Mirror
by Norwalker
Summary: Suppose Buffy lost one of those fights? Suppose a Vampire with a wicked sense of humor decided to play a nasty little trick, and change things forever? No specific pairings, though the Chosen Two both play a major role in the story, along with Willow
1. Chapter 1

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 1

Summary: Alternate Buffyverse. Suppose Buffy didn't win one of those fights? And some Vampire with a wicked sense of humor decided to change things forever?

Pairings: They vary. Nothing is forever. Is it?

Rating: M

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. All rights reserved by the owners. I'm just using them in the story and not making anything on it. The story is mine.

1

… _The mirror cracked, from side to side …_

_Alfred, Lord Tennyson " The Lady of Shallot"_

She stretched and yawned, awakening from her sleep. It was dark out; it was always dark out when she woke these days. Not like before.

Swinging her legs off the bed, she padded towards the bathroom and a nice shower. Even with how everything was different, she still liked a daily shower. Reaching in, she turned on the taps, then doffed her sleepwear, entering the shower and letting the warm spray stimulate her. She loved the feel of the water as it pelted her pale, smooth skin. Shaking her blond hair, she luxuriated in her shower.

It was one of the few things that seemed to carry over into her new life. Everything else had changed, but she still had showers to look forward to. Soaping down, she carefully washed each and every bit of herself. _There's no excuse to be stinky,_ she thought, as the mild herbal fragrance clung to her skin. Smiling, she turned in the shower, letting the water wash away the soap. Fully awake now, and refreshed, she cut the water and reached out for a towel. She dried off and then sat on the toilet, brushing out her hair.

Sitting there, she thought of how odd it was that a lifetime of habits clung on, even after they were no longer needed. She didn't really need to go through these rituals anymore. Like her old life, it was superfluous to what her life was like now. But every evening, she showered, brushed her hair, put on her makeup and went through all the habits she so carefully acquired through her life.

_My old life, _she corrected herself. Not her life as it was now. It all seemed like a dream to her, that old life. She remembered what she was, her friends, her family, what she liked and disliked. What she believed and didn't believe. Her mores and values. All still there, the memories intact. It just didn't mean anything now. None of it.

2

The words came to her unbidden. The words she'd lived by, fought by, and finally, died by.

" Into every generation a slayer is born…"

She remembered being ambushed, and knocked unconscious.

" One girl in all the world…"

She remembered being chained up. Being tortured by a Spike. Falling in and out of consciousness as the pain got worse and worse.

" A chosen one ..."

She remembered wishing it were over, praying that it would be over. Waking up screaming, the pain was so bad… and Spike looking on, laughing at her…

"One born with the strength and skill to fight the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness …"

That was the worst. The feeling of helplessness, the weakness. The fear.

"… to stop the spread of their evil…"

Her anger, her hatred at watching that sadist taking pleasure in humiliating and torturing her. The rage, how she thirsted for revenge.

" … and the swell of their numbers."

And finally, tiring of the game, Spike took her. Bit her while raping her, sucking the very life from her. She remembers the pain, and the strange feeling of ecstasy as her life drained away… and the cares… everything falling away, leaving only the darkness.

" She's awake!" Spike crowed as he knelt beside her. " Hello, pet, we weren't sure you were going to make it."

She struggled to sit up, and realized the chains were gone. She felt weak, very weak. Abused and bruised and cut, and weak. And hungry. Hunger like she'd never felt before.

" What… where…" was all she got out, her voice hoarse; her throat dry.

" Now Spike, our daughter needs a little snack. She's all new, and confused, do be good and show her." Drusilla watched her carefully.

_What is that nut job saying?_ She wondered to herself. But she was weak, and so hungry. God, she needed to feed…

" C'mon along, pet, don't be shy now. You know what you want, " Spike grabbed her arm, and hauled her to her feet.

She felt wobbly and woozy and weak. She looked around, and saw the victim tied up, looking scared, trying to escape his bonds.

The hunger, the need in her flared, and she knew. Knew what they'd done to her, what she was. She felt sick. It was her worst fear, realized. She was a vampire. Like them.

But she looked at the human, the prey, and her mouth watered. She needed it. Desired it. Wanted it. She looked at Spike questioningly. He just nodded and shoved her towards him… it. It wasn't a him to her anymore. It wasn't anything but prey.

She felt her face change, and her teeth grow into fangs. She saw the fear on the victim's face, and it only made it sweeter, more desirable. She tried to fight the feeling, but it was too strong, she needed it too much. She fell upon the prey, and sank her teeth into it. The screams were like music, and the fear, the utter fear tasted like honey and clover. She fed, grasping her victim to her as her strength increased. She felt the hot blood in her mouth, in her throat, and it was nearly as intense as an orgasm. She fed until there was nothing left.

When she finished, she leaped up, feeling strong. Stronger than she'd ever felt before. _Drusilla's right,_ she thought, the warmth of the blood pumping through her body. _ I am new… powerful._ Everything was sharper, clearer. Her senses were enhanced. She felt as if she could do anything, anything at all.

" Oh, look at her Spike. She's magnificent. She'll be a wonderful addition to our little family," Dru clapped her hands, insanely happy.

" So, pet, welcome to our world," Spike said, " I always sensed that little bit of darkness in you. Now you can use it, free of all that conscience crap." He walked over to her, smiling. " How do you feel?"

She smiled, and reached out, putting her hand on his face. " I feel…" She grabbed his face, and with a quick twist, snapped his neck. He looked shocked, before crumbling into dust. "… strong!"

" Oooooo…." Drusilla moaned, up and racing towards her, hand extended like claws. " What have you done?"

She was fast, faster than even Drusilla, and before Drusilla could reach her, she'd picked up a piece of scrap wood, and plunged it into her heart. Drusilla kept coming, dusting on the fly, scattering across the floor.

" I've killed him, and you, bitch," Buffy answers the dust cloud. " No one fucks with me in my town."

She felt the laughter bubble up in her, insane laughter that needed to be released. She laughed at her idiot sires, at the world, at everything she'd believed before. It _ was _ new now; new and different. She was strong, stronger than ever before. Powerful in a way she never expected.

And she was hungry. Very hungry. The snack had been nice, but now she needed to feed. _ So much blood, so little time._ She chuckled to herself.

_Time to hunt, _ she thought to herself as she neared the door,_ time to kill._

She felt an almost sexual thrill go through her as she walked out the door, into the night.

_Mine. All mine._

3

" … all mine, " She murmured, looking out the window on the moonlit Sunnydale. She stood framed by the window, the moonlight playing on her naked form and pale blond hair.

And it was all hers. From the first, she made it her town. Using her skills as a slayer, she'd one by one eliminated any vampires that thought to be competition, leaving only those that were in thrall to her. In one sense, she lived up to her old mission: she kept the vampire population low. Lower even than when she was alive. No new vamps dared come to Sunnydale to challenge her. And she strictly controlled who would be 'sired', keeping the vamp population well in her control. Anyone defying her will found themselves quickly on the wrong end of a stake. She didn't tolerate disobedience.

She sighed, knowing she would have to dress and go out soon. She loved being naked these days, enjoying the night air against her skin. Unlike when she was alive, she enjoyed her body, and what pleasure it could bring her. She often took human lovers, male and female, using them, hurting them and then feeding off them after she came. It made the sexual pleasure more intense when the fear kicked in and the hot blood flowed down her throat. The sex and the blood, the pain and the fear, all became one for her; one giant never ending pleasure.

She went over to the closet, and pulled out the clothes d' jour. Strangely, even though she was a completely different being in so many ways, she still dressed much like she had when alive. Maybe more butch now, preferring tight jeans and tops and boots to other looks, but still, she could dress all girly at a drop of a hat. She often did, finding it added to the pleasure when her prey found out she wasn't so ' sweet and innocent' as she looked. She smiled thinking about the looks on their faces when things got a little wild.

But tonight was a dress casual night for her. Things might get physical. They might get weird. _And anyway, why dress up to see old friends, huh?_

She smiled to herself as she pulled on the jeans.

4

"Have you lost your mind?" Willow paces in the alcove off the main floor of the Bronze. " That… that's just insanity."

" Things are desperate, Willow. Without a slayer…" Giles is trying to hold his patience, knowing what he's proposing is difficult for the others to accept.

"We don't know that Buffy's… " Willow can't bring herself to say it. " She might be in hiding, or… she might have run away…"

"You saw that place, Willow, " Giles says, going to her, " you saw the blood…"

" It was Buffy's blood, I could smell it…" Angel, in the shadows, comes out in the light.

" Well, considering, you'd know, wouldn't you?" Xander says, hostility plain in his voice, " I mean you did feed off her…"

" I had no choice, Xander. I didn't want to. She made me feed from her."

" Right. She held a stake to your heart and said,' bite me or die!' ".

" She didn't need to put a stake to me, Xander. I was dying… remember?"

" I remember that when things got tough, you turned to the one you said you loved, and nearly killed her drinking from her…"

" Xander, stop it. Angel has nothing to do with this. We don't even know for sure she's… gone."

" Will, stop it. Stop living in a fantasy, she's dead!" Xander turns on her." Wishing it weren't so? Not going to change things. She's dead, and turned…" He turns back to Angel, his face suspicious, " and I'm not convinced that dead boy here didn't have something to do with it!"

Willow reacts like Xander slapped her in the face. She looks stunned, then sits down, holding her face as she leans over the table. She starts to sob.

Angel, on the other hand, pushes Xander up against a wall, holding him by the neck, his feet off the ground. His anger is boiling over.

" You'd think I'd want this for Buffy? I know what it's like … to feel the hunger, the craving… I swear, Harris, if you weren't one of her friends, I'd tear your head off…" His face is bare inches from Xander's. " I loved her, moron. I'd never do something like this to her. I wanted to protect her from …"

" Yeah, fine one, wanting to protect her. Running to L.A., because you couldn't deal. Fine way to protect her, " Xander tries to swing out to hit Angel, but Angel's grip is too tight.

" Stop it!" Giles says. Seeing they're not listening, he goes over to them, trying to come between them." I said, STOP IT!" He shouts the last bit, startling the both of them. " Let him go, Angel!"

Angel looks angry, but complies, letting Xander go suddenly, so he drops to the floor. He stalks off to the other side of the room. Xander gets up, and seeing Willow still crying at the table, goes over to her.

" Hey, I'm sorry, Will. I didn't mean to snap at you like that…"

Willow looks up at him, face wet with tears, eyes red. " You just said what you thought, Xander. I think… I know you're wrong, but …"

"We've gotten off the point here, I believe, " Giles interrupts, " without Buffy, no matter what her current state," he says the last as a sop to Willow, " the Hellmouth has no guardian. We need a slayer here, to watch over things."

" See, that's what doesn't make sense, " Willow says, piping up. " If Buffy is really gone, why hasn't the demon/ vampire population exploded? Things are quiet around here. Someone is watching things. That's Buffy…"

" I admit that's rather strange," Giles muses, " but that doesn't mean it's attributable to Buffy's presence. It might be just a quiet time for the Hellmouth. That's all the more reason we need a slayer here. There's no telling when the Hellmouth will kick in, drawing more demons and vampires."

" Why isn't there another slayer, then?" Willow says, quietly.

" I'm not following, Will." Xander puts in.

" One slayer dies, another is chosen. Where's the new slayer?"

" Buffy died and had a new slayer created from that death, " Giles says. " Back when she fought the Master. She died briefly, and Kendra was activated. When Drusilla killed Kendra… Faith was activated."

" Right, so if Buffy's dead, shouldn't another … what? Another slayer be activated?"

" No, because that only occurs once. The line no longer runs through Buffy. Faith is the latest slayer. A new slayer will only be called if she dies."

" We can only hope, " Xander touches his neck, remembering how Faith nearly strangled him to death.

" Faith isn't the same as when she left here, " Angel puts in, " she's changed. A lot."

" This from the guy who nearly killed every one of us, and tried to destroy the world. Yeah, that's really making me feel better about it, " Xander taunts.

" Xander? Shut up!" Willow almost yells at him. " Angel didn't have his soul. He's not like that now. So stop sniping at him, and help."

" I don't want her here," Xander subsides, but is still sniping. " I don't trust her." He stares straight at Angel, making his meaning clear.

" I don't trust her either, " Willow supports him. She turns to Giles. " Isn't there something else we can do? Maybe when Buffy comes back…"

" Willow, you have to accept the fact that Buffy isn't coming back," Giles tries to make it as gentle as he can, but also needs her to face the facts.

" I don't believe that. There's no proof…"

Angel walks over, and puts something on the desk in front of Willow. It's a small silver cross. She looks up at him.

" I found this at the warehouse. There was blood on it. I gave her that…" He stops, the feelings the memory evokes are painful, "… when I first met her. She's never taken it off… that I know of."

Willow holds the cross in her hand, her thumb rubbing over it. Something seems to weigh down on her, as if a great weight has been put on her. She looks up and whispers softly. " Ok, Angel. I don't like it. I don't. But if there's no other way…"

" No! Not you too, Will. No!" Xander walks away from the table, and turns on the group. " Are you all insane? Don't you remember what happened the last time she was here? What's to say she doesn't turn on us again? Who can guarantee that?"

" I will "

Everyone turns to the voice that just spoke up. Faith, a very changed Faith dressed much more conservatively than any of them remember seeing her, is standing near the alcove entrance.

A pin could be heard to drop.

" What? She's here?"

" I thought we were going to talk about this first."

" Swell, I guess our opinions don't mean jack here."

" Give her a chance."

" Oh, right. Like last time? So she can like try to kill us again?"

Faith watches the others going ballistic on her. The only sign of nervousness at being here is her hands; she's twisting and untwisting them.

" How is she out of prison, anyway? She should be in there for a couple more decades, right?"

" She's changed."

" I'll believe that when I see tigers wearing spots."

" So, you here to gloat, Faith? Must be pretty sweet, now that you're the only slayer left!"

" Xander!"

" Will, you know it's true."

" There's no proof."

" What about the cross, Will? You were ready to accept that."

" HEY!" Faith finally speaks up. The others just go on.

" Angel, how could you bring her here? At least before we talked about this?"

" Giles and I agreed that we needed her here. With Buffy gone, we need the Slayer on the Hellmouth."

" She's not the slayer. _Buffy's_ THE Slayer. She's just a murdering, betraying bitch!"

" Can I say something?" Faith tries to cut in. No luck.

" Buffy's dead, Willow. You're going to have to accept that."

" Show me a body. Show me her body, and I'll accept it."

"I don't care if Buffy's dead or not, " Xander puts in, " I don't want _her…_" he points at Faith," … here. She's bad news, and she'll turn on us like before!"

" That's enough, Xander. All of you. She's here, and we need her here," Giles shuts down the discussion. " We need a slayer on the Hellmouth, and Faith is our only choice. End of discussion."

There is some grumbling when Faith speaks up.

" Thanks for that vote of confidence, G. It was heartwarming, " Faith turns to the group. " Look, I get it. You don't want me here. I don't want to be here, either. But with Buffy gone…" She sees Willow glare at her, "… wherever, we don't gotta choice. Like it or not, we're stuck with each other. You don't trust me? Good. Maybe you shouldn't. I'll have to earn that back, I know that." She sees the looks on Xander's and Willow's faces. " I've changed. But I know you don't believe that, so I can only do my job, and stay out of your way. That's it" she shrugs, moving back.

" So that's it? That's all?" Xander says, rising. " funny, I didn't hear one word about being sorry."

" Me either, " Willow stands. " I guess that doesn't really matter though, does it? Like our opinions."

Faith looks at Willow. " If I'd said it, would you believe me?"

Willow frowns at her. " You haven't changed a bit, have you? You might've fooled Angel and Giles, but you're the same. No, I don't think I'd believe you're sorry, cuz you're not."

" Willow, at least give her a chance," Angel says, frustrated over how things have gone.

" We gave her plenty of chances, " Xander pipes up, " Buffy did her best to keep her out of trouble. She went to the wall for her. And she paid it back by… why am I wasting my breath?" He makes a disgusted noise, grabs his coat and leaves.

Willow picks up her purse.

" I hope you don't regret this, Giles, " She looks at him; for the first time, she doesn't understand what he's doing. " This is a big mistake."

She turns and starts to follow Xander out.

" Willow, please. Think about this. Don't walk away." Giles walks over to her. " I know it's hard to accept, but I really do know what I'm doing here."

" I hope so, Giles," Willow leaves.

" Well, that went smashingly, I must say, " Giles sighs.

" Yeah, didn't have to break out a knife, or nothing, " Faith mocks herself." Just being her drove them away."

" Faith, don't beat yourself up over this, " Angel says. " They'll come around."

" It's ok, big guy. Not like I didn't have it coming," Faith stares out of the alcove. " If you guys are right, and B's turned, I don't want them around if I gotta stake her. They'd never get over that one."

" Faith, you just need to be patient. They'll accept it in time, " Giles says softly.

" No they won't, G. I mean, sure maybe they'll accept B's death after awhile, but not me. Not here. This is B's town, and it's always gonna be that way. I'm the intruder here. That hasn't changed." She sits in one of the couches. " This sucks."

" Just give it time, " Angel sits next to her, " they'll deal."

" How 'bout you, Angel? You dealing?"

Angel's face tells her the whole story.

" Yeah, didn't think so, " Faith says, softly. " I'm sorry, Angel. I really wish none of this happened. Ever."

" We were over long ago, Faith, " Angel straightens up. " She was a slayer, she knew the risks."

" Sure," Faith says, unconvinced.

" So, Faith, now you're here, where will you be staying?" Giles asks.

" I dunno," Faith shrugs. " I guess the Sunnydale Motor Inn's still there. That'll do. Hell, after my cell, it'll be like Shangri La."

"Actually, I've made other arrangements for you, if you don't object."

" Oh, really?" Faith's suspicious. " Nice little cell at the police station? I want a view, ya know."

" Faith," Giles' exasperation shows.

" Sorry, guess I still got trust issues of my own. So, what's the skinny on the digs?"

" I've arranged for you to stay with someone…"

"Giles, you dog!" Faith deadpans, " I didn't know you felt that way!"

Giles is perplexed for a second. Then blushes when he gets it.

" I wasn't referring to myself. That would be inappropriate, so say the least."

" Always so proper, Giles. Well, who is it? Who's gonna be my keeper huh?"

" Keeper? No, it's not like that," Giles insists. "But, you have to admit part of your problem before was being alone too much of the time."

" Yeah, yeah, so who's my jailer?" Faith is getting tired of this.

Giles pulls a slip of paper out of his pocket. " You'll go to this address. There's a room there for you."

Faith takes the paper from Giles. She looks at the address, then looks up at him.

" This is Buffy's address." She shakes her head, " No way. There's no way I can live there. Think I don't remember what I did to Mrs. Summers that time?" She stares at him. " Does she know it's ME she's renting a room to? There's no way she could've agreed to this."

"Actually, when she heard we were bringing you to town, she came to me. She asked me to have you stay with her."

" Mrs. Summers? Buffy's mom?" Faith can't process this. " After what I did to her and her daughter? I'd think she'd want to take a shotgun to me."

" Joyce Summers is a pretty special lady, Faith, " Angel interjects. " She forgave me, after I almost killed her daughter." He grins ruefully, " of course, she did want us to break up…"

" I can't do this. I tied up the lady, and terrorized her. What do I say to her? ' Sorry, didn't mean to almost kill you.' ?"

" Faith, Joyce always cared about you. Actually, I tried to convince her not to put you up." Giles admits.

" Not hard enough."

" But she wouldn't hear of you living in one of those sleazy motels downtown. She insisted you stay with her. And I think she's a little lonely with Buffy gone."

" I'm not B, Giles."

"She's well aware of that, Faith. But, as Angel says, Joyce is a very special woman. I think it behooves you to give her a chance, anyway."

"I don't like this. I really don't like this. It's like I'm taking over Buffy's life. I know the other's are gonna think that. Buffy wouldn't want this."

Giles sighs , pinching the bridge of his nose.

" Buffy's gone, Faith. It doesn't matter what she would want now."

" That's harsh, coming from you, Giles, " Faith looks at him. " And that doesn't change the fact that I can feel Buffy's eyes boring through me at the moment." She shivers. " At least, it feels like that."

From a catwalk far above, a figure emerges from the shadow. There's a cynical smile on her lips. She nods to herself.

" Well, now, isn't this a hoot?" Buffy murmurs, leaning on the catwalk railing. " the surprises just keep on coming. Welcome back, Faith. This might get interesting yet."

She slips quietly back into the shadows.

5

" What do you think they're talking about in there?" Xander is sitting at a table with Willow, opposite the alcove. Both are watching the others carefully.

" What do I care?" Willow says, turning away. " Not like they listen to me … us anyway."

" Will… what's going on in that head of yours?" Xander tries to read her. " Don't tell me you're still thinking Buffy's alive?"

" You guys are so ready to bury her, what does it matter?"

" It matters because my bestest friend in the world is holding onto this crazy hope that her best friend is still alive, when everything points to not."

" What? Buffy can't bleed and still be alive? She might've crawled away after, hurt. She might be in a hospital somewhere…"

" We checked all the hospitals."

" Yeah, in Sunnydale."

" Where do you suggest we check? Seattle? Tucson? Barstow?"

" Maybe she didn't go to a hospital . Maybe she's just lying up, hurt, trying to heal. Alone…"

" Will, it's been 6 months. If she were…"

" Amnesia!"

"What?"

" Amnesia. She could have amnesia. She might not know who she is…"

" Willow, stop!" Xander pounds the table in frustration. " I don't want her dead, either. But you're over the edge."

" Just because I have hope, Xander Harris, is no reason for you to talk to me like that! Buffy's strong, and she's resourceful. She …"

" Dammit! Face facts, Will. Buffy's gone. She's dead. If she's around, then it means she's…."

"No, no!" Willow insists, in a soft, quiet voice." You're wrong. I won't believe it, Xander. They couldn't… didn't make her… like that. She's too good, she's… it's wrong, and you're wrong!"

" She's human, Will. Anyone can be turned. Me, you… her…"

" She's the Slayer! That means something. It has to, Xander. It has to!"

Willow shakes her head, but it's in defeat. She knows in her heart of hearts Buffy's dead… maybe even a vampire._ But if I admit it, if I believe it, it makes it true. It can't be true, it just can't be._

" Will, I'm sorry, " Xander reaches over, covering her hand.

" I know."

" Look, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she is…"

" I know she's dead, Xander. I've known it for a long time. I just … I just don't want it … I …" She puts her head on the table. Not crying, just all the fight gone out of her.

Xander quietly strokes her hair, for once keeping quiet.

" What're we going to do, Xander?"

" I dunno, Will. I guess we just have to deal with her death, every day. Try to get past it, go on."

" I mean about Faith. What're we going to do about her?"

Xander looks as if he's smelled something bad." I don't know or care, Will. Frankly, they've made up their minds. Pretty much tells me how what we think rates. They want her? Fine, let 'em have her. But I'm out."

" Xander!" Willow lifts her head.

" Don't, Will. Don't even try. No way I'm … she tried to kill me, Will. Remember? I went over there to support her, and she winds up strangling me!"

" In her bed," Willow says quietly, " where you'd been before."

" She threw me there, Will. I didn't want to be there! God, the last thing I wanted was sex with Faith."

" Like the first time?"

" That was totally different. We'd been fighting one of those she demon thingies, and we escaped from it, back to her place. And she got all … squiggly, and god, I was 17, Will. I had raging hormones 24/7. It just happened. It didn't mean anything."

Willow just smiled.

" So, what? Are you just going to quit?"

" I dunno. Maybe. Look, Will, we were in this because, well… because of Buffy. We hung in because we were like… family. You just don't walk out on family. But… it hasn't been right in awhile. Even Buffy wasn't … she didn't feel it at the end, Will."

" Xander! She's the slayer!"

" That's why she hung in, Will. It was her deal, her destiny and all. But be real. Her heart wasn't in it. Not anymore, not since…"

" … Dawnie died," Willow finishes in a whisper.

It had been terrible for all of them. Glory, the hell goddess, and Dawn, the key… made human and Buffy's sister for her and the world's protection from Glory. Who found her, and used her… and Dawnie, after the rituals were performed, and the portal was opened, jumped into it to save the world.

Buffy never really came back from that. She knew in her head that Dawnie wasn't her sister, but in her heart, it was as if she lost more than a sister. She lost a big piece of herself. She went on, she continued her sacred duty, but it no longer meant what it had to her. In a moment of black despair, she'd confessed to Willow that she often wished it had been her that died that day.

" Xander, we can't quit. She didn't, even when she lost so much. How can we? We owe her that."

" I just don't feel it anymore, Will. I dunno. I'll talk to Anya, see what she says."

" So when are you two going to make me an Aunt, already?" Willow smiles. " It's been nearly 2 years you guys have been married. What's the hold up? I want a baby to rock."

" That's another thing. I don't feel right about having children… here." Xander waves his hand around." This place is cursed."

" The Bronze?" Willow teases.

" No… Sunnydale. That's why we're thinking of…"

" Moving? Gosh, Xander, I thought you were just kidding!"

Xander shakes his head. " We both don't feel right here. And children? I think I'm going to seriously consider it now."

" Where you going to go, Xander?"

" I dunno. We'll find someplace. All I know I want to get away from Hellmouths, and demons and all the rest. Someplace that isn't Demon party town."

" Oh gosh. Look at the time!" Willow glances at her watch. " I've gotta go, before visiting hours are over!" She pushes away from the bar.

" How… how's Tara doing?" He puts his hand over hers.

" I really… I think I see real progress, Xan. I mean, she doesn't really react much. But sometimes, I can see her seeing me in her eyes. I know she's there, Xan. I really do. If I could only find the right spell…"

" Will…" Xander sounds tired. They've talked too many times about this.

" No, Xander, she's there. If I could only find her, bring her out… She'd be fine. I know it. I know it."

" Ok, honey, " He rubs her shoulder reassuringly. " Hey, how 'bout I walk you over?"

" No, I'll be fine, " She smiles at him. " Anyway, you better get home to Anya. She still thinks I'm trying to steal you away from her."

They both laugh at that.

" She just doesn't get the concept of gay, Will."

" An 1100 year old vengeance demon, who's seen everything, and gay is a stumper for her." Willow giggles.

" She just doesn't get how you can have fun without… how does she put it? Oh yeah. The interlocking body parts."

They both push off from the bar, and start towards the back exit. Willow stops before they reach the door, and stops Xander with a touch.

" Xander? Don't… make too hasty a decision, ok? At least, promise you'll think about things before you make up your mind."

" Are we back to Faith? I'm sorry, Will. I just can't accept her in place of Buffy. I really don't think she's changed all that much. It's going to end badly. I just know it."

" At least think about it. Think of what Buffy would want. I don't think she'd want us to just … quit. Faith's here now, and we're going to have to accept that. And that she's the Slayer now."

" If Buffy were here, she'd kick her skanky ass out of town."

Willow shakes her head. " No. She's bitch about her, and she wouldn't trust her, and watch her like a hawk. But I'd think she'd give her a chance. I'm not doing cartwheels here, Xander. And I'm not sure I'm ready to count Buffy out yet. But … I think we have to at least try."

" I'll think about it. But I don't think I'll change my mind."

" You're a stubborn man, Xander Harris."

" Maybe. But that's why you love me, Willow Rosenberg."

" Yeah, don't you forget it either, Mister!"

They hug at the door, and leave, going their separate ways.

6

Faith walks slowly down Revello Drive. After the warm welcome home at the Bronze, she rather relishes the alone time. The street has a lot of memories for her; some good, most bad.

She's still not convinced this isn't a mistake. Coming back here to Sunnydale.

_They don't want me here, and hey, not doing the dance of joy being here. So, why am I here?_ Her face takes on a harder expression. _ Probably because the council had such a bitch of a time trying to kill me in prison. Not sure they aren't going to keep at it now that I'm out. But for now, I'm what they got, and this is my gig. Yay team!_

She stops in front of 1630 Revello, and stands looking at the porch. _Geeze, why didn't I con Giles or Angel to come with? What the hell am I gonna say to Mrs. Summers?_

_" Hey, Joyce, Long see no time. Remember me? Faith? The murdering bitch that tied you up and almost cut you to get back at Buffy. Oh yeah, and I switched bodies with her. Sorry bout stealing your cash and credit cards. So, how's tricks? "_

_Yeah, that'll do it. This is really a mistake. Big time._

Faith starts to turn, ready to leave, when the porch light comes on. The front door opens.

" Faith? Is that you?" Joyce Summers calls out. " Mr. Giles phoned, letting me know you were coming."

" Yeah, it's me, Mrs. Summers." Faith calls back.

" Think you could come closer? A bit late in the evening to be shouting at each other."

" Right…right." Faith walks to the porch. " Sorry."

" Hello Faith, " Joyce says, giving her the once over." You look … different." She smiles, realizing her faux pas. " I mean, you look well."

" Kinda not like the teenage slut like before?"

" Well, I see that hasn't changed. Right to it, huh Faith?" Joyce smiles. There's an edge of sadness to it.

" I'm sorry, Mrs. Summers, but I don't get it. Why did you volunteer to put me up? I haven't forgotten what I've done to you and …" she trails off.

" It's ok, you can say her name. I'm not going to fall to pieces, Faith," Joyce gestures, " Want to come inside? Might be more comfortable."

Faith shrug, and starts to walk inside, but stops before the doorway. " No." She shakes her head, and backs off. " I'm sorry, but no. This isn't going to work, Mrs. Summers…"

" Joyce. Call me Joyce, please."

" I can't be here. It's too weird. It's like I'm…."

" Taking over her life?" Joyce says with a small edge of sadness. " But isn't that kind of what you're doing?"

" No, I'm not her. I'm me, " Faith says slowly, with emphasis. " I can't be her, Mrs. Summers. Ever."

" That isn't what I meant, Faith. I'm not saying you're replacing her. But you are taking over her responsibilities, right? I mean… where she left off when…" Joyce trails off. "I'm sorry, it's still difficult…"

" Mrs. Summers… Joyce…" Faith lays a hand on her shoulder.

"…accepting what she is now. After fighting them for so long." Joyce has a strange look on her face.

Faith feels a coldness in the pit of her stomach. " You know? For sure… that she… B's a …"

" Vampire?" Joyce says it almost casually. " Yes I know."

Faith feels suddenly wary, as if the trap just sprung. She backs off a little. " How? "

" Buffy's been to see me, of course. A lot of times. I'm not psychic, you know."

Faith lets the stake she keeps up her sleeve slide down into her hand. She holds it towards Joyce. " I think I'm going now…"

" I'm not a vampire, Faith. Don't be ridiculous," Joyce pulls out a large silver crucifix from her blouse." Buffy didn't bite me or anything. We just … talk."

The coldness in her stomach is accompanied by a shiver up her spine. " What's the real deal here, Mrs. Summers?" Faith still feels like something is going to jump out at her. " Why didn't you tell the others?"

" So they could what? Kill her?" Joyce's tone suddenly becomes bitter. " Didn't they do that once already?"

" So that's what this is about, " Faith gets the picture. " That's why you 'volunteered' to put me up when you heard I was coming… you want … you want me to promise not to stake her." Her voice goes flat. " What? Room and board for not doing my job? Is that it?"

" You're job?" Joyce asks, " Killing my daughter is your job?" She laughs, unpleasantly. " I thought it was just a hobby with you, Faith."

" I never wanted to kill B, Mrs. Summers, " Faith paces. " Scare her? Oh yeah. Make her worry? You betcha. Beat the crap outta her? In a second. But I never woulda killed her."

" Like you didn't kill those others?" Joyce asks. " Face it, you were a killer, and my daughter was high on your list."

" I didn't want to kill her, I wanted her to suffer, " Faith says quietly, simply. " I wanted to hurt her back."

" She never did anything to you."

" I know that now. But then I didn't. I thought she hated me, and I didn't get why." She stops pacing, and looks at Joyce. " I know the 'why' now. I've had lots of time to think about it."

" Buffy never hated you, Faith."

" No, I get that now. But she didn't really want to like me either, did she? She wouldn't have been to broken up if I'd walked off a cliff somewhere. I kinda ruined her exclusive little club, her not being the only one anymore… right?"

Faith feels a stinging slap, and chuckles. " Yeah. Thing is, she was a kid, and so was I. We didn't get it, either of us. That we could've worked together, but neither of us got that. It was jealousy, both sides." She looks at Joyce, piercingly. " You guys were the adults. You should've figured it out… and didn't. That was your job, right?"

" I hated her life," Joyce sounds angry and guilty. " I hated what she was. Always being in danger. She was my baby, Faith. My little girl. And every day, she was at risk to die. I didn't want her to do it. I was hoping that with you here, she could quit. Be a normal girl again. But that didn't happen, did it?" Her tone goes tart. " You went bad, didn't you? You turned on everyone. And she was back in it again, fighting someone as strong, as quick and more dangerous than ever. Then you went to jail, and she was stuck. Again. And she did her job. And I got to worry about her, every day. Knowing that the smiling girl in front of me could be dead at any time. That I'd be looking down at her one day in her coffin. I couldn't do my job, to protect her. Could I? Because she… they… wouldn't let me!"

" Joyce…" Faith reaches out to her.

" Now I've got another chance. She needs her mother, now more than ever. Everyone's against her, and I won't let them do it. I won't"

" Joyce. That's not her. That's not Buffy. It's a demon taken up residence in her body. It looks and talks like her. It has her memories, but it's not her! Buffy's dead. She died when …"

SLAP!

"Get out, get out, " Joyce almost snarls at her. " You're no better than the rest of them. I thought at least maybe you'd understand. Just get out"

Faith backs away, down the stairs, holding her now throbbing cheek.

" Be careful, Joyce. She'll turn on you. Don't turn your back on her, and don't ever invite her in."

" Get OUT!"

Joyce goes inside, slamming the door behind her.

Faith looks briefly at the front door, then turns to walk down the street.

_Smooth, Faith. Way to handle a grieving mother. _ A cynical smile curves her lips. _ Why is it Summer's women always go for my face?_ She sighs, starting down Revello Drive. _ Now what? I guess it find some dump to live in. Good one, Faith. No money, and no job. Guess I'll have to bum some cash from Giles til I can find something to support myself with. Oh, he's gonna love this one._

" Alright, knock it off, " She says suddenly to no one. " I know you're there. I'm tired, and I don't want to play. Show yourself!"

She hears a light footfall behind her, and whirls, stake in hand. Standing in front of her is Buffy, grinning broadly. Startled, her instincts kick in, and she starts to shove the stake at her. Buffy grabs her hand, and pulls her close.

" Hey, cutie, " She says with a half sneer, " What's up?"

Before Faith can free herself, Buffy head butts her, stunning her.

" Still so hostile, huh Faith?" Buffy grins at the groggy slayer. " Well, let me give you a special welcome back."

She brings her fist around, hitting Faith in the face. Faith falls like a ton of bricks.

Buffy laughs, and slings the unconscious slayer over her shoulder.

" And I thought this was gonna be hard."

Buffy slips quietly into the night.

7

_It's dark_.

That's the first thing she notices when her eyes open reluctantly, her head throbbing. _Shit, where the hell am I?_ The second thing she notices is she's tied to some kind of post. Her arms tied extra tightly behind her, she's sitting on a floor. Her legs are also bound.

Faith struggles against her bonds, but quickly realizes that whoever did them knew how to tie somebody up. _ Buffy, of course._ She leans heavily against the ropes around her chest.

" Hey, you're awake!" Buffy calls out cheerily. She brings a candle over, setting it beside Faith. " Sorry, forgot you can't see so good in the dark."

" Really sweet of you, B. But then, you always were the thoughtful one, weren't you?" Faith licks her lips.

" Dry? Want some water? Maybe something a little stronger? I got some whiskey around here, somewhere."

Faith hears some rattling.

" Knock it off, B. Woulda? Just kill me and get it over with."

" Kill you?" Buffy laughs. " God, what gives you that idea? Just wanna talk, girlfriend. It's been ages since we had a nice lil chat, don't ya think?" She looks through some other cabinets. " Ah-hah. Knew it. " She looks at the label. " Well, it's scotch, but anything in a storm, eh?" She pours some in a glass, and comes over to Faith.

"Lame, B. Real lame, " Faith looks at her. " I know what you are."

" Gee. Me too. Kinda cool, huh?" She squats down, putting the glass to Faith's lips. " Sorry 'bout the ropes. But you're always so hostile around me. Is it me? Do I bring out the bad Faith in you?"

Faith spits out the scotch. " Thanks, no thanks. Not in the mood to drink, especially with you.

" Now, don't be that way, Faith. At least, have some water." She puts another glass to Faith's lips. Faith sips, tasting it, then drinks the water greedily. "Careful, honey, you'll choke." She pulls the glass away. " There, better now?"

" Cut the crap, would you Buffy? I know you're gonna kill me, the little miss hostess act's not fooling nobody. Just get it done, so I don't have to look at your skanky face anymore, 'k?"

" So rude. But that's you, isn't it?" Buffy smiles at her. She leans in closer. " Don't you get it? Not going to kill you. Not yet, anyway. What's the fun in that?"

" So what's this all about then, B? Just a new twist on the old game? Get into B&D? " She gives Buffy a once over. " Well, you are kinda dressing more Butch these days."

" Told ya, just wanna chat. But you get all stake-y, and wanting to dust me. I don't get that, " Buffy shrugs. " You shoulda taken the deal, Faith." Her tone loses its lightness.

" The Deal? Oh, you mean… well, what? I'm supposed to like look the other way while you suck your way through Sunny-D? Sorry, not gonna happen. You vampire, me slayer. We know how that works out."

" God, when did you get all by-the-book, Faith?" Buffy pouts a little. " Not like I'm asking you to ignore your ' sacred duty ' or anything. I would've made sure you had plenty of vamps to stake, demons to kill. No skin off my nose, you know?" She grins. " Just, when you see me, you go your way, I go mine, nobody's hurt. Nobody important anyway."

" Don't work that way, B."

" God, Angel's really done a number on your head. What a waste!" She looks at Faith with some amusement and disgust. " What happened to you? You used to be so… cool. When did you get the cork surgically attached to your ass?"

" I'm guessing about the same time you went on a liquid diet, B."

" It's a shame you know? We could've had fun. Butch and Sundance, Bonnie and Clyde…"

" Abbot and Costello? Get real, Buffy. I'm a slayer, and I kill your kind. That doesn't change. You know that. I'm sorry you got turned, Buffy. But that's the breaks. And you know if I get outta this, I'm gonna have to dust you. That's the breaks, too."

" Yeah. Life sucks. Well, for you, anyway," Buffy nods. " Me, I'm liking it. Being un-dead? Best thing ever. All the power, all the fun, none of that pesky morality crap. Really too bad." She sits down by Faith, patting her thigh. " We could've had a blast, you and me. I forgot how cute you are…" Buffy leans in, her face next to Faith's. " Could be fun, you know?" She licks Faith's neck, which send shivers down Faith. " You and me. You really as wild as you made out? I'm betting you're a little hottie in bed." Her tongue licks Faith's ear, as her hand slides up Faith's thigh." I wouldn't mind test driving that body, " She whispers throatily in Faith's ear. " C'mon, baby, just give in to that darkness. You know you want to. Think of it. Getting back at all those creeps."

" Back off, B." Faith says shakily.

" Aw, now don't be that way. You know they screwed you, without so much as a kiss. I mean, they sent you to prison, but look that them. Giles, he's no saint. When he was a kid, he did some pretty nasty stuff. And Angel? Where's he come off? He's killed more people than anyone could count. But they send you up for killing a few stiffs? How's that fair?"

" You're getting senile, B. Must be the blood on the brain. I gave myself up, remember?" Faith's breathing is heavy. She's scared and aroused at the same time.

"They tricked you, Faith. All that talk of goodness, and doing the right thing. Turning you against the darkness, when… if you want to be truthful, that was the best. That made you alive, that made you strong. But they cut that from you. Or tried, didn't they, baby?" Buffy moves, so she's crouching over Faith. " Tried. But it's still there. I can taste it." She tears a little at Faith's t-shirt, revealing a little of Faith's chest. She leans over, kissing just at the top of her breasts. She looks up. " I know you remember how good it felt. How clean, how simple things were." She hooks her nail, and rips Faith's shirt a little more. " C'mon baby, I know you want it. You want that darkness again." She reveals a little of Faith's breast. She nips playfully at its edge, then nibbles it. " So sweet." She moves up, taking Faith's head in her hands. " It can be so sweet. Just say yes, Baby. " She leans in, to kiss her.

" Buffy?" Faith breathes heavily?

" Yes, lover?" Buffy smiles in anticipation.

" Fuck off!" Faith head butts her.

" Ow!" Buffy laughs. " God, you've got a hard head!"

" Get off me, bitch."

" Or what?" Buffy leans in, leering at her. " Whatcha gonna do?"

Faith has managed to loosen her leg bindings. She brings her legs up, kicking Buffy away. Buffy goes flying, hitting a wall. She bounces off the wall, and before Faith can blink, she's back at her. Grabbing her legs, she kneels on them.

" Well, look at you. All defiant and good and … what a dumb ass, " Buffy laughs at her. " Face it Faith, you can't win. Not against me. I know everything you know, and more. I'm stronger than you, and faster than you. And I fight dirty." Buffy's fist shoots out, punching Faith in the stomach. Faith groans. " Get smart, Faith, like you used to be. I'll even let you live. I can use somebody that can go out in the day. Just, don't be a dumb ass. It doesn't suit you."

Faith looks at her. She smirks, and spits on Buffy.

Buffy frowns for the first time. She wipes the spittle off her face.

" Well, I said I wasn't gonna kill you, and I won't, " Buffy half grins at her. " But that doesn't mean, I can't hurt you a little." She punches Faith in the crotch, hard. Faith's face scrunches up. " Not as effective as with boys, but it still hurts, don't it?" She laughs, then sitting on Faith's legs, gives her two chest punches, right on her breasts." Now, that hurts, don't it?" She starts to punch Faith repeatedly in the stomach. " Know what, Faith? Not gonna kill you, because that would just make your suffering way too short. Nope, I got plans for you."

She turns, and starts punching Faith in the face. " Gonna kill the others. One by one." Punch. " Not because I have to, because I want to." Punch." Wanna know why?"

" Why?" Faith, not really caring, asks.

" Cuz, baby," Buffy hits her again. " You'll know that it didn't have to be that way. I wasn't going to touch them. But you being a stubborn bitch," She slaps her," caused it. To hurt you. To haunt that precious conscience of yours." She keeps hitting her, not enough to knock her out, just enough to hurt. " So, what do you think of that?"

" Fuck… you… B"

" Naw, you had your chance." Buffy delivers the knock out blow. She stands up, and kicks her a few times in the ribs for good measure.

Buffy stands there, looking down on her. She spits on her. Turning, she heads for the drawers by the sink.

But it's the expression on her face that's strange. It's not anger, nor joy at just beating the shit out of her enemy. Her expression is one of sad bemusement. As if she can't understand why Faith turned her down, nor why she just beat her up.

She rifles through the drawer, at last coming up with a large, wickedly sharp looking knife. She goes back over to Faith.

For a moment, it looks as if she'll plunge the knife in Faith. Then, carefully, she starts to cut the ropes, loosening her bonds. Setting down the knife, she almost tenderly lifts the unconscious slayer. Looking at her, bleeding, starting to bruise, she leans over, and licks the blood from her mouth. But there's no triumph in her face, only sadness. She kisses her softly.

" Time for you to go home."

Carrying Faith, she walks to the door.

8

It's near morning, and Rupert Giles is at his desk.

Asleep, his head laying on a book. He's still wearing the clothes from the night before. Before him sits a bottle of scotch, half gone, a glass sitting beside it. He's snoring softly.

Buffy's disappearance, and to his mind, death, has hit him hard. He has no right, he knows, to feel this way. _It's only my slayer. Slayer's do die_. He's told himself, repeatedly. But that doesn't help the heartbreak he feels. She was more than that, more than he can ever even admit to himself. All he knows is that she's gone, and the only way he can sleep these days is to drink himself to sleep.

He awakens when a loud pounding jars him out of his sleep.

" Just a minute, " He half slurs out, still feeling the effects of last nights binge. _What the hell? He looks at the clock on the wall. 4 a.m. ? Who could it be ? Angel? Dammit, why can't this wait?_

The pounding repeats itself, and he loses his temper.

" I said, just a minute!" He yells, uncharacteristically. " I'm coming!"

_Stupid sodding git. Should've staked him long ago._ Giles stands, pausing a second to steady himself. He walks, a little stiffly from the cramps in his legs, to the door. Grabbing the knob, he pulls it open suddenly.

" What in heaven is so important it couldn't…" He starts, anticipating Angel. Instead, he sees nothing before him. Except a movement in the shadows. He stares, but it's not repeated.

" What in …" He looks down.

Laying at his feet is the Faith, beaten, bruised and a little bloody. It takes him a second to recognize her, her hair half plastered to her face.

" Oh my god." He kneels down by her. He touches her neck, feeling a pulse. " Thank god." He murmurs softly.

Faith stirs, and looking out of an eye that's blackened and swollen, sees a blurry Giles kneeling over her.

" Hey," She croaks out between swollen lips.

" Faith, what happened to you?"

" She's … back…" Faith loses consciousness.

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 2

Summary: Alternate Buffyverse. Suppose Buffy didn't win one of those fights? And some Vampire with a wicked sense of humor decided to change things forever?

Pairings: They vary. Nothing is forever. Is it?

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. All rights reserved by the owners. I'm just using them in the story and not making anything on it. The story is mine.

Author's note: Ok, just warning you now. MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IS POSSIBLE. If that's going to bum you out totally forever, don't read on. I warned you.

1

_Hunger._

She walks quietly down the alley, her boots barely making a sound. It's dark, but she doesn't need the light. Even wearing sunglasses, she sees as well as in a brightly lit restaurant. She smiles at the way the moonlight makes curious little pockets of shadow and light. She moves swiftly, because she is on the hunt.

Even from this distance, she can hear the noises they make. She listens carefully, like any good predator, waiting for the right time to move amongst the prey. She glides to the door, and testing it, lets herself in.

She waits in the shadows, checking the scene. She moves on the edges. She is not here to be seen, but to see. She doesn't want to be sought, but seeks. The heat, the noise, the emotion adds to the thrill of the chase. Her senses sharp, she catches the tiniest detail. She hears the thump and pound of their hearts, the blood rushing through their veins an arteries. She smells the lust, the desire, the fear each bleeds out through their pores. She can almost taste the life around her; it's rich and warm.

She dresses darkly to blend in the gloom, the spaces hidden from the light. She wears a dark wig, short, to keep from being spotted by those that know her, or knew her. She wears shades, and her lips are the color of deep red blood. Her skin is pale, almost luminescent in the half light of the club. She smiles, revealing white glistening teeth. This is the best part.

She moves as a shadow to their light. Disdaining the stairs, she climbs up to the catwalk, and moves gracefully to her spot. She looks down at the moveable feast below her. Her mouth waters in anticipation. Soon, it will come. She will taste the red in her mouth, feel it burn down her cold throat and warm her. She is patient. She seeks the right one, the ripest one, for her prey.

_Need._

In her time as a vampire, she has found that the blood of men and women are different. Men's blood has a bolder, harsher taste. It runs thick in the throat, and is very intoxicating. Like whiskey. Depending on the man, it's either like a single malt scotch, or a blended Irish. Women's blood is different. It is lighter, sweeter, it has a more complex taste. It's like drinking a fine merlot: Soft on the palette, with a sweeter, fruitier taste.

So what did she want this evening? Bold, smoky, harsh, intoxicating? Or lighter, sweeter, complex and rich? She smiled. She felt a need for wine this evening . Having decided, she viewed the prospects below.

As she watches, she feels the hunger grow within her. It throbs through her like her heart that no longer beats. It seduces her, giving her a keen edge, sharpening her senses, honing her need. It tickles her mind with memories of the taste, the dark taste as blood flows warm down her throat. She feels tingling in her nipples, her spine and in her most intimate place. It caresses her and moves her, causes her to want, to need, to feed.

Slipping down off the catwalk, she moves amongst the crowd. Quietly, unnoticed. She breathes in their rich scent and raw emotions, snacking upon it like an appetizer before her meal. She seeks. That one is sweet, but not ripe. That one is … pretty, but not the one. Then she sees her. The ripest, the juiciest of all.

_Desire._

She stands just a bit apart. She is tall, but not overly so. Her skin is lightly tanned. Her hair cascades past her shoulders, down her back in warm rich brown waves. Her lips are full but not pouty, her eyes a piercing blue. They scan the crowd, searching, seeking. She is hunting too. But , she is not one of the night. She lives, her blood runs rich and warms through her veins. Her heart pumps in a hypnotic tattoo. The huntress smiles. This one is hunting too, but not to feed. She is here to fill a more sensual, carnal desire.

She sits, watching her prey, enjoying the dance that has already started. She stares at her prey, her mind willing her to look, look, look this way. At first it seems as if this one will resist. She doesn't look towards the huntress. She keeps scanning the crowd, assessing, weighing, judging. She starts to move away, then stops. She turns, her fine profile moving, looking at the one who wants her. Her piercing eyes, blue as sky, seem to beam upon the one who waits. She smiles, and the huntress returns the smile. She moves off a little, as if almost teasing the huntress to follow. But she doesn't. She wants, no needs, the prey to come to her. She waits patiently as her chosen moves this way and that, as if sensing the trap. Finally, she turns, and walks directly towards her fate.

The woman stops, a few feet from the table, assessing the girl sitting there. She is young, has dark hair( or is that a wig?), cut short, the tips barely caressing the edge of her jaw. She is small; she can see that from her hands, and from her legs, which just touch the floor. She's a bit pale; but on her it works. Her skin is almost luminescent. _ I wonder if it feels soft to the touch?_ Her lips are red, in a soft bow shape. The kind she adores. The girl smiles at her, revealing small pearly white teeth. She just wishes she could see her eyes. But she can feel them raking over her, caressing her with a soft fire. She feels her body respond; her nipples harden, and she feels a warm moistness in her groin. She likes men and women, both have pleasure for her. But this one… this one could be more than a casual date.

Buffy watches as the woman moves the final few feet to the table. She leans over, and asks in a soft, almost smoky voice:

" Are you alone?" She almost thrusts her bosom in Buffy's face. Buffy suppresses a giggle.

" Not now," Buffy smiles, patting the seat next to her. The woman sits, smiling at her

" I'm sorry, this is kind of rude. I'm sure you're waiting for someone. But I'm kind of new here, and I thought…" She shrugs. " My names Corrine, by the way."

" Buffy, " Buffy smiles at her. " I thought I hadn't seen you here before."

" Do you come here a lot?" Corrine asks her.

"The Bronze? Oh yeah, it's pretty much the only cool place to hang in Sunny-D. Not much town here, I'm sure you noticed. Can't support two cool clubs, I guess."

Corrine laughs." Well, it is kind of small. I'm from L.A."

" Really? I'm originally from L.A. too," Buffy grins. " West side. You?"

" Me too. Santa Monica."

" No, I lived further down. Near Redondo Beach."

" Really? Did you go to Hemery, by chance?"

" Yeah, my first year of High School. Go Hurricanes, Rah!"

" Me too, " Corrine exclaims." Don't tell me you were a cheerleader!"

" Naw, just the pep squad. I left after my first year at Hemery. Mom moved here after the divorce."

" Oh. Sorry to hear that."

" Long time ago. I'm over it, " Buffy laughs. " So, I know why I'm here, but what brings you up from Big Bad L.A.?"

" I work for a consulting firm. We have a couple of clients up in these parts. No actual clients here in Sunnydale, but it was getting late, and I saw the sign on the highway, and I'd never been. So I figured, hey, why not. I could maybe pick up a client or two here." She shrugs. " Nothing so far, but hey. It's kinda neat, small town charm and all. And I get to write it off."

"Smart girl. " Buffy smiles at her.

" So, what do you do, Buffy?"

" A little of this, "Buffy shrugs, " A little of that…"

" Between jobs?" Corrine asks, sympathetically.

" Yeah…" Buffy admits, " But I'll find something soon. I always land on my feet."

" I bet you do, " Corrine flirts, just a little.

The band starts up a tune, and Buffy smiles.

"I love this song, " She says, " Would you like to dance?"

" Yeah, I'd like that a lot, " Corrine smiles at her.

They move to the dance floor, and from the first, Corrine is impressed with the way the smaller woman moves. She also can tell that Buffy is taking more than a casual interest in her. The smiles, the little touches at just the right moments pique Corrine's interest. As the first song fades, they move into the next. Buffy becomes more aggressive, moving her body against Corrine's , and Corrine definitely approves of the change. A small heat burns brighter in her, and she begins to return the hip bumps, the butt bumps, and the other intimacies. She's finding she wants Buffy to be more aggressive, more demanding, and almost as if she could read her thoughts, Buffy responds. By the end of the second dance, Corrine finds herself very warm, a little over stimulated, and is covered in a slight sheen of perspiration. She looks at Buffy, who seems as cool as ever.

" Whew, I'm feeling a little warm." Corrine says, fanning herself.

" Would you like to get some air?" Buffy asks. " It's a pretty night out."

" Yes, please. I could use some air."

Buffy takes her hand, and begins to lead her toward the back entrance.

" You have very cool hands," Corrine remarks.

" Well, you know what they say. Cool hands, warm heart."

" Buffy?"

" Yes?" Buffy stops.

" It's kind of dark in here, but you're wearing shades. Why?"

Buffy smile mischievously. " It adds to the mystery, don't you think?" She laughs softly," and, my eyes are a little sensitive to light."

" Still, I'd kind of like to see your eyes. If you don't mind?"

" Sure, " Buffy says softly. Still holding Corrine's hand, she removes her shades with the other. She smiles.

Corrine takes a deep breath. Buffy has the most beautiful eyes she's ever seen. A very light hazel, almost golden in color.

" You have such pretty eyes. It's a shame to hide them."

" I think your eyes are pretty too." Buffy touches her cheek.

Once outside the door, the women find themselves in each other's arms. They kiss, and their lips almost immediately part, each seeking the other 's tongue. The kiss lasts awhile, during which Corrine has pushed Buffy up against the wall.

" This is so not like me, " Corrine whispers, feeling a little breathless. " I'm usually not this bold."

" I'm glad," Buffy says, kissing her neck. Corrine shivers slightly from the sensuality of her kiss. " I wanted you since you sat down at the table."

" Really?" Corrine feels her heart beating faster. Her nipples are achingly hard. " God, I've never wanted anyone this badly," She breathes.

Buffy slips from under Corrine, and turns them around, with her pushing Corrine to the wall. She begins to tear at the buttons of Corrine's blouse with her teeth.

" oh my god," Corrine whispers as she feels the cool night air wash over her now bare breasts." Oh god, oh god, oh god," She moans as she feels Buffy's mouth surround one of her nipples. The moist heat in her groin builds as Buffy sucks and nips at her breasts.

" Ow,"

" Sorry, " Buffy smiles. " I got a little rough."

" No. I liked it. Do it again."

Buffy allows her fangs just pierce the skin of Corrine's breast, and this time she moans. She backs off, licking the little droplets of blood running from the wound._ Mmmm, she so sweet,_ Buffy thinks to herself, relishing her the taste.

" oh, god, that feels so incredible," Corrine's voice is a hoarse whisper. " Do it again. Please!"

Buffy moves to her other breast, and taking the nipple, pierces it lightly. Corrine moans loudly, and a small stream of blood flows down Buffy's throat. Buffy doesn't force it, just allowing it to trickle down.

" Oh god, I've never felt anything like that. What're you doing to me?"

Buffy doesn't answer. She moves down Corrine's body, lifting her skirt. She can smell her arousal, and feels her own heat building.

" Oh…yes, please… please" Corrine is helpless, wanting more, so much more.

Buffy slides her face close to Corrine's groin, pulling away the panties in one sharp tug. Her tongue slides along the soft folds of Corrine's sex. She tastes blood. _I knew there was a reason she caught my attention._

Corrine moans loudly, her hands coming down to press Buffy's face to her.

" Hey, you're having you're period, aren't you?" Buffy's voice is muffled somewhat.

" Yeah," Corrine replies breathily. " Is it grossing you out? You can stop…" _But please, don't!_

" Naw, it's _cool_," Buffy says, enthusiastically. She gets back to business.

Buffy teases and pleases her, her tongue lightly caressing her nether lips. She slips it between them, tasting her sweet honey. She's enjoying this. The taste of blood mixed with her cum is intoxicating. She moves up, and teases Corrine's hood. Her button, already gorging, pops out like a ripe fruit. Buffy takes it in her mouth and sucks it gently.

" OH god, Buffy. YESSSS. Oh, I think I love you! No one's ever made me feel… sooo… hot…"

Buffy smiles to herself. She teases her more, then starts getting serious. She slips her tongue in Corrine's sex, and laps at the mixture of tastes. Her fingers pinch and caress her button. Corrine's hips start to rock, and Buffy can sense her imminent orgasm. She pushes her harder and faster until she feels body stiffen, and her moans change into screams of release. Buffy seals her mouth over Corrine's sex, drinking deep her blood and fluids. _ I just love to make 'em scream_, she giggles to herself.

Corrine is almost limp against the wall. Her hair is damp, and despite the coolness of the night, she's covered in a fine sheen of sweat. Her blouse, still open, reveals her breasts are still dripping a little blood.

Buffy, coming up from under her skirt, leans over and laps at the drops of blood on her chest.

"Wow," Corrine says hoarsely, her face flushed and her eyes lidded. " That was … so intense. I've never done anything like that. " She starts to straighten up, and notices Buffy licking at the little drops of blood on her chest. " What are you?" She smiles, but is a little freaked by it. " Like a Goth girl or something?"

" You wouldn't believe me if I told you, " Buffy says. She vamps out and grabs Corrine, who screams. Buffy sinks her fangs into her neck.

Corrine feels a sharp pain, but strangely enough, she also feels an erotic pleasure. Her screams turns to moans and mewling as she feels the bonds of life slip away.

Buffy feeds greedily, enjoying the rich taste of her blood. It's all the sweeter because of the hormones racing through her blood. Corrine's body goes limp, and she slips to the ground, Buffy easing her down until she is crouching over her, draining the last drop from her.. Finished, she looks up, her lips and chin covered with the dark crimson of blood. She licks them, savoring the taste.

" Good to the last drop, baby," Buffy addresses the corpse. " Aw, don't worry. You're death isn't meaningless. We still got stuff to do tonight." She lifts the body and tosses it over her shoulder like a sack.

" No rest for the wicked," She chortles.

She carries the body off into the night.

2

" Shit!"

Faith lies restlessly in the hospital bed, cursing everything and everyone she can think of.

She closes her eyes , shutting out the over white walls and too bright lights that remind her where she is. But she can escape neither the incessant beep whirr beep of the machines in the room nor the smell of Pine-sol covering the odors of death and sickness.

It's been two days since Buffy played punching bag with her, and her slayer healing has kicked in. She's mostly herself, the bruises on her face faded; her ribs mended, no longer feeling like someone is blowtorching her lungs every time she takes a breath. The better she feels, the shorter her fuse becomes.

She threw out the others when they came to visit. She was in no mood to talk, no mood for sympathy, no mood for them hanging around staring at her. She was in no mood to be lying around in bed, feeling like somebody's punching dummy.

She was in no mood for anything. Except for driving a stake deep into Buffy's heart.

She was pissed. Mostly, at herself.

_'K, stupid. How long does it take you to put this together? You see Buffy, fight her, and then stake her. Simple as that. Don't give a crap about the rest. Do your job! And ya know, fuck this crap. Tired of this place, and getting my ass outta here. _

Throwing off the covers, she sits up. Swinging her feet over the side of her bed, she starts to get up when she feels the tug of the IV tube in her arm. Impatiently, she pulls it out, and looks around.

" Ok, bozos, where's my clothes?" She sees a clothing rack up against the wall, her clothes hanging on it. "Score," She says. Grabbing her clothes, she heads for the bathroom, shutting the door after.

She almost makes a clean getaway. Almost.

Just after she enters the bathroom, the door to her room opens, and Willow sticks in her head.

" Hey, " She says. Noticing the empty bed with the IV tube disconnected, she enters the room. Looking at the rack, she notices Faith's clothes missing. " Hey! What's going on here?"

Faith, half dressed, emerges from the bathroom. She looks up and sees Willow staring at her.

" Geeze, Red!" She almost yells. " Warn a girl when you're gonna appear like that, ok? Wanna give me a heart attack?"

" What're you doing?" Willow grills her.

" Getting dressed, Aint it obvious? "

" Yeah, it's obvious, " Willow says impatiently, " but why? You're not supposed to leave 'til morning."

" And how would you know that, Ms. Snoopy?" Faith pulls on her shirt, starting to button it.

" I asked at the nursing station before coming in."

" Whatever." Faith shrugs, "What're you doing here anyway? Didn't I make it clear about not interested in company?"

" I was here anyway. Hey, this isn't about me, it's about you! Why're getting dressed. You're _not_ supposed to leave. Get back in bed."

Faith cocks her head and grins.

" You gonna make me, Red?"

" Uh, no cuz you'd beat me up. But I'll call a nurse. And security."

" And you think _they're _ gonna make me, if I don't wanna?" Faith looks around. " Hey, where're my boots?" She goes over to the clothing rack, and looks around. " Where the hell are my boots?"

Willow grins. " They keep them until it's check-out time. Just so people can't… oh, get up and leave."

"Swell. I'll just go and have a little chat with the nurse about my boots, then," She walks towards the door.

" They won't give them to you, Faith."

" Whatever, I'll walk out of here without them then. I got another pair back at … well, in my bag… at Giles' I guess."

" Faith, why're you being so stubborn? It's only another night."

" Another night without a slayer in the field, right? Another night that Ms. Insane-o cheerleader vampire can go around killing people, right? This is the Hellmouth, Willow. The bad guys are not taking the night off."

" We've been patrolling the last three nights. Nothing's been happening, it's quiet. So get back to bed, and you can leave in the morning."

" Not happening, Red," Faith says, over at the dresser, looking in the drawers for some socks. " Damn, no socks either. Oh well, feet just gotta get cold, I guess. " She looks up, seeing Willow glaring at her. " You still here? Why _are _you here again?"

" I told you, I was here anyway. I just looked in to see how you were doing. Good thing, considering."

" Hey, doing great, can't you tell? So take off now. Report back to Giles that Faith's being a bad girl. Do whatever you want but get out, " Faith sits on the bed, wondering how she's going to get her boots back. " Wait a minute. Here anyway? What's that about?"

" I was upstairs, visiting Tara."

" Tara. Tara, Wait I know this one, " Faith tries to recall the name. " Oh yeah, that blonde chick you were with at the Bronze when… ummm… I was test driving Buffy. You still with her?" Faith nods, " I guess it wasn't just a phase, huh?"

" No," Willow says quietly, " not a phase."

" Well, cool beans. So, what? Does she like work here?"

" No, doesn't work here, " Willow says in a monotone.

" Oh, she's sick? Well, send her my best. Would drop by, but got places to go, vampires to kill." She starts towards the door, ready to leave. " You comin? I'm pretty sure they'll be wanting to use this room again." She notices Willow seems to be lost somewhere that's not here. " It's not serious, is it. I mean, with Tara? She's gonna be alright, right?" She walks over to Willow. " She's not going to die or anything, is she?"

" Die? No, not die, " Willow says, flatly.

" Ok then. She gets better, you take her home, party, " Faith says.

" She's not going to get better, " Willow seems to be telling herself this more than Faith. " Maybe, never."

"Wait, Red. That's not making a whole lotta sense. What're you talking about?"

Willow, in flat, disconnected tones, explains what happened with Glory, Dawn, Buffy and Tara. By the end, Faith looks more confused than when it began.

" Ok, wait a minute. You're telling me that Buffy had a sister, who wasn't her sister but some kind of energy ball that opened the dimensions to hell, and that some Hell goddess named Glory wanted her? And that Tara, you're girlfriend got brain sucked by this Glory chick, and Dawn like … this is something out of a novel, girl. What drugs are you taking?"

" Not funny, Faith. Not funny at all, " Willow says quietly.

" Hey, sorry, but it kinda is sudden, you know? I never heard this before. So… you're girlfriend, Tara is like… ?"

" She doesn't know me. She doesn't know herself, or anyone, ok?" Willow snaps at her. "She can't remember anything. She doesn't talk most of the time, and when she does, it's gibberish. No one can help her. I've tried. For the last 2 years I've been trying to find a way to reach her, but I'm thinking there isn't a way. She just sits and stares, trapped in some prison in her mind, and I've got to watch her. I come every day, hoping that today, she'll see me. She'll know me. I even kid myself sometimes, that she sees me… knows I'm there, looks for me. But it's just kidding myself, you know? She can't. She never will. And each day she's gone, it's another day we don't have each other. It's another day I get to die a little more, because I love her and I hate her and I can't live without her!"

Willow, who's been hoping for so long, has lost hope. She breaks down, and starts to sob.

Faith, who's unused to this, stands awkwardly, watching her. She walks over, and pats her back.

" There, there. There ,there." She says, not know what to say. She's not used to giving or receiving comfort.

Willow tries to collect herself. She sits up, and starts rubbing the tears away with her hands. Faith walks over and gets the box of tissues on the nightstand, handing them to Willow.

" It's not fair, you know, " Willow says, wiping her eyes with a tissue. " She was innocent. She shouldn't have been there. She wouldn't have been there, if we hadn't fought that day. But she was alone at the fair, vulnerable, and Glory just took her. Took her. She stole her from me, and I'm never gonna get her back. It's not fair." She blows her nose, " First Jesse, then Kendra, then Tara and Dawn and… now Buffy. Gone. And you want to go out there, injured, and get yourself killed too." She looks up at Faith. " Hasn't there been enough? I'm tired of losing people. Don't you get it? Can't you just wait at least one more day before you get dead, too?" She turns away, looking down at the floor.

" I'm not gonna get dead, " Faith sits by her. " Red, look at me." Willow still looks at the floor." Willow, look at me." Willow looks up, " Not gonna die, ok? Buffy got the drop on me, because I was stupid. I let my guard down, and she got me. Not gonna happen again. So don't sweat it. I'm gonna find her, and then we'll settle this."

"Settle this," Willow looks away." You mean, stake her."

" No, I thought we'd have tea and cookies. Wait, that didn't work out last time," Faith's tone is harsh.

" Sarcasm isn't helping, Faith."

" You're right. It isn't. Neither is sitting here talking about it, when … she's out there."

" So, you're plan is no plan then. We just rush blindly into it, and beat it into the ground, " Willow nods." Yup, that's gonna work."

"Sarcasm isn't helping, Red," Faith mocks her.

" Neither is using your fists to think with," Willow mocks her back." Buffy's not dumb. She's been a slayer for … a long time. A lot longer than _you_ Faith. This is not some dumb monster we're going after. We can't go in without some kind of plan!"

" Fine. We'll all sit around, talk strategy. Then, I'll go out and finish this, " Faith says. She throws up her hands. " I just hope one of you don't get dead first."

" What're you talking about?"

" She's not coming after me. She wants to hurt me by coming after you guys. Guess you weren't listening when I told you guys that before."

" Was that before or after you threw us out?"

Faith doesn't reply to that. She just rolls her eyes. She gets up and walks to the door. " Coming?"

" You mean now?" Willow asks her.

" No, next week. If we gotta talk about this, then it's now." She starts to walk out the door.

Willow reaches under the bed, recovering Faith's boots. " Don't you want these?"

Faith turns around, seeing Willow holding her boots. She throws her a dirty look.

" You had them all the time?" She mutters.

" Uh-huh. I'm not stupid, either." Willow hands the boots to Faith." The socks are inside. Oh, and whoever heard of a hospital taking your shoes?" She laughs, walking past Faith.

" I hate you," Faith grumbles, " I really hate you."

" Mutual," Willow rejoins.

3

" What the hell?"

As Faith and Willow pull up to Giles' building, they see four police cars blocking the street. The lights are flashing, and there are like a dozen officers milling around. The sounds of two way radios and hushed conversations break the night. As they get closer, they see that a coroner's wagon is also present.

Almost before Willow can park the car, Faith is out the door, running towards the building. Willow hops out, shaking her head.

"God, doesn't she ever think before she just rushes in?" Willow murmurs to herself. She follows behind Faith, a little more cautiously.

When she catches up, she sees Faith talking vehemently to two officers, gesticulating animatedly. They are blocking her access to the building.

" … don't you get it? I got to get in there. I have a friend in there, he might be hurt!" Faith tries to duck around the officers, but they aren't budging.

" Miss, I'm sorry. But this is a crime scene. No one gets in there without permission from the Detective in charge."

A voice calls up from the stairway. " Are you Faith?"

" Yeah," Faith replies. " Faith, that's me."

" Let her through, officer, " Lt. Detective Jack Thomas says.

The two officers part to allow Faith through. When Willow attempts to follow, they close rank again.

" Faith!" Willow calls out.

" She's with me," Faith says to the detective.

" She's ok. Let her in." He barks.

" What's the deal?" Faith asks, as Willow joins them. " What's going on here?"

" We were hoping you could tell us, " Det. Thomas replies cryptically.

" Ummm… I just got here…"

" Giles, Mr. Giles. Is he ok?" Willow asks.

" Tall guy, sounds like he escaped from an English movie?"

" Yeah, that's Giles," Faith nods.

" He's fine."

" What about Angel?" Faith asks, a little anxiously.

" Walking GQ ad?" The officer looks amused.

" That's him."

" Also fine," He replies. " Wish I could say that about the other one."

"Other one?" Willow and Faith look at each other.

" Yeah, the body, " Det. Thomas says.

They reach the lower courtyard leading to Giles' door. Several more police, along with some people from the coroner's office are about, blocking view of Giles' apartment. Giles and Angel are off to one side, seemingly having a discussion.

" This is rather bad, " Giles says, looking again at the crime scene.

" Rather understating it, don't you think, Rupert, " Angel looks worried. " I think Buffy just threw down the gauntlet."

" Yes. She seems to have developed a macabre sense of humor."

" She's taunting Faith. Trying to shake her up."

" Oh? Where do you think she got that idea from?" Giles looks pointedly at Angel. He sighs. " That's not the important thing now, however. How do we tell Faith?"

" Tell me what, guys?" Faith interrupts, coming up to them.

" Faith!" Startled, Giles moves to block Faith's view.

" You're supposed to be in the hospital, Faith," Angel says, frowning. " Why're you here?" Like Giles, he moves to block Faith's view of the scene.

" I was feeling better, " Faith shrugs, " I got itchy. So I got out." She notices the movements, and moves to push between them. " What's going on here? What happened? The detective said something about a body? And, how did he know my name?"

Angel and Giles look at each other.

" Faith, I think maybe right now you shouldn't worry about this, " Angel says, taking her arm, attempting to turn her around. " You're still …"

" I agree, " Giles moves to Faith. She ducks him and shakes off Angel.

" Hold on. Something's up." She pushes them aside, " If my name's being tossed around with this…"

She stops, mouth open, staring at the scene. Her face goes pale.

The body of a young woman has been placed at Giles' door. It appears to have been posed in a sitting position, the arms up in a supplicant's prayer. The chest has been torn open, and the heart is missing. It's been nailed to Giles' door, with a legend over it, written in blood.

_**I just don't feel your heart's in it, Faith.**_

" Geeze, " Faith whispers, feeling her stomach clutch.

" Hey guys, what's going on?" Willow comes up to the group.

" Red, no, don't look, " Faith turns around trying to stop her from seeing.

" Willow , I think you should wait…"

" Willow, this is not a good time…"

It's too late. Willow sees the body, and her eyes go wide. She pales, then turns around, running over and being sick in the bushes. Giles goes over to her.

As Faith is staring at the body, Detective Thomas comes up and stands next to her.

" Pretty gruesome, " he remarks.

Faith nods, not trusting her voice.

" All homicide is pretty gruesome. You'd know that, wouldn't you?" He asks.

" I'm sorry?"

" I saw the name over the body, " The detective points at the door, " and I thought it sounded familiar. There was an alert issued on you, Faith. Seems you were paroled into the custody of one Mr. Rupert Giles. Who, coincidentally, lives there." He turns to her, " I did some checking. Seems you were convicted of second degree murder. Some powerful strings had to be pulled to get you released early." He nods, turning back to the scene." So I've got to wonder who might have that kind of pull, and if you know if they had anything to do with this?"

" I don't know nothing. I just got here."

" That's true, Officer, " Giles puts in, coming over, " she's been in the hospital for the last few days."

" I see," The detective takes out his notebook. " Why would that be?"

" I was…" Faith stops, seeing Giles' look. " … I had an accident."

" Really?" He looks at his notes. " According to the hospital, you had multiple lacerations and trauma. They suspected you were beaten. Or mugged."

Faith shrugs. " Go figure."

The detective looks at her carefully, " You don't look that bad, considering."

" I heal fast."

" So, you have no idea who might have beaten you then?"

" I told you, I had an accident." Faith repeats.

" Mmmm-hmmm" He looks at the crime scene again. " And you have no idea who might have done this?"

" No sir. Not a clue."

" When did you get out of the hospital again?"

" Less than an hour ago."

" I was with her when she checked out, Officer, " Willow comes over, looking a bit green around the gills." I drove her over here."

" I see. And your name?"

" Willow. Willow Rosenberg."

" And you can say for a fact that Faith was in the hospital this evening?"

" Yes sir. I've been with her for the last couple of hours. Visiting, helping her to get ready to leave."

He looks them over, one by one. His expression says he's not satisfied.

" I don't believe you're telling me everything, " he says at last. " I have a gut feeling you're hiding something. But I have no proof, so for now, you are free to leave."

The four of them, as a group, head for the stairs.

" I am however, going to keep my eye on you all. Especially you, Faith. Do I need to say, please don't leave town?"

Faith shakes her head.

"Good then." He turns away, and goes to talk to one of the Coroner's men.

They walk as a group to Willow's car. No one says a word until they've pulled away from the scene.

" Well, that was fun," Faith says with a touch of gallows humor.

" Not funny, Faith, " Angel says.

" Yeah, maybe."

" What are you doing out of the hospital? You weren't due to be released until tomorrow." Giles asks.

" I missed you guys, " Faith says, dryly. " So I thought I'd cut out early, and we'd party. Seems I got there late."

"Again with the not funny, " Willow puts in.

" Well, it's that or I start barfing in the car, Red." Faith looks grimly out the windshield.

Willow goes very quiet.

" So, does anyone in this car need any more proof that Buffy is no longer Ms. Sweetness and Light?"

Faith's remark is greeted by silence.

" Thought not, " She leans back in the seat. " So, where we gonna hold the big pow-wow now? I think Giles' place is out for now."

" I guess we could meet at my place, " Willow says quietly, still a little in shock.

Faith looks at her out of the corner of her eye, and sees how pale and drawn she looks.

" You gonna be ok, Red?"

" Yes," she says quickly. She sighs, then goes on. " No, I don't think so."

" Good, you're honest about it, at least." She addresses the rest to everyone, " So, I guess we call in the troops when we get there?"

" Tonight?" Giles asks, " do you think that's wise? You've just gotten out of the hospital."

" I don't think we got any more time to waste, Giles." She shakes her head. " though this is just a big waste of time, as I see it."

"I'm sorry?" Giles sounds perturbed.

" Look, we can sit around from now til forever, and talk about it. But when it comes down to it, we know what's gotta be done."

" There might be alternatives, you know, " Willow puts in.

" Yeah, well, I'm sure that'll all come up at the meeting, " Faith says, sounding unconvinced.

" You just want to kill her!" Willow blurts out. " You've always had it in for her."

" Red, get this through your head. Last time. That's not her." Faith's lips tighten noticeably. " Thinking that… thing is her, is gonna get you, or someone else, killed."

Willow, upset, doesn't say another word, and the rest of the trip is in silence.

No one wants to say what has to be done.

4

" It can't be done," Anya says dismissively," simple as that." She shrugs as if to say, arguing is useless.

" What makes you an expert, Anya?" Willow replies, irritated." As I recall, you needed _me_ to help you with a simple retrieval spell."

" I was new at being human, and I was disoriented. As I remember, that little spell of yours didn't go so well. Kind of like your track record with spells."

Willow gives her a look that even rocks the ex-vengeance demon back on her heels.

" Ok, no need to get hostile about it."

" Will, " Xander puts his hand on Willow's shoulder, " maybe we should step back, and think about it awhile."

" Right, take _her_ side, Xander. I don't care if she's an 1100 year old vengeance demon, she doesn't know everything."

" I know this, " Anya says, " I know that the restoration spell was written for Angel. It's very specific as to its target. And since Angel still has his soul… don't see the point."

" We could adapt it!" Willow says, " I'm sure between Amy and I…"

" I don't know about that, Willow, " Amy puts up a hand. " This magic… is very gray area stuff. A misplaced word, leaving something out, could have some strange results. Results like I don't think you're looking for."

" Giles!" Willow appeals to her last hope.

Giles cleans his glasses.

" I'm sorry, Willow, but much as it pains me, I have to agree with Anya in this instance. The spell of Restoration for Angel is very specific in it's scope and content. Without the transliteration annals of the rituals for the dead, there's no telling what effect the curse would have on Buffy. It might cure her; on the other hand, it might make things worse."

" So you're saying there's no hope then?" Willow doesn't sound like she's ready to accept that.

" Well, FINALLY, someone is saying it, " Faith, from the corner of the room, interrupts.

" Faith!"

" No, I'm sorry, but I've been listening to this crap for the last hour, and frankly, it's a load. All of it." She turns to Joyce, who's sitting a little away from the group, hands clenched in her lap, looking at the floor." Joyce, I'm sorry, but facts are facts. I know why you did what you did, and having some time to think about it, " She rubs her jaw, which is still tender, " I get it. You were just trying to protect your daughter. Thing is, that thing isn't your daughter. I'm sorry, but it's playing you, and it nearly got me…" She stops, shaking her head, " Get it clear, all of you. Buffy is gone. Whatever that is in her body? Isn't her. You can talk all the mystical hoodoo- voodoo crap you want. But end of the day, there's only one way to stop the killing."

" From the mouths of killers. " Xander grumbles, giving her a look.

" Yeah, Xander, I was a killer, ok? I know that. I also know I've changed. I have a soul, and I can change. Not easy, and baby, it never goes away, what you've done. But you atone for it. Buffy… or that thing pretending to be your friend? Isn't going to change. It has no soul. It's a monster, a killer. That's its purpose. That's what it does. It can't ever change…" She looks at Angel, and grins ruefully, " Ok, once, but you all just said, that spell was written for him. Alone. I don't need you monkeying around with magic to just make things worse." Her voice lowers, " it's gonna be hard enough, as is."

" So, we just give up on her, Faith?" Willow shakes her head. " No, I won't. She's my friend. She was _our _friend. What happened to her wasn't her fault. I won't just give up on her. "

" Yeah, " Faith says with an edge of acrimony," I betcha if that were me out there, instead of her, there wouldn't be any discussion about restoring nothing. Break out the stakes and torches, Faith's back , and she's a vampire."

" That's harsh, don't you think?" Angel asks her.

" Is it, Angel? Look at them. Look at their expressions. They don't like me, " She nods, " and ok, I can respect that. They hate me, and well, so? Not going to lose sleep over it. Matter of fact, they can hate me for the rest of their lives, you know? Don't care, as long as they have long, happy lives with lots of fat grandchildren around them to hate me with." She looks around the group, " I'm done here. You know where I stand. Go ahead and do all your plotting and crap, and get back with me, ok?" She starts to walk out of the room, " but when it all goes to hell, I'm gonna stake her." Faith leaves.

" Faith, wait…" Angel says. He starts out after her.

" Well, the murder squad is leaving, good on that, " Xander cracks.

Angel stops. He turns around and comes over to Xander. " You know something, Harris? You should try growing up. Get over the fact that she boinked you and tossed you away, already. You're pathetic."

" She tried to kill me, moron," Xander pushes him away, " or did you forget that one?"

" And I saved you from being a dead jackass, if you remember, Harris. It was your massive ego, thinking you could ' win over' Faith, that nearly got you killed," Angel glares at him. " Seems I heard you're the eyes of the group, you see everything. Well, try opening your eyes and seeing she's changed." He turns, and follows Faith out.

" Well, that was helpful, Xander, " Willow says, arms crossed.

" What? What?" He looks around for support, " do only the mass murderers get an opinion around here?"

" Opinion? Or are you just venting you're spleen, Xander?"

" I was sticking up for you, Will. Faith pretty much was calling you a fool."

" Xander? I can stick up for myself. Don't help!" she turns away, " We've got more important things to do."

" When did you join the Faith Fan club, Will?" He walks over to her, " What's the deal? All of a sudden you're all don't pick on Faith, but I can't believe you weren't thinking right along what I said!"

Willow looks at Xander and frowns. " You know something, Xan? Angel was right. Grow up."

"What!"

" Back when it mattered, you treated me pretty shabbily, Xander Harris. You did things that hurt me a lot… a LOT. You never saw me as anything but your side kick. You're buddy-who's-a-girl. You never even got that I had feelings for you. You went after Buffy, then made out with Cordelia. But the worst? Was that you would sleep… with her…" Willow points in the direction Faith went, " … even when you had a clue as to how I felt. I pretended it didn't hurt, but it did. Thing is? I grew up, and got over it. You're still stuck in high school Xander. Get over it! We don't have time for the petty crap anymore."

Xander grumbles, but subsides.

" Ok, then. We still have to figure out what we're going to do, " Willow turns to the whole group. " Giles, is there any way to research the Restoration Spell? I don't want to give up on that. This is…was our friend… we have to …"

" Guys?" Amy speaks up, " I'm thinking there might be another way."

---

" … there's no other way," Faith repeats to herself, almost like a mantra, as she idly kicks at a post on the front porch.

"It's sorry."

Faith looks up, and sees Angel standing close by. She frowns at him, perplexed.

" What?"

" The post. It's sorry. It wants to give up now."

Faith shakes her head, and can't help a small self deprecating laugh. She leans against the post.

" Ok, Angel. Why're you out here? Am I in for another " You really should try to get along better" speech?"

" Yeah, a lecture on being social from the guy who likes to sit alone in the dark and brood? I don't think so, Faith. I just came out to get some air. It was kind of getting thick in there," His tone softens, " You ok?"

" You mean, am I gonna go out now and kill a couple of people to work off the stress? Naw, don't think so. Been there, done that, have the t-shirt." She laughs darkly, " anyway, prison blues? Just not my color."

" Faith, I really wanted to know if you're ok. You look a bit frazzled."

" Sorry I didn't have time to primp for our little soiree. Guess I forgot the Cover Girl back at…" She looks up and sees Angel's expression, and slumps, "… sorry. This whole week's got me freaked. First the welcoming committee, then Buffy using me as a punching bag, then that body tonight. And now they're talking like they can make it all good again using some magic mojo to restore her soul…" She looks up at him, " do they even get what this is doing to you? How much this is tearing you apart?"

" Doesn't matter, Faith, " Angel says brusquely," we've got to deal with this, whether we can bring her back or not. We can't let her go on killing…"

" But it wouldn't break your heart if they could pull it off."

" I don't know, Faith." Angel sighs, " thing is, I'm not sure I'd wish this on Buffy. I love… loved her, Faith. You know what she's like. Can you see her loving the darkness? Living out of the sun, brooding about her crimes. Buffy and deep thoughts… that alone is almost an antithetical …"

" Huh?"

" Polar opposites."

" Oh," Faith chuckles briefly." Still, wouldn't you want her…"

" Not like that. I mean, I wouldn't want her to live through the pain. I'd rather she … I'd rather you staked her, frankly."

" Angel," She says softly, holding his arm.

" She's already gone, Faith. They don't get that. She wouldn't be the same, even with a soul. I'm not the guy I was when I died… not now."

" Yeah, you're not a drunken, womanizing lout. You're right, what a disappointment."

" It's not the same, Faith. The light… that thing that … I loved about her… would be gone. She couldn't have a normal life, any hope of that would be gone… hope would be gone. I wouldn't want my curse for her…" he smiles ruefully, " the worst is the loneliness, Faith. You can't ever give yourself to anyone. You still feel the emotions, the feelings, and you can't act on them… because you know what'll happen if you do… and all the time the demon is down there, urging you on, because it knows if you slip… it'll be free. No. It's worse than death, Faith."

Instinctively, she hugs him, sensing his need. While holding him, something in herself breaks, and the tears start to flow down her cheeks. She doesn't cry, or sob, just tears.

"I'm really scared, Angel." She says, quietly.

" Faith?" He looks at her face, and feels a sinking in his stomach, " Faith?" he repeats.

" I didn't tell you everything that happened that night."

" What do you mean?"

" When Buffy caught me, she didn't go right in and start using me as a punching bag."

" I don't get it."

" She wanted to make a deal. If I didn't get in her way, she wouldn't get in mine."

" You can't make deals with vampires, Faith. They lie."

" No shit? I didn't take the deal. You think she gave me the love taps because I did?"

"Ok, sorry. So you didn't take the deal. That's good."

" That's not it, " Faith says, " after that, she tried to seduce me…" Faith looks away.

" Excuse me?"

" We're not teenagers here, Angel. You know what seduce means, " Faith sighs, " the thing is Angel, I wanted it."

Angel's expression becomes solemn.

" Not for a long time, but for a minute there, I saw what she was offering me. The freedom from guilt, the power, the darkness. I saw it, and I wanted it. Wanted it more than anything, " a sly little grin comes on her face, " and I have to admit, what she was doing was turning me on…"

" Faith, " Angel coughs, a little embarrassed.

" Don't get all 18th century on me, Angel. You know this kinda thing happens, " Faith sighs. " Thing is, what scared me is my wanting it so badly, Angel. I almost said yes. I wanted her to do it. I think it was only the fact it was Buffy, and she annoyed the hell out of me by being so … Buffy… that I just rebelled. But …" She looks bleak.

Angel hugs her, pulling her close. " The thing is, you didn't, Faith. You didn't give in."

" What about next time, Angel?" Faith looks up at him, " I'm so fucking weak. This being good crap? Really hurts. I might not be so strong next time…"

" Worry about next time, next time, " Angel says quietly, " I've been doing this for 100 years, Faith, and it's not any easier. One crisis at a time, Faith, that's all you can do. One step at a time."

" This sucks."

"Ahem."

Angel and Faith pull apart, seeing Giles standing on the porch, looking at them. The only clue to his thoughts is a slightly arched eyebrow.

" We need to see you two inside. We may have found a way to save Buffy." He turns and walks inside.

Angel and Faith look at each other, a little confused, and follow him in.

---

Buffy, sitting on the roof overhead, chuckles quietly to herself. " So, Angel, honey. You'd rather see me dead? Now, that really hurt my feelings. Yeah. I guess before this is all over, I'm just gonna have to find a stake with your name on it."

She starts to giggle, but stops when she hears something. Climbing quietly over the roof, she looks down into the backyard.

"Well, this just gets better and better. Xander and Anya in the backyard. And look at those lovebirds go at it. Hmmm… maybe I should go take a closer look…"

Buffy climbs down the roof, getting close to the edge. She listens quietly.

" I'm glad we got out of there, " Xander says as they break the kiss, " all that magic stuff starts to give me the wiggins."

" That's rather odd, Xander, considering you fight demons and vampires as a hobby, " Anya says," I'd think by now you'd be used to it, especially since your best friend is a witch."

"Ever since I had Amy cast that love spell over Cordelia… I've been really freaked by magic," Xander shudders at the memory.

" Oh yeah, where every woman in Sunnydale had the hots for you? Oh, that must've been just terrible, Xander, you poor boy!" Anya teases him.

" Hey, half of them wanted to kill me. Even Buffy, when I rejected her, wanted…"

" Buffy! It always comes back to Buffy. Geeze, Xander, she's like an obsession with you. Buffy this, Buffy that. You even want to quit fighting, now that Buffy's a vampire. I'm thinking you don't really want to take care of this at all!"

" Anya, of course I do! Where did this come from?" Xander moves over, putting his arms around her, " You know I only love you, honey. And I don't need a love spell for that!"

" Isn't that just like a guy? You change a little tiny bit, and all of a sudden, they aren't interested anymore!"

Anya and Xander look up at the roof, wide-eyed and stunned. In a flash, Buffy leaps down and is in front of them.

" Hi, guys!"

---

" Exorcism?" Angel looks at the others like they've gone mad.

" Ok, explain this. How do we think pulling a Linda Blair is going to help restore Buffy? In simple phrases for the not- a -Wicca crowd, " Faith adds.

" We're not entirely sure it will help Buffy, " Giles admits, " I'll have to do some research, see if it's even possible. But Amy reminded us that a slayer is more than human. She has the essence of a demon in her…"

" And you guys wondered why I went bad?" Faith cracks.

" Faith, please, this is serious, " Giles admonishes her, " The slayer has the essence of a demon placed in her by the original watchers, as a way to fight off the demons and vampires. To give her , well, her power. What if, however, it's more than the essence, as Amy surmised, it's an actual separate entity within the slayer. That passes from slayer to slayer as one dies…"

"Whoa up, Giles. I'm seeing a truck size hole in your theory…" Faith interrupts. " If that's the case, once Buffy died when fighting the Master, and Kendra was activated, Buffy should've been back to shaking pom poms for a living…"

" I thought of that, too. But what if the essence from Slayer A doesn't so much pass to Slayer B, but rather, just activate the potential demon essence already within the slayers? That would explain why there could be two slayers at once, which has never happened before. But then, a slayer has never been brought back from death before."

" But if her demon essence passed on, she wouldn't be a slayer anymore."

" Normally, I'd agree. But the way she died, and was brought back to life , was like a rebirth. And I suspect, that also meant a rebirth of the demon inside. Already being active, it continued."

" Kinda shaky, Giles, " Faith says.

" Possibly, but I can't account for the possibility of two slayers any other way, " Giles muses, " With the right spell, it would be I suppose, possible to activate every potential in this generation. An army of Slayers."

" Ok, now that's just … weird. One slayer, two slayers… that's freaky-deaky enough. A slayer nation?" Faith shudders." But ok, Monty, I'll play. Let's say your right. What's this got to do with saving Buffy?"

" Awhile back, we fought a demon called Toth. It had a device that would split a person into two. That is, there was two of the person, each taking on different aspects of the person. It was going for Buffy, because it wanted to split her into two, one part a completely human Buffy, the other the essence of the slayer. By killing the human Buffy, it would destroy both."

" Ok… and?"

" That leads me to think that possibly, when Buffy was turned, the Slayer portion of her was turned. The demon in her was corrupted, and made a vampire. It being a dominant part of her, being the slayer, it manifested as the vampire, overwhelming her human self. Buffy, the human Buffy, is in there somewhere. She's just being controlled by the corrupted demon slayer essence. If we could find a way to exorcise the demon…"

" I get it. The human Buffy would emerge. A little shaken, probably needing a drink, but not a vampire, " Faith nods, as if understanding, " That sounds… nuts."

" Rupert, that's all very good, but what about her soul?" Angel says, " I've never heard of any being having two souls."

" Slayers are hardly what you call a ' natural' being, Angel. They were created by magic, a duality in one physical form. I suspect the demon and the person have separate souls within the body."

Angel shakes his head. " I think you're wrong."

" What if we're right though?" Willow asks, speaking up for the first time, " is it right to kill Buffy if she's still alive in there, because her demon self went… evil? Do we just turn our back on her after all the good she's done?"

"And if you're wrong?" Angel asks.

" If they're wrong, if she's still a vamp, I stake her."

" Wait a minute…" Willow starts to protest.

" No, no wait a minute. I shouldn't even be taking this deal. But I'll give you a chance. That's fair. Go ahead, do you're little Scooby thing and figure out how to exorcise her. I'll give you that. But she stays bound until after the whatever you're gonna do is done, and then, if she's still of the pointy tooth crowd, if this doesn't cure her, she's dust. Take it or leave it, that's the deal." She looks around. " Any questions?"

She's greeted with silence.

" I'm taking that as a yes, then. So, get to it, whatever you're going to do. Incentive? If you remember, she's coming after you guys first…" She gives them a hard look. " And she's not kidding."

" Very well, then," Giles speaks up, " Amy and Willow? I want you to look into exorcisms. There are a lot of different rites. Check them out, see what might best fit the situation. Xander, I'll need you to… Xander?" Giles looks around , " Where is Xander? I know he was here earlier…"

" He…uhhh… well, after the little discussion he and Faith had earlier, he thought it best to be elsewhere until everything was settled in here. He and Anya went out back, " Willow moves towards the kitchen, " I'll go get him." She exits through the kitchen door.

" What? Did he think I was gonna come in here and hit him or something?" Faith looks a little insulted.

" You have to admit, Faith, sometimes you're a little less than diplomatic, " Giles puts in.

" Yeah, well, sometimes subtle doesn't work when you're trying to get through…"

They hear a scream from the back. Willow's scream!

Even before the other's react, she's running towards the kitchen. She's the first out the back door, and almost run directly into Willow.

Willow is staring at the edge of the porch, where a swing is set up. On it is sitting Xander and Anya. At first glance, they appear to be in a lover's embrace. Until you see the blood trickling down their necks.

Faith's stomach turns over.

" Go back in the house, Red," She says brusquely.

Willow just stands there, staring. She acts as if she doesn't hear her.

The others spill out of the house.

" What's going on?"

" Are you alright, Willow?"

" Oh, good lord!"

" Take Red back in the house, now!" Faith barks. " all of you, back inside!"

Giles , accompanied by Amy, surround Willow and usher back in the house. Faith starts towards the swing. She notices Angel moving with her.

" You too, Angel, back inside!"

" She's gone, Faith. "

" I guess, I can't sense a presence, except you." Faith sighs. " Dammit."

She walks over, and looks at the bodies. She almost loses it when she realizes Buffy didn't only kill them, but took the time to arrange them so it looked like they were making out on the swing. The creep factor made her want to vomit.

It got worse. On the wall, Buffy had left another message:

_**Xander and Anya, sitting on a swing**_

_**K-I-S-S-I-N-G**_

_**Two down. Ready to play?**_

" Why is she doing this?" Faith growls softly.

" She's trying to shake you, Faith. Get you to act before you're ready, don't do it. Don't let her get to you."

Faith turns to him, her face a mask of cold fury. Her lips are tight and her eyes narrowed. The only fire you see is in her eyes.

" Too late, Angel. Way too late."

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 3

Summary: Alternate Buffyverse. Suppose Buffy didn't win one of those fights? And some Vampire with a wicked sense of humor decided to change things forever?

Pairings: They vary. Nothing is forever. Is it?

Disclaimer: The characters depicted in this story are the intellectual property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. All rights reserved by the owners. I'm just using them in the story and not making anything on it. The story is mine.

1

" Too late, Angel. Way too late!"

Faith starts to push Angel back, out of her way. She's tired of the waiting game. _Everybody wants me to wait around 'til they're ready. When's that gonna be? Never!_ She literally does a 180 when Angel grabs her wrists, swinging her back around and holding her fast.

" Let go of me, Angel, before I stake you too. This waiting around crap is _over!_ "

" Faith, you can't lose it now. This is exactly what she wants. She wants you enraged, and not thinking. She wants you to be an easy target, don't you understand? You go now, and you're playing her game. Make it your game! Don't give in to the anger now!"

" That's a load, Angel. When _do _I get mad, then? After she kills Giles? Or Willow? Or maybe, when she dusts you! All this patience crap is getting us is more dead bodies. Maybe that doesn't bother you, though. I mean, you've had your share of kills in your time."

SLAP!

Faith, stunned into silence, holds her cheek where Angel slapped her.

Angel is furious. His face is a mask of anger. His eye glitter in the night.

" How dare you? You have no idea what I feel. I've murdered hundreds of people. All kinds of people. Men, women, and children. And every one of them haunts me, every day. I don't get days off, I don't get respites, unless I become the killer I was. Would you like that, Faith?"

Angel vamps out, and grabs Faith by the lapels, lifting her off her feet.

" Would you like to meet the _REAL_ Angelus?" His amber eyes burn with a fire that even gives Faith a chill. " You wouldn't like him very much Faith, but he'd love you… after he tortured you for a good long while!" Dropping her, he shakes off the game face. " I'm angry Faith. You've got no idea how angry I am."

"Then why are you stopping me, Angel?" Faith looks at him, trying to suss out the reason. Her eyes narrow. " You still love her, that's it, isn't it? I don't give a crap about that speech you gave me on the front porch. You still love her, and you're trying to protect her. Even now!" She shoves him away. " you disgust me!"

" Protect her?" Angel laughs bitterly." I wish I'd protected her. Don't you get it, Faith? Don't you see it? All this, all that's happening, is because I didn't protect her. I left her, Faith. I walked away from her, from her life, knowing she was vulnerable. I … left… and I wasn't here when she needed me, really needed me!" Angel leans heavily against the wall. " I thought she was safe. She was strong, Faith. And I thought that was enough. I started a whole new life in L.A., trying to forget her, letting her go. I didn't think she had any real threats. But the biggest one was right here. Under my goddamned nose. Her heart, Faith, that's what killed her.

" Angel, you're making like zero sense."

" Her heart, Faith. She always wore it out on her sleeve, right there for anyone to see it. Including Spike…" Angel almost spits the word. " Spike, that bastard. That…" Angel loses it, and hits the post, almost breaking it. " He had that chip. The chip the government put in his head. I thought he was harmless. He couldn't kill humans anymore, The chip stopped that… I was an idiot, a total idiot!"

" Angel," Faith's tone has softened. She goes to him, putting a hand on his arm. " Don't. Don't do this."

" Don't do this? It was stupid . I should've known that Spike would figure a way around that chip. But I didn't think he could, and when I heard Buffy was depending on him more, I thought, " Great. I don't have to go up there now, skulk around. If she needs muscle, she can use him." It was easier, Faith, so much easier to deal with if I didn't have to see her. So I let it happen. I didn't know she was turning to Spike for more than battle support. I didn't know she was turning to him for comfort."

" Angel, it's alright…" Faith tries to comfort him.

" No, its really not, Faith, " Angel says quietly. " He got to her. I don't know how, but he got to her. Convinced her he'd changed. She turned to him, needing something. I should've been there. It was after Dawn's death, and she was broken. I came a few times, but I was working on a big case in L.A. I couldn't come more. And she needed more, and he was here…" his voice trails off. He stands looking out at the backyard, his expression pensive and sad. " I don't know how he did it, but he defeated the chip. Maybe it stopped working, maybe some magic , or he got it removed. All I know is, he was able to kill again. I learned it later, he'd started up again. Buffy didn't know, because he lied to her. Let her think it was still safe. He lured her, reeled her in…and…" his voice sounds hollow, " sired her. I don't know what happened after that, not for sure. But I'm almost sure she dusted him and Drusilla."

" That bastard, " Faith says low.

" No, he's not the bastard, Faith. I'm the bastard. For letting it happen when I could've stopped it. All these killings, Faith? They're mine. I might as well have turned to killing again, because if I hadn't been so … so goddamn… I would've stopped it. Buffy never would've been a vampire. All this is my fault. All of it."

" Then let me get her, Angel. Please, let me do this for you. You've done so much for me, let me do this for you."

" No! No, not yet, not now. You go out there, you walking into her trap. She'll get you Faith. You have to promise, Faith…"

" No, Angel, don't do this."

" Please, Faith. You're important to me. You've become very important to me. I couldn't deal if she murdered you, or worse, turned you… so , I'm asking you to promise me, that until we're ready, don't go off by yourself after her!"

" Oh, man, Angel, " Faith shakes her head, walking away, " You know I care about you. You know I'd do anything for you. Please, don't ask this." She's almost pleading with him. " I need the anger, Angel. Killing her is going to be hard enough. Without the anger, I …"

" Faith, I'm not asking you to give up the anger. Keep it. Hone it, refine it, and use it. But on her. ONLY on her. Don't waste it running here and there looking for her. We'll find her, we'll get her. Then use the anger to take her down." He sighs, feeling his own anger starting to dissipate. " To dust her, if you've got to."

Faith closes her eyes, and through an effort of will, brings her anger back in control. Her fists clench and unclench with the effort.

" Alright!" Faith replies sullenly. " I'll hold off, even though I wanna break her face and then the rest of her. Damn, I hate being the good guy. Too many goddamn rules. "She makes an angry gesture, This better work, Angel, or you're gonna have one pissed off slayer on your hands." She turns on her heel and walks into the house.

"Alright, she's gone. Show yourself, " Angel hisses into the night.

Nothing happens, and then suddenly, he jumps onto the porch roof, confronting Buffy.

"Well, I'd thought you'd gone deaf along with soft, Angelus, " Buffy smirks at him. " Hi, baby, miss me?"

" It's Angel. Why does every fucking one of you get that wrong?" Angel growls.

" Oooo, so hostile!" Buffy smiles at him. " Trying to protect Faith, aren't you, big boy?" She shakes off the wrinklies, and stands before him, looking sad. " But you couldn't even protect me, could you?" She laughs at him. " You're such a dope. Don't want or NEED you're protection, Angel. I can take care of myself… and you're little girl too." She vamps out.

" Why'd you do it? Why'd you kill Xander?" Angel growls " Doesn't matter, you're not gonna live long enough to answer." Angel, fast as lightning, goes to grab her.

Buffy is just a bit faster, and before he reaches her, she has her arm around his neck, and a stake at his heart.

" Getting slow, honey. Must be the age thing, " Buffy shrugs.

Angel struggles to free himself, and Buffy hits him in the forehead with the blunt end of the stake.

" Be nice. Remember, I've got the stake." She taps the pointed end on his chest." Why'd I kill Xander. I think that's what you asked. Well, lover, I'll tell you. I did it… because it was _fun._ If you could've seen his face, their faces, when I jumped down. It was… a classic. And then the fear, and the " No, don't Buffy. Don't you remember? We're friends." Too rich, it was just too good to pass up!"

" I'm going to kill you Buffy, " Angel says. " that's not a threat. It's a promise!"

Buffy laughs merrily, poking him gently with the stake. " You're so cute when you're trying to be all tough." She leans her chin on his shoulder. " You just can't do it though, can you? You can't kill me baby, and that's why I'm gonna win. I'll kill you, and all your little friends, and get what I want, anyway." She whispers in his ear. " It doesn't have to be this way, Angel." " You loved me once, lover. Still do, I think. So why not just join me, baby?" She nibbles on his ear. " It could be really good."

Angel pulls his head away from her. " You know why."

" You're a fool, Angel. We could have it all. Power. Rivers of blood. Everything. This town would be ours. All you have to do is say yes. There's even a bonus, little old Faith. Mmmm… I'll make her my pet, my sweet little growly guard dog. Just think of the fun. I want her, baby, and I want you. Think of the fun we could have, me and you, me and her… you and me and her…" She licks his ear. " Think about it real good lover."

" Sounds nice… " Angel says softly.

He rears back and head butts her, breaking her grip. He turns around, and grabs her arm, holding her over his head.

" … if I were Angelus. But I'm not. You're a perversion. You make me sick, and I'm gonna break your spine…"

Buffy wiggles in his grip, and brings her foot around, kicking him in the groin. Angel drops her, falling to his knees.

" Don't think so, lover. God, you've really got to remember to start wearing a cup, Angel," Buffy chuckles at him. " You know I'm gonna go for your balls."

The sound of a car starting distracts her. She looks over the roof.

" Sorry honey, gotta go. My ride's leaving. Think about it, Angel. "

She runs over the roof, and leaping, hits the next roof. She takes off into the night.

" Fuck, " Angel stands up, still gripping his groin, He goes to the top of the roof, and looks. He sees a car taking off. He recognizes it, and shakes his head.

_Damn!_

He jumps off the roof.

2

Faith hears a crashing sound in the living room.

" Oh god, now what?" She mutters to herself as she runs through the kitchen.

She bursts in, and finds Willow by the china cabinet, grabbing out plates and throwing them at the walls. Giles and Amy, looking bewildered and more than a little afraid, are in opposite corners, arms crossed to defend themselves.

" I . WANT. HER. DEAD!" Willow yells, throwing more plates. " SHE. KILLED. XANDER! I WANT THAT BITCH TO PAY!" Crash! Another plate hits the wall.

" Oh, geeze, " Faith runs over to Willow, and grabs her in a bear hug. " Calm down, Red!"

Willow struggles trying to free herself. Faith lifts her off the ground. Willow, beyond frustrated and angry, flails her arms and legs, trying to hit Faith.

" LET ME GO! DAMMIT, FAITH! LET ME GO, " Willow screams, " I'm gonna rip that monster's eyes and tongue out. I'm going to cut her into chunks. GODDAMMIT, FAITH! LET ME GO!" Her kicks hit Faith's shins, but Faith still grips her, holding her tightly.

It takes a minute or so, but Willow finally runs out of steam. Her struggle become weaker and her screams turn into sobs. The fight has gone out of her, and she goes limp in Faith's arms.

"Please, please let me go, " She says between sobs. " I hate her. I've got to get her for this. Don't you see? Xander was my bestest friend. She killed him, and I've got to kill her now."

She still is hitting on Faith, but her blows are like feathers. Her strength and rage are gone.

Faith lowers her gently to the floor, holding her almost like a child.

" Why? Why did she kill Xander? I don't understand. Why?"

" You and Xander were the closest to her, Willow, " Giles says, coming over from the corner. " You two remind her of what she was. She can't stand that, being reminded. It galls her." He nods towards the sofa.

Faith lifts the crying girl up, and carries her across.

"I … I'm next?" A note of fear comes in her voice, " She's coming for me next?"

" It's ok, Red. I won't let her, " Faith swears, " I'll get her, and we'll get this done."

She grips Willow's hand, and squeezes it reassuringly. She looks around the room, and her brow furrows.

" Hey guys, where's Buffy's mom? Where'd she go?"

" Joyce?" Giles also looks. " Oh… she must've ducked out when the commotion started. I'm afraid you scared her, Willow."

Willow looks up, guiltily.

" I don't think so, " Angel says, coming into the living room.

" What?"

" I don't think Joyce got scared and ran out, " Angel goes towards Giles. " I saw her car leave a minute or so ago."

" What?" Faith gets her first good look at Angel. " What happened to you?"

" Never mind that now. I think…"

" STUPID!" Giles hits his head with his palm. " I'm a bloody fool. I should've seen this. Do you think she…"

" Hold up, enigma boys. What exactly are you talking about?"

" Mrs. Summers. Joyce. She left, to meet with Buffy." Angel says.

" Why?" Faith looks puzzled. " How do you know that?"

" She's acting as a mole, Faith, " Giles says, " she's telling Buffy our plans."

" Are you serious?" Faith can't believe it. " She knows Buffy's a vampire… why …"

" She's still her daughter, Faith. IF you thought someone was trying to hurt your daughter…"

"Shit!' We gotta get there, now!" She spots the keys on the side table by the door. She's there, has them and is half out the door before the others can react. " Giles, you and Amy? Take care of Xander and Anya. You know what to do. We don't need anymore little helpers for Buffy." She slams the door behind herself.

" I better go with her, " Angel says.

Before he can even reach the door, Willow is there, starting out. He grabs her by the shoulder.

" Where do you think you're going? " He asks, a little irritated.

" I'm going with. Let go, " Willow says quietly, but firmly.

" There's no way you're going, Willow. We need you here."

Willow turns on him, and gives him a deadly look.

" Try and stop me, Angel, " she says, walking out the door, " anyway, Faith can't drive."

Angel turns back to the others, " You've got the bodies?"

" Yes, go, we'll handle that here, " Giles says, " just don't let them go alone!"

Angel exits.

" Looks like we get the clean up work, Mr. Giles, " Amy looks around ruefully.

" We have to take care of the bodies first, Amy. And make sure they don't come back."

Amy looks grim. " You think she turned them?"

" No telling… and frankly? I don't want to find out, " Giles heads towards the back.

" I've got a spell that'll do it. No fuss, no muss, no lighter fluid".

She follows him out.

Faith is leaning on Willow's car, pounding on the top in frustration.

" Hey! You'll dent it!" Willow says, coming around the front. " Gimme the keys."

" Where the hell do you think you're going, Red?" Faith palms the keys.

" Tip, Faith. Don't piss off the driver. I don't go, nobody goes. And oh, just try to stop me," She comes over to Faith, hand out.

Faith looks at Angel, who shrugs. Keys hit palm, Willow slides in the driver's seat, and in less than a minute, they're off.

" When we get there, you stay back," Faith says to Willow, " I don't need to be worrying about you."

" Don't worry, Faith. I'm here to help, not get killed. I'm angry, not stupid."

Gripping the wheel tightly, she makes a sudden left. Everyone in the car is thrown against the side.

" Maybe a little crazed?" Faith asks, holding on for her life.

" Maybe."

3

" Mom!"

Buffy sees her mom's SUV pull into the driveway, and calls out over the railing.

" Buffy, thank god you're here, " Joyce says, getting out of her truck. "Things are bad, Buffy."

Joyce walks up to the porch, and sits on the swing. Buffy sits next to her.

" What is it, mom?" Buffy looks worried, "what's going on?"

" It's bad, Buffy. Worse. They, all of them, believe you're behind these awful murders."

" No, mom, no!" Buffy stands up, walking away from the swing. " You know I couldn't do that!"

" I know, baby, I know. But they're convinced. I've tried to tell them otherwise, but they won't listen to me, " Joyce frowns. " I don't know what else I can tell them, honey."

" I know. It's hard for them to believe, " Buffy says, turned away so Joyce can't see her smirk, " they're so used to someone becoming a vampire and becoming evil. They just can't accept I'm different."

" Maybe if you sat down with them, Buffy. If you talked to them, told them your side of the story…"

" Is that before or after they stake me?" Buffy says, bitterly. " they won't listen to me."

" Have you tried, Buffy? On neutral ground? Where they can't kill you?"

" Mom, c'mon, with Faith there?" She turns back to her mother, frowning. " She hates me, you know that. I don't get it, I just don't. I do my slayer duties forever, and now, because of something that isn't even my fault, they turn on me. They listen to that psycho loony tune. All she wants to do is stake me, and take over my job. Be me. Remember I warned you about her, many times. Now she's gonna do it."

" Buffy," Joyce says, getting up.

" No mom, even you didn't want to believe it. You were all ' give her a chance, Buffy' ' She's just different Buffy' ' She can't help it, Buffy.' Then she went nuts and tried to kill everyone, and did I say , ' I told you so?'. Even once? No. I just got in there and saved you from her, is all. But now, because of this… this… curse, everyone is against me. Even you," Buffy shakes her head. " you go to their little meetings. How do I know you're not plotting with them behind my back? Maybe even now … maybe I should just go." Buffy starts to leave.

" No, Buffy! " Joyce calls out, going after her. " Please, baby. Don't go!"

Buffy stops, arms crossed. She's turned away, so Joyce can't see her expression.

" What?" Buffy says, impatiently.

" I can tell you what they're planning. About you."

" Really?" her voice softens. " What mom?"

" They're … going to try to capture you. that's the plan. Then, they're going to perform a rite of exorcism on you, to expel the slayer demon in you. They figure that's what became corrupted. They figure once that's out, you'll be yourself again."

" Right. Myself, without any slayer powers. God, how can they be so stupid! That's the only thing keeping me from becoming evil. Didn't you explain that to them?"

" I … I tried honey, but they wouldn't listen." Joyce says, quietly. " they don't listen to me."

" Do they ever?" Buffy says, a little sarcastically, " I mean really, mom, does anyone ever listen to you?"

" Buffy?"

" I'm… I'm sorry, mom. I'm just stressed."

" It's ok, honey, I know," Joyce says, putting a hand on Buffy's shoulder. " Maybe, you should get out town for awhile, honey. Get away. Let this blow over. Then come back , and together, we can talk to them, convince them."

Buffy shakes her head. " No, I don't think so. You were right before. I have to face them down. Get this settled. Otherwise, it's just going to hang over me like a …well, stake. " She shrugs.

" I think that's the best course, Buffy. I really do."

" Well, you would, wouldn't you?"

" Buffy?" Joyce notes Buffy's change of tone. " What do you mean?

" What I mean, mommy dearest, " Buffy says, still turned away, " is that you're not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, are you?"

" Buffy, I don't understand…" Joyce tries to back up, but Buffy grips her hand in a vise like grip

" Buffy, I don't understand, " Buffy mocks her, " well, of course you don't. But don't worry, mom. I don't hold it against you. I still think you're a peach." Buffy turns around, twisting her arm. She's fully vamped out. " Now, be a nice peach, and let me eat you."

" Buffy, no! STOP THIS! " Joyce screams.

" ' Buffy, no! stop this!" Buffy mocks her. " You moron!"

Buffy leans in, and bites her mother's neck.

Joyce screams.

4

" Hey, Buff!"

Buffy feels herself pulled off Joyce, and lifted by the hair. She looks into the face of one very, very brassed- off slayer.

BAM!

" I'm ready to play now!"

Before Buffy can recover, Faith starts pounding on her, driving her away from Joyce.

" Run, Joyce, NOW!" Faith calls out, as she attacks Buffy.

" I'm glad you came, " Buffy sneers, " I'm so gonna enjoy this!"

Buffy grabs Faith, and throws her against the door. Faith, ready for it, bounces back, and does a side kick, hitting Buffy in the stomach.

Buffy, unprepared, staggers back close to the plate glass window, and Faith leaps at her, crashing both of them through the window, into Buffy's living room.

Angel and Willow come up, and seeing Joyce, go to her. Angel presses a finger against her neck.

" Is she… I mean… is she…?" Willow looks sick.

" No, she's alive. Just unconscious." Angel starts to lift her. " Help me get her to the car."

Willow looks at the busted window, and hears the noises coming from inside.

" Don't you think you should help her? Faith I mean?" She comes over, and puts one of Joyce's arms around her shoulder.

Angel stares at the window. " No… I think she's got it."

They walk to the car.

Inside the living room, they roll on the floor, each trying to get the advantage. Buffy finally manages to throw Faith off, and leaps to her feet.

" You moron. You think you've got a chance against me? You couldn't take me when I was mortal. What makes you think you can now?"

" Seem to remember, B, I clocked you pretty good, right in this room, last time we fought." Faith grabs an urn and breaks it over Buffy's head. Buffy staggers back, but grabs a table behind her, and lifts it, throwing it at Faith. Faith ducks, letting it fly over her.

Faith knows her only chance is to keep Buffy off balance. She leaps at Buffy, pushing her back into the living room. She starts to pummel on her, her fists hitting Buffy's shoulders, face and chest.

" You know? That really stings, " Buffy says, bringing her arm up to block. She kicks Faith in the thigh, and then delivers a blow to her face.

" Dammit, B. What is your deal?" Faith , staggering back, hits the grandfather clock in the hall. " You always go for the face."

" Well, _F, _It's just such a great target. And it really pisses you off!" Buffy laughs as she rushes Faith.

Faith ducks aside, and grabbing the clock, pulls it over on Buffy. Buffy almost ducks it, but it clips her on the shoulder, knocking her down. Faith brings her boot up, catching Buffy under the chin, and sending her flying into the wall. Buffy lies still for a moment, and Faith rushes her, to deliver a knockout blow. She throws a kick at Buffy's face, but Buffy's arms come up, and she catches Faith's foot. She throws her back, hard.

" Not quite yet, Faith. We're not done chattin' yet," Buffy is up, while Faith flies into the coffee table, breaking into pieces. Buffy leaps on her, holding her down. " Now, where were we? Oh yeah. I think we were talking about your death. I'm thinking, slow, with lots of torture. "

Faith wriggles free enough to bring her legs up. She pushes Buffy off and over her head, literally kicking her ass into the couch. She rolls out from under, and leaps up, kicking Buffy in the ribs.

" I'm thinking, not!" Faith kicks her again

There's a growl, and Buffy has vamped out. She leaps up, and grabbing the sofa, uses it like a club, hitting Faith with it. Faith, caught flat footed, flies across the room into the banister. Buffy is on her in a flash. She grabs Faith and again pins her.

" Shut up and die, Faith." She leans in to bite her.

" What happened to slow and torturous?" Faith sneers, as she brings her knee up as hard as she can into Buffy's crotch. Buffy staggers back a little.

" Not quite as good as with a guy, but gets the job done, right, B?" Faith doesn't wait. She punches Buffy in the throat. Buffy grabs her throat, and Faith kicks her in the stomach, then brings her knee up into her face when Buffy bends over.

Buffy, enraged and hurting now, grabs Faith around the waist, and drives her back into the banister. Using her head like a ram, she hits Faith over and over in the stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She straightens up, smiling.

" Nice try, Faith. Real nice." She grabs Faith, and lifting her high, throws her over the banister onto the stairs. Faith, winded, trying to catch her breath, lies stunned.

Buffy is up the stairs in a flash. She looks down at the winded slayer, and sits next to her. Almost tenderly, she lifts her, brushing the hair out of her face.

" Why're you doing this, Faith?" Buffy asks, seeming genuinely confused. " This is all about you, don't you know? I want you, baby, really bad. It could be so good, you and me. I know that darkness is in there, " Buffy runs her hand over Faith's chest, tapping it. " I know you and me, would could rule this town. This fucking world. That's what I wanna give you. All of it. Just say yes, and it's all over. All of it. I won't harm your little friends. I'll even leave Angel alone. It'll be just you and me, baby, everything; all you gotta do is say yes."

" Buffy," Faith whispers, reaching her hand towards her.

" Yes, lover?" Buffy waits with baited breath.

Faith grabs her hair, and pulls hard.

BAM! She hits her in the face.

" Again, fuck you!" Faith starts to crawl away.

" You fucking …." Buffy is up, and grabs the crawling Faith. She throws her, head first, upstairs.

Faith hits the wall, cutting her forehead. She staggers up, then bounces off a wall, then another, and slides down.

Buffy is on her, and grabbing her, lifts her off the floor. She licks the wound on Faith's head.

" Mmmm… nice." Holding her, she punches Faith's face again. " Nicer."

She throws Faith into her bedroom, and Faith hits the footboard of Buffy's bed. Buffy comes in, and closes the door behind her. She goes over, and drags Faith up from the floor.

" So, baby, how're you doin? Not lookin' so good, Faith. Me? I'm just getting warmed up. I can go all night." She throws Faith on her bed, and leaps on her, straddling her. " So, here we are in my bedroom. Wanna fuck?" Laughing, she rips Faith's blouse. " C'mon, baby, it could be fun."

Buffy leans over to bite Faith's exposed breast. Faith gets her arm free, and rakes her nails across Buffy's face.

"I'd rather fuck a Zombie, you bitch, " Faith spits on her.

Buffy rears back, enraged. She hits Faith in the face, then slaps her repeatedly.

" You slut! You scratched my face!" Buffy yells at her. She takes her hand, and claws Faith's face in return. " how's it feel , you slut?" She spits on Faith. " You're mine, bitch, get used to it. I'm gonna have you, like it or not." She starts biting Faith savagely on the breasts, raising little welts of blood.

Faith brings her arms up, and boxes Buffy's ears, hard.

" DAMN YOU!" Buffy screams.

Grabbing her by the hair, Buffy hauls Faith out of the bed. She throws her against the wall. Faith slides down it, glaring balefully at Buffy. Faith, bleeding and exhausted, struggles to get up. Buffy kicks her in the chest, knocking her back down.

" Give it up, Faith. You're dead. You're gonna die in about 10 seconds. When I'm done with your corpse, there's not gonna be enough left to stuff in a waste basket. " Buffy smiles down at her. " And, you're going to die knowing you never could beat me, Faith. You never were my equal, you little slut piece of trash. Not even close. Even dead, I'm a better slayer than you'd ever be! You're not even second, Faith. Kendra was better than you. You're nothing, Faith. That's all you ever were, nothing." Buffy spits on her again. " And you'll die nothing."

Something snaps in Faith. All the anger, the humiliation, the pain she's suffered over the years coalesces into a hot ball in her chest. The pain, the exhaustion falls away. She feels strength flow through her; pure energy, white hot courses through her veins. She grabs Buffy's foot, and throws it off. She hauls herself off the floor, facing Buffy.

" Maybe so, B. Maybe so. But not now. Not today!"

And for the first time she in the longest time, Buffy feels a twinge of fear. She sees the look in Faith's eyes, and she sees madness backing it up. She starts to back up.

Faith, seeing only red, jumps on her. She starts pounding on her.

"We'll see who dies today, B, " Faith growls, hitting her again and again. " We'll just see."

Buffy , unprepared for the onslaught, somewhat weakened by the fight, quickly loses any resistance. She just lies there as Faith's fists hit her again and again.

Angel appears in the doorway. He rushes over, trying to pull Faith off Buffy.

" Stop it, Faith, you'll kill her!" Angel cries, trying to pry her up.

" Good, she deserves to die, " Faith says, shaking him off. She continues to pummel Buffy. " I want to kill her. I'm gonna kill her."

Angel punches Faith in the face, knocking her over. She's immediately on her feet, running on adrenaline, rage and pain.

" Damn you, Angel. Get the fuck outta my way. That bitch dies!" She charges Angel, forcing him back. She beats on him. " I'm not nothing! I'm not nothing! I'm NOT NOTHING!" She screams at him.

Angel lets her rage, knowing he'll have some bruises later.

Eventually the madness breaks. Faith breaks down and starts to sob, clinging to him. He picks her up gently, like a child, holding her in his arms.

Angel hears Buffy start to stir, and still holding the weeping slayer, he walks over, putting his foot on her throat. Buffy glares up at him.

" Don't even twitch, Buffy, " Angel says quietly, " My foot will be through your throat before you can lift an arm."

" Just stake me you prick and be done with it, " Buffy croaks." All that whining baby's screeching is giving me a migraine."

" Let me go, Angel, I'm ok, " Faith says, voice scratchy and emotional.

" Not yet, Faith." He holds her tighter.

" The crazy slayer's gone, Angel. I'm back. Let go, " She wriggles out of his arms, pushing away.

" Oh god, just kill me! All this sweetness is making me wanna puke."

" Kill you, B?" Faith pulls a wickedly sharp knife out of her boot. She comes over, and slides the flat edge along Buffy's cheek. " Now, where's the fun in that?" Taking the knife, she thrusts it in the floor next to Buffy's head.

Buffy flinches.

" Faith!" Angel growls at her.

" Aw, chill out, Angel. Just yanking her chain a little." She smiles down at Buffy, " Now baby, give us a kiss." She grabs Buffy by the ears, and head butts her. Buffy's eyes roll up in her sockets, and she's out.

" Man, you're girlfriend has a rock for a head," Faith complains, rubbing her forehead. She pulls her knife out of the floor.

" You could've just hit her, Faith, " Angel grins at her.

" Naw, my arms were tired. " Faith chuckles. She walks over to the curtains, and starts cutting off the pulls. " So, roll her over, champ. I wanna hog tie her nice and tight til we can get something more permanent."

In a few minutes, it's done. Faith has her tied leg to opposite arm, tightly. She's gagged her, and Faith uses a pillow case as a hood over her head.

" Why'd you tie her like that?" Angel asks.

" Well, if she tries too hard to break those ropes, she'll rip the arms right out of her sockets. That might sting a little, " Faith chortles.

Angel looks at her with an odd expression. " Where'd you learn that?"

" Lets just say a couple guys I knew? Really had some creative bondage ideas."

" You're evil, " Angel shakes his head, almost in admiration.

" Yeah, you're still not getting in my pants, buster," Faith cracks.

Lifting Buffy, they carry her out the bedroom door.

5

"OW!"

Faith dodges the antiseptic sponge Willow is using to clean her facial wounds. Willow holds her by the cheek, and daubs it on as gently as she can.

" Ow, ow, ow!" Faith repeats, pouting a little.

" God, stop being such a baby," Willow scolds her. " do you want those to get infected, so you have nice scars running on your face? Just hold still." She finishes cleaning the scratches, then daubs some antiseptic ointment on them and bandages her face. " There, done. That looks… ok, it looks ugly, but you only have to wear them a couple of days."

"Geeze, thanks,"

" Ok, take off your blouse…" Willow turns to get some more antiseptic solution.

" Whoa up. When did this become a game of playing doctor?"

Willow makes a rude noise.

" Grow up, Faith, and oh, get over yourself? All I'm doing is making sure you don't have any wounds that'll infect."

" Who died and made you Florence Nightingale?"

" Hey, if you don't like it, we can always go back to taking you to emergency."

" You really are a bitch, you know that?" Faith grumbles. She shrugs off her ruined top.

" Yeah, but I'm the bitch with the meds, girl, " Willow pokes at the wounds on Faith's breasts, making her jump. " Hmmm… she got frisky, I see." Willow pours out some hydrogen peroxide and cleans the wound.

" Hey, getting a little personal there, Red." Faith stares at her.

" What? Oh for god's sake. Listen you conceited, self centered moron… You're not my type, I don't go around molesting women, and oh, did I say… you're so not my type."

" Look, I beat up Buffy pretty bad. Why don't you go torture her for awhile?"

" Oh, yeah, I'm going to go over and start poking at the pissed off vampire. That's a great plan, Faith." She shakes her head in disbelief. " Anyway, she doesn't need it."

" What're you talking about?"

" She's already healing up. Vampires heal fast; at least that's what Angel says. It's an undead thing." She pushes on Faith's shoulder. " Turn around."

" Hey, watch it. That's sore!" Faith grumbles. " So, when are you guys gonna have this exorcism ready? I mean, come on. How long does it take to get her to spew the pea soup already?"

" Amy and Giles are still working on it. I'm gonna help them as soon as I get done patching you up, so the less you talk, the better."

" Hah, funny, Red. What's the hold up?"

" It's a little complicated, Faith. Not sure you'd get it. " She looks at Faith's back. " Holy malloley. What'd she do? Use you to sand down the head of nails or something? You got cuts all over your back. "

" Not a dope, Red. I can understand things you know, " Faith protests.

"Whatever. Here. Bite on this" She hands Faith a clean towel.

" Why?"

"Cuz, this is gonna hurt, and I don't want you to bite your tongue, or scream like …"

" A girl?" Faith chuckles.

" A baby…" Willow finishes." Go on, bite on it."

Faith complies, just as Willow pours the antiseptic over her back. Her eyes go wide, and tear up. But not a sound. Willow daubs the wounds on Faith's back gently, eliciting grunts from Faith.

" You can take that out, now, " Willow says, calmly.

" So what about this hoodoo of yours. What's the deal?"

" Look, this is not an ordinary demon we're trying to expel from Buffy. It's the essence of the demon the original Watchers used to make the slayer a slayer. It's sort of mystically tied to you. To expel it, we're going to have to find the original spell that imbued it, and adapt an exorcism ritual to take that into account. Not an easy task." Willow starts rubbing antiseptic ointment on Faith's back, " Oh ,and you probably don't want to be in the same room when the ritual is performed. It could affect you, too."

" And what's the bad part about that?"

" What do you mean, Faith? You stop being a slayer."

" Yeah, and?"

" We still need a slayer here, idiot."

" So? I stop being a slayer, the next one is called."

" Maybe. Or maybe it doesn't work that way, and only your death triggers it."

" Damn. And I was hoping to drop this gig," Faith grouses. " Well, you guys hurry up and get Vampirella over there fixed, and then maybe you can slit my throat, and have Buffy back."

Willow slaps Faith on the back, hard.

" SHIT!" Faith jumps up, spinning around. " What the fuck was that for?"

" What the hell kind of talk is that? Do you think I want you dead or something?"

" Don't you? Think I forgot the warm welcome I got comin' here?"

" Hey, remember, you were the one that went all Freddy Kruger on us, trying to kill us all. What did you expect? Chocolate and kisses? We, me and …" Willow pauses, trying to catch her breath, "… Xander thought you were the same. But I know now you're not the same, Faith. Not even close. So stop that kind of stupid ass talk." She throws the towel at Faith. " You'll live."

" Hey, aren't you gonna bandage my back?"

" Screw you, Faith, " Willow says as she disappears into the dining room.

" What the hell bug she got up her butt?" Faith shakes her head.

She hears an evil laugh.

Buffy is sitting bound up in a chair, heavy chains binding her . She's been watching the whole little scene, and is grinning like a fool.

" Shut up slutty, " Faith growls. " When I want the psycho vamp opinion, I'll let you know."

" Well, it's great to see some things never change, " Buffy chuckles. " You're still the densest dumb ass I've ever met!"

Faith walks over, and flicks her on the nose. Buffy flinches, and struggles against the chains.

" I'm free, and you're chained up. Who's the dumb ass again, B?" She laughs.

" Nothing's forever, Faith. When I get outta these, you're blood's gonna spurt red in my mouth, you slut." Buffy keeps struggling.

" As you bragged earlier, Buffy, you're done. Even if by some miracle you get outta those, the girls put a binding spell around you. You'll go about two inches, and boom, hit a brick wall."

Buffy doesn't say a word. She just leers at Faith, licking her lips.

Faith shudders. She wonders how that thing can make her feel so damned … dirty.

" Where the fuck did I drop my blouse, " Faith mutters, walking back over to the chair.

"Aw, c'mon Faith. Why cover up your best assets. They look positively bitable." Buffy drops into a sing song tone. " I know somebody who'd like to bite 'em."

Faith recovering her blouse, comes over and slaps Buffy hard.

" Shut up, you sick shit. Only thing you're biting is dust." She slips into her blouse.

" Not me, bitch, Though hey, I bet their a real mouthful and a half, " she chortles. " Naw, I'm talking about the airhead playing nurse before."

" Get real. Red? You're nuts. She can't stand me, and anyway, bonehead, I don't swing that way."

" Yeah, don't knock it if you aint tried it, Faithy. Though, seems when I had you all tied up before, you were getting a little breathy when I started biting you."

" Yeah, well, my boobs are sensitive, ok? Shit, what the fuck does this matter? You're toast, bitch."

" You're a crappy liar, Faith. I got enhanced senses. I could tell you were turned on."

" In your dreams, Vampira. You were a sexy as mold."

" Hmmm. That's not what my nose told me. No matter, cuz I wouldn't touch your skanky self except to drain you. But Red… now there's a different story."

Faith makes a disparaging noise. " Listen blood brain. Red barely tolerates me… only because I got the bitch that killed her best friend. I'm not gay, or bi… I like dick. And anyway, even if all that were diff? She's got a girlfriend. Or did the blood loss make you forget that?"

" She's got a turnip, you moron. Tara's been a vegetable for years. All that time, and old Faithful Will hangs in there, not getting none, just being the devoted girlfriend. But the girl's so horny, she could pop. And lonely, needing someone to talk to. Wow. Just put those together, and she's ready to lay back and open it right up… and baby, I can smell how much she wants you to be doing the lickin'."

SLAP!

" Shut up, you perverted piece of crap!" Faith hits her again. " SHUT UP!"

Buffy laughs, licking the blood from her cut lip. " Wow. I hit a sore spot, didn't I Faithy?"

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

" Hey!" An angry Willow comes in from the dining room. " What the hells going on in here!" She rushed over to the two of them, grabbing Faith's hand. " What the hell are you doing? Quit hitting her!"

Faith rears back, ready to hit Willow. Willow's eyes go wide, and she drops Faith's hand, crossing her arms in front of herself to protect herself. Faith just shoves her away.

" Quit fucking around and get this spell done. I'm tired of looking after this…" She storms out, slamming the front door after her.

"What the hell is _her_ problem?" Willow mutters, angry and confused.

" These slayers. They're just so touchy, " Buffy chuckles, loving the effect she's had.

" Shut UP!" Willow slaps her, and storms out of the room.

Buffy laughs and laughs.

6

" You guys look like you escaped from a really bad movie."

Faith sits in a chair at the edge of the dining room. She points at the others, and laughs.

" Can this get more hokey, or what?" She chuckles.

Giles, Amy, Angel and Willow all give her a dirty look. They are dressed in dark robes, decorated with hand painted mystical symbols. Each is carrying a black candle, and a staff.

Faith is loving this.

In the center of the dining room, the table having been removed, is a circle of powder. And within that sits Buffy, still chained but with a new accessory. A gag. Everyone has grown tired of her rude remarks.

" You know, Faith, you really don't need to be here. Why don't you leave?" Angel , feeling the most foolish of the four, snaps at her.

" What?" She barely suppresses a giggle, " and miss you guys doing the hokey-pokey? I don't think so!"

" Faith, you should really leave," Willow adds, a little grimly

There is a pause while nothing happens.

" Now would be good, " Amy says.

" Oh, c'mon, this'll be a hoot, " Faith waves her off.

" Actually, Faith, for your own good, please step into the living room, " Giles says, pointing through the doors.

" The spell could affect you being a slayer, Faith," Willow says, " I told you that earlier."

" And like I told you, so the fuck what?"

The four of them stare at her.

" Faith, like it or not, you're the slayer, " Giles says, " and you have a sacred duty to perform as the slayer. Until you die, there can't be another slayer. There is no guarantee that another slayer would be called if you lose you powers during the spell casting. So, to be blunt, get out!"

" How sweet, Giles. I'm so touched by your concern, " Faith mocks, " Fine, I'll get out. "

She stands, and walks to the doorway.

" Not fair I don't get to see Buffy get hers."

She leaves. Then she pops back.

" If this don't work, I'm staking the bitch."

She's gone.

After they are sure she is gone, Willow speaks up.

" Ok, is everyone clear on the ritual? We each take a point at the circle. Giles, you're at 12 o'clock. Amy, you're at 3 o'clock. Angel, 6 o'clock. I'm at 9 o'clock." She looks around. Everyone nods their assent.

" Ok, then, " She continues. " We move in a counter clockwise direction. That's to the left, people. We chant the first verse, move to the spot left by the person in front of you. Chant the next verse, same thing. Etc. Remember. Tap your staff 3 times after you stop, and before saying the next verse. We've practiced this, so lets get it right!" she looks around again. " if we do this right, everyone should wind up in the same place they started. "

"Alright then, after the first part, I'll say the exorcism, and you all chant it in Latin. Everyone clear on that?"

" I don't speak Latin, Willow, " Amy says.

" Don't think you got to know what you're saying, just say it. Ok?"

Amy shrugs.

" Ok, we ready?"

Grumbles and other noises of assent.

" Places, people!"

---

Faith walks down the hall to the den, figuring she'll stretch out and get 40.

" Aw, who wanted to see their old stupid spell, anyway, " She grumbles.

" Willow? Is that you?" A voice float out from the den.

Faith looks in, and sees Joyce half laying on the couch, looking towards the doorway.

" Oh, it's you Faith. Sorry, never mind, " Joyce turns away.

Faith starts to leave, then turns back in.

" Mrs. Summers, can I talk to you?"

Joyce hesitates a second, her face reflecting her confusion. Finally she waves Faith in.

" Sure of course, Faith. Come in." She pats the sofa next to her. " Please, sit by me."

" Uhhh… no , I think I'll stand. I'm not gonna take much of your time, I know you're resting and all…" Faith tries to get it all out in a rush, " Look, let's just cut to the chase. I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

" Sorry?" Joyce looks confused, " I'm sorry, what for?"

" About everything, you know? I mean way earlier, when I was here and tried to hurt you, and now, for all the stuff we put you through. I just want you to know that I'm really sorry you had to go through all this." Faith paces, nervously, " I know you didn't really want to put me up. I know that was Buffy trying to get you to do it, or Giles, or something. I wasn't fair, any of them, to do that to you. I know me being there, even on your porch… must've been awkward and not pleasant. Heck, last time I was there, I kinda trashed your house, fighting B. Er. Actually, this time too… sorry 'bout that. But … I dunno, I'm just sorry you had to be involved in this. I know it must like really hurt." Faith shrugs, and heads for the door, " So, I just wanted to kinda say that, and I'll leave you alone now." She starts out.

" Faith… FAITH!" Joyce calls out, getting up. " Please? Stay?"

Faith looks back in, puzzled and suspicious.

" I'm glad you dropped by. I mean now. I wanted to talk to you, tell you how sorry I am, but I just didn't know how to do it. How to face you, after everything." She waves at the couch. " Could you sit down, please?"

Faith walks over, still keeping her eyes locked on Joyce. She sits. Joyce sits down next to her.

" There's so much I have to be sorry for, but especially with you, Faith. This is hard to explain." Joyce sighs " I wish you were a mother, it'd be easier for you to understand. But when I lost Dawn, in a way I lost Buffy too. Do you see what I mean?"

" Frankly Mrs. Summers, no," Faith says, quietly.

" Please, call me Joyce. Dawn was my baby. I mean, she was the youngest. She was special to me in that way. She was my little punkin belly, you know?" Joyce grins a little sadly. Catching Faith's look , she grins ruefully. " I know, she wasn't really mine. I know she was just an energy ball made to be human. But she felt like mine, like she belonged to me, do you get that?"

Faith nods.

" When we lost her, I was hurt deeply, even though my head knew that she wasn't really mine. But my heart felt like she was. But the worst thing, was Buffy. Dawn's death devastated her. The monks had used her to make Dawn. She was literally part of Buffy, her child, in a way, I guess. She loved her so much. She changed, she withdrew, a lot. I tried to talk with her about it, mourn with her, but she didn't want that. She started staying out a lot, and she grew closer to that Spike fellow. God knows why."

" Joyce, Spike's a vampire. Did you know that?"

" Yes, but he had that thing in his head. A chip or something that made him harmless. He couldn't hurt people anymore. That's what Buffy told me."

_Buffy had it way wrong, Joyce._

" Then… when Buffy was … changed, I lost her too. My little star. That was Buffy. She was … everything to me, do you see?" Joyce face is full of pain. " When she came to me, soon after it happened, she explained because of what she'd been, a slayer, the .. .change didn't make her evil, like everyone else. She was still herself. She… looked like her, Ok, pale, but I figured that was because of what happened. But she acted like her, and talked like her, and she never harmed me. Not until…" Joyce frowns, letting out a soft, sad sigh. " I guess I wanted to believe, Faith. I wanted to believe my baby wasn't gone. I … just couldn't take another child being dead… and I let myself be fooled. I was stupid."

Faith reaches over, and covers Joyce's hand with hers. " I can understand it, Joyce. You needed her… I get it."

" When she told me they were bringing you here, to kill her, I panicked. I didn't want to lose her. She begged me to put you up in my house, to make the offer to you… and I went along, because I thought you were going to kill my little girl. That's what I really thought, Faith. And I sat in on the meetings, and told her what was going on. I was such a fool, Faith. Such a silly fool. I thought if I believed enough, if I really believed it; it would be her. That I'd have my little girl back again." Joyce turns away, hiding her eyes. Hiding the tears. " I was such a stupid fool, and I nearly got us all killed. I'm so … so … sorry Faith." Joyce can't hold it back anymore, the remorse and guilt too strong. She starts to cry.

Faith puts an arm around her, trying to comfort her.

" It's ok, Joyce. I get it. You'd do what any mother would do. Do anything to save and protect your daughter." _Well, any mother but mine, maybe._

" Faith I don't have the right to ask you, but … if this doesn't work? If they can't cure Buffy… would you… would you… stake her? I don't want her to be remembered as some killer. I want her… them to remember her as she was… please?"

" I promise, Joyce. I won't let that … thing… hurt your daughter any more."

" Thank you, " Joyce looks at her, eyes full of tears. Faith holds her, letting her cry.

They hear a loud crashing sound from outside.

Faith jumps up, looking towards the dining room.

" What the hell was that?" She turns to Joyce, " You stay here!"

Joyce nods, and Faith runs out of the den.

---

In the dining room, Willow walks to the 9 o'clock position of the circle.

" Light your candles!"

Bics abound as the candles are lit.

" Let's do it!"

Each of the four taps their staffs three times.

**_Permissum illud ut es iunctus exsisto seorsum._**

_Let those that are joined be apart._

They move ¼ of a clock turn, then tap their staffs again.

**_Permissum ut confero exsisto infractus._**

_Let that put together be broken._

Each of the celebrant's candles flare up. There are a few gasps.

" Don't drop the candles, " Willow says.

They move again, and tap again.

**_Effrego vinculum ut erant no._**

_Break the bonds that were made._

For the last time, they move and tap.

**_Effrego seorsum phasmatis partum!_**

_Break apart the spirit created!_

At the last utterance of the spell, the candles suddenly flare brightly, almost blindingly so.

" What the hell!"

" Hey, what's going on?"

" Oh good lord!"

And as suddenly as they flare, they go out. The room is pitched into blackness.

" What happened?"

" Hey, what's going on?"

" LOOK!"

" I think it worked!"

In the center of the room, Buffy is unconscious. Surrounding her is a glow, shot through with red, black and orange. All of them stare at it.

" I think that's it, " Willow's voice is awed." The essence of the demon."

The aura around Buffy is in motion, and it flares up and down, moving around, but bound to the spot by the binding circle around it.

" I don't know, but I'm thinking it's not too happy, " Angel says.

" Perhaps, then we should proceed, " Giles interjects.

" you guys ready? Got your scripts?" Willow asks.

" Yes, let's just get doing it, " Amy says. She's looking a little freaked.

Willow moves to the center, being careful not to get too close to the binding circle. She takes out a vial of holy water, and begins:

" Demon, be afraid!" She shouts, shaking holy water on the essence.

The essence flares up, and Buffy screams

_"Everto , timeo!"_ The others chant.

"Tremble in the presence of your god.

_" Palpito in presentia of vestri Deus._

Foul thing, evil forever.

_Turpis res , malum semper_

Return to the darkness from which you come.

_Reverto ut obscurum ex quod vos adveho._

Depart from this innocent, leave it in peace.

_Recedo ex is insons insontis , licentia is in pacis._

I command you to depart!"

_Ego mando vos proficiscor!"_

Shrieks and moans are heard; not just from Buffy, but from all around the room. Glassware is tossed by no one, but shatters against the walls.

" Geeze, this is getting downright nasty, " Willow murmurs. She ducks quickly as a vase aimed at her head just misses. " Ok, now that's not nice!"

" What do you care, Willow!" A voice seems to be coming from Willow. " Tara's down here with us. She likes it here. SHE'S A REAL BIG WHORE!"

A thousand voices seem to laugh at her.

" Amy!" The voice of Catherine Madison issues from Buffy. A form takes shape in the chaos of the light surrounding Buffy. It looks like her.

" Come to mommy , Amy." Her arms begin to stretch, and stretch and stretch, reaching for Amy.

" Noooo, " Amy starts to move away, frightened.

" Its just illusion Amy, don't listen!" Willow calls to her.

The insane laughter gets louder. Amy stands still, but is shaken.

" C'mon, we've got to continue, " Willow shouts.

Out of the swirling lights, another form appears. It's a man, middle aged. Dressed in period 18th century clothing.

" Liam. Well, I see you've made a fine man of yourself then, " Angel's father approaches him. " So, how does it feel to be a mass murder, my son? I know I'm so proud of you, " The apparition mocks. It reaches out, and slaps Angel. " Wake up, boy, your worth nothin, and never will be!"

" Don't listen to them!" Willow yells, " we have to continue!"

" Rupert, " Jenny Calendar walks out of the lights. She is as she appeared in life, except her head is at an odd angle. Her neck is broken. " He killed me, and you let him do it. You , it's your fault , Rupert!"

" Jenny?" Giles goes white.

" Listen and be fearful, foul thing!" Willow calls out. None of the others respond. " DO IT, SAY IT!" She yells.

" Why should they?" the apparition of Tara approaches her. She looks angry. " They're weak, but you're the weakest!"

" DO IT!" Willow yells again

_"Audio quod exsisto timidus , turpis res!"_ The others, a little shakily, call out.

"You let her do this to me!" Tara hisses at her.

" Baby?" Willow's face is sad. Then she clenches her jaw. " No, it's not you!"

"We call upon the Holy trinity to cast you out."

_" Nos dico super Sanctus trinity jacio vos sicco. "_

" This is you're fault, Willow. All of it, " Tara screams at her.

" You're not real!" Willow cries. " Abomination, child of filth, begone!"

_" Abominor parvulus spurcamen , genitus "_

Willow walks over to Buffy, and sprinkles Holy water on her. She screams.

" Stop this!" Tara screams at her. " You're hurting me, Willow!"

Willow is quivering. But she continues.

"We call upon the Father, the Son, and the Holy spirit"

_" Nos dico super Abbas , Filius , quod Flamen "_

" Why are you hurting me, Willow?" Tara cries out, reaching for her. " I love you!"

" Tara, oh Tara, I'm sorry, " Willow whispers.

" Willow, don't listen, it wants to trick you!" Angel calls. " It's the beast. Don't listen to it!"

" SHUT UP, ANGELUS!" a dark voice issues from Buffy.

Things begin to fly around the room. Crashing into walls, into the furniture, into people.

" Please, stop, Willow. Please!" Tara begs her.

Willow feels tears rolling down her cheeks. She calls out.

" To cleanse this innocent of your foul presence."

No one answers in Latin,

" SAY IT!" Willow yells at them.

_"Emundo is insons insontis vestri turpis presentia."_

More moans, more screams, as if hundred of beings were in the room, are heard. A cold, ice cold wind blows through the room.

The doors to the dining room slam shut, trapping them within.

" Willow, for god's sake, finish this!" Giles calls out, ducking a glass.

" You want her, don't you?" The Tara before her screams at her, pointing at the doors. " You want her, and not ME!"

" No… no baby, no, " Willow moans.

" Willow!" Angel comes over to her, " don't listen, it's trying to confuse you. We're almost there!"

Willow, almost sobbing, calls out the next line.

" In the name of all that is holy, begone!"

Everything in the room starts to swirl faster. The sounds of laughter, the moans, the screams all get louder. The icy wind becomes gale force.

" You WHORE!" Tara screams at Willow over the cacophony. " I HATE YOU!"

Faith runs down the hallway to the living room. She sees the door open, and sees a man at the living room doors, pulling and beating on the doors. She runs over, and grabs him by the collar, hauling him back. She's ready to hit him when she finally gets a good look at him.

" Faith?" Wesley Wyndam-Price, disconcerted at having been lifted off the ground, gasps when he sees who it is.

" Wes?" To say Faith is surprised is understating it.

"What are you doing here?" They say together.

There's a pause.

" I'm here to help" They say together again.

Another pause

" Stop that!" Again.

" Wes, for Christ's sake, what're you doing here? I thought you were in L.A.!"

" I just arrived. I heard they were going to do an exorcism, and came to see if I could help. I seem to be late to the party."

" That's putting it mildly." She lets him down. The doors to the dining room open and slam shut repeatedly. " I think they're séance thingie is out of control."

" Faith, help me with the doors. We must get in there. I think they're in grave danger!" Wes starts to throw himself at the door. He bounces off.

" That's not gonna do it, Samson," Faith says sarcastically. " We need something, like an ax…"

" My weapons bag! Of course. It's out in the car!"

" Well, don't just stand there, genius. Go get it!"

Wes runs out, and Faith starts kicking on the doors.

Back inside is chaos.

Everyone is on the floor, avoiding the stuff flying through the air. The sound is deafening, and the nimbus around Buffy seems to be growing brighter, and stronger.

" Willow, finish it, now, or we're all done, " Giles, who's crawled by Willow, looks a little fearfully at the action.

Willow, however, doesn't seem to hear. She seems caught in a world of her own, where Tara is verbally abusing her.

" Angel, the last part, do it!" Giles calls out.

" I need the holy water, Rupert!" Angel calls back.

Giles wrests the vial of holy water from Willow's hand, and crawls over to where Angel is. Angel takes it, and stands up… and is almost knocked over by the wind.

" BEGONE!" He shouts, sprinkling the holy water on the aura.

_" Genitus!" The others shout._

" BEGONE" He repeats, tossing more holy water.

_" Genitus!"_

**" BEGONE!" **He empties the vial on the nimbus.

**_" Genitus! "_**

Suddenly everything is still. The furniture and other things drop to the ground where they are. The wind stops. All noise ceases.

Then the light around Buffy seems to explode, turning the room into a bright white ball of light. Everyone is thrown back against the walls from the force.

Outside, the doors to the dining room burst open, revealing the white light.

Faith and Wes, who just got an ax each and were ready to start chopping the doors apart, are thrown back, into the furniture.

" What the hell?" Faith looks at the hand, realizing she still has the battle ax in it. She looks at the doors, which are barely hanging on the walls. They are broken, and warped.

" Oh, god, " Wes groans, getting up from the coffee table his body smashed to pieces. He offers Faith a hand.

" Got it Wes, " She brushes it away, getting up. " What happened?"

They look into the dining room.

It looks like a cyclone hit it. Things are tossed everywhere. Angel, Giles and Amy are tossed against the walls, while Willow seems to be unconscious in front of the chair holding Buffy. Strangely, that's the only thing that seems undisturbed. Groans and cursing is heard as one by one, they start to come around.

Angel stands up, and looks out. He sees Faith standing in the doorway next to…

" Wes? What're you doing here?" Angel gets up, moving towards him.

" Hello, Angel. It's good to see you too, " Wes says, slightly sarcastically. " What's going on?"

" You're supposed to be in L.A. on that case." Angel doesn't look too happy to see him.

Faith is looking back and forth at the two of them. _Ok, what's going on here, then?_

" The case is finished, Angel. Fred, Gunn and I got it done this evening. I came up here to see if you could use a hand," He looks past Angel into the room. " So, what have you been up to?"

Willow moans, and pushes herself off the floor. She looks around, and groans again. " Did it work?" She asks no one in particular.

" Exorcism, " Angel replies. " Not a whole lot of fun."

" Yes," Wes replies dryly. He walks into the room. " Is this the possessed?" He looks down at the bound person, then does a double take. " Buffy? But she was changed into a vampire…" He looks at Angel.

" Long story, " Angel says.

" We thought if we exercised the essence of Buffy's slayer demon, we could cure her, " Willow says, standing up. " did it work?"

" Ok, maybe not that long, " Angel shrugs.

By now, everyone in the room is back on their feet. They gather around Buffy.

Slowly, Buffy stirs in her chair. Her eyes open, and she sees all of them standing around her. She half grins.

" Hey guys, what's going on?"

She starts to get up, and then realizes she's chained to the chair.

" Why am I in chains?"

To be continued


	4. Chapter 4

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 4

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, because I'm not myself, you see" Lewis Carroll 

1

" THE END"

Buffy sighs heavily, and gets up to turn off the TV.

_Bored, Bored, bored, and bored._

" I'm going to bed, mom, " Buffy calls out as she hits the staircase. She makes it up two stairs.

" Buffy, honey? Wait."

Buffy drums her fingers on the banister, thinking _ What now?_

" Honey, " Joyce says, entering the room, " I'd really like to talk to you before you go to bed."

_Oh god_

" Talk? About what?" _ Maybe I can just deflect her._

" You know what, honey. I'm really worried about you. It's been over two weeks since…" Joyce trails off, not wanting to relive that night, " … and you haven't really been out of the house."

" I have so!" Buffy declares," I went to the store the other day…"

" Buffy, that's not what I mean. I mean, you haven't been out with your friends, or with a date, or anything…you've been hiding away from everybody."

" Ok, mom, let's review, " Buffy says, her voice getting edgy, " About 2 weeks ago, I wake up chained up in Willow's dining room. Kinky, except I find out I've been turned into a vampire, I've been running around as a mass murdering monster, oh, and for giggles? I happen to kill one of my best friends ever. Excuse me if I'm not out looking to date, ok?"

" Buffy, I know it's hard. I know it's been very rough on you. But it's not good for you to be all alone like this…"

" No, mom, you don't know. You don't have a clue. I don't have a clue, because I really can't remember so much about that time. All I do know is how everyone is around me. God, Willow won't _even _ look at me. Angel, on the other hand, not only looks at me, but is practically at my side 24/7. I wouldn't be surprised if I went up to my bedroom and found him standing guard. Giles… I think he keeps expecting me to grow fangs and attack him. And Faith? Well, that's simple, she just hates me. And you… oh god, you all hate me, you all hate me, and I deserve it, but I can't take seeing how you look at me!"

" Buffy, honey, that's not true. We don't hate you, we love you!"

" No, don't lie to me. I can see it. You hate me. All of you. God, why can't you just… just … LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Buffy turns on the stairs, and runs up them.

" Buffy… wait!" Joyce calls out after her. _ Good one Joyce, Nice work. She probably won't talk to you for a …_

The phone rings.

" Damn, who can that be?"

Joyce is torn. She wants to go after Buffy, but she's expecting an important call.

_Take the call, Joyce. Buffy probably won't talk to you anyway. Not now._

She just hopes it's who she thinks it is. She knows that this will make Buffy feel happier.

She turns, and runs to answer the phone.

2

Buffy, really upset, runs into her room, and into her closet. Closing the closet door behind her, she moves around a few boxes on the shelves, revealing a trap door to the attic. Grabbing the hook pole, she pulls it down, and a chain ladder falls. She quickly climbs the ladder and pulls it and the trap door after.

Taking the flashlight off the hook on the post, she walks over to what appears to be a wall with boxes stacked in front of it. Pushing the boxes aside, she feels along the panel until she finds the catch. Pulling it, the wall opens, and she moves inside.

This is her secret spot, a place she found long ago, not long after they moved to Sunnydale. A narrow storage place, 4 feet wide by 15 feet long, it parallels one of the house walls. No one knows about it but her. This was one of her hidey holes when she was a vampire, a place she came back to after her mother invited her in. At one end there is a small mattress , a lamp and a chest. She walks over there, sitting on the mattress. Leaning over, she flips on the lamp, revealing the walls. They are plastered with photographs of Faith. Hundreds she's taken of the slayer, as a vampire and now as a human. On one wall is a larger than life portrait of the slayer. She walks over, and leaning against the wall, kisses the picture with fervor.

" You don't really hate me, do you baby? I couldn't stand it if you did. I don't know, cuz you don't talk to me, or anything. I love you so much. "

Buffy turns and leans against the wall, holding herself. Unconsciously, her body begins to rub against the wall.

" They don't understand me. None of them do. They won't leave me alone. Why won't they just leave me alone? Leave _us_ alone?"

A little sigh escapes her, followed by a low moan. She turns and faces the image on the wall.

" But you understand me, don't you? I know you do… we're alike, you and me, " Buffy leans on the picture. " I just wish you'd realize how much I need you." She leans in, and kisses the image's face repeatedly. " I need you, baby. I love you. So much."

She leans her whole body up against the picture, and sighs.

" Just hold me baby. Just hold me."

3

Joyce hangs up the phone, a little smile on her face.

_This is just the thing, _Joyce thinks to herself, _this'll snap Buffy out of her funk. God, I'd give anything to snap her out of the moodiness she's been having. Poor baby, she's having such a tough time of it. But this, I know, will make her smile_. Joyce hugs herself briefly. _Joyce, you still got it. You too clever by half!_

She exits the kitchen, and looks up the stairs, and her smile fades. _ But now, I gotta go make nice with her, so she'll be talking to me tomorrow. I just wish I could reach in and hug her heart. Let her know how much we all love her._

She starts up the stairs, and stops halfway. _ Maybe I should just leave her alone. I mean, maybe letting her settle down on her own is the best course._ She starts to turn, but stops herself. _ No, this has gone on too long. I've got to go up there, and talk to her. She can't keep hiding away like this. She's got to start dealing with this honestly._

Joyce goes to her room, and finding the door closed, knocks softly.

" Buffy, are you in there? Buffy?" She opens the door, and looks in. _ Not here. Darn. Well, I'll just have to wait for her._

She walks into the room, and casually looks around. She moves towards the bed, and sits. On the nightstand she sees a little red book, with a strap on it.

Buffy's diary.

Joyce picks it up, and undoes the strap. _ Maybe if I look in here, I can get a clue to what's going on in her head._

_No, Joyce, that'd be wrong! It's her diary!_

_Still, I might be able to find something to understand her better._

_It's wrong. It's her private thoughts. You shouldn't snoop!_

_Why not? She's my baby, and she's hurting. It might help._

_Because, it's wrong, that's why!_

_I'm her mother. I'm not shying away from anything that'll help my baby!_

Resolved, Joyce opens the book. She starts reading it. After awhile, her eyes are wide open, and she's feeling her heart beating rapidly in her chest. It's a blow by blow of Buffy's actions as a vampire. It describes hunting, and stalking, and preying. And killing, and how the blood tastes, and feels, and what it does to her… Joyce is at once sickened and fascinated. So fascinated, she doesn't notice the closet door opening. So fascinated, she doesn't hear know Buffy's returned.

" Whatcha doin'?" Buffy asks, her voice low. " Hey, that's private!" She rushes over to her mother.

Joyce, startled, slams the book closed and looks up. _ Busted!_

" Were you reading that?" Buffy says, angrily snatching the book away from her mother. " That's private! You… how could you?" She turns and storms to the other side of the room, throwing the book into a drawer. " Would you like it if I snooped through your stuff?"

" Buffy, I'm sorry, " Joyce stands up, going over to her, " I'm just so worried about you. I don't know how to help you! I was just trying to find a way to reach you."

" By reading my journal? God, that's … that's…" Buffy turns, her face flushed. She sees her mom's worried expression, and she sighs. She leans against the dresser. " Oh mom, why?"

" I just hate seeing you this way, Buffy. I'm so worried about you. You're being so hard on yourself, it scares me sometimes. I'm afraid…"

" Oh mom," Buffy comes to her, flinging herself in Joyce's arms. " I'm so scared!"

" Buffy!" Joyce holds her, realizing her daughter's starting to shake.

" I've been having dreams, mom! Every night! It's always me, being turned into a monster again. Going out, hunting prey. Stalking them down, killing them. They're so vivid, so real! I … I write them down, trying to figure them out, trying to make sense of it." She looks up at her mom, her eyes wet. " What if it happens again? What if I become a monster again. That's why I'm so afraid to go out. I'm afraid I'll be attacked and changed again. " Buffy clings to her, sobbing.

" Oh, baby, no!" Joyce says, hugging her tightly. " Don't. We won't let that happen. I promise you! We won't let that happen to you again. You're ok, baby. You're home, " Joyce cuddles her. " You're safe."

" I was so bad! I was evil! I did so many bad things! I hurt so many people… you, and Willow, and … oh god…" Buffy cries softly into her mother's arms.

" There, there, honey, there, there, " Joyce strokes her hair." It's ok, now. It's over. You're safe here." Gently, she leads Buffy to her bed. " Lie down, sweetie. Rest. You'll feel better."

Buffy allows her mother to lead her to the bed, and lies down complacently. Joyce holds her hand.

" Oh mom, what would I do without you?" Buffy asks softly. She reaches up, and pulls Joyce into a hug. " I love you so much!"

Joyce smiles, knowing her little girl is back. " I love you too, Buffy. Get some rest. We can talk in the morning."

" You bet, mom!" Buffy says, through sniffles. " I'd like that!"

" Goodnight, Buffy. Sleep well."

" G'night, mom, " Buffy bravely smiles up at her.

" Do you want me to stay for awhile?"

" No, I'm ok now, mom. You go ahead," Buffy says.

" Ok, honey. I'm just down the hall if you need me."

" Thanks, mom."

" Goodnight, baby."

" Goodnight, mom."

Buffy watches as her mother leaves. As soon as the door closes, her whole attitude changes.

" God, I thought she'd never leave!" Buffy mutters to herself.

Throwing off the covers, she hurries over to the closet. Rummaging around, she pulls out some clothing. She walks over and lays it on the chair by her vanity.

" Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the smartest one of all?" Buffy says into the mirror. " Well, it certainly _isn't_ dear old mom!" She giggles softly.

Going back to the closet, she returns with a black wig and stand. She sets it on the vanity.

She sits down, and does her makeup. She does her eyes and brows, emphasizing them. Her base is pale, very pale. She puts on a crimson colored lipstick. She pouts out her lips, and leans over, kissing the mirror. " Welcome back, sexy."

Pinning up her hair, she puts on the dark, short haired wig. She paints her fingernails the same shade as her lips, and admires herself in the mirror. She stands, and starts to strip out of her baggy sleepwear.

She strips down to her panties and turns this way and that in the mirror. " Uh, uh. Those will never do!" She walks over to her dresser, and opening it, pulls out a black thong. Dropping her white panties, she puts it on. She returns to the mirror." Oh yeah, so much better!"

She gathers up her clothing, and folds it neatly on the vanity chair. She picks up her costume d' jour, and starts to dress.

First she walks to her dresser, and retrieves a pair of sheer black nylons. She rolls them up her legs. She loves the silky feel of them against her. She grabs a garter belt, and puts it on. Walking back to the mirror, she looks at herself once again. " Oh, better and better !" She turns this way and that, admiring her toned ass.

She dons a black, sleeveless blouse that clings to her curves. It's net material hides next to nothing. She reaches and pinches her nipples, making them erect. " Nice, " She smiles. Reaching into a vanity drawer, she pulls out a pair of evening length black lace fingerless gloves, and puts them on.

Finally, she wiggles into a tight leather skirt that barely covers her ass. " Almost," she says, again turning to admire herself. She then walks to the closet and picks out a pair of black thigh high lace up boots. Walking over, she sits and puts them on. She stands, and gets the final effect.

" Perfect," She smiles broadly. Now she's ready to hunt. " No wait!" She reaches into the vanity, and pulls out a lace choker. She puts it on, and grins . " Now it's perfect".

" Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the hottest slut of all?" She smiles, and licking her finger, touches her ass. " You bet I am" Stretching, she proceeds to runs her hands down her chest to her hips. "Mmmm. Mom'll be so happy, " She grins at herself. " I mean, she did want me to go out, right?"

Giggling softly, Buffy slips out her window.

4

Walking, her heels clicking softly on the pavement, Buffy journeys through the night. She feels the hard warm knot of anticipation in her stomach, and she smiles. She loves the hunt. Loves every bit of it. She turns quietly down an alley in the commercial district, and sashays towards her destination. The cool night breeze caresses her like a lover, and she feels her nipples harden further. Little tingles rush from her breasts to her sex, causing a slight dampness. _ God, it's even better alive._ She grins, loving the way she feels.

She reaches a plain steel door with a peephole door cut into it. She knocks three times on the door and waits.

The peephole slides open, and a pair of eyes look out. They go wide briefly, and then the door is swung open for her.

" Where've you been?" The bouncer asks. He's dressed to the nines in a silk tux.

" I've been busy, " Buffy answers, shortly.

" We thought you were dusted…"

" Well, pretty obvious, I'm not. " She walks into the club.

" Well, just as long as you remember the rules, love. No snacking on the premises. Take out, only!"

Buffy whirls on him, and commanding all her strength, she pushes him up against a wall. " You moron, I made this club. I made the rules. I don't forget!" She snarls at him.

" Of course, of course. I'm sorry!" He cowers, clearly afraid of what she might do.

" Instead of reading me the rules, how ' bout enforcing them?" She points at a couple sitting on a bench in the gallery. They're obviously making out, and they're necking. A little too much.

" Sorry, right away," the bouncer hurries away towards the couple.

Buffy casually walks over to the gallery, looking down on the main floor.

This is a vampire club. A place where the lonely, the bored and the Goth come to play at being the undead. It has a rich feel to the décor, all wood and velvet and low lights. On the walls are mounted large screen TV's playing a library of old vampire films. The dance floor, in the center, is outlined by footlights, and the bar up against the wall serves a variety of liqueurs and even pigs blood._ Gotta keep the rubes happy,_ Buffy chuckles to herself. Tables and overstuffed loveseats surround the dance floor, and on the upper gallery, where she is, velvet lined benches are placed strategically for those who like to observe.

Buffy leans on the railing, breathing in the scents and raw emotions. She scans the crowd, beginning her seeking phase. Her mouth begins to water in anticipation.

A pair of arms encircle her waist, and a body pushes up close behind her. A soft voice says into her ear, " Hello, lover."

" Hello, Zoë, " Buffy replies flatly, trying to ignoring her.

" 'Hello, Zoë', " the slender vampire says, hurt. " You go missing, you don't say squat, I'm worried you've been dusted; and then you show up suddenly, and all I get is ' Hello, Zoë ' ? " She pouts.

" I'm busy, Zoë, go away, " Buffy says dismissively.

" No, I won't ' go away'!" Zoë tightens her grip. " I've missed you, baby. How 'bout we…"

" I'm hunting, girl. Go away."

" I can help you hunt. I like to hunt, " Zoë says. She licks Buffy's neck. " C'mon baby…wait a minute. Wait a minute! You.. you… you're warm." She sniffs Buffy. " You're HUMAN!"

" Gee, Zoë, say it a little louder, why don't you?" Buffy says irritably. She reaches in her purse, and calmly extracts a small crucifix. She presses it against Zoë's hands.

She yelps, and pulls away.

" You hurt me!" Zoë mourns, rubbing her hand. " Why'd you hurt me?"

" Because you like it."

" Yeah," Zoë pouts, " but that wasn't a nice hurt. That was a mean hurt!"

Buffy turns to Zoë, and looks at her.

The thing that attracted Buffy to Zoë initially was her amazing resemblance to Dawn. She stood about the same height, was about the same build, had the long brown chestnut hair, just like her dead sister. Except for the beads and feathers Zoë tied in her hair. She had the same amazing blue eyes, the same nose… except for the nose ring… and the same sensual lips. Buffy had been fascinated by her the first time she wandered into the club. She made it a project to stalk her, and turned her, to make her a playmate.

Unfortunately, she didn't have the same wit and intelligence Dawn had had. Buffy soon grew bored with her. But Zoë was loyal to her , and worshiped Buffy. Always a good thing , in Buffy's opinion. And Buffy knew that despite her simplicity, she could be trusted. So, she kept her around as a pet, using and abusing her at will. And Zoë ate it up like cream.

" Aw, did I hurt my lil pet?" Buffy coos. She grabs Zoë's hair, and pulling hard, kisses her fiercely on the lips. " Better?"

"Yesss, " Zoë smiles, adoration shining in her eyes. Then she frowns." But you're human…" She brightens. " Let me make it better." She vamps out. " I can turn you back."

Buffy sniggers, and raises her hand. " Remember the rules, Zoë. No snacking."

" That's ok, we can go out in the alley…"

" Gee, really know how to romance a girl, don't you?" Buffy smirks.

" I'm sorry, " Zoë says. " Hey, we can go back to the nest. I kept it up. It's real sweet. I'll kill you slowly… make it last." Zoë looks hopefully at Buffy.

" No, I don't want to be turned. Not yet."

" Why not?" Zoë asks. " How'd they make you human, anyway?"

" Some of my ' friends' got together, casting some spell. Turned me into a human," Buffy shrugs. " and guess what? I wanna get them back."

" Really?" Zoë looks eager. " Like a slaughter?"

" No moron. Not a slaughter. I have plans." Buffy pauses, " How'd you like to taste the blood of a Slayer?"

" A Slayer?" Zoë gets a dreamy look. " I hear slayer's blood is like an aphrodisiac."

" It's sweet. I know, I've tasted her."

" The Slayer?"

" Mmmm-hmmm" Buffy smiles. "She's the one responsible for …" she gestures at herself, " … this, and I want to get her, particularly."

" What's your plan?"

" Working on it. But I'm gonna woo her, and make her want me… and then boom. Spring the trap. You'll sire me, and I'll sire her!"

"Wow!" Zoë exclaims. " Wait, if you take her, then … I thought I'd get a taste."

" Oh, c'mon baby. You know I share my kills with you. You'll get a taste, but I want the kill. I want to sire her, make her my bitch."

" Oooo, it sounds like fun, " Zoë, in her excitement, rubs up against Buffy. " God I want you so much. C'mon, lover. Come with me. We can just fuck. I won't eat you."

" Uh-uh. Love you Zoë, but you've got like zero self control. I'd be drained dry before you even gave me an orgasm."

" I wouldn't do that!" Zoë protests.

Buffy frowns, and grabs Zoë by her nose ring, pulling her close. " Are you calling me a liar, bitch?"

" N-N-Noo," Zoë whines, softly.

"What do you say?" Buffy tugs her ring.

" S-S-Sorry, "

" Sorry… what?"

" S-Sorry, Mistress."

Buffy releases the ring, and pulling her close, kisses the vampire tenderly on the cheek.

" You're my sweet pet?"

" Yes, Mistress."

Buffy sucks on Zoë's lip. " Do you love your Mistress?"

"Yesss, Mistress" Zoë sighs happily.

" Then give us a kiss," Buffy says softly

Zoë starts to tilt her head to kiss Buffy, but Buffy stops her. " Not there, girl"

Zoë looks puzzled, then smiles when the light goes on. She kneels in front of Buffy.

Buffy shivers in delight as she feels Zoë's cool tongue lap at her thong. She pushes her away.

" That's enough, baby, " She strokes her hair.

" Did I please you, Mistress?" Zoë looks up hopefully.

" Very much. Buffy loves her pet, " She pulls Zoë to her feet by her hair. " Now go be good and find a nice snack for yourself. I'm busy."

" Please, Buffy. Let me … please let me please you."

Buffy smiles. " I'm sorry. I want something fresh and warm tonight."

Zoë's face falls.

" Don't worry, love. We'll have lots of fun later. And remember, keep what we talked about secret. Just you and me, ok?"

" Of course, Buffy. You can trust me!"

" I know," Buffy reaches into her purse, and pulls out a stake. " Cuz, if you fuck up, you know what happens."

Zoë backs away in fear.

"Aw, c'mere, baby," Buffy draws her in, and licks her neck. She reaches around and squeezes her ass. " Now go play nice."

" Thank you, Mistress," Zoë says, as she flutters away into the crowd.

Buffy watches her go, and chuckles.

_Sweet little pet, but dumb! She'd believe any fairy tale I spun for her!_

Shaking her head, Buffy returns to scanning the crowd.

5

Buffy sighs. What a waste of a night.

She wanted something special for her ' welcome back' fuck, but it was the usual crowd of poseurs and vamp wannabes. Stupid costumes, insipid conversation, all talking about " The Lonely ones." _ God, what a bunch of freaks!_

Buffy turns away, ready to leave when she sees her. She is dressed so normal, so out of place, that Buffy's attention is immediately caught. Add that to the nervous looks and pouting frown, and Buffy was enraptured. She found her prey. Circling like a moth to a flame, she moved towards her target.

Nikki Walker looks around the club, and her stomach clenches. " God, why'd I come here again?" She muttered to herself. " The place is full of freaks."

_You came because Paula always comes here. You used to come here, remember?_

_Yeah, but I don't remember it being this freaky-deaky._

_Maybe because you only had eyes for Paula, and didn't care where you were._

_Yeah, and look how that worked out. The biotch dumped me!_

_She called you a plain Jane, and left you. Maybe, because you are?_

_I so am not! I came here, didn't I?_

_Yeah, and look how you're dressed. Like an office worker, for goodness sakes. Don't you ever take a chance?_

_I did. I came here, didn't I?_

_Yeah, looking for her._

_Did not._

_Did so!_

_Did…_

Nikki almost jumps out of her skin when a hand touches her shoulder. She whirls around, and nearly spills her drink.

" Whoa up, girl. I won't bite you!" Buffy laughs at her. She winks. " Unless of course, you want me to."

Nikki just stares. She can't believe this… vision… is talking to her. With the so cute hair, and the eyes, and the lips.. and the oh god she's almost naked clothing! And gorgeous. God, so gorgeous._ Ok, she's a little Goth, but god, she's so hot!_ Nikki smiles nervously, not trusting her voice.

" What's wrong, honey?" Buffy asks. She licks her lips sensuously, " Cat get your tongue?"

" N-No," Nikki finally manages. " I…I …"

Buffy smiles warmly at her, and rubs her shoulder. " Don't sweat it, love. I know, this place can be pretty freaky-deaky. What with all the 'atmosphere' and the costumes and hey, the generally full of themselves people?"

" Yeah, I guess, " Nikki agrees.

" So, this your first time?" Buffy loads up on the double entendre.

" No, I've been here before. Lots. I used to come with my girlfriend, Paula."

" Used to?"

" We broke up. She thought I was kinda… square."

" Really?" Buffy looks her up and down… twice." Her loss."

Nikki blushes prettily. _God, she's flirting with me!_

" So, " Buffy walks her fingers lightly down Nikki's spine, " See anything you want?"

Nikki begins to feel all tingly. She looks at Buffy with a touch of hunger in her eyes.

" Wanna dance?" Buffy asks, taking her hand.

" But… there's no music!"

" We'll make our own." Buffy smiles at her. She raises her fingers, and snaps them.

The DJ, recognizing her, puts on heavy driving, guitar heavy dance music.

" How'd you do that?" Nikki asks, amazed.

" Magic," Buffy winks.

They reach the dance floor, and Buffy immediately takes command. She takes Nikki's hand, and plops square on her ass, doing the same to Nikki. Her other hand grabs Nikki's free one, and they begin to dance across the floor. Buffy keeps eye contact with the girl, using her mouth and her breath to indicate her heat.

Nikki for her part feels like she's never felt before. _ God, Paula never paid attention to me like this!_ She feels Buffy's eyes undressing her, and she feels a deep blush rise up from her toes. Her whole body feels on fire, especially where Buffy has her hand on her ass. Her nipples are swelling in her bra, painfully so. And her sex is so beginning to get moist. _God, this girl makes dancing more exciting than any fucking Paula ever gave me!_ Nikki almost feels like she could cum on the dance floor.

Buffy can see and smell Nikki's excitement, and she gets more aggressive. She moves in on Nikki, rubbing her body up against her. She hears Nikki gasp, and Buffy smiles. She slows down her wriggle, making it like she's caressing her through her dress. Nikki leans against her, laying her head on Buffy's shoulder. Buffy feels her hot breath on her neck. _She's getting ready. Oh baby is she so ready!_

Buffy twirls the girl around, and twirling herself, begins to rub her ass against Nikki's warm butt. She reaches back, grasping Nikki's hips and pulls her up against her. She feels Nikki respond by grabbing her hips. Buffy smiles when she hears the soft sigh Nikki breathes out.

" Having fun?" Buffy says over the music.

" Oh yesss, " Nikki responds.

Nikki can't believe how incredibly hot she feels. Buffy's body and touches are making her crazy. Her mouth feels dry, and she's constantly wetting her lips. She feels feverish, and the only thing she can think of is how wonderful Buffy's body feels rubbing hers.

The music stops, and Nikki lets out a moan of disappointment. She looks at Buffy, hoping she'll start it up again.

" Aw,7 don't be sad, honey, " Buffy pouts her lips at her, making Nikki shiver in delight. " I can think of other fun things we can do!"

Hooking her arm through Nikki's, she leads her off the floor. Nikki follows like a lost child.

Buffy weaves through the tables and loveseats, leading Nikki into a dark corner. She sits on the sofa, and pulls Nikki down on her lap.

" Now, I'd really, really like to k…."

Buffy is cut off when Nikki glues her mouth on hers. She opens her mouth, and feels Nikki's tongue invade.

_Wow, I found me a little volcano. All ready to blow her cork!_

Buffy sucks on her tongue, and strokes her thigh. She can feel Nikki squirming in her lap, and she's almost burned by the heat she's putting out. Buffy moves her hand up under Nikki's blouse, and gently squeezes her breast through her bra. Nikki moans audibly into her mouth. Buffy slides her tongue into Nikki's mouth, and feels the girl sucking it like a cock.

_God, she's ready to explode! _ Buffy chuckles, feeling her own heat rising. She gently pushes Nikki away.

Nikki whimpers, wondering what she's done wrong. But her heart beats faster when she sees Buffy's wicked smile.

" Mmmm. This is nice, and if this is all you want, we can stay right here…" Buffy takes Nikki's hand, and surrounds her finger with her mouth, sucking it gently. She releases it. " … or, you could take me home." She puts her own finger to Nikki's mouth.

Nikki, in a sexual daze, opens her mouth and sucks in Buffy's finger. She swirls her tongue around it. When Buffy extracts it, her lips follow, trying to keep it.

" Oh god, please… I want you so much, " Nikki's voice is hoarse with passion.

" Then, take me home, lover, " Buffy says, taking Nikki's hand, and placing it on her breast. She uses her hand to squeeze Nikki's. " And unwrap me." Buffy says, throatily.

They get up, and Buffy gets a fresh whiff of Nikki's arousal. She feels her own sex begin to leak. _God, I'm so fucking horny. I hope we can make it._

Weaving a little, both a little wobbly on their feet, the girls make their way to the exit.

6

Buffy and Nikki barely make it inside Nikki's door before Nikki is tearing at Buffy's clothing, trying to get her naked.

" Whoa… lover, hold up, " Buffy laughs, gently pushing her away. " I said unwrap, not tear the paper off. This stuff isn't cheap."

" I want you so much!" Nikki cries out. She's almost weaving in place, she's so hot.

" And I want you, lover doll. But we've got time, and it's so much nicer if we go a little slower."

Nikki whimpers, but complies. She grabs Buffy's hand, and starts leading her deeper into the house.

They enter the bedroom, and there's a huge four poster bed dominating the space. The whole room reflects Nikki's tastes: Lacy, feminine and soft. She leads Buffy to the bed, and looks at her, waiting instruction. Her whole body is shaking in desire.

But Buffy is nothing if not a tease. " I think you're way too eager to rip my clothes off, so I'll take care of that myself, thanks." Winking. She starts to move around the room, casually looking at things as she slowly disrobes. She turns back to look at Nikki, to see the effect she's having, and chuckles to herself when she sees Nikki had already lost her clothing, standing in just her bra and panties. Buffy keeps it up, slowly unbuttoning her blouse, and looking around. She notices a drawer half open, and dropping her blouse casually on the floor, investigates.

Inside is a collection of girl toys. Buffy smiles at the variety and quantity, realizing little Miss Innocent isn't quite as innocent as she puts on. But then she stops. She reaches in, and brings out a harness. On it is attached a rather long, penile shaped device. She grins.

"What's this?"

" That's my strap-on, " Nikki says, in an almost child like voice. " Paula used to like me to use it on her."

" On her, huh?" Buffy says, looking at Nikki, " but she never returned the favor?"

" N-No," Nikki stutters, imagining what's going through Buffy's mind._ Oh, please, oh please!_ She begs every sex god she knows.

Buffy, smiling devilishly, unzips her leather mini, wriggling out of it. She lets it fall to her feet, and then flings it away with her foot.

Nikki gasps. Buffy is standing before her in stockings, sexy boots, a garter belt and thong. She feels her sex quiver in anticipation.

Buffy lifts the toy . She brings it to her mouth, and licks it along the length.

" Let's get wicked" Buffy leers at her.

Later, much later, Buffy slips quietly out of Nikki's bed. She wanders around quietly, collecting her clothing.

She smiles at the wild woman that she just had her way with. She remembers how Nikki screamed out her name as Buffy used her toy on her, then insisted on using it on Buffy, bringing her own screams. Then they found other ways to make themselves hot and happy. She fondly remembers Nikki's clever use of finger and tongue to bring her off, and how Nikki seemed to be fascinated by her perky little breasts. Nikki herself was hiding quite a nice set herself, and Buffy enjoyed mouthing, and tonguing them, and at Nikki's groaning acquiescence, biting them til they bled. Then she lapped the blood, and Nikki screamed as she came. Then Buffy taught her how to bring herself off without anything but her lover sex rubbing against her own. _God, she'd loved that, _Buffy leered, thinking how Nikki kept at it til she brought Buffy off a few more times.

Buffy sighed. But the night was fading, and morning coming. Time to go home, To be sweet little Buffy again.

To get her sweet Faith, to make her Buffy's bitch. Or her mistress. Whatever Faith wanted.

As long as she was hers.

And only hers.

Buffy slipped quietly out of the bedroom.

7

Buffy stumbles out of bed at 8 a.m. still exhausted from her nocturnal adventure. But she smiles; for now, the itch if not gone, is beaten back. She's in control again, and can handle whatever nonsense might come._ Mmm…or cum._

Hopping in the shower, she praises the god of water for the warm spray that covers her. She closes her eyes, and lets the tiny little needles do their thing. Soaping up the loofah, she starts to cleanse her body of Nikki's sweet odors. Her hand moves lower, and she gasps at how sensitive she still is.

Her mind wanders, and it's no longer Nikki she's with, but Faith. Her hand, working on it's own, starts rubbing circles around her mound. She imagines Faith doing her, making her. Her breathing comes heavier as her excitement builds. She imagines Faith hot lips on her breasts, teasing and pleasing her. Suddenly she shudders violently, and has to lean against the wall not to fall. That orgasm hit her hard and fast, and she can barely think.

Stepping out of the shower, flushed, Buffy walks over to the sink and splashes cold water on her face. She carefully grooms herself, paying particular attention to her hair. Sated, and satisfied, she walks back to her room to dress.

Trotting down the stairs, Buffy stops midway. On the coffee table she sees a series of scrapbooks spread. Her mom is sitting on the sofa, facing away, looking at them.

_Oh god, no! _ Buffy groans internally._ Beat me, cut me, but god, no scrapbooks!_

She turns and starts back up when Joyce voice freezes her.

" Hey, sleepyhead, wasn't sure if you were ever going to get up."

Buffy turns around, smile plastered on her face.

" Hi, mom!" She says, starting down stairs.

Joyce comes to her, looking worried. " God, Buffy, you look awful." She remembers their discussion last night. " Bad dreams?"

Buffy nods, frowning. " Lots of them. All night. Didn't get much sleep."

" Poor baby, " Joyce coos sympathetically. " Now, don't tear my head off, but don't you think it'd be a good idea to see a therapist about the dreams honey? I'm sure he or she could…"

" Right mom, I'm going to go to some shrink and tell him I'm dreaming of being a vampire? God, they'd throw me in the loony bin faster than the speed of light, and throw away the key!"

" Well, not just any therapist, honey. I'm sure Mr. Giles could find someone with …"

" No mom, they're just dreams. I'll get over them. No shrinks!"

" Ok, honey, " Joyce backs off, " I just thought…"

Buffy forces down her irritation. " It's ok, mom," She goes over and puts her hand on Joyce's arm. " I'm sorry, I know you're just thinking of me. If things don't get better soon, I'll think about it, ok?" She smiles brightly.

Joyce smiles. " Ok, honey. Hey, how about some breakfast. I can make you some waffles."

" No, that's ok, mom, Not real hungry. I'll just get some juice."

" Buffy, you're thin as a rail. You got to eat something. Breakfast is important."

" Thank you, Dr. Summers, " Buffy teases her. " Ok, I'll fix some cereal or something. Satisfied?"

" Thanks, honey." Joyce pinches her, " It's just that you're so skinny!"

"Mom!" Buffy blushes, embarrassed.

Buffy head for the kitchen, as Joyce returns to the sofa.

" So, mom, what's the big talk gonna be about today?" Buffy calls out from the kitchen.

She is fervently hoping that if she talks, she can avoid the scrapbook-a-palooza. Her hopes are soon dashed, however.

" Well, not a big talk so much, as maybe we'd chat, and look over old scrapbooks."

" Aw, mom, " Buffy groans, letting her displeasure be clear.

" Honey, you know what Mr. Giles said. It's important we stimulate your old memories, so you can try to remember the … bad time. You can't really deal until you face it, honey."

"I just don't see how this is going to help, mom." Buffy complained as she carried in a bowl of cereal. She sat down opposite her mom in one of the chairs." You guys already told me what I did; what I was. How is remembering it going to make it better?"

" Buffy, you can know something in your head, but until you get it in your heart, you can't begin to feel the impact of it," Joyce says quietly," and until then, until you feel it, and feel the remorse for it, you can't move on."

" I already feel bad, mom. I feel horrible knowing what I've done."

" I'm not saying your not, honey. But you're not going to be able to put it in perspective, realize that you're not at fault, until you remember who you are, where you came from. What you believe in. Right now it's not real to you. You know it, but it's not real. Until it's real, and then you get past it, you're going to be stuck hiding," Joyce pauses, " I think these horrible dreams you're having is your subconscious mind trying to deal with it."

" Ok mom, " Buffy says wearily, " if this is what you want to do, let's do it."

" Buffy, you can't go in with that attitude, or we're wasting our time here. You have to have an open mind about it."

" Ok, ok. I've opened all the doors and windows, pulled back the blinds and shades. This is as open as it gets," Buffy says.

They spent the next hour going over old photographs, talking about their days in L.A. and the first days in Sunnydale. They laughed, cried, teased each other, made rude comments; in short, they communicated like they hadn't in a long time. Buffy made faces whenever mom would bring out a particularly embarrassing picture of her and start cooing over it, remembering what led to that photographic catastrophe. Buffy made fun of Mom's 70's clothing and Farrah hair, and they both cried over pictures of Dawn. It was the closest, the most honest, they'd been in months. Years.

Buffy got suspicious, however, towards the end. Pictures of Ford, a.k.a Billy Fordham, mysteriously kept popping into the discussion. Ford and Buffy at their first cotillion together. All the pictures of the summer Ford spent with them in Carmel. The pictures of their school play together, where Ford was the romantic male lead, and Buffy had a bit part. The pictures of Ford taking Buffy to the Fiesta Dance. Buffy finally busted her mom on it.

" Ok, mom. Don't get me wrong. I love Ford, even if I haven't seen him in like, forever, but what's the 411 here? Why are we having the Ford show?"

"Well Buffy, Billy was a big part of your life then. He was your best friend."

" No mom, Amy Tanner was my bestest bud. Also Melissa Wilson. Ford just kind of hung around with us. Ok, ok, I had that big 5th grade crush on him, and he did spend that summer with us. But he wasn't like that big of a deal. And that's way ancient history, to boot. For all I know, he's married, has a pot belly and watches football for fun."

" Buffy, he's one year older than you. Hardly likely he has a potbelly quite yet. Unless, " Joyce deadpans, " are your boobs beginning to sag honey?"

"MOM!" Buffy turns red. "That's…."

But Joyce is laughing merrily, and Buffy catches it, and starts laughing too. They're laughing so hard the almost don't hear the front doorbell.

"Mom, door, mom, " Buffy waves at the door, giggling.

" Why don't you get it, daughter o' mine?" Joyce laughs.

" Because, you're closer. And I look like poop!"

" Don't be silly, you look great."

" Mom, the door!"

" Ok, ok, but I've raised a spoiled, lazy child. I hope your happy making your mom answer the door red-faced."

" Why mom? Is it your secret boyfriend, and you want to primp a little before he sees you?" Buffy teases her.

" Grrrr," Joyce says, but she walks to the door to answer it.

" Maybe it's Ed McMahon with your million dollar check. Did you think of that, Mom?" Buffy calls out after her.

Joyce waves her off as she reaches the front door. She opens it, already knowing who it is.

" Sorry, Mrs. Summers. I don't have a million dollars for you. Would you accept," Billy Fordham digs in his pockets and brings out 3 quarters." Ummm… 75 cents and a promissory note?"

Joyce laughs. " Billy! Billy Fordham. What a surprise!"

Buffy is out of her seat, running for the stairs. " What is this? Some kind of game?" She growls as she heads upstairs.

" Buffy? Buffy! BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS, YOU STOP IN YOUR TRACKS IMMEDIATELY!"

Buffy stops cold. She's facing away, which is just as well, because if looks could kill, there'd be two very dead people in the entry hall at the moment.

" What the hell are you pulling?" Buffy says, angrily from the stairs, "What is this?"

" Oh chill out, Summers, " Ford says, walking toward the staircase, "not the first time I've seen you in sweats and having a really bad hair day!"

Buffy turns on the stairs, her face red with anger. " What the hell kind of crap are you pulling, MOTHER?" Buffy's jaw is tight with tension. " isn't it just the most AMAZING coincidence after spending the last hour having the " This is your life" Show starring one William Fordham, who shows up at the door, but said same William?"

" Buffy Summers. You get yourself down those stairs, and stop acting like a child," Joyce says. She turns to Ford. " I'm so sorry, Billy. I don't know what's gotten into my daughter!"

" Hey, Mrs. Summers, it's ok. Maybe this was just a bad time to stop by. Maybe…"

" No, you wait right there, Ford, " Buffy leaps from the middle steps down onto the floor. " So, just stop by? You just happened to be in the neighborhood. So, where did you just ' drop by' from? L.A? Maybe San Francisco? New York? Cleveland? How 'bout Philadelphia? Huh? You just happened to be in the neighborhood?"

" Actually, Summers, kind of. I live over in the Crestwood Apartments oh… how far would you say it is, Mrs. Summers? 3 blocks, 4 blocks over?"

" Something like that, Billy, " Joyce agrees.

"WHAT?" Buffy stands opened mouthed. " Here? You live here? In Sunnydale?"

" Uh… yeah?" Ford replies, as if he's not entirely sure.

" Since, when? You've been here how long, and haven't looked me up?" Buffy's fury has transferred from mom to Billy… for the moment.

" Er… ' bout a week, maybe? I got a job as a press officer over at City Hall, and I moved here a week ago. I ran into your mom about two days ago at the Albertson's. We both nearly fainted, cuz I didn't know you all were living here, and here's someone from my past. I asked about you, and your mom said you still lived here, and had been sick… so, I asked if I could drop by, catch up… maybe not such a good idea, now that I think about it."

" Oh, " Buffy stand, silent and reddening again, this time from embarrassment. " Ok, color me stupid." She looks at her mom, who signals no she didn't tell him what she was sick with. " guess, well…ok, ummm… oh ,dear. … YES! COMING" Buffy bolts up the stairs.

Ford turns to Joyce, and starts to laugh. " She still does that, huh?"

Joyce nods, " Yes, every time she makes a fool out of herself. Could you wait here while I go retrieve my missing daughter?"

" Sure," Ford smiles.

Joyce goes up the stairs, leaving Ford to fend for himself.

Billy Fordham is not what you'd call a stunningly handsome fellow. He stands about 5'10", is on the lean and wiry side, not at all what you'd call muscular. His ears are slightly too large, and his nose is …well, just a little sharp. But he has a pleasant face, and when he smiles, it's just like the sun rose.

After a few minutes, Joyce returns with a somewhat chastened, though primped, Buffy in tow.

" Hey, Ford, " Buffy says quietly, " nice to see you again."

" Hey, back at you, Summers."

Suddenly a huge smile breaks out on Buffy's face, and she runs downstairs, nearly knocking over Ford when she jumps into his arms, giving him a massive hug.

" You big goof!" Buffy kisses him on the cheek, " Why didn't you tell me you were here?"

Ford laughs, and sets her down on her feet. " Well, you dope, I didn't even know _you_ lived here, until I saw your mom, and she said you'd been sick, and I went oh- oh. I imagined you looking like a holocaust survivor with a bald head and all dark eyed and tragic. Wasn't sure I was ready for that."

" MOTHER!" Buffy cries to Joyce, "What did you tell him I had? Terminal brattiness?"

"Well, that's for sure, " Joyce and Ford say at the same time. They look at each other, and laugh.

" You two, with all your plots and schemes, I swear, " Buffy growls playfully. She grabs Ford hand, and with some effort drags him to the sofa. " So, what's the 411 Ford? Did you graduate from Hemery? Well, yes I guess you did, but did you go to college? Press officer? That means you write? Or just tell lies to the press? Are you married? Have kids? She better damned well be cute if she replaced _me _ in your affections. Are you rich?" Buffy peppers poor Ford with a thousand questions.

" Geeze. Buff. I just got here, " Ford puts up his hands in surrender. " Let me see. Yes, Yes. Yes. Sort of. No. No. Would I be in Sunnydale if I were?"

Buffy's brow furrows. " No way, Buster. You don't get off that light. I want details… the more lurid, the better!"

"What do you want me to say, Summers? I graduated from Hemery, went to USC for awhile. As an engineering major. Hated it, dropped out for awhile and bummed around. Went back to UCLA, got a degree in journalism. Been on a few different rags, but no big papers. I think you have to wait for someone to die to get on like the L.A. Times or The Washington Post. Bummed around some more, saw an ad in the Sunnydale Times for a Press officer at City Hall, applied, got it. And well, here I am."

" Ok, ok but I want the important stuff. You know, girlfriends, wife, kids, divorce, what's the real sitch here, Ford? I seem to remember the girls flocked around you at Hemery."

" All except you, Summers. You wouldn't give me the time of day."

" Hey, buster! You had your chance. You rejected me, remember? I had the hugest crush on you in Fifth grade. I nearly wore out the Divinyls' " I touch myself" over you, you cad!"

" Well, I was a manly 6th grader, Summers. I couldn't be bothered with a younger woman!" He thinks about what Buffy said, and gets a wicked grin on his face. " Nice image, Summers, thanks".

" You're terrible!" Buffy hits him. " Now spill it, and I want details."

" Really, Summers, not a whole lot to tell. I mean, sure, I had girlfriends. Wasn't living like a monk. But no one memorable… well, except you… who could forget you, and live, huh? But I mean, none I wanted to settle down with. And kids? Hope not, none that I know about, anyway. So, that's it, my romantic life in a nutshell."

" Pathetic, Ford. In a word, sad." Buffy grins ruefully, " of course, I should talk. I've had exactly 2 serious boyfriendly relationships since I knew you, and they crashed and burned. They left me. Moved out of town, literally." Buffy grins. " Well, one is back."

" Oh? Serious? A rekindling of the old sparkage, Summers?"

" Huh? No way. Trust me, we don't want to get into sparkage there. It ended… really badly. Just say he heard I got sick, and came up to visit."

" Sounds like a nice enough guy."

" Oh yeah, he's a good enough guy. I think he has boundaries issues, but otherwise a sweetheart."

" Buffy, now that's not fair. Angel was just … looking out for you."

" Uh-huh, mom, got it. By lurking in the background being all broody and stuff."

" Is he like a stalker?" Ford asks. " Should I get all manly and tell him to get lost?" He grins.

" Would you?"

" Buffy!" Joyce chides her.

" Ok, ok, only kidding mom. No, he's ok, Ford. Really."

" Ok, but if you need me, I'll get out my wimpy muscles and take him on, no problem, Summers."

" I dunno, Ford," Buffy feels his arm, " you feel like you've been working out."

" Goodness, where are my manners," Joyce says, standing up. " You've been here all this time, and I haven't offered you anything to drink. Can I get you something, Billy?" She makes a little face. " I'm sorry, but with my dear daughter's antics, it just slipped my mind!"

" MOM!" Buffy protests.

" Water would be great, Mrs. Summers."

" And you, my dear but slightly crazy daughter?"

" Geeze, if you're going to be that way, I'll just leave now!" Buffy pouts.

" C'mon, Summers. Lighten up. You did get kind of radical there."

" Well, I was a mess, and my mother didn't tell me we were having company!"

"Geeze, when have I been company? I thought we were pals."

" Ok, pals. Pals with a measure of cutesomeness." Buffy touches her hair.

" You look great, Summers, and you know it!"

" Yes, and a girl loves it hear it often , with feeling." Buffy smiles.

" Buffy? Did you want anything?"

" Water, mom, please."

" Ok be back," Joyce walks towards the kitchen.

Buffy watches her go, nodding her head sagely. " I think she's doing the not so subtle give the kids some time alone thing moms do."

"Well, you got a pretty cool mom, Buff, " Ford says.

" Yeah, everyone tells me that, " Buffy smiles, " Guess it's gotta be true."

" You guys having some problems?"

" No, nothing like that. Just the normal mother daughter makes each other crazy stuff."

" Well, enjoy it while you can, Summers. They kind of die you know, " Ford looks a little sad.

Buffy gets it. " Oh, Ford. You're mom? When?"

" ' Bout five years ago, Buff. She had a brain tumor. They thought they got it all, but I guess they didn't … she died suddenly."

" Oh honey," Buffy hugs him.

" It's ok, Summers. It was awhile ago. I'm over it now, " Ford smiles, " of course, if you want to go on hugging me, I won't object."

" Did I mention you're terrible!" Buffy says, but she lingers in the hug, finally letting him go. " How'd your dad take it?"

" Oh, how would he? He was broken up. But he met someone a year ago, and they're happy now. Remarried, moved to Florida."

" Well, that's cool."

" Yeah," Ford nods, " I'm jazzed he's happy again."

" Jazzed? Ford, retro, you know?"

"Geeze. Summers. We can't all butcher English like you do."

" Ha, ha, real to the funny, guy."

" See what I mean?"

She hits him.

" You hit all your friends? Or just the guys?"

Buffy gives him a dirty look.

"MOM? How's that water coming?" Buffy calls out, " Ford has brain fever!"

"Coming, honey. Just waiting for it to be delivered from the Alps, dear."

" Ha, ha funny mom. You and Ford should go on the road!"

Joyce walks in, carrying two bottles of water, and a big plate of cookies.

" Here you go, guys. Sorry, hope you don't mind, but dear old mom has to earn a living so her lazy daughter can eat. I've got to go into the gallery, we have a big shipment due today."

" I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Summers." Ford stands up, " Was hoping we could catch up some more."

" Oh, you don't have to leave, Billy. My daughter, you know, the one who never goes out these days, could use the company, I think. I mean, it's not like she's going out or anything."

" Gee, mom, real subtle. Hope you got the deposit back on that steamroller."

" Well, it was good seeing you again. Mrs. Summers," Ford puts out his hand.

" You too, Billy. Nice to see someone with manners, and who is really sort of cute, if my daughter would open her eyes, come around."

" Mom, you make nagging a fine art."

" I try, honey, I try, " Joyce says, " Nice seeing you again, Billy. Bye now."

" Bye Mom, don't run over any potholes on your way to returning that steamroller."

" Goodbye, sweet daughter o' mine, " Joyce walks to the front door, and exits.

"Sorry about that, Ford. We're going to have my mom committed next week."

" I heard that, Buffy!" Joyce yells through the door.

" GO TO WORK, MOM!" Buffy yells back. She rolls her eyes.

"Actually, Buff, I'm kind of glad I've got you alone."

" Oh really, Billy Fordham?" Buffy bats her eyelashes, "Are you coming on to me, sir?"

" Get serious, Summers, " Ford teases her. " Actually, I'm dying to ask you something."

" Well, ok. But it's been ages since I've played doctor, but I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

" Tempting as that is, I really have something to ask you."

" Ok, but your loss. Mine is shaved…"

" SUMMERS!"

" Ok, ok, geeze, Ford. When did you get to be a stick?"

" Seems around the time you became a slut, " Ford says.

"Ok, watch it buster, or I'll beat you up!"

" Actually, that's kind of what I want to ask you."

" Oh? Gee, didn't know you were into being a sub. But I bet you're cute as hell in a dog collar."

"No, Summers. I wanted to ask if you're… well, if your still into like… you know… do you still have a stake in it?"

" Stake in what?"

" you know…." Billy makes a fist and pumps his arm.

" GEEZE, FORD! Talk about dirty… but… hey, if that's what you want…" Buffy grins.

He looks at her with a strange expression, then gets it and blushes. Seeing a pencil on the table, he grabs it and does the same thing.

" Huh?" Buffy pretends ignorance. " Ok, from the dirty to the crazy."

" I know your secret, Summers."

" Ford! You promised you'd never tell how I won that ninth grade beauty pageant!"

" Ok, now you're beginning to bug me. I know about you Summers. That you're a slayer."

" Huh?" Buffy keeps up the act. " I'm so not part of a never was metal punk band."

" Ok, Summers. You can play dumb all you want, but I've known since the famous gym fire at Hemery that you're the Vampire Slayer."

Buffy looks at him intently. " Really? You know?" She is suspicious. "how?"

" I saw you actually slay some vamps once. Ok, I was hiding, but I saw what I saw."

" Wow, that's… wow, " Buffy is a little taken aback.

" Further, Buffy. I blame you for dropping out of engineer and becoming a writer."

" Like… huh?"

" Because of you, my slightly blond pom-pom waving turned vampire slayer girl, I got really interested in the whole demonology thing. I wanted to know more about you, what it was you were doing and all. The more I dug, the more fascinated I became. It's been kind of like my hobby since high school. Learning about slayers and vampires and all varieties of weirdness."

" Oh, so I'm like weird now. Well, thanks, " Buffy pouts prettily.

" Hardly. But the stuff you do? The things you face? That's weird. So, anyway, I got the idea that I wanted to write about it. About you and your dealings with the weird, and all that. So, I finally devoted my free time to becoming a better writer, and changed majors, and the whole nine yards. And it was because of you, Buffy."

" Wow… thanks. I think."

" So when I heard there was an opening for a press officer in the City of Sunnydale, I jumped on it. I mean, how many times do you get to live on an actual Hellmouth."

" Well, according to Giles, there's another one in Cleveland."

" Really? Giles… would that be Rupert Giles?"

" Yeah? So?"

" You know him? Man, I'd love to meet him. He's like an expert on the subject."

" Know him? God , I hope so, He's my watcher. Well, was anyway."

" Watcher? As in Watcher's council? I thought they were a myth."

" Oh, you believe in slayers, but the council is a myth?" Buffy's amused.

" Well, I actually saw a slayer in action. But the council? Really shadowy organization. Not much on them except rumors, really."

" Yes, well, I'll intro you one of these days. You can bore each other silly."

" Hey!" Ford protests. " Hey. You said was. He's not your watcher anymore?"

" No… don't have one or need one. Lost my powers. Just a girl now."

" I kind of doubt that."

" Oh, really? Well, I'll take you upstairs and prove it if you like,' Buffy teases him.

" I mean, about being ' just a girl'. I mean, I can see you're a girl, Buffy. Not blind."

" I was kinda wondering there, guy."

" You're a terrible flirt, you know that, right?"

" Maybe, but I'm pretty good in bed."

" Geeze, Buffy. You've got sex on the brain."

" You're not like… gay, are you?"

" No!"

" Ok, just wondering…"

" Why're you coming on to me. Not that I'm not liking it, but it's…weird."

" God, not you too!" Buffy moves away from him.

" Whoa, Summers. Wait, I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I'm really sorry."

" Oh, just go away , Ford. I'm sick to death of everyone being weirded out by me."

" Buffy, I'm sorry. I … I wasn't trying to be mean, it's just that it's all kind of taking me by surprise. I mean, we haven't seen each other in nearly 7 years, and all of a sudden you're trying to get my pants off. You gotta admit it's a bit on the …well, unusual side."

" God, is it so terrible to want a little touch? I mean, I'm kind of alone, and feeling like everyone is so not liking me, and you're cute, and we're healthy and all, and hey… oh, just forget it, ok?"

" Buffy, what is it? What's wrong?"

" Nothing. I just… oh, nothing!" Buffy turns away.

Ford moves over, and gently takes Buffy in his arms. She pushes him away, but he persists.

" Buff, c'mon, look at me. Look at me, " he waits. Finally Buffy looks at him. " believe me when I say, I'm totally attracted to you, and it has nothing to do with weirdness. I'm going to confess something to you, and I hope you'll keep this amongst us."

" Ok," Buffy says, quietly.

" I kind of lied to your mom. A big reason I came here was to see you. I really missed you, Summers, in ways I don't like to admit. I know I spurned you in 6th grade, but in the ninth, I had major crushing on you."

" You never said a word!"

" Well, you were like a cheerleader, and always with the jocks, so I kinda figured a guy like me didn't stand a chance with you."

" You dummy, " Buffy hits his arm. " God, moron. There were definitely boy friendly feelings when It came to you. All you had to say was boo, and I probably woulda swooned."

" Ok, then you're right, I'm a major dope. But when I learned about you, and what you were, it got me fascinated in you in whole new ways. And all these years? Been working up the nerve to look you up again. Hoping maybe…"

Buffy interrupts him with a tiny kiss on the lips.

" Oh, " He says, a little surprised. " So, maybe?"

" Well, maybe, " Buffy says, coquettishly. " But you're gonna have to do the boy friendly thing now."

" Huh?"

" Well, date me, stupid."

" Oh… oh!" Ford smiles. " So, wanna go out then?"

" Gee, I don't know…" Buffy plays coy. " Ok, when?" enough with the coy.

" I dunno… you busy tonight?"

" Gee… Let me think. Well, if I move that around, and I change that to Thursday… Ok, tonight works for me." She smiles at him.

" Really?"

" No you dope. Come back next year and ask me. Of course, really!"

" Ok, ummm… so I pick you up around sevenish?"

" Yeah, that'll work."

" Uh… good, then," Ford stands up, " I better go, let you get ready."

"Ford, it's like 11 am. 7 is like 8 hours away."

" Yeah, well, you're a girl. That might not be enough time. Make it 8?" He teases.

"Grrr." Buffy hits him, yet again.

" And again, she hits me!" Ford complains, not at all.

" You know, Ford. It IS 8 hours away. I mean, you don't HAVE to rush off. I'm pretty sure we could find something to do…" Buffy glances upstairs.

" Thanks, Buffy. But a tip? Let the guy woo you a bit? Wine you, dine you, get you drunk, and then take advantage? We kind of like to pursue, you know."

" Ok, if that's how you wanna play it, " Buffy says. She comes over, and pulls on his lapels, giving him a much warmer kiss than before. " But I'm telling you. Once I get you in bed, you're gonna be kicking yourself for not taking me up on the offer!"

" Maybe, but I'm patient."

" Don't be too patient, honey. A girl likes to know she's getting you interested."

" Ok, ok. Summers. Enough, ok?" Ford laughs. " See you at 7."

" You bet. With bells on."

" Never did understand what that means. With bells on. Exactly where would those bells be?"

" Hmmm… well, you're just gonna have to find out, aren't you?" Buffy giggles. " Now scoot. I mean, I only have 8 hours to get ready!"

" Bye. Summers, you slut."

" Bye, Ford, you stick!"

Buffy watches him leave, and she sits on the couch. Her eyes narrow, and she smiles to herself.

_This is too good. Too good. This could work out just nicely. _

She stands, and walks towards the stairs. She feels a need to visit her ' special ' place.

Her lover's waiting for her.

With bells on.

To be continued.


	5. Chapter 5

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part Five

Disclaimer: Joss owns the characters. I own the story, so don't blame him.

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." Oscar Wilde 

1

Buffy sits in her room, primping for her date with Ford.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror, and wonders sometimes if that's really her, or some stranger looking out on her world, watching her, judging her.

Her dress, her manner is so different from last night's little adventure. She sits as before, nearly nude, dressed merely in a pair of white lace French cut panties. Unlike last night, however, there isn't a hard edginess to her, rather, there is a soft glow, her skin still glowing from her shower.

She applies her makeup, totally different from last night. Subtler, she applies a wet look lip gloss, a pearly pink color to her lips. Her base matches her skin tone. She does her eyes, using a gold shadow to emphasize the gold highlights of her hazel eyes. Dipping her finger in sparkle, she applies the lightest coat, just enough to give a slightly exotic edge to her otherwise soft, more innocent look.

She stands, and walking to her dresser, retrieves a pair of white stockings. Slipping them on, she again enjoys the sensual feel of the nylons encasing her legs. She retrieves a white, lacy garter belt, and dons it. Unlike last night, she also retrieves a bra, demi cup with lace accents. She slips it on, and then walks to the closet to retrieve her dress.

Back at the vanity, she checks herself out critically, turning this way and that, nodding her approval. _One advantage, human. You can see yourself in the mirror._ She slips on her dress and takes a look.

Her dress is a simple cocktail dress, eggshell in color. It fits nicely, not too tightly, just giving the suggestion of sensuality and innocent sexiness. Just the look she's going for.

_My, my, don't we look like the sweet little thing,_ she giggles to herself.

" Mirror, mirror on the wall, will I make my sweet Ford fall?"

She smiles to herself, knowing the poor boy doesn't stand a chance.

Walking to her closet, she slips into a pair of sandals, and then retrieves a single strand peal necklace from her jewelry tree. She grabs her purse, a small shoulder clutch, and walks again to get the final result.

She stands, a picture of sweetness. Her soft blonde hair cascades down to her shoulders, framing her face in a soft golden glow. Her make up looks so innocent, but little touches suggest hidden naughtiness. Her dress hangs just so, giving a nice round curve to her hips and bottom, and the under wire demi cup bra gives her breasts just a tiny lift, making them seem fuller. She likes what she sees, and is pretty sure Ford will too.

_To early yet to show him the wild side. Mmmm… but I wonder how he'd react to it?_

Giggling to herself, she leaves the bedroom, ready for conquest.

" Sweetheart, you look so pretty tonight!" Joyce exclaims, watching her daughter descend the stairs.

Buffy blushes modestly, and waves her hand. " Aw, mom. You'd say that if I came down in burlap."

" But you do, honey. It's so good to see you dressing up again. Now, admit it. Wasn't it wise of your old mom to invite Billy over for a little chat?"

" Why am I thinking this is going to be one of those ' Mother knows best' moments?" She teases Joyce. " Ok, it's nice to see Ford again, I admit. He makes me laugh. But it's only casual mom."

" I don't know, Buffy. The way he was looking at you today, it sure seemed more than casual , at least on his part."

" Mom! Geeze, we're just friends. You know? It's not a big. We're two friends going out for drinks and dancing, and oh yes, I'll let him buy me dinner if he offers. But it's not anything more than that. Ford is like… well, like one of the girls. Know what I mean?"

" I see. So, tell me Buffy. Do you always spend like two hours getting prepared to go out with one of the girls? Another hour going back and forth over what dress to wear, and complaining you've got nothing, absolutely nothing to wear? Oh, and is that perfume I smell, darling daughter? Is that standard equipment for a girls night out? And those are your best pearls, if I recall right."

" Not serious, mom. But hey, I like being able to get a little girly, you know? And if Mr. Fordham just happens to notice, and approve, I'm going to like get upset?"

" Alright. I'm just mom, what do I know, Oh wise daughter? But I'm telling you, Billy is taking more than a casual interest in you."

" Mom, he's a guy. Guys only want one thing from a girl. So of course, he's sniffing around a little. It's what guys do!"

" Buffy Summers!" Joyce shakes her head, a little sadly, " I was hoping you'd at least hit forty before you got that cynical!"

" Oh, mom, please. Get real!" Buffy shrugs , " Faith says that…"

" Well, Ms. Faith has had a different experience that you. I can imagine the kind of guys she's hung out with!"

" Mom, doesn't matter. From Manimal to someone who watches chick flicks and cries, they're all the same. Faith says that, and I gotta back her up on this."

" Billy Fordham is a nice boy!" Joyce insists.

" Ah , mom, " Buffy hugs her, " I gotta love you. You're so … innocent. There aren't no such animals… nice guys!" Buffy makes a rude sound. " By the way, is Faith around? I so totally want her to check out the dress, you know? See if it has boyfriendliness ."

" No honey, she left awhile ago."

" Oh?" Buffy looks disappointed. More than one would normally expect. " Did she say where she was going?"

" She had an appointment at the hospital this evening, remember?"

" Huh? Is she still going there? I thought she was like 5 x 5, you know? That's what she told me…" Buffy frowns.

" Buffy, you have to remember, she was pretty banged up. She's still having some pain."

" I don't get it, mom. She's a slayer, she should be healed up by now."

" Buffy, she took two pretty severe beatings in a week. It's only been two weeks since. The doctors are just being thorough. Don't fret, sweetie, she'll be fine."

" She's hurt? She's still hurt?" Buffy looks very worried.

" No, baby, just some … well, twinges when she stretches out some. It's not a big deal. They just want to be sure everything is healing up right."

" Oh, man," Buffy starts to pace around. " Oh man, it was me. I did this to her. God, I'm such a fucking monster! How could I hurt her like that? She's got to be mad at me. She's got to really hate me. Sometimes I wish they'd just staked me."

" Buffy!" Joyce is shocked, " don't even say that!"

" Well, it's true. I hate this. I hate how everyone treats me like I'll go crazy and start killing again any second. It's all ' walk on eggshells around Buffy, cuz she's all wiggy, and we don't have a clue what'll set her off. ' " Buffy sits down on the bottom step, face in hands." Why can't they just treat me normal? Call me whatever, get in my face, but just act like I'm Buffy… not some… damn!"

" Buffy, it's been barely more than two weeks since everything happened. You've got to be a little patient with people, honey. They're still adjusting to having you back. We thought we lost you forever, honey. Having you back is … wonderful, but a little strange, too. So, I know it's hard, but try to be a little understanding of their feelings, ok?"

" I know their dealing. I get that, and I'm trying to deal too. But I'm making an effort here to put it behind us, act like normal girl again, but it's hard when everyone seems to be afraid of you."

" Buffy, I don't want to seem harsh here, but are you really acting normally? You hide in this house all day, mostly up in your room doing who knows what. Trying to get you out the door is a major event. When you told me you had a date with Billy tonight, I was tempted to call a press event."

" That's right, mom, " Buffy says with a bitter edge, " make fun of insane-psycho girl. Kinda easy target, don't you think?" She looks at Joyce , her eyes over bright, " What do you expect from me, any of you? I read that journal of mine upstairs, realizing that was what I was doing. I killed Xander, sweet silly loveable Xander? And you expect me to just blow it off? Go skipping through the park singing " La. La. La. La." ?"

" Buffy, I know this has been hard on you. But you know what? It's been hard on everyone. You went through hell, Buffy? Well, we did too. You're not the only victim here, Buffy. You have a guilty conscience? Well, we're carrying a lot of pain around. Do you even get that? Think about Willow. Sure, you lost Xander, but she did too. And she knew him a hell of a lot longer than you did, and was a lot closer to him. And Giles. Thinking he lost someone very dear to him. And Angel. Think of how _he_ felt, considering what he has to live with? He still loves you, Buffy. And he had to watch you become some kind of murdering monster. He knows what you're going through, but do you even ask him for any advice or help? No, you just complain because he's around trying to protect you. Oh, and do you think I'm happy that you played me, played on my love for you, then turned around and tried to kill me?"

" THAT WASN'T ME!" Buffy yells, angry and frustrated.

" No, it wasn't," Joyce tries to keep her cool, " we know that. But we're human Buffy. You're upset because we don't ' just get over it', but you expect us to bend over backwards when you don't ' just get over it.' If you want people to treat you normally, then start acting normally."

" Right, normally, " Buffy says bitterly. She stops, and feels herself all out of sorts. "That's it. I'm not going out now. Not feeling like this."

She starts up the stairs, but Joyce reaches out and stops her.

" No. You're not staying home. You promised Billy you'd go out, and you're going out!"

" No way. I'm in no mood to pretend to be having a good time. I'm staying in!"

" I'm not spending another evening with you moping around, sitting in front of the TV zoning out, and disappearing up in your room. You're dressed, you made the commitment, now you're going out. No arguments, young lady."

" You can't make me go out! Not if I don't want to. I'm not going out, and that's final."

" Well, you're not staying here. If you don't go out, then you better find somewhere else to be, young lady."

" You're throwing me out? Because I don't want to go out on a date? How fair is that?"

Joyce snaps. " How fair is it you making our lives miserable by being a selfish, self involved brat?" As soon as the words leave her mouth, she wishes she could take them back.

Buffy stands frozen, mouth open, staring at her. Her face reddens, and her jaw shuts. She turns towards the stairs.

" Buffy, I'm sorry, " Joyce says, her anger drained. " I didn't mean…"

" Yes you did," Buffy turns, her face a cold mask. " you meant ever word. I'm making your life miserable. All of you. Because you think this was some kind of lark. Some kind of game I'm playing. That …that…" She waves her hand, " I get it now. You're never going to forgive me, because you think I did it on purpose. Oh, you say you know that wasn't the case, but that's how you really feel. I know it. And guess what, mom? I'm gone. It's pretty obvious you don't want me here anymore. So, I'll get my stuff, and get the hell out. "

" Buffy, don't be foolish, " Joyce says, " Where will you go?"

" Don't know, don't care. Don't have any friends, but hey, I'll find somewhere to be. Doesn't matter, really. Cuz, being alone? Is a lot better than being somewhere they don't want you." Buffy starts up the stairs and stops. " Know what? Changed my mind."

" You're not leaving?"

" No, I'm leaving. Just, I'm going on that date with Ford. At least he doesn't think I'm some kind of monster. But when I get back, I'm packing." She starts upstairs, then turns. " If it's not too much trouble, would you let me know when he gets here? Don't think I want to be with you right now." Buffy starts up the stairs again.

" Buffy, stop this! Why're you doing this? Why're you being so stubborn!"

Buffy turns around, and cocks her head to the side.

" Stubborn, mom? I'm not stubborn. I'm a selfish, self-involved brat, remember?" She grins. A grin that chills the heart. " Or maybe, mommy dumbest, they drove me insane." She walks back downstairs, and stands close to her mother. " I'm hazy on what I did. But I remember everything they did to me."

" Who? What're you talking about?"

" Spike and Drusilla. The ones who made me what I am today, mother," Buffy moves a little closer, " Want to know what they did to me, mom?"

" Buffy…" Joyce whispers, genuinely afraid.

" They didn't kill me right away mom. Oh no, that wouldn't be any fun, would it? No, they didn't kill me. They tortured me."

Joyce's face goes white.

" For five days, they tortured me. Five days straight. They wouldn't let me sleep, I couldn't eat. The only time I escaped the torture was when I passed out from the pain. No fun to torture me without the screams, is it?"

" Faith was big into torture when she was insane-o slayer. Ask her what the five basic torture groups are. Except Spike, ever resourceful, came up with a few extra things to do to me. Things that I can't believe you could do to someone without killing them. But they didn't kill me. Cuz then it would be over, I'd be free of them."

Buffy walks over, and unzips her dress. She opens the back , showing it to her mother." See that mom? Those are just a sample of what they did to me. When you die, when you become a vampire, the scars on your body tend to disappear. But these were so deep, so bad, they only scarred. They didn't disappear. Now, imagine that, all over me. I've got others that I won't show you. But trust me, I've got them all over me."

Joyce reaches out, touching Buffy's back. " Buffy, honey I didn't know…"

"That wasn't enough for old Spike, however. Each day, at least 5 times a day, he raped me, mom. He didn't care how broken my body was. He just kept doing it, day after day. He raped me! He stuck his… thing… in every hole in my body he could force it into. And know what? He told me, at the time, that I was only the beginning. That he was coming for all of you. That he'd do the same thing to you, to Willow, to Anya… He was even laughing how he would sodomize Xander and Giles. Something about enemas and hot pokers. Sorry, was kind of out of it at the time. Imagine how that made me feel. And when he was done? Drusilla got in on the act, using all sort of disgusting, vile things on me. And the nut job sang nursery rhymes while she did it." Buffy shudders.

Joyce is now the one standing open mouth, in shock.

" They tried to drive me insane, mom. Just like Angel drove Drusilla insane. They were gonna make me Dru, jr. They laughed about it, right in front of me. But I didn't let it happen. I wasn't going to become a goony like Dru. I held on. I kept my sanity by allowing my hate for them to warm me, comfort me, and give me strength. I didn't have anything else left to hold on to. Just the hate, and the desire for revenge."

Buffy laughs a scary laugh.

" By the fifth day, I was so out of it I hardly could remember my name. But the hate sustained me, kept me going. And when that bastard turned me, made me into a vampire, I got him back. I dusted him. Him and his crazy bitch! They had such plans, They were going to make this town a bloodbath, and they planned on using me to do it. But they forgot something mom. Wanna know what?"

Joyce nods, speechless.

" This is _my _town. Mine!" Buffy clenches her fists so tight, they shake. " No one, no one fucks with me in my town!" She seems to explode away from her mother, moving towards the living room. She turns back, her face empty, her hands out. " So, what do you think, mom? Am I nuts, or what? Maybe they did make me nuts. " Buffy leans against the doorjamb, and slowly slides down it, until she's sitting on the floor." Whatcha think. Go ahead, be honest."

Joyce walks over to her, and kneels beside her. " Buffy, I had no idea. I'm so sorry."

" Maybe mom, If I act a little loony, there's reason for it. You think?" Buffy is looking at her, shaking. Joyce goes to hold her, but Buffy breaks away. She gets up on her feet.

"' No, don't I don't want that!" Buffy says harshly. " The last thing I want is your pity!"

" Buffy, please…"

" No. Forget it mom, just forget it. I didn't tell anyone else, because I don't want to see that look in their eyes. The pity. It makes me want to puke!"

" Buffy, honey, I just want you to know, I'm so sorry. I didn't understand why you were so… withdrawn. Now I do."

" It's ok, mom. You didn't know. I get it, " Buffy says quietly. She comes over, and hugs Joyce. " I just don't want to be something everybody looks at and says, ' poor her'. It's…over, and I want it to remain that way. Over." She looks up at her mom, her eyes tearing up. " I love you mom"

" I love you too, baby, " Joyce holds her, stroking her hair.

The doorbell rings.

" Oh god!" Buffy exclaims. " I'm a mess. Hold him off, ok? While I get fixed up?"

" Buffy, you don't have to do this. You don't have to go out. I'll make an excuse for you."

" No, mom, you're right. I gotta get over this. Stop letting that bastard Spike rule my life. I'm going out, and I'm going to have a good time. And I say, fuck HIM!" Buffy blushes. "Sorry, didn't mean to swear."

" That's ok, baby." Joyce touches her cheek. " Go, get ready. I'll hold off Billy."

" Thanks, mom, " Buffy kisses her.

She runs upstairs.

Buffy stands in her secret room, looking at the pictures of Faith. Her look is kind of distant. She smiles

"Hi, baby. Cant' stay long. Gotta go out. I just wanted to…" She touches a picture of her love, her Faith, and smiles." They don't understand me, baby. I get that now. They never will. But you … you're special. You get me, I know you do. "

She runs her hands over the pictures, almost seeming to draw strength from them. Her eyes are closed, and she moans softly.

" Soon, baby, real soon. We'll be together. You and me. Just you and me. I'll make you so happy. I promise." She leans in and kisses the picture.

" You love me too, don't you?" Buffy's tone sounds worried. She pauses, as if waiting for an answer. Her face breaks out into a huge smile.

" I knew you did. I knew it. I never doubted you for a second. I could see it. See it in your eyes when you looked at me. " She frowns. " No, baby, I'm not cheating on you. Never. He's just a toy. And I think, he'll help us. Don't you see? Yes, I know. I know. But soon. I promise. Soon!" She kisses the picture again. " I long for your lips too, love. I love you!" She shakes her head. " No , I don't want to leave, but I've got to. They have to know I'm ok… yes… I'll be back as soon as I can. Promise! " She leans in , and kisses the picture again. " Mmmmm… bye"

She darts away.

Joyce takes a second to collect herself, then putting on a smile, opens the door.

" Hi, Billy. Buffy will be right down. She's almost ready," Joyce stands back, and waves him in. " come in, dear."

Billy enters, walking towards the living room. " Figures. I knew that 8 hours wasn't enough time for her to get ready. Should've made it 8 p.m."

" You know girls, Billy. There's always some last minute thing to take care of. She wants to be just perfect." She gives him the once over. " You're looking pretty spiffy, Billy."

" Thanks Mrs. Summers." He looks up the staircase. " You know, she doesn't have to try so hard. She's pretty much perfect anyway."

Joyce looks at him, and smiles. " You really care about her, don't you?"

" I'm that transparent, huh?" Billy asks, smiling shyly.

" I'm glad, Billy. She needs someone who cares about her." Joyce glances upstairs. "She's had it rough lately."

" is everything ok, Mrs. Summers? You seem a little upset."

" No, no, everything's fine, Billy." She looks upstairs again. " She's just taking a long time. I better go check."

She just stands up when Buffy appears at the top of the stairs. She's perfect again, and beaming.

" Hi, Ford," She calls down, and starts to descend. She almost dances down the stairs.

Ford stands dumbstruck. _God, I forgot how beautiful she is. Dummy, don't stand here like a dork!_

" Heya Summers," Ford speaks up, " Lookin' sharp."

" Really? You think?" Buffy blushes slightly, and smiles a shy smile. " I mean, I've had this forever…"

" Trust me, Summers. You're definitely wow. Totally wow material."

" You like?" She smiles, her eyes dancing merrily.

" Oh definitely. Definitely on my " I like" list. I'm thinking, pretty close to the top."

" You're so full of it, Billy" But Buffy is eating it up like candy. " Now, lets see you." She walks over, and moves around him. She makes " hmmm" noises now and then.

" Well?" Ford is amused and a little worried at the same time.

"Well, I gotta say, " Buffy deadpans. " You definitely exude cutesomeness, topped by a layer of pure adorableness." She nods, " Yup, you clean up pretty well, Ford. Might even keep you for awhile."

" Oh? So, I'm a keeper, then?"

" Let's not get crazy here, Ford. Just thinking, I won't throw you back. Not right away, anyway."

"Well, Billy. If my opinion means anything, and trust me, with my lovely but obviously blind and stupid daughter, it doesn't, but I'd say you're a keeper." Joyce winks at him.

" Well, thanks, Mrs. Summers. Good to see one of the Summer's women has good taste."

" Thanks, mom. Just feed his ego. His head'll never fit in the car now!"

" Don't sweat it Summers. Got a convertible."

" Got an answer for everything, don't you Ford? But I'll tell you," She walks over, and runs her finger up his sleeve, " there might just be a thing or two you can't figure out." She looks up at him and smiles.

_Like you, Summers, _Ford thinks to himself,_ don't think I'll ever figure you._

" Oh, well. I might have a surprise or two up my sleeve myself." Ford grins at her. " You never know."

Buffy just smiles at him.

" So, Ford, you gonna take me out, or just flirt with me all night?"

" Actually, I was hoping for both, "Ford says, putting an arm around her shoulders. " G'night Mrs. Summers. I won't keep her out too late."

" Oh for goodness sakes, Ford. I'm not like 16 anymore. I don't have a curfew."

" Izzat a fact?" Ford grins, " Maybe I'll believe it when you stop acting like 16."

" You're going to pay for that, " Buffy growls playfully. She walks over to her mother and gives her a hug. " Night mom. Thanks."

" You sure you're ok, honey?" Joyce asks in a low voice.

" Peaches, mom. I'm peaches." She winks.

" Night honey. Night Billy. Be careful."

Buffy and Ford disappear through the door.

Joyce wanders back to the kitchen bar, and leans against it heavily. She stares at the wall phone, trying to come to a decision. Finally she shakes her head, and sighing, makes her way upstairs.

2

Faith sits patiently on the exam table, arms in the air, as a youngish male nurse wraps her chest with a bandage. From the color of his ears, it's pretty obvious he's feeling the tiniest bit of embarrassment. You can be sure Faith isn't making it any easier for him.

" You know, cutie. Usually to get where you are? Guy's got to at least buy me dinner and couple of drinks."

The young nurse blushes, and continues to wrap her ribs.

" We're almost done here, miss. Then the doctor'll be in to talk with you."

" Done? Gee, and you didn't even give me a smooch. I'm hurt" Faith grins at him.

The nurse coughs, and Faith can't help chuckling out loud. Finished, he stands up quickly, looking ready to bolt.

" I'm just playing with you, baby," She smiles at him. " Could you hand me the gown, please? Unless you're not done looking?" She arches her brow.

The nurse gets her gown, and before she can say another word, exits though the door.

Faith starts laughing, then winces. She touches her ribs gingerly.

" Damn, can't even get a good laugh out these days." She frowns.

Dr. Yung enters the room and quickly comes to the X-rays stuck on the light box next to Faith. He exams them, tracing a line in the image. He nods his head, then walks over to Faith.

" So, doc, am I gonna live?" Faith cracks.

" Hmm? Oh of course your going to live Ms…" He checks the chart. " Lehane"

" No need to be formal, Doc. Everyone calls me Faith."

" Well, Faith, " He makes a note on the chart, " Seems like everything is running along pretty smoothly. You're healing up very well. Very quickly. That's a good sign." He frowns at the chart. " You're still having some pain?"

" Yeah… kinda here. " Faith points to her right side. " not much, just sometimes get a little twinge."

" May I take a look?"

" Well, Doc, like I was telling your nurse. That usually costs you dinner and drinks, ya know?"

Dr. Yung smiles briefly. " Very amusing. I see they didn't break your funny bone ."

" Doc! You made a joke. I think that's a first!" Faith laughs, then winces.

" Does that happen often?"

" You making a joke? First time, I think."

" Pain when you laugh."

" Well… not really…ok, kinda"

" That was very unclear. Yes or no would do."

" Yes."

" Ok, if you could remove your gown, please?"

Faith sighs, and removes the gown yet again. She's feeling a little chilly. _Why is it they keep these rooms like refrigerators? _

The doctor probes around her right rib cage with a finger. He hits a spot, and Faith makes a slight " uhhh" sound. Dr. Yung nods.

" Ah ha, Think we found our culprit."

He walks back over, and studies one of the X-Rays. " Ah ha" he mutters, then walks back over.

" Does this hurt?" He pokes the area again.

" Geeze, yes that's a little sore, " Faith flinches.

" Ok, I think I see our problem."

He motions for Faith to come over where the X-rays are hanging. He points out an area on her right rib cage.

" See that?"

" Uhhh… yeah, I guess. What am I looking for?"

"There, that little dark area near the 3rd rib?"

" Uh huh."

" Ok, " He turns, and puts a hand on each side of Faith's ribs. " Right here, there are a group of muscles connecting to your rib cage, ok?"

" Sure doc."

" Well, that little dark spot is a bruised muscle. I believe when you had your accident, the muscle became damaged, and bled a little. It's healing up, but it's going to be tender for awhile because there's some blood where it shouldn't be. It's causing a little swelling, and it's pressing near a nerve bundle."

The doctor has kept his hands on her ribs during the whole explanation. Faith smiles.

" Gee, doc? If you wanted to feel me up, you coulda just asked for a date."

Dr. Yung removes his hands.

" You can get dressed now, we're done."

"Again, I get pawed, and no kiss. I'm really getting bummed here."

Dr. Yung chuckles, and shakes his head

" I really like you, Faith. You're funny. But you've really got a strange sense of humor."

Faith chuckles, and winces. " Geeze, keep down with the funny doc, You're killing me here."

She buttons up her blouse, then slips into her jacket. They both walk into the hallway.

" Ok, bottom line, Doc. How long before I don't feel this anymore?"

" I'm going to prescribe you something for the pain. I know you have an active lifestyle, because you're a very fit young woman. However, please try to avoid straining that area for awhile, ok?"

Faith nods.

" If you're still having pain in 30 days, I want you to come back and see me."

" 30 days, Doc? Gee, don't know if I can go that long without seeing you, you charmer you!"

Dr. Yung smiles. " Very amusing. However, not sure my wife would be so amused."

" Oh, married? That's ok, Doc. Bring her along. I'm up for ménage a fun!"

" Goodbye, Faith, " Dr. Yung starts to turn away.

" Oh, Doc?"

" Yes, Faith?"

" Do me a favor? Keep the hands out of the freezer before you come and fondle my boobs next time. Really a turn off."

" Goodbye, Ms. Lehane" Dr. Yung turns away, chuckling.

Faith, smiling, turns to walk down the hall. She gets halfway down when she sees Willow talking to someone near the business office. Even from here, she can see she's looking upset. She starts over to walk over when she sees Willow throw up her hands, and then walk away. Curious, she increases her stride to catch up.

" Red, hey … Red! Wait up!"

Willow turns and looks at Faith, a frown on her face. She doesn't seem too happy to see her, but she doesn't walk away, either.

" Hey…what's up? You ok?"

" Yeah, I'm fine," Willow says, shortly. " What're you doing here?"

" Getting felt up by the medical staff. How 'bout you?"

Willow makes an impatient sound. " Really not in the mood for jokes, Faith. See ya," Willow turns on her heel, and walks away.

" Red….wait! Willow! " Faith calls out. " C'mon, I'm sorry, ok?"

Willow stops, and her shoulders slump. She turns around.

" Hey, I'm sorry too. Not your fault, really. Just, not feeling all to the happy right now. " She notes a little bulkiness under Faith's jacket. " Are you ok?"

" Yeah, just a little soreness around the ribs. Not a big. But really, are you ok?"

Willow stands there, having an internal debate to whether she should say anything, or just go.

" Umm… Red? That wasn't supposed to be a stumper."

Willow's face seems to collapse, her expression getting really sad.

" No, not really doing too good right now, Faith. Seems everything's going to hell, if you gotta know." She stands there, looking lost.

"Hey," Faith says softly, putting a hand on Willow's shoulder.

" I'll be ok, Faith. Just gotta figure things out. I better go."

Yet, she doesn't move, as if she doesn't know where to go.

" Hey, look… ummm… after one of these grope sessions by the Doctors of Sunnydale General Horniness, I could use a drink. How 'bout you?"

Despite herself, Willow snorts a short laugh. She looks up, her face tight.

"God yes, please?"

" … the worst thing? I just don't have a clue what I'm going to do, " Willow says. She fusses with her drink, trying to find something to keep her hands busy.

Faith and Willow have been at the Bronze for nearly an hour now. They're on their second drink. Willow is not a happy camper. At first, she was little hesitant to talk to Faith. But she's found her a sympathetic listener, and she's started to pour her heart out to her.

" The people from the Business office contacted me today, asking me to come down. When I got there, a very efficient clerk told me that Tara's insurance was running out, and that I would have to make other arrangements for her." Willow snorts," Yeah, that's gonna happen."

" Running out? Didn't you like pay the premiums?"

" Oh sure, I've been paying them right along. But seems there's a lifetime cap on benefits concerning continuing care. I didn't know that, and it seems I've hit the wall, so to speak," Willow sighs, and sips her drink. " I guess they were trying to be helpful, they gave me a bunch of brochures. But I've already checked out local facilities, and either they're warehouses for the mentally ill, or the costs are astronomical. I'm kind of screwed, I guess." She sighs. " Geeze, I just wish they'd informed me before it was the last minute. Maybe I could've found something. But now? Damn."

" So, what? They're just going to put her out in the street?

" No… well, yes, I guess. I mean, they were … well, no they weren't sympathetic, but they made it pretty clear that Tara had to be out by the time the insurance ran out. It's a small facility , and they need the bed space, I guess. So, now, I've got to find something else."

" Hey, it's gonna be ok, Red, " Faith says, reaching over to pat her hand. " You're damned smart. You'll think of something."

" Like what? How? I'm in school most of the day. Then I go to see her, and I work part time at nights to just make ends meet. That was when her care was covered. Now…" She shakes her head. " We're back to , I don't have a clue what to do."

"What about her family? Can they help?"

" You mean the Maclays? " Willow shudders. " believe me, that bunch? You don't want to get mixed up with. They make the Beverly Hillbillies look like futurists."

" Huh?"

" Never mind. Just it's pretty sure they won't be helping out. They didn't approve of Tara or her being a witch much. I figure Mr. Maclay, her father, would pretty much say this is what she had coming."

" Sounds like a real jewel, that guy. " Faith frowns. " Ok, they're out. How bout your parents?"

" You mean Sheila and Ira? The Famous Disappearing Rosenbergs?" Willow's voice has an edge to it.

" Sheila, Ira? You call your mom and dad by their first names?"

" That's mom's idea. Very much into the progressive movement. Very against stereotypical labels like Mom, Dad… Man, Woman…" Willow breaks a smile.

" Social worker?" Faith asks with some aspersion.

" Nope, worse. Clinical Psychologist. Always trying to ' understand ' me. That is, when they're around."

" Yeah, what's that about? You called them the famous disappearing Rosenbergs?"

"Well, they've been kind of into their own lives, ever since I was kid, anyway. They're often off and about. Right now, they've been gone for oh… what? Last 3 years or so?"

" Huh? You mean they just left?"

" Kinda. They're not into the big goodbyes. I came home one day, they and their clothes were gone. I think they left a note that they were moving to Carmel… or was it Carpinteria? Never can keep those two straight. Anyway, they haven't been back…"

" You sure we aren't related? Sound like what my mom did…course, I was 4 a the time… so, I guess no big loss…"

" You're mom just left you when you were four? Gosh, that's awful."

" I think she got a better offer. Ditch the kid, be my whore, and I'll I give you a case of Jack Daniels. Something like that…"

" That's harsh, " Willow says, squeezing Faith's hand.

Faith shrugs. " Mom loved her cracker jack, what can I say?"

" Cracker Jack? The Candy?"

" No , Red. Crack and Jack … Jack Daniels."

" Damn."

" Over it, Red, Honest." Faith smiles.

" Well I guess old Sheila and Ira weren't so bad. Didn't totally abandon me until I was 20 or so…"

" You don't know where they are at all?"

" I've got an emergency number, in case the house burns down or something…"

" I'd think this would qualify, don't you?"

"Ummm… can't ask them. They wouldn't help…"

" How do you know, til you ask Red?"

" Mom and dad? Dead set against me and Tara. Not loving the fact their daughter is gay."

" You're kidding, right?"

Willow frowns, " Do I look like I'm kidding."

" Geeze, I thought with your mom being a liberal and all, she'd be first in line in the Gay Pride parade marches and stuff…"

" Yeah, well, mom's a liberal, sometimes. Dad on the other hand, is an Orthodox Jew, Faith. He doesn't approve of his daughter being gay. Really doesn't approve. Pretty much disowned me when he learned about me and Tara."

" Now, that's harsh, " Faith says. " Disowning your flesh and blood? Never see me do that, if I had a kid… don't care what he or she did."

" Wanna adopt me?" Willow smiles, "I'm available!"

Faith chuckles.

" Mom pretty much supports him on this. She figures it's some kind of rebellion I'm having against them, so she says until I grow up, not to bother asking for help." Willow makes a face. " Ok, they didn't cut me off entirely. They take care of the taxes on the house, and dad sends me a check every month for some basic expenses. But they're not about to help me with Tara."

" I can't understand that. Guess I'm dumb. Maybe it's because I never really had family, but if I had a kid in trouble, I'd do whatever it took to help out. "

Willow looks at her, smiling a very small smile. " You really would, wouldn't you?"

" Look, I know the image I project. Lone wolf, don't need nobody. No ties, no strings, nothing. But that was a way for me to make it through, Red. I really … if I had someone that wanted me around , someone I cared for? Man, I'd give my left arm to be sure they were ok."

Faith picks up Willow's look

" What?"

"Nothing," Willow smiles enigmatically." Hey, wanna hear something funny?"

" Yeah, I think we could use a chuckle hear, you know?"

" Not funny laugh out loud, I mean funny strange."

" Sure, why not," Faith shrugs. " It's Sunnyhell, home of the strange."

" Mom and Dad won't accept me being gay, but they're ok with me being Wicca."

" Huh?"

" A witch."

" I know what Wicca is, Red. Not dumb. But you mean they accept you doing hoodoo voodoo stuff, but not you're girlfriend?"

" That's pretty much it. They figure that me being Wicca, is my expression of religion, and their very big on the Bill of Rights. But me being gay? Makes me a rebellious deviant. Go figure."

" You? Rebellious? Oh please, give me a break." Faith chuckles.

Willow doesn't laugh." Sometimes, I feel I wanna rebel.. Run away, start over fresh. Leave everything behind."

" Even Tara?"

Willow nods. " Makes me a pretty awful person, doesn't it?"

" Please! You got dumped with a load of responsibility… more than most see in a lifetime. And sometimes, you want to kick it. That's not awful, that's normal. You need a break is all."

" Tara's my fault Faith. If not for me, she wouldn't be like she is."

" Ok, she got her brains sucked out by some hell goddess. How's that your fault, exactly?"

" We fought, Faith. She was going to leave me. When we were fighting Glory, I turned to some pretty dark arts to try to find a solution to our problem. No help there, but I got addicted to the power, Faith. I liked the feeling it gave me. Too much. I really got into it, and Tara saw what was happening, and what it was doing to me. But I wouldn't listen to her. I ridiculed her, told her she was just jealous, and told her to get out. And she did. I regretted it after, and it took time, but we finally agreed to meet at the Multicultural fair to work out our problems. But… I never showed up. I was doing a spell, and didn't want to stop… and she got brain sucked by Glory… and I wasn't there to protect her. She was all alone, and scared, and I was too selfish and too 'busy' to be there for her. I let it happen. What kind of person does that make me?"

" Human, Red. You blew it, like we all do, but you're not the reason Tara got … hurt. That was just being in the wrong place, at the wrong time. You couldn't have made a difference. No one could've."

" No, it's my fault. I should've listened to her, to my friends, who warned me I was out of control. But it took that, and Dawn dying, to make me realize that what I was messing with was bad. Real bad. It took a long time for me to get back to myself. The magic had kind of taken me over. It was in my every cell. Probably still is, just below the surface. But after that… I swore I wouldn't use it anymore. I pretty much gave up magic. First real spell I've cast was when we brought back Buffy."

" Red, I know you feel terrible about what happened to Tara, but you're starting to sound just like Buffy."

" I don't get you?"

" Buffy is doing the same thing to herself that you are . She's blaming herself for stuff that she's not responsible for. Why do you think she's acting so strangely? Because she's carrying this massive guilt around. She thinks it's her fault because of what the vampire did."

" That's stupid!" Willow says, " she wasn't in control. The vampire was the killer."

" Any more stupid than you blaming yourself because Tara got screwed by this Glory god thing? I don't think so. You and her gotta start forgiving yourselves, or… well, you might both do things you don't really want to , to escape the guilt."

" What're you talking about?"

"Figure it, Red. If Buffy can't put what happened behind her, if she keeps obsessing over the deaths, and blaming herself, she might get herself vamped again to escape."

" No, she wouldn't do that! She wouldn't!"

" Guilt's powerful, Red, and it never leaves you alone. I know… and I earned my guilt. I had it coming."

" But you were… you had problems too, Faith."

" Doesn't mean I didn't do what I did. But it was me that did it. Buffy wasn't Buffy when the vampire killed all those people… including Xander. And you didn't hurt Tara… some fucking hell god did. But if you don't let go, what's to say that one day, to feel better, you won't use one of those spells that make you feel so good?"

" I wouldn't do that, Faith. I won't go back there again."

Faith doesn't say anything.

" I wouldn't!" Willow insists.

"Even if it meant you could be free of the guilt and pain, just for a little while? Kind of like running away, don't you think?"

Willow is silent for a moment, staring at Faith. Then she smiles ruefully.

" When did you get so smart?"

" Hey, guys. What's up?"

Faith and Willow look up sharply, to see Buffy and a guy standing by their table.

" Buffy?"

3

" Buffy?"

Ford gently tries to bring Buffy back to the dance their dancing. But she seems to be a million miles away, staring off at some table. _Wonder what she's thinking about? Or if she's even thinking?_

Buffy seems to rouse from a trance. " Hmmm? What? Oh god, Ford! I'm sorry. I guess I was daydreaming or something." She turns red in the cheeks. " Bad me."

" Was it a nice daydream?

" I guess…" Buffy shrugs.

"Did it involve me and you and some really interesting touching?"

" Now look who's got sex on the brain, huh?" Buffy teases him.

" Actually, Summers, I don't think you were daydreaming at all. You seemed to be focused on that table over there, " Ford points to where Buffy was staring." The one with the two women at it. Friends of yours?"

" Huh? No… well, yes, I guess their friends… I don't know… oh hell. Just it's kind of complicated right now. Don't you ever ask easy questions? Like the time, or what color goes good with blue, or something?"

" Ok, Summers, spill it. What's the 411 here? I mean, it's been fun so far… when you're here. But you've been kind of fading in and out all night, like a bad radio signal."

" Oh Ford, I'm sorry. I guess I've been a drag to be with. I've been having a good time, but things are a little weird right now. You know?"

'" Summers, with you, when aren't they? I'm not like, angry or anything. I'm just curious to know what I'm competing with in that head of yours. I want to help, if I can."

Buffy smiles at him. " You're sweet, Ford, but really, I can't go into it. Not right now. I'm sorry I'm being a drag. But, if you give me a second chance," She draws her finger down his shirt. " I promise to make it up to you."

" Thank you, Summers. My male ego appreciates the stroke. But really, I want to help. Ok, you can't tell me the sitch, but you can tell me if there's something going on between those women and you… right?"

" I guess…" Buffy sighs. " Ok, look. Can't go into details, but what happened kind of put me against my friends. Not like in a big blow up kind of way, but just… well, there's some awkwardness happening. And I … ok, mom was right, I've been sort of hiding out… and I want to go over and sound them out… see if maybe we can work things out… and I've been … geeze, Ford, sure you want to date me?"

Ford laughs. " Oh yeah. I wouldn't miss this insanity for anything."

Buffy looks at Willow and Faith's table again, and sighs. " I just don't know how to go over there without it looking forced, and then everyone is all on eggshells again, and weirdness ensues."

" Well, Summers. I wouldn't be allergic to meeting some of your friends. Maybe they could help me figure you out."

Buffy shoots him a mock annoyed look.

" You're right. Who could figure you out, huh?"

" Ok, Mr. Smarty. I'll introduce you. At last, you're good for something."

" Gee, Buff, thanks. I can just feel the love here." Ford mocks her.

Buffy hits him, and grabs his hand.

" You know, Buffy. This hitting has got to stop. I bruise easily."

" C'mon you," Buffy growls playfully.

She leads him towards the table.

4

" Buffy?"

Faith and Willow both are quite surprised to see her. They were convinced that Buffy had pretty much become hermit girl. Yet here she was, all dressed up, and with a guy, no less.

" Hey, Buff. I gotta say, you're lookin' pretty spiff tonight." Faith smiles up at her.

" Thanks Faith:" Buffy blushes, " You like?"

" Oh, yeah. I mean, for you. It's not me, but it looks good on you."

" Thanks."

" Yeah, Buffy, you really are looking nice tonight, " Willow smiles at her.

Buffy smiles back warmly, " Thanks Will. It's good to see you."

" You too, Buffy."

"Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I wanted you to meet someone. Faith, Will, This is Ford… Billy Fordham. Billy… the black haired cutie is Faith, and the red haired sweetie is Will… or Willow."

" Hi guys. Any friends of Summers… well, they've got to be a little nuts," There's good natured laughter, with Buffy looking a little annoyed, "And hey, I got the skinny on Buffy: the early years. So, if you want to learn her deep, dark secrets, well, just look me up." Ford smiles broadly at Faith and Willow.

" You guys got to forgive Ford here. He was kicked in the head by a horse when he was young… or should've been ,anyway."

"So, you guys go way back, then?" Willow asks.

" Oh yeah, I remember Buffy when she was in kindergarten. Actually, there's a funny story about that, involving chalk and some paper paste…"

" Don't you dare tell them about that, " Buffy colors red.

" Oh man, I'm thinkin' we can get lots of embarrassing stuff on the Buff outta this guy, " Faith grins. " This should be good. Pull up a chair and sit down."

Willow stands up. " Actually, guys, much as funny Buffy stories sound great, I really got to be going. Lots to do, and I've got an early day tomorrow."

" Hey, Will, don't go," Buffy says, catching her hand." Can't you stay for a little while? Hoping we could catch up, or somethin' "

" Sorry, Buff. I'd really like to, but I'm already kinda behind in my stuff, " She squeezes Buffy's hand. " Maybe another time?"

" Yeah, sure, Will." Buffy says, her tone a little flat. "Another time."

" Sorry, Buffy, really," Willow frowns a little.

" No big, Will, I understand," Buffy smiles at her.

" Hey, I better go with, Red. Kinda not safe out there. Still lots of vamps roaming around…" She catches Buffy's wince. " Sorry, Buff."

" No big, " She grins crookedly. " You should go . See she's safe."

" No, stay, Faith. I'm ok. I can get home by myself."

" Don't be silly, Will. Faith's right, not real safe out there."

" Really I'm ok, " Willow insists.

" Will, you know well as I how the vamps just love single women walking alone. I know you can take care of yourself, but wouldn't it be better if Faith tagged along? I think so."

" You sure, Buffy?" Willow asks.

" Hey, know what? Don't need a babysitter. Got Ford here to look after me. You guys go. I'll catch you later."

" Buff, no one meant you needed…" Faith begins.

" Guys? Just go? This is getting silly, " Buffy smiles. " I'll catch you later, ok?"

" Ok. Buffy, " Willow says, an odd expression on her face. " I'll call you."

" Yeah, see you back at the house later, Buffy." Faith says, her tone a little strange.

" Sure guys. Bye."

" Bye."

" Bye"

Faith and Willow leave.

Ford and Buffy sit in silence for a few moments.

" Well, I gotta say, Buff. You nailed it. That was weird."

" Yeah," Buffy says, her tone flat. " Aw, screw it. Know what? I tired of worrying what people think of me. " She sits silent for a beat or two. " Hey you know what? This place blows tonight. Wanna get outta here?"

" Sure I guess, Buffy." Ford looks at her. " Where to? I'm kinda new 'round here."

" Well, I know a place. We can have a lot more fun, you know?" She turns to him, and there's a wicked smile on her face. " You up for it?" She leans in, and rubs her hand on his thigh . " Or, can I get you up for it?"

" Sure, Summers." Ford for the first time, feels a definite weird vibe coming off Buffy. He feels just the tiniest bit of ice in his stomach. " I'm in."

"Mmmm, " Buffy leans closer to him, and kisses him softly. " Play your cards right, and you will be." She trails her fingers down the front of his shirt.

_Is it getting warm in here?_

Buffy stands up, and goes behind him. Leaning in to him, so she is sure he can feel her breasts pressing against him, she whispers in his ear. " Let's go, lover." She takes his hand.

Ford, somewhat confused, lets her lead him to the exit.

5

" Angel! Over here!"

Angel, close to the entrance, looks through the crowd, trying to see where the voice came from.

He is in the Ye Olde Hogshead Inn, A Genuine English Public House and Inn. He usually avoids these place because 1) there usually as genuine as a 3 dollar bill, and 2) there usually crowded, like this one, with tourists trying to soak up the English experience. Angel is never a big one for crowds, and this one is no exception. _Wes insisted we meet here. God knows why. Why not just meet at the Bronze?_

Angel weaves his way through the crowd, trying to locate the spot where Wes' voice came from. He finally sees him sitting in a booth towards the back. He heads over, narrowly ducking a mis-thrown dart. _Idiots!_

He finally finds Wes standing by a booth , facing a dart board.

" So, Wes, I'm here. Why here?"

" I'm sorry?"

" Why meet here? Why not at the Bronze?"

" Is there a problem with meeting here, Angel?" Wes throws a dart.

" I suppose not. It's just creepy."

" Creepy? How so?"

" These genuine English pubs. Always give me the creeps. I keep expecting Holtz to show up."

" Well, no worry about that. This place is hardly genuine. They chill the Guinness" Wes, after some contemplation, throws another dart.

" Anyway, I'm here. Are we going to talk, or play darts?"

" Talk," Wes tosses another dart, " ever play darts, Angel?"

" Yes, stupid game, " Angel impatiently takes the remaining darts from Wes. Without really looking, he tosses them at the dart board. They hit the bulls- eye. Wes, startled , stares.

" It's a simple game, granted, but has it's elegance, " Wesley goes to retrieve the darts. " You line up, throw your dart, and then move on to the next toss. You learn from each toss and adjust…"

" Is this going to be a " Life is a dart game " speech, Wes?"

" I see, " Wes slides into the booth, waving to the other empty bench. " Please sit, Angel. We'll get right to it, then."

Angel sits, facing Wes. He has an impatient expression on his face. " So, what's this about, anyway Wes?"

" I believe you already know, Angel. It's time to come back to L.A. You're work here is done."

" No, it's really not done, Wes."

" How do you figure that? You've got Buffy back to the land of the living, now it's time to get back to your own life."

" What life, Wes? As you and Gunn are so fond of pointing out, I don't have a life. I sit and I brood, and then I beat up and kill monsters, then go back to brooding. I can do that here as well as there. So, what's the deal?"

" You know that isn't true, Angel. We have a mission down in L.A. Gunn and I have been doing the best we can to keep things going, but you're the heart of the mission. We need you back there."

" They need me here, Wes. You guys can handle it."

" Need you?"

" I have to keep her safe, Wes. I can't… I won't let what happened to her happen again."

" What happened to Buffy is unfortunate…"

" Unfortunate, Wes? Losing your car keys is unfortunate. What happened to Buffy…shouldn't have happened."

" I agree. But it did, and there's nothing you or anyone could've done to stop it."

" Not true. I could've warned her about Spike, how …devious he was. I knew he hadn't changed, not really . How could he? He didn't have a soul! I thought… he was harmless… he couldn't hurt her. He seemed to help her… at least in battles. I didn't know it had gotten to a different level … but if I'd been here, I would've, and could've stopped it. But I didn't…"

" So, it's your fault, then, what happened to Buffy?"

" Yes, " Angel says softly.

" Crap."

" Excuse me?"

" That's a load of manure, Angel. There is nothing you or anyone could've done to stop it. Buffy isn't a child anymore, Angel. She's a grown woman. She has her life, and makes her own decisions. Sometimes, she'll make mistakes. They have consequences, and she has to pay them. But it's _her_ life, Angel, and her mistakes. She has a right to it."

" A right to die? To become a soulless vamp, a cold-blooded killer, and then restored to face it all alone? You have no idea what's she's going through, Wes. What this must be doing to her. I should've stopped it before; I'm not making that mistake again."

" How would you stop it Angel? Really, be logical. How could you protect her absolutely from becoming a vampire again, unless you locked her in a room or a cage, and never let her out? Is that what you want to do, Angel?"

" Of course not. But I can be with her, follow her, keep her safe…"

" 24/7 Angel? 365 days a year? How? Remember your little issue with sunlight? Who protects her then?"

" No vampires in sunlight , Wes."

" But there are other things that could get her. And it doesn't have to be a demon or supernatural creature. Lots of human monsters out there, Angel. What about that?"

" Maybe I could get cable in that room…"

" Angel, stop it. You're obsessing over her again. You know you're doing it, and all the lurking around and skulking in the shadows only proves it. "

" It's obsessing to want to keep her safe?"

" She has friends and family to keep her safe, Angel…"

" They didn't before!"

" … and Faith is here now to keep things safe. What are you going to do that she can't?"

" I could…"

" You could what?"

Angel goes silent.

" Look, Angel, I don't want to be hard on you. I know you feel terrible about what happened, but there is nothing you can do here now except to smother her. How can she get past this with you around her all the time as a reminder of what happened, and what she did? You have to let her go, Angel. You saw that once; I need you to see it again."

" I know, " Angel murmurs, " It's just hard, Wes, to know she became the thing she hated most. She feared being turned, Wes. It was her biggest fear. And it happened to her. And I can't help feeling if I'd only done something different, it wouldn't have happened to her. She has to live with it, and it hurts to know she's suffering. She's the only woman I ever loved; probably the only one I ever will. And I hate to see her hurt."

" Then let her heal. While you're here, she can't"

" I know," Angel sighs heavily, " Faith's here. She can keep a lid on things. Maybe…"

" Maybe what?"

" Maybe she can work with Buffy. I know Buffy doesn't have her slayer powers anymore, but she spent 7 years doing it. She could work with Faith, get her hand back in it. That might make it easier for her…"

" That's not a bad idea. Buffy had civilians go out with her… and Buffy's experienced. She could be an asset for Faith."

" They might even bond this time. There won't be all that ' I'm a better slayer than you' competition stuff. And by sticking with Faith, I'd know she'd be safer…" He looks at Wesley. " Thanks, Wes."

" That's alright, Angel, " Wesley clears his throat." That's what friends do."

" So, you guys need me back?" Angel asks.

" Well, it'd be good to have you back, though we've managed without you…"

" Things are falling apart, huh?"

" I never said that, Angel."

" I'm gone a couple of months, and you guys fumble the ball…"

" That's not true. We've been on top of things while you were gone…"

" I see I need to come back, and get things back in order. I swear, a guy takes a few months off, and everything just goes to a hell dimension…"

" Oh, God…" Wes groans.

" I guess Angel Investigations is just … Investigations … without Angel. " Angel gets up, " Well, you coming?"

Wes gets up, and they start heading for the door.

" It's a good thing I'm coming back. I see now that you guys are simply lost without me. No rest for the weary…"

" It's a good thing you have a convertible, Angel," Wes says with some acid, " Otherwise we'd never get you into it."

" Face it Wes, you guys need me. You really, really need me. Should've known I couldn't leave the agency in charge with an English guy. They always bollix up everything…"

Wes just sighs and rolls his eyes.

6

" Wanna talk about it?"

Willow and Faith are walking down a residential street towards her house. The night is bright, there's a full moon in the sky. The only sounds are their footfalls.

" Talk about what?" Willow asks.

" Why as soon as Buffy showed up tonight, you bolted?" Faith looks at her.

"That's ridiculous. Like I said, I've got a lot to do. And I need to figure out what I'm going to do now. And, I need some rest. Buffy has nothing to do with it."

They walk along quietly for awhile.

" She looked good tonight, " Faith finally says, " sort of like herself."

" Yeah, she did," Willow agrees.

" Is that what bothered you?"

" Huh? What're you talking about? It was good she looked… well, good."

" Ok," Faith nods her head. " Was it the guy?"

" Faith, what's this about? I'm really not getting you."

" I'm just trying to figure what made you jump and leave like someone lit a fire under your butt, Red."

" Are we back to that?" Willow asks, sounding irritated. " I told you I've got things to do. What do you want, an affidavit or something?"

"What?"

"What?"

" What do you have to do?"

"Things. Lots of things. Oodles and boodles of things, Faith."

" Like what?"

" You want a list?"

" No, but … just tell me something you've got to do that's so important you had to jump up and leave."

" You realize, Faith, I don't like have to answer to you, " Willow arches a brow. " but, ok. … ummm… housework."

" Housework?"

" You know, dishes, cleaning, straightening up, dusting…"

" You do housework at 10 o'clock at night?"

" Sorry, Faith. I'm kind of on a tight schedule these days. I do things as I can get to them."

" Housework. That was what was so important that you couldn't spend, oh, what? 10 minutes talking to your friend?"

" If I want to get to bed before midnight, yeah."

" It's that important? It couldn't have waited?"

" I like a clean house, Faith, " Willow says, " sorry, some of us don't want to live like slobs."

Faith ignores the dig. " So, a clean house is more important than hanging out for a few minutes with the girl who's supposed to be your best friend?"

" I'm doing the best I can, Faith, " Willow's irritation is evident. " There'll be other times to hang with Buffy."

" When?"

" What? I need to make up a Buffy schedule now? I don't know… when I get some time."

" So, there hasn't been 5 or 10 minutes in your busy schedule in the last two weeks that you could've dropped by the house and said Hi, how are you to Buffy? You remember, the one who went through all sorts of hell recently? That Buffy?"

" What's the deal? Why all the questions? What do you care?"

" Why don't you?"

" I do care!"

" Oh, that's kinda strange. Seems it was you that was begging me not to stake her, went to all the trouble to find a spell to cure her, and now… when she's back, and really needs a friend, her friend, her best friend for… how many years?"

" Seven"

" Seven years, now all of a sudden, you've got zero time for her. So that kinda bugs me. I don't get it. Why're you avoiding her?

" Not avoiding her. Been busy. Have you heard anything I've said?"

" Yeah, that important housework. Got it."

" Darn it, what do you want me to do? Skip school? Blow off Tara, maybe lose my job, to see her? When do I get time to do it, Faith?"

" And no one else is busy? Giles managed to get by… a number of times. Angel has been by… even Amy, who I don't think knows Buffy all that well checked in on her. But strangely absent? Her bestest bud in the universe."

" Know what, Faith? I'm close enough home now, think I can make it the rest of the way myself. Why don't you leave now?"

"So, that's it? No answer? When it gets too hot, it's ' get lost, Faith'? Ok fine, whatever, " Faith turns around and starts walking off. " Great friend you are!"

Something snaps in Willow. " I am a great friend!" She yells at Faith, " I'm her best friend. But what does that matter? All she sees is you! All she wants is YOU!"

Faith stops, and turns around. " What the hell are you talking about?"

" Oh, c'mon, Faith. Don't tell me you don't see it."

" See what?"

" She is like obsessed with you."

" Ok, can I have some of the drugs you're taking? Maybe I can understand you then."

" You can't be that blind . Nobody's that blind!"

" Well, just call me Stevie Wonder, because I'm sure not seeing what you see."

" You think I haven't been by? I've been by, you were just out. Probably that's the only reason she saw me. The whole time I was there, it was Faith this, Faith that, Faith, Faith, Faith! She wouldn't stop talking about you. Nothing about her feelings, what she was going through, none of that. No. It was Faith. It was like you walk on water or something. I somehow escaped before getting recruited in the cult of Faith. So I wonder, why stop by? She doesn't need me, she has her idol to worship at already."

Faith stands there for a moment, trying to absorb the onslaught. Then her head starts to shake slowly, a shudder runs through her, and she makes a disparaging noise.

"Ok, you had me there for a second. That's just nuts. We aren't that close, never been. This is some kind of jealousy thing with you. Sorry I live there, but I just wanted somewhere to live where the roaches don't hold hands. But … nothing else is going on. God, where do you get your insane-o ideas, anyway?"

" Oh, insane-o ideas? What about tonight?"

" Huh? What're you talking about? She was with a guy… whatsisface… car guy."

" Ford"

" Yeah, him."

" Never heard of someone trying to get someone's attention by making them jealous?"

" Huh? Why would I be jealous of car guy? I mean, geeze, I don't want to date her."

" Doesn't mean she knows that, Faith. Ok, when she got to the table. First thing she's looking at you. Then, when you compliment her, I swear she turned 15 shades of happy. When I did, it was " Thanks, Will". Seeing a pattern here?"

"Look, Red, I'm sorry if you feel she's blowing you off, or something, but this idea of yours is …" but much as she tries, Faith can't live in denial land. Little things, things she just dismissed as Buffy being in recovery come back to her. The way Buffy always seems to focus on her when she comes into a room. Her seeking her out for advice, following her around.

" Oh, god," Faith suddenly feels a little weak in the knees, and a little sick. " Oh god." She sits down heavily on the sidewalk.

" Faith!" Willow comes to her, kneeling. " Are you ok?"

" This is sick, " Faith groans, " This is totally sick!"

" Faith, wait. Don't get all wigged now. Wait!"

" Don't get wigged? Buffy is pulling a Glenn Close on me, and I'm not supposed to be wigged?"

"No, Faith, I don't think it's like that. Look. Maybe your right. Maybe there's a little jealousy on my part working here. But, maybe it'll pass too." Willow rubs her shoulder.

" What're you talking about?"

" Look, think of it this way. She's been through hell, and you saved her. At least that's the way she's seeing it. You brought her back from being a vampire, and she's glomming on you because she's got a little crush on you. A hero worship thing, you know? Like some get for a good teacher, or something. She's confused and needy right now, and she needs something to cling to. "

" I don't like being clung to, Red."

" I get that. But right now, she can't help it. It's probably just a phase in her recovery… you know, like when you're in the hospital and you kinda fall in love with the nurse because she's there and taking care of you… that kind of thing. And once she gets out and back into it, it'll fade away."

Faith just looks at her.

" Ok, and I'll admit. Some jealousy here. Cuz I've been her best friend for 7 years, and all of a sudden it's all about you, you know? I mean, you guys never even really got along. But she's all sappy over you. And I'm wishing it were a little bit for me, because right now, things are so crazy and confused, I could use that."

Faith sits there, trying to process all of this. She finally hauls herself up, and brushes off.

" You know? I guess I'm dumb. I just don't get it. Ok, I mean, I see what you mean, and I guess it's true. And hey, I'm sorry that it's me she decided to get all stupid about. Trust me, it just makes me a little crazy, thinking about it. And, I think there is some jealousy on your part, coloring the story, so I'm going to chalk up some of what you said to that. But, ewww. I don't want to be Buffy's hero, or anything else."

" Look, it's just a phase. It'll pass, I'm sure."

" Good. How can we make that go like, faster?"

" Well, tonight was a good sign. Her being out with Ford. I think her getting out, doing things, getting back into life, will get her confidence up, and maybe get her past this little crush."

" Ok, so, are you going to help me with this? I mean, get Buffy back to just really not liking me too much? I'm really more comfortable that way, you know?" She looks hard at Willow, "Are we done with the jealous thing? Believe me, NO INTEREST HERE IN BLONDIE. Is that clear enough for you?"

" Yeah, I'm really sorry, ok? I … everything is just so screwed up right now. I guess I'm kinda like Buffy, I'm needing something to make sense to me. And I lashed out at you. I didn't mean it. I know we just got to get her back out there, and it'll be fine."

" I'm taking that as a yes, then?"

" Yes."

" Ok. Good. Then we'll do this, " Faith pauses. " Well, I guess I'll seeya Red." Faith turns and starts walking away.

" Faith… wait!" Willow runs after her. She stops in front of Faith.

" What?"

" Ummm… ok, when you came here? I wasn't really thrilled you were here."

" No kidding? And I thought those knives you were throwing at me with your eyes were just you're way of saying " Howdy, Faith, how ya been?"."

" C'mon, Faith, don't get sarcastic on me, ok?"

" Sorry, but really not getting what you want to say."

" Well, let me say it then," Willow smiles, " All I wanted to say was that, I wasn't happy you were here. I was kind of rude to you about it. I didn't think it was a good idea unleashing you on the world again."

" So far, Red, you're not doing much but getting me a little annoyed. Where's this going?"

"I just wanted to say that I see I was wrong. You've changed, and I didn't… haven't … given you your creds for that. I wanted to say I'm sorry."

" Don't sweat it Red. Not necessary, ok?"

" Yes, it really kinda is. See, I really liked tonight, up til Buffy showed up. It's the first time I've been able to talk to anybody about things. I… it's been really tough, you know? And with Buffy gone, I didn't have anyone I could talk to. Not girl to girl. I really missed that. And you gave it to me, and … aw crap, this is hard. I'd really like to be your friend, ok?" Willow blushes.

" I thought we were, " Faith shrugs. " Aren't we?"

Willow smiles. She moves closer to Faith, and touches her arm. " Yeah, I guess we are."

" Ok, uhhh… well… seeya," Faith suddenly feels a little nervous. " Gotta motor."

" Faith?"

Faith sighs. " We're not going to hug now, are we?"

Willow chuckles, " No. Not if you don't want to."

"Ok, so what do you want?"

" Just…" Willow moves closer, and her fingers brush lightly on Faith's sleeve. " I kinda get why Buffy's crushing on you."

" Yeah, me too. She's nuts." Faith is feeling a whole lot more nervous now.

" No, I don't think so. I think she sees what I see. A very strong, beautiful and incredibly alive woman. One who's funny, and smarter than she thinks, and … well, frankly, kinda sexy."

Faith forces a yawn. " Wow, tired. Who'd a thought? Gotta go." Faith starts off down the street.

"Faith!" Willow catches up to her. She stands in front of her. " Hasn't anyone every told you that before?"

" Yeah. Usually when they're trying to get me drunk and into bed."

Willow smiles warmly. " Don't worry. I'm not trying to get you into bed. I just wanted to thank you." She leans in, and holding Faith's head with her hand, kisses her softly and briefly on the lips. " Thank you. Good night."

Willow walks around Faith and disappears down the street.

Faith doesn't watch her go. She just stands there, bemused.

_This whole fucking town is crazy._

She walks down the street, into the night.

To be continued.


	6. Chapter 6

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 6

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox are the owners of the BtVS characters. Original characters are mine. The story is mine. Ok, everybody understand that now?

"'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.  
'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat. 'We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.'  
'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.  
'You must be," said the Cat. 'or you wouldn't have come here.'" Lewis Carroll

1

" Pull over here, " Buffy waves at the curb.

Ford complies, killing the ignition and lights. He looks around. _Where are we? I don't see any clubs around here._

" Ok, we're here… wherever that is, " Ford says, doubtfully. He turns to Buffy, who is staring out the windshield. " You're kinda quiet, Summers. You ok?"

" Do you trust me?" Buffy asks, tone flat.

" That's kind of a strange question to ask, Summers." Ford looks around, seeing the dilapidated buildings and dirty street.

Buffy turns to him, a small smile on her face. Her eyes seem sad. She takes his hand in hers, and rubs her thumb over the knuckles. " I really have to know, Ford. Do you trust me?"

" Yeah, Buff, " Ford says, " I do. Absolutely"

Her face seems to glow with his response. Smiling, she climbs over, sitting in his lap, facing him. She puts her arms around his neck, and brings her face close to his.

" You know I'd never hurt you, right?" She looks deeply into his eyes.

" Summers, what's going on?"

" Just tell me."

" Yes, I know you'd never hurt me." He gets a strange feeling; almost as if he has to pass some kind of test.

" Good," She whispers. She moves even closer, pressing against him, " Do you like me?"

His arms slip around her, holding her close.

" Yes, I like you Summers. You know that."

" Show me, " Her lips close on his, kissing him warmly.

He starts to caress her back and neck. Her lips open enough for her to use her tongue tip to outline his lips. Both sigh softly.

" God, Summers, what's that about?"

" Ford, you're special to me. Very special. I have something to tell you, something that might freak you. But don't be afraid, please, baby. I'd never harm you, right?"

" I Know…" Ford says softly. " I trust you. You can trust me, too."

She lays herself against him, pulling his head to her shoulder. She whispers in his ear.

" Ford, I was a vampire."

She feels him stiffen, pull away.

" _Was _a vampire, Ford. Not now, but I was."

Ford laughs nervously. He pushes her away.

" Nice one, Summers. You had me there for a minute."

" Look at me, Ford, look in my eyes, " Buffy tells him. " I'm not joking."

" Ok, then you're insane. Because that means you died. You're dead. You don't come back from that."

Buffy briefly explains what happened a few weeks ago. Ford appears confused.

" Buff, that's a bunch to dump on me," Ford shakes his head, " I don't know… I …"

" Ford, love, you don't have to understand it all. Just believe me. In me. Do you?"

He looks in her eyes, sees the honesty, the truth there. Something opens in him.

" I do, Buff, I do."

She nuzzles his neck, and her tongue draws a line from his ear to his chin. He shivers slightly at the thrill. She draws up, so she is sitting high on him. She pulls his head to her chest. She caresses his hair.

" You mean so much to me, Ford. I'd never let anything bad happen to you. Do you believe me?"

" Yes," He says softly, feeling wonderfully warm, pressed to her.

" I've changed. I'm not the girl I was. But what I feel for you, always felt for you, hasn't. Do you believe me?"

" Yes," he says, wrapped in the warmth of her arms and breasts.

" Then come, " She says softly. She slips out of his lap, and hops out of the car. " I want to show you something wonderful."

Ford gets out, taking her offered hand. She leads him down an alley.

"Where are we going?" He asks, a little nervous.

" A place I used to go when I was a vampire," Buffy says simply.

She feels him pull back.

" Ford… Billy, I'd never let anything bad happen to you. Do you trust me?" She moves to him, taking him in her arms. " Do you?"

" Buff, it's not you. It's them. What if…"

" Ford, I rule the undead in this town. You're safe." She holds him.

" You mean, ruled, don't you?"

She pulls him in, and kisses him. Her hands caress his back. She pulls away, and her eyes seem to glitter in the dim light.

" Do I?" She smiles.

He feels a thrill of fear and excitement.

She takes his hand, and leads him into the club.

2

" This is totally awesome!" Ford and Buffy are sitting in the gallery overlooking the main floor below. Buffy turns to him, and smiles, squeezing his arm.

" I'm so glad you like it, Ford. I really was worried you'd freak."

" No way, this is too cool, " Ford says, He points down to some people in costume below. " So, are those vampires?"

Buffy looks down to where Ford is pointing, and bursts out laughing. " Good god, no, Ford. No self –respecting vampire would dress like that. Those are poseurs. Vamp wannabes. The believe all that crap spewed out by the cheesy Hollywood flicks and Anne Rice like novels. They hang out here thinking this is real, the way real vampires act. Most come with the secret wish to be turned. A very few are; most just get fooled and eaten."

" Geeze, Buff. That's harsh!"

Buffy looks at him with a strange expression on her face. " The world is harsh, Ford. I hope I didn't break any illusions of yours telling you that, but frankly, look around you. Not just here, I mean everywhere. Literally or metaphorically, it's eat or be eaten honey."

Ford frowns. Buffy moves closer, and puts his arm around her shoulders " Now baby, I didn't mean you. No one would touch my darling sweet Ford. They know better."

She smiles at him. Seeing him continue to frown, she snuggles closer. " Now, you're not gonna get all broody on me, are you lover?"

" You've gotten awfully cynical, Buff. Not sure being a vampire was all that good for you."

Buffy sighs. " Ford, this isn't just me seeing the world through my vampire eyes. I was a slayer a lot longer than I was a vampire. I've seen a lot of things; things that would scare you silly. There's a lot of monsters out there that wear human faces, and I'm not talking vampires, either."

" I know that, Summers. Been a reporter. Seen a lot of bad things done by humans. I'm not naïve. But don't you believe there's some good in the world? Some people who do good things, simply because it's the right thing to do?"

"Maybe. I admit, I used to believe in that strongly. But I've seen too much, experienced too much to believe it so strongly now." She takes his hand in hers. " Good and evil, black and white? Too simplistic of concepts. Way too many grays mixed in. Even the purest white has a little gray in it." She looks into his face, and nods. " You don't believe me. Look, sweetie. Vampires are predators. Same as a wolf. They just happen to be at the very top of the food chain in this reality. If a wolf takes down a deer to eat it, would you go out and say. " Bad Mr. Wolf, that's wrong, You shouldn't do that?" She looks at him quizzically.

Ford, despite himself, laughs. " No I guess not." " Of course not. It's not a morality issue with vampires. It's a survival issue. The ' evil ' thing comes in because , instead of deer, they prey on humans. Sorry, but human blood just happens to be the diet. But because it's human, they're labeled ' evil'. But it's not that simple. Vampires, like every other creature, have to eat to live. What? They should all go on diets and die? Tell that to Mr. Wolf, Ok?"

Ford shakes his head, but indicates her to go on.

" Look at humans for a moment. God, they hunt for sport. A wolf goes out and takes down a deer, and eats it for survival. It works hard to get that deer, and as often fails as succeeds. Now, take Joe Hunter. He goes out in his 4 wheel drive, carries a gun that could blow a hole in the side of a house, and using a scope, and drops a deer from a distance. And does he do this to survive? Er, no. He does it to eat maybe a small portion of the meat, as a treat, then mounts the beast's head on the wall as a trophy. Now you tell me, which of those scenario's is sicker, huh?"

" Ok, Buff. I'm not real down with the hunting thing, but you're not going to sit there and tell me that vampires are merely poor tortured souls misunderstood and bedeviled. That their really good little creatures just looking for food."

" Do I look that stupid to you? Have you been listening? They're predators, Ford. Same as the wolf. And same as the wolf, they're not human! You can't apply human morality to them, because it doesn't fit. Anymore than anthropomorphizing your pet is right. Good, evil doesn't apply. They hunt to live, and they kill to eat. Simple as that. They don't torture themselves over their prey, any more than a wolf goes and grieve over the deer it just killed. It's not in it's nature, either one." She sighs, " It's not about good and evil, Ford. It's about who's on top. Who has the power. Don't you see that?"

" Sorry, Buff. Guess I'm not big brained enough to get it. I'm just a guy who's never been a vampire, you know?"

Buffy gets up and musses his hair. "Awww… poor little Ford brain, " She leans over and kisses the top of his head. " Did I go and hurt it all bad?"

" You're a goof, " Ford laughs.

" Uh-huh, " She agrees, leaning her chin on her shoulder. She nibbles his ear, which elicits a little gasp." That's me. So why're we getting all serious here, when we're supposed to be having fun?" She tickles him, and he squirms on the bench. "Are we having fun yet?"

" Buffy, stop it!" Ford giggles. " Aw, ticklish?" Buffy licks his neck. " Like that better?"

" Geeze, you're crazy!" For a brief second, Buffy's eyes harden, then she laughs merrily. " Maybe… now, you wanted to see vampires, right?"

" Well, yeah." Ford looks over the railing. " Where are they?"

" Not down there, silly. Too hard to pick out. Look up." Ford raises his gaze, looking at her questioningly. Buffy gestures around the Gallery. " Up here, honey. This is where the vamps hang. Most of the guys and gals up here are vamps. They like to watch the humans below."

Ford looks around, and shakes his head. "They look so…normal."

" We're not just about the fangs and wrinklies, honey." She kisses his neck.

" We?" " Sorry, force of habit." Buffy giggles. She whispers in his ear. " got you a little present. Want it?"

" Really? For me?" Ford grins. " I didn't get you anything!"

" Don't worry, baby, you're giving me lots" She smiles. She reaches in her purse, and before Ford can stop her, puts a collar around his neck. It's all black leather and silver details, the silver weaved throughout in an intricate pattern.

" What the hell? Buffy?"

" Hmmm… looks good." She smiles.

" But… god, a dog collar?"

" No, baby. It's special. It just marks you as mine. Anyone in here seeing that, knows you belong to me, and to not touch you." Buffy smiles wickedly, " unless I say they can."

" I feel like a dope!"

" Mmmm… but it makes you look all sexy," Buffy whispers in his ear. She reaches into his shirt, and tweaks his nipple. " Don't you wanna be sexy for me?" She rubs up against his back

" What are you doing to me?" Ford feels strange, but loves it.

" Mmm… making you my sweet little pet. Don't you wanna be my lil pet?" She pouts. Ford shakes his head. Then he grins, and makes a little growly sound in his throat.

Buffy giggles. " Good puppy, nice puppy" She reaches down, and slipping her hand under his waistband, touches his groin. " Mmmm… naughty puppy." She purrs.

" SUMMERS!" He exclaims. And yet, he doesn't move.

_Boys are sooo easy,_ Buffy thinks to herself.

" So, did you want to meet a vampire, sweetie?" Buffy asks.

" Oh yeah, that'd be cool, " Ford says.

Buffy looks around the Gallery, and her gaze rests on Zoë. She is talking with another vampire, a small delicate redhead named Linda. Buffy stares at Zoë, and she turns, mid sentence, and looks at Buffy. She smiles and waves. Buffy waves her over, nodding her head to indicate that Linda is welcome too.

" Hey, Buffy!" Zoë calls out cheerily. " Is this cutie for us?" Zoë comes over to Ford, and runs her hand over his shoulders. "He's nice!" She smiles. Then she sees the collar and her face falls. " Ah, man. You've already claimed him!"

" Hi, Buffy, " Linda says softly." He looks positively yummy."

Linda is petite, like Buffy, and has slightly wild looking red hair, and deep blue eyes. She is soft spoken, and unlike Zoë, dresses rather conservatively. She has a very mobile face, and has a biting wit.

" So, I'm guessing we don't get to snack on this one, huh?" Linda looks a little sad. " Too bad, he looks like he'd taste sweet."

" Now, girls, This is Ford, a good friend. And he wanted to meet you, so be nice," Buffy smiles, but there's a hint of threat in her eyes.

" Hi, Ford," Zoë giggles, " So, do you like manual or automatic?"

" Oh, he's definitely stick shift, " Buffy chortles, " Nice, big stick shift."

Ford blushes.

" Oh, he's shy, " Linda says, " Wonder if he's shy in bed, too?"

" God, Summers, do all your friends have sex on the brain?" But you can tell he's loving the attention.

" Oh, please Ford. Don't tell me you're not loving it." Buffy makes a rude noise. Zoë and Linda giggle.

" Yeah, but what about blood? Don't you guys focus on blood?"

" Sure we do," Linda pipes up, " but we love to fuck, too. Blood and sex, Fordy, that's what we love. It's what it's all about, don't you know?"

" That's why we eat blood, Ford, " Zoë adds, " It warms, it nourishes, it carries life. It's… just the everything, and it's all mixed up with sex, because that's about life too."

" C'mon, girls. Don't get to breaking my poor boys brain again. I already done that tonight, and now it's playtime, " Buffy says.

" Cute but dumb, huh?" Linda smirks.

" No, Ford's smart." Buffy beams at him, " just, try explaining being a vampire to someone who's not. But he gets it."

" Oooo, cute and smart. " Zoë says, leaning over Ford. She licks his lips, " This could be fun!"

" ZOË?" Buffy says, pulling on Zoë's collar. " Did I say you could touch him?"

Zoë looks crestfallen, " I'm sorry, " She whispers.

Buffy pinches her side. " I'm sorry, what?"

" I'm sorry, mistress."

Ford looks a Buffy questioningly. Buffy winks at him.

" That's ok, baby, " Buffy coos, rubbing Zoë's ass. " I know you just got a little eager. I forgive you. Kiss?"

Zoë starts to kneel, but Buffy holds her up. " No baby, on my lips."

Zoë leans over, and kisses Buffy softly on the mouth. Buffy rubs her neck.

" Better?" Buffy asks, " Does Zoë love Buffy?"

" Oh yeah, I love my mistress, " Zoë says eagerly.

" Good baby," Buffy rewards her by pinching her nipple. Zoë sighs happily.

" She's such a sire's pet," Linda comments to Ford.

" Linda?" Buffy looks at her, " did you have something to say?"

" No, ma'am" Linda quivers.

" Do I have to punish you?"

" No, mistress, not at all."

" Ok, pet, " She smiles. " Is Marie here tonight?"

" I think so, " Linda says, " I saw her floating around the Gallery earlier."

" Good. Go find her, and if she's not hunting, have her join us up in the playroom."

The girls brighten up immediately. " The playroom?" Zoë smiles broadly. " We get to play with him?"

" Of course you do. I'm not greedy, " She turns to Ford. " you don't mind if the join us, do you?"

Ford looks dazed. " No… no." He smiles. " Not at all."

Buffy sits in his lap, and caresses his ear. " You'll like Marie. She's…sweet."

Ford gulps. He's convinced he's died and gone to heaven. Buffy, Linda and Zoë laugh.

" I don't think Ford minds at all, " Buffy says, wiggling a little in his lap. " I'd say, he's rather enthusiastic."

Zoë and Linda giggle, Ford turns red.

" God, he's so cute when he blushes, " Linda says, leaning over and sniffing him, " and his blood smells so nice!"

" No snacking. You know the rules."

" I know, " Linda sighs, " I know."

"Well, what're you two waiting for? Sunrise? Go find Marie and bring her up."

" Ok"

" We'll be back"

" Don't start without us!"

The two girls flit away into the crowd.

" My god, Summers," Ford says, still blushing.

" Oh, god has nothing to do with this, " Buffy says, licking his neck. " So, ready to see the playroom?"

" Uh huh. Where is it?" Ford asks,

" Upstairs," Buffy says, smiling. She stands, and pulls Ford to his feet, She takes his hands, and plants them firmly on her ass.

" So baby, who do you love?"

" Actually, I'm kinda loving that little redhead. She looks hot, " Ford teases her.

" You devil!" Buffy playfully slaps his chest. She wiggles her behind under his hands." Now, tell me, who do you love?"

" You , summers, you goof!"

" Mmmm… give us a hug."

Ford pulls her closer, and Buffy slips her arms around his neck. They hug, and Buffy playfully bites his neck…hard.

" Summers!" Ford looks at her, concerned.

" Ooops," Buffy giggles, breaking away and heading towards the stairs. " Force of habit, " She giggles. She turns and starts off.

Ford stands there, looking at her. His heart is racing in his chest. _God, she's so damned sexy!_

She turns, and pushing out her chest, looks at him, pouty face. " Coming, lover?"

Ford exhales, _Almost_, he thinks.

He follows her like a puppy.

3

" Come on in, Ford," Buffy says, flipping on the lights of the playroom.

"Wow"

The playroom, unlike the club below, has a very high tech feel to it. The walls ore an off white, the lighting, though sufficient, is recessed, giving the room a glow rather than a harshness. Everything is very modern in lines and form, and there is lots of leather, chrome and clear Lucite.

In the center is a large round bed, almost more a platform. It's mounted on a clear Lucite base, and seems to almost be floating off the floor. Painted on the walls are various scenes, modernistic and somewhat abstract, using lots of bright colors and bizarre forms. Hung between the scenes are a variety of toys for a variety of tastes. In one corner, a clear shelf holds the room's stereo system. Next to it is a bar.

Buffy walks over to the bar, and catching that Ford is watching her, puts a little extra bounce in her sashay. She turns on the stereo, which plays soft sensual jazz. She turns and smiles. " So, do you like my little playroom?"

" This place is amazing, Summers," Ford says in awe. " Is there any end to the surprises you've got for me?"

" Oh, I saved the best for last," Buffy coos. She flicks a switch by the stereo, and suddenly, the room is dimmer.. and the floor is gone. Ford , startled, falls on his knees .

" God, Buff. What's the deal?" He gingerly touches the floor. It's there, just invisible.

" Clear coated Lucite, backed up by one way mirrors. Look down, and you can see the entire club from here."

He does, and gasps. Below him is the Gallery where they were, and below that the main floor. He has the sensation of floating on air.

" Pretty cool, huh?" Buffy says gleefully, watching his reaction.

" Awesome, Buffy. Totally awesome, " Ford says, watching the action below.

" It's a cool way to keep an eye on the club, and it gives this great floating sensation, " She says. " How 'bout a drink?"

" You guys drink? I mean… non blood stuff?"

" Of course we do, dummy, " Buffy says, secretly loving that Ford is beginning to think of her as a vampire, and not freaking, " We eat and drink stuff, just no nourishment in it. So, what can I get you, stud?"

" Buffy? Not a stud, just a guy, OK? Really don't want to be thought of as an object."

" I'm sorry, Ford," Buffy pouts prettily. " So, are muffin, beefcake and strawberry out too?"

" You're such a goof, Summers. I never know when you're serious or not."

Buffy's voice takes on a strange note, " Oh believe me, Ford. When it comes to you? I'm very serious." She lightens her voice and laughs, " And now, not stud, what can I get you?"

" I dunno, Buff. Not much of a drinker." Ford shrugs.

" Ah, I know just the thing. It's sweet and light, with just a bit of tartness… and light on the booze, so you won't get drunk. Of course, if you're sober, however will I take advantage of you?"

" Just be your sweet, sexy self, Summers. Trust me, you can have me anytime you want me."

" Really?" Buffy mixes in a little drug as she fixes his drink. " You flatterer"

She walks over, and hands him the glass. She takes his hand, and leads him to one of the overstuff lounges scattered around the room. She sits and pats the seat next to her.

"Sit next to me, lover."

Ford sits, and she snuggles close to him.

" This is nice, just being here with you," She sighs.

There's a bit of a commotion at the door, and Zoë and Linda enter, leading a third girl.

The new girl is wearing a simple white floor length gown. On her feet, which peek through the hem, are white sandals. She wears a small gold chain on her neck. Otherwise, she is unadorned.

She has long raven colored hair that falls all the way to her bottom. Her face is oval shaped, and her skin is pale, almost translucent in appearance. Her eyes are large and brown, and are adorned with thick lashes. Her mouth is the color of rips cherries, bow shaped and full lipped.

She stands between the other girls, looking down.

" Hello, Marie," Buffy says brightly, " I'm so glad you could join us."

" Thank you for having me, ma'am" Marie almost whispers.

"Marie is very shy…at first, " Buffy smiles.

" Is she a vampire?"

" Oh yes, " Buffy speaks up. " Marie? Show him!"

Marie shakes her head, which sends her hair flying. Her face vamps out.

" Ok, then , " Ford gulps. " Guess I've got a lot to learn."

" Don't worry, baby. We'll teach you, " Buffy pats his leg. " Marie, darling, come here and greet our guest."

" Yes, ma'am, " Marie's features settle back into their human form. She walks over to Ford, and stands shyly before him.

" Hello, sir, " Marie says softly.

" Ford, my name's Ford," Ford encourages her.

" Hello, Ford, sir, " She smiles demurely.

Ford is enchanted by the girl. He reaches out for her hand, but she shies away. Ford looks at Buffy.

" Marie know the rules, " Buffy says lightly, " It's ok, Marie. You can touch him."

Marie places her hand on his. She smiles at him.

" He's so pretty, Buffy."

Buffy turns to Ford. " Do you like Marie, Ford?"

Ford nods, smiling.

" Marie, sweetie, why don't you sit in Ford's lap, keep him company?" Buffy stands up.

" You're leaving?" Ford sounds anxious.

"Of course not, silly. I just need to talk to Linda and Zoë for a minute." She turns to Marie. " You know the rules, right darling?"

" Yes ma'am, no eating."

" Good girl. Now, you have fun." She walks away.

" I like you," Marie says softly, stroking Ford's face, " You're pretty."

Ford blushes." You're very pretty too, Marie."

"Can I kiss you?"

" Yes."

They kiss, Marie's hand slipping under Ford's shirt.

" How come she gets to play with him?" Zoë complains as Buffy walks up.

" Because, Marie is very good at what she does. The whole shyness thing turns guys on, and I want Ford definitely turned on. " Buffy's face breaks into a wicked smile. " He's very important to my plan, honey. I need him to be happy, that's our job tonight. I've already given him the drug."

"Plan? " Linda asks, " Drug?"

Buffy explains briefly about her plan to return to her 'old' life.

"… the drug is a mystical compound. It won't harm him, just make him very happy, and very compliant. And nice thing? It keeps on working. I want him to think only of how much he wants to please me." Buffy grins. Then she frowns, all business. " It's very important that he is _not harmed or turned!_ I can't emphasize that enough. I need him human, ok? Understood?"

" Yes, ma'am" Both answer.

"Good, " She smiles at them. She reaches out, caressing their cheeks. " you're my very good pets."

They lap up the praise.

" Do my pets want to play with their mistress?" Buffy asks softly.

They nod eagerly. They know what Buffy play can mean.

Buffy takes their hands, and leads them back to the sofa. Dropping their hands, she looks down with some amusement on the scene. Marie has been very busy in the last few minutes, and already has Ford's shirt off. She is licking his nipples, while Ford has his head back, sighing.

" Marie! You little minx!" Buffy pretends to be shocked. "What're you doing to my boy?"

Ford, startled, sits up suddenly. Marie almost tumbles out of his lap, but manages to hang on. She turns to Buffy, and smiles shyly. " He's so pretty. And he smells nice."

" Buffy, geeze, I'm sorry… I let things …"

"Shhh," Buffy leans over, kissing Ford softly, " It's ok. I want her to please you. She is, isn't she?"

" Yes, " Ford gulps.

" Ok, then. But I have to tell you, there are some rules in the playroom, and one of them is, you are way over-dressed!" Buffy turns to Linda and Zoë. "Girls?"

Giggling, the three of them surround Ford, and before he can protest, they've stripped him down to his shorts. Buffy watches, laughing at Ford's obvious distress. She looks at his briefs, and sighs.

" No, my goodness, no!" she pretends to be severe. " Those will never do. White briefs, Ford? Are you like a virgin?" She makes some tsking noises with her tongue. She turns to Linda. " Honey, go fetch one of those nice little things we keep around, just for these little emergencies."

Ford looks at Buffy quizzically

She smiles at him. " Trust me."

His gaze seems to go far away.

Linda swooshes out , and is back in a flash. She's carrying something in her hand, which she shows the others.

It's a leopard print male thong. All of the girls giggle.

" Buffy?" He looks at her, confused.

"Aw, honey, you'll look so sexy in it, " She moves close to him. " Don't you want to be sexy for me?" putting her hand lightly on his chest, she licks him from sternum to belly button. " Please?"

He shivers, extremely aroused. But more, a compulsion comes in his mind, that he wants to do anything to please Buffy.

" Sure, Buff. If you want me to." He says, a little dazed.

" Ladies, " She waves towards him.

" Er, I can do that, " He reaches for the thong.

" No, no, sweetie. Don't take ALL our fun away, " Buffy coos.

The girls surround him, and pull down his briefs. All of them smile when his special equipment comes into view.

" So, did I tell you?" Buffy says knowingly.

" Definitely, four on the floor, " Linda says.

" Hearst shifter, with custom knob," Zoë giggles.

" Zoom, zoom, " Marie licks her lips.

For feels very strange. The lights, the heat, the music all seem so different, so alive. The girls touches arouse him in ways he's never felt before. For a brief moment, a corner of his mind says _Run!_ But he sees Buffy, glowing in the low light, looking at him, devouring him with her eyes, and he ignores it, ignores it all. He wants this.

After a few more adjustments, Ford is wearing the leopard thong. He stands there, blushing, as his excitement is very obvious.

" What do you think, girls? Should we keep him?"

There are general noises of approval and agreement.

" Ok, Marie, your turn"

Zoë and Linda make quick work of Marie's clothing. Her dress is a puddle on the floor, and underneath, she is completely nude. Her softball sized breasts sag just slightly, but her nipples stand up proud and firm. Her pale body is shimmery in the soft light, and her mound is shaved except for a single line of fur near her lips. She turns to Ford, eyes lowered.

" Am I pretty?" She asks, her voice throaty and soft.

" You're very pretty Marie." Ford's breathing is irregular.

_I just love to watch her work 'em_ Buffy thinks, watching Ford's reaction to her.

Buffy turns to Linda and Zoë. She frowns. " Why aren't you naked yet?"

The girls get a guilty look, and as quickly as possible, their clothes join Ford's and Marie's on the floor.

Linda has very round curves, and like Buffy, very perky breasts. Her nipples are small and pink. Her mound curls are as red as her hair, and is trimmed into the shape of a heart. Zoë is lean, with slightly larger breasts and long brown nipples. Otherwise, figure is almost boyish, with a tight little butt and lean hips. She, like Buffy, keeps her mound shaved.

Buffy nods approvingly. " Are you girls happy to see each other?" She asks.

Almost as if cued, the two girls melt into each others arms, and being to kiss passionately. Their hands wander over each other.

Ford sits wide eyed, watching them. Marie, seeing his interest, adjusts so her head is near his lap. She stares fascinated at his penis.

_So easy,_ Buffy chuckles, watching Ford's reaction_, he's just putty in my hands._

Buffy clears her throat. Linda and Zoë look up.

" Did you forget somebody?" Her brows arch.

They laugh, and move over to Buffy. Unlike themselves, however, they undress Buffy very slowly, almost making it a strip tease for Ford. He is watching with intense interest as one by one, articles of Buffy's clothing disappear. But more, they caress and kiss Buffy while stripping her, and pinch her nipples and other fun places. They get her down to her white stockings and lacy French cut panties, when she stops them.

Ford is in shock. As beautiful as the others are, he only has eyes for Buffy. Combined with his feeling and the drug in his body, the sexual heat is making him crazy. He can't take his eyes off of her. Smiling as his reaction, Buffy walks over, her hips rolling and her perky little breasts bobbing slightly. She knows the effect she's having, and is loving it.

She sits primly across knees, and leans in to kiss him.

" Is my sweet boy having a good time?" She asks throatily, gently pressing her breasts to his chest.

Ford, breathing heavily, groans his response. Buffy laughs and then looks down at his thong. " My, my, that looks almost painful, " She says, gently touching him. He quivers. " Marie, honey, can't you take care of that for our boy?"

Marie nods eagerly, and moves her head closer to Ford's thong. She stares at it hungrily.

" I thought… you and I…?" Ford gasps out.

" Aw, sweetie. We will. But I'm going to be a little busy. Let Marie have her fun, ok?" Linda and Zoë giggle in the background.

Ford nods. _Busy?_

Buffy walks back to the other two girls, her ass swaying sexily in front of Ford. He almost loses it right there.

Marie, getting her go ahead, swarms over Ford, her hair covering his lap as she pulls down his thong and begins to pleasure him. Ford's head goes back, and he lets out a loud groan. Reality seems to sink away into colors and sounds and feelings.

Buffy, standing next to the other girls, looks at them. They are kissing passionately, and for a moment don't notice her. She smiles, then speaks.'

" Darlings, please- please me" She says softly.

Linda and Zoë break their kiss, and look at her lustily. They stand up and flank their mistress.

Ford, hearing Buffy speak, looks up. His eyes are slightly gazed. They focus, and he can't believe what he's seeing. His head lolls to his shoulder, mouth open.

As Buffy stands between them, the girls start to make love to her. Zoë expertly uses her tongue on her breasts, teasing and pleasing her until her brown nipples stand firmly at attention. Linda skillfully uses her hands to rub and caress Buffy all over, paying special attention to her most intimate and sensitive areas.

Buffy stands there, relishing their special touches. _Oh god, I forgot how good they make me feel._ Her breathing becomes ragged as her pets please her. Her face flushes, and she licks her lips sensuously. _Mmmm… yes my babies, there… and oh yes.. there… oh god there!_

Ford feels Marie pleasuring him, but in his mind it's Buffy.

Buffy turns to Linda, and offering her wrist, commands her. " Taste me, lover."

Linda smiles up at her, and then her face vamps out. Taking Buffy's wrist in her small, delicate hands, she licks at the veins lovingly. She sinks her fangs a little into Buffy's wrist, and sucks gently.

Buffy gasps as she feels the needle like teeth sink in her flesh . Her eyes close slowly. Her mouth drops open, and she's panting loudly._ Oooo yes, the pain … I forgot… oh I want… please, yes … oh god baby feels so…yeessss… please baby… ahhhh._

" Slower, Linda. Slower… make it last," She hisses._ More, more oh god more._

Shaking her head, Buffy puts her hand on Zoë's head, and pushes it down.

" Kiss me, my love, " She says.

Zoë grab's Buffy's panties, and pulls them down until they're at her ankles. She puts her hands on Buffy's hips, and using her tongue, begins to pleasure her mistress.

_Oh god oh god YES… oh sooo good… mmmmm… my sweet baby, my loving baby…yes… there baby…right there…right THERE!_

Buffy moans softly, the pure sweetness of the pain and pleasure hitting her hard.

Linda, knowing to not take too much, stops and lets her features morph back into her human form. She licks up every little bit of blood that spilled from the wound. She looks up at Buffy and smiles, licking her lips.

Buffy looks down on her, smiling and red faced, and caresses her hair. Linda almost seems to shiver in delight at her attentions. Buffy pulls her up, and pulls her to her breasts. Linda suckles them, sighing contentedly.

Buffy's panting moans start to turn into whimpering cries as Zoë brings her closer to the edge. Zoë looks up, shivering in joy at her mistress's pleasure. She feels a warm wet burning between her thighs.

_So close, so close my love so close do it do it god do it! Ahhh…. Ahhhh… Ahhhh…_

" Hold me, " She breathes to Linda, as her body begins to shake

Linda holds her, and Zoë helps, as her body begins to stiffen and shake. Buffy cries out in ecstasy as wave after wave of pleasure runs through her.

The girls add their voices to hers, as if her pleasure is their pleasure.

Ford feels as if in a dream. Buffy seems to be surrounded by colors, her voice like music. Her screams break his brain, and he groans as his pleasure hits its peak.

There is a muffled giggling coming from his lap as Marie diligently keeps things clean and tidy.

The rest of the night is spent in sexual debauchery, partners being switched around, everyone getting a taste of everyone else . They finally wind up on the big bed, all moving around pleasuring each other.

Buffy is the only one who abstains somewhat from this. Mostly she is watching, keeping an eye on her girls, making sure they don't get out of control. She's not a nun about it, and she manages to get a taste of everyone, but mostly she watches.

She allows each of the vampires to take a little taste of Ford's blood. Not a lot, just enough to increase both their and his pleasure.

In the end, with the dawn approaching, the three vampires and Buffy are awake, circling Ford, who is snoozing happily between them.

" Well, I think we wore the poor boy out, " Linda cracks, licking her lips. " but I have to say, he's pretty rugged. Most don't last that long."

" He's a keeper, Buffy, that's for sure, " Zoë says, caressing Ford's leg.

" He's a good boy, and he'll make a nice pet," Buffy nods. " He already wants to do anything I want him to do."

" Can I have him, ma'am?" Marie asks," When you're done with him? I'd like to make him my pet. I like him!"

"No, Marie. Ford is not to be killed. He's important to what I'm going to do, I need him alive to do it. So he lives."

The others groan.

" At least, until my plan is done. Then, Marie, you can have him. OK?"

" Thank you, Buffy, ma'am" Marie smiles shyly. " I'll take good care of him."

" I just wanted to say, ladies, you did very well tonight. I'm very pleased with all of you. A few more times with you, and I'm sure my sweet boy, " Buffy musses Ford's hair,"… will be willing to do anything with me. And oh, Zoë? Linda? Very nice. I loved what you did to me earlier," Buffy smiles at them. She pulls each close in turn, kissing them passionately

They sigh happily, preening under her praise.

" Now, I know you've all worked hard, so I have some fresh blood for you in the 'fridge. Too late to hunt tonight, but micro it and it'll taste ok. Thank you so much." She waves them off. " Go eat while I get my boy ready to go home."

They get up and disappear into the kitchen.

Buffy leans over Ford, and kisses him softly. He snorts, then his eyes fly open.

"Wha? Huh?" He says, looking around. "Where'd everybody go?"

" Silly boy, you fell asleep. The others are having breakfast in the kitchen." She strokes his chest with her nail. "C'mon baby, time to get dressed. It's getting close to dawn."

" Oh shit! Summers, I didn't mean to keep you out all night! I'm so sorry!" Ford says, sitting up.

" Why? Didn't you like our fun?" Buffy pouts, sounding hurt. She wiggles close to him, stroking his thigh.

" Oh god, Buff. I've never experienced anything like that before. I… I…" He starts to tear up, he's so happy.

Buffy hugs him, patting his back. "It's ok, lover. It's not the last time."

" Huh?" He says.

" Oh, the girls just _loved _you!" Buffy smiles. " They asked me to bring you back again."

" Really?"

" Oh yeah. I think Marie's in love… at least with your penis, " Buffy giggles.

Ford blushes.

" You're with me now, Ford. I'm going to show you things that'll blow your mind."

" Why don't I doubt that?" Ford says, recovering a little of his wits.

Buffy smile. " Now, give me a nice kiss."

Ford starts to lean in toward her, but she puts up her hand.

" No, baby. Not there, " She says, softly.

She takes her nail, and draws it across her soft breast, cutting it just above the nipple. Drops of blood dribble down over her nipple.

" There," She points at her breast.

Ford moves down, and suckles on her breast hungrily

Buffy pulls his head close, and smiles an evil smile.

" That's my boy. My sweet, sweet boy, " She croons softly.

4

Dawn is breaking in the sky as Buffy strides up the walkway to the Revello drive address.

Stopping by the porch, she slips off her sandals. She grimaces at the light.

She feels a slight twinge in her wrist, and looks at it. _Damn, gotta do something about that._

Opening her purse, she retrieves a handkerchief. She wraps the wrist, hiding the wound._ Better._

_Damn, I should've ended it sooner. But we were having such fun,_ a large smile spreads over her features, remembering the night. _Just have to be vewy, vewy quiet. Heh, heh, heh._

Buffy climbs the porch stairs, being careful to avoid squeaks. She prays to all the sleep gods that they keep Faith and her mom asleep until at least she can sneak upstairs.

Opening the front door quietly, she puts her head in._ Thank you. Thank you! _she thinks to herself when she hears no sounds. She slips in the door, and closes it quietly. _Now, if I can only make it upstairs!_

She crosses the foyer, and is on the first riser when Joyce's voice rings out from the kitchen.

" Buffy, honey? Is that you?"

_Aw, shit!_

Buffy freezes, then sighs. _Busted, I'm so busted! Well, at least it's only mom._

" Yes, mom. It's me." Buffy replies, " Just going to take a shower."

" Ok, honey. Come into the kitchen after you shower. We need to talk."

" Ok, mom. Be down in a few."

_Oh man, I'm so dead!_

30 minutes later, a freshly washed Buffy, wrapped in a robe and towel on head, walks into the kitchen.

There sits her mom, who on seeing her, frowns a little.

_So dead. I'm so, so dead._

However, light years worse, is Faith, sitting next to her in her sweats, grinning ear to ear.

_Where's that nice Hellmouth to swallow you up whole when you need it?_

Buffy walks over to her mom, who offers her cheek up for a kiss.

" Hi, mom. Hi, Faith"

" Hello, Buffy, please sit down."

" Heya, Buff, " Faith winks. " Somebody's in big trouble" She sings softly.

" That's enough, Faith," Joyce says, but she pats Faith's hand. She turns to her daughter, frowning just a little.

" Ok, young lady . I've been rather worried about you, honey. Where have you been all night?"

" Ummm… ahh… well, with Ford, mom. I mean, we went to a couple of places, and then he invited me home for a nightcap, and we got to talking and boy, we got sleepy and fell asleep and then woke up and oh dear look at the time and by that time the sun was coming up and Ford drove me home and I'm so sorry."

"Uh huh. And dear old mom is old and senile and doesn't know anything, right?" Joyce nods her head.

" Mom!' Buffy says, embarrassed.

Faith in the meantime is sitting back, lapping it up like the cat at the cream bowl. So Joyce can't see, she's giving Buffy winks and the thumbs up sign.

" Faith, thank you for your input, but I don't need you encouraging my daughter, " Joyce says without even looking. Faith blushes.

Joyce sighs. " At least you were with Billy whom I trust to watch out for you. Tell me at least you were careful!"

" Mom, please!" Buffy blushes furiously.

" Don't ' Mom' me, young lady. These days, with all the diseases going around, I want to be sure your thinking safe"

" We were safe, mom. Billy wore protection."

" Whew. Thank goodness for that!" Joyce exclaims.

" We're not children, mom. We're adults!"

Faith snorts.

" No comments out of you, Faith, " Buffy growls.

"Oh really, Blondie? Whatcha gonna do, hit me?" Faith smirks.

Buffy's brow clouds over.

"Adults, huh?" Joyce asks, ignoring their exchange. " Seems to me adults would remember to cal those they love and let them know they're ok, " Joyce sighs , " When I checked your room at 1 a.m., I just thought ' ok, out having a good time'. At 2 a.m. I started thinking, ' hope she's ok'. After 3 a.m., I just didn't go back to bed at all."

" I'm sorry, mom, " Buffy mumbles, " I didn't mean to worry you."

" I know, honey, but you did. A simple phone call telling me you'd be late, would've saved a lot of worry." Joyce relents when she sees how miserable Buffy look. " honey, I'm not mad. I was just worried about you. After everything that's gone on, I was scared something awful happened. Faith, when she got up at 5 a.m. for her run, went out looking, seeing if she could find you."

Buffy looks at Faith, her face softening.

" You did? That was so sweet, " She says, smiling.

" Don't get sappy, B. Good thing I didn't find you. I'm pretty sure car guy…"

" Ford."

" … yeah, him, woulda been real embarrassed to have me yelling at him for keeping you out late and worrying your mom, and then you woulda gotten it next!"

But Buffy acts as if she doesn't hear Faith. She just smiles. _She really cares about me!_ She gloats.

"What're you grinnin' about, dope?" Faith sees her expression.

"Nothing."

" Buffy?" Joyce says." Buffy!" She repeats.

" Mom?"

" Next time you know you're going to be late, you call me, ok? I don't care what time, you just call me. Clear?"

" Yes mom, I'm really, really sorry."

Joyce shakes her head. "Well, you're too old to ground , and too big to spank…"

" Not for me, Joyce. I'll do it, " Faith smiles wickedly

Buffy blushes. And secretly gets tingly, thinking about it.

" Thank you Faith, but don't help me, ok?" Joyce cracks. Faith looks embarrassed. " Well, my darling delinquent, " Joyce says, "feel like some breakfast?"

Buffy nods. " oh yeah, I'm starving!"

Joyce feigns shock. " Oh, my goodness. My daughter has an appetite. Maybe this staying out all night making love is a good thing!" She turns to Faith. " What do you think?"

" GOD! MOM! PLEASE!"

" Well, I know I like a nice snack after a good…" Faith makes a grunting sound. " Guess it's not just me." She laughs.

" You guys are awful!" Buffy declares, smiling and blushing and looking adorable.

" Teach you to stay out all night without calling, " Joyce laughs. "Waffles?"

" please?" Buffy asks. " Extra butter and syrup?"

" God, he musta…" Faith starts, but Buffy cuts her off with a look.

Joyce notices the bandage on Buffy's wrist.

"What's that?" Joyce asks.

" What's what?" Buffy asks, all innocence and light.

"" This, young lady," She grabs Buffy's wrist, holding it up.

" Oh, that, " Buffy blushes. " We got sorta… frisky…" She trails off.

" Frisky?" Faith snorts.

" I don't want to know. I really don't want to know! " Joyce throws her hands up in mock horror, and walks away..

"Thanks so much, Faith, for helping, " Buffy grouses.

" Oh, lighten up, B." Faith shift chairs moving to sit next to Buffy. " So , tell me, how was car guy?"

" Ford!'

" Ok, Ford. How was he?"

Buffy looks in the direction of the kitchen, then back. " He was… great" She giggles.

" Really? Gee, he was cute, but looking at him… " Faith shakes her head. " So… ummm… how was he…" She makes a hand gesture.

" Think Hearst shifter, with a custom knob." Buffy gloats.

" Really? Geeze!" Faith's eyes go wide. " Hey, when you're done with him, can I have him?"

They both giggle.

" How's his… gas mileage?"

Buffy looks like she's thinking about it. " Mmmm… well…he's got pretty good gas mileage… and fills up pretty quick between stops".

" Oh?" Faith nods. " How many…"

Buffy holds up three fingers.

"….impressive…"

She adds another.

" Holy… ok, now I know I want him when you're done!."

" Well, Faith. You don't have to wait…" Buffy trails off.

"Huh?"

" I'll share!" Buffy grins.

" Buffy, he's your boyfriend!"

" Faith! He's a boy, and he's a friend, but hardly a _boyfriend!_" Buffy laughs. " more like, friend with privileges"

" Geeze. Buff. I couldn't do that. Wouldn't be right!"

" Why not? I don't mind," Buffy grins, " and anyway, he kinda likes you."

"Really?" Faith perks up.

" Oh yeah, he talked a lot about you last night. Kept asking about the hot brunette at the table. I was beginning to think he wanted to be with you rather than me."

" Aw, B. I'm sorry," Faith says.

" Naw, like I said, just friends." Buffy gets a wicked gleam. " Of course, we could share him together."

"What?"

" You know…" Buffy starts counting her fingers. " One little, two little, three little Indians…"

" BUFFEE!" Faith cries, making a face.

" Oh, please, Faith. You've never been three to a bed before?"

" How you girls doing in there?" Joyce calls from the kitchen.

Both girls blush.

" FINE, MOM! " Buffy calls out.

" Ok, nearly done.""

" Don't hurry mom, we're good!"

" C'mon, fess up, Faith. You've been ménage a trios before. At least!"

" Well, yeah… but never with another girl!"

"What?"

" Always been brave, brave , squaw, " Faith points to herself on the last. " Never two squaws and a brave."

" Never?"

" Never!"

" Never thought about it?"

" No!"

" Really?"

" You deaf, Buffy? No!"

" You never, ever, ever thought about being with another woman before.?"

" No!" Faith says… then grins. "Ok, ok, maybe I fantasized about it… maybe… but never seriously."

"So, you fantasized about it huh?" Buffy grins. " Someone I know?"

Faith all of a sudden isn't looking at her, but looking anywhere but at her.

" Someone I know!" Buffy busts her. "Who?"

Faith shrugs, not looking at her.

" Who? c'mon, I won't tell. You can tell me!"

Faith shakes her head.

"Amy, right? She's cute, got that whole witchy sexy thing going."

Faith shakes her head.

" Willow? Yeah, I can see it. She's a cutie and a half. Was it Will?"

Faith doesn't answer.

" C'mon, I wont tell her."

Faith shakes her head.

" No? Not mom. Please tell me you didn't…"

Faith looks at her shocked

" Ok, ok… who… no…not .. me?"

Faith gulps.

" ME?" Buffy is definitely tingly. She narrows her eyes. " you're shitting me!"

Faith shakes her head.

" Really? Was I good?"

" I swear, Buffy, " Faith growls, " if you ever tell ANYONE, I'm going to look for an exception to the no kill humans rule in the slayer handbook!"

" Faith you can trust me, I won't tell, " Buffy says.

Faith looks at her suspiciously.

" Slayer Pledge!" Buffy raises her hand.

" There's no Slayer pledge!" Faith makes a noise.

" Well, there should be!" Buffy says, quietly.

" If you tell…"

" I won't!"

" Ok. It was while I was in prison. It'd been a looong dry spell, and I have to admit, I was really feeling horny, ok? So, anyway, there was this little blonde inmate…"

" Was she cute?"

" Heck no! She had this whiny voice and acne…"

" Oh, well, thanks, " Buffy huffs."

" Not you, dope. Anyway, she really took a shine to me. Got really aggressive, you know? Finally had to put her down in the showers. She started getting grabby. But … well, with all the sexual tension, and being horny…and it'd been a long time…" Faith trails off.

" Go on" Buffy encourages her.

" But the grabbiness? Well, it did get me a little…and then, later in my bunk, I was really itchy… so, my mind wandered, but I didn't want to think about that skag, so I got to thinking about small aggressive blondes, and damn if you didn't pop in my head. Worse, you popped in my head naked. And then I was naked. And then you were crawling between my legs…" Faith turns beet red. " … anyway, it happened, and it was just that one time, and it'd been a loooong dry spell…"

"Wow!" Buffy is flushing a little. "So, was I good?"

" BUFFEE!"

" Ok, ok."

Faith mumbles something.

"Huh?"

" I came so hard I thought I was gonna break the bunk," Faith repeats, really low. " But hey, don't get weird on me. Didn't mean jack. I don't think about you … don't like you. OK? Don't get dewey eyed and slobbery."

Faith scoots her chair away.

" Faith…" Buffy says.

" No! Don't! It was that one time, and I was over horny, and it meant squat. I don't think about you!"

" Ok, ok…" Buffy smiles wickedly."… but you know, it doesn't have to stay a fantasy…"

" BUFFEE!" Faith stands up suddenly." Ok that's it I'm outta here."

" Sit down, Faith!" Buffy waves her hand. " I was just yanking your chain."

Faith looks at her suspiciously.

"What?"

" Do you got a ' thing' for me?" She asks, brusquely

" What?" Buffy looks shocked. _Shit. Not now. Not now!_

" Well, do you?"

" Whatever gave you THAT idea?" Buffy says, " We hardly like each other."

" Well, Red said…"

"Willow said?" Buffy makes a rude noise. "Well, there you go!"

"What?"

" She's gay, Faith. She probably filters everything through that. Probably thinks every girl is in the closet, secretly."

" I dunno, B. She was makin' some pretty good sense last night…"

" You were talking about me last night?"

" Only on the side… we were talking about her problems, and you kinda came up as we were walking home."

" Oh," Buffy said, " So what did Willow say?"

" Only that… well, you got this big old crush on me…"

Buffy snorts. " Oh please, get OVER yourself!"

" Well, you gotta admit, it kinda is weird, Buff. Ever since I've been here you've like followed me around, and sought me out for advice, and you give me these looks…"

" Oh geeze, Faith. God, the last two weeks? Remember, was vampire. Trying to recover form that. I've been major weirded out. If I'm following you around, asking for advice, it's because in a way you've been where I've been, and you got the best handle on what I'm going through, except maybe Angel, but with our history, not wanting to dip in that well, so …?" Buffy shrugs. " And the staring? Maybe I'm just zoning out again. Been doing that a lot. But geeze, if being in the same room makes you wiggy, " Buffy stands up, " I promise, won't happen again. " Buffy starts to leave.

" No, wait… Buffy… stay!" Faith says, grabbing her arm. " I… ok, it was stupid, but it was late and I was confused…"

" Look Faith. I'm perfectly willing to keep my distance. Believe me. I don't want weird anymore. This is the first morning where I've felt halfway normal…" Buffy shakes her off. " Damn, it was going so good ,too. Later."

" No, B. Wait. Ok, stop… I'm sorry. I was wrong, ok?" Faith says, " It just wigged me a little, thinking you were like hero worshipping me."

" You? Hero- worship you? God, you really do have a massive ego Faith. Get over yourself!"

" Well, you don't have to get so snarky about it!" Faith bristles.

" Ok," Buffy bristles.

" Ok!" Faith says. " Sit down!"

" Ok!" Buffy sits.

" Ok!" Faith sits.

" Willow told you I was all like crushing on you? Where'd she get that idea?"

" She said she came over, and all you could talk about was me."

" Well, she came over, that's true, But we didn't talk about you. It was kind of awkward actually, but I think she's still got some issues of me …" Buffy's voice drops."… killing Xander when I was like…evil. And…it was awkward, you know?"

" Ok"

" But believe me, we didn't have the I Love Faith show. Trust me. That's just fantasy!"

" Ok, ok," Faith says. " Wonder why she told me you're crushing on me?"

" Heck if I know?" Buffy says. She thinks, " Well, you know, Faith…" Buffy trails off.

" What?"

" Will is gay. And, she's been alone a long time. Wouldn't surprise me if she was the one with a crush on you."

" What?" Faith says, but remembers Willow's parting kiss last night. " That's… silly."

" Why? I mean, since Tara got her brain…" Buffy makes a sucking noise, " … Willow's been alone. There's been nobody with her… and you have to admit, hell, even I have to admit, you're a pretty cute and sexy woman."

" Who's a cute and sexy woman?" Joyce asks, bringing plates of waffles, eggs and an assortment of goodies.

" Geeze, mom, expecting the army to drop by?" Buffy looks at all the food.

" You said you were hungry…and I know Faith is hungry, right?"

" Oh, I think she could eat something," Buffy makes sly remark. Faith turns red.

_Ok, exactly what happened in here while I was in the kitchen? When I left, Faith had the upper hand. Hmmm._

" So, who's a cute and sexy woman, Buffy?"

" Well, Faith here. Wouldn't you agree, mom?"

"Well, yes, I suppose, never really thought about it. Know I think she's sweet."

" Thanks, Mrs. Summers, " Faith says, reaching for some waffles.

"So, why are we talking about Faith's cuteness and sexiness, anyway?"

" Mom!"

" Mrs. Summers!"

" Oh, I get it. Sex talk. Can't do it in front of old mom. Got it." Joyce nods. " Well. Buffy, you have to know I had sex at least once in my long, long life" Joyce smiles.

" MOM!" Buffy covers her ears. " Don't want to hear it."

" I mean how do you think you got here? By stork!"

" Not listening.LALALALALALALA!" Buffy sings.

Faith gives Mrs. Summers the OK sign. Joyce laughs.

" I love doing that to her."

Buffy uncovers her ears.

" Buffy?"

" Yes mom?"

"SEX!"

" MOM!"

"SEX, SEX, SEX!" Joyce crows.

Faith is busting a gut.

" Ok I'm leaving now so you two can go back to your sex talk without dear old mom grossing you out, " Joyce picks up her plate and leaves. " By the way, Buffy?"

" Yes, mom? " Buffy says impatiently.

" There's bigger than Hearst shifter!"

" MOM! GO!" Buffy turns red.

Faith is rolling in her chair, laughing.

" Bye now… SEX!"

She leaves, laughing.

" I swear, I'm gonna have her committed." Buffy growls, eating some eggs.

" Now, don't. You're moms the coolest!"

" Yeah, so I hear. Wish she'd try it around me!" Buffy grouses. " So, anyway, back to what we were discussing…"

" Buffy, that's just mad. Willow isn't crushing on me…" Faith pauses. "… I don't think."

" You don't think?"

" Well…."

" What?"

Faith briefly describes the walk home last night, leaving out the Buffy parts.'

"She kissed you?" Buffy's eyes go wide.

" Not a kiss, kiss. Just a peck really. A kind of " Thank you" for listening to her problems, you know?"

" Oh?" Buffy looks at her , " Why didn't she come to me with them?"

" Buffy? You've been major weirdness lately."

" True," Buffy sighs, " Too true."

" She just needed to talk, and she got I guess feeling all grateful, and gave me a peck."

" On the cheek?"

" On the lips."

" On the lips?" Buffy says," hmmm" She pretends to think about that.

" What?"

" Well, did you like it?"

" Huh? Hell no…" Faith shrugs. "Well, it was ok, I guess. Didn't think about it, really."

" Really?"

" Ok, it was nice , sort of. OK? Happy?"

" I don't care, " Buffy shrugs. " You could do a lot worse."

" What're you talking about?"

" Willow, what're you talking about?"

" You're nuts. Were you listening earlier? I don't drive automatic, honey. Strictly stick."

" How do you know if you haven't tried it?"

" BUFFEE!" Faith growls. " Have YOU tried it?"

Buffy nods.

" You have? When?"

" Back in college. Riley… that was my boyfriend after Angel, had just dumped me, and Willow was all into Tara. And I met this girl at the bar, and she got dumped. And we commiserate, and got drunk, and we wound up at her place….and it happened." She sees Faith's expression. "Geeze, no looks, IT was just that once, and I was drunk!"

" OK, " Faith says. " So , how was it?"

" Aw, geeze, Faith I was drunk. It's all hazy…" Buffy blushes.

" C'mon, I told you."

" It was kinda cool," Buffy admits, " I mean, different. All soft, and no forgot to shave…and she had really soft lips…and knew just what buttons to push. Yeah, it was cool."

" Really?" Faith says." Hmmm"

" You could do worse."

"Worse than what?"

" Willow."

" Oh, were not back to that again, are we?"

" Well gee, don't be so dismissive. I mean, Willow's been alone for a long time."

" She's got Tara."

" Tara… yes, I know she loves Tara… but, c'mon. Willow's young and healthy, she has needs… and Tara can't help her…"

" She loves Tara!"

" I know that, dope." Buffy shakes her head, " I'm not talking love affair here. Just comfort sex."

" Comfort sex?" Faith looks at her. " Like pity sex?"

" Heck no. I mean, you have sex to give support and comfort. Help her feel better about herself. Cure the terminal hornies, you know?"

Faith shrugs.

" And it's not like she's a virgin with girls, like you. She could like… teach you."

" Buffy, god. I told you … that's not me."

" How do you know? I told you I tried it, and it's pretty sweet. With the right girl. And I'm pretty sure Will could be the right girl…"

" I don't know, " Faith says, " it's just weird."

" Weirder than having a wet dream with me as your fantasy?"

" Buffy…" Faith growls.

" Not telling anyone… just…look, if it weirds you….we could… I mean, I've done it. And you've already kind of been with me, sorta… and once you try it, you might find you like it…"

" Uhhh… thanks, Buff. That's real…nice of you, but…" Faith shrugs, " Just not me, you know?"

" Ok, like no big to me. Just, I know Willow could use some comfort, and you must be … like needing some…I don't see why you guys don't … at least try it."

" Ok … well, will you look at the time. Gotta run. Literally. Thanks, Buff. Been a blast… sorta." Faith gets up.

" Faith don't get wiggy. I'm not like trying to force you. Just…think about it."

" Ok, I'll think about it…" Faith says. _NOT!_

' Ok, well, have a good run. See you at Giles later?"

" Oh right, the meeting. Sure, later at Giles."

" Ok, Bye!"

" Bye"

Faith exits.

Buffy looks at her plate, and suddenly she's not hungry. Frowning, she pushes back her chair and leaves the dining room.

Going upstairs, she slips up through the trap door and into the attic. She makes her way to her secret place, and opens the door.

Walking over, she turns on the lamp, and looks at the pictures. The anger that started at the table swells. She growls, and starts ripping them down.

" Damn you, damn you, damn you!" She yells at the wall. " Why don't you want me?"

She starts pounding on the wall until the anger fades, and only the hurt is left. She leans against the wall and cries.

Recovering herself, she sees the pictures on the floor and panics. She kneels down, picking them up.

" I know, it wasn't you… I know that." She says softly, kissing the pictures.

" She can't have you, you know? You're mine, baby." She hugs the close to her.

She starts putting them back up, smoothing them when needed. She stops and stares at the wall. Her face softens.

Almost as if in a dream, Buffy moves backward until she falls on the bed. Her robe, uncinched, falls open. She is nude beneath it.

Her eyes are glued on the wall. Her lips part, and she whispers " I love you!"

Her hand trails down her body, touching her nipples, which are already erect, and over her tummy, and down lower.

A soft smile comes to her lips, She looks adoringly at the pictures on the wall.

" Aren't I pretty?" She asks. " Don't you want me?"

" I know you do, you dreamed about me!"

Her hand moves in slow lazy circles. A sigh escapes her lips.

" I'll show you, baby, how good a woman can make you feel. I'll make you feel so good… so good."

She starts to rub herself harder.

" So good…"

She starts to pant.

" So fucking good…"

Her breathing grows harder…

" You belong to me, not her. Me!"

Harder. Moans

" You're mine!"

More moans.

" MINE!"

To be continued


	7. Chapter 7

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 7

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox own the BtVS characters in this story. Original characters and the story itself are mine.

WARNING: Some BD/SM , mostly suggested, is in the final three scenes of this story( 7, 8 and 9). IF THIS WILL UPSET YOU OR DISTURB YOU, DON"T READ BEYOND SCENE 6. You don't need to read past that to keep up with the story. Read beyond that at your own volition. I've warned you.

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad."  
Salvador Dali.

1

Buffy's eyes open. She shivers, because she's cold. She looks around.

" What?" She says softly. She sits up, holding her head. " Oh god, what time is it?"

She suddenly remembers she's supposed to be at Giles. For a meeting.

She pulls the robe around her, and hurries out of her cubbyhole. Kicking the door behind her, she runs across the attic floor, nearly tripping on a beam.

She notices her groin feels very sore. _God how many times did I…?_

She hurries down the chain ladder, arriving in her room. Grabbing some clothes, she heads for the shower, to wash off her rather pungent odor.

Hurrying downstairs, trying to pull on her boots while on the fly, she sees her mom in the kitchen.

" Mom! What time is it?"

" Quarter of four honey."

" Damn, I was supposed to be at Giles at 3 . Damn!"

She hops around on one foot, trying to get on her boot.

" Why didn't anyone get me?"

" Faith wanted to, but I told her to let you sleep."

" WHY? I have a meeting , mom. You know that!"

" Honey, you were out all night," Joyce says, " Maybe next time you'll remember your responsibilities before staying out til all hours."

" Mom, really not a good time for a lecture, ok? Can you give me a ride?"

" Sorry honey, I'm on my way back to the Gallery. Don't have time to drop you."

" Mom, please!"

" I'm sorry dear, but I'm meeting with an important buyer in…" She looks at her watch, " … 15 minutes. I better be going."

" Mom, please, it's important!"

" So is this, dear. Sorry, but you've got to learn your actions have consequences. You'll just have to walk." Joyce heads for the door, " See you later honey." She exits.

" Damn, " Buffy grumbles as she heads for the front door, " Now she has to do the ' Mom knows best ' routine!". Cursing up a storm, Buffy disappears through the front door.

2

" Well, isn't this just sucky?" Faith grumbles.

She's leaning against a small bookcase by the window in Giles' apartment. Her hands are gripping the edge tightly. The others are scattered about the room. Closest to her is Angel.

" Faith, don't take it that way," Angel says, moving towards her.

" How'm I supposed to take it, Angel? Tap dance across the floor and blow kisses? What's the sudden rush to leave?"

" It's not sudden, Faith. I've been here nearly a year now. It's time to go."

" What? How'd you figure that? Someone timing you? Someone checked a clock and said, " Hey, big fella, times up. Move on"?"

" There's nothing more for me to do here, Faith," Angel says, a little exasperated.

" Nothing more to do? What about your girlfriend? You know, the one who went undead and then back alive? She doesn't need you anymore? How'd you work that one out? Oh, she's been back two whole weeks, so of course she's ' over it' now, right? No issues there, nuh-uh. Never mind she spends all day sitting at home, staring at the plants, and talking to walls. Nope, she's back and hey, Angel's out of here."

" Faith, don't you think you're exaggerating a little…" Giles says.

" No, I'm exaggerating a whole lot. But that's not the point, is it?" She walks over to Angel. " What are you thinking? Wasn't it less than 3 weeks ago you were all boo-hooing to me on Willow's porch that you felt all guilty, and how you failed Buffy, and how you should've protected her better? Now it seems you can't wait to get your ass outta town. So what changed, Angel? Did your little squeeze in L.A. call up and threaten to leave you if you don't come home?"

SLAP!

" There's my boy!" Faith smirks, rubbing her cheek." Did I hit a nerve, Fang?"

"Alright, you two, I think that is quite enough, " Giles says, walking over between them. " I don' think this is helping anything!"

" Oh I think it's helping bunches," Faith says," At least I know there's something in there, " Faith pokes Angel's chest, " not just a big block of ice."

"Faith, that's quite enough. I told Angel it was time to leave, " Wes says, arms folded across his chest.

" Oh, you did?" Faith comes over to him. " When did you become the expert, Wes old boy?" She reaches out, touching his cheek, " Maybe we should go in the next room and have a chat about this. Like the old days. You tied up in a chair, me with an aerosol spray can and a bic? What do you think?"

" Threatening me won't do a thing, Faith. Angel's done all he can here. There's nothing more for him to do. It's time he left."

" All he can do? What was that exactly?" Faith turns to the others, " Stand around all broody? Lurk in the shadows. As I recall, I'm the one with the sore ribs from fighting psycho girl. And now, when she needs him the most, he's bailing. So I'm wondering, exactly why'd you even bother to come in the first place."

" Exactly what can I do, Faith?" Angel says, " You're right. I'm lurking in the shadows, following her around, for what purpose? I can't protect her all the time. No one can. She has to learn to do that herself. All I'm doing here is smothering her."

" Where'd you get that from. Oh wait, let me guess, " Faith points at Wes, " Mr. Expert over there."

" It's true, Faith, " Giles intercedes. " Buffy's at a crossroads now. Angel being here only complicates matters. She has to start living her life as normally as she can. She can't really do that while Angel's in town. Him being here only brings up the past for her, what she was. To compare to what she became. That won't help her."

"What if she needs to talk about it?" She turns on Giles, " What then? She going to come to you? She needs someone who's been there, knowing what she's going through. Can you do that?"

" No, " Angel says," he can't. But you can."

" What?"

" You've been there, Faith. You know what it's like. She can talk to you."

" Oh, that's great! Why didn't I think of that?" Faith says acidly, " not only do I get to be the slayer, I get to be her Dr. Laura, too." She shakes her head, walking back to the window. " I've been talking with Angel for nearly 5 years what happened to me, and I'm still dealing with it." She turns back to them, " how'm I supposed to be able to help her?"

" By listening. That's what she needs most, like you," Angel says, " listening, and encouragement. That's all I've done for you."

" Well, what if I need someone to listen then? Who do I talk to, huh? Who's going to listen to me?"

" I thought maybe I could do that, " Willow says softly. She gets up from the couch, and goes to Faith. " I thought we were friends? Maybe I could listen…"

" Thanks, Red, Appreciate it. But you're not part of the Murder Club. How could you understand?"

" No, I haven't murdered anyone, you're right, " Willow says, " but I've touched power, Faith. Dark power. Power you can't imagine. I know how it feels to have that power, to want to use it. To want to …" She trails off. She looks at Faith with hardened eyes. " I know how addicting it is, how hard it is to come back. " she touches Faith's arm. " It hurts, and you know you've hurt others. You wonder if you can ever make up for that."

The two stand there, silently looking at each other, sharing a brief moment.

" There is something else we have to discuss, Faith, " Giles says, " could you please sit down?" He waves at the sofa.

" Oh swell, more good news, " Faith makes a face, but sits. Giles sits next to her.

" So?" Faith says, as the pause lengthens.

" There's something I should've said since your return, and haven't Faith." Giles begins. " I'm glad you came back."

"Well, so far, that makes one of us."

" Please Faith, I'm trying to be serious, " Giles says.

" Well, there's a switch," Faith mocks. She sees Giles' expression, "ok, ok, don't have a Angus. Go on."

" When you came here 5 years ago, it was a difficult time for all of us. You'd lost your watcher, the Mayor was working on Ascending, and everything was at sixes and sevens." He pauses for a moment, collecting his thoughts, " I didn't realize then you were as … troubled as you were. Looking back on it, I should've done more to make you feel a part of this. But I was distracted, and I didn't see you needed more than I gave you. And then there was the trouble…"

" Giles, don't pussyfoot around. I killed Alan Finch, ok? I know that."

" Yes, I know, and I also know I didn't handle the aftermath very well. I didn't get much help from a certain Ex-Watcher who took matters into his own hands and will remain nameless…"

" I was carrying out the accepted Council protocol Giles, for that situation. Maybe if you'd taken me into your confidence, rather than sneak around behind my back… I was Faith's Watcher, after all…"

" Yes, and we know how that turned out, don't we Wes?" Faith says dryly.

" Yes, " Wesley replies, equally aridly.

" Perhaps I should've, Wes. Except if you recall, you were rather a full of yourself Prig in those days. And that's beside the point. The point is, I handled it badly, and I wish to apologize to you."

" Well, I didn't make it exactly easy for you, Giles. I mean, going evil and killing a bunch of people." She sighs. " But it would've been nice to know I could've trusted you and turned to you when it went down, won't deny that."

" Exactly so, and I wish you'd felt that way too, but that wasn't the case, and I'm sorry."

" That's ancient news, Giles. Maybe this time we can handle it differently." Faith pats his shoulder.

" I'd really like that," Giles smiles briefly. " Now, Buffy's in the same position you were in…"

" I knew there had to be a catch, " Faith frowns.

" Faith, she needs someone to be there for her, that understands what she's going through to help her…"

" Gee, wasn't that what I was saying oh…. Five minutes ago?"

" Someone who is _not_ Angel, who can help her over this time. Part of her problem is she did all these terrible things, but she has no way to … atone for them. She's not the slayer anymore; we took that when we took the vampire out of her. Still, she needs something she can fight, something she … how did she put it once?… oh yes, … beat up … so she can feel better about herself. Do you understand?"

" What? Do you want me to let her beat me up once a week or something? Just for old times' sake?"

"Of course not. That's… a joke, yes, very funny," Giles coughs, " No, Faith, what we think, and Angel, Wes and I talked about this, is that Buffy needs to go on patrols with you."

Faith sits there momentarily, as if she can't believe her ears. Then she smiles. " Oh, _you_ made a joke. Ummm… not really funny, but Yuk, Yuk." She stands up, walks a few feet, then turns. " ARE YOU PEOPLE NUTS? Take Blondie out on patrol with me? Nutso girl? Isn't my life crappy enough? You just said it, Giles. She's not a slayer. How's she supposed to cope out there without the powers. Beg the vampires to hold still for a minute while she drives a stake in them? She'd get herself killed. Worse, she'd get BOTH of us killed. This has got to be the … dumbest idea I've ever heard of."

" I'd agree, Faith," Angel puts in, " if Buffy had never done this before. But she was a slayer a long time. She's not going out green. She knows the ropes."

" Right. But what happens the first time a vampire hits her and she crashes into a wall? Lights out for Buffy!"

" Faith, its not like civilians haven't gone out before. Willow here often accompanied Buffy patrolling."

"Yeah, and I'm still here!" Willow pipes up.

" Right. But you were playing with a full deck, Red. Buffy's not. You knew to be careful. She won't. No, this is a stupid idea. I don't need an Insane-o ex-slayer to babysit…"

There's a crash by the front door. Everyone turns. Buffy is standing there, standing in a pile of vase shards. She looks up at them, her eyes dead.

"Sorry, " She said softly, " sorry."

Without another word, she turns and walks out the door, slamming it behind her.

"Aw crap, great, really great, " Faith sighs." I better go after her…"

" No, stay. I'll go, " Willow says, coming to the front." I think you've done enough, Faith."

She follows Buffy out.

3

Willow finds Buffy sitting at one of the tables in the courtyard, staring straight ahead. She walks over, and sits down next to her. Buffy looks at her, then goes back to staring.

" What do you want?" Buffy says in flat tone. She doesn't look over at Willow.'

Willow reaches out to take Buffy's hand, but Buffy pulls it away.

" I just came to see if you were ok?"

" Know what? I wish you and everyone else would quit asking me that. It doesn't matter what I answer, you'll think I'm not ok, anyway, so why bother?" Buffy starts drumming her fingers on the table.

" Buffy, I really want to know. Are you ok?"

" You're still here? Why don't you go, please?"

" Is that what you want?" Willow asks.

" Yes, " Buffy almost seems to sigh it. " Please, just go away."

Willow starts to stand up. Then she sits back down.

" No."

" What?"

" No, I'm not going until you talk to me. We've been running away from each other, and I'm tired of it. I want to know, so I'm not leaving til I do."

" Running away? I haven't been doing the running. You're the one who's always leaving when I show up."

" Ok. I admit, it's been hard to be around you, Buffy. I got the feeling that you didn't want me around. That you were all about Faith."

" Is that why you told her what you did? God, I wish…"

" What?"

" It's hard enough living around her without her thinking I'm a nutcase, Will. Why'd you tell her that?"

" Because when I came to see you, all you could do was talk about her. What did you expect me to think? I thought you… had a crush on her. I was…ok, I was jealous, ok? I was your best friend, but all that seemed to come out of your mouth was Faith. It hurt. Why do you think I didn't come back? Or want to be around you?"

" You came to see me what? Third day I was 'back'? I was really out of it then, Will. Did that occur to you? Although, listening to you I wonder who was really out of it."

" What's that supposed to mean?"

" God, don't you remember how awkward it was? I sure do. You sat there, staring at me, not saying a word. I felt like I was on display or something, the freak to come look at. Every time I'd bring something up that wasn't Faith, you were skittish and nervous and looking to bolt. I finally figured that Faith was a safe thing to talk about. So I did. A lot, because YOU sure weren't helping things along much."

" What was I gonna say, Buffy? You looked so… and you'd just been a … and I didn't know what to say. I was afraid I'd make things worse. And when I got there, you didn't look all that happy to see me. Maybe it was the fact you were 'out of it' like you said, but that sure didn't make it easier. And you seemed … I don't know, calm about talking about Faith, and it seemed like something you wanted to do, so I let you. "

" All you had to say was " How are you" and mean it. I wanted so much for someone to listen to me. But no one did. Not even you, my best friend for… god, forever it seems, Will. No one wanted to know how I really was. Everyone wanted me to just ' get over it' and move on. But that's not gonna happen, Will. Don't you see that?"

" No, I really don't see that, Buffy. Everyone has something that really shakes them up, Buffy. Sure, for awhile, they're out of it, trying to find their feet again. But eventually they start to adapt, to make adjustments, and move on. Eventually they come back to who they are. You say it's not going to happen. I don't get that."

" You guys want me to be Buffy again. The Buffy you knew. Funny, sorta clever, some would even say sweet. Totally self involved, but big hearted, loves her friends, would do anything for them, right? And terribly innocent. Oh god was she innocent."

" Ok Buffy, why're you talking about yourself like it's a totally different person? That's creepy!"

" It _is_ a totally different person. What I went through, what happened to me? Changed me Will. Changed me in ways I can't just ' change back.' The Buffy you knew… she's gone, Will. Spike killed her. She's not coming back. Not completely, not ever."

" Buffy!"

" No, will, it's true." Buffy sighs heavily. " She's gone. I … what I did… is all coming back to me, Will. I had dreams all along, dreams of killing and feeding, blood and … and I couldn't sleep it was so scary. I wrote the stuff down, in a journal, trying to make sense of it. Then they started leaking into my consciousness, and I knew it wasn't just dreams. They were memories. Memories of what I'd done. God it made me sick, Will. I wanted to hide, to hit my head against a wall until I couldn't think anymore, they're so horrible. I withdrew because I knew, I just knew you'd all see what a monster I'd become!"

" Oh, Buffy! We know that wasn't you. That was the thing that lived in you. You're not that way…"

" Aren't you listening to me, Will? I just told you, I've changed. The Buffy you knew, the Buffy you want? She's not that way. But I am. God, it's so bad that when I look in the mirror, I don't know that person. Who is she? She's not me, not the monster. She doesn't look like the monster, Will. Maybe she is… maybe that's what the monster is. Putting on an innocent face to hide the ugliness."

" Buffy, honey, " Will gets up, going to her and putting her arms around her, "don't, please! Don't do this to yourself."

" Do this to myself? Think I like this? Feeling this way? God…" Buffy lays her head on the table." I hate this, hate knowing all this. Hate what it's done to me, how it's changed me. But the worst part? No, I can't tell you… "

" Buffy, you can tell me anything… anything," Willow hugs her. " You're not alone, honey. I'm your best friend. Don't be afraid. I'm here… I'll do whatever I can to help you. Just talk to me. "

Buffy looks up, her eyes are wet. " No, you won't understand. You'll hate me, you'll know I'm a monster. I can't take that, not from you too. Everyone looks at me like… and I just couldn't take it from you…"

" Buffy, I love you. You're my best friend. You're like my sister. Nothing you can tell me will change that," Willow pulls her closer, looking in her face. " Trust me, Buffy, please. Please don't shut me out, not now."

" Stop it. Stop touching me. It just makes it harder, so much worse. Don't forgive me, I don't deserve it. Run, Will, Far away, get as far from me as you can. Please, for your own sake, just go."

" No, I won't go, Buffy. You're hurting, and I cant' stand seeing you this way. I won't run away just because things are rough. "

" Rough? Things are rough?" Buffy laughs, " You have no idea…" She shakes Willow off, and moves away from her. " Rough isn't even scratching the surface, Will. You have no idea what I'm feeling, what's happening to me. Not a clue."

" Then make me know! I'm not going, Buffy Summers, and you can't make me go. Make me understand what you're going through, because otherwise I'm just going to be after you until you do."

" I can't, don't you see?" She looks at Will, and seems to lose her energy. She sits down heavily." Alright, you really want to know? God, I should just shut up, because when I tell you, you'll hate me. Hate me more than anything. But I need… you're sure you want this?" She puts her head down on the table.

" Yes, yes, I'm sure. I want you to tell me!" Willow exclaims," please, I need to know."

" Fine," Buffy says, raising up.

Willow is almost shocked by the look on her face. Her eyes look dead, her whole face seems to belong to someone else. She's never seen Buffy like this before, and it scares her.

" Buffy," She whispers.

" You want to know what's in me. Fine. I'll tell you, " Buffy says, looking at her with dead eyes, " As much as all of this makes me sick, so sick I want to puke my guts out, as much as I wish so much that I couldn't remember this, how I want to drive nails in my head to forget, with all that, I want it. I want it bad."

" Want what, Buffy?"

" All of it, Will. The feelings, the cravings, the power. The emotions, oh god, how they tasted, the blood, .. I want it all back. I crave it like a drug. I need it Will. I only feel half alive without it. I want it back!

" Buffy… I don't understand…"

" I WANT TO BE A FUCKING VAMPIRE AGAIN!"

4

Willow feels like someone just reached inside her and twisted her guts. She feels like she wants to throw up. Her heart feels like ice, and she can't seem to breath. She gets up, overturning her chair.

" Buffy…" the name seems to hiss out of her lips.

" I warned you, didn't I? I told you. You hate me, and I can't blame you. I hate me, for wanting this. But God, Will, I can't help it. I can't help it." Buffy starts to cry.

" Buffy…" Willow approaches her, but Buffy waves her off.

" No, don't. DON'T! I'm evil Will, I'm weak and evil. God, the craving burns in me. It's like crack. Like heroin. I crave it so badly it makes me shake. And I hate that I feel like this, I hate it!"

" Buffy don't, please, " Willow comes to her. She finds she's afraid to touch her. " I told you, you can tell me anything, and I meant it. I'll help you, I promise."

"How, how can you help, Will? How can you know what I feel? How much I need it. How awful I feel wanting it so bad, and how awful it feels not having it?"

" Don't you remember, Buffy, how badly I was addicted to the magic? How much I craved it? I remember you staying with me, holding me when I was so shaky I thought I would die. I wouldn't have made it without you and the others. Now, let me help you."

" You can't… you went through that, and came out you again. It didn't change you, it didn't make you into a monster. You didn't… "

" No, I didn't kill anyone. But I came close Buffy, so close. When Glory did what she did to Tara, I was furious. Not just furious… I was beyond that. I was full of hate. Hate and guilt. I wanted to just give in, let the magic take me. I wanted to destroy the whole town, the whole World if I had to, if that's what it took to destroy that…thing."

" But you didn't, Will, you didn't . You weren't so weak that you gave in. You stopped yourself."

" Only because you killed Glory. If you hadn't…." Willows eyes are hard as gems, remembering what she'd planned.

" I never knew, Will."

" It was after that, coming so close, and watching Dawn die… that I stopped. I had to. I was way out of control. I know I would've done it … I know it."

" I'm so sorry, Will."

" This isn't about me," Willow says, shaking it off, " It's about you. If I can do it, you can too. You can come back, Buffy. I know it."

" I can't, I just can't. I've tried so hard to drown it , to bury it, but it just comes roaring back stronger. When I'm not torturing myself over what I've done, the need comes back, wanting me. And I want it. Every day, it's stronger, and I'm weaker."

" Tell me, Buffy, tell me about it, " Willow gets over her fear, and leans over, hugging her, " It'll be easier if you tell me about it."

" How can I tell you so you understand? " Buffy's voice and face seem to change, become dreamy. " It's like the ultimate thrill. To hunt. To go hunting. To feel that need in you, like a burning fire. You go out, and look. Some do it in alleys, but I liked clubs. I liked the noise, the heat, and the sweat. But more, I liked the raw emotions. Need, lust, desire, the sexual tension so thick you could cut it. All of them hunting, hunting for someone to hold them, need them, love them. Desperately posing to attract someone. It was delicious, just standing on the catwalks, just looking down, feeling it wash over me like waves." Buffy shudders.

Willow hugs her, misunderstanding. " It's ok, baby, I'm here."

" I'd scan the crowd, looking, searching for the perfect one. The one with the most need. The one that didn't seem to quite fit, didn't quite belong. Wasn't sure what he or she was doing there…"

" He or she? You went after girls, too…?" Willow looks confused.

" Oh god, yes. Women were the best. I swear, there's a difference in taste between the two of them. And I liked how women tasted more than men."

Willow is silent. And a little shocked.

" I'd find her. I knew her as soon as I saw her. I had a feeling in my gut that she was the one, the one with the most need. It almost seemed to roll off her in waves." Buffy stops and turns her head to look at Willow. " Please, Will. It's not helping you hugging me. Go sit down." Her voice is flat.

" Ok, Buffy, " Willow again misunderstanding, feels hurt. She lets go, and sits across from Buffy. " Go on," She says quietly.

" I felt this incredible charge through my body, because I knew I was close. That I was close to getting what I needed. I would slip down, but not go immediately to her. I'd move around, working to get her to notice me, see me. It was important. I needed her to notice me. Maybe not realize she was, but she was. And then I'd move in. It was like …I can't describe it. But I'd be here, then I'd be there, next to her. " Buffy uses her hand to show this, " and it was like I was weaving her in my net, pulling her in. But I had to be careful. I had to read her, figure out what she was looking for, and be that for her. Sometimes they just wanted someone to talk to. Sometimes they just were lonely, and needed someone with them. Mostly, they wanted more. They wanted to be touched, to touch, to feel needed. And I was good at making them feel needed."

Willow watches Buffy's face, and sees it seem to change. She can see the lust, the desire in it. She can feel the need roll off her in waves. It scares her, and fascinates her.

" I had to get them to trust me. I'd work them, bringing them out. I watch for the cues. The little touches, the smiles, how they'd get the little flush …" Buffy reaches out, touching Willow's neck. Willow shudders. "… here… or…" She touches Willow's cheek."… here. I'd laugh at their stupid jokes, smile at the right times, and commiserate with their problems. Soon they felt I was their long lost best friend." Buffy looks at Willow, and Willow feels a strangeness course through her.

" Then I'd manage to get them to dance with me. Think of it like a mating ritual. I'd dance with them, at first ' accidentally' touching them, or bumping into them. But as I sensed and smelled their increasing desire, I'd get more aggressive, touching them, rubbing against them, getting my lips so close to theirs I could taste their ache. I loved that ache, that need. I ate it like candy, and it got me hot. Real hot. I kept feeding it so I could feed on it."

Willow finds herself spellbound. She doesn't even realize she's leaning in towards Buffy. She suddenly finds her hand in Buffy's, Buffy's thumb caressing her palm. She feels a warmth go through her, and her tummy feels all tingly.

" Everybody needs something, Will. They need to feel wanted, needed. To be seen, to have someone really see them, and want what they are." Buffy's voice is hushed, almost a whisper." That's what I'd give them. That feeling of being seen and wanted."

"Sometimes we'd dance one dance, sometimes a lot of dances. But by the time we were done, they were ready. I could sense, I could feel, I could smell how ready they were." Buffy is staring straight into Willow's eyes.

Willow feels a shiver go down her spine, but is it fear or excitement? She sees Buffy's eyes, and they seem to have grown larger. She feels she could get lost in her eyes. Without realizing it, she's leaned in closer, and so has Buffy. She no longer is holding Buffy's hand; Buffy's hands are on her arms. She hears Buffy's words, but they seem far away.

" I'd take their hand, or put my arm around them, or do whatever they wanted me to do, and lead them out of the club. I'd pretend I needed air, but it wasn't air I was after. Once out the door, I'd draw them in, and start kissing them. Hot, wet kisses, Will, kisses that make your hair curl and your toes tingle. Kisses that seemed to go on forever. I'd taste their sweetness, and they'd taste my fire."

Willow feels a warmth in her groin, and a dampness between her thighs. And she doesn't care.

" If they were bold, I would take them there. Make love to them, open their clothes and caress them with my tongue, my fingers, and my lips. See their hard nipples aching for my kisses. Smell their wanton desire leaking out of them. If they were shy, I'd hold them, and touch them, and light their fire. But I'd take them to my nest, my special nest I had for just taking them. Either way, I'd make them feel me, want me, need me. "

Willow feels herself quivering in need. Buffy's hands are on her shoulders, her face, her lips scant inches from her own. Her eyes seem to have swallowed Willow up, caressing her, undressing her, touching her.

" I made love to them, Willow. I touched them with a softness, a sweetness if that's what I felt they wanted, or with a wildness, an abandon if that was their need. I'd taste their honey, and I'd let them taste mine. And I'd bite them, Willow. Just little bites, so they'd get used to the idea of being bitten. Sometimes I'd draw just a little blood. Just enough to taste. Oh, god, Willow, there is nothing sweeter than the taste of a woman's blood as it leaks from her breast."

Willow feels her nipples aching painfully, and her dampness has increased. Her breathing has become more difficult.

" When I had satisfied them, when I'd made them feel loved and special, that's when I took them. I'd watch the afterglow in their eyes turn to fear, pain and ecstasy as my fangs sunk into their neck. The blood, god, it was sweet, it tasted like heated wine as it ran down my throat. I could taste their fear, their pain, and their ecstasy as I drained them. As it happened, as they let go of life, I'd give them a kiss… a soft kiss… a loving kiss goodbye."

Willow feels Buffy's soft lips on her, and her own seem to be on fire. She kisses her hungrily, mewling her need. Buffy gently pushes her away, looking in her eyes.

" That's what I had, Will. That's what I crave again. That power, that feeling. To take what I need, and give what they needed. I … " She blinks, and breaks the spell.

Willow sits back hard in her chair. Her body shakes with lust and fear. She looks at Buffy with wide, frightened eyes.

Buffy comes over to her, kneeling beside her chair. Her face is a mask of sorrow and contrition.

" Oh, God, Willow. I'm so sorry. I got lost in my story, and I didn't realize… oh god, I didn't mean to scare you!"

Willow shivers again, all her body telling her to run, run, and run now. But she grasps the arms of her chair, and holds tight.

" No, no, it's good Buffy. It's good you told me. To get it out and face it…" Her voice is quavering, fear competing with lust.

" I'm so evil," Buffy cries, moving away. " you're my best friend. God, how could I do that to you?"

" No, Buffy, shhh, " Willow says, coming behind her and circling Buffy with her arms. " It's a good thing, really, Buffy. To get it out, we can understand it, and help you cope." She feels Buffy shaking in her arms." No baby, don't cry. Don't"

"I've missed you so much, Will, "Buffy sobs. " I thought you hated me. It was like a knife in my heart."

" I couldn't hate you, Buffy, " Willow says softly, squeezing her. " You're special to me. I love you, Buffy."

Buffy leans heavily into her. " All I want to do is help. Why can't they understand that? Why can't she understand that? I just want to make up for the evil things I did. I just want to help!" Her breathing hitches. " Help me?"

" Shhh… don't worry. I'll talk to her, convince her. We all will, Buffy. " Willow puts her head on Buffy's shoulder." I'll help you. We all will."

" I love you so much, Will, " Buffy turns in her arms, facing her. " I…" She slips her arms around Willow's neck." … I love you, you know that, don't you?"

Willow nods. " Yes, I know that."

" I can feel it, Willow. Your need. I guess that's a leftover from…" She trails off.

" Need? I don't…."

" Oh, Will. It's been so long since someone held you, isn't it? " She moves her face closer." Since someone looked at you, wanting you. I can tell, honey."

" Buffy, " Willow feels suddenly uncomfortable. " Don't. I love Tara."

" I know, honey, I know, " Buffy says, quietly, " I'm not … oh god, I wouldn't Willow. I just…telling you I feel … and I know how much you hurt, you ache. I wouldn't… I mean, god, that'd be wrong!"

" Buffy.. I didn't mean…I just… oh god, " Willow lowers her head onto Buffy's shoulder. Buffy hugs her tightly. "It's just been so long ,Buffy. I love Tara, I do. But I never see it back in her eyes. She doesn't see me. I need someone to see me, want me again. I …" She sniffles, raising her head. " God, I'm sorry. This is about you, and here I am getting all weepy about myself."

" Shhh, don't, Will. I understand, I really do, " Buffy says. She looks directly into Willow's eyes. " It wouldn't mean your cheating on her, honey. You're just… needing to be loved a little. What's so bad about that?" She leans in, and kisses Willow's throat.

Willow sighs audibly. The feeling is incredible. But she pushes Buffy away, gently.

" No, please, Buffy. Don't. It's not right."

Buffy looks hurt. Then she sighs, and pulls away. " I know. I'm bad. God, I'm so sorry." She turns away.

" No, Buffy…no…" Willow catches her shoulder, turning her around. She feels awful when she sees the tears in Buffy's eyes. "God , you… I haven't felt anything like that… but, I can't. Not with you. I might fall in love with you, Buffy, and I couldn't do that to Tara. I just couldn't. It'd break my heart if I had to hurt you."

Buffy nods, " I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. But I just felt your need, and wanted to make it better."

" I know, Buffy. You're so sweet. You think you're this evil thing, but I can so see the sweetness in you. You're just lost, you're not gone."

" You really think so?" Buffy says, looking hopeful.

" Of course."

" I just wish I could help you, Will. I hate to see you , feel you hurting like this." Then she smiles knowingly.

" What?"

" It's…her, isn't it?"

"What? Who?"

" Faith? You want her don't you? You want her to fill the need, don't you?" Buffy chuckles knowingly. " It's not me with the crush, not really, is it?"

Willow starts to protest, then blushes and lowers her head.

" I knew it!" Buffy almost crows. " I knew I saw what I saw."

She lifts Willow's chin, smiling." C'mon, it's ok. I'm not hurt. Heck, she's gorgeous, we can agree on that? Right?"

Willow nods, shyly.

" And she's funny, and smart, and so alive. God, I'd pick her over me any day!"

" Buffy!" Willow looks pained, " it's not like that at all!"

" Hey, it's ok, you know? Anyway, it's best we stay just friends, don't you think? It could get all weepy and complicated with us. But with her…" She nods. " I think you could get what you need, and not get burned."

" I dunno, Buff, " Willow says.

" Look, it's just to take care of that…" Buffy makes a grunting sound." It doesn't have to be more. And if it is, would that be the end of the world?"

" Buffy, I love Tara!"

" Will, I'm your best friend. And I hope you won't get angry with me. But she's gone, baby. She's been gone for three years. I know you love what she was, but she's not that anymore. She's just the body. The spirit, what she was, has moved on. And so should you."

" But, Buffy, I… I just…"

"Will, you can't wear black forever. You can't mourn her forever. It's not healthy, and it's not right, " Buffy takes Willow's face in her hands. " And she wouldn't want this, either. Do you think she'd want you to hurt like this forever? Be honest."

" N-No, I guess not," Willow looks intensely sad.

" Of course she wouldn't. She'd want you happy. Like I do. And anyway? Who knows if this would turn into anything but simple comfort? I don't, you don't. So don't get all fired up before something does happen, ok?"

Willow nods.

Buffy drops her arms to Willow's shoulders. " Look, it's not going to be easy. I kinda sounded Faith out on the subject, and she's kind of … well…hesitant."

" You what?" Willow's head snaps up. " You talked about this with Faith? When?"

" This morning, at breakfast. After she confronted me wanting to know if I have a ' thing' for her."

" Oh."

" That's how I found out how you told her. And I also suggested to her that maybe you were crushing on her."

" YOU DIDN'T!" Willow looks panicked. " Did you?"

Buffy nods.

" And I don't think she's exactly hating the idea. To quote, when I asked how the kiss was…"

" She told you about that?" Willow asks.

" Uh-huh… you little vixen, she did!"

Willow blushes. She looks at Buffy. " Did she hate it?"

Buffy snorts. "God no. How'd she put it?" She thinks about it. " Oh yeah, ' it was nice' not exactly sounding like she hated it."

" Really?" Willow looks almost eager. " She thought it was nice?"

Buffy nods, "But I gotta tell you, she's a little wiggy about…being with a girl."

" Really?" Willow's face falls.

" Oh, don't get sad. I think she's not allergic about it, more like she's …well, shy about it. It's a new idea to her, I think. And hey, not like she hasn't fantasized about it."

" Really?"

" Yeah… and guess who was her fantasy?"

" You?" Willow says.

" No, silly… you!"

" NO WAY!"

" Way"

"No ... I don't believe you Buffy Summers. You're yanking me!"

" Ok, don't believe me, " Buffy says, " but she said she came so hard, she almost broke her bed."

" No way! Now I know… really?"

Buffy nods.

"Wow!"

" I'd say, definitely wow. So… maybe just take it slow. Drop hints. Let her know you're willing, but won't push it, you know? Give her time to warm up to the idea. I'm thinking in time, she'll come around."

" You think?"

" Yeah, but don't rush it, Will. Let it take its course, ok? If you rush it, she might bolt."

" Ok… she's not like repulsed by the idea, is she?"

"No… just when it comes to girls, she's a virgin. Nervous and flighty. So you can't get all amorous, or she'll turn and run."

"Ok."

" Feeling better?" Buffy kisses her cheek.

" Yeah, I do," Willow says. " Oh my god, this wasn't supposed to be me feeling better. God Buff I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, if I give you a happy, I'm happier, ok?" Buffy smiles, " and anyway, now that my little secret's out, at least to you, hey. I mean if Faith moves too slowly, and you're feeling really horny, you know my bed's open to you."

" Buffy!" Willow makes a face. " You're terrible!"

" Uh-huh… but not in bed!"

" God, you are changed. You never used to be so…"

"Aggressive?"

" I was gonna say, slutty, but aggressive works."

Buffy laughs. " I like sex. I found that out being a vampire. Sue me!"

" Oh, I don't think that's necessary. And I gotta admit, when you were telling me about being a vampire, it was really hot!"

"Sooo…?"

" But I just so afraid, with how I feel about you, things could get messy."

" Mmmm… messy. I like messy!"

" BUFFY SUMMERS ! YOU' RE SUCH A …"Willow exclaims

" Hot little piece of ass?" Buffy wiggles her brow.

" GRRRR. "

" Well, think about it. Trust me, you'd love it. And hey, " She paddles Willow's bottom, " wouldn't mind biting that butt!"

" Vampire!"

" Witch!"

They giggle.

Buffy pulls Willow close. " Seriously, honey, I understand your need. " She leans in, whispering in her ear. " You do what you need to do, and so will I."

Willow smiles, not realizing the import of those words.

" So, I guess we should go back inside. Show them I haven't totally lost it."

" Don't worry, Buff. I'll get this straightened out. We'll get Faith ok with this."'

" Good, because I really want to help. I need to!"

Buffy closes her eyes, as if in pain.

"What is it, Buffy?" Willow asks worriedly.

" Just another flash, Will," Buffy shudders. "I'm ok."

" Ok, you sure?"

Buffy nods.

" You need a minute?"

" Yes, please."

" Ok, I'll go in. Start talking to them."

" Thanks, Will. You're the best," Buffy smiles at her.

Willow returns the smile, then walks across the courtyard and enters Giles' apartment.

She doesn't see Buffy's face change, to one of cold calculation.

" Hmmm… yes, I think you'll make the best of pets. I know I'll enjoy turning you."

Chuckling softly, Buffy waits a couple of minutes, then follows her in.

5

" So, this is really it, huh?"

Faith and Angel are standing a little distance from his car. Wes is standing by the car, a way away, giving them some privacy.

" Yeah, this is really it," Angel says.

"I'm still not loving this, Angel. I still think you're bailing too soon. "

" Faith , we've been over this and over this. It's time for me to go."

" Yeah, yeah, so you say. But it doesn't mean I gotta like it, " Faith frowns.

" Ok, what is it?" Angel says, putting an arm around her shoulder. " What's bothering you now?"

" Nothin' "

" Faith, c'mon. This isn't the time for secrets. What is it?"

" I'm scared, Angel. Really scared. This is like the first time I'm really back in charge here. On my own, you know? What if I fuck it up? What if I slip, go bad again? What if I get her killed? God I'm so not ready for this!"

Angel turns her face towards him. " Faith, you're ready. If you weren't, I wouldn't put you here. You're a lot stronger and a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for. You're going to do fine."

" I dunno, Angel. It's just so … " She shakes her head. " I'm still a little queasy about taking Buffy along on patrol. She's going to be really exposed out there. Who knows what'll come after her, now that' she's human."

" Buffy will be fine, Faith. She did this for a long time. She's not going to let herself get killed. And hey, you might find it's nice to have her there. She might surprise you. She's really excited about it."

" Yeah, too excited for me."

"What does that mean?"

" It means, I'm wigging thinking she might have this crush on me, and it'll make her do something stupid. Deadly stupid."

" C'mon, Willow explained that. She got it wrong."

" Well, she gives me a wiggins too."

" Huh?"

Faith cocks her head, brow arched.

" Oh. Well, aren't we full of ourselves?" Angel teases her.

" Hey, she didn't kiss you, did she?"

" I'm the wrong gender for her, " Angel keeps it up.

"Stop it, Angel, Not funny!"

" Geeze, Faith. Lighten up!" Angel chides her. " Willow's pretty level headed. She's not going to attack you… until you're ready."

" ANGEL!"

" Look, if you make it clear you're not interested, she's not going to pursue you. She's not like that."

" Yeah, well, what? Do I have to wear a chastity belt to get it across?"

" Just chill, and be yourself, Things will be fine."

" Yeah, easy for you to say. You don't got two girls giving you the googly eyes!"

Angel gives her look.

" Ok, ok, " She puts up her hands. She breaks away from him, putting a little distance. " So, I guess this is goodbye then"

" Faith, I'm not leaving the country, or anything. I'll be two hours away. If you need anything, call me. I'll be here, 'k?"

" Ok," She smiles, a little wistfully. " So do we hug now?"

" Do you want to?"

" If we HAVE to," She says, but it's her that goes to him, bear hugging him.

" Faith? Faith! I don't have to breathe, but you're going to crack a rib!"

Faith chuckles, loosening up a bit." Sorry. Damn, why'd you have to be vampire? I could really go for you!"

" Faith!"

" Ok, Ok, I know. It's Buffy. All Buffy. I get that. Doesn't mean a girl can't dream does it?"

" You're something, " Angel says, breaking the hug. " Not exactly sure what, but something."

" Well, goodbye, Fang, " Faith teases him

" God, Faith, could you let up on the vamp jokes?" Angel pretends exasperation. " Take care of yourself."

" Always do. Really pisses some guys off, you know?"

" Are you ever serious?"

" Yeah, you take care of yourself, big guy. Gonna miss your stupid hair, you know? Be careful, ok?"

Angel quickly touches his hair, laughs, and walks to his car. " Bye Faith," He calls. He waves to Wes to get in.

" Bye Dead Boy!" Faith calls out.

" I really hate that, Faith!"

" Bye, Angel!"

She watches his car until it disappears up the road. Sighing she turns around.

With a sad little half frown on her face, she heads for home.

6

" Damn"

Faith is tearing apart her room, trying to find that ring. The ring Angel gave her back when he got her out of prison

A Claddah ring.

She was feeling a little blue about Angel leaving, despite the brave face she put on. She was feeling like the sheep left out alone with the wolves. So she decided to wear the ring he gave her, for luck. To feel a little protected. Kind of like a piece of him was still here with her.

Now she can't find it. It's not where it's supposed to be, and she's getting a little frantic. _God, if I lost that… idiot!_

"Shit, where'd I put it? I swore it was in the box. I know it was. " She goes back to her dresser, and pulls out a small, ornate box. She opens it, and stirring through the few nice pieces of jewelry she's managed to hang onto, she still can't find it. Frustrated, she throws it back in the dresser. She stomps over to her bed, and plops herself down.

" Ok, Faith, get a grip. Think. I know I had it when I came to Sunnyhell. I was wearing it, and I put it away so I wouldn't lose it. I really didn't want to lose that. Think. Did I put it in the box?"

She thinks and thinks. She swore she put it in the box._ It's not there._ She thinks some more, and… _maybe I put it on the dresser, meaning to put it on the box._

She runs over to the dresser again, but it's not there. She kneels down , looks under. Not there. She moves it away from the wall. Looks . Not there. She pushes the dresser back, and sits on the floor.

_If I lost that ring, what'll I tell Angel? " Gee, sorry guy. I put it away for safekeeping, and I can't find it now?" What does that make me look like. Moron, that's what. It just doesn't make sense The ring couldn't have just walked outta the box and outta my room…._

She frowns. Her brow clouds over.

_Buffy! I bet that… oh, I'm gonna so kill her if she took that ring. I'll kick her bony ass all the way back to L.A. if she took my ring._

Faith jumps up, ready to storm to Buffy's room. She gets a few steps then halts.

_Wait. If I go in there like Attila the Hun, she'll just freak, and deny it, and I'll never get it back. Stop, Faith. Think. Ok, ok… I'll go in, asking if she's seen it. Give her a chance to save face. Long as I get it back, I don't care. I'll be wearing it, she can't get it again. But I'm so locking my room from now on. Damn her. I thought I left the kleptos back in prison!_

Faith takes a few moments to collect herself, then walks out the door.

Buffy checks herself out in the mirror, and smiles.

"Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the sexiest hottie of all?"

She giggles as she turns from side to side to see herself.

She's wearing a black satin bustier with red piping. Covering her hips and ass, barely, is a very tight leather micro mini skirt. Black thigh highs, 3" pumps and a black choker complete her ensemble. Her hair is tied back in a ponytail with a black velvet ribbon.

She moves to grab her coat when there's a knock at her door.

" Hey, Buffy? You awake?"

_Faith?_

" Can I come in? Just wanna talk for a minute."

Buffy smiles. She looks in the mirror, winks at herself, and walks to the door. She leans against it.

" Hey, Faith. What's up?"

Faith, in the hallway, steams.

" Just open the door, Buff. I need to talk to you."

" Ok"

Buffy opens the door, with her behind it. Faith walks in.

" Hey, Buff. Something of mine went missing…"

Buffy shuts to door, leaning against it. She puts on the perfect pouty face.

"… and I was wondering if you had…" Faith turns around.

And nearly has a heart attack. Her mouth drops open, and her eyes go wide. More, she feels her heart start to beat faster in her chest, and she's got this incredible tingle happening in her groin.

" HOLY SHIT, B!"

Buffy smiles, and puts her finger to her lips.

" Keep it down, Faith," Buffy whispers. She is almost dancing inside seeing Faith's reaction.

" Buffy?" Faith almost chokes, her mouth having gone dry. " Wow!" is all she manages.

Buffy is eating it up like candy. She doesn't walk, she sashays over to Faith. Moving close, but not touching her, she turns around slowly, giving her a full view of her outfit, up close and personal. When she's facing Faith again, she stops, giving her a pouty little smile.

" So, what do you think?" She thrusts a hip, almost but not quite touching Faith.

"I'm thinking…" Faith is a little foggy. She can't quite get over what she's seeing. "… that you totally surprised this girl." Faith moves a little back, because she's feeling a little woozy. She walks around Buffy, and lets out a low whistle. " Man, gotta admit, Buff, didn't think you had it in you." She nods her approval.

Buffy feels every bit of her body tingle, and her nipples are pushing achingly against her bustier. Still, she feels she's doing better than Faith, who can't seem to stop staring at her. And that just makes her get that nice low down feeling.

" You really like it?" Buffy's voice is a bit throaty.

" Oh yeah, really … looks like something I'd wear," Faith gives her the highest praise. All the while, she's doing her best to get her breath back, which is a lot harder than she'd figure it'd be.

"Mmm…" Buffy says. She's getting that aggressive feeling. She moves in on Faith, coming behind her and pressing herself against her. " I bet you'd look hot in it" She whispers, close to her ear.

Faith feels the urge to run, and at the same time, finds her feet glued to the floor. _Ok, this is not supposed to be happening._

" So, ummm… Buff, what's the deal? Why the hooker wear, anyway?" Faith asks, a little nervously.

" Bored. Thought I'd go out, have some fun," Buffy whispers, her lips next to Faith's ear. " Wanna come?" She puts her hand on Faith's ass.

" Geeze, Buff!" Faith scoots away, turning around.

Buffy chuckles. She's loving what she's doing to Faith. And what Faith's reaction is doing to her.

" Going out, like that? What's your mom gonna think?" Faith asks._ Why does she have this room so damn hot?_

" Not that way silly," Buffy nods towards the hallway door, " That way" nodding towards the window.

" Sneaking out, Buffy? What are you, like 16?"

Buffy smiles, and walks over towards Faith. She puts a little extra roll in her hips. Reaching her, she drapes her arm over Faith's shoulder.

" What do you think, Faith?" She looks Faith in the eyes, " Do I look 16 to you?" She licks her lips.

Faith has that run with glued feet thing going again. Worse, her heart is doing it's best to break out of her ribcage. She feels like she's swallowed sand. And damn, if her nipples aren't hard as a rock. She gasps, drawing air.

" No, don't look it, B. But acting like you're 16, sneaking out of the house."

Buffy pouts prettily. " Gee, Faith, you know mom would have a Guernsey if I came downstairs dressed like this. And she's still flipped about me being out all last night. Thought this would just be easier all around."

" Uh-huh. Maybe you shouldn't be all down on her, Buff, you know? She's just concerned about you." Faith has a strange thought flash through her mind. _I wonder if that bird ever gets away from the cobra?_

" I'm a big girl now, Faith. Don't you think?" Buffy drops her other arm over Faith's other shoulder. " I can take care of myself."

Gulp!

" She's just concerned, Buff. I mean, after all that's happened, you know? You're lucky you got a mom that cares. Wish mine gave a shit." _Mommy!_

" Aw, I'm sorry, Faith, " Buffy brings her hand up, caressing Faith behind her ear. " I know you've had it bad." She casually brushes her leg against Faith's. " I know mom cares about you. Me too, " She leans in a little closer. " You're special."

Faith, panicking just a little, breaks away, finding herself next to Buffy's bed. She breathes in hard, trying to cool off.

" Thanks, B. But its just not the same thing," Faith says, watching Buffy like a hawk. " So … ummm… you meeting car guy?"

"Nope, not tonight, " Buffy, her whole body close to the boiling point, her fantasy seemingly coming true, slinks over to Faith, almost standing on top of her. Her hands seem to find Faith's hips. " Solo tonight. Love some company, " She winks, " So, wanna come?"

" Tempting, Buff. Real tempting, " Faith huffs, " But… ummm… gotta get up early. To run. Right, run."

" Well, we don't have to go out, you know," Buffy says, pushing Faith over on her bed. She climbs on top of Faith, her legs just above Faith's hips. " We could stay in. " She slides close to Faith, so her face is less than an inch from Faith's " Sure we could find something to do…" She sucks on Faith's lower lip.

Faith feels like every nerve in her body is ready to pop. She's been dry for a long time. A long, long time. Being with another woman? Not an option. Not in prison, where most of the women were skanks or whores, or worse, would stab you in the back. But this was Buffy. The Buffy she had that fantasy about. _And god, when did she get to be so fucking hot?_ Faith's needy, and Buffy is definitely willing. _Well, guess I can't stay a virgin forever._ She exhales, and starts to respond to Buffy's advances.

"Faith? Are you in there?" Joyce calls through Faith's door next door.

" SHIT" both girls say at once. Buffy jumps up, and Faith rolls off the bed, falling on the floor.

" In here, Mrs. Summers!" Faith calls out. " Just chatting with Buffy!"

Buffy's in a panic. If her mom comes in, seeing her dressed like this … _Damn, why'd she have to come up NOW!_ She looks around, trying to find a place to hide.

" In the bed, in the bed. Cover up!" Faith hisses at her.

Buffy jumps in the bed, pulling the sheet up to her neck. She pulls the ribbon out of her hair, and wipes the crimson lispstick off on the pillow case, and flips it around.

Joyce walks in to Buffy's room, and turns towards the bed.

" Hey girls … Buffy? You in bed already?" Joyce comes over to her. " You feeling ok, honey?"

"Fine, mom. Just pooped. After last night, thought I'd get to bed early tonight."

" Oh, ok honey. That's smart. You need your rest, " Joyce smiles." Faith? Could I borrow you for a few minutes?"

" Aw, mom, we were talking here."

" Buffy, I'm sure your gossip can wait a few minutes," Joyce looks at Faith," The idiot delivery drivers delivered a load of cases for the Gallery here. I really could use those slayer muscles of yours to get them loaded into my car. Give me a hand?"

" Sure Mrs. Summers. Not a problem. Be right down, ok?"

" Sure, Faith," Joyce says. " It's good to have Supergirl back in the house again. " She blushes. " Sorry, Buffy I didn't mean…"

" No prob, mom. I was Supergirl, now Faith is. Just glad she's here. Right?"

" Right," Joyce smiles. " See you downstairs , Faith?"

" You betcha, Mrs. Summers, " Faith smiles.

" Joyce, honey. Kind of awkward calling me Mrs. Summers all the time. I keep looking around for my mother in law!"

Faith laughs, maybe just a shade too hard.

" You sure you're ok, honey?" Joyce turns to Buffy.

" I'm fine, Joyce, " Buffy says.

"That's Mom to you, sweetie," She leans over, and kisses Buffy's forehead. " Honey? Aren't you taking your makeup off?"

" Uh… in a bit, mom."

" Ok, well…I'll be waiting downstairs, Faith. Thanks again."

Joyce smiles at both the girls, and leaves.

" Damn, that was close."

" My mom. Master of timing, " Buffy pouts for real.

" Ok, well, I better get downstairs and help her…" Faith gets up, walking to the door.

Before she can make it, Buffy is out of the bed, and blocking the door.

"Wait, Faith. Ummm… we can continue this, you know." She runs her fingers along Faith's chest. " I can wait for you…"

" I dunno, Buff," Faith says, " I'm thinking maybe it could get a little sticky if we continue …"

" Oh honey, it'd definitely get sticky, " Buffy giggles. Faith turns beet red. " You know, you're just adorable when you blush." Buffy touches her cheek.

" Buffy… ummm… not that you're not attractive, you are, believe me." _Hot as a sun, would be more like it!_" But … well, we're going to be working together, you know? And … office romances… well, you know how that can be…"

" Oh yeah, "Buffy says, throatily. She takes Faith's face in her hands, and pulls her in. She kisses her passionately, and feels Faith's mouth open. She slides her tongue in, caressing her palette, the sliding back out over Faith's tongue. The kiss breaks." They can be fun."

" Buffy, no. We kinda got caught up in the moment, but … ummm… well, I think right now we gotta concentrate more on the slaying, and less on the … whoo… "

"Faith?" Joyce calls upstairs, " You coming?"

_No, dammit, thanks to you, mom,_ Buffy growls to herself.

" Right down, Mrs. … Joyce!" Faith calls out. " Gotta go, B!"

" C'mon, Faith, don't be shy," Buffy strokes her arm. " I'll be gentle."

" No, I think it… just wouldn't work out. Gotta go, Buff. Bye!"

" Ok, Faith. You're loss, " Buffy shrugs.

" Bye!" Faith makes her escape.

Buffy closes the door behind Faith. She walks over to her dresser, and knocks the pictures off it.

" DAMMIT !"

She retrieves her velvet ribbon off the floor, and walking over to the mirror, ties up her hair. Grabbing her lipstick, she leans over, applying it to her lips. Smacking them, she smiles.

" Well, baby, you might've escaped this time. But this isn't over, honey. "

Buffy goes over, and arranges her pillows so it looks like someone's in the bed. From a distance, anyway. She then goes and snaps off the lights. Walking to the window, she opens it, and slides through,

" Not by a long shot."

7

Buffy looks down on the dance floor from the Gallery rail.

She feels horny, and a little angry.

The encounters with Willow, earlier, and now Faith, have left her feeling hungry. She is itching, badly. And she wants, no needs, scratching badly.

Her anger is from Faith's rejection. _Damn her, I saw it in her eyes. I know she was ready. What's her problem? What's wrong with me? What do I gotta do? Crawl in her bed naked?_

She thinks about that for a moment, and a smile comes to her lips. Then she shakes her head. _No, then she'd totally wig, ruining everything. Patience, Buffy. All comes in time…_

She pulls something from the tiny pocket in the skirt. She looks at it. Faith's Claddah ring. She brings it to her lips, and kisses it.

" Soon, baby, really soon" She whispers softly, and pockets the ring.

She looks over the railing, searching for a little touch. She sighs. Nothing looks tempting on the floor. But she needs to scratch the itch. _There's got to be something…_

She looks more carefully. Then her scanning stops, and her eyes go wide. Her mouth turns down into a frown. Flushing, she runs to the Gallery stairs and down to the floor.

" You're kinda cute, " Kris, the girl dancing with Ford says. She smiles at him seductively. " So, you with someone?"

" Not tonight," Ford returns her smile. " Solo tonight."

" Mmm. Don't know. Hard to believe a cutie like you is all alone, no one claiming him."

" Just me, " Ford smiles.

Kris takes Ford's hand, putting it on her hip. She moves closer, whispering in his ear.

" I heard this was a hot club, but not really impressed. What say we get outta here, have some fun?"

" I'm sorry, skank, he's busy" Buffy pulls on Ford's shoulder, pulling him away from Kris.

" Hey, Buff, " Ford smiles. It fades when he sees her face. " Whatcha doin' here?"

" More to the point, William, " Buffy hisses, " What're YOU doing here… without me?"

" Hey, shorty, get lost. The boy's with me now."

" Don't think so, skanky. Why don't you leave?"

" Who do you think you're talking to, shrimp?"

Buffy turns and faces the girl, who's about Ford's height. " Don't know. Don't know you."

" And that gives me a happy. Why don't we keep it that way, and you crawl back to your mouse hole, Minnie?"

" I'm guessing you don't know who _I _am either."

" Again, a happy, " The taller girl sneers.

" I own this club. It's an exclusive club, " Buffy says, in a low firm voice. "How'd you get in here?"

" Buffy, we were only dancing. Don't get…"

" SHUT UP, WILLIAM!" She barks at him. She looks at him, and frowns. " Where's your collar?"

" I left it at home. Didn't think it was important…"

" Goddamn you, William, I gave you that collar for a reason!"

"Whoa, Mama here really has you on a short leash." Kris laughs.

" And you!" Buffy turns on her, "Asked you a question. How'd you get in?"

" Not that's it you business, but she brought me."

Kris points to a tall, lanky blonde. Buffy stares at her, and Gwen, feeling her gaze, turns towards her. She sees the situation, and mouths " oh, shit." She hurries over.

" Buffy, Hi. Sorry, I … look, I didn't know Kris was dancing with your guy… " Gwen looks flustered.

" Gwen, what're you getting so flustered about? You scared of some shrimpy little human?" Kris tilts her head. " Buffy? You're shitting me. THIS is the scary vamp you told me about? She's a fucking happy meal!"

" Gwen, " Buffy says, her eyes hard. " did you tell her the rules?"

" Yes, Buffy, honest I did!"

" THEN WHY THE HELL WAS SHE GOING AFTER FORD?" Buffy yells at her. Gwendolyn moans, shaking.

" Shut up, you little pipsqueak." Kris vamps out. " Before I eat you for a snack."

" Oh. You're going to kill a human. In here?" Buffy says, her voice deadly low.

" Yeah, though you hardly qualify, " Kris goes to take her.

But before she can get a step, a stake appears out of Buffy's coat sleeve, in her hand, and in Kris's chest.

" Oh…fu…" She says, as she dissolves into a pile of dust.

Buffy stands blinking. She turns on Gwen.

" Gwendolyn," Buffy says in a sing song voice.

Gwen, shaking, moves closer to Buffy. Abject fear colors her features.

" WHY ARE YOU BRINGING SKANKS LIKE THAT INTO THIS CLUB?" She yells at the taller vampire. " DON'T YOU KNOW BETTER?"

" Y-Y-Yes, Buffy… I'm sorry."

" Buffy, chill, it was only a dance…" Ford intercedes.

By now there is no dancing, as everyone has stopped to look at the scene.

" If you think I'm really happy with you right now, _WILLIAM, _I'd think again. Don't interfere, and stay silent!"

Ford presses his lips together, but backs off a step, being quiet.

Buffy turns to Gwen. " I don't think I heard you right. What did you say?"

" I said, I'm sorry, Buffy, " Gwen replies, quietly.

Buffy slaps her, hard.

" WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

" I-I'm sorry, M-Mistress" Gwen rubs her cheek.

" You know the price, don't you Gwen?" Buffy, furious, holds up the stake.

Gwendolyn, totally losing it, starts to cry. Blood red tears fall down her cheeks. She falls to her knees.

" Please, please, Mistress. I'm so sorry. I thought she understood, I really did. Please, don't … don't…" She stares at the stake.

" You know the rules, Gwen, " Buffy comes over, grabbing her hair. She pulls her head back, and the stake goes flying at the kneeling girl's chest. Just before it hits, it stops. Gwendolyn is shivering, anticipating her death.

Buffy pulls the girl by the hair, to her feet. Gwen stands before her, head down.

" I know it wasn't ALL your fault, Gwen. That's why I didn't kill you. Do you understand that?"

Gwen nods.

" I didn't hear you, honey. What?" Buffy pulls on her hair.

" Yes, Mistress, " Gwen sobs, relieved to be alive.

" You're banned, Gwen." Buffy says simply. " Get out."

" Please, Mistress, give me another chance? I'll… do anything to have another chance. Please!" She starts sinking to her knees again.

" I don't give second chances, Gwen. You screwed up. You know how you have to earn your way back in. Are you willing?"

Gwendolyn, knowing the torture she's in for, still nods.

" Yes, Mistress. I … I'm willing." She starts to cry again.

Buffy walks over to Gwendolyn, taking her face in her hands. " Poor little pet. So sad. " She brushes her blood tears away with her thumbs. " I'll tell them not to go too hard on you, baby. Now get up."

Gwen stands, head down.

" Who do you love?"

" You, Mistress."

" Ok, go now."

Gwendolyn, totally chastised, turns and walks away.

Buffy looks around the silent dance floor. No one is moving, they're all staring.

" THE REST OF YOU, " She yells at them, " YOU NEVER EVER BREAK MY RULES! CLEAR?"

Almost in unison, Yes is heard loudly, and clearly.

" GOOD. ANY COMMENTS? QUESTIONS?"

The room is silent.

" THEN GO BACK TO DANCING!"

The DJ starts the music, and the crowd breaks up.

Buffy, still furious, walks to Ford. She grabs his arm.

" What the hell do you think you're doing , coming here without me?" She scolds him , " Do you know how close you came to being dead? DO YOU?"

"Summers, I was only curious. I … just came to dance and talk… I didn't think…"

" You're damned right you didn't think!" Buffy looks like she wants to kill him. " Come with me!"

Grabbing Ford's arm, she starts towards the staircase.

" Buffy? Where we going?" Ford asks, a little uneasy.

" SHUT UP, WILLIAM, AND JUST FOLLOW ME!" Buffy screams at him.

Ford goes silent. He's never seen Buffy like this, and he's more than a little afraid.

Buffy drags him upstairs, along the hallway, to the bouncer at the door.

" Is he the one that let you in?"

Ford nods.

She releases his hand, and pushes him away. She walks over to the doorman, and turns him around.

" Did you let him in here this evening?"

" Er…"

"Simple question. Yes or no. Did you let him in?"

" Yes"

" Is he a member?"

The doorman shakes his head.

" Sorry, I didn't hear that." Buffy grabs his ear. " Is he a member of this club?"

" No, ma'am"

" Was he with a member?"

" Er… no… but you brought him in last night, ma'am. And he said he was meeting you here…"

" look at his neck."

The doorman looks, and winces.

" Right, no collar, right? And what would've happened if oh… he got stupid and left with a vampire?"

The doorman swallows hard.

" You broke the rules. What do you have to say?"

" I'm…I'm sorry, ma'am, really sorry."

" Me too," She whispers. She pulls out the stake, and plunges it in his chest.

The doorman collapses into a pile of dust.

" God, Buffy, why?" Ford looks at the pile of dust on the floor.

" He broke the rules. He knew you weren't a member, nor with one. He never should've let you in. Especially without my collar on you!" She looks at the dust pile. " He was a good doorman, too. Dammit!"

" That's harsh!"

"You haven't begun to see harsh yet, William!" She pushes him towards the stairs." Upstairs. Meet me upstairs in the playroom in 5 minutes."

" Buffy, what's going on, what's this about? Why're you so mad?"

Buffy looks at him. Her face is a mask of cold rage.

" Are you questioning me, William?"

Ford feels ice in his stomach. " No, I'm just not understanding…"

" Five minutes. In the playroom. Or, you'll never see me again, Ford. Ever. You'll never come _here_ again. Is that clear?"

Before he can answer, she turns on her heel and stalks off.

Ford stands stunned. He feels anger, and resentment.

And fear. Fear of losing Buffy.

Fear wins. He heads for the stairs.

8

Buffy is waiting for Ford when he enters the playroom. She's standing in the center of the room, her arms crossed over her chest. She stares at him coldly as he crosses to her.

"What the hell were you thinking, coming here without me?" Buffy's tone is frosty." And why aren't you wearing that collar I gave you. Remember, that was for your protection, bonehead. Where is it?"

"At home. I left it at home. I didn't think I'd need it!"

" So you came to this club, alone, without my collar on to protect you. Smart, William, really smart!" Buffy shakes her head. " And why was that again?"

" I got curious, Summers. I wanted to know more about you. I came to find out. What's wrong with that?"

" What's wrong with that?" She mocks him, her voice acid, " What's wrong is you came within a hair of being someone's dinner. Don't you understand that?"

" We were just dancing, Summers!"

" _You _were dancing. She was planning the menu!"

" But you said I was safe here, that …"

" She wasn't following my rules. Or did you think I staked her for chuckles?" Buffy starts pacing, her nerves jumping. " If I hadn't come, you would've been dead. DEAD. That means, no breathing, no walking around, just a corpse in an alley somewhere. DO YOU WANT THAT?"

" No, of course not, " Ford walks to her. " We were only dancing, I wasn't going to go with her. "

" Ford, you don't get it, " Buffy says, her tone softening. " The rules only work if _everyone_ plays by them. That's why I came down so hard on her. I had to, or there'd be chaos. No one would be safe. " She feels her anger rising. " But why were you here anyway?" She scolds him, " You're not supposed to come here unless I bring you. I can't keep you safe if I'm not with you. Don't you understand that? Are you stupid? "

" No," Ford says, petulantly. " I'm crazy about you, Summers. I can't get you out of my mind. I just wanted to know more about you. I did some digging around, found out about your nests…"

" You found out about my nests?" Buffy looks at him, face red. "How dare you! That's private. How dare you go snooping around on me! " Her voice is ice cold. " At least, tell me you didn't actually go to one. TELL ME YOUR NOT THAT MUCH OF A MORON!"

" I didn't go to a nest, " Ford tries to calm things down. " Honest. I … wouldn't go except in daylight…"

" FORD! God, a nest is designed for a vampire. It's dark during the day. Vamps can move around in them. If you went to one, you'd be eaten faster than…. God, I don't understand you, Ford. If you want to know more about me, ask me, But don't be snooping around. Don't go snooping around my nests, ever! And don't, I repeat, DON'T come here without me again!"

" Buffy, what's the harm? I didn't get hurt, I'm not stupid…"

" You're incredibly stupid, Ford. You're so stupid, you don't KNOW you're stupid!" She paces around, her anger building again. "You're going to get yourself killed, and ruin everything. Everything. " She walks to the bar. Reaching under, she pulls out a phone. She presses a button. " Find Marie, Linda and Zoë. Send them up to the playroom. " She listens. " NOW WOULD BE GOOD!" She yells into the receiver, and slams it down. She strides over to Ford, getting into his face.

" Fine, you want to die, you'll die. But at least, I'll give _my _girls the pleasure of killing you." She marches away, seeming to want to hit something. " HOW CAN YOU BE SO ….AHHHH?" She nearly screams in her fury.

Ford, ashen at her rage, turns toward the door. " Maybe I should go…"

" No. NO!" Buffy yells running over and blocking the door. " NO! You don't get to just ' go'! You don't get to just scare me like this, make me feel like this, then just GO! WHY DO YOU WANT TO HURT ME! "

Ford's resistance fades. " Buffy, god, baby, I don't want to hurt you…" He holds out his arms,

Buffy pushes him away. " What do you think I would feel if ANYTHING happened to you, Ford? WHAT? I'd… I'd be …. Oh god… " She starts to cry.

" Buffy…"

" NO! You defy me, you come here without me, you hate me, don't you? YOU HATE ME!"

" Buffy," Ford falls on his knees. " I'm so sorry…!"

" No, that doesn't cut it, Ford. Sorry doesn't cut it!" Buffy fumes , seeming to walk in circles.

Linda, Zoë and Marie enter the playroom. They immediately feel Buffy's anger, and start to shake. They stand silently by the door.

" Sorry, Ford? SORRY? " Oh, I'm SO sorry I DIED ON YOU, BUFFY! I'm sorry I WAS STUPID and GOT MYSELF KILLED! I' M SORRY I BROKE YOUR HEART BUFFY!" Buffy can't seem to stand still, she keeps walking, pacing, circling. " GET OUT. GET OUT AND DON'T EVER COME BACK! DON'T EVER TRY TO SEE ME AGAIN!"

" Buffeee, " Ford moans, crawling to her on his hands and knees. "Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry." He grovels before her feet, head touching the floor. " I'll do anything, anything to please you!"

Buffy stares at his abject form, coldly. Her arms are crossed. " You hurt me, Ford. You defied me! How am I supposed to forgive that? What? Tell me!"

Ford swallows hard. His voice is nearly a whisper." Punish me?"

Buffy smiles. It's a cold smile.

" Is that what you want me to do?" She asks, quietly.

" Yes," He whispers.

"Louder!"

" Yes!" He says

" Yes… what?"

" Yes, Buffy."

Buffy grabs his hair, raising his head. She slaps him hard across the face.

" Yes, what?"

" Yes… Mistress."

She drops his head, and smiles. She waves to the girls, who come to her.

" Darlings, Ford has been a bad boy. Haven't you, puppy?"

Ford doesn't answer, not realizing she's addressing him.

Buffy kicks him, and he groans.

" Haven't you, puppy?"

" Yes, Mistress, " He says, softly.

" Who are you?"

" Ford."

KICK

" Who _are_ you?"

" Puppy"

SLAP!

" Who are you?"

" Puppy, Mistress."

Buffy kneels by him, gently stroking him.

" There, there, poor puppy, " Buffy says softly. She looks up at the girls, who know what's coming. " I don't think Puppy is bad, do you girls?"

" No, mistress" All three answer in unison.

" I just think Puppy needs to be trained, don't you?"

The three giggle. They just love to train new pets.

" Yes, Mistress, Puppy needs to be trained."

" Little Puppy just doesn't know the rules." Zoë giggles.

" Puppy's not housebroken, " Linda chortles.

" Get Puppy ready for training girls," Buffy smiles.

The three lift Ford up. They start to strip off his clothing. Marie goes to the other room, and returns with a leather thong.

Buffy walks over to one of the panel, and pushes on it. It unlocks, and she turns it. Behind it is a set of chains and leg manacles, mounted to the wall. Locking it in place, she turns and inspects Ford's preparation.

" Bring puppy and chain him up, ladies, " Buffy coos at her pets.

She walks over, and inspects the implements on the wall. Taking down a crop, she swishes it through the air, smiling broadly.

She walks over to Ford, who's chained to the wall. She caresses his face with the crop handle.

" I think we'll start with the riding crop."

The crop swishes through the air.

9

Buffy lays back on the padded lounge, sighing contentedly. Her movements are slow and languorous. Her eyes are lidded, and she has a soft, sleepy smile on her face. Her bustier is gone, as is her skirt and thong. All that is left are her stockings , choker and shoes.

She looks down at Zoë, who is doing her best to please her mistress with her tongue. Beside Buffy's shoulder is Linda, alternately stroking and suckling her. She reaches out, caressing her flame red hair.

_Mmmm, so nice… I think I want to marry Zoë's tongue_, she giggles softly. _Oh, god, yesss… mmmmm… sweet, sweet Zoë, my sweet baby sister, knows how to please me sooo much…ahhhh… mmmm… oooooo…._

She pulls Linda close, and whispers in her ear. " Bite me!"

Linda vamps out, and sinks her fangs into Buffy's breast. Buffy winces, then sighs.

_Oh, I love that sooo much_ she whimpers softly as the pain mixes with the pleasure in her belly, twin rivers of fire and ice. _ Oh god, sooo sweet… mmmmm… oooooo…._ She feels the tiniest bit woozy. _Slowly, honey, slowly… _" Slowly, Linda… make it laaasst." Buffy hisses at her. Linda slows her pace. _Oh, god, I miss biting. I want to bite._ _Ooooh.. . oooo…oh god oh god oh god! Yeeessss… Zoë yeeeessss baby now….now… Linda… ZOË … OH ..Ohhh… AHHHHH_

Buffy screams as her body rocks in pleasure. Linda morphs to normal, and holds Buffy as her body shakes, giving into her sweet release. Zoë continues her ministrations, keeping her mistress clean and tidy. Finishing up, she crawls up and cuddles next to Buffy, wrapping her arms around her. Buffy sighs, happy.

" My darling babies, " She pulls them close, kissing them softly, "You're so good to your Mistress."

Both of the girls wriggle in happiness. Buffy praise is the best!

" How's our naughty puppy doing?"

She starts to sit up, and feels dizzy. She looks at Linda. " Someone got greedy, " She says. Then laughs, hugging her. Linda smiles.

The two girls help her up, and she stands for a minute, getting her balance. She walks over to Ford.

Ford looks somewhat worse for wear, bruised and beaten. Multiple lashes crisscross his chest and legs. He looks dazed.

Marie has gotten creative. Currently she is using the flail on him, more caressing him than actually whipping him. She looks at Buffy expectantly, and offers her the flail.

Buffy shakes her head. " I think Puppy has had enough for tonight, " She smiles.

She walks over, and takes Ford's face in her hands.

" Puppy?" She coos. " PUPPY!"

Ford opens his eyes, and seeing Buffy, smiling at him, smiles goofily.

" Poor Puppy. I'm sorry, baby, but you scared me so badly. You were so, so naughty. You must learn to obey your mistress always. Do you understand that now, Puppy?"

" Yes, mistress," Ford answers softly.

" Good puppy! I worry that my puppy will be hurt, you know that don't you, puppy?"

" Yes, mistress, I know," Ford says, sounding happy.

" I love my good puppy," Buffy kisses him softly. " Will puppy ever be a bad puppy again?"

" No, never mistress, " Ford says.

" And he will obey his mistress always?"

" Yes, always."

" Good, Buffy loves her sweet puppy. Does her puppy love her?"

" I adore my Mistress," Ford says, eagerly.

" Good, good puppy," Buffy licks his chest, and Ford shivers in pain and pleasure. " Sweet puppy."

Buffy backs up.

" Take Puppy down and apply salve to him." She looks down, and her brow arches. " Naughty Puppy!" She says, pretending sternness.

" No, Mistress, no!" Ford says, abjectly. " I'm sorry."

" Oh… but Mistress loves Naughty puppy," Buffy giggles. She goes over, and kneels next Ford, staring at his obvious arousal. She gently caresses him, and he groans." Puppy is hurting. Oh, that's not good!" She giggles, and bending over, licks his thong. Another groan. " This will never, ever do!"

Buffy stands up, and goes over to Marie. Taking Marie in her arms, she cuddles her. " You did very well on training Puppy, honey." She kisses her. Marie wiggles in pleasure.

" Marie?"

" Yes, Ma'am?"

" I think you deserve a reward. Look at Puppy. Is there anything you want?"

Marie looks at Buffy shyly, and giggles. She makes a hand gesture. Buffy laughs.

" Why aren't I surprised?" She pats Marie's ass." Ok, honey, you can have Puppy." She looks up. " Zoë? Help Marie get Puppy on the bed. Apply the salve generously, ok? And Marie…you make Puppy feel better in your own special way."

"Thank you, Mistress" Marie says, her eyes greedily fixed on Ford's thong. "I'll do my best"

" That's all I ask."

" Linda, honey? Come with me, please"

Buffy leads Linda to the lounge, and lays down on it, indicating Linda should join her. Linda does, happily.

Buffy cuddles her, and kisses her softly.

" Is my pet happy?"

" Very happy, Mistress. You always make me happy."

Buffy smiles, and caresses her.

" Linda, my love, you're the brightest of my pets, so I need you to listen carefully. It's important."'

" Yes mistress, " Linda smiles, enjoying the closeness.

" I'm putting phase one of my plan into operation. That means that you all could be in danger, unless you listen to me carefully. Understand?"

Linda nods. " Danger?" She asks in a quavering voice.

" To convince the Slayer I'm with her, I need her to trust me. To do that, I have to reveal some of our nests. Unfortunately, some of ours must be sacrificed to the greater good, so to speak, " Buffy chuckles," or maybe, it's the greater evil. Whatever. The important thing, is I don't want you, or Zoë, or Marie harmed. You're all very special to me."

" Thank you, ma'am, " Linda blushes.

Buffy pulls her in for another kiss.

" So it's important that you three stay out of harms way. Ford is safe, being human. But I would be very upset if anything happened to my special girls."

" I understand, mistress."

" So, it's important. I won't reveal the main nest. That, and here, will be your only safe houses. So be sure you only sleep in one of those two places. Understood?"

" Yes, ma'am."

" Good. Make sure Zoë and Marie understand. Tell them they are to obey you without question, or they face my punishment. And that punishment will be very severe. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am," Linda quivers. She knows how bad it can get.

" Good. And for God's sake, be discreet in your hunting. Don't get caught out. I can't guarantee your safety, and nothing will spoil my plans. Even if it means sacrificing one or all of you. Understood?"

" Yes, mistress, perfectly."

" That's my sweet pet," She coos softly. She tweaks Linda's nipple. Linda sighs happily.

" Do you love me, Linda?" Buffy asks softly.

" Yes, Mistress."

"Do you want to make love to me, Linda?"

" Oh, yes, Mistress!" Linda shivers excitedly. Rarely do any of the girls get the Mistress to themselves.

Buffy pulls her into a passionate kiss.

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 8

Summary: What if Buffy lost one of her fights, and a vampire with a wicked sense of humor changed things forever? No specific pairings, though The Chosen Two play a significant role in the story, as does Willow.

Disclaimer: The characters created by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox are their sole property. Original characters and the story are mine. The author is not making any money on this story, just writing it due to insanity. Heh.

Lyrics to " One way or Another" © Deborah Harry and Nigel Douglas Harrison

" Passion, I see, is catching"

Wm. Shakespeare

1

The early A.M. hours in the Sunnydale morning.

Buffy Summers rushes through the darkness, knowing she has to be somewhere soon. Soon, or she'll miss again like last night. She can't miss, it's important, precious to her.

_Damn, I've got to get in control. I'm letting these go way too long…_

Buffy comes to the door, and quietly opens it. She peers in, and breaths a sigh of relief when she realizes all is quiet. Taking off her heels, she sneaks in, softly closing the door behind her.

Walking up the stairs, avoiding the steps with squeaks, she makes her way into the hallway. She silently walks to her room, and lets herself in.

Flipping on the light, she quickly removes her clothing, almost tearing it off her body. Dumping it in the corner, throwing on a robe, she walks back and turns off the light. She lets herself into the hallway, and quietly goes next door.

She carefully opens the door, being sure not to startle the sleeper within. She looks and sighs, very softly. She made it.

As she has for every night that Faith has been with them, Buffy stands quietly, watching her sleep. The moonlight shines brightly through the bedroom window, and she can see Faith clearly in her bed. She almost gasps.

Faith has had a restless night, and has kicked the covers off her bed. She lays, exposed and very naked, on the bed.

Buffy feels a warm tickle down low. She is enchanted; this is the first time she's seen Faith nude, and she's even more gorgeous than she imagined.

_She's a goddess,_ Buffy thinks to herself, _my goddess! She's so… so… I don't know a word for it, but she's it._ Buffy feels herself sinking to her knees, As if she needs to pay homage to Faith's beauty. _My love, my darling, if only I could show you how much I adore you. And I will, my sweetness. I'll give you the world, anything … anything you want, I'll get it for you._

Buffy feels as if every nerve, every cell of her body is on fire. It takes all her will not to crawl into bed next to her, hold her, love her the way she , and only she, could love her. Her breath is gone, she can't breath in the presence of her goddess. She carefully pulls herself to her feet, realizing she feels week and woozy.

She knows she should leave. Her brain screams at her to _leave. She'll catch you, she'll hate you. Leave._ But like a moth to the flame, she feels herself pulled forward. _I won't touch her, I just have to see her._ Buffy moves closer, seeing Faith's skin glow white in the moonlight._ So beautiful, my moon goddess_. Buffy feels dizzy, as if the blood to her brain is flowing south. She realizes she's very wet between her thighs, and a blush comes to her neck. _Oh god, if she smells me…_

Then she smells her, and hears her soft moans. Buffy realizes Faith is in the throws of a very, very nice dream. Her body jerks around, and Buffy, afraid she'll waken, backs away. But the scent of her arousal, her love perfume, lingers in Buffy's nostrils. She feels her body respond, tingles becoming fire inside her. Her tingles below become twitches, and as she watches Faith in the throws of her dream, Buffy gently touches herself. _I shouldn't, I can't! This is bad, so bad._ But like the moth, she can't move too far away from the light. Her finger moves in lazy circles, seeming to have a mind of its own, as she watches.

Faith is having a wonderful dream. Her eyes are closed, but she can feel the sun on them and her skin. She can feel the rough scratch of a wool blanket under her back, and can smell flowers and grass. She realizes she's in a field somewhere. When the wind caresses her body, she also realizes she is naked. Her eyes open languorously, and she feels an incredible sense of peace.

A shadow falls over her, and she looks up. Buffy is standing over her, and she , like faith, is nude. _Oh no, not this dream again._ Faith starts to get up, but Buffy straddles her, gently pushing her back on the blanket.

" Shhh, " Buffy puts her fingers to her lips. " Keep it down, they'll hear you"

Buffy slides her body along Faith's , so Faith can feel the warm smoothness of her flesh next to hers. Buffy's face is just above hers, and her lips tickle Faith's . " I love you, " Buffy whispers softly, before her lips touch Faith's.

The kiss is warm and soft, and Faith's eyes close. Her mouth opens, and Buffy's tongue slides in, caressing her tongue and palette. Faith sucks on her tongue, loving the sweetness of the taste. She feels Buffy's moving against her, a sweet soft friction that lights a warm glow in her sweet down low.

Her eyes open and she realizes she's no longer in a field , but in a room somewhere on a soft bed with clean, sweet smelling sheets. Buffy looks into her eyes, and Faith feels as if she's swimming in them, drowning in Buffy's golden hazel eyes.

" Buffy," Faith whispers, her heart beating softly in her chest. She can feel the answering tattoo from Buffy's, as she is pressed tightly to her. Faith circles Buffy with her arms, feeling her hands wander over the soft warm skin and gentle, sweet curves.

" Kiss me," Buffy says to Faith with her eyes, and their lips meet, fire to fire. Buffy's hair, soft and full feels like a cloud on Faith's cheeks and shoulders. Their tongues play, dancing into each other's mouth. She feels the glow start to burn as she feels Buffy's down covered sex touch hers, and Faith knows that this is so incredibly wrong, and so wonderfully right.

Then Buffy slides down her, her lips kissing and caressing her skin, and Faith feels soft tingles in all her nerves. When Buffy's wet and warms lips touch her nipples, Faith feels rivers of tiny fires flow through her, rushing to her natural delta. Her whimpers become moans as she holds Buffy's head to her breast.

Buffy slides lower, her soft hair tickling Faith like a thousand tiny fingers. Faith can't catch her breath, Buffy's tongue and lips are setting her on fire. Faith is in heaven, if heaven can ever be this sweet.

When Buffy's soft tongue touches her intimately for the first time, Faith is filled with bolts of pleasure. Her head lolls to the side as her hips open to receive her lover. Her eyes close, and then open, and kneeling beside her is Willow.

Willow is naked except for the collar around her neck, the cuffs on her wrists, and the belt restraint around her waist. Intricate gold chains connect the three, and Faith suddenly realizes she has a chain in her hand. Willow's lips look wet and warm, and her eyes are gazing at Faith adoringly.

" What are you doing here, Willow?" Faith whispers hoarsely, Buffy's ministrations pushing her closer.

" I'm you're pet, Faith. Buffy gave me to you." Willow says, and she leans over, kissing Faith's lips.

Their tongues play as she feels the fire in her tummy rage like a forest fire. Willow's hands are on Faith, caressing her softly. Faith is too gone to question, only accepting what is.

As Faith feels the waves of intense pleasure crash over her, Willow ceases her caresses and looks into her eyes.

" Be careful, Faith, she's not what she seems, " Willow whispers the warning.

Faith, drugged with her pleasure and release, looks down beyond Willow. She sees Buffy lift her head, and smile at her…

Her face changes, and she becomes a vampire. She opens her mouth, her fangs glittering in the dim light, and she sinks them into her thigh

The pain is incredible. She looks to Willow, but she too has vamped out, and sinks her fangs into Faith's neck

Faith screams, but her screams have no voice….

Buffy, softly moaning, eyes closed, is startled back to reality when Faith starts screaming. Rushing to her, she sinks to her knees. She begins to shake Faith.

" Faith, wake up, honey. You're dreaming. It's just a dream. Wake up"

Faith eyes fly open, and seeing Buffy next to her, scrambles away from her. Realizing she's naked, she pulls the sheet up to cover herself. She's still caught in the web of her dream.

Buffy feels ice in her stomach, shooting little shards to her heart. She stands up. Her expression changes from warm concern to cold indifference.

" Is everything ok in there?" Joyce calls from her own room, wakened by Faith's screams.

" Yeah, mom, " Buffy calls back, her tone flat," Faith's just having a dream. Go back to sleep."

" You ok, Faith?" Joyce calls out.

" Yeah, I'm fine, " Faith, finding her voice, calls back.

"Ok, goodnight, girls."

" Buffy, what're you doing here?" Faith hisses. She's still weirded out by her dream.

" I was in the hall, and heard you scream. I came in to check." Buffy says through tight lips._ Stop looking at me that way!_

" Oh."

" I'll go now, " Buffy says, her tone like ice.

" I'm sorry I freaked, just you scared me a little."

Faith realizes how aroused she is, and how close Buffy is. And how sexy she looks in that robe.

" Yeah, I seem to have that affect on you a lot, " Buffy says, turning away. She starts for the door. Her hands are shaking.

" Buffy, wait, " Faith says, sitting up, the sheet dropping away. " About last night…"._ Don't go. Please, don't go._

She realizes she wants to continue it, now. Even with the scary ending, she still feels the incredible warm feelings the dream wakened in her.

"Forget it, Faith. Just forget it." Buffy says. _I wish I could._

Buffy slips through the door before Faith can say anything else.

Faith sits blinking, confused.

2

Buffy sits on the edge of her bed, back to the window. The room is dark, the only light from the moon.

She doesn't want to go to her special place. Not tonight. She feels drained, and the thousand eyes of her goddess, staring down at her, would only be daggers in her heart.

Like her two eyes had put there earlier.

She has Faith's Claddah ring in her hand, and is turning it over and over in her fingers. It feels so cold, like ice, to her. She stares at it, her mind a thousand miles away.

_I saw what I saw, _Buffy chuckles bitterly to herself,_ I disgust her. I revolt her. My sweetness, my love hates me!_

She stands up, and walks to her vanity, staring into the glass. The reflection staring back at her disgusts her. _Ugly, ugly, ugly. You're so ugly. You're a freak, a monster. UGLY!_ She turns away, feeling sick. Her heart feels sick. She feels empty.

She stares out the window at the moon, and hears laughter. Her goddess laughs at her, teases her, and taunts her. She scorns her and rejects her.

She clutches the Claddah ring in the palm of her hand, and feels it burn her. The heat poisons her, makes her weak.

She stumbles to her bed, her legs barely holding her up. She falls back, and feels the cold sheets comfort her. She feels the tears burn in her eyes, fall on her cheeks, and her breath sobs out of her. She is alone, and miserable.

Her goddess has looked upon her.

She has judged her.

And found her unworthy.

3

Buffy sits at the dining room table, looking at plate of food in front of her. Her stomach churns, but she knows she has to eat something.

She's due at Giles later for a training session. Tonight is her first night back on patrol, and they want to get some quality training time in. Or she did, until now. Now she doesn't really give a damn.

She swirls the food around with her fork, trying to make herself eat. It still looks awful. But she has to eat.

Sighing, she stabs a bit of scrambled egg on the end of her fork, raising it towards her mouth. She stops half-way, staring at the egg on the tines.

" I don't think you have to slay it, honey. It's already cooked, " Joyce says, startling her.

" Huh? Oh sorry mom. Guess I'm just not all that hungry." She lowers the fork to her plate.

" Can I make you something else? "

" No, mom, this is fine, " Buffy looks up at her. " Don't worry, I'll eat." She picks up the fork, and puts the egg in her mouth, chewing noisily. " Mmmm… good." She smiles. It tastes like ashes to her.

" I just want you to eat something. You're so thin, baby. I'm tempted to use you to clean under the doors."

Despite herself, Buffy snorts. " God mom, I'm not like anorexic or nothing."

Buffy's back to swirling her food around on her plate.

" Ok honey, what is it? What's bothering you?"

" Nothin."

" Yeah, I could tell by that bite of food you almost gagged swallowing. Is my cooking _that_ bad?"

"No, mom. I guess… I'm just nervy about patrolling again. You know? Don't want to mess it up. I've messed up so much …"

" Honey, everybody knows it wasn't you. Not the real you. It was just some monster wearing your face…"

" Ok, mom, that's kinda gross."

" You know what I mean. You aren't responsible for what that thing did…"

"But I feel responsible, mom. These memories… don't say " the bad thing did this, or that…" it just says. " you did this or that." It was me, whether I was driving or not…"

" Buffy, you're being too had on yourself."

" Am I? Because mom, I also have memories of actually doing it, feeling what I felt, and feeling the blood going down my throat, and enjoying it. No, relishing it. Celebrating it."

" Honey… "

" Mom, I'm not crazy, and … I can't ever make it right. But I've got to do something…and I don't want to make it worse by getting someone else killed…" She puts her head in her hands. " Don't think I could.. . damn". She starts to cry.

Joyce comes around, and hugs her. " Buffy, it's ok. You'll do fine. I know it."

Buffy looks up, smiling through her tears. " I wish I could believe that. I do." She sniffles, and uses her napkin to wipe her face.

Joyce just holds her, to reassure her.

" Hey guys, … whoa, did I miss a Kodak moment here?" Faith walks in from the doorway, sweating from her run.

Joyce feels Buffy stiffen in her arms.

Joyce looks at her, and lets go of her. Her face has changed to a cold hard mask.

" Thanks mom, but I gotta motor. Gotta get to The Magic Box so I can do some working out before we go patrolling for the nests."

Faith also sees the change, and groans inwardly. She was hoping that what happened last night, whatever it was, would be better by this morning. She sees it's worse.

" Hey, Buff, " Faith says softly.

" Thanks for breakfast mom, " Buffy kisses Joyce on the cheek. She ignores Faith as if she isn't there." See you later this afternoon…or evening, whichever…"

" Buffy, aren't you going to say hi to Faith?" Joyce asks her, feeling the tension.

" Oh. Yeah. Hello, Faith, " Buffy says, her tone flat.

" Buffy, " Faith replies, tone flat, taking her cue from Buffy.

" Here, " Buffy says, digging in her jeans, pulling out the Claddah ring " I think this is yours" She throws it at Faith.

Faith catches it, and looks in her palm. She looks up at Buffy.

" My ring? You had my ring?"

" Yeah, so?"

" You took my ring?"

" No, I found your ring."

" Right. In my jewelry box, in my bedroom. Thanks bunches, B. Nice to know that my stuff is safe around her." Faith's face clouds over.

" I didn't like steal your stupid ring, Faith. I found it, I told you."

" That's funny. Cuz I haven't worn this ring since I hit Sunnydale. So I don't think it slipped off my finger. It was in my jewelry box…so how'd you just 'find' it? Unless you were going through my things?"

" Buffy? Were you in Faith's room?"

" Oh god, not you too, Mom. Geeze, just feeling the love in this house." Buffy looks at both of them. " know what? Don't care if you believe me, both of you. " She turns and walks towards the front door.

" No way, hold up, Buffy," Faith strides after her, grabbing her shoulder. " You're not leaving til I know why you took my ring!"

Buffy turns on her, and gives her a look of pure rage so fierce, Faith backs off.

" Don't you ever, ever touch me like that again. If you want to keep that hand, that is." She spits at her.

Turning, she goes through the front door, and slams it after.

Faith, puzzled and somewhat taken aback, wanders over to the dining room.

Joyce looks at her, and waves to the chair next to her.

"Sit down, Faith. Please?"

Faith, feeling a little stunned, complies. She looks at the ring on her finger.

" Faith, honey, I'm not saying your wrong, but I know Buffy pretty well. She doesn't take stuff. Are you sure the ring was in your jewelry box?"

" Yeah. Well, pretty sure. Damn, now I'm not so sure, " Faith looks at the front door. "She looked like she wanted to kill me. I mean, literally."

Joyce looks at Faith's finger. " Is that the ring?"

" Yeah…" Faith seems distracted.

" Can I see it?"

" Huh?" She turns to Joyce, " sure." She takes it off and hands it to her.

" Oh. Oh dear."

Joyce hands the ring back to Faith.

" Faith, come with me, please."

" Huh? Why?"

" Just come, ok?"

Faith, puzzled, follows her upstairs to Buffy's room.

" Whoa, should we be going in there?" Faith asks, stopping at the door.

" My house, Faith. I have snooping privileges."

" Joyce, you mean you snoop?" Faith gets a little blush. " I'm hoping you haven't been looking through my drawers?"

" No, dear. You're safe, I only snoop through Buffy's room. I mean, how'm I going to know anything that's going on if I don't?"

Faith doesn't really have an answer for that one.

" Well.. uh… don't think I want to come in, if that's ok, " Faith says, still feeling some weirdness from last night.

" Don't be silly, Faith. I need to show you something."

" That's ok, I can wait here, thanks."

"Faith, dear, you were in here last night.

_Yeah, and that turned out so well._

" So was Buffy," Faith answers, " kinda feel like I'm invading her space, you know?"

Joyce sighs. " Just come in, Faith, please? It's kind of important."

" Ok, ok…" Faith goes in, feeling all those vibes from last night hitting her again.

Joyce goes over to Buffy's jewelry tree, and looks. She frowns, then opens her jewelry box. She digs around a little, and pulls something out.

The exact duplicate of Faith's ring.

" Huh?" She looks on her finger, then at the ring Joyce is holding, then back.

" Buffy's had this for years. Angel gave it to her. And you're in Dawn's old room. I loved Dawn, but she had a habit of ' borrowing' Buffy's things, especially jewelry. I think Buffy saw this on your floor, figured Dawn had taken it, and pocketed it. Then, when she went to put it away found her own…"

" And was embarrassed to give it back. " Faith sits on the bed. " Damn."

Joyce returns Buffy's ring to her box. She turns back to Faith.

" Faith? What's going on?"

" Going on?"

" Between you and Buffy. Did you have a fight? I've been in warmer meat lockers than the dining room was this morning."

" Maybe you should talk to Buffy about it?" Faith tries to wriggle out of having to say anything.

" My daughter? The I don't tell my mother anything Buffy? That one?"

Faith winces._ Ok, not getting out of this clean._

" Well…not a fight exactly, Mrs. … er… Joyce. Just… it's really something I can't talk about, you know?"

" Great. I have two clamshells living under the roof, and both seem to be angry with the other. How did I get so lucky?"

" I'm sorry, Joyce. It's just something happened, and there were misunderstandings and well, it's kind of personal, you know?"

Joyce thinks about it a minute, remembering the scene she walked in on last night, and how both girls looked embarrassed and flustered and somewhat flushed, and little blocks started falling in place.

" Oh. OH!" She looks at Faith, quizzically. " Oh?"

" Mrs. … Joyce, I think I need to catch up to Buffy. Apologize, you know?" Faith is making a break for the door.

" Faith? Do we need to have a little chat?"

" Uhhh… " Faith is at the door, " not really… nothing happened…"

Before Joyce can say anything more, she's disappeared out the door.

Joyce stands puzzled a moment, then starts to follow. By the time she hits the hallway, however, she hears the front door slam. She stands there, thinking about last night. Her face grows more confused.

" I don't think I understand, " She says to herself as she head for the stairs.

" I don't think I want to, either."

4

Faith strides quickly toward the Magic Box, caught in a web of confusion and conflict.

_I blew it. I really blew it! You'd think I'd remember what being made the bad guy for nothing was like. But what do I do? I go and accuse her of stealing my ring without even being sure. Good one, Faith. Dumbass much? Why didn't she fight back? Why'd she just run away? Buffy … the Buffy I knew… wouldn't just cave. Not on something important. What's that about?_

Faith shakes her head. It's all too much for her. She doesn't need this crap. Never mind being in Buffy's room brought back all that stuff from last night. Now, on top of being pissed off, then contrite because she jumped to conclusions, she feels horny all over again. _Dammit!_

Last night… she just can't get that image of Buffy from last night out of her mind. It's like it's burned in her brain. _Who the hell was that? Not shy little Buffy. Buffy who bats her eyes and is all kitten like and Ms. Sweet and innocent around guys. God. _Faith wasn't used to that. Faith was very much used to being in the saddle, in the driver's seat, whatever, but being in control. Making things happen. Making guys want her. Want. Take. Have. Get what she wants, and get out. In short, being on top.

But last night, she wasn't in control. She wasn't driving. Buffy was. From the second she entered that room, Buffy was pulling the strings and weaving the net. Buffy had the reigns, was circling her like a shark, she was…playing her, making her feel more and more like the little bird circled by the cobra's coils. She pushed her buttons, and pushed her on the bed, and climbed on top. Buffy was on top.

_And I liked it. I liked being the one pursued, hunted and caught. God, I never thought I'd want to be on bottom… but damn, she made me want to be there. What the hell did she do to me? _

It had scared her. She'd never run into such raw aggression before. Not if she wasn't doing it. She wasn't used to going with the flow. Hell, she MADE the flow. And now someone else, the LAST person in the world she expected it from, threw a Tsunami and her, and she panicked.

Bad.

And now she wanted to drown in that wave again, and had zero clues how to get back there. And wanting to get back there?

_Scary. Major scary._

_And so fucking hot!_

5

Rupert Giles is going over his accounts book when the little bell over the door rang.

He looks and smiles when he sees Faith stride over to the counter. He closes the book and moves towards her.

" Well, good morning Faith. How can I help you? Love spell? Witching potion? Maybe I can turn you into a toad?"

Faith gives him an odd look then chuckles.

" Funny. Gee, that's what now? Two jokes since I've been back? Not sure I can handle Funny Giles." Faith cracks.

" Ah, yes. My wit. So under appreciated," Giles says dryly. " So, what can I do for you?"

"Actually, was looking for Buffy. She here?" Faith looks towards the back room.

" Oh, yes, Buffy," Giles looks pained. " Yes, she's in the back room. Training, she said."

" She said?"

" Well, she went back there. And there was noise, quite a lot of it, actually. I'm not sure it was all about training, however. She seemed somewhat upset," Giles looks at Faith. " Know anything that might have upset her?"

Faith blushes slightly. " Well, we might have had a little disagreement…"

" Yes, I see. You might not want to go back there until she's cooled off"

There's a crash from the other room.

" I would say, that hasn't happened quite yet."

Faith looks at the back curtain, hesitating. " No, I got to go back, and fix this. Anyway, what can she do to me? She's just a girl now…"

" Ummm… well, I don't know about that. I went back when the noise started. She's a lot stronger than she looks, Faith. The room is… well, I'll let you see for yourself."

" Really?" Faith arches a brow. " Maybe that's what she needs. A little fire in the belly."

" Pardon?"

" Well, we've all been treating her like this delicate flower, and god if she hasn't been wilting right along with. Maybe getting her pissed isn't such a bad thing."

" I see. Exactly what got her… pissed, as you put it?"

" I sorta … well, accused her of taking something of mine, and ummm… well, we kinda had words, and she stormed out. Then I found out maybe it didn't exactly happen that way…"

" What exactly do you think she took?"

Faith holds up her hand, showing the ring.

" I see… and she admitted taking it?"

" Actually, she said she found it. But I swear I had it in my jewelry box …"

Giles looks at her calmly.

" Ok, ok, maybe not. I remember taking it off when I got to Sunnydale, because I didn't want to lose it. But I thought I put it in the box. Maybe I checked on it when I moved into Joyce's , and I forgot to put it back…"

" So she might have found it, like she said?"

" Maybe, " Faith says in a low voice.

" Can I see that again?"

Giles looks at it. " Yes, a Claddah ring. I think Angel gave Buffy one of those for her 17th birthday… oh, and that was just before they… hmmm… and then he changed back into Angelus, and … I don't recall her wearing that much, of late."

" Joyce showed me hers. I didn't know Angel gave it to her…" She frowns. " He gave me this. It's a friendship ring, he said."

" Depends on how it's worn. Crown towards the wearer indicated fidelity and friendship. Heart side indicates the wearer belongs to somebody. Usually the giver."

She looks at her hand, and blanches. She's wearing it heart side in.

" Oh god, " She quickly takes it off and reverses it. " Wish he'd told me that." Faith sighs. " Oh, man, I didn't know Angel had given her one. She probably thought it was hers…at least, that's what Joyce thinks… and it brought up some bad memories… I'm sure… and when I accused her of stealing it… oh, crap."

There are a few more crashes from the back room.

" I better fix this." Faith doesn't look happy.

" Maybe you should wait awhile?"

" No… might not be a good idea for her to be this upset when we go out. Don't think she's going to get over it by…" CRASH"… working it out."

Giles sighs. " Just be careful, Faith. There are some throwing weapons back there."

Faith winces a little. She pulls back the curtain, and exits.

6

The backroom was a mess.

Various weapons had been pulled off the wall, lying now in heaps on the floor. The staking dummy had half a dozen stakes in it, and was laying on the floor, it's back support at a weird angle. The knife target actually had a few knifes in it. Most however, were sticking out of the wall around it. The vaulting horse was overturned, laying in the center of the floor.

Buffy herself was by the punching bag, pummeling it and kicking it. She was red faced and panting, but kept it up.

Faith lets out a whistle.

" Whirlwind Buffy has landed." She shakes her head.

Buffy looks up, stares at Faith briefly, and then goes back to punching the bag. Her punches become harder, more focused. She ignores Faith, kicking and punching the large bag.

" Hey, Buffy. Think we can talk?"

Bam, bam, bam.

" No"

Bam, bam, bam.

" We really have to talk about this morning, Buff." Faith walks over to her, carefully skirting the downed equipment.

Bam, bam, bam.

" No, we really don't. Oh? Wait! Did something else go missing? Gee, Faith, sorry, I was here hitting things. Sorry, have to look somewhere else for the klepto."

Bam, bam, bam.

" Look, Buffy, I'm sorry. I might've got it wrong, ok? Ok, I got it wrong. You're mom showed me your ring…"

" What?" Buffy stops hitting the bag. " you were in my room? Oh, that's good. You make a deal about me being in _your _room, but it's just ok for you to go in mine." She hits the bag. " Well, who cares, anyway? It's just crazy girls room, right?" Bam. BAM BAM!

Faith grabs the bag, stopping it from moving. Buffy keeps hitting it.

" Buffy, stop and talk to me!"

" Screw you, Faith"

BAM.BAM. BAM,BAM.BAM!

Faith comes around, grabbing her wrists. Buffy struggles, but can't free herself.

" Let me go!" Buffy yanks at her arms, trying to get away.

" No, we need to talk. Talk to me."

"DAMNIT LET ME GO!" Buffy brings her knee up, hitting Faith right above the groin. Faith lets go, falling back.

" Damn," Faith groans, holding herself. "That's some quality rage you got going there, B. Shit!"

" Rage? You want RAGE?" Buffy loses it, starting in on her.

She punches and kicks Faith, forcing her back and away. Faith starts to block her, but doesn't really fight back. She just keeps Buffy from landing too many blows.

" FIGHT ME , DAMNIT, HIT BACK, HIT BACK" Buffy screams at her, her fists pummeling Faith's arms. " QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME! YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME! STOP TREATING ME LIKE THIS!"

Buffy brings her feet into it, kicking at Faith's hips and legs. Faith tries to block them, and Buffy, seeing an opening, brings her fists hard on Faith's ears, boxing them.

"GODDAMMIT!" Faith yells. Without thinking, she backslaps Buffy full strength, knocking her halfway across the room. Buffy hits the floor, and slides, finally stopped by the overturned vaulting horse. She sits there, red faced, pounding her fists on the tumbling mat.

Faith goes over to her, standing over her. She offers her a hand.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry, but fuck you hit me hard on the ears. That really hurt… "

" Just go away," Buffy says, flatly. " Can't you just leave me alone?"

" Buffy, we have to talk…"

"About what, Faith?" Buffy sounds hopeless. "You were right. It wouldn't work. So, lets just stick to the plan. I'll show you the nests, we'll clean them out, and then I don't want to see you anymore. Or any of you. I think I'll just go away. I'm tired of being a freak . Everybody's joke." She waves her away, pulling herself up.

" Buffy, c'mon. Don't be that way."

" What way, Faith? What am I doing wrong now?"

" Not wrong, just acting all hurt…"

" WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO FEEL, FAITH?" Buffy screams at her. " WHAT?" She grips her fists, trying to regain control. " You accuse me of being a thief, and you treat me like a fucking WHORE! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL?"

Faith stares at her. _What the hell is she talking about?_

" God, I was only goofing on you, Faith. I just wanted to see how'd you react to how I was dressed. God, I didn't realize it'd affect you like that. And then, I got turned on. Because you didn't look at me like a piece of poop the dog left on the rug, but like a girl. A real girl, something desirable and wantable. God I needed that so fucking badly. So I came on to you, ok. Maybe , no… really bad idea. But I did it. And holy shit, if you weren't getting hot. And DON'T TELL ME YOU WEREN'T!…"

" I was, " Faith shrugs.

" OK, " Buffy says, a little fire taken out by the admission. " And I really got horny, and hey, sue me, I'm human, ok? So I wanted you. Is that so fucking bad? And despite your acting all jittery, I knew you wanted me too. And hey, that felt REALLY good. And then I wanted to make YOU feel really good, so I jumped your bones. Or tried, until my mom shows up. But you were sure not fighting it too much, I don't think. But shoot, mom shows up, and you're outta there. I've never seen someone run away so fast. You couldn't WAIT to get away from me. Wanna know how that felt? Do you?"

Faith does answer.

Buffy slaps her, hard.

"GEEZE, B!" Faith rubs her face.

" Like that. it felt just like that. you couldn't have hurt me more. But do you give a crap? Shit now. God, I throw myself at you, I practically beg you to come back, and you can't …. GOD, Why am I EVEN TALKING TO YOU?"

She turns around and starts walking away.

Faith runs after her, grabbing her in a bear hug. Buffy struggles to get away.

" No, B. Don't walk away. Talk to me, please."

"Why, what's the point? You're repulsed by me, why talk? I get it!"

" God, no way I'm … that kiss, the one at the door? Shit I thought I was gonna cum in my pants that was so hot!"

Buffy starts to tingle._ Cum in her.. oh …_

" Really?" She almost whispers, and stops struggling.

" Oh god, yeah. That …my god I thought…"

Then Buffy stiffens. " Oh yeah, it was hot. So hot that the next time you saw me, you tried to break through a wall getting away from me!" She starts struggling again.

" Buffy stop struggling, I'm not letting you go, so just stop it!"

Buffy slumps, defeated. But having Faith's arms around her, really getting those low down tickles going.

" Buffy, I'd just had a bad dream, and I was still freaked."

" Don't lie to me, Faith. I saw you recognize me, you knew it was me, but you still kept trying to get away.´ _And covering that body of yours, I saw that!_

" You were in the dream, Buffy."

" Oh, nice. I'm your nightmare now. Thanks, Faith, I feel so much better now!"

" SHUT UP AND LISTEN, B!" Faith yells at her. Then her voice drops. " You were the good part of the dream…"

" Good part?" Buffy asks. _Good part?_

" I was lying naked in a field somewhere…"

_Oh, man. Tingle moment!_

"… and then you showed up, surprisingly, also naked…"

_Tingle, tingle, and oooh… tingle…_

" … and B? You're really hot naked. At least in my head you are…"

_I'm hot? She thinks I'm hot! Oh … another big tingle!_

"… and then you straddle me, and give me another one of those cum in my pants kisses…."

_Keep this up, and it'll be me … oh shit!_

"… and then, were not in the field, but in this big comfy bed and you're… oh… ok, really don't want to think too much about that unless I start… well, you're doing these really wonderful things to me…"

_Heh, heh, heh. I'm so bad, yeah!_

" … and then Willow appears…"

_Huh?_

" Huh?"

" I dunno. She appeared next to me, dressed up in this kinky slave costume and she said I was her pet, and you gave her to me."

_How the heck did that … _

" Well, was it like hot?" Buffy asks, sounding perturbed.

" Uhhh… don't really know… well, yeah, because while you were like doing me down there, she started kissing me and fondling my boobs."

_Ok, that could be major hot. Damn!_ Buffy feels herself getting damp.

" But … I was so far gone, I didn't really think anything about it… and then ok you made me way gone!"

_Hee, hee, hee_

"And now the weird part started happening. Willow stopped kissing me, and she said something… what was it? … something like " Beware, she's not what she seems to be…" or something like that, and I look down at you and fuck you turn into a vampire… and she turns into a vampire, and you both bite me! And god I started screaming…"

Buffy stiffens in her arms. She brings her foot down hard on Faith's.

Faith yells, lets her go and grabs her foot.

" God, what the hell?" She rubs her foot.

" Figures, just figures. DAMMIT. Even in your fucking wet dreams, I'm a fucking MONSTER!" Buffy throws up her hands and walks away from Faith. "MONSTER, MONSTER, monster…" Buffy trails off. She turns around, her face looking crumpled. " Well, why not. I was one, wasn't I? And I deserved it, all of it. God." She seems to lose everything, and sits heavily on the floor. " It was my fault, all my fucking fault".

" Buffy, that's crazy talk, " Faith comes over, kneeling beside her. " That's ridiculous."

" Really, Faith? How do you know? How do you know what happened?"

" I know Spike kidnapped you and turned you…"

" He didn't kidnap me… I mean, not like you think. Not like I was walking around and he captured me."

" Buffy, you're not making a lot of sense here. What do you mean?"

" Do I have to draw you a picture?" Buffy voice goes hollow, " god, I can't say it…"

" Say what? What the hell are you talking about? I'm really lost here ."

" No, never mind, forget it." Buffy starts to get up, but Faith pulls her back down.

" No, I don't think so. You don't start talking like this without explaining it. It just doesn't make any sense. What do you mean, Spike didn't capture you?"

" Noooo…" Buffy seems to withdraw into herself.

" Buffy, don't you go away from me. You tell me!" Faith shakes her.

Something snaps in Buffy. She turns and yells at Faith.

" I WAS FUCKING SPIKE, OK?"

7

Faith feels like she's been slapped. She lets go of Buffy, and backs away. She feels her stomach turn over.

" Fucking… Holy crap, B. What is it with you and vampires ? Angel I can kinda get… but Spike? You were … and Spike was…?"

"Shit, Faith. It wasn't _anything_ like Angel. I didn't love Spike… he made me sick!"

" and yet, you opened your thighs to him…"

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!

" STOP SLAPPING ME!" Faith yells at her.

" THEN STOP MAKING OUT LIKE I'M SOME KIND OF WHORE!"

" Well, B… If it walks like a duck and fucks like a …"

SLAP!

" You don't know what it was like!" Buffy hisses at her. " You've got no fucking idea what it was like…!"

SLAP!

"OW!" Buffy rubs her cheek.

" Then tell me what it was like, and STOP HITTING ME!"

Buffy's voice goes lifeless, as if all the energy has been drained.

" When Dawn died… I thought I was going to die too… I don't know if you can understand it, but the monks…they made Dawn out of me, using a part of me to create her. She… she was like my baby, Faith. My child. When I held her… god, it was like holding myself. It … I loved her so much, and it was weird, because I didn't want anything back. It just made me happy to hold her and love her…"

" I watched her die, Faith, watched her jump in that energy thing, and I couldn't stop her… and when she died… it was like my whole world blew up… I had this fucking huge hole in me… and nothing could fill it, or make it better, and it ached oh god how it ached…"

" I felt like all I wanted to do was cry. Cry and die, and I couldn't do either…and then something in me snapped. And… god. I just stopped feeling. Anything…"

" Buff…" Faith reaches for her, but Buffy pushes her away.

" No. No, no comfort. I don't deserve it." She huddles herself away from Faith." It was like being dead. But you're not dead, you're walking around, and people expect you to ' get over it' but you can't, you just can't. But then they act funny, and stop wanting to be around you, and so you pretend to be over it, but you're not because inside you feel nothing…just empty." Buffy shudders. " There's nothing worse than feeling nothing, Faith. It's like…being numb, head to toe, all the time…"

"And then one night I was beating on Spike for something … I don't remember what… and I hit him, and he hit me…and then he did the whole " The Pain, the Pain " routine, grabbing his head. And then we were glaring at each other… and then something happened and we weren't fighting anymore. We were clawing at each other, but not because we were fighting. We were trying to get each other naked… and then we were on the ground … and… well, you can kinda guess what happened…"

Faith shudders.

" But I felt something, at last! Really felt something. Pure lust or hate or disgust or all three together but I felt it…and I craved feeling it… so… it kept happening. I kept coming back, and it got worse and worse because Spike? Sick bastard. And Buffy? EVEN SICKER BITCH! God I craved it, wanted it, needed it. Anything to feel again…"

" It just kept getting worse. More perverse. I needed it to, because just regular fucking wasn't doing it anymore. We did things to each other that make me sick now, but then I craved it… and my brain must've been shut off, because if I'd been thinking, I would've realized that something was wrong. He shouldn't have been able to do those things to me … but I didn't care then , I just needed more and more…"

" And after each time I was so disgusted with myself I swore I didn't want to see him again, and I told him that, and told him to get lost…and I'd keep coming back, wanting more, needing more. God, I think I was sicker than he was…"

" And then one day I quit. I don't even remember what, but something we did revolted me so much I just couldn't do it anymore. I started hitting him, beating on him to drive him away. I screamed at him, telling him never to get close to me again, I never wanted to see him again and all the rest."

" And I quit. It hurt, and was hard, but I did it. I … still was dead, but I didn't feel like I was …god, is there worse than dead? Because that's how he made me feel…"

" But Spike just thought it was part of the game. When I didn't come to him, he came to me. And I drove him off, telling him I hated him and didn't want him, but he kept at it…and then one night, I think mom was out of town at some buying thing… he caught me in the back yard and tried to rape me…"

" Buffy, god…" Again, Faith tries to hold her, but Buffy scoots away.

" No… god, I said tried… it started out that way, but then I gave in. I was alone, and feeling lost… and I … oh god, I gave in… and he… and then he… oh god…."

" But he'd learned. He learned really well. And he knocked me out, somehow…and next thing I know I wake up, tied up…and then the torture began…"

Buffy briefly describes what Spike did to her for five days before turning her. Faith feels she wants to vomit.

Ashen face, she turns when she hears the sob. Buffy is rolled up in a ball, crying her heart out, shaking.

"My fault, all my fault… oh god why…my fault.." She keeps saying over and over.

" No, baby, no," Faith goes to her, gathering her in her arms. She holds her like a child while Buffy cries and shudders. "Shhh, it's ok now, it's ok…"

She holds Buffy in her lap while she cries, caressing her hair and back.

" I deserved it, Faith? Don't you see? It was my punishment… for letting that monster do those things to me… and wanting him to. I deserved it all, what I … I'm the monster. I'm evil and ugly and a monster…"

" No, Buffy. He raped you. You had a moment of weakness, but he used that… and he tortured you and raped you again and again… no Buffy. Don't. You didn't deserve that… " She rocks her gently. " You were a victim, Buffy… same as if he'd kidnapped you… don't…please don't do this to yourself."

"I did, Faith… I … oh god… I gotta help… I've got to do something to … I've got to make it right… oh, god I don't ever think I can make it right…" She clings to Faith's lap.

" Shhh… maybe not… but you've just got to do your best, every day. And it'll get better, it will. I promise." She leans over and kisses Buffy's head. "It'll get easier…"

Buffy hauls herself out of Faith's lap. She smiles embarrassedly, and then rubs her eyes with her arm.

" God, I'm such a baby," She half smiles. " Sorry."

" Buffy, don't. You've been through hell. It's good to… let it out" Faith comes over to her, touching her skin. Buffy shudders.

_God, her touch is like electricity,_ Buffy thinks to herself.

Buffy turns around, and looks deeply into Faith's eyes.

Faith looks back. _God her eyes are huge… and god I so could get lost in there… _

And then Buffy is closer… closer… and their lips meet.

Buffy's arms slide around Faith's neck, and Faith loses herself in the soft kiss.

Both sink to the mat, and the kiss continues.

Buffy crawls on top of Faith, and continues kissing her. Her hands slide under Faith's wife beater, and she gently squeezes Faith's breast.

Faith panics.

" Buffy, stop. Please… Buffy… stop." She gently pushes her away.

Buffy's face falls, and she starts to get off. Faith grabs her, holding her on.

" No, Buffy, I'm not rejecting you. I'm… just not ready. Not yet. I won't lie, you made me so hot last night… and I want you, I do. But … it's still so new to me… I need a little more time, ok? I promise… but just a little time?"

_When, when, when, when?_ Buffy thinks impatiently. _WHEN?_

She smiles softly at Faith, touching her cheek. " I understand. This is new to you. I don't want to rush you. I want it right… perfect." She leans over, and kisses Faith softly on the lips. She whispers to her. " Soon."

Faith looks at Buffy's angelic face looking down at her, her cloud of golden hair backlit, and she wonders why she's being such so …resistant.

_Am I a moron, or what? God, I've got to be…_

Buffy gets up, and gives Faith her hand. Faith grabs it, and pulls herself up, almost pulling them both over again.

_And would that have been bad?_ Faith muses. And sighs.

" Shit! " Buffy curses, looking around. " I've made a mess of the place. I'm such a brat sometimes."

" I'll help you get it cleaned up."

" No, that's ok. I made the mess, I'll clean it up," Buffy sighs heavily." So, we start today then?"

" You sure you want to? I mean…"

" Faith, not a child. I can handle it."

" Ok, ok" Faith raises her hands. " Later, B."

" Later, Faith," Buffy moves to the debris as Faith exits through the curtains. When she knows Faith is gone, she starts singing a little song to herself.

_"One way or another I'm gonna find ya_

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha

One way or another I'm gonna win ya

I'm gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha"

She giggles to herself.

8

The next 2 weeks were golden for Buffy.

She got to spend _lots_ of time with her ' goddess', and she was winning her over. Slowly, gradually, but it was happening. They still hadn't ' done it', but they were getting closer. Much closer. The kisses were lengthening, and the making out was getting hotter, and heavier. And Faith was getting more used to the idea that her partner didn't have to shave , well, her face anyway.

She helped Faith with cleaning out the nests in the town… mostly ones she would've done herself as a vampire, anyway.

Faith was more and more impressed by Buffy. Even without slayer powers, she was still pretty strong and fast. And, she used her experience to keep out of trouble. Mostly, anyway. And the few times she had to step in, she just took on a little too much. Not anything Faith could really dun her one, and actually, she was impressed by her guts, all considered. She didn't wig, she didn't space, and Faith had to admit, it was good having her along.

Faith wanted to get Buffy something a little special. Kind of a reward for doing well. But she was broke. She already felt guilty about sponging off Joyce, and really didn't want to explain what the money was for. And she didn't want to ask Giles for the same reason. Finally, she hit her little jewelry box, and opened it.

She fingered through the contents, not very much, and then picked out her best piece. It was a small gold necklace with a diamond ruby cluster. Not big stones, not worth a lot, but she really liked it. She looked it, and sighed, and then looked at the rest of the stuff she had. And knew that this was really the only decent piece she had. She pocketed it, and going out, went to the hock shop

After some major dickering, she sold it. She saw a nice little silver cross in the case, and bought that for Buffy. _She lost hers when spike turned her. _Still having some money, and seeing a second cross, she bought it for herself.

She went to the jewelers down the street, and had each cross engraved. One with an " F ", one with a " B ". She slipped hers on, and cadging a jewel box out of the jeweler, put Buffy's in the box. She looked at it on the velvet lining, and smiled. _Not bad. Looking good._ Closing the box, she slipped it in her pocket. She planned on giving it to her tonight.

Buffy leads Faith up to a two story house on a residential street, and nods towards it.

" Here?" Faith looks at the house. It looks like any of the other houses on the block.

" Here," Buffy confirms.

" You sure? I mean, it looks just like every other house on the street…"

" Faith, have I misled you up to now?" Buffy points at the house." Look at the windows. The shades are all drawn , and so are the curtains."

" So? Maybe they're keeping the heat out…"

" And, maybe, the sunlight?" Buffy arches a brow.

" Ok, ok… still…"

" If you look in back, Faith, you'll see a pair of storm doors leading into the cellar… kind of a private entrance and exit for the 'guests'. They mostly live in the huge underground basement. Not a thing you usually find in a Californian suburban house."

" Still, " Faith looks at the house, " it doesn't look run down or abandoned. And Vamps aren't known for their ' home improvement' skills. Plus, not into buying real estate… well, except Dracula, maybe…"

" Maybe because they don't. The owner takes care of the place. He's a blood doll."

" A who what?"

" Blood doll"

" Is that like Ken and Barbie, with fangs?"

" Funny, Faith. No, a blood doll is kind of…well, special thing in the vampire culture."

" Oh, great. Another vampire civics lesson. You know, I dropped out of high school for a reason."

Buffy ignores the crack. " A blood doll is a human that has a ' relationship' with a vampire. Don't ask me, I don't get it either. But some humans are really attracted to the culture, and for some reason or another, a vamp takes them on. It's more a fetish thing, I guess. The vamp takes little bites out of the doll, the doll gets a little vampire blood, all really kind of sick. But then, you'd have to be kind of sick to get into it anyway, so it works out I guess, " Buffy shrugs, " Anyway, the dolls are usually in thrall to their ' master', and do their bidding. That's the case here. The Blood doll paid to have the doors installed in back, the basement expanded and fixed up, and keeps the house and yard up. I guess some idiots would do anything to be with a vampire. Me, I don't get it. Anyway, the arrangement with this particular one is he also is an early warning system, to keep the nest safe."

" Still not getting it. Why would vamps want to live here? Not like a crypt, or abandoned building, or anything. I don't get it."

" Geeze, Faith, you channeling Giles now? "Where's the standards. Any self respecting demon would want to live in a pit of filth or a nice crypt."? Give me a break. Having been undead, I know. Rat infested warehouses? Drafty crypts? Get old after awhile. I was actually down in that nest. Pretty sweet set up, if you can stand the company." She looks towards the house, and pulls Faith into some bushes.

" Geeze. Buffy! Can't you wait til we're off duty to grope me?" Faith teases her.

"Funny, Faith, but there was someone looking out through the windows, and I didn't want to get him suspicious". She looks back towards the house. " Ok, looks clear. Stay here."

" Why?"

" Cuz I'm gonna have a little talk with Mr. Doll."

" Oh good, let's just tell the vamps we're coming, B. Maybe they'll throw us a party."

" Don't be a dope, Faith. I was a vamp, remember? I was pretty well known. Maybe seeing me in the daylight will startle him enough so I can get the drop on him. Otherwise, he's going to warn the nest we're around… and then it's burn it down. Wanna explain that to the Sunnydale P.D?"

" Ok, just be careful, ok? Not looking to have to stake you."

" Don't be an idiot. If it blows up, I'm the first outta here. The vamps in this town aren't loving me too much lately."

" Maybe because you've been ruining their nests?"

" Maybe, " Buffy winks. " Stay here. Keep low. I'll be back in a few… and if I'm running, run!"

" Huh? Just a human."

" He's into guns. Big guns."

" Oh…"

Buffy emerges from the bushes, and walks up to the door. She pounds on it, confidently.

The door opens, and the Blood doll stands there, looking at her.

" Uh-uh," Buffy says, grabbing him by the throat. She hauls him outside." I know your tricks, Leonard."

There's the clatter of metal on the floor.

" What do you want? My master is really pissed at you!"

" Oh, how quaint!" Buffy sneers at him, " Guess what? I'm really pissed at him too! Didn't like what he did in my club the other night, or that he roughed up my pets."

" They had it coming…"

BAM!

" Wrong answer, Leonard." Buffy slams him against the wall of the house. " Now, sweetie, here's the deal. You're master? History. He's going down. Today. Now."

" I'll warn him. He'll make blood pie out of you!"

" Really? Now, is that gonna be before or after I break you're neck?" She squeezes hard on his windpipe. She holds it until he starts turning a lovely shade of purple. " Now, I don't think I heard you?"

" Aaacck"

" Ok, well, I'll give you a break, this once, considering. But, you're not going to be a snitch now, are you?"

Leonard stares at her.

She punches him in the stomach.

"Are you, honey?"

Leonard shakes his head.

" There's a good boy," She pats his cheek. " Now, I know that throat of yours? Really has to be hurting pretty badly, right?"

Leonard nods.

" Good, now. I'm thinking, why don't you go for a drink?"

" I can't. The Master, he'd…"

" Honey, you're not the sharpest knife in the drawer, are you? The Master? In about ten minutes or less, is gonna be Hoover material, along with his cronies. Now, if you still want to stick by him, fine. I'll just snap you're neck now. Or, you can go for that drink. What do you think?"

Leonard smiles sickly. " I am kind of thirsty…"

Buffy releases him. " That's a good boy."

" But… what'll I do without my Master?"

" Well, since you're being such a good pet, would you like a new mistress?" Buffy smiles at him.

" I don't know…"

" I'd be ever so grateful, stud like you. And believe me, there's lots of boys to play with at my club." Buffy licks her lips. " And, there just happens to be one my collars with your name on it at the door. And maybe, if you're a really good boy, we'll talk about making you…"

" Really?" Leonard's eyes light up. " Make me? For real?"

" Of course, nice little pet like you, " She caresses his face. " So? What do you say?"

" Thank you!"

She grabs his ear and twists it.

" I'm sorry, I didn't hear that?"'

" Thank you, mistress" He groans.

" Good boy." She smiles. " Now, go have that drink, what say?"

" Yes…Mistress, " He adds, as he sees her reaching for him again. He walks down the walk and away from the house.

Buffy chuckles. " What a moron. Oh well, my girls will have a nice dinner tonight." She smiles. She walks down the stairs.

" Buffy!" Faith hisses at her from behind the bushes." What's the deal? He's walking away."

" I had a nice little chat with him. Showed him the errors of his ways."

Faith looks at her puzzled.

" Trust me, honey, he won't be back until it's over."

" Buffy…" Faith sounds unconvinced.

" Aw, don't get frowny face on me," Buffy cups her face and gives her a light kiss on the lips. _Mmm, nice!_

_God, how she can just play me,_ Faith sighs, enjoying the kiss.

" Now, babe. Let's go party!"

9

The music in the Bronze is loud and fast.

Buffy and Faith, on the dance floor, are burning up the boards. They're holding hands, and dancing together. Both are laughing and look excited.

" Did you see how that one lit up like a torch when I threw back the doors?" Faith laughs,

" What a moron. Sleeping that close to the entrance." Buffy shakes her head. " But hey, cool move on that one that jumped down on me. Sorry I almost fucked up!"

" Hey, don't sweat it! Just look a little more carefully next time!" Faith smiles at her, then hip checks her. Buffy's eyes go wide, and she dances around, giving Faith a butt bump. Both girls laugh.

" That was pretty cool, remembering the panel behind the big screen TV? Got a few more dusted," Faith nods. " That was sweet, and the look on their faces when you slid back the panel. Wow!"

"Yeah, " Buffy laughs.

" That one looked like he wanted to kill you."

" He was the nest's master. We had a bit of a history, back in the day. Had to throw him out of my club a few times."

" Club?" Faith's eyes go wide. " you had a club?"

" Yeah, not a big, " Buffy says, " just a place for me and my 'friends' to hang out. Even let humans in, as long as they behaved."

" There's a lot I don't know about you, isn't there?" Faith frowns.

" Aw, honey, " Buffy swings around, throwing her arms around Faith's neck, " Is this all weirding you out, baby?" She nuzzles Faith's neck.

Faith definitely has a happy. _God, what is the spell this girl has on me?_

" No, I guess not. Maybe a little. But I'm just finding so much out about you… when you were … a vamp. God, that's still a weird one for me!"

" Was a vamp, honey, " Buffy snuggles closer, pressing herself against Faith as they dance. " Not now. I mean, don't I feel all nice and warm and soft?" She puts Faith's hand on her ass.

_Whoa! _Faith finds herself sweating a little as she feels Buffy's butt cheek moving under her hand.

" Ummm… think I need a break, Buff." Faith says.

Buffy looks into her eyes. " Aw, I'm sorry. I'm getting to frisky again, aren't I?" Buffy pouts. " I guess just dancing with you brings out the animal in me!" She growls playfully at her.

" You goof" Faith pushes her, and starts heading off the dance floor. Buffy catches up to her, and grabs her hand.

As they're walking to a table, they spot Willow sitting alone. She looks a little unhappy.

"Hey, there's Will, " Buffy says. " maybe we should go over and say hi."

" I dunno, B., " Faith catches Will's expression. " Maybe she wants to be alone."

" Faith? Alone and unhappy? Way overrated. I know, trust me. C'mon."

" Buff? Maybe we shouldn't be real like couple-y around her? You know?"

" You're right, " Buffy says, dropping her hand, " Anyway, are we a couple? I thought we were just friends..?"

" I don't know exactly what we are."

" Hey, don't sweat it Faith. Right now? Friends is just fine, you know? Maybe that'll all it'll ever be. But, nice to have a few extra privileges." Buffy reaches over , goosing Faith.

" God, you're grabby! Cute, but grabby!"

Buffy chuckles.

" Hey Will!" Buffy comes up behind Will, giving her a peck on the cheek.

" Hey, Buffy!' Willow says, brightening up.

" Hey, Red, " Faith says, patting her shoulder.

" Faith!" Willow looks up and smiles.

Buffy notices Willow turning on like a candle, and smiles. _Well, well, well_

"See, now didn't I tell you Faith? Will is happy to see us, aren't you Will?"

" You betcha, Buff. " She smiles at both of them. " Nice moves on the dance floor, by the way." She winks at Buffy.

" You were watching?" Buffy smiles. _Hmmmm._ " Well, you know me, Will. Get me dancing, and I get a little crazy."

" Little?" Faith grins.

" Watch it, smart ass!"

" So, Will, you've been hermit girl lately. Haven't seen you. What's the 411, girl?"

" Oh, been kind of busy. Looking for a day job and all. Kind of tough these days without a degree. At least, if you want something that pays anything like money."

" Day job? But, aren't you going to school during the days?"

" Buffy, sweetie. Tara's insurance is almost gone. I've got to bring her home, and I've got to have something that'll pay the bills and someone to watch her during the day. Night job? Just won't cut it."

" But it's school!" Buffy cries, " And you're like big brained girl. And you're close to your degree, aren't you?"

" Another year, yeah. But …" Willow sighs. " I don't have a choice, Buff. I gotta get something. It's life, you know? Sometimes it's kisses, sometimes it a good chop to the knees." She tries to smile, and fails.

" Don't worry, Red, it'll be ok. Maybe you can swing night school or something?"

" Maybe," Willow agrees, " I dunno. Still have Tara to be watched."

" Hey, no… this isn't right!" Buffy declares." How come nobody told me about this?"

" Buffy, honey, you've been busy… and you've been having your own problems," Willow says. " Don't worry, it'll work out."

" Yeah, B. I know you mean well, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, even if it sucks." Faith pats Willow's hand.

" Yeah? Well, … no!"

" Huh?" Both Faith and Willow say in unison.

" No! Look Will. Let me talk to mom. She knows bunches of people. And she's got some pull. Maybe she knows someone that can help, ok?"

" Buffy?" Willow looks at her, a little hope lighting in her eyes, " Do you really think so?"

" Well, yeah, girl. I know mom would want to help. I want to help. What about you, Faith? Wanna help?"

" You betcha, B, " Faith grins broadly. " That's really cool, Buff."

" Oh you know mom. Coolest mom ever. So, stop the mope, ok, Will?"

" Thanks, Buffy, " Willow hugs her. " I don't … god… thanks!"

" Hey, we're bestest buds, you know? That's what buds do, right?"

" Buffy, I don't know what to say…" Willow starts to tear up, " It's been so …"

" Now see what you did , Faith?" Buffy teasingly chides her, " You got her all weepy. Hey! " Buffy wipes a tear off Willow's cheek. " Just because you stopped moping, doesn't give you permission to get blubbery!" She gives her a little kiss on the cheek.

Willow smiles broadly.

"Now, that's what I like to see. One of those 1000 watts Willowosity smiles, you know? What do you think, Faith?"

" Gotta admit, pretty much brightens up the room." Faith gives Willow a hug.

"Hmmm… " Buffy says, staring over towards the exit.

" What?" Faith looks around.

" That guy… with the girl? Heading for the exit? Not thinking he's exactly tan friendly." Buffy stands up.

" Hey, B. I got it. " Faith starts to stand.

" No, I do." Buffy catches Faith's look . " Oh come on, it's one lousy vamp. Even this wimp can handle one lousy vamp, Faith."

" I dunno, B… you're not a …"

" Yes, I know, and thanks for the reminder. But I can handle this, MOM!" Buffy teases her." Look, if I'm not back in a few, check up on me, ok?"

" Buffy…" Willow starts.

" No time, guys. He's getting away. Be back"

With that, Buffy takes off into the crowd.

" You think she'll be ok?" Willow looks worried.

" Yeah, I do. I have to admit, these past two weeks? Major improvement in Buffy. She's been holding her own ok. And hey, If she's gone too long, I'll check her out. She'll be ok."

Willow shakes her head, and smiles. " Never thought I'd see the day I'd be worried about Buffy going after a vampire."

" Ok, you blood brains got it, now?"

" Sure, Mistress. We hold you, and when the slayer shows up, we all attack her. Got it."

" Very good, " Buffy nods. " Ok, you guys? Over in the shadows…" She indicates a corner. " Don't want her to see you until it's too late, right?"

" I don't get it. I mean, why the big charade, anyway?" One of the vampires speaks up. " Why don't you just bring her out here, and we jump her and kill her?"

" Who are you?"

" Martin."

" Ok, _Martin_, unlike you, the Slayer isn't a moron. She'd see through that in a second. But if she figures I'm in trouble, she'll charge in before thinking…"

" I still think it's a stupid plan!"

" Oh, you do?" Buffy's voice gets very cold. She walks over to Martin, and holds up a ring on her finger. She flicks button, and a wicked looking pin pops out. "What's that, Martin?"

" A ring with a pin in it. Real clever."

" And what do you think I have on the pin? Anyone?"

Murmurs and shrugs.

"Ever hear of Silverthorne?"

" Yeah, like in Fairy tales, " Martin laughs. " The stuff doesn't exist!"

" Is that a fact?" Buffy walks over, and grabs Martin's hand. She jabs it with the ring.

" Hey, what're you doing?" Martin's face clouds over. " I ought to…"

Buffy backs up a little.

Martin suddenly goes very pale, almost marble white. His skin seems to literally crawl, and his veins all start to throb and bulge. Then his head flies back, and flames shoot out of his mouth and eyes. In another second, he's a pile of ash.

" Anybody else have any questions? Comments?" Buffy looks around

None of the other vampires say a word.

" Ok, lets move it people. She'll be here any second!"

Three of the vampires move into the shadowed alcove. The other two grab her.

" Not so rough, boys!" She growls.

They loosen up a bit.

At that moment, the back door to the Bronze flies open. Faith comes out

Buffy struggles in the vampires' arms.

" HELP! FAITH!" She calls out.

" Holy shit! B! I'm coming!"

" Ok, let go now!" She orders the vamps.

" Huh?"

" Faith, watch out. There's more in the shadows!"

Faith halts, and look toward the alcove. The vamps there charge her.

" What the hell is going on?" One of the vamps holding her asks.

" Psyche!" Buffy says. She jabs one with the Silverthorne ring, and the other she pulls away form. A stake appears in her hands. She plunges it in.

" You fucking bitch! You betrayed us!' The vampire yells, as he crumbles to dust.

One of the other three breaks away, heading for Buffy. " We show you what we do to traitors!" He yells, grabbing Buffy.

Faith in the mean time, is fighting the other vamps. She roundhouse kicks one, knocking him into the wall. The other lunges at her, and she steps aside. Raising her stake, she brings it down on his back, dusting him. The other vampire, recovered, gets up and charges her. She does a twirling kick, knocking him back into the wall. She gets up on him, and grabbing his throat, holds him. She plunges the stake home, dusting him.

" FAITH! HELP!"

Faith turns, and sees Buffy struggling with the other vampire.

Buffy is sweating it now. This one is a lot stronger than she thought, and she can't get her ring free. Her arms are pinned up to the wall.

_Shit. Shit. Shit!_

" I'm so gonna love this!" The vampire goes for the bite, getting her neck.

And then, turns to dust. Faith is standing behind him, stake out.

Buffy, shaking, falls to the ground. She starts to cry.

" Buffy, god, are you alright?" Faith goes to her, helping her up.

Buffy clings to her, shaking and crying.

" Oh, god… F-Faith…they…were off my old crew…they … attacked me. Heard I was helping you…wanted revenge…they nearly killed me…" She clings tightly to Faith." If it hadn't…if you hadn't…"

" Shhh… shhh… it's ok, Buffy… you're safe now" Faith holds her.

" God, you saved me again!" Buffy starts covering her face with kisses. " If you hadn't come out… I'm so stupid… I'm such a fuck-up."

She kisses cheeks, eyes, ears and nose, then her lips fasten on Faith. She pushes her body up close to hers, wiggling a little.

" Buffy," Faith gently peels Buffy off herself, all the while feeling intense tingles from her overly warm kisses. " they're dust, you're ok."

" I'm just sooo scared," Buffy cries, clinging tightly." Please, hold me…. Don't let me go… I don't want to die! Please!"

Faith feels her heart get warm, seeing how much Buffy seems to need her. More, her shaking and rubbing against Faith are getting other organs warm.

Faith, in the grip of a major body tingle storm, holds her for a few minutes. Buffy begins to subside, and just holds on to Faith, rubbing her back and bottom, as if to assure herself Faith's real, and she's safe. At least that's how Faith takes it. _Though god, if she doesn't stop rubbing my ass…_ Faith definitely has the case of the pants.

" C'mon, Buff. We better get you back inside," Faith puts an arm around her shoulders.

" Yeah…I guess," Buffy sighs, and leans heavily into Faith.

They head towards the rear door of the Bronze.

_Nice work, guys,_ Buffy thinks, as they pass the dust piles.

Still clinging to Faith, she enters the Bronze.

10

" Buffy! What happened?"

Willow stands up when she sees Faith, Buffy clinging to her, walking back to the table.

" She was attacked in the alley, " Faith says,

" Oh Goddess. Buffy, are you alright, honey?" Willow goes over to her when she sits down, leaning heavily on the table. She's still shaking.

" Yeah… I guess… just it was so… scary," Buffy mumbles, looking at the table.

" Faith, what happened?"

" I went out, and a couple of vamps had her. A few more must've faded back into the shadows, waiting to jump me. Fortunately, Buffy warned me."

Buffy looks up, and smiles at Faith. Her lip is quivering.

Faith smiles back, but something just doesn't hit her right about that attack. It was just … _God, what're you doing? Buffy almost got killed, and you're getting paranoid? Get real!_

" T-Thank you F-Faith," Buffy says, still shaken. " I'd be s-so dead now if n-not for you!" Buffy grabs her hand, squeezing it.

Faith smiles, getting a little embarrassed at the clinging. She squeezes Buffy's hand back.

" Look, I got something for you…" She digs around in her pockets." Buff? Can I have my hand back for a second?"

" Oh!" Buffy blushes. "Sorry."

" It's ok, " Faith finally finds what she's looking for.

" I was going to give you this later, but maybe now would be better."

She hands Buffy a little box.

Buffy looks up at her, puzzled.

"For me?"

" Yeah, don't get crazy on me or nothing, " Faith gets dismissive, " just, well, I bought it for your protection…"

Buffy opens the box. Inside is a silver cross. At the crossbar is engraved a fancy " B". She looks up at Faith.

" For me?" Her expression gets soft.

" That's beautiful, Faith, " Willow nods. She looks at Faith. " Very nice!"

" It's so…pretty, " Buffy fingers it

" Don't get girly on me now," Faith growls, but it's obvious she's pleased by Buffy's reaction.

" Look, Will, she put my initial on it!" Buffy shows it to Will.

" Well, I didn't want it to get mixed up with mine," Faith grins, pulling out her own cross, which is exactly the same except for the initial.

" Huh?" Willow looks at them, a little confused.

" A little problem with a ring," Buffy says, smiling up at Faith. " over now."

" Oh, ok, " Willow is still confused.

"Its just so pretty, " Buffy sounds distant, maybe a little dreamy. She looks up at Faith, " Would you?" She lifts her hair in back.

" Oh geeze, Buff. Cripes," Faith says, embarrassed.

" Oh for goodness sakes!" Buffy says, exasperated. She turns to Willow. " Would you?"

" Sure, Buffy, " Willow takes the chain, and opening it, drapes it around Buffy's neck, She closes the clasps, and Buffy lowers her hair.

" So? What do you think?" Buffy asks Willow.

" It's pretty, Buffy." Willow looks up at Faith. " A very nice gift."

" I agree," Buffy grins, looking at Faith. " Too bad somebody's too butch to put it on."

"What?" Faith says, surprised.

" Sometimes, I swear Faith. You come off so butch!"

" Cripes, B." Faith lets out a breath. " You didn't seem to mind me being butch back in the alley there."

Buffy lowers her eyes and blushes. " I'm sorry." She says in a very tiny voice.

Faith can't help but smile. _God she's just so cute sometimes._

" C'mon, girly. We better get you home. I think you've had enough vamps for tonight."

" Ok, " Buffy says. " Wait. What about Will? I mean, I don't want her to be alone…it's not safe! What if they come after her?"

" Buffy, I'm fine! I brought my car, I'll be ok!"

" No, they might jump you when you're getting in it. No! I think we should stay together. At least going home!" Buffy sounds panicked.

" Buffy, don't be so silly. I'll be fine!"

" No, I want you to come with. Or we go with you. I don't want you to get attacked. " Buffy starts to shake. " If something happened to you, Will…"

She shakes harder, and her eyes get overly bright.

Willow looks at Faith, who shrugs a ' better not argue' to her.

" Ok, Buffy, If you'll feel better about it. I guess we'll all drive home in my car."

" I know I'm being a baby…"

" You got that right, B!" Faith teases her.

" Thanks for the support, there, _F_, " Buffy shoots back."… but I really would feel better knowing you're safe, Willow." Buffy nods towards Faith. " Her, I don't care!"

" Geeze. Thanks bunches, Buffy" Faith says , pretending to be mad. " Maybe I'll just take that back." She reaches for Buffy's cross.

" You do, and I'll … hit you!"

" I'm shakin "

" You two, " Willow laughs. " C'mon, we better go."

They all stand up.

" Faith? Ok, girly again, but could you go ahead and check the alley? Just to be sure?"

Faith looks at Buffy strangely. " Ok, B , " She says, walking ahead.

Buffy tugs on Willow's arm.

"What?" Willow asks.

" Honey, stop fighting me here. I'm trying to get Faith to take you home, and you're not making it easier!"

" Buffy?" Willow looks at her. "What's the what?" She asks suspiciously.

" Geeze, Will. Don't you remember what we talked about? Well, I've been trying to warm her up to the advantages of feminine company. And now, it's in your ballpark, hon. So, how 'bout you help and not hurt, ok?"

" Buffy!" Willow blushes. " you little devil!"

" Uh-huh!"

" You think she might?" Willow looks hopeful.

" Well, don't get too creamy on me honey, but I think you might get a goodnight kiss out of it. And NOT a peck on the lips."

" Buffy!… really?"

" Oh yeah."

" But, you two are looking kind of … couple-y" Willow says.

" What? Oh, you mean the dancing? No, shoot. Just kind of getting her used to having a woman touch her in a more than friendly way. We're just buds… ask her, she'll tell you."

" You're sure? I mean, if you're interested, I don't want to horn in…"

" Horn? Or horny?" Buffy teases her.

" Buffy Summers! You're just terrible!"

" uh-huh…and that's why you think I'm a hot piece of ass!"

" You're incorrigible!" Willow laughs. Then she reaches over, and pinches' Buffy's ass. " But I wouldn't mind biting that hot piece of ass!" She giggles.

" Willow Rosenberg… you dog! You…slut!" Buffy hugs her. " But, I think you need to bite another ass first, don't you?"

Willow turns beet red, and giggles.

Faith walks up, looking a little exasperated.

" Are you two EVER coming? Or you gonna gossip all night?"

Willow and Buffy look at each other, and giggle. Linking arms, they walk toward the exits.

" Girls" Faith shakes her head, following.

11

" Ok, you two, drive safe. And don't keep her out too late, Willow!"

Buffy chuckles, looking in through the passenger side of the car. Willow is at the wheel, and Faith is sitting there, alternately steaming and blushing.

" Oh, I promise, Buffy. I'll make sure she gets home early." Willow laughs.

" You two make me crazy!" Faith declares. " I swear, you're up to something!"

" Gee, Ethel, Ricky seems upset!" Buffy says.

" Hey, I wanted to be Lucy!" Willow pouts.

They laugh, and Faith sits there, shaking her head.

" I really don't see the point of this. She's in her car, and she doesn't live that far! I mean, I think she's safe now."

Buffy leans in on the car door, serious now.

" Please, Faith. I just got attacked tonight. I'd really feel better if I knew Willow got home safe. Do this for me, ok?" She gets a pouty lip and turns on the puppy eyes. " Please? Please, please, please?"

" Oh, Geeze," Faith growls, giving in. " Let's go, Red, before I blow up or something!"

"Aw, Faithy's all pissy," Buffy teases, " I guess, Will, you're just going to have to find a way to give her a happy!"

Faith grabs her head and groans.

" What, me?" Willow puts on a southern accent. " lil ole crazy girly me?"

Faith groans.

" Bye, Will. Call you tomorrow, OK? After I talk to mom?"

" Sure Buff. Thanks again!"

" You betcha!" She arches a brow." Now you be good , hear?"

" Oh, I'll do my best!"

" That's all I ask!"

Both girls giggle, to Faith's consternation.

" Bye" Buffy calls out; waving as the car pulls away from the curb.

Buffy's face takes on a small, but evil smile.

_That's right, honey. Get her all nice and hot and wet. But when she comes home tonight, she's mine. All mine._

Fingering her new cross, Buffy turns and walks up the sidewalk to her house.

To be continued.


	9. Chapter 9

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 9

Disclaimer: The original characters appearing in " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" are the sole property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. Original characters, and the story, are the property of the author. Oh and hey, writing this for love and insanity.

"We are never deceived; we deceive ourselves."

Goethe

1

" You're kinda quiet."

Willow turns off the ignition and sits next to Faith. They've barely said a word on the way over.

" Is it something I did?" Willow asks, looking at Faith.

" No…no" Faith reaches over, patting her leg.

_Ok, that's so good to keep things on a rational level. Yeah, sure it is!_

" No, I'm just kind of weirded out by tonight…" Faith trails off.

" I know, " Willow says," I mean, Buffy nearly getting killed in the alley… enough to make one shudder just a little".

" That's just it," Faith turns to her, " Something's off about that. Something's not right."

" Faith, I don't understand. What're you saying?"

" it's weird, I know. But it felt like it was all stage managed."

" You mean, like it was some kind of game?"

" Something like that… aw, I'm just being stupid. You know?"

" I don't think you're stupid, " Willow says. " I mean, you've got all these slayer instincts, you know? "

" That's just it. I went out the back door. And Buffy screams for help. So I go for her, but then she's like warning me about some vamps in the shadows. Huh? I mean, why aren't they attacking her?"

" Maybe they saw you? Wanted to jump you or something?"

" Yeah, that's what I thought too. But I only saw the two when I went out. Where were the others? Why weren't they attacking Buffy, too?"

Willow's brow furrows. " Well, you know, Vamps have that super hearing thing going. Maybe they heard you coming?"

" Maybe…" But Faith doesn't sound convinced. "Ok, so with Buffy's warning I looked at the vamps hiding out. Next thing I know, Buffy's free, and the two vamps holding her? Dust. Why didn't that happen before?"

" Maybe there were more, and she already dusted a few when you came out, and these two happened to have just grabbed her."

" Maybe. But …when I hit the vamps in the shadows, one slipped by me, and got Buffy. And she wasn't doing so well against him. He had her on the ropes, ready to bite when I dusted him."

" She's not a slayer anymore, Faith. Maybe she just ran down… who knows how many she took out before you got there."

" Well, ok, if the attack was against her, why so many? I mean, she's just a human now. Why'd whoever set it up, send so many?"

" Well, maybe they all wanted in, just because they felt betrayed."

" Or maybe, it was supposed to be against me?" Faith looks away," Maybe they were trying to bag the slayer."

" Ok, Faith, maybe you are in paranoid city now. I mean, you seem to be saying you think Buffy had something to do with this, she set it up?"

"No… You're right, she almost got killed. I'm being an idiot."

" No, you're not. Things don't seem to fit, and you're trying to figure it out. I can see that, so don't get down on yourself, ok?"

"I just wish I could figure out why it felt wrong to me," Faith sighs.

" Well, Faith, maybe you're right. Maybe it was aimed at you. Maybe they saw you come in, and decided to group together to take you out. You've been busy making life miserable for them. And maybe, they set it up so you'd follow that vampire out. But it was Buffy instead, and they'd seen you together, so they held her, until you showed up."

" Ok…yeah, that works. But why didn't she like yell " TRAP!" or something. She called for help, and then warned me about the others as I was charging in. And I swear I heard some of them calling her a traitor, and stuff. And if it was meant for me, why'd she say it was part of her old crew?"

" Maybe it was, Faith. And maybe they were after both of you. and maybe she got a little scared and panicked, you know?"

" Yeah, you're right. I'm just being stupid, " Faith frowns. " No wonder she calls you big brain. You're pretty darn smart."

" Thanks, "Willow blushes. " But it's not stupid to question things if they don't seem right. Just, sometimes you gotta dig to find the answer."

" Even so, I should've know better than to suspect she might … you should've seen her at the magic box the other day…"

" What do you mean?"

" Oh, the first day we were supposed to go out looking for the nests…"

It takes about 15 minutes, but Faith explains about the fight, and the stuff after at the magic box, carefully editing out the raging hormone sexual vibe stuff. By the end, Willow's face is ashen under her freckles.

" That poor girl!" Willow says, sad and angry at the same time. " God what monster did to her. I'm glad she dusted him, or I'd make him pay in a special hell all his own!"

Faith gets a little nervous, because she swears she sees Willow's eye's go black.

_Ok, freaking here, just a little_

" Yeah, and the worst thing was her blaming herself. Saying she was the reason it happened, and for what happened after."

" Sounds like she's suffering from PTSD, " Willow says.

" I'm sorry, is that like a sexual disease?"

" No! Post traumatic stress disorder. Often times victims of traumatic experiences will not be able to deal with them. One symptom is the victim blaming themselves for what happened. Taking on guilt, because it's a way of avoiding dealing with what actually happened."

" She's…nuts?"

"No, but she might need help. Professional help." Willow frowns. " We'll just have to keep an eye on her. If she starts doing crazy things…"

" Too late for that, Red."

" I mean, really crazy things. Trust me, what she's been doing now has only been ways of coping. I'm talking thrill seeking, or a radical shift in behavior, or serious depression, or suicidal thoughts. Stuff like that. We start seeing that, we might have to step in for her own good."

_Damn!_

" Look, Red, gonna tell you something. Don't know what it means, but it doesn't seem like the normal Buffy."

Faith tells her about the bedroom , and other stuff that's been going on. Willow is a little wide eyed by the end.

" Ok, gonna admit, that doesn't sound like her. But I talked to her too, and maybe she's not lying. Maybe it's a carry over from her being a vampire. Maybe she just really does love sex. A lot."

" I dunno, it's all just weird to me…"

" Weird?" Willow catches a note in her voice. " Faith, how do you feel about all this?"

"Huh?"

" Ok, well, what kind of feelings do you have about being with Buffy a lot during these past few weeks?"

" I dunno. Kinda nice, in some ways. She's been really good on the slaying stuff. Other times, kinda wiggy."

" Times like maybe you feel she's coming on to you?"

" Maybe," Faith's voice drops to just above a whisper.

" Do you think, maybe, you're developing some feelings for her… umm… warm feelings, and the idea might be wigging you out? And maybe all the questions are you're way of trying to avoid feeling these things?"

" I dunno…I'm really kind of confused when it comes to that. I mean… right now? With what we're doing? I'm thinking I'd rather just keep it friendly…and not much more… and I think Buffy agrees."

" Ok, " Willow says quietly, " but you know …it's not unusual to work with someone closely, like you and Buffy do, and for a bond to develop… and possibly some intense feelings happen." Willow puts her hand on Faith's , " And for those feelings to be reciprocated."

" Re-who?" Faith asks. And she's very aware of Willow's hand on hers.

" Sorry. Returned in kind. i.e. Buffy might feel the same about you."

" Oh." Faith sits for a moment, and realizes that somehow Willow fingers have laced with hers. " Is this that crush thing you were mentioning before?"

" Yeah, I mean, hey who could blame her? You're a very attractive woman, really alive and funny, and smart, and it'd be very easy to be attracted to you…" Willow trails off. _Like, for instance, me?_

" That's funny, because Buffy was kind of saying you were crushing on me."

" Oh." Willow is suddenly doing her best not to look at Faith. But her hand doesn't move away.

Faith, however notices the avoidance.

"Red?" No response." Willow? Would you look at me, please?"

" I'd really kinda like not," Willow says, still looking out the driver's side window.

" Is it true?" Faith asks, softly. " Are you kind of crushing on me?"

" Maybe?" Willow says in a very soft voice.

" Oh." Faith is staring straight ahead again. She's trying to process this, but Willow's hand laced with hers? Major distraction. Also, major tingling. And…"You know, that isn't really freaksome to me."

" Huh?"

" The idea. I mean, you're cute, and funny… and charming, and you have the prettiest eyes."

" You think so?" Willow turns to her, just as Faith is turning to Willow.

" Oh." The say in unison.

Both get a major blush.

" And your smile?" Faith goes on.

They don't even realize it, but they're moving together.

" It's just so …and when you smile…the room seems to light up…did …you…know…"

Faith doesn't finish, because their lips have come together. It's a warm friendly kiss. And then Willow's mouth opens, and it goes to another level. Faith's tongue slips into her mouth, and then Willow's sucking on it, enjoying the taste. And then Willow's tongue finds its way into Faith's mouth, and Faith is sucking hers."

_Mmmmm… this is nicer than I thought it'd be,_ Willow thinks, _And I was thinking major niceness. And Oh my… does she know kissing or what? And her lips…so soft…and…_

Willow pushes Faith away, breaking the kiss. She's panting just a little.

" Maybe we shouldn't be doing this? I mean… Buffy and feelings and…"

Then they're kissing again, and Willow sighs softly

Faith for her part is feeling her heart start to rev in her chest, and she's loving the way Willow sucks on her tongue, and the way Willow's tongue tastes…and she's wondering why her nipples are so damned hard.

The kiss breaks again, and both are panting pretty heavily.

" Ummm… ok, maybe I should be going home now…"

" Maybe"

And then they're kissing again, and Faith finds herself starting to lay back on the seat…and her head clips the side of the door.

" Ow!" She cries out. She sits up, rubbing her head.

" Maybe we shouldn't be doing that, " Willow ways. " Poor head" She kisses Faith's head.

" Or maybe, we shouldn't be doing that in here?" Faith whispers softly.

Without knowing how, they find themselves outside of the car. And then, Willow seems to magically be in Faith's arms, and Faith is lifting her and carrying her. All while their lips are locked together. And their tongues are dancing in each other's mouth…and then they're at Willow's front door.

" Think we should go inside?" Willow asks.

" Think so, " Faith agrees.

And Willow's digging through her purse for her keys, and then they seem to be inside, and the door is closing behind them.

Willow slips out of Faith's arms. And then, Faith has her pinned against the wall, kissing her. And Willow's arms are around Faith's neck, and she wraps her legs around Faith's waist, and the kiss seems to last forever, and that's not long enough.

" I'm kind of thinking I'd like to be laying down right now," Faith breathes heavily, when the kiss breaks.

" Me, too," Willow says.

And their stumbling back towards Willow's bedroom. And somehow clothes seem to fly off by themselves, because by the time they make it to Willow's bed, both are half naked.

" Ummm…ok," Faith gasps when this kiss ends.

" Yeah, definitely ok," Willow agrees.

And then they're tugging at each other's remaining clothing and that's gone because they're naked when their bodies fall on the bed. And somehow they become entwined in each other. And are kissing again. And then they roll over, and hands are seeking and caressing each other

_What's happening here?_ Both think at once. Then thinking stops.

And Willow is kissing down Faith's body, and Faith is having a happy, a definite happy. And when Willows warm lips find her nipples, and start suckling her, her happy starts to warm in her belly. And her hands seem to be all over Willow's back and ass…and then Willow slips down, and her lips are tickling Faith's tummy, and her tongue is licking her navel, and Faith's happy starts to grow bigger, and hotter.

And when Willow's lips touch her sex, lighting bolts and fire run throughout Faith, and all of a sudden her face is flushing, and her happy is getting so happy she isn't laughing, but screaming. And a wave of pleasure runs over her…followed by a brief calm as another wave hits her…then another… and another… then she rather loses count.

And when she can count again, she looks down, and Willow, face rather dampened by Faith's enthusiasm, is crawling up her, grinning from ear to ear.

" What the fuck just happened?" Faith asks hoarsely.

" I think it's called cumming, honey, " Willow giggles. " I think you did it quite a few times."

" Funny, Red, really…" But she's cut off by Willows lips. And she tastes herself on them, and isn't hating the taste.

And then suddenly Willow's sex is rubbing gently against hers. And then it's not so gentle, and hers is rubbing back, and then they roll on their sides and legs and arms become entwined but the don't' seem to notice because their sexes seem to be trying to rub through each other. And then they're both moaning, and then groaning, and then screaming as they are drowned in a tsunami of pleasure.

" Did you?" Faith asks.

" Oh yeah. Did you?" Willow replies.

" Oh yeah."

And then Faith rolls Willow over, and she's straddling her and the kissing is happening again…and then Faith starts working her way down Willow's body. And Willow is squirming and mewling, loving the way Faith's lips are kissing her…and kissing her in places she hadn't considered before…and then Faith is low … lower … lowest, and Willow's hips seem to open like a flower, and when Faith's tongue slips in her, Willow's mewling and moans become groans.

_Maybe she's never done this before, _Willow, panting, thinks, _but she's got it down pat._

And then she stops thinking, because her brain seems to fall apart, and she hears screams, and realizes she's screaming and she's shuddering hard because god she's in heaven.

And they kind of spent the night that way, on and off.

2

Buffy looks out over the moonlit street.

She sighs, and looks again at the small clock on her night stand. It's been over two hours since Willow drove off.

_Where is she? What's she doing? Why's it taking so long?_

Buffy, in anticipation, has prepared special for this night. She is wearing what she thinks of as her sexiest nightgown. It's a full length gown of white lace. It's modest, until it's backlit. Then it becomes almost transparent. Suggesting a innocent naughtiness. She's hoping, once Faith gets back, to be waiting in her room, by the window, moon backlighting her gown.

_Where IS_ _she? _

Buffy paces. She's so horny right now, she almost wants to pop. And Faith, for the first time since coming to live with them, is MIA. _Damn,_ Buffy curses to herself,_ why now? Why tonight? God, I want to make her happy, so happy…and she bails!_

A terrible thought occurs to her, but she shoves it away as ridiculous. But like a jack in the box, it pops right back up.

_What if they got to kissing…and it kind of got out of control?_

She feels ice crystals forming in her tummy, but refuses to give the thought weight because it's so utterly ridiculous

_Why would she choose her over me? Why? I don't understand it…_

But she refuses to believe it. She pushes it down and away.

_She probably went for a sweep… and is fighting. I could go out and check… but then she'd get weird about it, and think I was following her around. No…just have to wait. She'll be back soon. I know she will. I know it. And when she does get back, I'm gonna rock her world._

Buffy yawns, and realizes she's really tired. She lays down, and thinks about Faith, and how she 'saved' her, and the cross…and slowly her eyes close.

_Just for a minute. Just rest my eyes for a minute…_

Buffy starts awake, and looks around.

_Damn, what time is it?_

She looks at the little clock, and groans.

_Two hours! I slept for two hours. She could've come home any time. She could be asleep by now. Shit. Damn. I blew it!_

Quietly, she gets up, and glides to her door. Looking out, seeing it's clear, she quietly goes to Faith's door.

_It's ok, it's ok. I'll just look in on her. Maybe I can slip in next to her. That'd be cool… holding her would be good._

Buffy opens the door, and peeks in.

The ice crystals become ice bergs.

_She's not HOME! Where IS she?_

And the awful thought, so mild before, slams in her head like a truck.

_No… that couldn't'… she wouldn't…They wouldn't….oh …._

Slipping back to her room, she slips out of her nightgown. She quickly dresses in pair of jeans, top and boots, and quietly slips out her bedroom window.

She runs down Revello drive, running at top speed. She has to know what the situation is, what's happened to Faith.

_Oh god, what if I'm wrong and Faith is hurt somewhere? Dying somewhere? Shit, I should…no. Willow's first, then I'll start checking hospitals!_

Buffy arrives at Willow's house , and leaning on her knees, catches her breath. _Ok, advantage vampire. You never lose your breath. Don't have any._

Her breathing under control, she shinnies up the tree leading to the roof. She knows exactly which window is Willow's bedroom. She used to come here late at night as a vampire, watching her sleep. She thought it was amusing and cute that Willow still cuddled up with a stuffed bear.

She hopes she'll still be amused.

Quietly she makes her way to Willow's window. For a brief second, she debates looking in._ Do I really want to know? I have to know!_

She crouches down, and looks in.

And her world falls apart into a thousand sharp pieces.

All cutting her heart.

Faith and Willow are sleeping in her bed, cuddling.

She feels like she wants to scream. Then puke. Then scream again.

She quickly makes her way back to the tree, and down to the ground, almost falling out of the tree in her haste.

When she hits ground, her legs fail her, and she sits down hard, leaning against the tree.

Her mind won't work, it's a cesspool of emotions. Rage mixes with hurt mixes with despair. Only one word keeps flashing through her mind

_NO!_

_NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!_

Her whole body aches, everything hurts. Just hurts. She bangs her head against the tree a few times, hoping the pain will be less than what she's feeling.

Hot tears course down her cheeks, and she bites her hand hard to keep the sobbing away.

Slowly, nearly half an hour later, she brings herself under control.

_It's cool, it's all cool, _She thinks to herself. _It's what I wanted… just not the when. I wanted her first, but maybe this is best. After all, she might have her first, but I'm gonna have her last!_

Buffy stands, and waits for a moment as the dizziness passes. She pushes down the hurt, shuts away the rage. She breathes slowly, to get her emotions under control. She starts to walk back home, and she knows that she can deal, she can deal.

If only the tiny ache in her heart would go away.

3

Faith blinks as the morning sun hits her eyes. She opens them just enough to see…and smiles.

Willow is sleeping on her chest, hands resting on her belly. Her hair is all mussed, and she's snoring just a little. It has to be one of the cutest things she's ever seen.

Then she sighs, being hit with a major case of the guilts.

_Wasn't supposed to happen. This really wasn't supposed to happen! God, I'm such a bitch. I don't love her. And she's gonna be so upset when I tell her… Shit, I really like her, too! _

Faith gently moves Willow off her chest, and sits up. She looks out the window .

A pair of arms encircle her waist, and a warm pair of hands cup her breasts. A head leans on her back, and a soft sigh greets her.

" Hey," Willow says, a little sleepily.

" Hey," Faith answers, her mouth dry. _Now what do I tell her?_

" That was nice, " Willow coos softly.

" Really nice, " Faith agrees. She sighs heavily.

"What is it , cutie?" Willow squeezes her breasts. " Still horny?"

" God, no!" Faith has to chuckle. She puts her hands over Willows. " I think you did a good case of curing the hornies last night. At least for me!"

" Mmm… me too, Willow sighs. " I feel so good right now. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't feel better!" She kisses the back of Faith's neck.

" Ah, man, I wish you wouldn't do that, " Faith says.

" Why not? Don't you like it?"

" A bit too much. But Red, I've got to be honest here. I… I really don't love you. I like you , a lot. But…"

"Well, of course not, silly," Willow snuggles closer, " I don't love you, either."

_Huh?_

" Huh?"

"I've got this big crush on you, and you've got to be the sexiest thing going. But I love Tara, and that hasn't changed, darling. But, doesn't mean we can't …have some fun, you and me."

" Wow, " Faith chuckles." I was so worried I was going to break your heart, and it looks like it was only my heart in danger."

" Oh, no. Nothing like that. You couldn't fall for me, anymore than I could for you. You love Buffy."

" Ok, I'm going to repeat myself…huh?"

"C'mon, Faith. Don't be dumb. We both know you've got major feelings in there…" She taps Faith's heart," And I'm thinking they're getting bigger every day." She kisses Faith's neck. "What we did last night? Wow. Loved it, really loved it. I needed it more than you know. It's been so long since I've been held. Since someone looked at me like that. Wow. Double Wow. By the way, Faith? You are one superb lover. Buffy is going to be one lucky girl once you both stop thinking about it and just do it. But really, honey, one night a love doesn't make. I really care for you. I think I always will. But love? Nope, sorry. But…" She giggles, and her hand slips lower on Faith's body, " doesn't mean we can't make each other feel really nice, Now be a good girl, and lay back, and let me make you really feel nice!"

" God, I'd really love to, But I've got to go…"

" Do you gotta gotta? I was thinking, I'd get up, make us breakfast, then we'd have dessert," Willow giggles," then maybe another dessert. Did I tell you I've got this wicked sweet tooth?"

" That sounds so nice…I mean… what you did to me last night, made me a little…no, a lot crazy… but I really…oh…ok, now that's not fair!"

Willow's hand has started rubbing her in her favorite place. Faith lets out a huge sigh … and lays back down

" I'm kinda craving sweets…"

Willow giggles, and disappears under the covers.

4

Buffy walks along seemingly in a daze.

The sun is coming up on the horizon, but she doesn't really notice it. She doesn't really seem to notice anything.

Everything around her seems dead. The trees look skeletal, the birds are all black, singing a dirge. Though the air is warm, it feels icy on her skin. And inside her, her heart seems to have stopped beating.

All that's there is ice. A large chunk of ice filling her, chilling her. Killing her.

She looks up, and notices she's reached home. Strange, but she doesn't seem to know it. The flowers and bushes around the house all look dead or dying, the grass is a grayish brown. The trees are leafless and lifeless.

The house itself is drained of color. All she sees are whites and blacks and grays, shadow play without any color. She finds her feet moving up the walk . _Why, why, why? Why am I here? I don't belong here!_ But her feet continue walking, and she follows them.

She climbs the porch stairs, not caring about the creaks and squeaks. She shivers, as if feeling a pair of icy arms wrapping around her. Digging through her pocket, she finds her key. She opens the door and quietly slips in the house.

Inside the house it's dark, but it doesn't seem to matter. Her feet know where to go. She climbs the stairs, quietly, and then walks down the hallway to her room. She opens the door and shuts it behind her.

Walking to her dresser, she opens the drawer and pulls out a small knife. It's very sharp, and she's very careful handling it. Getting the metal trash can from the corner, she walks to the closet.

She's in the closet, and pulls down the ladder, climbs it and raises it again even before she's aware she's done it. Closing the panel, she grabs the light and makes her way to her place. Her 'special place'.

She sets down the trash can and knife, and moves to the wall. Her wall. The wall of her goddess. Her moon goddess. She pulls off a picture, and tears it, and then another and another and another, tearing each. Soon all the pictures are gone except the large one.

She takes the debris, and drops it in the trashcan. Going to the little table by the bed, she opens a drawer and takes out a box of matches. Walking over to the trash can, she strikes a match and watches as its flare hits the paper, burning the pictures. She watches the fire as it burns brightly, putting her hands out to warm them because she's so cold. So very cold. But the fire doesn't warm her, only freezes her. She moves away, watching the flames dance as the images of her goddess turns to ash. She watches until the flame lowers, then sputters, and finally dies. It is smoky in the room, but she doesn't care, doesn't notice. She coughs, and moves to the only picture left. Smiling, she leans in and kisses it tenderly.

" I understand, lover. I do, I really do. Willow is sweet, very sweet. I love her too. " She kisses the picture again. "We'll be together, all of us, Very soon, I promise you." She moves to the table. Picking up the knife , she stares at it. She pushes up the sleeve on the top, and draws the knife across the skin.

" little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums to herself, over and over. She looks up, startled. " No, baby, don't worry. I'm just punishing myself. I've been such a jealous bitch. I need to be punished. I deserve it, don't you know?"

" little cuts, shallow cuts" She hums, crisscrossing the cuts. She watches as tiny drops of blood bead on her skin. She licks them, seeking comfort.

**_" Surely you've heard the expression rubbing salt in the wound, Slayer!" Spike's voice taunts her._**

****

**_She is tied to a pole, her legs splayed and bound to the floor. Her sex has been shaved, and Spike is standing over her, grinning._**

****

**_In one hand, he holds a sharp, very sharp knife. In the other, a small container of salt._**

****

**_" Now we all know how much rubbing salt into a wound hurts. But I wonder… how would it feel here?" He draws his finger across her sex. She shudders in revulsion. " Oh, like that did you?" He grins at her maliciously._**

****

**_He shows her the knife, " Now the trick is, little cuts, shallow cuts. We don't want a lot of blood washing out the wounds. Just enough to penetrate the skin, expose the nerves. Give the maximum effect. So, what say we get started?"_**

****

**_He lowers the knife towards her._**

"little cuts, shallow cuts, " She hums, her hot tears falling on the wound. She sighs at the pain the brine of her tears causes her. She licks, and more tears fall. Lick and tears, lick and tears. Finally, she just rubs the tears in, increasing the pain exquisitely. She falls back on the bed, and her head turns to the side, looking at her moon goddess.

" I've been a horrible, terrible ,ugly, jealous bitch, I know my sweetness. But I'll be better, I promise. I'll be worthy of your love. I swear it."

She falls into a sweet doze, smiling.

5

Faith walks through the morning sunshine, loving the way the sun warms her skin. She sighs, happily and sadly.

She feels wonderful.

She feels terrible.

_Damn, why can't I make up my mind?_

Willow has shown her a new side of sex she hadn't considered before. A softer, sweeter side. She touched buttons Faith didn't know she had; didn't know existed. It was incredibly wonderful. Sweet and wonderful, soft and delicious.

It's brought her to a new place, a place she wants to explore. And Faith, she's all about the exploring of sex. She knows who she wants to explore it with. Holding her close, touching and kissing her as they walk the wilds of this strange new land.

_Red was dead on. I really wish she weren't because it freaks me to Saturn. But I know she's right, because I get this intense happy when I think of her, and I get this awful burning pit. It makes me feel great and awful. How fucking weird is that? I want her, I love her, and it's killing me._

She knows, she wants, and that's what brings the terrible. The sweet, sweet, terrible.

She feels like a cheater. She feels she's betrayed her, hurt her. She feels like a slut, a whore. Thinking with her hormones instead of her head.

She wants to feel cheap, and dirty, and wrong. And she can't, and that bugs her too. _I've slept with someone else. A girl someone else, and I should be dying here. I should be feeling like dog crap. I should, and I don't._

If she did, she would cheapen what she and Willow shared. And she really likes Willow, and making what they did cheap and dirty? Would be hurting her. And she doesn't want that.

And it was good, really good. It wasn't tawdry, it wasn't dirty. It was sweet, and nice, and happy. No, she can't feel bad about doing it, and doing it with Willow. She just can't.

But she can feel like crap because she knows she'll hurt Buffy, and that puts ice in her heart, and this incredibly hot ball of pain in her stomach. She wants to see her so bad it hurts. She wants to shout how she feels to her until she's hoarse. And she wants to hold her forever in her arms, kissing her and loving her.

And she wants to hide, feeling like a slutty bitch in heat. A dog, who doesn't deserve shit.

And how weird is all this? Weird. Way weird.

Too weird for her to figure out.

She reaches the house on Revello drive, and stops a second, enjoying the green of the lawn, and the colors of the flowers in the garden. _Yeah, and stalling your ass from going in, right babe?_ She sighs, hating when she busts herself. But she knows it's true, and she really doesn't want to go in now. Too many questions, too much to deal with. She's just not ready for it now. So, she wanders over to the tree, and leans against it, looking at the pattern of sun and leaves. Feeling the warmth on her face, and sighing heavily.

She'll just wait here a few. Until the ice in her heart melts a little. Sending down a trickle to cool the burning in her tummy.

Then she can go in. Face the music.

And take her licks.

6

Buffy wakes up coughing.

She looks around and notices a smoky scent to the air.

"What?"

She looks around and notices the little trash can with all the ashes in it. And it starts to come back.

The waiting.

The running.

The seeing.

The dying.

She looks up at her wall, and shrugs. She knows soon she won't need this altar anymore. She'll worship at her moon goddess's feet. It'll all be good. Better than good. Exquisitely wonderful.

She touches the picture on the wall, and kisses it lightly.

" I love you, I always do. No matter what, I love you." She caresses the flat cheek, then moves to gather up the mess.

Leaving the knife, she grabs the can, touching it. It's cool. She looks around, and finds some newspaper. She covers the ashes with it, and leaves her cubbyhole.

Slipping down the ladder, she enters her room, and picking up any other debris she wants gone, she head for the hall.

She slips downstairs, and finding an empty trashcan, dumps the contents of her waste basket. She leaves it outside to air, and sneaks back in. She's up the stairs and back in her room before she hears her mom stirring around._ Whew. Hate to have to explain that!_

She doffs her clothes, and slips on a robe, heading for the bathroom.

" Buffy?" Her mom calls out from her room. Buffy walks to Joyce's room, and peeks in.

" Mom?"

" Honey, have you been smoking?"

" What? Geeze, mom, do I look _that _stupid? Oh, you mean the smell? Uhh… I was out walking earlier, and I think they're doing some road work up the street. Maybe that's what you smell?"

" Yeah, maybe," she frowns. " I wish they wouldn't do that so early. It stinks."

" Oh yeah. Well…" Buffy shrugs. " Mom, can I talk to you?"

" Now?" Joyce is still a little sleepy.

" No, at breakfast."

Joyce shakes her head. _Talk to me? Has the world started spinning backwards? And why am I looking the horse in the mouth?_

" Of course, sweetie," Joyce smiles. " any time."

" Thanks mom, kinda important."

" Ok, honey, I'll see you downstairs."

As Buffy walks away, Joyce's brow furrows. _Important? Oh please, please, don't let her be pregnant._

Joyce sighs, wondering if a son wouldn't be so much easier sometimes.

Buffy luxuriates under the hot water, loving the way it's warming her. She's felt cold all morning, and the heat feels wonderful.

She looks at the wound on her arm, and feels the clean water washing the pain away. She hears the little humming in her head, and the her voice saying " little cuts, shallow cuts." She pushes it away, but still stares at the wound. She licks it, and tastes the remnants of salt and blood. She shivers.

_Sick, sick, God I'm so sick!_

The image of Faith and Willow together comes unbidden to mind, and she feels herself tearing up again. The tears spill as her mind imagines them together. Touching each other, cooing and sighing and moaning.

And then she's with them, and their soft arms hold her, their loving lips kiss her, and she feels better. They touch her, and kiss her, and she feels the warmth in her tummy grow. She feels wanted and needed and loved.

Her hand trails down to her sex, and she feels a dampness too thick for water. She rubs herself gently, as images of the three of them pleasuring each other flows though her brain, and her breathing turns to sighs, then to needy mewls and then soft sweet moans. Her other hand starts to pinch her nipples, and soon she is caught in a sexual web, her body shaking as her pleasure slams her. She leans heavily into the wall, sinking down as her knees grow weak and her pleasure carries her off.

Her sighs are happy as she pulls herself up, still feeling the soft warmth in her tummy. She turns off the shower and hops out, drying in the fluffiness of a huge terry towel. Wrapping herself, she checks the mirror, and then smiles.

She hums softly to herself as she leaves the bathroom.

Buffy walks down the stairs to the dining room, feeling and looking 100 girly. She's wearing a clingy knee length print skirt and tube top. On her feet are heeled sandals, and around her neck is the cross Faith gave her. Completing her get her hot while looking soft look , her hair is held back in a low pony tail with a scrunchie. Her makeup is subdued and her lips are a kissable soft pink. She has every plan of cutting the knees from under Faith, and crawling on top. She giggles, and enters the dining room.

No Faith.

Buffy sighs, and walks into the kitchen.

" Hey, mom!" Buffy walks over and gives her mom a kiss.

Joyce's eyebrows arch up, and she smiles.

" Hi, honey. You look so pretty this morning!"

" You think?" She twirls for her mother, giving her the full effect.

" Definitely adorable, sweetheart. But ummm…maybe not good for the slaying?"

" No nest hunting today. Buffy taking a day off. Wants to feel all girly again. I mean, just how many days can I wear jeans?" She giggles

Joyce smiles at her daughter's bubbly mood. She doesn't understand it, but she surely has to love it.

"So, honey, hungry?"

" Just some cereal and juice mom. Girl's gotta keep trim" Buffy says, heading to the cabinet for a bowl. She almost dances across the floor, swinging her hips and humming merrily. Joyce is enchanted by her daughter's utter happy.

Buffy sidles over to the fridge, grabbing the milk, and then grabs the cereal. She pours, pours and then grabbing a spoon, heads to the dining room. Joyce chuckles at her silliness.

_So good to see her so happy. It's been way too long. _Joyce has a thought. _I wonder if she … ok, Joyce, thinking of daughter having sex? Ewww._

Laughing, she brings a juice for her crazy daughter, and coffee for herself.

" So, honey, you said earlier you need to talk to me?" She puts the juice by Buffy and almost starts laughing again. Buffy is eating robustly , almost noisily. She smiles. _Happy Gods. I don't know what you did to my daughter, but keep it up, ok? Please?_

" Oh yeah, " Buffy says, mouth full. She puts down the spoon. " It's about Willow. Well, Willow and Tara, really."

" Oh? Is everything ok? "

" Well, not for reals, mom. Seems Tara was in the hospital under insurance, and it's kind of run out. Now, Willow is all scrambling around looking for someone to watch Tara while trying to find a job. During the day. Problem is, She's in school, and only a year away from getting her degree, you know? I really hate to think of her quitting now, she's worked so hard."

" and you're wondering if I know someone or other that could help? "

" Mom, really got to stop the mind reading thing. It's freaky."

" Well, actually honey I've been kind of looking into it, because I know that the situation with Tara in the hospital is really expensive. I figured the insurance had to go soon, so I thought, seeing how Willow's your best friend, I'd sort of look into it."

Buffy breaks out in a beaming smile." Mom, are you like Super mom, or what?" She gets up and comes around, hugging her. " Everybody's right. You are totally the coolest mom ever." She kisses her cheek. "So what's the 411 on it?"

Joyce, a little embarrassed but smiling, takes a second to translate. " Oh… well, there's a place called the Sunny Springs extended care home. It's not fancy, but it's clean and bright, and the staff there is dedicated. And, your adorable mom happens to be on the board, so I could pull a few strings."

" Did I happen to mention you're the best mom ever?"

" Well, you said coolest, but I guess…"

" Well, you are!" Buffy hugs her again. " But what does it cost? Willow's kind of like us… not exactly rolling in it."

" Well, that's the nice part, honey. It's a state sponsored home. I'm pretty sure that Tara's SSI payments would cover any additional costs. And of course, anything Willow could pay would be welcome."

" Super mom to the rescue," Buffy teases her. " you're just kinda like everybody's mom, aren't you?"

" Buffy, stop it. You're going to get me weepy here in a second."

Buffy smiles. " I'm sorry mom, a little too gushy, I got it. Just I love you. I know if things go bad, you're there to fix it."

" Oh, well now you've done it, " Joyce grabs a napkin, daubing her eyes.

" Oh, oh, waterworks. I'm sorry, mom, didn't mean to make you cry."

" No, silly. Just made me really happy. Haven't seen you so … bouncy in a long time. Kind of missed it."

" I love you mom, " Buffy hugs her again, tightly.

" Geeze, I keep coming in on these Kodak moments, " Faith cracks from the doorway.

Buffy looks up and smiles at her.

Faith, on the other hand, feels she wants to crawl away and hide.

" Hey, Faith!" Buffy says brightly. She gives Faith the once over. " not looking like the sweats, sweetie. Miss the run this morning?"

" Uh, yeah, kinda… just went for a walk, really."

" Hi, Faith. Hungry? Can I fix you something?" Joyce asks, getting up.

" No thanks Mrs. … Joyce… I'm cool. I'll grab some cereal if that's ok?"

" Of course, Faith. You don't have to ask. You're welcome to anything in the fridge."

" Thanks, " Faith smiles, making a break for the kitchen.

" Faith?"

_Oh, oh_

" Yeah, Buff?"

" I'm going out , but I'm going to be at the Magic Box in an hour or so." She sniffs. " When you're done and …well, showered, meet me there?"

_Big oh, oh!_

" Sure B, " Faith says, smiling a little weakly. " See ya there."

" Seeya, cutie." She turns to Joyce. " Going over to tell Willow, if that's OK?"

" Sure, honey. Tell her it's not 100 sure, but if it doesn't pan out, we'll find something, ok?"

" You're just too, too, mom!"

" Did you find something for Tara, Buffy?"

" Yeah, Super mom was already on the case!" Buffy turns to leave. " Bye guys!"

" Buffy?"

She turns back. " Yeah, Faith?"

" Really like the duds. Look good on you!"

" Really? " Buffy beams She gives Faith a quick twirl to show off. " Thanks. See you in an hour or so."

She leaves , waving.

"Whoa!" Faith is a little stunned. " Did you like feed her happy pills this morning, Joyce?"

" I don't know, Faith. I'm as confused as you, Faith. She just came down that way."

" Well, gotta say, major improvement."

" I've got to agree, " Joyce nods. She turns to Faith. " So, girl that's living in my house who's not my daughter, how come we're getting in so late?"

" Huh?" Faith almost chokes on air." Late? No, just went for a walk."

" Uh-huh. That doesn't work with my daughter, either, when she comes home from her 'walk' wearing the same clothes she did yesterday…"

"Oh, man," Faith seem to lose all her energy. " Do you think Buffy noticed?"

" Honey, I noticed, and I'm just the non-mom here." She gives Faith a look. " Would my daughter care if my non-daughter came home wearing the same clothes from yesterday?"

" I don't know. But I'm thinking I care if she cares." Faith admits.

" I see, " Joyce says, " and so, non-daughter of mine, would you like to tell me, non-mom, where you spent the night last night."

" It's kind of personal, Joyce," Faith squirms a little in her chair.

Joyce doesn't say a word, only looks at Faith.

" Ok, ok, stop the third degree!" Faith throws up her hands. " I spent the night with Willow."

"Oh, So like a sleep over, then." Joyce cocks her head. " Wonder why Willow didn't invite Buffy, too? I mean, I sure she would've liked to have gone."

Faith blushes.

" Ummm… no, don't think that would've worked." _Though… hmmm._

Joyce looks puzzled.

" Joyce, I spent the night _with_ Willow… do you understand. _WITH_"

" Oh?…OH!" Joyce eyes go wide. " Really?"

Faith nods, sighing.

" Ok, I… ok, " Joyce looks more confused by the second. " But, why would my daughter care if you spent the night with Willow?" Joyce sighs. " Would someone just tell me what's going on, instead of using oblique references?"

" The who?"

" The … ok what's everybody hiding?"

" Oh… well, Joyce? Promise not to freak?"

" I read Cosmo, Faith. You can't surprise me!"

" Ah, well… ummm… ok, this is rather hard. Ummm…"

" Faith honey? It's easier just to say it."

" Ok. Ummm… I love Buffy , you see…"

" Pardon? I'm not sure I heard that right?"

Faith colors beet red. " I love… I think I love… oh heck I'm falling in love with Buffy, Mrs. Summers."

" Oh." Joyce cocks her head. " And, how does Buffy feel about this?"

" That's the big I don't know, Mrs. Summers. I don't know how she feels, exactly. I mean, I kind of get signals, but nothing concrete."

" Ok, but do you believe she might?"

" I kinda think so?" Faith's voice goes low.

" I see… but you spent the night with Willow?"

" Yes, ok, but I don't love her, Mrs. Summers. I love Buffy. But we were together last night, and she was needing, and I was needing.. and we sort of needed together?"

" Ok, I get that one, " Joyce nods. " don't look so surprised, Faith. I wasn't born 40, you know."

Faith giggles.

"So you had a one nighter with Willow, but you love my daughter?"

" Mrs. Summers? It wasn't like that. I mean dirty or nothin' "

" Faith? Didn't we like say we weren't going to call me Mrs. Summers anymore?"

" Yes… but I find it hard to call you Joyce."

" I understand. I guess you'll just have to call me mom, then."

Faith looks at her, and her eyes suddenly get big and wet. Joyce hands her a napkin.

" Now, don't do that or we're going to be sitting here crying like babies, and I'd really like to understand this."

Faith daubs her eyes, and smiles.

" Sorry… ummm… look, simple. I love Buffy, not sure she loves me. I think she does, but I feel like crap right now because I spent the night with Willow. Help?"

" Now, you see? I already love you're my new daughter. I'd never get it that easily out of Buffy. Ok, well, here goes, " Joyce sighs. " honey, there's no easy way out of this. You have to talk to Buffy, explain how you feel, ask her how she feels, and don't let her squirm out of it, and explain what happened with Willow. I'd suggest in that order, but it's up to you."

_Damn, she's good._

" Ok…wow…this won't be easy, will it?"

"No, but if you wear body armor? You'll probably survive it." Joyce teases her.

" Thanks, feeling better now…" Faith sighs. " you really ARE Super mom, aren't you?"

" You betcha. My cape's just in the cleaners."

" So, you won't mind if I hug you then?"

" You better!"

They hug. Joyce pulls back a little.

" Honey? Another suggestion? Shower. I love you, and Willow. Just not smelling you both on one body. Whew!"

Faith blushes.

" Well, hurry up. Don't keep Buffy waiting too long. She can turn cranky on a dime."

" Ok… " Faith runs out, then runs back, and kisses Joyce on the cheek. " Thanks…ummm… mom." She runs out again.

" You're welcome."

7

" Buffy! Hi!" Willow smiled brightly, seeing her friend at the door. "C'mon in, Buff" She waved her in.

Buffy entered the front room, and Faith's scent hit her nose. She smiled brightly all the while feeling the little bits of ice floating in her stomach. _Don't freak and don't lose it. You wanted this!_

" Hey, Will. Got news" Buffy says, moving to the kitchen." IS that coffee I smell?" _Along with Eau d' Faith?_

" Yeah, want some?" Willow calls from the kitchen.

" Please. Need my caffeine fix, bad today." Buffy sits at the breakfast bar.

" Oh, How come, Buffy?" Willow brings two steaming mugs of coffee , setting one in front of Buffy. Buffy takes a sip and sighs.

" Didn't sleep too well last night, " Buffy says, taking in Willow over the rim of her cup.

She can definitely see a difference in the way Willow moves and her energy this morning. _She's almost walking an inch off the floor. Wow, Faith must've really rang her good last night._

" You didn't? Why not honey? Bad dreams?"

" No, not really. I was a little worried when Faith didn't come home last night."

" Oh." Willow makes a big O with her lips Then she blushes deeply. "My bad. I should've had her call you."

" Well, look at Ms. Blushy. Maybe, there wasn't time for a phone?" Buffy arches her brows. " So, how DID it go last night?"

"Geeze, Buffy. Kind of private?" Willow gets even redder.

" Oh, c'mon, Will. Not asking for a blow by blow…unless of course it was super heated."

" Buffy, you're terrible," Willow waves her hand.

" So did you guys…" Buffy makes a hand gesture. Willow's eyes go wide, then she blushes.

" You did! I knew it!' Buffy crows. " I could smell her in here…or…" She stands up and moves to Willow and sniffs.

" What're you doing Buffy?"

" Checking for Eau d' Faith" Buffy laughs. " And yup, it's there."

Willow can't help a very large grin. She nods, and looks down shyly.

"Willow Rosenberg! You little vixen. And here I thought you guys would be smooching and maybe groping a little, and you set her on fire."

" We just started out kissing…and it kind of went from there, " Willow says softly. " It was… wow!"

" Judging from the way your feet don't hit the floor, I'd have to agree."

" It was good, Buffy, really good. I don't know what else to say."

" You don't have to, girlfriend. I can tell by the megawatt smile and the way you're cheeks are all blushy and the way you're moving. You definitely have a happy going here."

" I won't deny I'm really feeling nice this morning."

"Well, that's a good thing, right?"

"Absolutely. And it was really good. But not a life changer, Buff."

" I don't understand?"

" Buffy, I really like Faith. She's sweet and sexy and …ok, damn she's hot," Willow chuckles, " but, honey, I don't love her. "

"Well, gee, ok, it was like the first time. Do you think you could?"

" No, Buffy, you don't get it. I don't love her… and I won't, because … it… that spark… just isn't there for us. It was sex, very, very nice sex, but it wasn't love…"

" Well… alright." Buffy answers.

Willow gives her a strange look.

" Buffy, she doesn't make me quiver inside. You know, that tingle in your tummy when the person you love is there, and you look into their eyes. That… just isn't there."

"Sure, sure, Will. I get it. Blonde, but not terminally blonde."

" And believe me, Buffy, she feels the same way. As a matter of fact, she told me as much."

" Really?" Buffy asks. _A little quiver goes off in her tummy._

"Yes, Buffy. It was so cute too. She was sitting there, afterward, looking all guilty, like I was going to turn to dust when she told me. She is adorable, don't you think?" Willow gives her a sidelong glance. " Oh, yeah, I'm thinking Buffy definitely finds adorableness in Faith."

"What?" Buffy makes a noise, " That's just silly, Will. Didn't I tell you at the Bronze last night, that we're just friends?"

" Mmmm-hmmm. Just friends. Ok…" Willow cocks her head. " So then why did you come on to her while wearing that hot little number she described. I think she said something about a black satin bustier and leather mini…"

Buffy goes pink. " Oh my god, she told you about that?"

" Mmmm-hmmm, " Willow smiles." She says you came on strong… pushed her on the bed and everything… little Ms. Slutty Summers!"

" Oh, and did she tell you she ran the first chance she got?"

" Yes, and she told me why, too."

"I know why," Buffy frowns.

" Oh? You do?" Willow looks at her. " Why do you think she ran?"

" Well, she told me because she was like… wasn't ready for it. But look at what happened between you two. So I can only think, she thinks I'm repulsive or something…"

" Buff? You were wrong, you ARE terminally blonde!"

"What? Well, thank you supposed best friend."

" Well, I can't think of any other reason for such a stupid remark. I mean… gosh, Buffy, all she could talk about last night was YOU, you dope."

" Huh?"

" When we weren't actually… well, you know… it was Buffy this, or Buffy that… or do you think Buffy really thinks this or that and geeze, Buffy, if I had any ego at all I might've been hurt." Willow laughs." It was so darned cute I couldn't get mad… oh, and I called her on it, and she admitted it, Buffy… she's like hooked on you bad!" Willow gets a wicked grin on her face, " I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have minded at all if I had been shorter, and blond, and been named …oh… Buffy."

" You're shitting me!" Buffy says. _Please, don't be… please._

Willow shakes her head, arms crossed.

" Ok, then you're just nuts, girl. Faith and I are like oil and water. Shake us up as much as you like, we don't mix."

"Hmmm… well, I'll tell you, one of you changed to oil, then, because I sense a definite wanting to shake it up in the together way."

" Will, sweetie, I know you're trying to help? But Faith pretty much thinks of me as psycho sick-o girl."

" No, I really don't think so, Buffy. She's hooked on you… and honey, if you don't feel the same, don't hurt her. You tell her!"

" Will, don't kid me here. Are you on the level? For reals? Swear? Pinkie swear?

" Buffy honey? Grow up! Pinkie swear? Look at me, Buffy. You know me. Am I lying to you. CAN I lie to you? You know what happens when I start lying."

" Don't see how she can love me, Will, I just don't! I'm damaged goods, I'm … ugly…" Buffy looks away…" inside…I'm so ugly…"

" Buffy…" Willow reaches for her, cupping her face. " Don't. She told me. What Spike did to you…how you blame yourself for it. It wasn't your fault honey… don't let him keep hurting you…please" Willow kisses her forehead. " I know you, you're too good a person to think like this."

Buffy looks into Willow's eyes, and something inside her makes her feel intense shame.

" No… I'm not… not anymore. Will, please for your own sake, don't trust me… I'm very bad…and I'm going to hurt you…everyone, if you're not careful…"

" Buffy…what?" Willow looks terribly confused.

Buffy bolts for the door, stops and turns around.

" Call my mom. She has news for you. I gotta…" She's out the door, gone.

Willow runs to the door, calling after her.

" Buffy…Wait… Buffy!"

" Buffy?"

8

_What are you doing?_ The voice whispered to her

"Nothing," She replied

_Are you trying to ruin everything?_

" No"

_Why did you do that? You freaked her. She's going to be suspicious!_

" I don't want to hurt her…" Buffy whispers.

_Are you stupid? We're not going to hurt her. We're going to free her._

" What if she doesn't want it? It's not right to force her."

_It's not right, it's not right_ The voice mocks her_ Where is this coming from? Is it right she be stuck tending a vegetable for the rest of her life? Is it right she's unhappy, lonely, unloved? What's "right" about that?_

" But she loves Tara. How can I take that from her?"

_Dimwit. I swear, aren't you listening? Tara's NOT HOME! Tara's gone. All you're beloved Willow has is a body, a breathing, eating and shitting machine. It doesn't know, it doesn't feel, it doesn't think. And you want to saddle her with that for the rest of her life? Because it's ' right'? How can you be so cruel?_

" I'm not cruel. But forcing her to become something she doesn't want, that's cruel!"

_And how do you know she doesn't want it? Because it's 'wrong'? Gee, I seem to remember she got awfully hot when you described what it was like being a vampire. Maybe she wants it and can't say it. Can't admit to herself she wants it. You're giving her something wonderful, and now you're second guessing it. How can you do that to her?_

" I'm not saying don't. I'm saying, let her have a choice."

_Fine. Go back, tell her your plans. And when she throws you out, and tells everyone, and the plans blow up in your face, and they put you away in the loony bin like you deserve, will you be happy then? Will you have Faith then? I don't think so. You'll only have me. I'll be stuck there with you. And I won't be happy. And you know what I can do when I'm not happy!_

Buffy shivers.

_I protected you when Spike hurt you, remember? I got you through it, put the bad stuff away, safe. Do you want that back, love? Remember the branding iron. What Spike did with it?_

Buffy closes her eyes, tightly

_Remember how Dru thought you should be cleaner… and how she made you "cleaner"? Want to feel that again, my sweet?_

Buffy whimpers softly.

_I can give it all back to you. You'll not only remember it, not only dream about it. You'll feel it all again._

Buffy sinks to her knees. " Please, don't."

_Look at you. So weak. A mewling little kitten. You think Faith wants that? A sick whiny little piece of shit like you? She wants strength, she wants power. I can give that to her. What can you give her? Tears? You know she wants Willow… you saw it. So stop fighting me. Stop making things difficult. Let me handle it, and I'll give her to you. You want that, don't you?_

" yes"

_And you'll stop this crap?_

"yes"

_Good… there, isn't that better now? That's my good baby. That's my sweet girl. It's so much easier when you let me do the thinking, isn't it?_

_"_yes"

_Of course it is. Let me take care of things, and you just love Faith. Who's my sweet, sweet girl?_

" Me?"

_That's right. Who do you love?_

"You"

There's a flash of Spike with the poker in her mind.

" You, mistress"

_That's better my love. Now get up. We have to meet Faith._

Buffy stands up.

_Now, sleep my love…_

Buffy shivers. She turns around, and there's a small cruel smile on her face, and a coldness in her eyes.

She walks towards the Magic Box.

9

" Insane"

Faith shakes her head. The look on her face says " Really confused here". It's pretty obvious that as she makes her way to the Magic Shop, she doesn't have a handle on what's going on. And it's bugging her.

_This is totally insane, I swear. What was that this morning? I know Buffy had to see I'd been out all night. Geeze, even Joyce… Mrs. Summers…mom? Christ I'll never figure THAT one out, either… could see I'd been out all night. And she's like way old! So, what was with the happy-happy crap? She acted like she didn't give a damn. Doesn't she? Then why is she practically ripping my clothes off every chance she gets? Is she just like Randi McNympho now? Use me and toss me? Is that it? What, is she channeling ME now? Am I like a toy to her? Play with me awhile until she gets bored, then shelf me?_

Faith makes a rude noise, and stops at the light, waiting for it to change. She taps her foot impatiently.

_Then she turns around and does these things that make me think there's more to it. She thinks I don't she's getting Joyce to slip some money in my pocket? I mean what, it just suddenly appears there? She doesn't want me to feel like I'm sponging, or having to ask for it. Can you say, really sweet? And when I walk into a room, I can see her brighten up a little, like she's happy to see me. And when we patrol, she's always checking to be sure I'm ok, when _I'm _the slayer, and her ass is a lot more likely to get hurt. God, I got a cut on my side from some frisky vamp, and I swear she almost tore my t-shirt off to be sure I wasn't hurt badly. Not complaining, mind you, but it was in public! Who's she kidding? She thinks I don't know she watches me sleep? God, what is more boring than watching someone sleep, unless you feel something for them?_

_So, if she does care, why the Kathy Lee act today? Why was she so damned…perky? She acted like it was the greatest damned thing I dragged my ass in after sleeping with Willow all night. I know she knows. She'd have to be blind not to know. What is her deal?_

_GAAAH. I'm going back to men. I swear. Their stupid, hairy, insensitive louts. But at least, they're easy to figure. Lay back, open your legs, and hey, they're happy. No fuss, no muss and just remember to take your pill. Easy._

Faith looks up, and realizes she's almost passed the Magic Box.

_Damn. I need another 10 miles to get a handle on this. Oh, forget it. You'll never figure her out._

Faith, feeling a little pissy now, pushes her way into the Magic Box.

Rupert Giles looks up when the little bell over the door rings. He sees his slayer stride to the counter, leaning on the glass.

" Good Morning, Faith. "

" Yeah, sure, whatever."

_Oh, dear. I see someone took her grumpy pills this morning. _

" Dare I ask how you are?"

" I'm looking for Blondie. What does that tell you?"

" That those black clouds swirling over your head followed you in, and aren't just a spell gone terribly wrong," Giles deadpans.

Faith looks at him, then snorts. Her face brightens to a half-grin.

" Yeah, well, I swear. I'll never figure her out. If I live as long a vampire, I'll never get her." Faith shakes her head.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

" Would you really want to know?"

" Ah, yes, personal then, is it?" Giles asks mildly.

"Sorta, yes." Faith says, then throws her hands up in disgust. " I swear, that girls runs hot and cold. I never have a clue to where her head is, from one minute to the next. It bugs the hell out of me!"

" Let's see. She's a young woman, and she's rather mercurial. How droll."

" I'm sorry, was there English in there somewhere?"

" She's moody."

" Funny, Giles. You're a laugh riot. But I'm a young woman too, and I don't change my moods every 10 seconds. What's her deal, anyway?"

" Well, she's been through a lot…"

" And so have I."

"… and she's still coming to terms with what she's been through, and what she did. Remember Faith, you've had a few years to figure things out. She's had a month? Maybe you should be a little more patient."

" Look, Giles, I get the weirdness, ok? I've got my own brand going. What I don't get is the friendly one minute, distant the next minute, acting like I'm important, and turning around and treating me like some toy. What's her deal?"

Giles cleans his glasses.

" I see. Is something else going on here, Faith?"

Faith looks at him with a ' get a clue, Giles' look.

" Never mind, Giles. I don't have time to write you a book on it. Is she here?"

" I assume you mean Buffy, and yes, she's in the back room."

" Peaches, " Faith says, looking at the curtain to the back room. She stands, tapping her foot, arms crossed. " Oh the hell with it, lets just get this over with." She marches towards the back room. She stops halfway, and turns around.

" How was she, Giles? I mean, was she ok? Or acting weird?"

" As far as I could discern, she seemed to be alright."

" She wasn't upset, or giggling or anything, was she?"

"Er… no."

" Ok, " Faith turns back to the curtain. " Thanks."

She walks through it.

" And so, the wackiness continues, " Giles says to himself as he returns to his ledgers.

10

Faith stands behind the curtain, looking into the backroom from behind the doorway. She sees Buffy sitting on the bench, turned a little away from her. She tries to suss out her mood. And for a second, she gets a flash that she's not looking at Buffy at all, but just at someone who looks exactly like her.

_Ok, Faith, aren't things weird enough? You have to make up weird?_

Faith pushes herself into the room, striding quickly towards the bench.

" Heya, Buff, " She says, stopping a few feet from Buffy.

Buffy looks up, and smiles. She stands up, and looks Faith over.

_Ok, Faith. It's Buffy. Stop the wigging in your head._

" Well, you cleaned up nicely, " Buffy smiles, coming over and circling her, " yes, much better now."

" Look, Buff… about last night…"

Buffy runs her finger down Faith's arm.

" So, did you have fun?" Buffy asks. She moves a little closer, laying her hand on Faith's arm.

" Fun?"

" Willow seems to think you had fun." Buffy smiles. " I know for a fact she was all blushy and smiley face this morning."

" Look, Buffy, it wasn't like that…."

" It wasn't?" Buffy's brows raise, " You two didn't get sweaty last night?"

" Well, ok, it was like _that,_" Faith says, " But it wasn't like…serious."

" You just pretended?" Buffy looks confused. " How do you pretend to have sex?"

" Geeze, no Buffy. I meant, it didn't mean anything."

" Oh, I don't know 'bout that, " Buffy moves in front of her, and her hands glide up Faith's arms, resting on her shoulders. "Willow seemed to think it meant something. She was all giggly and smiling this morning. Musta meant something. Couldn't have been terrible."

" I mean, I don't love her, Buffy. That's what I'm trying to say."

" Well, silly girl, who said you did?" Buffy smiles at her, and her hands seem to magically clasp around the back of Faith's neck, "but she surely was one happy girl this morning." Buffy leans in and kisses Faith softly on the lips. " Thank you, " She smiles as she breaks the kiss.

" Thank you?" Faith shakes her head. " Did I miss something here?" Faith feels her lips tingling from the little kiss.

" Faith, weren't you paying attention that morning when we talked about it? At the breakfast table? Remember? I wanted you to … well… comfort her."

Faith blinks. " Huh?" _I really wish she'd stop rubbing my neck. I can't think real good when she does that._

" Faith, I told you. Will's been alone for a long time. She really needed some sweet touch. And honey, you gave it to her. I think she said something like… hmmm… cute, adorable, damned hot… " Buffy leans in, whispering in her ear. " I can really see that for myself."

_What is she doing? And god, she is turning me on!_

" You don't mind I slept with Willow?" Faith asks, sweating a little." I thought you might be a little pissed."

" Of course not, silly. I've been pushing you two together for a couple of weeks now, don't you know?" Buffy rubs herself up against Faith. _Holy shit_ Faith shivers_ is she trying to make me crazy?_ Buffy then pushes away from Faith and moves away a little. " Of course, I really didn't think things would get quite so…heated last night, " Buffy has come around Faith, and now is leaning into her. Her arms circle Faith's waist. " I was maybe kinda just a little hurt that I've been trying to get your motor revving for awhile, and she seemed to start you right up, " Buffy nibbles on Faith's ear. " But hey… if that's what it takes." Her hands rub Faith's belly.

_Oh geeze oh man_ Faith feels tingles running out of control in her.

" I was beginning to think you didn't like me at all Faith" Buffy presses herself closer to Faith. " Don't you like me?"

_Like isn't exactly the word I was thinking, Buff. Whew!_

"Buffy, it's not like that at all. I just…feel differently about you… than I feel about Willow… "

" Mmmm, " Buffy coos softly, rubbing her pelvis against Faith. " I think you feel nice."

_Oh, crap. _Faith is getting a major down low tickle, with a side of tingles.

" Really nice, " Buffy purrs, leaning her head on Faith's back. Her hands slide up, and cup Faith's breasts.

_Ahhh… ahhh… man!_

Faith breaks away, panting heavily. " Geeze, Buff!"

" Oh for god's sake, " Buffy sounds angry and hurt, " What the hell IS it , Faith?" She storms off, sitting down on the bench, facing away from Faith. " What the hell do I have to do to make you interested? Let you know I'm willing? Tell me, I'm really not getting it here at all!"

" Buffy, no… it's not like that at all, " Faith comes over to her, kneeling beside her.

" Well, what _IS _it then, Faith? What is it? Do you know how it feels when you do this? Do you?"

" Buffy… you're not going to hit me again, are you?"

" Why bother? You don't respond, so what's the use?" Buffy gets up, walking towards the entrance. She turns around. " I'm trying my hardest to let you know how I feel about you, and you keep shoving it back in my face. I'm an idiot! Why do I even bother? It's pretty damned clear you don't give a crap about me! " She feels tears coming. " No, I won't let you make me cry again. Damn you, Faith. Damn you!" She cries anyway.

" Buffy, no, don't, " Faith rushes over to her, holding her arms. " I care about you. A lot."

"" Well, you really show it in a funny way. Every time I try to let you know I want you to touch me, you run like a goddamn … shit. Maybe I should die my hair red. Maybe that's it. I don't know what it is, but I try to get you interested, and you show me you don't want me. Will kisses you, and damn you can't get her in bed fast enough. Why? WHY?"

" Because, Buffy, I love you!" Faith declares. _Oh shit, did I just say that?_

Buffy stands looking at her, blinking . " You love me?" she almost whispers.

" Yes, I LOVE YOU. Is that clear enough?" Faith pulls her closer. " With Willow, it was just sex. Ok, really great sex, but sex. I didn't care what happened. But I love _you_, Ms. Buffy make me crazy nuts Summers, and it matters to me, a lot, that it's perfect. When I'm with you, and damn you, Blondie, I'm gonna be with you, I want it to be right. Perfect. I want you to know, without any fucking doubts, what I'm feeling when I touch you. Get that? "

" You love me?" Buffy repeats, as if she can't believe it. " Love me, love me?"

Faith snorts. " Are you listening to me at all?"

" I was with you up to you saying I love you" Buffy looks a little starry eyed.

Faith slides her arms around Buffy's waist. " So, what do you think about that, then?" She asks softly.

Buffy doesn't say anything. Her arms slide around Faith's neck, and her lips start to cover Faith's face with kisses. Lots and lots of kisses.

" I'm taking it this is your way of saying that idea doesn't upset you?" Faith is almost giggling.

" Stupid kiss silly kiss goof kiss ! Do you kiss kiss know how much kiss kiss I've wanted kiss kiss kiss to hear that? Do you kiss have any idea kiss kiss how happy kiss that makes me? kiss kiss kiss kiss "

_I'm getting the idea… oh… yeah… I really think I'm getting the idea…_

" I'm kinda getting the idea, " Faith pants, then she cups Buffy's face, and kisses her.

Their mouths open almost simultaneously, and their tongues intertwine. Buffy's hands slide over Faith's shoulders, and then around her back, and then all over her back and ass. Faith for her part slides her hands down Buffy's sides, and onto her sweet little butt, and pulls her closer.

They stand there for awhile, caressing each other, tongues darting playfully into each other's mouths. The kiss seems to last forever, and that's way to short for either of them.

" Geeze, Buff," Faith pants. _Crap, I think this pair of panties is shot._

" Mmmm… now that was nice, " Buffy says. She starts to kiss Faith's neck. Her hands start to rub Faith's ass.

" Uhhh… Buff." Faith says throatily. She grabs Buffy's hands, and pulls them off her butt.

" What?" Buffy looks at her. Maybe a little hurt.

" No, baby. Nothing like that. But if you keep that up, I'm gonna need to lay down soon… and that bench doesn't look that comfortable."

" Oh," Buffy blushes.

_Ok, can she get any more adorable?_

Buffy laces her fingers through Faiths, and they kiss tiny little kisses. Buffy pulls away, and gets a sexy shy look on her face.

" What?" Faith says, leaning in to continue.

" I know a nice comfy place we can lie down on…" Buffy blushes, lowering her lids.

_Answer. Yes, she can get more adorable!_

" Oh?" Faith whispers. " Where would that be?"

Buffy leans close, and whispers, her lips almost touching Faith's " My room" She kisses her softly.

The kiss breaks. They look at each other and smile.

They don't want to let go of each other, and they don't want to face the questioning looks from Giles, so they leave by the alley exit.

The door to the Revello drive house opens, and the two girls peer in, Faith's head over Buffy's.

" You think you're mom's home?" Faith whispers.

They listen for a second.

" No, I think she's at the gallery." Buffy whispers back.

" Ok."

The door opens wider and the two slip in, shutting the door after.

Like magnets, the two come together, kissing and groping each other. Little murmurs and mewlings emerge from the pair. Buffy climbs up onto Faith's hips, wrapping her legs around her, and the kissing and caressing continues.

" I really, really need you naked," Buffy whispers to Faith.

" Mmmm. Me too…" Faith whispers back. " Why're we whispering?"

Buffy just giggles, and kisses her.

They stumble towards the staircase, Faith carrying the little blond on her waist.

" Buffy, honey, " Faith sounds muffled, her mouth covered by Buffy's " I love you're hot little body, but I really need to see now."

" You poop, " Buffy says, but she slides off Faith's hips. Faith sweeps her up, and Buffy giggles, tossing her arm over Faith's shoulders. " Why suh, " She affects a southern accent, " Ah you gonna take advantage of lil ole me?"

" You bet you're sweet ass, Scarlett, " Faith says," As many times as I can." She brings her hand up and gooses Buffy's ass.

Buffy squeals, and giggles as Faith carries her upstairs.

The door to Buffy's bedroom bursts open, and Faith sweeps her inside. Buffy slides out of her arms, and they're groping and kissing again. Along with a lot of body rubbing.

Finally, reluctantly they break away, and Faith starts to pull off her t-shirt.

Buffy coughs. Faith looks up questioningly, and Buffy is standing in front of her, arms raised over her head. Her hips are swaying back and forth.

" What?" Faith asks, enjoying the picture.

" Well, " Buffy says demurely, " I was hoping you'd undress me." She lowers her eyes blushing prettily.

_And somehow, even more adorable!_

Faith comes up behind her, and slides her tube top over her head. Her fingers brush Buffy's nipples on the way, and Buffy gasps and shudders. Faith looks over her shoulder, and notices Buffy's nipples are tilted up and standing proud.

"Geeze, Buffy. " She says, a little awed.

"See what you do to me, lover?" Buffy says, rubbing her butt against Faith's groin.

_Not even half of what you're doing to me!_

Faith kisses Buffy's neck.

_Mmmm,_ Buffy sighs, _Liking that a whole lot._

Faith's hands come up and cup Buffy's breasts, her thumbs gently flicking the nipples

_Mmmmmm … loving that… do that AGAIN!_

" Do that again, baby," Buffy sighs, leaning into Faith. Faith grins and complies.

Buffy sighs loudly

"MMmmm… you make me sooo hot," Buffy breathes.

Faith reaches down, unbuttoning the waist on Buffy's skirt. She unzips it, and it puddles at Buffy's feet.

" God, you're not wearing panties!" Faith cries.

" I was hoping to get lucky," Buffy giggles. She steps out of her skirt, and rubs her butt against Faith. " Mmmm. feeling real lucky"

Buffy slithers around in Faith's arms, and after a couple of very warm kisses, she tugs on Faith's t-shirt, pulling it out from her pants. She starts to lift it up, and Faith raises her arms to help. Tossing it away, she looks at Faith's bra.

" Naw, this'll never do, " She coos. She rubs her hand over the bra, and Faith just sighs.

_God… god, god … and good god, what is she doing?_

Buffy has slipped her small hands under Faith's bra, rubbing her breasts. Giggling, she takes them out, and reaches around, unhooking Faith's bra quickly.

" Somebody's had some practice. You sure you've only done this one time before?"

Buffy just giggles. She pulls off Faith's bra, and then looks at Faith's breasts hungrily. She licks her lips.

Faith shivers. Buffy's obvious enjoyment gives her a major tickle deep down low.

Buffy brings her hands to Faith's breasts, and begins to massage them. Faith lets out a little whimper, and then sighs. Buffy lifts her breasts, her thumbs rubbing over Faith's hardening nipples.

" May I?" Buffy asks, looking up into Faith's eyes.

Faith notices how large Buffy's eyes seem. She feels her heart flutter.

" No one's saying no, " Faith says, hoarsely, " and if they do, I'll punch them."

Buffy chuckles, then lowers her head to Faith's breast. Her tongue shoots out, and she flicks back and forth over Faith's nipple and areola. Faith moans. Buffy takes the nipple in her mouth, suckling it, and Faith shivers. She bites it gently, and Faith's hips rock forward. Noticing that, Buffy does it again. Same reaction. She keeps biting.

" Geeze, Buffy, you're making me … oh shit!" She cries softly as a wave of intense pleasure hits her. Her panties are soaked, and she can feel her thighs are wet. Her legs are very, very shaky. Buffy looks up, smiling, nipple still between her teeth.

" Did you?" She mumbles.

" I think so, Damn!"

Buffy giggles, and starts suckling her again. She wraps her arms around Faith, and Faith's hand holds her head to her breast.

_What is the girl doing to me?_

Faith feels Buffy lower hands, rubbing gently over her ass. She feels like she's in heaven, her whole body warm and her breathing coming harder.

_Shit, I'm not even naked yet, and she's made me cum. And working on the next one, the bitch_

Faith reaches around Buffy, and starts caressing her back and ass. Buffy wiggles around, sighing at Faith's touch.

" No, no, no… no fair unless you're naked too!" Buffy mumbles. She pulls away from Faith, her lips smacking as her mouth leaves Faith's breast. She fiddles with Faith's belt, and then loosens it. She unzips her jeans, and pushes them off her hips. She kneels down, pulling Faith's jeans halfway down.

" Damn, girl. We forgot your boots." She starts to reach for them as Faith leans over to pull them off.

" I got it, Buffy… ooh… ohhhhh…. " Faith overbalances, then overcompensates and falls back on her butt.

Buffy giggles, and Faith makes a face at her.

" Ow, that hurt!" She cries. Then she starts to laugh.

" Awww… did Faithy fall down go boom?" Buffy crawls over. " Lemme see."

" Buffy, get away," Faith laughs, as she struggles with her boots.

" Lemme see… wanna see the boo-boo"

" Boo-boo my ass, " Faith says, getting a boot off. She works on the other boot.

" Exactly," Buffy giggles. She pushes on Faith, exposing her butt." Where'd you hit?"

" Oh my ass, girl, " Faith laughs, finally managing to get the other boot off.

Buffy smiles wickedly, the pulling down Faith's panties, leans over and kisses her just above her ass crevice. Faith nearly jumps.

" Damn, Buffy, what the hell are you doing?"

" Kissing the boo-boo" Buffy giggles.

Faith starts panting again as Buffy starts to kiss more of the boo-boo. Then she giggles when Buffy bites the boo-boo.

" So, liking my butt, huh?"

" It's pretty." Buffy paddles her.

" HEY!" Faith protests, then says " hey" softly when Buffy kisses where she paddled. " God, you're a nut!"

" Nuh-uh. No nuts here. Just a peach, " Buffy slides a finger between Faith's thighs.

" JESUS, BUFFY ! " Faith squeals, then start crawling away. Her jeans around her calves impede her progress. Buffy catches the jeans, pulling them off.

" Oooo, pretty," Buffy admires Faith's wiggling butt. She goes after her, grabbing her around her thighs. She gives Faith a long slow lick.

" OH… geeezze… Buffy!" Faith hisses, loving that lick.

Holding Faith tightly, Buffy's licks get more serious, and Faith's butt gets really wriggly. Then its rocking back and forth, and Faith starts moaning loudly.

" Geeze… Buffy… oh.. OH… oh yeah ooooh godohgod oh god… aohh ahhhh ahhhh oh DAMN!" She yells, her body hit by wave after wave of pleasure. Buffy looks up, her work rewarded by a face covered in sweet juice. Faith groans….and shudders… and is hit by more waves.

Faith just lies there, her head to the side. She sees Buffy peek around her, and notices her face is wet.

" I just love peaches, " Buffy licks her lips. Then she crawls up and kisses Faith, deeply.

_I think I'm gonna die. I really think she's gonna kill me before it's over_

Faith pushes herself up, and glares at Buffy.

" You…. I'm so gonna get you" She reaches for her.

Buffy wiggles away, and gets up.

" Gotta catch me first… WHOAAA!"

Buffy didn't count on slayer speed, and Faith scoops her up. She carries her to the bed, and drops her on the mattress. She jumps on beside her, then gathers Buffy in her arms. She pulls her in, and they kiss…and kiss… and oh they kiss.

" Mmm.. think I'm loving this, " Buffy coos softly.

They kiss again, tongue dancing in their mouths, their hands rubbing each other all over. Buffy curls up to Faith, and they cuddle.

Faith stops, and pulls away.

"What is it, baby?" Buffy sounds worried.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and looks at her back. She sees the crisscrossed scars all over it.

" What're these, honey?"

" No, don't look!" Buffy rolls over on her back. She turns her head away, crossing her arms over herself.

" Baby, what?"

" It's so ugly. I'm so ugly," Buffy cries.

" No, baby, no" Faith moves to her, drawing her into her arms. She looks into Buffy's eyes." You're beautiful, love. I just felt them, and didn't know what they were. I didn't want to hurt you, is all."

" You think I'm beautiful? " Buffy looks into Faith's eyes. Her bottom lip quivers. " No you don't. You're just saying that!"

" You're beautiful, Buffy, " Faith plants small warm kisses on Buffy's face. " you're very, very beautiful. " She covers Buffy's face with sweet kisses.

Buffy sighs, happily. " You really think I'm beautiful?" Buffy's voice sounds childlike.

" Very beautiful, Buff. You're so beautiful, " Faith kisses her, her hand wandering all over Buffy's front, " that I get wet just looking at you."

" Oh Faith, oh honeee, " Buffy wraps her arms around her. " I love you so much"

They kiss, Buffy sucking on Faith's tongue. Faith draws in Buffy's tongue, and sucks on it.

Faith rolls Buffy over, and climbs on her, straddling her.

Buffy looks up at her and smiles.

" You like it up there, don't you? On top?"

" Don't hate it, but I don't mind you being on top either. You got me so wet that night, when you were so sexily dressed… I know I ran away… but… god when I went to bed, I had to…" Faith blushes.

" Really? I did that to you?" Buffy smiles.

" Oh god, you … man… it was so intense."

Buffy reaches up, and pulls Faith down into another kiss . Faith starts rubbing her body against Buffy, and Buffy sighs into her mouth.

They break the kiss, staring into each other's eyes.

" Love me? Please, Faith , love me!"

" I do, baby, I love you sooo much."

Faith starts covering her with wet soft kisses. Buffy's head lolls back as Faith moves down her, touching ever little inch of her upper body with her lips.

_God, it feels like my nerves are popping,_ Buffy sighs as Faith continues her lip caresses.

" You got such cute lil boobies," Faith giggles. " I just adore your lil boobies. They're so perky!"

" Thanks, that usually means flat chested" Buffy growls.

" Mmmm…no way" Faith surrounds Buffy's nipple with her mouth, and pulls on it. Buffy groans loudly

" GOD YESSSSS!"

Faith bites the nipple.

" HARDER BABY HARDER!" Buffy cries.

Faith does, then pulls on the nipple. Buffy wriggles under her in pleasure

Faith's eyes go wicked; with the nipple in her teeth, shakes her head.

" OH MY GOD! DO THAT AGAIN I LOVE IT" Buffy screams.

Faith grabs her other nipple and repeats it. Buffy starts moaning, her body wriggling on the bed. Faith keeps worrying Buffy's nipple with her mouth, loving Buffy's reaction. Buffy grabs the sheets, and lets out a loud scream as her body shudders. Faith keeps it up and Buffy's body starts to rock on the bed. She screams again and again, her body writhing under Faith. Then she stiffens, her whole body arches, and she lies still.

Faith panics a little.

" honey? HONEY? ARE YOU OK?"

" Fuck YESSS" "Buffy croaks out. " God my nipples are like super sensitive, you … god I love you" Her arms reach up and pulls Faith back down into a long hot and wet kiss. They break, and their hands caress each other.

Faith's grin gets wicked again, and she's on Buffy again, licking her soft skin. Buffy lays back, just loving the way Faith is making her feel. Faith moves down, and then further…and further… and then she's licking Buffy's fuzzy lil peach.

Buffy goes limp on the bed as Faith sends wonderful hot little fires coursing through her bloodstream. When her peach opens for Faith's loving tongue, Buffy's head goes back, and her eyes close in utter pleasure.

" Yes… ummm hmmm… just like that… oooooo… yeessss….good … oh GOD…ooohh… ohhh… ohhh…OHHH… B-B-BABY yes that right there right there yesss oh baby yesssss god oh mygod I … oh FAITH …FAITH…FAAAAAIIITTHHHH! YEEEAAAAHHH OOOOHHHHH YAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Buffy's slim body almost jumps off the bed as she's hit with a Flood of pleasure. Her head rocks back and forth, and hips keep bouncing and boucing. Faith has to hold on to her not to get knocked off.

Buffy gets a brief calm and then another wave hits her that makes the last one look like a ripple. Every nerve in her body seems to explode, and she almost passes out, her brain is so overloaded. Her body rocks and bounces and Faith just rolls away, afraid that she'll hurt her if she doesn't. Finally, she calms down, and Faith moves over, and wraps her tight in her arms.

They look at each other, Buffy's jaw slack. Faith reaches down and rubs her belly.

" Who would thought so much noise could come from this teeny tiny body, " She laughs.

" You … monster!" Buffy giggles, and throws her arms around her, pulling her in for a loving kiss.

They were no where near done. They spent hours and hours exploring each other, each stimulating the other's creativity to find more and different ways to pleasure each other. The sun was down for hours before they stopped. And that was only because both finally ran out of energy. Tangled in bed sheets and each other's arms, they slept.

Joyce, downstairs, turns up the TV volume to drown out the noise.

"Goodness," She shakes her head, as another cry is heard from upstairs. She blushes a little." Where do they get it? I wish I had half that energy."

11

Willow Rosenberg looks at the stack of bills, and sighs.

Looking at the account balance on her laptop, she wonders how she's going to pay this batch. The only bright spot is that there is some hope of placing Tara in a low cost state sponsored care facility. As Buffy had told her to, she called Joyce Summers and talked with her about it, and it sounded good. Really good. She'd said it wasn't 100 guaranteed, but there was a good chance, a very good chance, of getting Tara in. For the first time in months, Willow felt as if a huge boulder had been lifted off her.

Still, she had these bills to get through, and she wasn't sure how she was going to manage. Dad's check helped, but it didn't really cover. The night job sort of covered the difference, but things were tight, really tight. _I might just have to take another semester off next year to catch up again. Damn!…but what choice have I got?_

At least, it looked like now she might be able to complete her degree. And she owed it to Buffy.

But that is another thing worrying her tonight. Buffy. And the weird way she'd left her. And that weird warning she'd given Willow. _What did she mean, she'd hurt me and everybody?_ It had bothered Willow all day. Everything had been fine until we talked about Faith loving her. Then she freaked, and ran out. _Damaged goods. That's what she called herself. She still's blaming herself for what Spike did to her. God, I'd love to pull that vamps teeth out of his mouth with a pair of pliers. Or an ice pick. But that really isn't the issue. What did she mean she'd hurt everyone. How?_

She is still trying to puzzle it out when she hears a knock at the door. She gets up, wondering who it was at this time of night, when the knocking gets louder, more insistent. Puzzled, she looks through the peephole, then opens the door.

" Yes, can I help… wait, I know you, don't I? RIGHT! You're Ford, Buffy's friend!" She smiles and steps back. " Did you want to come in? Buffy's not here…"

" Actually, I was hoping you'd come out. It's about Buffy. She's missing." Ford says.

Willow gets a chill in her tummy.

For the first time, she notices how pale he is.

" Missing? Ford, what's going on?"

"We were going to go to lunch, but she came by and said she had to cancel, that she and Faith were going on a nest hunt. I should've been suspicious right away, because she was acting a little strange. I mean, not like talking to herself strange, but she seemed … off. Anyway, I said ok. But as time passed, thinking about how she'd been acting, I got suspicious. So I called her house, and Faith happened to be there. There was no nest hunt. I told Faith what Buffy told me, and after swearing a blue streak, she said she'd call Giles, and asked if I'd get you. We're going to meet downtown, and look for her."

" Geeze, I can't believe Buffy would go after a nest alone…" But then Willow remembered the strangeness from this morning. _God, what if she did go alone? What if she wanted to… oh god!_

" Wait, let me get my coat." Willow says. She retreats, and a minute later she's back, slipping into her coat. " Let's go!"

As the walk down the steps towards Ford's car, Willow turns to him. " You said she was acting weird. How?"

" I don't know. It just was like she was distracted. She seemed nervy and jumpy, and seemed to be feeling guilty about something." Ford's face furrows." God, I only hope she's going to be ok!"

" Me, too, " Willow says, falling into a muse.

_What if she …god, she was so convinced she was damaged goods. What if she went against the nest for revenge, and didn't want Faith there? Or… what if she went to prove her worth to Faith. She was thinking she was damaged…_

Willow is so distracted she never even sees the chloroform-soaked cloth coming. She struggles briefly, but the fumes soon overcome her.

Ford gently lowers Willow to the ground. Sticking the rag in his pocket, he pulls out a roll of duct tape. He binds her hands and feet, and puts some over her mouth. Stowing that, he picks her up, and carries her to his car. Opening the back seat, he puts her in, covering her with a blanket.

He closes the door, and whistling to himself, gets in the car. It soon pulls out and disappears down the road.

12

Buffy lays quietly in the dark, watching Faith sleep.

_My sweet beautiful goddess, my loving moon goddess_.

She carefully extracts herself from Faith's arms, slipping quietly out of her bed. She stands for a moment, naked, looking down at Faith. Her whole body seems to shiver in lust as she looks at her._ So sweet, so very, very sweet._ She leans over, and kisses her softly on the lips.

"mmmm… Buff? " Faith mumbles, drowsily. " What?"

" Shhh… baby, go back to sleep. Just gotta go pee…unless you wanna watch?"

"You're evil, you know that?" Faith mutters, snuggling down.

" Sleep, precious, sleep. I'll be back soon." She whispers.

She watches until she's sure Faith is asleep again, then she picks up her clothing off the floor, draping it over the vanity chair. Quietly, so not to disturb Faith, she goes to her closet. She closes the door behind her, and turns on the light. Rummaging through her things, she picks out a pair of black leather pants and a black mesh see through top. She grabs a pair of boots off the floor, then extinguishes the light.

Looking over at Faith, she smiles when she sees she's still sleeping. She goes over to the vanity, and picks up a few bottles and jars. She quietly tiptoes to the door, and slips through it.

Listening in the hallway, she hears the TV going downstairs. _Good, she's not up here yet_. Buffy slips into the bathroom, and after closing the door, she flips on the light.

She takes a quick shower, and towels off. Still nude, she applies makeup, paying particular care to her eyes and lips. Liking the results, she leans over and kisses the mirror._ Mmmm… not as nice as Faith's lips, but it'll do._

She wriggles into the leather pants, and pulls on the top. She takes a quick glance in the mirror, approves, and then quietly lets herself out.

_Good, still watching the TV. Hope it's a good show, mom!_ She giggles to herself. She carefully makes her way to her bedroom, and slips in.

She watches the sleeping Faith for awhile, her heart beating fast in her chest. _God, she's sooo…_ Buffy sighs. Shaking herself, she quietly slips to the window, and opens it.

She takes one final look at Faith.

_Soon my love, we'll leave this all behind. We'll be together, away from this madness. Together in each other's arms._

_Forever!_

She quietly slips out the window.

13

Willow comes awake as they're carrying her upstairs.

She's being hauled up by two people, each holding on to an arm. She wants to scream, but can't because her mouth is gagged. She soon realizes that her hands and feet are bound too.

_What? Where am I? What happened…Ford! That …he knocked me out. But why? He's Buffy's friend. What's going on? Why'd they kidnap me?_ Even though she knows It's useless, she struggles against her captors.

" Don't struggle, Willow. It won't help, and only make it harder on you," Ford says from behind her. " We'll be there soon."

_You son of a bitch!_ Willow thinks to herself as she's dragged upstairs,_ If I get out of this, I'm so gonna…what? What're you going to do, Will? Damn! I wish Faith was here… or Buffy. God!_

They reach the top of the stairs, and drag her through a set of double doors. Her heart almost falls out of her chest when she looks down. _There's no floor! Where's the floor!_ Then she realizes a floor is there, it's just clear. _God, what IS this place?_

They haul her into the center of the room, and put her on the round platform They carefully remove the tape gag.

Willow screams.

" Screaming won't help, Willow. No one will hear you. and even if they did, no one would come rescue you." Ford says, sitting next to her. " Are you alright? Are the cuffs too tight? We can adjust them."

" You son of a BITCH!" Willow spits on him. " I thought you were Buffy's friend. Why'd you do this? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Shhh… calm down, Willow," Ford says, smiling." No one's going to hurt you. All your questions will be answered in time by the Mistress."

Ford looks up, and it's then that Willow notices the small blond woman standing, back to her, seeming to be looking at the floor. She notices she's wearing dark leather pants and a top of some kind.

_God, if I didn't know better, I'd swear that's…_

The woman turns around, and smiles.

_BUFFY!_

" Buffy! Oh my god! Are you alright? We've got to get OUT of here!"

Buffy walks over to her, and sits by her. She puts an arm around Willow, and strokes her thigh with the other hand.,

" Now, Willow. Why would I want to do that?"

To be continued


	10. Chapter 10

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 10

Disclaimer: The characters that appeared on the TV Show " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" that appear in this story are the sole property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. All original characters, and the story itself, are the property of the author. This story is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any person, alive or dead is coincidence. Ok, enough lawyer talk.

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."  
_Mark Twain_

1

Willow feels a cold chill run down her spine.

Buffy looks at Ford and the two vamps that carried Willow upstairs.

" You boys can go. Willow and I need some time alone." When they hesitate, she becomes sterner. " GO!"

They leave through the entrance quickly

" Buffy, I don't understand. What's going on? Why was I brought here? Why are you here? Where_ is _here?"

Buffy smiles at her, but her face has a slightly worried look.

" You're shaking, Willow," Buffy hugs her, " Are you scared, honey? Do you think I'd let anything or anyone hurt you?"

" Yeah, I'm scared, Buff. You're friend Ford kidnaps me out of my home, I'm knocked out and wake up when they're dragging me up here… wherever here is … and I find _you_ here, dressed like that" She looks at Buffy's outfit, " Ummm. How'm I supposed to feel?"

" But it's me, Will. Buffy. What do you have to be afraid of?" Buffy pulls her close, cuddling her. "I'm sorry how you were brought here like that, but if I'd asked, would you have come?"

" Gee, I don't know Buffy, but thing is, you didn't ask me!" Willow says. " You freak me out by having me knocked out and brought here, and I'm kind of not getting why. Why didn't you ask?"

" I told you, Will, you might not have come, and I need you here. " Buffy cups her face, turning to hers. " Look at me Will… it's me, Buffy. Look in my eyes, honey. Would I do anything, ever, to harm you?"

Willow notices how large Buffy's eyes seem; how bright they are. She can almost feel them take her in, hold her, comfort her.

"N-N-No, I guess not, Buffy… but…"

" Will, do you trust me?"

She's still looking into Buffy's eyes, and she feels as if a thousand arms cradle her, hold her, make her feel safe and warm and loved.

" Of course I trust you, Buffy, " Willow says, feeling a little lost. " I … I was just a little wigged, is all."

I know, I know, " Buffy says softly. She looks down at Willow's restraints. " We don't really need those, do we? I trust you not to try to run away."

Willow looks down, seeing the wrist and leg restraints. " No" She looks up at Buffy, " I wouldn't run"

Buffy walks over, and retrieves a set of keys from behind the bar. Returning, she kneels and unlocks Willow's leg restraints, then undoes her wrist cuffs. She returns the keys and restraints to a place behind the bar.

" Honey, can I get you something to drink? Maybe to settle your nerves a little?"

" Buffy, I just don't understand why you did this. I mean, couldn't we have talked at your place or mine? And why kidnap me? It's just so confusing".

Willow is staring down at the floor, fascinated by what's happening below. Buffy returns, glass in hand. She hands it to Willow.

" Here you go, sweetie, " She says, sitting next to Willow.

Willow takes the glass, and takes a sip. Liking the flavor, she drinks down a bit.

" I noticed you looking at the club below. What do you think?"

" Don't really know what to think, " Willow says, drinking more of her drink. _This is really nice. _" What's the deal with the Gallery up top and all?"

" Oh, it's where some members gather to watch the action below. Think of it like the catwalks in the Bronze. A way to watch but get away from the noise and heat and all."

" What's the deal with the people on costume? They look like refugees from those terrible old vampire flicks" Willow giggles, drinking more of her drink. _Really good!_

Buffy puts her hand on Willow's neck, lightly stroking it with her fingers.

" Oh, they're poseurs. You know, into the vamp thing. Figure they'll hang around a place like this, meet the ' lonely ones' as they refer to them. Kind of a joke, really, " Buffy smiles down. " So , how're you feeling, Will? Better?

Willow thinks about it a second. _Yeah. Better. Good. Really good._

" Actually, feeling pretty good, " She smiles brightly.

Willow notices the big screen TV's hanging off the Gallery, playing old vampire movies. She looks at Buffy, head cocked.

" What kind of club did you say this is, again?"

" I didn't actually. It's a vampire club."

" Whoa!" Willow stands up. She looks a little taken aback." Geeze, Buff… Maybe we should go… " She looks down at the floor below, fascinated. " … really?"

" Don't worry, honey, you're safe here. There are strict rules enforced in this club. No eating the humans. Very, very strictly enforced. It's really a sanctuary… where humans and vampires can mix safely."

" Really?" Willow looks at Buffy fascinated. Then doubt clouds her face, " But… how do you know that? I mean, they could be lying…" She looks down.

" I own the club Will. My word goes."

Willow looks at her, wide eyed. " You own it? How? Why?"

" Back as a Vampire, I created the club. Think of it as a kind of game preserve, at least from the vampire's point of view. They can look at all the pretty people, but they know they're protected. For people, it's a way to get to know vampires, and their culture. There's always…" She points at some of the costumed people,"… those who are fascinated by it all."

" Gee… it's kind of weird," Willow frowns. Then she smiles." But cool." She seems fascinated by the action below.

"Did you want another drink, Will? Looks like you're getting dry …"

" Yeah, thanks Buff, " Willow says, a little distractedly. She holds out the glass in Buffy's direction. Buffy takes it, heading back to the bar. " So, you like own it, own it? Even now?"

" Uh-huh, " Buffy says, pouring her a drink. " See, I really feel close to you, Will. I mean, we've been through a lot together. We've shared a lot over the years. I wanted to share this with you." She hands Willow the drink. She squats down next to her. "So, what do you think?"

Willow takes a healthy swallow of her drink.

" I dunno what to think, Buff… I mean… vampires and all…"

" Vampires aren't just killers, Will. They have a culture and traditions … just like humans. " Buffy takes Willow's hand, lacing her fingers through hers. " How're you doing hon? Feeling better now?"

Willow looks up at her and smiles. " Oh yeah, much. I'm glad you brought me!" Willow says, not remembering how she got here. She looks around the room. " Wow, so what's this place?"

" Oh, I guess you could call it my office/ getaway place. That's the reason for the special floor. So I could keep an eye on things without actually being down there. I'd bring guests up here. I called it my playroom."

"Playroom, huh?" Willow gets a wicked smile on her face." So, what kind of playing did you do up here?"

" Oh, we had all sorts of fun up here, " Buffy grins back. She starts to pull Willow with her.

"Wait… wait!" Willow drains her glass, letting out a huge sigh. " That's so good! Remind me to get the recipe from you, Buff." She follows Buffy as she pulls her towards the large platform bed.

When they reach it, Buffy lets go of her hand, and hops on the bed, bouncing down on the mattress. She pats a space beside her. Willow, grinning , leaps on it next to her. She bounces around a little.

" Wow, this is huge, " She says, " You could sleep… Whoa… do you mean you had like…" Willow giggles, " Orgies?"

Buffy laughs heartily, " Sometimes, I guess you'd call it that… we'd get a few on the bed. Usually not that many… mostly just me… the girls… maybe a guest or two…"

" The girls? You had like… a coterie?"

" No, silly. Just some friends, " Buffy looks at Willow, " Would you like to meet them?"

" Really…oh… are they like" Willow makes a vamp face. Buffy laughs.

_God, she can be so adorable, sometimes._

" Vampires? Yes… but don't worry, they won't bite." _Unless you ask them to, _Buffy giggles.

" I dunno…" Willow looks worried.

" Here, wait, I've got something for you, " Buffy gets up, and enters the other room. She comes back with a little box in her hand. " Here."

Willow opens the box. It's a collar, similar to Ford's but thinner. It has the same intricate silverwork as his, set on a black background, but this one has a ring of emeralds set spaced around the color.

" For me?" Willow looks up, smiling," It's so pretty."

" It's also protection. Wear that and anyone here knows you're with me. They won't bother you. They know what'll happen if they do."

" Wow"

By now, Willow is totally relaxed. The drinks have taken effect, and she's feeling very at ease, very warm and safe.

" Here, let me put that on you…"

" Oh, Buffy…gee, I don't know. It looks like it cost a fortune… I couldn't" Willow blushes.

" You don't like it?" Buffy sounds hurt. " I got it especially for you. You're my bestest bud, Will. I wanted … never mind, I'm sorry, I'll take it back… but I kinda wanted you to have it, because the emeralds bring out your eyes. " Buffy shrugs. " Oh, well."

" But, Buffy, it's so pretty… I thought maybe you'd like to give it to Faith…"

" But I got it for you, Will, " Buffy says," and anyway, I already gave Faith something nice…" she trails off.

" Really? What?" Willow asks.

Buffy blushes furiously and smiles shyly.

" Whoa… wait… you and Faith… you guys? Oh Buffy, that's GREAT!" Willow almost throws herself at Buffy hugging her. " That's wonderful honey."

" Oh I gotta agree, Will. It was wonderful… again, and again…and again…" Buffy smiles hugely." You were right, Will. She is totally hot… and the tongue she has on her! Whew!"

They giggle both remembering Faith's talent with her tongue.

Buffy goes into some detail about her and Faith's experience. By the end, Willow is a little squirmy, and has a nice little flush going. Her eyes are bright, and she's smiling. Her look is just a little dreamy.

" Anyway, I think Faith's had plenty of nice things today. I mean, the girl's had two dynamite women in 24 hours, wouldn't you agree?"

" Yeah," Willow giggles. She looks at Buffy. " You think I'm …"

" Oh definitely, Will. You're one cute lil firecracker. Now, let me slip this on you…"

Willow sits up, turning her back to Buffy. She holds up her hair as Buffy . Buffy's lets her fingers caress Willow's neck. She shivers.

" You cold honey?" Buffy asks.

" N-No, Buff…I'm fine, " Willow says, letting her hair drop. She turns around

" Oh yeah… definitely you. I think it looks lovely" Buffy reaches over, and touches Will just above the collar. " It's not too tight, is it?"

" No, not at all, " Willow smiles._ Wow! Tingles!_

"I was right," Buffy says, reaching out and stroking Willow's cheek, " they really bring out your eyes." Buffy leans closer, looking into Willow's eyes. " You have the prettiest eyes."

Willow feels a little funny with Buffy stroking her cheek and being so close, looking so intently at her. Funny, and tingly.

" T-Thank you, Buff, you have pretty eyes too," Willow says, softly and a little nervously._ Her eyes are so…mmmm…_

" You ok, Will?" Buffy looks at her worriedly, " I'm not wigging you, am I?"

_Not wigging, exactly…._

" No, of course not, Buffy, " Willow giggles. " Just…" _What? What is it?_

Buffy withdraws her hand, and smiles. Willow wonders why she feels she's not exactly happy about that.

" Let me get you another drink, sweetie," Buffy starts to get up, but Willow restrains her.

" No, I'm ok…" She smiles broadly.

" Ok, " Buffy says, sitting back. " I'm kind of jealous, you know…"

" Oh?" Willow's brow furrows. " Oh… Buffy, if this is about Faith and me… that was only …"

" No…no, not that… well, kinda that… but…" Buffy trails off, blushing and looking away.

" Buffy," Willow says softly. _God, she's so … cute when she blushes._ " What is it, hon?"

" Just…no, I can't say it…it's totally…"

Willow has to smile. Buffy shy is rather charming.

" Buffy, c'mon. We've been buds forever. There's nothing you can't tell me."

Buffy draw a little circle with her fingertip on the mattress.

" It's just so lame…" Buffy says, not looking at Will. " I'm kind of jealous of Faith. I mean, I've had this little crush on you for the longest time…"

_Whoa! Crush? ME?_

" Buffy…" Willow reaches over, turning Buffy's face towards her. " Really?"

Buffy nods, and looks down.

" Buffy… why didn't you tell me?"

" Because, I thought it'd freak you, and I didn't want to lose my best bud… and then when you went with Tara, you thought I was wigged because of the girl/ girl thing, and I couldn't tell you I was a little jealous… and now Faith's been with you, and …" Buffy shrugs. " It' stupid, I know."

" No, Buffy!" Willow lifts her head, " That's so sweet."

" It's just that… now Faith knows what it's like .. .and … I …" Buffy seems to be moving closer and closer to Willow," just… never had the … experience of getting lost… in you're sweet… " Her lips touch Willow's.

Willow's eyes go wide when Buffy's lips hit hers. She feels some rather major tingles happening._ No, no, no … she's with Faith! This isn't right. I've got to stop … oh yum, she tastes so… mmmmm_

The kiss continues, and Willow finds her mouth opening, and Buffy's tongue inside it, and she's sucking on it and _oh my this is nice but so wrong but so nice oh my._ And then she's sucking on Buffy's tongue, and she just goes _mmmm._

The kiss breaks, and the two look at each other, a little breathless.

" Wowsome," Buffy says, smiling.

" Definite wowness, with a side of zowie!" Willow whispers, licking her lips unconsciously.

" I'm sorry, Will," Buffy says, blushing a little and pulling away. " I just… well… had to know what I was…"

But Buffy doesn't get to finish because Willow pulls her in for another kiss. _I knew there had to be some fire under all that red hair_ Buffy chuckles to herself as she gives in to the kiss.

The kiss is long and sweet, with a definite sense of fire beneath. Both are panting by the time it breaks.

" Buffy, I'm not sure if this is so right, " Willow says. Her eyes however say, " Please kiss me again."

Instead, Buffy cups Willow's face with her hand. " See, I didn't … I'm sorry. I … you know, this thing with Faith and me? It's serious, not going to lie. But it kind of bothers me it's " Me and Faith" and no room in there for my bud Willow. I mean… Why does it have to be " Buffy and Faith" or " Faith and Willow"? Why can't it …" Buffy shrugs "be like Buffy and Faith and Willow?"

" Buffy! That's just…" But Willow is beginning to feel the effects of the little something extra Buffy put in her drinks. The idea of a ménage a trios never really … well, it wasn't something Willow thought about. But the idea of being with Buffy and Faith, both of whom she had an attraction to, was starting to sound very nice. "… just… really?"

" Really, Will. I mean, Faith is very fond of you, and I'm very fond of you… of course, there is one tiny hitch…"

Willow's brows furrow again. " What?"

" Well… you've been with Faith, and I've been with Faith, and we know that went well in both cases. But you…well, you might not … find me attractive…"

" Geeze, Buffy… in what bizzaro universe would that be?" Willow says. " I just never thought you … well… liked girls, and never found _me_ really…" She trails off.

" Oh, is that so?" Buffy says. She takes Willow's hand, and puts it to her chest, on her breast. Willow can feel the hardened nipple through Buffy's mesh top. " It's not cold in here, Willow, " Buffy whispers, arching her back so her breast pushes into Willow's hand." What do you think caused that?"

" Oh… Buff…" Willow's voice fails her, and suddenly their lying on the bed, kissing and caressing each other. They start to fumble with each other's clothing, bits of it being thrown any old place, a few buttons being torn in the haste… when their done, their laying half naked, still kissing. Buffy pulls Willow close, pushing her breasts against her.

Willow loves the feel of Buffy's soft skin next to her. Never mind Buffy's kisses are lighting her on fire. She begins to caress Buffy's back, and then stops. She pulls away, looking at Buffy.

" What" Buffy says, a little hoarsely, her own engine in high gear.

" Buffy, what happened to your back?" Willow has gotten up, and is leaning over Buffy, looking at her back.

" Oh god, " Buffy groans, trying to roll over. But Willow won't let her. " It's ugly, Will. That's…from when… Spike… please, don't look… it's hideous…" Buffy hides her face in the mattress. " I'm so ashamed" Her voice is muffled.

" Buffy, no… they're so not hideous." Willow gently rubs her hands over Buffy's back. " They're beautiful, like you. They're part of you being a warrior honey… you survived what that… that… did to you. I love them, and I love you."

Willow starts to kiss Buffy's back. Buffy shivers, not out of revulsion.

" Gosh, Will. What're you doing?" Buffy whispers. Her breathing starts to get heavier.

" Showing you how much I'm not freaked by this. How beautiful I think you are… what you mean to me." She continues to kiss Buffy's back. Her hands come around, and cup Buffy's breasts.

_This is so wrong. I can't… I won't do this to her!_

**_What's wrong with you, you stupid shit? She's hooked. That little" It's so ugly" act of yours gets them every time. _**

_Not an act. It's ugly. God, she's so sweet… so loving. She loves me, and I'm going to … _

**_You're gonna what? YOU couldn't do shit. I'm going to make her nice little slave. Me, the girls and a generous application of the drug. By the time I'm done with her, she'll be drooling over you and Faith. She won't think of anything else._**

_No, I'm gonna stop you. I'll tell her, get her out of here! I won't let you hurt her!_

**_Brave, fucking brave coming from you, shit head. But how you gonna do that, exactly? You can't do shit without me, you're NOTHING without me. You're less than nothing without me._**

_That's not true… I can do it. I will do it!_

" Will, stop…stop!" Buffy turns around. " Willow, please , we got to…'

**_You lousy little bitch! Let's see how you like this!_**

Memories of torture flood her mind. Cuttings and burnings, Dru bathing her with acid, Spike ramming hot things up her. She starts to cry, the intensity is so strong. She can feel it all again, all of it. She shakes and rolls on the bed.

" Buffy, honey what's wrong?" Willow sits up. She cradles Buffy in her arms. " What is it baby?"

Buffy doesn't seem to hear her. She keeps crying and screaming, all the pain in her mind flowing through her body.

" Buffy, oh god, Buffy" Willow pulls her close, trying to calm her.

Buffy struggles, but then goes limp in her arms. She looks up at Will with large, sad eyes.

" I'm sorry, Will. I'm so sorry. I tried…"

A shiver goes through her , and her eyes seem to change. She pulls away from Willow, and moves to the edge or the bed, sitting up.

" Buffy, what is it?" Willow comes to her, putting her hands on Buffy's shoulders. " What happened."

" Memories. Bad ones, " Buffy says, not looking at Willow. " I kinda freaked. I'm sorry."

" Buffy… it's ok, it's going to be ok…"

" No, you don't get it, " Buffy moves swiftly, grabbing Willow's arm and shoving it behind her back. She gently pushes up, and Willow cries out. " I wanted to make this fun for you, pleasant. But that stupid little bitch…" Buffy's voice is cold and hard. " I just … we'll just have to do this the old fashioned way."

" Buffy…you're hurting me! Stop it!" Willow cries out.

" Shhh, Will. It's going to be all right. Just relax, " She pushes up on Willow's arm. Willow cries out. " Just be good. GIRLS! GET IN HERE NOW!"

The doors to the room open, and Zoë and Linda enter.

" Where's Marie?" Buffy says crossly.

" She's out hunting, Mistress." Zoë says. " oooo… new player!"

" Shut up, Zoë, and get the restraints from behind the bar. Linda? Get my bag out of the other room."

" Buffy! Who are they? What're you doing? Please, don't do this!" Willow sounds scared, struggling to get away.

" Shhh…honey… it's ok. It'll all be better soon. Stop struggling honey. I don't want to hurt you, but I will if I have to…"

" Buffy, please… don't…"

"Shush, baby. Shhh"

Zoë returns with the restraints, and Willow's feet and arms are bound. From the other room, Linda returns carrying a small black bag. She hands it to Buffy.

Buffy opens the bag ,and removes a small leather case. She opens it, and takes out a hypodermic needle and a small vial of amber liquid. She fills the hypo, tapping it to remove air bubbles.

" Buffy nooo, please don't, " Willow is pale with fear. " I love you, Buffy. Don't do this … "

" Will, honey, " Buffy gets a foil packet , tears it and removes the antiseptic cleaning cloth. She daubs Willow's arm." I promise, this won't hurt you a bit. It'll make you feel wonderful, better than you've ever felt before." She takes the needle and slips it under the skin just above Willow's elbow. Putting it away, she comes around and holds Willow's head against her chest.

" Just relax hon, don't fight it. Soon, you'll feel so good, so free. That's what I want to do, baby. Free you… from all the worries and cares…"

Willow gradually relaxes, going limp in Buffy's arms. Her eyes get a sleepy look to them, and she has a very large smile on her face.

" Hi, Buffy," She says softly. " Who are these girls?"

" Geeze, I'm so rude. Will, meet Zoë and Linda. Girls, this is Will, our brand new love."

The girls climb on the bed, flanking Willow. They look at Buffy.

" Go ahead, girls, you can pet her." Buffy says.

Zoë and Linda begin to caress Willow. Willow, a goofy smile on her face, sighs happily.

" She's sweet. I bet she tastes sweet too."

" Zoë!" Buffy says, growling a little.

" I didn't' mean blood, mistress." Zoë slips a finger between Willow's thighs. Willow squeals, and wiggles.

" She looks like me," Linda says, looking at Buffy, " She looks like me!"

Buffy smiles.

" I love your hair, " Willow says, trying to reach out to touch it. She can't, realizing she's restrained. She just giggles and shrugs.

" I like yours too, honey. It's so cute" Linda leans in, and nibbles on Willow's ear, eliciting a soft sigh.

Buffy gently extracts herself from Willow, lying her down on the bed.

" Zoë, love, why don't you make our special guest feel welcome?" Buffy says. " Linda, come with me, dear."

Zoë crawls up, laying next to Willow. " Hi, I'm Zoë!" She says, pulling Willow close and cuddling her.

" Gee, you look like Dawn, " Willow, a little unfocused, giggles." Dawnie!"

"If you want me to be Dawn, ok, " She smiles, knowing who Dawn is." Can I kiss you now?"

" I'd… like that, " Willow says.

The two of them are soon kissing passionately.

Buffy, standing a few feet away, smiles. " Isn't that just so sweet. I never knew she had a thing for Dawnie. Live and learn." She turns to Linda. " Ok, honey, you're in charge. She's not to be hurt or marked in ANY way, clear? That means, no sampling."

Linda pouts a little.

" Aw, baby… now, wouldn't you rather have a taste of me?" Buffy says, offering her breast to Linda.

Linda smiles, vamps out, and bites on Buffy's breast. Buffy throws her head back, and sighs noisily.

_God, I just so, so love that!_

She gently pushes Linda away. " Ok, enough greedy guts. Now, " Buffy pauses, still feeling the rush of the bite. " Whew. Ok, I want her trained really nicely, no rough stuff. Clear?"

" Of course Mistress. Anyway, she's so cute. I'd hate to hit her."

" That's my girl," Buffy rubs her neck. Linda shivers appreciatively. " Remember, she gets two more injections, eight hours apart. No more, clear? She'll be too addled otherwise."

" Yes, mistress." Linda looks at the two, who have gotten a lot more heated. " Is she going to be our new toy? Like Ford?"

" No. She's a present. For my love. I want her to be very happy. So don't mess up, or I'll be very _unhappy._ Clear?"

Linda shudders, and nods. Buffy unhappy can be brutal.

" Good girl," Buffy pulls her close, and kisses her. Linda sighs, happy again." Now , sweets. When Marie gets here, one of you can go hunt. You can spell each other for hunting, but I want two of you with her at all times. That means making love and sleeping with her. Ok?"

" Ok, Mistress."

" After the second injection, you can probably remove the restraints," Buffy looks over, and is very interested in what Zoë and Willow are doing. Very interested. " I want her to be happy, to make her new mistress happy, ok? " Buffy says, a little distracted. _God, I wish I'd had more time… _

" When she's ready, dress her appropriately. There's a new little costume for her in the other room. "

" Of course, mistress. We'll make her really pretty for …?"

" Faith, honey. That's her name. Faith."

" Yes, of course. Faith. Are you pleased, mistress?"

" Very much so, Linda," She pulls Linda in, giving her a warm kiss. Her hand trails down over Linda, and she squeezes her ass. Linda giggles.

" Now, honey, don't you want to go make our new pet happy?"

" Yes, mistress, " Linda moves away.

" Ahem?" Buffy clears her throat. "Where's my kiss?"

Linda comes to kiss Buffy, but Buffy looks down. Linda smiles and kneels. She pulls Buffy close, and licks her.

_Damn! I wish I had more time! Ah well, soon enough, honey. Soon enough!_

" Now, go play. Be nice. NO biting!"

Linda smiles, and scampers off to join the other two on the bed.

Buffy watches for a little while, getting some definite down low tingles at the creative way the girls give each other and Willow pleasure. Sighing, she turns to find her top.

_Looks like they're having fun. Wish I could play too. _

Finding her top, she pulls it on, and walks to the door.

_Ah, well. No rest for the wicked!_

She giggles as she lets herself out.

2

Buffy strides quickly through the night, congratulating herself on getting Willow squared away.

She's also suffering from a major case of the hornies. _Damn ,that was going so good until little Ms. goody-two-shoes showed up. Hmmmm… who would've thought Will had such heat under that shy exterior. No wonder Faith likes her. I could get used to that._ She giggles. _Make that, I will get used to that!_

As she approaches her mom's house, images of Willow, then Faith, then Faith AND Willow play through her mind. She begins to realize the case of hornies are beginning to turn into a case of raging hormones, and her lil peach is getting way too juicy for comfort. She smiles to herself._ Well, I'll just have to wake up my goddess and make her make me less …hee- hee… or maybe more wet. Hmmmm… now that should be really … mmmm._

She's just walking up the walk when she sees the glow of the TV through the living room window. _Damn, she's still awake? Don't tell me she's watching a Brady Bunch Marathon again. God, mom, we've got to have a talk about mind rot, you know? _She stops and sighs. She looks at her old stairway, and heads for the tree.

Pulling herself up, she takes off her boots. _One good fall, and I'm explaining what I'm doing out in the tree at this time of night to two rather angry women. Not a good choice._ She carefully makes her way to the roof, then as quietly as possible heads towards her room. Looking in, she sees Faith, back to her, apparently asleep. She quietly puts her boots inside the room, then follows them in.

She looks over at Faith, and for a second just watches as she sleeps. _God, she's so gorgeous. Just lying there… fuck, I gotta get me some of that, _she giggles softly. She starts to strip, quietly dropping the evidence in the closet. Naked, she slips into the bed, and snuggles over to Faith, sliding her arm over her.

Maybe it's lucky she can't see Faith's face right now. The half slitted eyes and angry little frown might startle her.

Faith is quietly furious. She doesn't let on, but she's been awake for the last two hours, waiting for Buffy to return. She'd every intention of laying into Buffy, letting her know she was majorly busted. But now that she was here, and felt so damned good lying next to her, she was quiet. _Damn her, where's she been? What's her game?_ Faith feels hurt, betrayed and more than a little suspicious. But she's also tired, and doesn't feel like fighting at the second._ Something stinks here. I'm gotta find out what. _Then she sighs. _Goddammit, I'm just glad she's back, and safe. Why is she doing this ? Damn._ She wants to bust her, find out what's going on. But she doesn't, she just sighs and tries to sleep.

But she's troubled by what happened, and can't get to sleep.

When she woke earlier, she waited for Buffy to come back. _God, that girl has a bladder like a peanut. _And waited, and waited. Then finally, got tired of waiting, and got up to check on her. She felt that tingle she gets when things aren't right, that slayer tingle. And it bothered her. She threw on a robe, and walked into the hall.

Hearing the TV, she went to investigate. But it was only Joyce downstairs. Not wanting to alarm her_ Oh, by the way? Buffy's missing!_ She quietly snuck back towards the room. She veered towards the bathroom. The door was open, and it was dark, but something made her check it anyway. She flipped on the light, and at first, seeing nothing, turned to leave. That's when she saw the mirror, with the outline of lips on it. She felt a small chill in her heart. The last time Faith kissed a mirror, she was still killing people. _What the fuck?_ Again, not wanting Joyce to find it, she rubbed the lipstick mark off the mirror.

Now she was starting to get that wig in her stomach. The one that tells her something's definitely off. She goes back to the bedroom, and seeing Buffy still missing, slipped inside and closed the door.

_I shouldn't snoop. I should just let it go. I shouldn't …_ then she looked at the empty bed. _Yeah, right._ Flipping on the light, she started going through Buffy's drawers, looking for a clue as to what she might be up to.

Finding nothing in her dresser, nightstand or other drawers, she was about to give up. She didn't think she'd really find anything in her vanity except girly stuff, but she looked anyway. _Bingo!_ She smiled, pulling out a small notebook. She looked at it, turning it over in her hands, trying to come to a decision to look.

_Ah fuck it. If she wants to play games, let her But I'm not gonna … whoa!_ While she was casually flipping the pages, she saw a page with a huge heart bearing the legend " **B&F, FOREVER! **" Her smile softens a little. _How cute. But why did she underline forever so many times? Faith! Stop it. It…. Whoa!_ Her eyes wandered over the writing on the following pages, and she starts reading, her smile becoming a frown. She sits, and flips through more of the journal, and her face gets a distinctly odd expression on it. She feels the tiniest bit of ice floating in her stomach. _Something's way wrong here!_ Knowing she'll probably get caught, and Buffy'll have a fit, she still takes the book, and quietly goes to her own room, putting it in her nightstand. _I've got to show this to Giles._

Faith was entering the hall when she realized she left the drawer open and the light on. Hurrying to the room, she felt a little panic. _God, it'd just be just like B to return now. Oh god, I'm so gonna get it! _She looks in the room, and still finding it empty, sighs audibly. She went over, and checking to see that it doesn't look disturbed, closed it. She then doused the light, and slipped back into bed.

And waited, wide eyed and feeling a little sick, for Buffy to return.

She is still going over what she read in the dairy when Buffy's hand creeps up to her breast, and tweaks it. _Oh, no. Don't think so. Think we'll just not do that right now. Just ignore it, and maybe it'll go away._ Faith doesn't react. She just lies still.. And tries to ignore the major twitch that Buffy's hand tweaking her gives to her.

Buffy frowns a little. _Boy, heavy sleeper!_ She snuggles closer, and kisses the back of Faith's neck.

" Buff, that' you?" Faith says in a tired and strangely harsh voice.

" Hmmm… if it's anyone else, who is she, I wanna scratch her eyes out, " Buffy giggles. " Of course it's me. " She kisses Faith again.

" Do you mind? I need to get up in a couple to go running. Can we just sleep, please?"

Buffy immediately feels a little hurt, but she puts it aside. " Aw, honey, do you have to? I mean…" She slides her hand down from Faith's breast, over her tummy and to her mound, "… if you wanna get all sweaty and panting, I can do that for you." Buffy slips a finger between Faith's thighs.

Faith grabs Buffy's hand, and pushes it away from her. She sits up, back still towards Buffy.

" Buffy, please. Running is important to me. It helps me focus and figure things out. So, I need some sleep." Faith stretches and yawns. " Screw it. Not gonna happen here. I'll just go back to my own bed and get some sleep."

Faith gets up, and walks towards the door.

" Faith, wait." Buffy leaps out of bed, meeting her at the door. " Don't go. I… I just…wanted to love you a little." She pouts a little. " Don't you wanna love me?" She smiles seductively, drawing her finger over Faith's naked arm. " I'll be a good girl…or a bad girl "

Faith looks at her, frowning. " This is important to me. I wish you'd respect that. I think I better just go."

" It wasn't all that important when you were with Willow," Buffy says jealously.

Faith just stares at her, doesn't say a word, and leaves.

Buffy stands there for a moment, stunned. Then her face turns red, and she begins to fume.

She looks around, wanting to hurt something. But she doesn't want to raise the household, i.e. mom, doing it. Frustrated, she throws herself on the bed and starts beating the mattress with her fists. Smelling Faith, she pulls herself off the bed, and tears the sheets and covers off.

_Screw you! Get off, get out. I don't WANT you here anyway._

She rips the sheets to pieces, and throws the pillows and blankets all over. Then she sits down heavily on the floor, and begins to cry. They're angry tears.

_What does she want? WHAT? I'm trying to make everything perfect, everything ready for her, and she does this. She rejects me…_

_Damn her. Damn Her! DAMN HER!_

Miserable, feeling sorry for herself, Buffy crawls into her bed, curls up in a ball, and falls asleep.

3

Faith feels her rapid heartbeat, and the rhythm of her pounding feet, as she runs.

This is her favorite part. The cool air filling her lungs, dampening the fire of her lungs. Her heart beating against her ribs, the sweet burn in her thigh muscles as she pushes herself a little farther, a little harder. It frees her, gives her clarity of mind to figure out things, to put things in perspective. It's her favorite part.

But not today. The angry tears burning her eyes keep getting in the way. Her mind, instead of clearing, is a swamp of confused emotions. And all she can feel is a sick feeling.

_What is her game? What is she up to? God, I fall for her, hard. And now… this. God, I'm a total dope. I knew something was off, something was just wrong, and I let my hormones rule my head. I… fuck me! But I can't let on, I can't let her know. I gotta play … fuck, I hate games._

Faith stops, leaning over, gasping for breath. Her gasps become sobs as the pain hits her again. She sits down heavily on the park trail, rocking back and forth, trying to get it together.

_God, she made me feel so good… so special. I know I saw it in her eyes. I saw it… I know she loves me. But she sneaks out. Where is she going all these nights. Probably the same place she was going that night in the bedroom. What is she doing? WHO is she doing? God, ok, Faith, there's no call for that… maybe it's not… I just don't know, and it's bugging the hell out of me. And that journal of hers. GOD! I thought I was gonna freak when I read that. _Faith pats her back, feeling for the book she slipped there._ I gotta show this to Giles. Maybe he can figure it out. I can't._

_I just don't know what to do. I want to trust her. I want to believe she's … but my gut isn't liking all this cloak and dagger crap. _Faith shakes her head._ Now I've gotta play games, too. Pretend I'm clueless, I don't know something's going on. I hate games! I hate being the one left in the dark, and told " Go figure it out". I gotta bust her on this sneaking out. I gotta try to see if she slips. Oh this is sooo good. I gotta play cop with her, and I don't want to do this. Why is she making me do this? God, sometimes I want to strangle her… then kiss her all better. It's not fair, dammit! Why can't I just love her, and not have to have all this crap going on? Sometimes I just want to hate her again. It was so much easier!_

_Love sucks! It's stupid!_

Faith gets up, and lets out a lungful of air. She wipes her eyes on the back of the sleeve of her sweats.

_So fucking stupid!_

She starts to trot, then run.

_And the worst part?_

She laughs bitterly as she heads for the park exit.

_I want to be stupid! Again, and again, and again!_

4

Buffy blinks as the sun stabs at her eyes.

Sighing, she sits up, and looks around.

There is something different about her. Her whole body seems less confident. Her expression is resigned, and softer. Getting up, she starts to pick up the mess she made.

Passing her vanity, she glances in the mirror, and stops cold. The bedclothes she's gathered drop out of her arms.

_Sit down._

" I've got to clean this up"

_I said, sit down, Mousy Summers!_

Buffy sits. She stares at the girl in the mirror.

" You blew it last night. She's gonna be suspicious"

_What? Faith? I can play her like a guitar. God, she's probably right now out running, crying her eyes out how her 'love' hurt her. You are so stupid, I can't believe it. Everything's fine._

" I saw how she looked last night. She was pissed. She's gonna put 2 and 2 together. Then she's going to come after you!"

_Bullshit. She dumb as a post. I'll figure something to tell her. And she'll eat it up, because she 'loves' me. Oh, and just remember. If she comes after me, dumbass, she comes after you, too. So, don't get any cute ideas. _

" I don't care. I'll tell her, everything. And she'll stop you! I don't care if she hates me, as long as she's safe!"

_You haven't got the brass, dope. Mousy Summers, super hero? That's rich! No, you won't tell her, because you couldn't stand the look of disgust in her eyes when she knows what you tried to do!_

" Me? I didn't…"

_You let it happen, didn't you? You didn't stop me, did you? She'll hate you… like she's never hated you before._

" I don't care! As long as she stops you, I don't care!"

" Buffy, honey? You ok in there?" Joyce calls through the door.

" Fine mom, fine… just… cleaning up a little…"

" Ok, honey. Don't take to long, ok? Breakfast soon!"

" Ok, mom!"

_"Ok, mom!" God, listen to you! I'm gonna be so glad when I'm rid of you! Won't be damned soon enough!_

" What?" Buffy feels a chill.

_What? Did you think you were coming along for the ride, Mousy? Once we change … once it happens, you'll be gone, moron. You really are stupid, aren't you? I'll have Faith, and you'll be nothing._

" No, you promised ."

_" You promised!" What a dope. I'll be fucking Faith, and you'll be nothing but a bad memory. Hmmm… and speaking of bad memories… _The mirror image smiles evilly at her.

Buffy grabs her head as if in pain, and moans. She lowers her head onto the vanity.

**_Buffy is bound to a post in the old factory where Spike and Drusilla are keeping her._**

**_Drusilla approaches her, making little tsking noises with her tongue._**

**_" My, my, my Spike can be quite the bad dog, can't he?" Drusilla looks at Buffy's cut and bruised face. Both her eyes are blackened and swollen._**

**_" So rough, he is. I think that's why I love him so much, " Drusilla laughs, a mad edge to her laughter. " Now, now… no more hitting… not right now… hmmm… let's see what's inside here, shall we?" Drusilla passes her hand over Buffy's head, then smiles. " Ah, yes… that's just ducky."_**

**_Drusilla kneels down to Buffy's level. " Look at me, love. Be in me…"_**

**_Buffy, exhausted, looks up. She makes a hawking sound, and spits on Drusilla._**

**_" Oh…OH OH OH!" Drusilla panics, moving away, rubbing her face. " You're a bad little girl, aren't you?" Her voice develops a hard edge. She grabs Buffy by the face, and pulls her towards her. " Now, pet, look at me! Look in my eyes… be in me…"_**

**_Buffy tries to look away, but Dru holds her face fast. She squeezes her eyes shut, but Drusilla pinches her. Her eyes open, and she's staring into Drusilla's eyes. Her eyes seem so large… and are getting larger. Buffy feels herself captured in the eyes…drowning, drowning…_**

**_" Buffy, Buffy wake up!"_**

**_Buffy open her eyes. She can't believe it._**

**_"Angel?" She whispers. " Is it you?"_**

**_Angel kisses her forehead tenderly. He gets up, and walks away, back to her._**

**_" It's me. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine now."_**

**_" Angel! We've got to get out of here. Spike… Drusilla… they might be back any second."_**

**_"What are you talking about?" Angel sounds a little irritated. " Didn't I just tell you everything's going to be fine, Buff?"_**

**_Buffy feels a chill in her stomach." Buff? But you never…"_**

**_Angel turns around. He's vamped out. " You know, Buff? That's what always pissed me off the most about you. You're goddamned whiney nagging. You always thought you knew best. God, it's so…annoying." He strides over, and slaps her hard. " Now shut up, I've got things to do."_**

**_He strides away, hands clasped behind him. Willow enters the room from the rear door._**

**_" Willow…oh my god…watch out…!" Buffy calls out. "RUN! Angel… he's Angelus!"_**

**_Willow throws her hands up in mock horror. " Oh, oh! I'm in trouble now!"_**

**_Angel chortles, and it's only then that Buffy notices how Willow is dressed… in a black leather Dominatrix costume._**

**_" Noooo…" Buffy cries, almost a whisper._**

**_" Oh yeah, that's what I said too… until Angel gave me the sweetest kiss!" Willow vamps out. She tilts her head, exposing her neck. Angel comes to her, and bites her, feeding off her. " Mmmm… he has the sweetest bite!" She turns, and bites Angel, feeding off him._**

**_Buffy sits, hot tears coursing down her face. She feels all hope fade as the two 'neck' before her. Finally, Willow breaks away, licking at the blood on her fangs. _**

**_She walks over to Buffy, and kneels down before her. " There, there Buffy. Don't worry! I haven't forgotten about you." She turns her head, and moves in for the bite._**

**_" Ahem, Willow?" Angel interrupts her. Willow's head whipsaws up._**

**_" What?" She asks, irritated._**

**_Angel reaches down, and picks up a chainsaw. He pulls the handle ,and it roars to life._**

**_" Dinner later, Will. Fun first, then we eat."_**

**_Willow stands up, grinning. She backs away as Angel approaches._**

**_" So, Buff. What do you think? Do you look good in red?"_**

Buffy raises her head, her eyes have a cold, hard cast to them. She smiles.

The image in the mirror is holding her head, crying and shaking.

" I told you, Mousy. I'm driving. So shut up and quit trying to be something you're not. Slayer my ass. They should've called you Buffy the Vampire whiner."

Buffy looks at the pile of bedclothes, and laughing, picks them up and throws them on the bed.

Grabbing a robe, she leaves the bedroom.

5

" Good morning , Sunshine," Joyce says cheerily, putting a plate of food down. " How are…" the words die in her mouth as she sees Buffy.

_Oh boy… what's wrong now?_ She sighs. _Happy gods? We're gonna have to have a little talk about this messing around with my daughter!_

" Mornin', mom" Buffy mumbles, sitting at the table. She stares at the plate food.

" Ok, honey, what's the matter? What's wrong now?" Joyce is a little surprised. After last night, she though Buffy would be bubbling like a soda pop. _I repeat, I think sons? So much easier!_

" Nothin's wrong mom, " Buffy says, staring at her plate. " I'm fine"

_Uh-huh, and I just got that check from Ed McMahon, too._

But Joyce hasn't lived with the blonde one for 24 odd years without knowing that when she's like this, getting anything but the barest civility out of her will be like pulling teeth. And she doesn't' feel like drilling right now. She turns to go into the kitchen when she almost runs smack into Faith.

" Good morning, Faith," Joyce says.

" Hi, mom, " Faith kisses her cheek, then freezes. She sees Buffy at the table, staring at them._ Fuck!_

" Oh, what's this?" Buffy stands up, getting red faced. " She gets to call you mom now? Even Will doesn't call you mom. God, well… why don't you just adopt her? Heck, why do I need to be here, anyway? I'll just go, and she can have MY ROOM!" Buffy almost knocks over the chair in her haste to leave.

" Oh, that's good. You screw up, and everyone else is the blame. That it, Buffy? God, you're such a brat. Throwing a tantrum!" Faith turns to go. " I'm so outta here…"

" Good, get out! No one was talking to you, anyway!" Buffy yells at her.

Joyce explodes.

" Buffy Anne Summers! Faith whatever your middle name is Lehane. Sit your butts in those chairs, RIGHT NOW!" Joyce orders them in a don't you mess with mom voice.

Both girls, spanked verbally by the Mominator, meekly make their ways to a chair. They sit there, glaring at each other.

"Well, isn't it nice and chilly in here this morning, " Joyce, her mood ruined, cracks," No wonder my heating bills are so high. Ok, I want some answers. What's going on? Why do you look like you want to tear each other's hair out?"

" NOTHING!" Both yell in unison. They glare knives at each other.

" Oh…" Joyce's voice gets a taste edgy. " Would that be like the 'nothing' that happened for oh, hours upstairs last night?" She looks at the both of them.

Two necks and faces have never become so red so quickly in the history of mankind.

" Here's a tip, girls. If you don't want mom to know what you're doing? Dial it down a couple of notches. I couldn't drown you out with the TV volume up full blast. And I'm really _not_ going to start wearing earplugs in my own house!"

And they got even redder.

"So, two girls whom I expected to be cooing and making little silly noises and being generally foolish are at each other's throats. So I got to ask, WHAT HAPPENED?" Joyce's anger spills out.

Both sit silently, then try to speak at once.

" Well she got all…"

" Where'd she …."

They stop, glaring.

" But she …"

" I'm really mad…"

They stop.

" IT'S ALL HER FAULT!" they say in unison. Both subside, grumbling.

" Well, that was really helpful, " Joyce throws up her hands." That really cleared the air. Are you sure you two aren't 12?" She gives each of them a hard look. Both look down at the table. " Ok, lets try this one at a time. Buffy?"

" Ah, geeze, mom…" Buffy whines. Sharing her love life with her mom is like taking castor oil. It tastes awful, and makes you feel funny.

" Do you want a turn, Buffy? Or should I just ask Faith what happened?" She starts to turn to Faith.

" No…no," Buffy says. " I was just… well, trying to get friendly, and she gets all upset. ' Oh, Buffy, I gotta sleep. I gotta run in the morning. Leave me alone' " Buffy imitates Faith. " God, after …." Buffy blushes and goes quiet, remembering who she's talking to.

" Oh yeah. You disappear for hours, and you try to blame this on me?" Faith stands up. " God, what ARE you? How could you DO that to me?" Faith is livid.

" Buffy… is that true?" Joyce looks at her blond daughter.

" You're damned right it's true!" Faith cuts in. She blushes. " Sorry, didn't mean to swear."

" It's not true… I never…" She looks at her mother's expression." Ok, it's true. But there were reasons… did she even ASK? No, she just gets all bent, and then leaves. Real mature!"

" Who were you out with, Buffy? Who were you meeting? Ford? Did he give you a happy? Is that it?" She leans in at Buffy, getting in her face. " What… needed a little stick after driving automatic?"

SLAP!

" HOW DARE YOU?" She yells.

" ENOUGH!" Joyce yells over them.

They both go silent. Back to knife throwing with their eyes.

" Well, isn't this pretty?" Joyce says, obviously upset. " Well, it's too much for me. All of this is too strange for me. But, you two need to work this out. But not here. I don't want the furniture wrecked…again. So, take it outside. And until you can at the very least treat other civilly, don't be coming back."

" MOM!" Both girls protest.

" I'm not kidding. I'm earning the money around here, I pay the bills. I don't need _this_ in the morning. So, out the both of you, and I don't want to see you back here until you've come to some understanding."

"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm sorry Faith's such a pig headed dope"

" I'm really sorry, Mom. I'm sorry I ever met that blonde little …" Faith trails off.

" Ok, then get your _sorry_ butts out of here!" Neither girl moves. " Now would be good." Still both sit. " NOW! "

Both girls, angry and embarrassed, get up from the table. They almost run into each other making their way to the front door. Each repel off each other, like touching would be poison. They exit through the front door.

Joyce sighs, and sits at the table. She tries her coffee, but it's cold.

" I hate them sometimes, " She sighs, leaning on her hand.

6

" I hate you!"

" I hate you more!"

" I hate you MOST!"

" I Hate you most…plus!" Buffy spits at Faith.

" Oh, god, what are you? Like 7? " Faith starts to walk away.

" Oh, look who's talking. Ms. I'll just get all angry and walk away. That's really how you solve things."

Faith gives her a cold, hard look

"Like you'd tell me jack," She mutters, then louder" I think I better walk away! I'm really ready to hit you!"

" That's right, Faith! Think with your fists. You're so damned good at it! Did you even TRY To find out what happened? No, you just get mad and stalk away. Now you want to hit me." Buffy runs over, and gets in her face." Go ahead, Faith, hit me. I dare you! I DARE YOU!"

Faith just looks at her. Then she spits on her. " Slut".

Faith turns and walks away.

Buffy runs after her, and gets in front of her. She slaps her.

" YOU BITCH! YOU DON'T EVER CALL ME THAT!"

" Just callin' it like I see it, Buffy, " Faith says. She shoves Buffy away and starts walking.

" Don't you run away from me!" Buffy runs ahead of her, and…

SLAP!

Faith grabs her wrist, and holds her. " Don't you ever hit me again? Do you get that?"

SLAP! Buffy hits her with the other hand.

SLAP!

" Ow," Buffy rubs her cheek. " You hit me!"

" Well, you hit me first!" She almost throws Buffy in the street. " Now get out of my way, and leave me alone!"

Buffy wobbles, then gets her feet under her. She runs after Faith.

" You don't walk away from me! Not after last night! NO WAY!" She tackles Faith from behind, knocking her over. Buffy crawls up on her, pinning her.

Faith laughs bitterly. " Right, last night. When you slipped out and decided to do half the town. So tell, me, Buff? Did you go see Ford? Maybe you wanted some dick. Or, maybe some wasn't enough? Find a nice club to pull the train at?" Faith rears up suddenly, throwing Buffy off. " How could you do that? After what we had? God I love you so much, and you treat me like shit!" She sits there, half up, looking at Buffy.

Buffy starts shaking and crying. " I didn't go out and… god, I love you Faith. I… just got so scared…all those feelings…and I thought… I needed to talk to somebody… so I … I went to Willow's…"

" You went to Willow's?" Faith looks at her strangely, " You were scared, and you went to Willow's? Why didn't you talk to me?"

" How could I talk to you?" Buffy asks, pulling herself off the ground. " It was you that was making me scared!"

" WHAT?"

" All those feelings, those things you opened up in me. God, Faith, no one's ever touched me like that before. I opened my heart to you…and then you saw those scars… and I know you had to see the other ones… and I was scared that you'd think I was damaged goods… I was ugly…and I was laying there, in your arms, just sure you were going to leave me…and I panicked. I needed to get out… think. So I slipped out, and went to Willow's."

Faith shakes her head, like she can't believe what she's hearing.

" She's my best friend! I got there, and she was packing. Something about going out of town to her parents for a few days. I just broke down, and told her what I was thinking. And she held me , and told me what an idiot I was being. That you loved me to death, and that I shouldn't be so stupid."

" I knew I liked her for a reason, " Faith says quietly. "That's pretty much what I would've told you… maybe leaving out the stupid parts."

" I didn't know that. And anyway, I had to hear it from her… you might have told me something to not hurt my feelings. I needed someone I wasn't crazy in love with to make me see… don't you see?" She scrutinizes Faith's face, " then, when I felt better, I came back, and slipped into bed, planning on… well, fucking your brains out… and you got angry, and glared at me, and I got to feeling guilty because I knew you'd missed me, but I couldn't tell you where I went cuz you'd think it was stupid, and you left and I got angry and now you hate me!"

Faith doesn't know if she wants to laugh or cry or beat her head against a tree for awhile, anything so she can just try to figure this all out. Instead she goes over to Buffy, and takes her in her arms.

" Buffy, I don't hate you. Hating you was sooo much easier," Faith sighs. " I just… when I woke up, and found you gone, I thought at first you went to pee again, and I just waited…and waited… and waited, and you didn't come back. Then I got scared. Where'd you go? Why didn't you come back to me? Then I got these terrible thoughts, that I couldn't make you happy, that you needed more than me, and that I… wasn't good enough for you. And it really hurt, Buffy, because I loved you so much and let you get so close to me, so close I felt you were part of me. And you disappearing like that was like someone handing me everything I wanted then snatching it back… I've never felt like this before. I don't know what I'm doing here, and you going MIA, really not helping too much. I thought you… didn't want me anymore, and then you came back and acted like nothing happened, I got angry. So angry, because I felt used and betrayed and it hurt… and I didn't want to fight, because if I had said anything I would've been too angry not to fight, so I went away to cool off."

" Faith, baby…" Buffy snuggles closer.

" What really hurt was that I thought I wasn't enough for you. That you needed more than me… that just about killed me, honey. That I couldn't ever make you as happy as you make me."

" Faith, I'm such a dope. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you, baby. You're my everything, my sweet Goddess. Forgive me?"

" I dunno. I'm going to have to think about it."

Faith sits quietly for half a second.

"Ok, I thought about it. Can we start kissing now?"

Almost before she can get the words out, Buffy is on her, pushing her over on the lawn. Faith is giggling, and then sighing as the kiss continues. Then panicking a little when she fells Buffy tugging at her shirt._ Shit, if she finds that book!_ She bats Buffy's hands away.

" Buffy! What're you doing?"

" What do you think I'm doing?" Buffy smiles at her wickedly.

"We're outside. We can be seen!"

" So, let 'em see! " She starts to pull off her own top.

" Buffy, for god's sake!" Faith pulls down on her top. " Not here!"

" Then, " She leans over Faith, kissing her. " take me home and let me prove how much I need you!"

Faith closes her eyes, as if in pain. " Home. You're mom. Oh, we screwed up!"

Buffy frowns. " She was pretty angry… we really screwed up."

" We should get her something nice, " Faith says, then sighs, " But I'm broke. I don't wanna use her money… that's just not right. And I don't have anything left worth hocking."

" Huh?"

" You're cross. I hocked my last piece of decent jewelry to get it. Didn't want to borrow money from mom… god, I'm sponging enough already…and didn't want to borrow it from Giles… I didn't want to borrow it at all. I wanted it to be from me to you, something I gave you. So, I hocked my necklace, and bought us matching crosses. Thought it'd be …special that way."

Buffy is sitting there, tears streaming down her cheeks. " You did that? For me?" Before Faith can react, she's on her again, has her on the ground, and is kissing her madly. Faith is laughing, and pushing her away.

" God, you're so… sooo…I love you Faith Lehane!" Buffy won't be put off. She kisses her until Faith is almost stunned by her vehemence.

" Buffy, please!" Faith is panting. " So loving this. But we really gotta do something… and I've …gotta go see Giles real quick."

" Giles?" Buffy looks at her. " Why?"

" Some slayer stuff…he told me he needed to see me about some stuff. That was yesterday, when I went in to find you…and we … well, you know. So, I gotta go now…"

" Can't you just blow him off?"

" Buffy, you _know_ how Giles gets if you blow him off. Anyway, not sure if I want to try to explain _why_ I'm blowing him off quite yet. You're mom was pretty cool about it, but not so sure about Giles."

Buffy blushes. " Oh, yeah, " She makes a face thinking about having to tell Giles._ Better not to …_" Ok, well… don't be too long, Ok? I thought of something we can do for mom. She's been dropping anvils about how she'd love it if someone( me) would clean the house. I thought we could do that, and cook her a nice dinner."

" Sounds nice, but I burn water, Buffy." Faith chuckles.

" Well, I'll cook… and you can mow the yard. She'd love that, too."

" Yeah, and that'd keep us at a nice distance, so we'd actually get something done." Faith winks and grins.

" Oh you" Buffy slaps her shoulder. " So, see you back at the house? Ready to use those slayer muscles for something really important?"

" Yeah, yeah… just don't get to daydreaming, ok?. Cuz, we owe your mom."

" Ok, boss. I'll get started while I'm waiting."

" Ok, so… kiss?"

They kiss. It's hot, wet and has lots of tongue.

" Whew," Faith says, " That was nice."

" Uh-huh… another?"

" Uhhh…no, not if I don't want to explain to Giles why I'm staring out into space while he's talking."

" You poop! Ok, I'll see you at home in few, then?"

" As soon as I can get Giles to stop talking, yeah."

" OK, bye honey" Buffy gooses Faith.

" You… you're bad."

" Mmm… didn't hear YOU complaining too much yesterday."

" Bye, Buffy, " Faith backs away, afraid to expose her butt.

" Bye honey! See ya after work" Buffy waves.

She watches as Faith disappears down the block. Her expression changes from a broad warm smile, to a tight little grin. Almost a sneer.

_Told you, Mousy. She's like putty. I have her so wrapped._

From somewhere deep inside, a small moan is heard.

Buffy, whistling a happy little tune, turns and walks towards her house.

Faith, walking the other way, doesn't look nearly so happy.

_She bought it. Whoop!_

7

Faith heads downtown, but doesn't go to the Magic Box. Not yet.

Instead, she turns in at the arcade. The place is packed, but she manages to make it to the change booth. She slaps a five on the counter, and gets the change.

She doesn't head towards the games, however. She heads towards the back, to the pay phone. She drops a few quarters in, and dials a number. Holding her ear to drown out the noise. She waits, deposits a few coins, and waits again.

"Angel Investigations. We help the hopeless! " A bright voice answers.

" Hey, Fred. This is Faith."

" FAITH! How are you? How're things? Oh, did you hear? I got my paper on compacted string theories published. Of course, it probably won't mean a thing, but it as so cool to see my name in " Physics' Journal Quarterly" that I just about…"

" That's great , babe. Really glad about the strings. Is the tall guy up?"

" Oh…Angel? Yeah, want to talk to him?"

" Please."

" Ok, wait a second."

Faith suffers through a terrible rendition of " Sunset Café" until the phone is picked up.

" This is Angel."

" Angel. This is Faith. We need to talk…"

8

" Amy, I'm not sure I'm happy with you playing around with this spell"

Rupert Giles looks a little upset. Amy smiles, trying to reassure him.

"It's ok, Mr. Giles. I've been careful, done a lot of research on it. It won't go wrong… not like the last time!"

" Yes, last time, " Giles says, dryly, " It took us a few days to clean up after last time."

" I got the incantation wrong. You know how tricky they can be. But I've been very careful this time. And I won't blow it again. And, I promise. I'll get Willow to be with me this time, ok?"

Giles doesn't look happy.

" I won't let her do anything. I know about her problem. I'll just have her watch."

Giles looks relieved when the little bell over the door goes off. He's not liking where this conversation's going. The relief last for a minute until he sees the expression on Faith's face.

" Good morning, Faith, " Giles says, more cheerily than he feels. " How can I help you?"

" Giles, I need to talk to you. It's important."

" Why did I know that?" He sighs. " Did you want to go in back?"

" No, actually, I'm glad Amy's here. Maybe she can help."

" Really?" Amy says brightly, shooting a look at Giles. " I'm glad _someone_ doesn't think I'm a screw up!"

" Amy, I never meant…"

" Guys, can we focus here? I said, important!"

" Very well, Faith, what is it?"

" Something's wrong. With Buffy. She's been acting major weird, and …." Faith lets out a sigh. " She went MIA last night, and now I'm kinda feeling a little freaked."

" Faith, are you sure you're reading something into something that simply isn't there?"

" English, Giles, please?"

" Maybe it's all in your head?" Giles sighs.

" In my head, huh?" Faith reaches back, and slips the notebook out , placing it on the counter. She flips through the pages, and turns it to Giles. " What about that, huh?"

Giles looks at the page, the one with the Big heart on it, and looks at Faith. Amy does the same, giggling a little.

" No, not that!" Faith makes a face. She points at the next page. " Read that!"

Giles, smirking just a little, starts reading the next page. His smirk soon disappears, and he keeps removing his glasses and cleaning them, as if he can't believe what he's reading. He turns the page, then stops.

" This is Buffy's private journal, Faith," Giles says quietly. He really doesn't want to think what he's thinking. " Should we be reading it?"

" Did you read it? Did you get it? I don't care … let her hate me. Something is wrong , and she's up to something. I know it!"

Giles looks grim. " I don't want to, but I have to agree. This…" he waves at the book"… is disturbing." He looks at Faith. " Do you have any idea what she might be planning?"

" Not a clue, Giles. I just got a feeling, we're not going to have to wait too long."

Amy, curious, tries to read over the top of the page. Giles quickly closes the book.

"Amy, anyway that spell you and Red cast… anyway it might've gone blewy?" Faith looks at her.

" No, it … we really researched it thoroughly. We were careful , really careful, to get it right. And she _is _human, not a vampire."

" Not physically, anyway, " Giles looks at the closed journal, " but possible there was something that didn't get expelled during the ritual." He rubs the bridge of his nose, as if it hurts. " What if… we did expel the vampire… and it left her without a soul?"

" No… look, I mean… it's not like she's twirling a moustache, waiting for the train to run over Nell or something. There's something there… I can feel it… something good…it's just there's something not good, too."

" What if it didn't work all the way?" Amy puts in, serious now. " What if her soul was… I don't know, broken? Damaged? So she's not exactly a vampire, but not exactly human, either?" She looks at the two of them. " Kinda like there're two of them in there?"

" Oh great, swell, " Faith fumes. " We cured her, and made her nuts! We made her Sybil !"

" No, that's not it, " Amy says, waving her hands, " I'm explaining this badly. It's like, part of her soul stayed, and the rest was ripped from her. So she alternates between soulless and having a soul. I don't know… I guess it would depend on … well, what's happening, what she's doing… would effect who's running the show, so to speak."

" I believe I know what you're saying," Giles puts in, " because her soul isn't complete, she can't be one or the other, so they both are there, fighting for control."

" Yeah, that's it…" Amy beams, " two in one."

" Uhhh, fine. But how do we fix it? You know, unless you want The Buffy Twins to hang around." Faith's tone is sarcastic. She sighs," I don't think we can wait too long. I don't think Good Buffy is winning. I think Evil Buffy is in charge… and I'm not thinking she wants to throw roses and puppies at us."

" I think the ritual of restoration is our best shot," Giles doesn't look pleased. " I'm just not sure it'll work properly. It was written for Angel…"

" Maybe Willow and I can work on it. See if we can alter it any way to make it fit Buffy better."

" That'll have to wait, " Faith says, " Willow's out of town."

" Oh? She didn't tell me that, " Amy says.

" Yeah, Buffy said she was going to be gone a couple of days. Going to visit the parentals."

" That's weird, " Amy muses.

"What's weird?" Faith says, suddenly getting a cold feeling. " We don't need more weird, Amy."

" Just that we were supposed to meet today…"

" Damn," Faith looks upset. " Damn."

The others look at her.

" I think theory time is over. I think she's already made her first move. Dammit. But I don't know what … ok, I think we're going to have to be ready to go at any time. I think she's made her first move, now we just have to wait for the second. Shit… "

" Faith, you're not making sense. What're you talking about?"

" I think Willow is somehow involved with her plan, " Faith says, " not a party to it, just involved. But I don't know where…" Faith curses herself. " Ok, she's made her first move, and the only thing we've got going for us she doesn't know we know it… or that there's an it. So, we have to wait for her second move, and be ready." Faith starts pacing. " I should've known she wouldn't bail last night unless it was important… "

" I don't understand…" Giles begins.

But Amy does. She gets it.

" Never mind, Giles. Faith is right, " She goes over to Faith." Are you ok?"

" Truth? Not really. "

" What about Angel? Should we …."

" Already did, Giles. Taken care of."

" How're we going to know what the second move is, Faith?" Giles is still puzzled.

" Don't you see it Giles? In the journal?"

" I'm sorry?"

" I'm the second move, " Faith says, frowning.

9

Joyce Summers is immediately suspicious. She goes up and looks at the house number.

_Yup, right house._

But she can't believe her eyes. The lawn is mowed and trimmed. The flower gardens are weeded, the porch and sidewalk have been swept. And …_ even the gutters have been cleaned. Ok, what happened? Did the good Fairy have the day off or something?_

She walks up the steps, noting the windows look very , very clean. She opens the front door.

The first thing that hits her is the scent of furniture polish. Then she notices the carpet has been vacuumed, the furniture dusted and polished, everything has been straightened up and put away. _Ok, now I know I'm in the wrong house._

"SURPRISE! "

Two rather exhausted looking young women greet her with somewhat tired kisses. She looks in the dining room, and sees the table covered by a cloth, candles on the table, and a full meal laid out. She walks over, and recognizes roast chicken, potatoes, baby carrots, peas, and a chocolate pie. All her particular favorites.

" Ok, what did you two do? And, how much is it going to cost me?"

" No, promise, we didn't do anything else, " Faith swears.

"We're just sorry about this morning, mom. We really screwed up. So we cleaned the house and yard, and made dinner."

" Don't worry, Joyce. She cooked. You're safe," Faith adds in.

Joyce looks at the meal, and around at how everything looks great, and she smiles.

_And sometimes, I just love them to death!_

" Well, let's eat. I'm starved!" Joyce says, sitting at the table

Laughing, Buffy and Faith join her.

10

" Oh, now… don't get that way!" Buffy says, looking at herself in the mirror.

The two of them are in Buffy's bedroom, the night after the " Great Clean-Up Affair". Faith is sitting on the bed, watching Buffy get dressed up for a date. She is not exactly a happy camper.

" What way?" She grumbles.

" That way, " Buffy comes over, and catching her chin, raises her face. " All pouty face. God, you're just sooo adorable."

" Uh huh. I'm just peaches and champagne. That's why you're going out on a date… with Ford!"

"C'mon, honey. We talked about it, and you agreed. I can't just dump on the guy. I mean, he's got the lost puppy eyes. It's bad, and I've got to let him down easy."

" Right, so you're getting all dolled up for him, to just ' let him down easy'. " Faith makes a face.

" Oh, oh, " Buffy smiles a tiny smile. " Somebody's getting jealous. Gee, honey, you have such lovely green eyes. I thought Will only had green eyes, " Buffy giggles.

" It's not funny, " Faith frowns.

" Oooo, look at that face. And that lip… I just adore that lip. It's so cute, " Buffy moves in, sucking on Faith's pouty lower lip. " Mmmmm, Yummy!"

" Not fair, " Faith says, as she finds herself falling back on the bed. Buffy climbs on her, covering her face with soft sweet kisses.

" What's not fair?" Buffy says between kisses.

" That you've got me so wrapped, " Faith protests, then chuckles because Buffy's lips are tickling her.

" Oh I think it's fair, " Buffy says, nibbling on Faith's earlobe, which elicits a soft sigh. " I think it's totally fair. Considering you've got me wrapped, too!" Buffy covers Faith's lips with hers, in a warm kiss. " mmmmm"

" I still don't like it, " Faith says, when her mouth is free again._ Not liking it a whole lot._

" Honey, Ford is an old friend. I'm not going to just tell him to fuck off, just because you're jealous. Now, I'm trusting that you really love me, even though I'm…." she pauses,"… ok, I won't say it… but now you've got to trust me. This is a break up date, nothing more!"

" Better not be," Faith growls.

" Ok, honey? A little jealousy is cute. This is getting to unattractive, very"

" I'm sorry, " Faith says, " I'm just seeing you get all pretty, and all I wanna do is ravish you!"

Buffy giggles, and sits in Faith's lap. " Well, honey, I'm going out with Ford for dinner… but I'm coming home for dessert. Hmmm… just thinking of all sorts of sweet treats to eat." She leans in and licks Faith's neck. Faith shivers.

" Now, I'll be home early. REALLY early! So I want to see that frowny face gone when I get back, " Buffy says, " And maybe, the clothes, too!"

" You better be early. I'm craving sweets. Ever tell you I have a wicked sweet tooth?"

Buffy laughs. " You and Will both." She hops off Faith's lap, and goes to the mirror to fix her lipstick. " You know honey, speaking of Will…"

" Were we? I thought we were speaking of dessert, " Faith follows her, encircling her in her arms.

" I'm serious here. I'm thinking… we need to include her in things."

" Well, sure honey. She's our friend. Of course we should include her in things. I mean, she could use to get out sometimes…"

" Sure, sure. But we should bring her in sometimes too. To more intimate things…"

" Buffy! What're you saying?"

" I'm saying, that we're happy, and should share that with Will."

" And share how?"

Buffy rubs her butt against Faith's groin. " How do you think?"

" I'm thinking, this is another one of your crazy schemes, Lucy" Faith teases her. " What next? Bring in Ford, too?"

" Of course not! That would be…well…." Buffy gets a silly expression on her face," … No, that's just not right. But Willow's different."

" How would that be, exactly?"

" Willow needs us!" Buffy says. She turns in Faith's arms. " Look, she's got this quixotic notion…"

" Who?"

" Quixotic. You know? Don Quixote? No…ok, she's got this thing that she feels she has to stick with Tara, no matter what. Even though we know that Tara's not home anymore…and Willow would too, if she would be honest about it. But no matter, while she's doing it, she's all alone. She doesn't have anyone. And until the other day, I never thought I'd see her even remotely happy again. God, Faith, she was nearly glowing. I love seeing her like that. And I don't think it's right that we're all lovey-dovey happy and she's all by herself. I think we need to find ways to make her happy, too."

" I'm all for a happier Willow, believe me," Faith looks a little nonplussed." Just… look, Buffy, what we got? It's new… getting used to each other? Going to be hard enough. Adding another in that mix? I think It'll just going to make things… weird," Faith sees Buffy's not getting it. " Feelings could be hurt."

Buffy cocks her head. " Gee, aren't WE full of ourselves? Thinking Willow's going to go gaga over you?"

" Not Willow and me I'm worried about Buffy, " Faith says quietly, " It's you and Willow. You guys have a big history. You've shared a lot. You have parts of her heart I nor anyone else could ever touch, and visa versa. This could blow up in your face, in a way you haven't thought of." Faith's expression gets grim. " Not sure I could handle that."

Buffy gets serious. She cups Faith's face in her hands. " Look at me honey," She says, but Faith looks away with her eyes. " Please, look at me." Faith finally does. " No one, no one, could ever replace you in my heart, baby. It can't happen. Sure, Willow may have pieces of my heart. Lots of people do. Even Ford does. But that doesn't mean you have any less. You have my heart honey, with all the attendant baggage. It's yours, and yours as long as you want it."

Faith doesn't answer; she just pulls Buffy into a hug.

" I'm not asking for an answer right now, but think about it. Please, just think about it. Willow's too sweet a person to just drift away, and that's what I'm afraid will happen. It's only to get her over a really bad time hon, really."

" I won't say no, Buff, " Faith says quietly, " but I'm not really feeling I want to agree, either. I'll think about it."

" That's all I ask, lover, " Buffy leans in, kissing her. " and if you decide to agree, then we'll sound her out. I will, cuz knowing you, you'll just charge in there and say, ' Wanna sleep with Buffy and me?' " Buffy teases her.

Faith smiles briefly. " Ok Buffy. "

Buffy gives her a sidelong look. " What? What's wrong?"

" Nothing baby, honest, " Faith smiles broadly." Just go what you gotta do with Ford, then come back home. I'm missing you already."

" I'll be home as soon as I can, promise, " Buffy says. She leans in and kisses Faith.

" Ok, honey," Faith sits quietly on the bed, looking at her.

" Aren't you coming down to say hi?"

" No, I don't think so, Buff."

" Faith, are you sure everything's alright?"

" OF course it is," Faith grins, " Just don't forget you're way home."

Ok honey, " Buffy chuckles, " Bye."

" Bye, Buffy."

Buffy goes out the door.

Faith walks over to the bed, and sits. She then lays back on her bed, smelling Buffy's scent. She sighs.

" Ah, Buffy, Buffy, Buffy."

11

Faith is downstairs watching TV with Joyce when the knock came.

At first, neither heard it. They were engrossed in some reality program, and the sound was a bit loud. Then the knocking became poundings on the door.

" Well, that's rather rude, " Joyce says, starting to get up.

" I'll get it mom. You stay." Faith is out of her chair, walking towards the door.

The pounding becomes louder, more insistent as she approaches the door.

" Hold on, I'm coming," Faith calls out. She opens the door.

Standing in the doorway is Ford. He looks like he's been in a fight. His shirt and jacket are torn, and his face has blood on it from a cut on his scalp. His lip is also cut and bleeding.

" My god, Ford. What happened?" Faith says, pulling him in. "Where's Buffy?"

Joyce is up, walking swiftly to the front entryway.

Ford almost collapses on the floor. He's breathing hard, and his eyes seem a little unfocused. Faith helps him to a chair in the dining room.

Joyce gets a pale, stunned look to her face. She holds it together by going to the kitchen to get water for Ford.

" It's… Buffy… god, they've… got her…holding her…. " Ford gets out through gasps. " Gotta … help … her…"

" Ford, tell me, what happened?" Faith insists.

Joyce brings Ford the water, which he drinks greedily. He looks up.

" It was… at the restaurant. We were just coming out … when these large guys attacked us. I tried… I tried to fight them off, but they were too strong for me. Buffy fought too, but they…knocked her out… God, I think they were vampires. There was something wrong with their faces."

" Buffy? Is she alright? Where is she, Ford?" Joyce asks, in full panic.

" I … I don't know. Somehow I managed to get away… I don't know how. But they took her is some building downtown… god, I don't know… they've got her… oh, god if they hurt her I don't know what I'll…" he starts to cry.

"It's ok Ford, we'll get her back, " Faith says, calmly to keep him and Joyce from freaking. " do you know where you were? Can you take me there?"

" Don't know. Think so… not too far from the restaurant. I ran away from them, trying to get away… I got my car… I managed to …get away… oh god. I ran… I left her there… with them…" He starts to shake.

" Ford, Ford, stop it!" She slaps him. He manages to pull himself together. " I need you here, focused. I need you to take me there…"

" Ok, ok, " he mumbles.

Faith is up, going towards the closet. " Mom, can you put a bandage on that cut of his? I need him to drive."

" Ok," Joyce looks shell shocked.

"Mom … mom, " Faith comes back, taking Joyce by her arms. " I need you with me now. Get a bandage for Ford, please."

" Oh, god, Faith. They've got her… my little girl.. oh God!"

" I'll get her back, I promise, Mom," Faith says. _Or I won't come back either._

" Please, please get her back," Joyce acts as if she hadn't heard.

" I will, mom, I promise. Now please, go take care of Ford. I need him to show me where they were."

" Ok." Joyce runs to get the med kit from the kitchen.

Faith runs upstairs to her room. She grabs her leather jacket out of the closet, and puts it on. She goes to a lower drawer in her dresser, and opens it. Out of it she pulls extra stakes, some holy water, and a large knife in a sheath. She straps the sheath to her leg, and pockets the stakes and holy water, slipping one stake up each sleeve.

She stops for a second, trying to clear her mind. _So, this is it. I knew something was up as soon as I got up for the door. Ok, Buffy, game time. You and me now. And believe me, Buffy. You're coming home, B. We'll fix this. I promise you that._

Faith goes downstairs, taking two steps at a time.

Ford is patched up, but he still looks pale, and his expression is tight.

" Are you ok? Can you drive?" Faith asks, quietly.

" Yes, I can do it," Ford says, nodding. He stands a little unsteadily.

" Let's do it."

Helping him out, they make their way to Ford's car. Ford opens his door, and slides in. Faith hops in the front seat, and in a few seconds, the car pulls away form the curb.

A few seconds later, a large car, parked up the street a few houses, starts up, makes a U-turn, and follows them.

"Where is it? Do you even remember?" Faith says impatiently, as Ford circles around, trying to remember where they were dragged to.

" It's here, I know it is… dammit, it was so fast… wait…that hydrant! Over there. I remember it. I nearly tripped over it, trying to get away!" Ford pulls over to the curb, by the hydrant.

_Smooth, guy. I almost bought that!_

" Where'd they take her?" Faith asks, looking around.

" Down there, down the alley." Ford points to the closest alley.

" You sure?"

" Yes, that's it… I remember now."

" Ok, " Faith turns to him. " You stay here. Don't get out, and don't do anything stupid."

" Faith?"

" What?" Faith asks, starting to get out.

" I'm sorry." He plunges the ring he has on her hand. A needle pops out, piercing the skin.

Faith feels a sharp pain, and looks at him.

" Ford… what the hell?" She goes to hit him.

But suddenly there's another Ford in the car, then another and another… her vision gets blurry, and dark around the edges.

" Oh… fu…" She says, just before she passes out.

Ford quickly retrieves the masking tape from the back of the car. He binds her hands, feet and gags her. Getting out of the car, he goes around and opens her door. Lifting her, he throws her on his shoulder. He turns, and starts down the alley.

In a large car parked half a block back, three sets of eyes witness the events. The doors fly open, and three figures emerge. They quickly stride down the street. After looking around, they follow Ford down the alleyway.

To be continued.


	11. Chapter 11

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 11

Disclaimer: All characters portrayed in this story that appeared in the Television series " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are the sole property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Inc, and Fox Inc. All other original characters are the property of the author, as is the story. Work of fiction, any resemblance to anyone living or dead coincidence. Blah, Blah, Blah. Enough already, I don't make a dime and am very tired of lawyer speak. Aren't you?

"You are your choices"  
_Seneca_.

1

Rupert Giles paces nervously about the shop. It's earlier in the evening of the same day .

He watches as Amy reads through Buffy's diary. She insisted it would help in modifying the ritual of restoration spell if she knew Buffy's mindset. But he suspected there was also a healthy does of curiosity and snooping involved. Whatever it was, as he watched, he saw her eyebrows raise and lower, and more than once her cheeks color a deep crimson. She somehow managed to keep that little crooked smile of hers, but there were times when it slipped.

" Wow," She says, coming up for air. " I suspected something was off about her… but wow." She shakes her head.

" It is rather disturbing. When I started reading it, I was shocked that Buffy had … changed so. And some of it is rather graphic in it's descriptions. Dear me."

" And some of it hot … I didn't think you could bend your body into those positions, " Amy says with a mild awe.

"AMY!" Giles say, face coloring. " I don't believe we need a critique on Buffy's amorous affairs."

" Critique my butt. This is pure out and out admiration, Giles, " Amy grins, looking at one particular passage and blushing.

Giles grabs the book away, and flips back through some pages. He reviews some of the rambling narrative, and reads some of the poetry.

" I thought before you might be a bit … impetuous in your assessment of Buffy's circumstance. But reading this tome more meticulously, I'm finding myself more in concurrence with your estimation."

Amy looks at him strangely.

" I agree with your opinion of her mental state."

" Oh," Amy says. " She's a bit loony."

" That's a tad simplistic, but yes, essentially. She definitely shows signs of being having multiple personalities."

" Right. But I'm still believing it's not like…real. It's all part of her, or at least, parts of her, seeing what she went through. They just sort of need to be under control again."

" Yes, therefore the ritual of restoration. Bringing some order back to the chaos that appears to be Buffy." He shakes his head. " It's just so difficult to believe. She seemed to be doing so well…"

" Well, I think first thing, we've got to work out the spell. That's not going to be easy. I really wish Willow were here. She's good at this kind of thing."

" Well, from Faith's reaction yesterday, I'm not sure we can count on Willow. I'm afraid we're going to have to do this."

" And then, we really need to convince Buffy…"

The bell to the shop rings, and two men enter. One is wearing a long black duster, the other is dressed conservatively casual, and wears glasses,

" That's sort of why we're here," Angel says, walking towards Giles. " Rupert." He nods greeting.

"Angel!" Giles says, surprised. " I admit I wasn't expecting you. Why are you here?" he looks over to where Wesley is wandering around the shop. " Why is _he_ here?"

" Well, we were hoping to see Buffy. Maybe I could talk to her, try to suss her out a bit. Faith called me yesterday, and was quite convinced that Buffy's gone well… how'd she put it?.. Oh yeah, freaky with a side of insane-o. Faith might just be overly cautious… but…" Angel shrugs. "She's been through a lot. She really could need help."

" More than you know." Giles hands him Buffy's journal. " You might want to take a look at this."

" My, Mr. Giles, I must say. You've done a bang up job with the place, " Wesley, approaching the counter, comments. " I see you have the real soul of a shopkeeper." He nods, looking around." Of course, I suppose you have to keep busy somehow these days, seeing how you don't get out in the field as often as before…"

Giles makes a strange clucking sound with his tongue. " Yes," He replies, dryly, " This from the former Watcher who on his first day, bragged to me how he had experience with two, count them two, vampires. Under controlled circumstances, of course."

" Now, now, kids. If you keep fighting like that, " Angel says, while he reads, " I'm going to have to… geeze…" his eyes widen. He re-reads the passage, then taking the book with him to Amy, points out the passage. "… is that even possible?"

Amy looks at it, her eye go wide, and she cocks her head. " I … don't know. I never tried it." She looks again." Sounds…painful."

Angel reads on, his expression alternating between surprise, consternation and grimness. Finally, he slams the book shut and hands it back to Giles. " I don't know who that is, but that's not the Buffy I know. Or really ever want to know. I think Angelus might be in love, though."

" Yes, rather," Giles voice is rather flat. " There is more. I don't know if Faith told you, but we suspect Buffy has kidnapped Willow."

" What?" Wes says, surprised. " Why would she do that?"

" We don't know. But from that journal, Faith concludes she'll be next. And as she put it, we won't have to wait long for her next move."

Angel doesn't look pleased. " Any idea where Buffy or Faith is? Have you seen either of them today?"

" No, actually. I fear they don't come her often these days. Busy I suppose."

" Well, ok, has Buffy been acting strangely?" Wesley asks," anything out of character?"

" No, not that I noticed. But again…she isn't in much."

" Wait a moment. I seem to remember something Joyce said. About Buffy having a date this evening." Rupert looks at his watch." She's probably just going out on it now, matter of fact."

" Oh? Who's she dating? " Angel asks. Maybe with the tiniest grain of jealousy in his voice.

Rupert glances up. " Oh… a young man named Ford. Ummm… William Fordham. Yes, that's it. I believe he's an old friend of hers from L.A. She's been seeing him on and off." Giles muses a bit. " I remember, she brought him by the shop once. Nice enough chap." His brow furrows. " A little strange, though. Seemed a bit out of it, as the kids say. And he wears a strange collar around his neck. When I brought it up in conversation, he said it was a gift from Buffy."

" Collar? From Buffy?" Angel asks. He recalls a long passage about pet training in the journal. It wasn't referring to the cute adorable furry kind with tails, either. " Do you think Faith might be at home?" He asks.

" I believe so…she isn't going on patrol, I know that." Giles looks at Angel with some bewilderment. " Why do you ask?"

" I think we need to get over to Buffy's house. Keep an eye out. I think Faith may be right." He turns and heads for the exit. " Wes, let's go."

" Wait, I'll come along," Giles calls out. " Amy? Would you be kind enough to close up the shop? And please, get started on that spell."

" Sure, Giles. Not a problem."'

" And, no filching the conjuring powder. It costs a lot."

" You're no fun at all." Amy sighs. _He didn't say anything about powered newt eyes, however._

Giles exits. He runs to catch up with Wes and Giles at Angel's car.

" So, I'm still puzzled. Why're we going there now?"

" I think whatever's going to happen? Is already happening."

" Oh, dear," Giles says, slipping in the back seat. The car pulls away from the curb. " Do you think we'll be in time?"

" I hope so, Giles. I hope so."

2

Faith feels like twin hammers are pounding her head from the inside. Her tongue feels glued to the roof of her mouth, and even closed, her eyes feel hot and grainy. For a moment, she's foggy._ What's going on?_

Then it all slammed back home. Ford drugged her. She remembers trying to hit him, and then all sorts of him weaving in front of her eyes before everything going black.

She pulls on her arms and legs, and confirms to herself she's bound tight. _Fuck, good one Faith. You knew Ford was a shill, shoulda thought he might try to roofie you. Naw, you thought fake vamp attack where they try to take you. Well, Angel, hope you were watching…_

She opens her eyes to see Buffy leaning over her, looking down on her face. Buffy smiles.

" Hey, there you are," Buffy snuggles closer to Faith. She plants a tiny kiss on her lips. " Thought you were going to sleep the night away."

" Well, Buffy. Got me all bound up now. Gonna do those things you said in those creepy little poems of yours?"

Buffy's smile turns to a frown. " You read my diary?" Angrily, she slaps Faith. " That was private!"

" Oh, and try taking drawing lessons? Took me awhile to figure out that it was a bleeding heart, and that toothpick coming out of it was a knife". She looks around," so where are we? This where you gonna kill me then?"

Buffy cocks her head, a strange little smile on her face. " Does it matter? Really?"

" No, guess not. Just curious." Faith struggles against her bonds, then relaxes. " This blows any way you kill me, you know?"

Buffy draws a finger down Faith's very naked chest. She stops near her heart. " God, Faith, you make it sound like I'm going to stick a knife in your heart. It's not like that."

" Dead's dead, Buffy" Faith struggles a little more.

" But you're only going to be dead briefly honey, then you'll be alive like you've never been alive before."

" Yeah, swell. A fucking blood sucker. So what? You gonna make me your bitch, Buffy? That the deal? Lead me around on a gold chain for all your vamp buddies to play with?"

" I was angry when I wrote that, Faith," Buffy flushes, " you'd just spurned me." She leans over, caressing Faith. " I don't want you as my bitch. That'd be a waste. I want you as my queen honey." She goes to kiss her, but Faith turns her head away. " Don't be like that Faith, please?"

" Like what? Angry?" Faith snorts. She pulls on her bindings, struggling to free herself. " Don't touch me. You make me sick." She keeps struggling.

" I got you something. Something special." Buffy gets up, walking towards the other room. Faith notices she's dressed simply, in a white, loose fitting strapless dress that just reaches her knees. Her hair is loose and flowing. _She looks so sweet and innocent, and she's so… _Faith shudders.

" I don't want anything you can give me, Buffy. Just forget it, " Faith calls out.

" You'll want this," Buffy calls back.

She enters the room, leading someone. From her position on the bed, tied down, Faith can't at first see who it is. All she can see is a pair of hips encased in a floor length sarong.

" What, another one of your toys, Buffy?" Faith makes a face. " Gimme a break, ok?"

At Buffy's urging, the hips move around so she's fully in Faith's line of site. It's Willow dressed in the sarong, and the only other thing she's wearing is a large smile. She climbs on the bed, and climbs up towards Faith.

" Red? God, what has she done to you?" Faith looks anxious.

" Hi, Faith," Willow says softly, leaning over to kiss Faith. " I've missed you. I'm glad you're here."

Faith looks at Buffy, furious. " What did you do to her? What kind of sick joke is this?"

" You don't like her?" Buffy looks a little upset. " You don't want her?"

" Faith, honey, " Willow cups Faith's face with her palm, turning it towards her. " Buffy didn't 'do' anything to me. Except free me."

Faith can't move, but her face expresses she would cringe away if she could. " God, Red. You're not thinking clearly." Faith turns to Buffy. " Did you drug her? What? This… god…" She hawks and spits at Buffy. " God, I hate you."

Buffy's whole face seems to collapse. Her eyes get large and shiny, and her mouth turns down into a sad frown. She doesn't say a word, but turns away, walking to distance herself.

" How could you do that?" Willow looks at Faith with angry, questioning eyes. " How could you…?" She shakes her head and gets up , going to Buffy, who by now is shaking silently.

" Shhh, Buffy, no. Don't be upset. She just doesn't understand what you want to give her yet. She's angry, she'll come around." Willow holds Buffy, stroking her hair and back. " Shhh. It's ok, baby." She hugs her for awhile.

_God, this is just getting weirder by the second._ Faith stares at the two of them.

Willow turns back to Faith, her face red and angry. She comes over, staring down at the bound slayer.

" God, what is your problem anyway? Buffy didn't 'do' shit to me. All she did was free me. Take that 1000 pound guilt boulder I've been carrying around on my shoulders for years. Make me see that Tara isn't going to come back, ever. Finally free me from the pain and guilt. And you… you…" She spits on Faith. " You spit on her!"

" Willow!" Faith is shocked at her vehemence." What the hell? What're you doing? Don't you know what she wants to do? She wants to …"

" Change? Become a vampire? I'm not stupid, Faith. I know it. I want it!"

"Want it?" Faith looks sick. " You want to become… that?" She nods her head towards Buffy.

" She's sick, Faith. She's not meant to be human. Not anymore," Willow stares down at Faith. " God, she lost everything she was. I mean, you're a slayer, Faith. How'd it feel to just lose your powers. I don't think you'd handle it very well, either."

" But … to become a… thing? A vampire, " Faith shudders. " Will, it's not like putting on a dress. You can't change your mind. And it's not you anymore. It's some thing… it takes up residence in you, has your face, your memories; it walks and talks like you. But it _isn't_ you. It's a monster. You, the thing that makes you special? That's gone."

" You don't have a clue, Faith. You've never been one. She has, " Willow turns to Buffy, and smiles. It's gone when she turns back to Faith. " It's not like that at all. It frees you, empowers you, and makes you strong. God, it's called evil, because whimpering little people hate that they're not the top predator. Something preys on them. Well, boo-hoo!" She kneels beside Faith." God, the crap they've filled you with. Me with. All of us with. Vampire bad, man good. What a load! Look at people. They kill each other, shit on the environment, and try to destroy the planet. How good is that, huh? Who're the real monsters here?"

" Will, don't," Buffy comes over, putting her hands on Willow's shoulders. " She doesn't get it. She's filled with the crap they've shoved down her throat. Don't get upset. I didn't bring you out here to lecture her, just to please her."

" I'm sorry, Buff. I just didn't like what she said to you, did to you. You're right, she's just… " She leans her head on Faith's thigh." Sorry, Faith, I know it's just that crap they've brainwashed you with. I get upset when someone hurts Buffy, is all. Don't be mad, ok?" She smiles up at Faith.

The sheer wrongness of all this, added with the scent of madness, makes Faith shudder.

" God, Red, she's lying to you. She's feeding you a fairy story. Poor little vampires, so misunderstood. They're not vicious soulless killers. Oh no, they just go around taking a pint here and there, cuz they have to. But they're not bad, they don't relish the killing, they don't try to hurt anyone, they don't occasionally decide to destroy the world. Not them!" She looks at Willow with sad eyes. "I've talked to Angel. He's been a vamp. He clued me. I wanted to know what it was like for him. Thought it would help me. When he described what he did, what he felt doing it…." Faith closes her eyes in pain. " Don't you remember, Red? She … or the vamp she was… killed Xander. Did you forget that? How angry you were, how hurt you were? Or isn't that important anymore?"

" She did it because of you, Faith, " Willow looks at her. " If you hadn't been so damned stubborn, maybe Xander would be alive now!"

" Oh, it's _MY _fault now, is it? Gee, how typical. See that hasn't changed any." Faith shakes her leg, knocking Willow's head off her. " Get away from me. You never changed how you feel about me. Get away!"

Willow, hurt, retreats.

" You believe Angel?" Buffy says, looking at her. " Angelus? King of the liars? He'd tell you anything to get what he wants."

" Angel always played it straight with me."

" Oh yeah, straight into your pants. God, he was just using you, Faith. Don't you see that? He just wanted to get horizontal with you. "

" that's a total load, Buffy. _IF _you were really Buffy, you'd know that."

" Oh yeah. Remember when I walked in on the two of you in L.A.? Looked pretty cuddlesome to me. If I hadn't come in, I bet he would've been making you really happy in a few."

" That's just sick. It wasn't like that at all. He was comforting me. I guess I needed it. But you just came in, and got all jealous. As usual."

" Seems there was a time you wanted him in your pants. Remember when you tried to make him Angelus? Be his true self? You were nearly creaming yourself, you wanted him so badly. And boy, the look on your face when you found out he was fucking with you. That was priceless," Buffy laughs.

" He was doing a job. Something YOU asked him to do, Blondie," Faith spits back, " I know that now. Sure I was pissed, but it wasn't about me. It was about you. He wanted to please you. He loved you. " Faith arches a brow. " I seem to remember you and he, really not getting along too well after that. Oh yeah, he told me. Seems someone couldn't get over what happened. Well, here's a newsflash, B. He never got wriggly with me. Didn't happen. I just flaunted it in front of you to hurt you, and it worked. " Faith shakes her head, " He loved only you, B. That never changed. He's a decent guy."

" Angel is a sadistic, perverted, selfish killer, Faith. He hasn't changed. He's just hiding it better these days."

" He's got a soul…"

" Oh, sure… and there's never, ever been ANYONE with a soul that's EVER done anything evil, has there, Faith?" Buffy looks pointedly at her.

" Yeah, I was a killer, B. A torturer. All of it. But the diff is, between me and you? I can change. I can atone for what I did, but you? No way, you can't change. You don't want to change. In your head, you're not evil. You're right. You justify what you do because you think you're better than anyone else. You think you're better than me, " Faith smirks." Well, get a clue, Blondie, you're not. You'll never be."

Buffy sits down next to her, then leans over her." Not better, lover. I just know what I want. I want to be happy, and to make you happy. I want to be with you forever, making you happy." Buffy kisses the top of Faith's chest. "So tell me lover. Are you happy? The way you are? All that crap and guilt they've laid on you, does it give you a warm toasty feeling inside?" She leans over, kissing the space between Faith's breasts. Faith gasps ." Walking around, looking at people, wondering if they're judging you? When you sleep at night, getting the dreams. Are you happy, having the nightmares, baby? Waking up, sweating because they've made you feel bad about who you are? When they actually notice you, not ignore you, does it give you a thrill when they pat your head and call you good girl? Is it fun, Faith, being their puppet, going out to fight the ' bad guys', when in your heart you're really a bad guy? You want to be bad, so much it aches in you? Having a happy now, Faith, thinking about it?"

Buffy shifts her position, straddling Faith. She gives her a long, slow lick from her navel to the hollow of her neck. Faith shivers.

" I can taste it in you, baby. How you want to be bad. How you want to let it go, be bad again. It tastes like honey, " Buffy leans over, licking Faith's lips." Mmmm. So sweet. I can taste the darkness, lover. It's spicy and hot." She leans closer, her lips almost caressing Faith's . " I love spicy and hot." She touches her lips to Faiths, then pulls away. " I love it a lot"

She grabs Faith's hair in her hand, and holds her head as she kisses her. It's hot, fierce and passionate. She crushes her lips on Faith's, pushing her tongue against Faith's closed mouth.

Faith struggles against her, trying to move her head to avoid the lips. But slowly she starts to relax. Her struggles get weaker, then stop. Her mouth opens, and Buffy's tongue invades her, licking her palette and tongue. Faith feels herself sucking her tongue, greedily.

_Ok, wrong so wrong gotta stop this now. Angel, where the fuck are you? Aw shit I wish she wouldn't… oh man… oooh, man…. Concentrate, Faith. Use this…. God, it's hard to think… just think… you can use this…_

Buffy smiles as she breaks the kiss. " Mmmm… now that's my girl." Her warm tongue begins to caress Faith's face. " You taste so good. It's hard to believe you're so bad, " Buffy chuckles as she licks.

_I really wish she'd stop that. Hard to think… oh fuck, what's the deal with my toes?_

Faith glances down, and sees Willow leaning over her feet, sucking on her toes. She looks up at Faith, and giggles.

Buffy sits back on her hips, and pulls down on her dress. Her upper body is revealed, her nipples hard and needy.

" C'mon baby," Buffy breathes, tweaking her own nipples, licking her lips. " You know this is what you want. Not that crap they make you do. We'll be together, you, me and Will, forever. " She leans over, brushing her nipples against Faith's lips. " Isn't this what you really want? I'll make you powerful. I'll make you strong again. I'll give you everything you've ever wanted, and more. We'll be together, love together, hunt together. Mmmm" Buffy leans closer, pushing her nipple against Faith's lips." Just do it, lover. Do it. Take what you want!"

Faith's mouth opens, and she sucks in Buffy's nipple. She suckles it greedily, like a child.

" Oh yes, oh yes, lover. Do it… god, take it, take it all…" Buffy's body starts to squirm as warm tingles rush through her.

Faith seems lost in the moment, suckling Buffy's breast. She feels Willow licking her calves, and she gets a big low down tickle.

Buffy's hand slide up over Faith's tummy , caressing her breasts. " It's gonna be so sweet honey. So sweet. It'll be like nothing you've ever felt before." Her hands cup Faith, and kneed her.

Faith feels fiery tingles flowing through her. Her resistance is gone, she just settles back, knowing she can't stop this. Her heart starts to hammer faster when she feels a tongue on her thighs, then someone is nibbling the flesh, sending tiny sparks to her sex.

Buffy pushes back, a small smacking sound is made when her breast pulls from Faith's mouth. She gets up, and goes around Faith, sitting at her head. She caresses her hair, then leans over Faith, lowering her mouth to her breasts. Faith sighs.

Her sighs turn to whimpers when she feels a warm tongue touch her sweet low down. The tongue dances up and down her, sending hot nastiness flowing all through her. Faith's head lolls to the side, then the other as the fire starts to burn in her tummy.

But her attention is drawn upwards when Buffy's hips are over her face. Her loose skirt reveals Buffy's a very naughty girl that doesn't believe in underwear. More, her sweet peach seems to be wet… and so juicy… then the peach starts to lower closer… and closer… and closer to her face until it's on her face.

Buffy adjusts herself, moving her peach around until she finds Faith's mouth. Then she pushes back just the tiniest bit… and is rewarded when a soft tongue begins to lick her peach. Buffy's arches her neck back, sighing heavily as Faith's tongue splits her peach, lapping up her juicy goodness.

Smiling dreamily, Buffy lowers her head to watch as Willow uses her tongue to pleasure Faith. Willow looks up and smiles, and the two kiss deeply, Willow pushing her tongue into Buffy's mouth so she can taste Faith's sweet honey. The kiss continues for a bit, then they break. Willow gets back to work, as Buffy teases Faith's bud from its hiding place. She touches it with her tongue tip, and is rewarded by Faith's loud groan.

But Buffy is having a hard time concentrating, her own fires building up in her tummy. Faith's tongue is making her crazy, and she finds her body rocking back and forth , pushing back to get her tongue deeper within herself. She feels the scream building in her when the first wave of pleasure hits, and she sings it out as the second, third and fourth hit in quick succession.

Dizzy as she is, Buffy gamely tries to pleasure Faith's bud, her tongue lapping over it. She is rewarded when she hears Faith groan loudly, then moan and scream as her body stiffens underneath Buffy. Then she hears Willow's squeals, and looking, she sees Willow's face covered in lickable goodness. Smiling like the cat that ate the cream, she licks Willow's face as Willow giggles.

"mmmm… sweet little Willow. Working so hard, and no reward. I don't think that's fair at all." Buffy kisses her softly. " Now turn around baby, I want to taste that Willowy goodness."

Willow does so with alacrity, and Buffy is presented with an up close and personal view of Willow's cute little ass. _Mmmm. So pretty, _Buffy thinks as she begins to nibble on the soft cheeks. Willow giggles, and wiggles as Buffy playfully slaps her, then kisses the little love slaps. But she really lets out a happy sigh when Buffy gives her a serious lick down between the cheeks.

" Oh god, Buffy," Willow sighs, loving it. Her head lowers to the bed as major rivers of fire run through her.

Buffy slathers her tongue over Willow's little peach, enjoying the juicy sweetness." Oooo," Buffy mumbles, as she continues to tongue her, " somebody's been all naughty…getting so wet and nasty." She begins to slap Willow's butt cheek as she licks up her flowing juices. " bad, bad girl" She slaps Willow harder.

" OH …OH… god, Buffy yeeeessss do that hurt me please I love it when you do that ooooohhhhh" Willow cries out, feeling her sweet release building stronger in her. The pain and pleasure take her higher, making her hotter and wetter.

Willow's ass and hips start to rock. Buffy wraps her arms around Willow, and concentrates on her sweetness, pushing her deeper and higher.

Willow lets out a loud moan, followed by a scream as the first wave hits her. She bites the bed as the second hits her, and collapses as the third causes her to pass out. She lays there, a happy smile on her lips, eyes closed.

Buffy giggles at the sight of the unconscious Willow, then turns around and makes her way up to Faith. She sees Faith staring at her. She cuddles close, gently caressing her. She kisses her, and lays her head close to Faith's

" There, how's my bad girl feeling now?"

Faith smiles. But her eyes seem different, harder somehow. Her smile turns to a smirk.

" Pretty damned good. B" She says, a little breathily.

"So, do you want to be bad with me?" Buffy kisses her neck.

Faith stares out into space. Her eyes are black and glossy like obsidian.

" I came up here to save you, Buffy. I thought you needed saving. But I was wrong. You don't need saving. You know what you want. And you were right. I'm not happy. I'm not cut out for this ' good girl' crap. I'm a bad girl, a real bitch at heart. And I wanna to be bad. It feels sooo good to be bad. Yeah, I'm thinking, this could be sweet. Real sweet. And wicked cool. So let's do it, Buffy. Let's do it."

Buffy smiles in triumph. She raises up and sliding her arms under Faith's neck, holds her.

" Now, that's _my_ girl" She says, just before she kisses Faith passionately.

3

Angel peers down the alleyway, watching as Ford knocks on a door. The door opens, and he enters the building close to the end. Angel's brow furrows.

"Well, it seems he knows where he's going," Angel says. " Buffy mentioned in her journal that she had a club downtown. I wonder…"

" Wouldn't it be rather suspicious carrying a body into a public place?" Wes asks.

" It's a private club, Wes. Pretty sure, no one questions the owner."

" That would be Buffy?" Giles asks.

" Good Rupert, you catch on quick," Angel vamps out. " So I say, we should do a little club hopping. What do you guys say?"

" Exactly what kind of club is this?" Giles asks, a little startled at Angel's change.

" Kind more likely I'd be going to than you, Rupert, " Angel smiles. It's a bit chilling. He throws his arms around each of their necks, and starts dragging them along .

" This is rather uncomfortable, Angel, " Wesley gasps out.

" So's life, Wes. So's life." He looks at them both. " When we get to the door, play along."

Wes and Giles manage to look at each other. They're not sure they like the sound of that.

Angel reaches the door, and kicks it a few times. A peephole opens in the door, and still holding Wes and Giles, he leans over, grinning at the doorman.

The door opens slowly, and the doorman, fair sized himself, blocks the door.

" Yes, can I help you, sir?"

" Well, you could be getting yourself out of the way so I can come in."

" I'm sorry sir, this is a private establishment, by invitation only."

" Ah, yes, invitation. Wait now. Let's see…" he turns to Wes. " Do you have the invite?" Wes shakes his head, best he can. Angel turns to Giles. " How 'bout you?" Giles also shakes his head. He looks somewhat red. Angel turns back to the doorman. " Seems I misplaced my invitation."

" I see," the man starts to close the door, but Angel stops it with his foot.

" Now, don't be hasty. Check the list, boyo."

The doorman, much put upon, sighs. " Very well, sir. Name?"

" Angelus"

The man looks up in surprise. " Really. _THE_ Angelus?"

" No, lad. I'm his cousin from Cork. Yes, _THE_ Angelus."

" Well, that is a different case. You're quite well known around here, " The doorman frowns." Heard you have a soul now."

" Have a soul, don't have a soul. Right now, don't. So be a good boy, and let us in. Or…?" Angelus grins. Again, not exactly a heart warming sight.

"Well sir," The vampire swallows hard. Angelus' rep proceeds him. " If it were up to me, I'd let you right in. But there _are_ rules, sir. And the owner is very picky about who she lets in."

" I see. And who would that be? The owner?"

" Buffy. Buffy Summers."

" Really? Wee lass, stands oh… about this tall." Angel puts out his hand, still gripping Wes's neck. A gurgling sound is heard."… blonde, really perky?"

" Well, except for the perky, yes."

" We go way back. I'm sure she'd be happy if I came right in…" Angel starts to drag Wes and Giles with him.

" Sir, please," the doorman holds up his hand. " I'm afraid I'd have to check with her, and right now she has instructions not to be disturbed." The doorman looks askance at Wes and Giles, " and who would these be?"

" My blood dolls. I promised them a night out. They can get cranky, you know." Angel smiles.

" Indeed. Well, I suppose if they're with you. Still, I'll have to check with someone."

" By all means, do. I'll come with." He releases Wes and Giles suddenly, who fall to the floor. He looks at them, with arched brow. " Good boys. Sit. Stay!" He turns to the other vamp. " They'll wait right there."

Wes, rubbing his neck, whispers to Giles. " Blood dolls?"

" Vampire thralls. Human." Giles replies, rubbing his.

" Oh…OH!"

Angel and the doorman walk a few steps, and then Angel halts. " You know what? I think I'll just go see her myself" Before the other vamp can react, he has his head in his hands. He twists it, and a loud snapping is heard. The other vamp turns to dust. " I want it to be a surprise."

He turns to Wes and Giles. " Well? Are you going to sit there all night? Let's go!" He stage whispers to them.

They get up, and follow him in.

"Whatever you do, blend in!" Angel hisses to them.

" You didn't say what kind of club this is, " Giles reminds him.

" Vampire Club. Be cool." Angel walks off to lean over the Gallery.

"Oh dear." Giles sighs.

A tall, leggy brunette with really large eyes comes up to Wesley. She gives him the once over, which causes Wes to go a bit pale.

"Well, hello salty goodness, " She says, almost purring it out. " Lost honey?"

"No," Wesley manages, " I'm a regular. Come here all the time."

" Really, that's strange. I come here all the time too. I've never seen _you_ before. I think I'd remember."

" Well. I'm usually not with him, " Wes nods towards Giles.

" Oh, I see." She blinks. " OH, I see. You're not …like…" she shakes her head.

" Hmmm? Oh… no… indeed not."

" Good, " she smiles seductively. " So, cutie, what say…" she runs her fingers up and down his lapel. " Want to dance?" She looks over at Giles. " I'm sure your dad here can find something to do…"

" Yes, " Giles says dryly, " I'm sure l left my bottle of Geritol around here somewhere…"

" Hmmm… dancing…"

" Wes. We're here on business. I don't think…" Giles starts.

" Dancing, yes. That would be nice," Wes cuts off Giles.

The Brunette smiles, and offers her arm. Wes takes it, and leads her down to the dance floor.

" Bloody burke, " Giles mutters. He moves to the Gallery rail.

A petite red head sidles up to Angel, looking down on the dance floor. She sighs heavily.

" Something the matter?" Angel asks, also scanning the floor for a sign of Buffy.

" Just… nothing really looks tasty tonight. And I can't decide if I want a big meal tonight, or just a snack to hold me over." She gives the floor another sweep. " hmmm, hmmm, hmmm."

" Well, what about that one?" Angel points to one of the costumers in a cape.

" Yeah, he looks edible. But geeze… kinda fat, don't you think? Looks a bit dorky in that costume, too."

" Well, are you going to eat him, or date him?" Angel asks.

" True," she giggles. " You're new here. Hi, I'm Linda."

" Angelus."

Linda's eyes go wide. " _THE_ Angelus?" She asks, almost in awe.

" Why does everyone do that? I eat my victims, one at a time, just like everyone else."

" It's just that you're rather famous, "Linda says, doing a little hero worship, " especially around here. The Mistress talks about you a lot. You guys had a thing, back when she was human, right?"

" You might say that," Angel replies, " So, do you know where Buff might be?"

" Oh yes!… oh… but … she's kind of tied up at the moment… or someone is…" She giggles.

Angel feels a small chill._ Damn, that'd be Faith or Willow._

" Oh, c'mon, I'm sure she could spare a few moments for an old friend." Angel smiles at her.

Linda gets a little melty. " I'd really love to. But the Mistress… well, she can be quite upset if she's interrupted. Especially now."

_Mistress. Still trying to get my mind wrapped around that one. Buffy in leather and high heels…hmmm… Angel, business. Keep focused!_

" Why now?"

" Oh…well, something important is going down. Really important."

"Oh?" _More stomach ice._

" Yes, and she can't be interrupted for anything."

" So, what's happening?"

" I can't say. Secret."

" Oh, c'mon, We're friends, "Angel takes her hand and squeezes it. " Aren't we?"

More melty. " I just can't really say. But let's just say, a change is in the works."

" A change huh?" Angel feels his stomach tighten up. " sounds important."

"Oh ,it is… I really should be up…well, working right now. But I'm just so hungry, " Linda looks sadly over the railing. " We've been working so hard the last couple of days, breaking in the new pet. Haven't had much time to hunt."

" New pet?"

" Yes… red hair, like mine. Well, not like mine. Mine's frizzier. She's a sweetie, but still required a lot of work. You know?"

" Oh yeah…pets can be such a problem, " Angel nods. _God, what is she into, anyway?_" So, does this new pet have a name?" He asks, not really wanting to hear…

" Willow, like the tree. Kinda cute."

" Willow…yes." Angel looks around._ Oh crap. She is here…and change? Not sounding good!_ " So, any chance of getting a little meet time with Buffy? For old time's sake, and all. I mean…" He reaches out and caresses Linda's cheek. " … I've come a long way to see her…"

Big melty. " Gee… I don't know…"

" Ah, c'mon, " Angel says, laying on the charm. He does that cute little half smile girls go gaga over. " I'm an old friend. Can't you help me out?"

Puddle. Red headed puddle with starry eyes. " Well… I'm not supposed to, but I guess…well, I can't let you in while the change is happening… but I don't see any reason you can't watch from the doorway…"

" You're a peach, " Angel smiles at her. " So, when's this ' change' going down, anyway?"

" The new girl…just got in… geeze, the mistress said she needed time to prepare her…so …" she shrugs. " … it might be awhile…"

_New girl! FAITH!_

" Oh? Well… ok," Angel shrugs nonchalantly.

" Look, I don't want to sound like a pig, but I'm really starving here, " Linda says smiling. " Let me grab a snack, and I'll meet you over there" She points at the end Gallery, " … and I'll take you to the place, ok?"

" Sure, you're a doll, " Angel winks at her.

Shivers. Major shivers. " Thanks, handsome." She walks around him. " How the Mistress ever let go of you…" she clucks her tongue. " Seeya later." She trots downstairs.

Angel rolls his eyes, then spotting Giles, walks over to him. " Where's Wes?"

Giles nods down on the floor, where Wes seems to be dancing up a storm.

" Does he know she's a vampire?"

" I don't think so. I think he was thinking with that brain of his south of his belt buckle" Giles says with some asperity.

" You don't like him very much, do you?"

" He's a pillock" Giles mutters.

" He's changed, Rupert. Not the same …well, twit… he used to be."

" I don't know…" Giles says, looking at Wes downstairs.

" Anyway, we better get him. I might have an idea where they are."

" Really?"

Angel nods, then leads the way downstairs.

" You're English, aren't you?" Gina, Wesley's dance partner, smiles.

" Yes, rather. Born that way." Wes replies, enjoying the view.

Gina laughs. " And funny too. You're just too sexy," She dances closer, rubbing up against his side. " How come we haven't hooked up before?"

" Well, usually because he's working," Angel says, pulling Wes away," And we have a strict policy of not dating vampires." Angel vamps out, staring at her.

" Ah… sorry, didn't know he belonged to you, " Gina backs off. Still ,she throws Wes a kiss. " If you're ever looking for a new Mistress, give me a call sugar." She dances away.

Angel and Giles look askance at him. Wes pulls out a cross. " I knew she was a vampire." He says defensively.

"Well, anyway, if you're done dating the undead now, Wes. I think I know where Faith and Buffy might be. Willow too."

" Oh?"

" Yeah. Look up guys, Tell me what you see?"

" Hmmm… big screen TV's" Wes says.

" The Gallery, " Giles adds.

" A little further, guys."

" Hmmm?" Giles says, looking straight up. " Mirror ceilings. Oh."

" Mirrored ceilings. Interesting , but I don't see the relevance."

" This is a vampire club, Wes."

" Right… oh…OH" He looks up again. " I see. You think …?"

" I do… why have mirrors in this kind of club…unless you want to see and not be seen?" Angel points up. " Two way mirrors"

" So you think there might be something up there, then?" Wes asks. "Clever. Bird's eye view of the club."

" Yes, and I've arranged a way up. "

Angel briefly his encounter with Linda.

" So, you think that door leads upstairs?"

" Yes, and I'm supposed to meet her back there… after she grabs a snack," He looks at Wes.

" Do you think we should wait, Angel? Faith might be in danger."

" I don't think so. Buffy can't be vamped yet. And I suspect she's going to want to sire Faith and Willow." He sighs. " Anyway, if I read that diary right, she's pulling a Dracula on Faith…"

" I'm sorry?" Giles' brows ask the question.

" A Dracula. I'd figure you'd get the reference. Giving her the choice. Making her want to become a vampire."

" Ah yes…."

" Total crap, really. But then…" Angel looks around this club. " With her state of mind…" He looks up at the vampire movies playing on the screen. " Kinda fits. So I'm thinking we have some time yet, and I don't want to blow in too soon. Faith, when I talked with her, wanted time to bring Buffy around." He looks at Giles. " Is there something going on between Faith and Buffy?"

Giles blinks. " I… don't believe so…especially." He decides to keep Faith's private life private for now.

" Ok. Just she sounded sort of…." He trails off. " Anyway, lets go up. I've got a date with a little red-headed vamp. Hate to make her wait."

He makes his way to the staircase and heads up.

Wes hangs back, grabbing Giles' sleeve.

" Is there something between Faith and Buffy?"

" Not now, Wes, " Giles says, starting to follow Angel. " Not now."

Wes, looking a little confused, follows him.

4

"So happy," Buffy sighs, snuggling next to Faith.

Faith looks down between her legs, seeing Willow sleeping there.

" I think you killed her, B." She chuckles.

" Naw, she's just happy," Buffy says, kissing Faith on the neck. " Me too."

" Never seen a girl sleep with her ass in the air before, " Faith shakes her head. " She's a strange one."

" Yeah. There's only one of those in the world, " Buffy agrees. She smiles at Willow, who can be heard snoring lightly.

"So, Uhhh… Buff… about these chains. Real kinky… but totally getting old…"

" Of course, honey, " Buffy says. She gets up and walks over to Willow, slapping her raised ass.

" Huh? Wha? Lemme have another 5 mom, ok?" Willow says sleepily.

" Geeze, Buff. Let her sleep. I mean, you wore her out…"

" Faith, you have to get used to the pet concept. She's here to take care of you. She'd be upset if I let her sleep when you need something." She slaps Willow's butt again. "Anyway, I promised to let her let you out of those, when it was time."

" Buffy?" Willow sounds confused. Then she gets a big goofy smile on her face, " Buffy" she says softly.

" Willow, baby. Time to let Faith out of her chains."

" Huh? Really? You mean she…?"

" Oh yeah, Faith wants to be bad. Don't you lover?"

" Lookin' forward to it, B. " Faith grins. " So… Red… if you could…?"

Willow is up and off the bed in a flash. " Sure…" She starts for the keys, then doubles back going to Faith's head. " I love you!' She gives her a big wet kiss. " mmmmm".

_God, don't even go there now! _

Willow scampers off to the next room for the keys.

Buffy walks over to Faith, sitting by her. She strokes her finger up and down Faith's torso.

" Sorry about the chains, baby. But I needed you to be … well, I didn't want to drug you like Willow. I wanted it to be your choice, get it?"

" Oh yeah, " Faith says. " I get it."

" And you're happy with your choice?"

" Yeah, been thinking real good about this," Faith says, slipping back into old speech patterns. " really hate being … well, you, you know? I mean, you before you were what you are now. Get it?"

" Sure, hon, " Buffy says, a little wary. " You know I'm not like that now, don't you?"

" Sure, baby, sure. I read your journal. Anyway, lil miss Goody two shoes pom pom girl would never…" She grins. " She'd have a heart attack thinking about what we did, never mind doin' it." Faith chuckles.

" Right," Buffy smiles, " Right."

Willow comes in, key ring in hand. She goes over to Faith, and starts to unlock her manacles. They drop off Faith's wrists, and Faith pulls herself up, sitting on the bed.

" Whew, that's better, " She sighs, shaking out her arms. She reaches for Buffy, grabbing her. " C'mere."

She pulls Buffy into a passionate kiss. Buffy sighs, giving into it as Faith's tongue stabs in and out of her mouth. Faith then pushes her away, chuckling.

" What?" Buffy's smile wavers just a bit.

" Just love that goofy grin you get when I kiss ya, B." Faith smiles.

Buffy smiles back, feeling warmed by Faith's smile.

Faith feels the shackles drop from her feet. She whoops loudly, and starts bouncing on the bed.

" WHOOO Feels so good to be free, " She says, bouncing around the bed. " Oh yeah"

Buffy watches her, enchanted by her good spirits. Her heart flutters in her chest. _God, she's just sooo beautiful._

" Hey, B? Where's my jacket?" Faith says, still bouncing.

" Huh?"

" Smokes. Wanna smoke. Gave 'em up while in prison, but really wantin' one now. Since the big C not an issue, since I'm gonna be dead soon, figured what the fuck, right?" She bounces higher. " Kept a pack around, just in case."

" Right… " She signals to Willow.

"Naw, babe, I wanna get it, ok? I mean, I know where they are and all. Just tell me where my jacket is."

" Let Willow get it, she wants to…"

" What's wrong babe?" Faith does an aerial flip, and lands close to Buffy. " Don't you trust me?"

She leans Buffy into a deep, bend over backward kiss. Buffy just makes an " hmmmm" noise. Faith holds her as she breaks the kiss.

" So, where is it, babe?" She asks softly.

" In the closet in the next room" Buffy sighs. She leans in for another kiss.

" Bathroom around there too, B? Gotta pee, bad." Faith says, after the next kiss finishes. Buffy just nods.

" 'K, well, back in a bit. Don't get too cold yet, " Faith winks, and walks out of the room.

Buffy watches her leave, her little fire building watching Faith's bouncy stride. She signals to Willow, who comes over and cuddles her.

" Isn't she beautiful, " Buffy says, sighing a little.

" Oh, no doubt. She's a major hottie, " Willow agrees. Then she looks at Buffy. " But so are you!"

Buffy smiles, and looks at Willow." You're just the sweetest thing." She leans over to kiss Willow.

The kiss progresses, and soon the two are laying back on the bed, kissing and caressing each other.

" Well, check out the lust bunnies, " Faith smirks, watching them.

Willow and Buffy pull apart, smiling and blushing. Then Buffy's brow furrows.

" What's going on hon? Why're you wearing your coat?" Buffy gets up and goes to her. " Feeling cold? I can fix that."

" Naw, just thinkin… well, don't it look sexy?" Faith flaps her coat closed, then open, flashing Buffy. Buffy giggles.

" Baby, anything you do is sexy, " Buffy says, looking with adoring eyes at Faith.

Faith, on the other hand, is looking down at the club below. " So, this is all yours, huh B?" Faith asks. " Club too?"

" Uh huh…it's ours, baby, " Buffy smiles.

" Yeah, yeah, " Faith takes a drag off her cig, then walks around. " This is a pretty sweet set up I gotta say. Real sweet. I think I'm liking it." She walks around, examining the walls. Seeing the little catch on one of the panels, she hits it. The wall mounted rack comes into view. Faith whistles. " Wow. This where you punish the bad girls?"

Buffy laughs. " It's just a toy. Something to play on, " Buffy says.

" Looks fierce," Faith says. She walks around some more, touching things, examining things. She finally ends up back at the bed. " Yeah, this is real sweet."

" I'm glad you like it, hon."

" I'm really looking forward to the change now, you know? I mean, hey, I got lots of badness stored up, just waitin' to come out. And we get really strong, right?" She looks at Buffy, who nods," And all the cool stuff. Yeah…" She looks down. " Gonna love takin' over this town. I'm gonna have it in my back pocket, ya know?"

" You mean, we are, baby." Buffy smiles.

" Do I?" Faith says. " you know, I was thinkin' about that. Here I am, gonna be this powerful rich bad ass chick. Got all this stuff, gonna take over this little burg… and I'm thinking, this is like forever. So…" She turns to Buffy. She flicks the burning cigarette butt at her. " … why do I need you?"

Buffy feels a chill in her heart.

" What're you talking about, baby? We love each other, forever. It's gonna be sweet…"

" There you go with that forever junk again, you know? I mean, it's givin' me the wigs. Not forever, just forever with you."

" Faith. Baby, what's wrong. Did I do something to upset you?" Buffy comes toward Faith, but Faith puts up her hand.

" Do? You didn't do squat to upset me, B. Fuck no. Hell, you can barely do shit, anyway, you know? Well, except maybe the whine. You're tops when it comes to whining, B. Hell, if they had an Olympic event in whining, you'd take the gold every time!"

" Faith, what did I do? Why're you angry at me?" Buffy is starting to look scared.

" Angry? Shit, this aint angry, B. Hell no, I'm feelin' good. " Faith strides over and fakes her out with a backslap. She watches her reaction and laughs. " If I were angry, you little bitch, you'd be on the floor, bleeding. Naw, I'm not angry. Maybe a little bored…"

" Why're you being so mean?"

" Mean? Shit, this aint mean. This is only a preview of coming attractions, you know? Fuck, just wait til I get rid of this pesky soul of mine, then the real fun starts. No more conscience, no more worries about nothin. Nope, I just take what I want, have it, and do whatever I feel like." She looks casually at Buffy. She smiles, and walks over behind her. She slings one arm around her shoulder, the other down to grab her ass. " Yeah, I'm really lovin' this hot little body of yours. Too bad we didn't use it sooner. " She gives Buffy a hard goosing. " But hey, what do you say?" She leans close, whispering, " maybe we can get another coupla fucks in before the real fun starts." She squeezes Buffy's ass, hard.

" Don't, Faith, please. You're hurting me!" Buffy tries to get away.

" ' You're hurting me'," Faith mocks her. Her arm tightens around Buffy's neck. " You don't have a clue what hurting is, til I really hurt you, B."

Faith bites her hard on the shoulder. Buffy screams.

" Shit, you bit me!"

" Gee, Buff. Thought you liked getting bit, " Faith laughs.

Willow is up, charging Faith. " Let her alone! Don't you hurt her!"

Faith reaches out, and grabs Willow by the hair. She drags both of them back to the bed. " Sit the FUCK DOWN,WILLOW!"

Willow sits, looking up at Faith. There is real fear in her eyes.

" Who's your mistress, bitch?" Faith backhands her.

" you are, " Willow says meekly. She touches her face.

" Sorry, didn't catch that!" Faith hits her again. " WHO?"

" Y-You are, Mistress" Willow lowers her face.

" Stop it, Faith. You're hurting her!"

" You want some , B?" Faith raises her closed fist. " I won't open slap you!"

Buffy looks at her angrily, for a brief second. Then she lowers her eyes. " No," she says softly.

_God, B. don't wimp out, _Faith thinks,_ fight back!_

" Good, now…" She turns to Willow. " You don't get up, you don't say a word. Am I clear?"

" Yes, Mistress, " Willow says, cowed.

"Good girl" Faith reaches out, and tousles her hair. " Be a good girl, and I'll find ways to make you scream with happiness. Got it, pet?"

" Yes, Mistress," Willow looks up, just a bit of lust in her eye.

" Ya know, B. I was thinkin'. Just because we aren't gonna play out that lovey- dovey scenario of yours, don't mean we can't still have fun. Shit, you like fun, don't ya B?" Faith doesn't get an answer. She squeezes her arm. " Don't ya, B?"

" Yesss, " Buffy says, her voice quavering.

" Ah, what's wrong, B? Scared. Hey, you gonna love this, B." Faith drags her along, then throws her down on the couch. She hops on next to her. " So, I'm thinking. Why even turn you? I mean, right away?"

" But… but… I don't want to be like this,'" Buffy waves at herself." It was my whole idea to turn, to become a vampire!" She starts to get up, but Faith pushes her back down. " I hate being human!"

"Aw, but baby. Didn't you say you wanted to give me anything I wanted?"

" Yes," Buffy says, throat dry.

Faith grabs her hair, yanking her up. " Then give me this, bitch! Oh, I'd just love to torture you. Hear your screams, it'd be like an orgy to me, a fucking symphony of pain. You're pain, of course" She laughs , dropping her on the couch.

She turns around, and kneels in front of Buffy. " God, how I just loved to torture people. And baby? It was always my biggest wet dream to torture you. I dreamed about it every night in that hole of a hospital you abandoned me in, you bitch. Remember, when you stabbed me, nearly killed me? Remember that?" Faith swings and slaps her across the face. " I remember , B. I remember the dreams I had of you. How you came to hurt me again, and again, and AGAIN!"

Faith gets up, breathing hard. " So, baby. You love me sooo much, give me this. I so want to make you scream, you don't know. I've got so many ideas on how I could do it. …" Faith walks behind her, leaning over her from behind." Mmmm… wouldn't EVEN touch you at first. No way, baby. I think first, I'd like to bring Joycie in and do her. Yeah, now that would be sweet. How'd you like to watch me cut up dear old mom, right in front of your eyes? Hmmm… If I tried, I could probably keep her alive for weeks. Cut her slow, really painfully. Watch her die, piece by piece. Whatcha think, B?" Faith gives her wet kiss on the ear. " Did that give you a happy?"

Buffy cringes away from her in fright.

_Fight me, B. Fight the fuck back. Do it!_

"Mmmm… then, when were done with dear old mom, how 'bout daddy? No, not you're real daddy. Don't have a clue where he is. But… how 'bout dear old Daddy Giles? Hmmm? How bout that? " Faith leans in close." Bet you had a few wet dreams about fucking dear old daddy, didn't you? Bet you had a real happy when Angelus killed Jenny, cuz you were afraid she might actually make Giles happy. Maybe take him away from you, huh? Then you couldn't fool yourself anymore than he'd want you to spread those thighs for him and let him boink you, right Buff?"

" You… god, you're sick!" Buffy gasps, trying to move away. Faith grabs her hair. She pulls her back.

" Now, aint that the kettle calling the pot black, or what?" Faith kisses her forehead. " Whatcha think, Buff. Maybe I'll fuck old Rupert right in front of your eyes, give the man a few happies while you watch me do it. Then… oh… maybe cut him end to end, pour a few pounds of salt on him? Watch him scream in pain. Or maybe, I'll just break every bone in his body… one at a time, really slow like so the agony goes on and on. And make sure he knows it's because of you I'm doing it . So he can curse the day you were born!"

" YOU BITCH!" Buffy erupts off the couch, going after Faith. She jumps on her, pounding her around the head and shoulders. " You sick fuck! How can you do that? How can you think of that?" I hate you , I hate you… I HATE YOU!"

_Finally, you're awake._

Faith flips Buffy off her, and grabs her arms. She pulls her close into a bear hug. " Angry B ? Pissed B? " She kisses her, hard and deep. " Me you pissed at, lover?" Faith pushes her away. " Me that disgusts you?"

Buffy comes roaring at her. She's like a maddened bull, all she knows is the anger, the pain inflicted on her. She hits Faith like a fist, knocking her back onto her back. She starts hitting her.

" FUCK YOU , FUCK YOU, I HATE YOU!" She screams, hitting her and crying at the same time. Faith grabs her, and rolls over. She covers her with her body, and holds her down. Buffy struggles against her. Faith pushes up, and sweeps Buffy up, holding her in as she kicks and screams. She marches her over to the rack, and straps her in.

"We're not done with you yet, bitch. Uh-uh. You wanted Bad Faith, you got her. " Faith walks over and casually picks up the cat o nine tails. All the while, Buffy is struggling against her bonds, cursing her. Faith flicks the whip, then comes back over to her.

" Well, B, here we are. Last dance, and hey… as usual, it just proves I'm the better of us. You always wanted to think you were the better. Better slayer, a better person, better anything. But baby, just aint so. I'm the better slayer, I'm whole lot better person, and hey, I'm worlds sexier than you, you stuck up stick. So, happy yet, B? This what you want, B?" Faith takes the whip, cracks it, and then gently runs the tails across Buffy's stomach. " Need the pain you sick bitch? Need all this crap, you sick bitch? Is this it, baby? Is this what you really want?" She strikes the board next Buffy with the whip handle. " C'mon, B. Get mad. Get mad. Let me see you foam at the mouth." She hits the board next to her head with the handle." C'mon, don't wimp out on me, B. Fight back." She strikes Buffy in the stomach with the handle. " C'mon, you miserable little piece of shit, fight back!"

" I HATE YOU!" Buffy screams at her. " I HATE YOU!" She can't do anything else, so she spits on Faith.

Faith wipes the spittle off her face, and smiles. She walks over to Buffy, and cups her face with her hands." There's my girl!" Faith smiles at her. Its a kind, loving smile." Is it me you really hate, lover? Or is that that thing inside? That thing that's eating you up, trying to kill you. Trying to keep you under its thumb? Isn't that what you hate? " She leans in closer. " If you want me baby, fight for me. If you love me, fight. Don't wimp out on me now. Fight!" Faith leans in, and kisses her deeply.

Buffy's face changes. Her eyes are wide, soft and full of pain. Her face is etched with the sorrow and misery she feels. " Faith? Not sure I can. She… hurts me so bad… I'm so weak…"

" No, baby, you're not weak. You're strong, she's weak… fight for me. Aren't I worth it? I know it hurts, baby, but I won't let you down. I'm here, I'm here for you, but you gotta fight for me."

And then Buffy's head rears back, and her body starts to convulse in her bonds. She lets out a yell of rage, and curses, She moves left and right back and forth, as if someone… or ones, inside her are fighting for their life. She yells, she screams and she struggles.

"Faith! You've got to stop her… she's going to hurt herself," Willow cries, watching Buffy go through hell.

" No… Red, no…she needs this. It's her fight now." Faith walks back, and sits by Willow.

Buffy struggles for what seems an eternity, but it's only minutes. Finally, her body goes limp, and she hangs in the rack… her head down. Faith gets up, and goes to her.

Buffy raises her head. Her eyes are unfocused, but clear. She smiles a tiny smile. " Did I do it? " She whispers, her voice gone from screaming. " Did I do ok?"

Faith reaches out, and brushes the loose hair from her eyes.

" You did great, baby. You did great." She kisses her, then starts to loosen her bindings." Time to go home now."

At that moment, the doors burst open , and Angel, followed by Wes and Giles come into the room. Angel has a stake, Wes a cross and stake, and somehow, somewhere, Giles got a crossbow. They look around, expecting more vampires, and see three rather naked women. Two actually looking at them.

" Oh…dear, " Giles says, turning pink in the cheek and quickly turning around.

Wesley is silent. He just blushes and turns.

Angel can't blush, but it's obvious he's uncomfortable.

" I think we'll just wait out here…" he points outside.

" Oh , grow up Angel. This isn't the first time you've seen her naked. Give me a hand here."

Angel, doing his best to look anywhere but here, goes over to Faith and grabbing Buffy's legs, helps move her to the bed. They lay her down, and with Willow's help, wrap her in a blanket.

"Ahem," Faith clears her throat. " Think one of you manly men can help Angel here take Buffy to your car?"

Giles, clearly embarrassed, eyes down, comes in and helps Angel carry Buffy out. Wes follows them out.

Faith sees Willow sitting alone and looking rather small on the bed. She walks over and sits down by her.

" How're you doing, Red?" She looks at Willow's mouth , and winces.

" I'm fine, Mistress, " Willow says, smiling.

" Uhhh… that's way over, Red. Please don't call me that anymore. Just Faith, ok?"

" Sure, Faith, if that's what you want, " Willow still smiles.

" Sorry 'bout hitting you so hard. I was just trying to convince B. I was bad old me." She looks at Willow's lip, "That's gotta hurt."

" It's ok, Faith," Willow smiles softly, " I don't mind."

" Well you should, but that's the drug talking. Have to see if Giles can find something in his books to cure you."

" Don't sweat it , Faith. Won't be necessary." Willow says, smiling at her, She reaches out and hugs Faith.

" Huh?"

" The drugs? Well… I kinda figured when I woke up here, that I was going to be in danger. So I cast a no harm to me spell. Essentially, rendered the drugs…well, they made me happy, but no lasting effects." She sees Faith's expression. " I'm really not stupid , Faith. And not all that naïve. Kinda figured something was wrong… so I took precautions."

" Yeah, but… I mean…" Faith is working in major confusion." What about what happened. I read about Buffy's training methods…"

" Yes…hmmm… well, I don't know what you read, but I know Buffy wanted me unmarked for you, so no whips or chains or nothing. Heck, all I got was the drugs, and really wild sex for the last couple of days." Willow sighs. " Kinda nice, actually. Those girls knew what they were doing, even if they were vampires."

" But… but you were the perfect little slave girl. And you argued with me about become a vampire. I know that, I was there!"

" ummm… had to play along, didn't I? I knew Buffy was of the unstable persuasion. And my getting pissed at you was more about Buffy than being a vamp. But she did feed me that load… I just regurgitated it to you." Willow moves a little closer. " But you, honey? You scared the shit out of me tonight. I really though you had gone back to Bad Faith. Why you think I really got submissive fast? Think I want psycho slayer noticing me? Whew."

"Yeah, psycho slayer, " Faith sits slumped. " I wish that was all an act. Lots of that was pure rage. I didn't realize she was still so fucking close." She looks at Willow with sad eyes. " It wasn't til the end that I really had it back in control."

" Yeah… but you pulled it back, didn't you?" Willow puts a hand on her shoulder.

" Maybe, but it wasn't easy, " Faith says, quietly. " Still lots to do to fix me."

" Give it time, baby," Willow moves her hand over, stroking Faith's neck.

"I think we better get dressed before Giles comes looking for us… though, watching the three of them trying so hard not to look at us. Thought I was gonna die laughing." Faith chuckles, and Willow joins her.

Faith frowns. " You think Buffy's gonna be ok?" She asks Will. _Not feeling so sure myself._

" Don't know, Faith. She's been through a lot. But I don't think she's just going to cave anymore. I think you helped her tonight. I hope so."

They both get up to retrieve their clothing. Willow stops Faith.

" I gotta know. Why DID you wear that jacket out here?"

Faith opens the jacket, revealing the holy water, and extra stakes. " In case it didn't work? Wasn't going down without a fight."

" Cool move," Willow says.

" Maybe. But what you did? Really cool, Red. Keeping your head and protecting yourself. Pretty brave."

" Yeah, well… why do I have to be the victim all the time?" Willow shrugs.

They almost make to the other room when Willow stops them again.

" You know something, Faith?" She moves a little closer and runs her hand up Faith's lapel and around her neck. She leans in and whispers. " I really kinda liked being your pet for awhile." She kisses Faith softly on the lips, then walks into the other room.

Faith stares after her.

_Aw, crap!_

To be continued.


	12. Chapter 12

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 12

Disclaimer: This is where the legal jargon lives. Ok, Buffy, Faith, Willow and the rest of those wackies that appeared on the TV Show " BtVS" belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. Original characters? The Author's(That would be me). As well as this twisted tale, which NO ONE would want to claim. Oh, and just in case you forgot. Work of fiction. That means it's not real, and same for the characters. If they sound like you, or talk like you, or you think they're about you? Paranoia, friend. It's just a coincidence.

To Pasha, who keeps me honest. Even when it hurts.

1

" Do they know when this is going to happen?"

Buffy sits tied up in the middle of Willow's dining room, as she has for the last two days since that night at the club. It has been at her insistence that she be kept tied. When she sleeps, they've rigged up a cot with restraints. When she goes to the bathroom, someone accompanied her, waiting just outside the door. The window has been nailed shut; again, at her insistence.

No one thinks she'd bolt, or try to harm anyone. She doesn't want to take any chances. She still feels her…the _other_ her… crawling around inside, looking for a way in. She doesn't want to take any chances. She can hear the siren song in her head, calling her back. She isn't sure she can resist.

It's been two days now, and it's beginning to grate on her nerves. She wants to do this. Buffy is not famous for her patience.

" It's been two days. Is anything ever going to happen? I mean, I'm sure everyone's getting the giggles watching me tied up and all, but…" Buffy lets out an impatient sigh. " Sorry, I know everyone's working hard. I just want this over."

" Buffy, I know it's hard, but just hold on, " Faith, sitting next to her, covers her hand with hers. " They're just being careful."

Faith has been with Buffy the whole time. Except for a quick shower, and the occasional food/ bathroom break, she hasn't left her side. No one could pry her away; one of her looks usually stopped them in their tracks. She promised she'd stick by her, nothing was going to make her break her promise.

" How long can this take?" Buffy, chafing a little, looks at the door leading to Willow's study. " What are they doing in there? Writing a book?"

" I dunno. You know me and magic and books Not really a good mix," Faith says, also a little impatient. She hated seeing Buffy trussed up like a turkey while Amy and Willow argued out the fine points of the spell." I think they're just being careful. Not sure they agree on everything, either. Heard a lot of shouting in there."

"Sometimes I think it would've just been better if you staked me, when you had a chance, " Buffy's voice has a sepulchral tone.

" Buffy!" Faith cries, angry and hurt, " How can you even… damn." She gets up, feeling the anger rising in her. " Do you think this has been easy? Watching you like this? Why do you need to be tied up? God, Buffy, this is all so …" Faith throws up her hands. She can't even think of what Buffy is suggesting.

" Faith, " Buffy says quietly, " it would've been easier on everyone. All this stuff, everything I did, wouldn't have happened. I can't help thinking that everyone would be better off."

" Better off?" Faith whirls on her, " What about me, Buff? Would I be 'better off' with you dead? Do you think I did what I did for fun? Do you even know…". She shakes her head, and turns away. She can't even look at her now.

" I know what you did. Why do you think I even tried? What I saw scared me. Not just the… I was afraid what I was going to do to you. Make you like that again. I couldn't do it. I had to fight. You're act really convinced me, I had to do that."

Buffy can't see the odd expression on Faith's face, nor does she notice the way Faith's fists are balled up.

" So you think it was an act, " Faith mutters, more to herself.

" I'm sorry, Faith, " Buffy says, realizing maybe she's gone too far, " I'm just scared."

" I know, I know," Faith turns around, back in control. " I'm sorry too. This has got to be real hard on you."

" It's been hard on everybody," Buffy says softly, " I don't deserve this. I wish…"

" Stop it, Buff. Please, just stop, " Faith comes over, kneeling next to her. " You're not alone, I'm right here."

Buffy looks at her with sad eyes. " I can't help thinking that if I weren't here, you could be happier."

" B, that's stupid talk."

"Is it, Faith? Look what I've done to you, all of you. Your lives have been pure hell because of me. There's so much I want to say, to do, to show you how much you mean to me. But times almost up. I know it, I can feel it. What if this doesn't work? What if she starts being active again? What'll I do to you next time." Buffy starts to look panicked. " What if it works too well, Faith? What if I'm gone… whatever I am, What I'm feeling. Why would I want to live if I can't feel this? What do I do if I'm not me anymore? God, why now? Why did it take something like this for me to see you, Faith? Really see you? How incredible you are? Why now when there's so little time left," Buffy looks to the door," Are they coming? Is it time yet?" She turns back to Faith." Do you think it's going to hurt? Oh god, it's going to hurt. I'm going to see them, all of them, aren't I. I can almost hear them whispering, looking for me. " Buffy looks away. " Maybe you shouldn't stay, Faith. Maybe you shouldn't see this."

" Buffy, I'm going to be right here. I'm not going anywhere," Faith caresses her hair. " It's going to be ok."

"What if I can't handle it, Faith? What if I go…" Buff looks bleak. " Faith, you've got to promise me something."

"What Buffy?" Faith has a cold knot in her stomach._ Don't, don't do this._

" Faith, if I lose it. If I can't deal… you've got to promise me you won't do what Willow did. You've got to promise me you won't … you've got to leave me. I won't…I can't do this if I know you'll throw away your life on me."

" Buffy, It's not going to be like that."

" NO, you promise me. You promise you won't give up you're life. I won't let you," Buffy cries. " I won't let you do it!"

" Buffy, it's not your choice. I'll do what I need to do, " Faith is firm.

" If you don't swear you'll leave me if this goes wrong, I swear, Faith. I swear I'll remember it. I swear I will, and the first chance I get I'll kill myself. I won't let you do this to yourself. I won't!"

" Buffy…"

" No, I don't care how insane I get, I'll remember, and I'll do it, Faith. I won't let you give up your life for me. I won't let you be like Willow. I'm not going to do that to you!"

" It's not going to be that way, Buff. This is going to cure you, make you whole."

" Promise me, Faith. I'm not kidding. You promise me."

" Don't do this, Buffy. Don't make me do this!"

" I'm not kidding, Faith, " Buffy's voice is calm, but hard, " If you don't promise to leave me if I go insane, I won't promise you I'll live. Do you understand?"

The anger and resentment in Faith's eyes are clear._ Who does she think she is, telling me what to do?_ But she grits her teeth, and nods curtly.

" Fine, if that's what you want, Buffy," Faith's tone is low, even and flat, " I promise."

" You'll get on with your life? You won't get all noble and ' wait for me'? You'll … you won't close off other people being with you? You promise?"

Faith loses her temper. She stands up, and walks far away from Buffy. " God, why're you doing this? Yes, I promise, I promise. I said I did. What do you want, Buffy? My blood?" Faith shakes her head, wearily. " I didn't mean that." She walks over to Buffy." It's not going to happen, anyway. You're going to be ok."

" You know, Faith, if this doesn't go well…" Buffy goes on as if not hearing her, " there's someone close who'd understand… and who could be very good for you…"

" Buffy, stop talking this way. It's creeping me out!"

" Willow's a sweet girl, don't you think?"

" Willow? What're you talking about? I told you, I don't love Willow. She doesn't love me. Don't you get that? I love you, Buffy. Damn, don't you get that _yet_?"

" I love you too, honey, " Buffy says quietly, " but don't you know , Faith? People don't always say what's in their heart…"

At that moment, the door to the study opens. Willow comes out, followed by Amy. Neither one looks particularly happy. Giles brings up the rear. He hasn't been in there all the time, like Amy and Willow, but he's helped in translating the myriad languages of the spell. He looks tired and worn.

"I still think we should go over it again, Willow, "Amy says, grim faced. " I'm not happy with it."

" Amy, we could spend years in there, nitpicking this. This is as good as it gets. There isn't a lot of wiggle room in this spell."

" I don't know. I think it needs more refinement…"

" God, Amy, how refined can we make it? We've been over every word, I swear, until my eyes are ready to fall out. This is as good as it gets!"

"Ok, Willow. But if it goes wrong…"

" IT'S NOT GOING TO GO WRONG!" Willow, lack of sleep and worry, has lost her formidable patience. " It's going to be fine, " She says more quietly. " Now, lets get this started."

Amy, shaking her head, leaves the room to get the supplies. Willow sees Buffy and Faith, both looking a little, no, a lot scared. She walks over to them.

" Don't let her freak you, guys. She's still smarting from messing up a big spell a week ago. Trust me, I've been over this whole thing, and made the necessary adjustments. It's going to be fine." She sees they're less than mollified. " Really, guys, I went over every word of this spell. With Giles to translate it. It's as tight as I, or anyone, can make it. This is going to work."

They nod, but it's clear they're not exactly easy about this. Willow kneels by Buffy, and takes Faith's hand.

" I won't hurt her, Faith, I promise, " She says quietly. She turns to Buffy. " This will work, honey. Do you trust me?"

Buffy nods, but still looks scared.

" It's scary for you honey, I know. But we'll be here with you. We won't leave you. I promise… we promise."

Faith looks at Buffy significantly. Buffy tightens her lips.

_I wonder what's going on between them?_ Willow picks up a vibe off them.

Amy walks in with the supplies, and Willow goes to her. They move off a ways from Buffy, and set up the small altar. The Orb of Thessela is set on small table, and the sacred circle is drawn around the table. Willow hands the bell and Incense censer to Amy. She nods, and Amy begins to walk around the room, waving the censer and ringing the bell.

Willow beckons for Giles. He's carrying a very ancient text with him. He comes to her, and opening the text , begins to read from it.

Willow casts the first of the stones, and staring at the Orb, mutters a spell under her breath. Her hand waves over the Orb, and it takes on an ethereal glow.

She lights a candle, and then throws the stones again. Her eyes seem to grow heavy, and then shut.

A voice, Willow's and yet not Willow's, seems to emanate from her.

**_Ego dico super vos , phasmatis Interregnum._**

_I call upon you, spirits of the Interregnum._

**_Operor non ignarus meus voluptarius._**

_Do not ignore my pleas._

**_Reverto ut suus quis eram absens._**

_Return to her what was lost._

Willow reaches out, and touches the Orb with the palms of her hands.

**_Permissum ut quod eram captus exsisto recidivus._**

_Let that which was taken be restored._

**_Permissum ut quale è stato nociuto exsisto vigoratus._**

_Let that which has been harmed be healed._

As if in a trance, Willow lifts the Orb, and holds it high. It glows brightly in her hands.

**_Permissum Orbis exsisto vas ut mos veho suus animus preconor._**

_Let this Orb be the vessel that will carry her soul to her_

Her head is thrown back, and her eyes go dark and large.

**_Reverto ut suus quis eram laniatus , vigoratus ut quod est lacer. _**

_Return to her what was ripped, heal that which is torn._

**_Sic is vadum exsisto! Sic vadum is exsisto! iam ! IAM!_**

_So it shall be! So shall it be! Now! NOW!_

The Orb seems to flash, the light within glowing white and bright. Then it disappears.

Faith, watching Buffy as she kneels beside her, is startled when Buffy's eyes glow brightly, then fade. She blinks rapidly, and her face changes. She seems lost and bewildered.

" Faith?" Buffy looks at her strangely, as if unexpected." What're you doing here? Where am I?" She looks around, as if everything was strange to her. " I don't… remember… everything seems so hazy… I… oh, god…oh, god, … no… noooo… "

And it all comes back to her. Everything she did as a vampire. The victims, their faces, how they looked when she killed them. Their eyes seem to stare at her from everywhere.

" Noooo… Noooo… oh my god what have I done? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

She rocks in her chair, still bound. She falls over, and tries to curl into a ball. She wants, no needs to escape from the faces of her victims. Their eyes, looking at her, haunting her. Their voices, murmuring accusations. She cries out, screaming for them to go away… go away… she screams.

And screams.

And screams.

Faith starts to go to her, to comfort her. But Willow stops her.

" No, Faith, you can't help. It'll only make it worse."

Faith tries to get around her, but Willow touches her head, and whispers " No!"

Faith stops, as if her will is gone. She stands there, staring at Buffy. Inside, she's raging and boiling, wanting to go to her, comfort her. But she can't. Her muscles won't move forward.

Willow gently leads her out of the dining room.

" Will, I have to go to her!" Faith cries, as she finds she can't move back to the dining room. "What the hell have you done to me?"

" What I had to, Faith. If you go to her now, with the state she's in, she might think you're there to hurt her. She wouldn't know you're there to help. It'll only make it worse."

They hear her cries and screams, begging them to go away, go away.

" How can it get worse?" Faith starts to get angry. " You told her it wouldn't hurt her! You PROMISED HER!"

" Faith, she has to do this. She has to, there's no other way. I'm going back in, to do some healing spells. Try to reach into her mind, soothe her. Once I reach her, and I know she can see beyond her visions, then you can come in."

Buffy lets out another blood curdling scream.

" I promised her, " Faith says mournfully, " I promised her…"

Willow misunderstands. " She has to do this, Faith. She has to go through this. It's the only way to put the monster in her away," She sees Faith's face, and instinctively she pulls her into a hug. She rubs her back. " She's strong, Faith. Stronger than you know. She'll get through this, I promise." She gently lets go of Faith. " Wait here, I'll call you when it's ok."

Willow moves away from Faith, and quietly slips in the dining room, closing the door after.

As she leans against the closed dining room doors, she hears Buffy scream again… then it goes quieter. Her scream turns into an extended moan, and sobs.

Faith touches the door, her face a mask of worry and pain.

" Buffy."

2

Faith paces nervously in front of the Sunny Springs extended care facility. She's been waiting for awhile for Willow to show up. She looks at her watch again and then at the street, wondering what was keeping her.

Things had changed a lot between Faith and Willow since Buffy had gone to England to be cured. It'd been a rough time for Faith, because she wasn't all convinced that Buffy could be cured. After she , Willow and Giles had returned from there, Faith had gone in a deep funk. She didn't lie around and moon for Buffy; that wasn't her way. But she always had this edge of sadness about her, as if she needed to mourn for her, but couldn't because she was alive. Sort of, anyway.

Faith did her best to help Joyce during this time. She knew that Joyce was very upset about Buffy's 'condition', and while she tried to soldier it through, sometimes the littlest thing would just devastate her. Faith did her best to be there for her as much as she could, listening to her and reassuring her that Buffy would get better, be home very soon.

But it was hard to do, feeling the way she did. She wasn't sure Buffy would ever really be better; she knew in her heart that this would change her. She just hoped not so much as to destroy her.

It had been 8 months now since Buffy had gone away. Eight months with only letters, and an occasional phone call. Buffy wrote her about her therapy, how she felt she was making real progress. She felt soon she would be ready to leave Devon and come home. Still, Faith could read between the lines, and saw that while she seemed to be getting better, there were still disturbing things and references in her letters. It still made her question whether or not Buffy really was as far along as she claimed._ I wonder if she'll ever really be herself again, after what's she's gone through. Will she still love me?_

Faith had written back, telling her she missed her. Cheered her on with her recovery, and peppered her letters with light news about Sunnydale and the others. She always tried to keep the letters light and breezy, to keep Buffy from worrying about home.

She also talked about Willow some, saying she's been a good friend through this, getting her through some rough times. She told Buffy she understood now why Buffy liked Willow so much, and that Willow was being a good friend to both of them.

Faith started turning more and more to Willow. _Red always seemed to know when I needed her most; she was always there to listen to me go on and on, or just hold my hand when I didn't feel like talking at all. She had her own grief with Buffy, yet she always made mine more important._ Faith began to realize how special a person Willow was. Faith wasn't the kind to lean; sharing to her was anathema. But somehow Willow made it ok. She didn't make it seem like leaning. Somehow.

So, being here now for Willow wasn't a chore. She looked forward to giving back something. It gave her a happy to know that she made it easier for Willow to deal with Tara. In some small way, it made her feel she was helping Buffy, too.

She sits down on the steps, head in hands. _Are you really being honest here, Faith? Is this just for Willow, that you're coming to the home, or is it because it's just another excuse to spend some time with her?_ Faith can't really answer that.

She knows that lately, more and more, she's been finding little excuses to hang with Willow. Faith had never been one to be particularly domestic, yet she showed up at Willow's every Saturday to mow her lawn or rake the leaves or do something in the yard. She's gotten in the habit of stopping by her house a couple of times a week, just to see ' if she needed anything.' Willow had finally told her it was ok just to drop by, no need to ' check' on her. She also kept ' accidentally' running into Willow at the Bronze. Of course, to be polite she had to stop for a drink, right? She couldn't help but see the amusement in Willow's eyes; fortunately the dark club hid her blushes.

_So, what's really going on here, Faith? Do you still love Buffy? Yes, I do. But… damn, I really like being with Willow. I don't know… it's not love. I know that. I won't let it be, and she won't either. But I know it hurts less when I'm with her. God, everything is just so…_

" Oh, Faith! I'm so sorry to be so late!" Willow calls out as she rushed up the walk to Sunny Springs. " I don't know why but it always seems a thousand things happen at the last minute when I'm coming here, then the traffic was just plain awful." Faith stands up as Willow approaches, ands she stops to give Faith a hug. " Thanks for waiting. Have you been here long?"

" Naw, " Faith waves a hand as they walk into the lobby, " just a few." Even though it had been actually 45 minutes, and Faith wasn't known for being patient. It was important to Willow she was here, so she'd wait. However long it took.

They walk down the familiar hallway, chatting about their respective days. Faith sometimes found it hard to believe how comfortable she is around Willow now; considering how things had been when she came here, this is amazing to her. What particularly pleases her is that Willow treats it as the most natural thing in the world. As if there has never been a time they haven't been close friends. Close friend. That was something Faith never figured she'd call anyone.

Willow stops them at the door, and she squeeze Faith's arm.

" I know I've probably said this a hundred times before, but I really appreciate you coming with. It makes it easier , somehow , to deal with you along. And Tara seems to like you a lot."

" I don't think Tara even knows I'm there, Red," Faith half grins.

" She does. I think she does, " Willow gets a tired look, " maybe not. But I do. It helps, not feeling so alone in there. It helps."

Willow walks into the room, followed by Faith. Tara is sitting on the bed, seemingly staring into space. Willow sighs. _Bad day, it's going to be a bad day._ Willow can tell how Tara's going to be reacting, just by the way she's sitting, and how she reacts to her coming in. Today seems to be one that'll either have utter silence, or Tara will react very negatively.

Willow does her best to put this way down in her stomach, as she moves over to Tara, greeting her cheerily.

" Hi, baby, how're you today?" Willow pulls out a hairbrush, and walks over to Tara. " I really wish they'd use that crème rinse I gave them for you." She starts to brush out her long blonde hair." Well, had a great today, honey. Got my finals back. Did really well. Only two more to go, and then I'm done. Isn't that great?"

Faith moves a little closer, to see better but not so close as to get in the way._ How does she do it, day after day? Trying to reach her like this. I don't know if I could do that. Maybe that's what love is? Really trying, even when there's no real hope?_

" … and my supervisor at work? Once I get my degree, she promised to see about moving me into a day shift. That'll be nice, won't it honey?"

" I thought you were going for your Master's, Will. I thought you wanted to teach high school."

" Going to have to take a year or two off, Faith. Getting my master's isn't going to be cheap, and I don't have the money. I need to work full time so I can save everything I can to … Tara, stop that!"

Tara is hitting at Willow, angrily. Her face is red, and her eyes narrowed.

" No, no, don't want that! " She says, pushing Willow away, " Don't do that!" She slaps Willow's arm. " I have to tell them about the mice! The mice are getting out of control. Dirty, filthy mice. Didn't I tell you ? Didn't I?"

Tara starts to get up. Willow, afraid she might hurt herself, tries to keep her calm and sitting down. Tara slaps her across the face.

" Don't try to stop me, Bitch!" She says angrily.

Willow, eyes wide, backs away. Tara slapped her hard.

Faith goes over to Tara, to restrain her.

" Tara, honey, it's ok. We'll tell about the …"

Tara looks at Faith, and a large smile breaks out on her face. She reaches out for her.

" KITTY!" She coos, reaching out for Faith." Where've you been, kitty?"

Faith looks at Willow, bewildered.

Willow, still holding the side of her face, grins ruefully. " I think she thinks you're our old cat. Miss Kitty Fantastico."

" Huh?" Faith feels bewildered.

" Miss kitty was our cat when we…" Willow frowns," When we lived together. Actually, she was Tara's , but she let me … anyway, she was quite fond of Miss Kitty…"

" Kitty? Where you been?" Tara looks at Faith.

" I don't get it, Red. You don't have a cat…and they live quite a while…?" Faith is still confused.

" There was this accident," Willow makes a face," it involved Dawn and a crossbow… we don't talk about it."

While they were talking, Tara has moved closer to Faith. Faith suddenly feels someone petting her hair.

" Kitty! I love kitty!" Tara beams, turning to Willow." It's Kitty!" She runs her hand through Faith's hair. Willow sighs, and goes towards Tara.

" Honey, that's Faith. You remember." She reaches out to grab Tara's hand.

Tara makes an angry noise, and shoves her away.

" NO! I want to pet KITTY!" Tara insists, petting Faith.

" Now, Tara…" Willow comes back.

Faith puts up a hand.

" It's ok… let her do it. It seems to be calming her." Faith turns her head a little, so Tara can get more of her hair, and less of her ear.

Tara, enchanted, scoots over closer to Faith, and starts petting her with both hands.

" Kitty's soft." She smiles at Willow. " Kitty's here! She'll get the mice, you'll see."

Faith stands there, taking it. She stage whispers to Willow.

" I don't have to purr, do I?"

" Oh god, Faith, I'm so sorry, " Willow says, knowing this isn't particularly pleasant for Faith.

" It's no big, Red. Don't sweat it… ow…OW!" Faith grimaces.

" What's wrong?" Willow comes over.

" I think she's caught her hand in my hair… OW! OW! OW!"

Tara, her hand tangled in Faith's hair, is trying to pull it free. Willow comes over to help.

" Here, baby, let me help you, " Willow says quietly, trying to free Tara's hand. As she reaches for Tara's hand, Tara bites her.

" OW! Tara! Baby, " Willow retracts her hand. She holds it, looking warily at Tara.

" You're bad! You want to take Kitty away, just like last time!" Angrily, she backhands Willow across the mouth.

" TARA!" Willow moves back. Far back.

" No, Tara, no! It's ok, See? Kitty's still here," Faith says. She twists around, grimacing a little as her hair is pulled. She gently extracts Tara's hand from her tangled hair. " Kitty's here." She puts Tara's hand on some untangled hair, while trying to straighten out the mess Tara's made of her locks.

"She's bad. She took Kitty away before, and wouldn't bring her back, " Tara turns to Will. " I don't like you!"

If Tara had punched her in the stomach, Willow couldn't look more hurt. She stands at the opposite wall, eyes wide.

" Ok, Tara, Kitty needs a nap. So does Tara, " Faith gently but firmly grabs Tara's hand and holds them. She eases her down in the bed.

" Ok," Tara says complacently. " I like Kitty." She smiles up at Faith. She lies back, and quietly seems to go somewhere else.

Faith tucks her in, then quietly backs away, grabbing Willow's bag . She turns and seeing Willow standing there, half in shock, takes her by the arm and leads her out of the room, extinguishing the lights as they go.

" Red, I'm…"

Willow shakes her off, and walks down the hall a little ways. She leans against a wall, and her whole body seems to go into a slump.

Faith, concerned, walks towards her. Willow begins to speak even before she arrives, almost as if to herself.

"… hit me. She's never hit me before. Not like that," Willow sounds bereft, " I don't get it. I just don't…"

Faith comes around her, and sees her lip is bleeding. She searches for a handkerchief or something. Realizing she doesn't have anything, she licks her finger and wipes off the blood.

Suddenly Willow is clinging to her, arms around her neck. Faith brings her arms around to hold her as the young woman begins to sob.

" I don't know what to do, Faith, " Willow cries quietly, " I just don't know what to do. I've tried everything I know to reach her. And… and … she's still gone. I'm just hitting the wall, crashing into it. What do I do?"

3

" Are you absolutely certain about this?"

Buffy Summers is standing in Heathrow International Airport in London, looking out over the field. She is accompanied by a taller, older woman who, just scraping under 6 feet tall, makes Buffy look almost childlike next to her. Pamela Woodbury has been a counselor at the Devon Center for a number of years, and the care and concern she has for her charges shows on her face. She isn't what one would call pretty; handsome and dignified fits her better. She has an air of authority about her.

It's been 8 months since she underwent the ritual. Eight long, hard months that she's spent clawing her way to some semblance of sanity. She's now getting ready to return home, and it's obvious to Pamela that she's nervous.

" I guess I better be, don't you think? " Buffy shrugs, seemingly a little distracted." I'm about to get on a plane in…" She looks at her watch."… 10 minutes or so , I'm packed, the tickets are non-refundable. I'd be kind of a moron to back out now."

" Buffy, none of that is important. It's much more important that you feel ready. I'm not sure I'm happy with you leaving so early…"

" Look, Ms. Woodbury…"

" Pamela, Buffy. We agreed." She smiles.

" Pamela, I really appreciate what you and the rest have done for me. Really. You've got me to stop talking to the ferns, and everything. But, ummm… I really need to go home I think. I need to face those demons, and waiting? Not going to make it easier. I think I need… no, I know I need to do this now."

" Buffy, it's not a matter of rushing you through. You're welcome to stay as long as you need."

" Yes, but I think you'd get tired of me after the first decade or so…"

Pamela smiled. It was always good sign when a patient had a sense of humor.

"Very well, Buffy. It's your choice. I just wanted you to know we're proud of the progress you've made."

" Thanks, Ms… Pamela. That means a lot." Buffy blushes slightly.

" And you know, if you need us, any time, we're here for you."

**_British Airways flight 1712 to Cleveland connecting to Los Angeles is now preparing to board. Passengers for this flight are requested to report to gate 17 to receive final boarding instructions. Thank you for flying British Airways._**

"I suppose this is goodbye, then, Buffy" She offers her hand to Buffy. " Good luck, then."

" I guess it is, " Buffy takes the proffered hand. Impulsively, she hugs Ms. Woodbury, who seems a bit discomfited by her display. She smiles and pats Buffy's shoulder.

" You're going to do fine, Buffy." She says, gently extracting herself. " Goodbye, Buffy."

" Bye, Ms. Woodbury."

Pamela watches as Buffy disappears into the crowd as she heads for her gate. She has an uneasy feeling. _She's made remarkable progress in the last few months. Perhaps too remarkable?_ She shakes her head and sighs._ Enough, Pamela, you've been doing this too long. You're getting as paranoid as some of the patients. Still…_

She dismisses the thought, and turns, walking towards the concourse.

Buffy approached the British Airways representative located close to the boarding gate. She had a worried expression on her face.

" Hi, I was wondering something? I have a connecting flight to Los Angeles, but I just received news that a cousin of mine in Ohio has taken ill. I was wondering, would it be possible for my luggage to be removed from the plane there? Rather than being sent along to Los Angeles?"

" You understand that you'll lose the ticket to Los Angeles, don't you? You'll have to purchase another ticket to continue."

" I know, it's not a problem."

" Very well, then, " the attendant puts out her hand, " If I could see your tickets then?" She examines them, makes some notes, and looks up. " There's a two hour layover. This shouldn't pose a problem, Ms. Summers. I'll phone ahead to Cleveland and inform them of the change."

" Thanks, you've been great." Buffy smiles at her.

" You're welcome, Ms. Summers. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

" No, thanks."

" Have a pleasant flight then. Thank you for choosing British Airways."

Buffy strides toward the boarding ramp, a faint smile on her face. She has the look of someone who's finally come to a decision after a long time. She was sure this was the right thing to do.

_It's the only thing I can do, _She thinks as she walks towards the boarding ramp.

4

An hour later the two of them are sitting at Willow's kitchen table. There is a six pack of frosty longnecks sitting between them, a couple already consumed, and both are sipping out of a bottle. Willow looks a little embarrassed.

" I'm sorry, we probably just should've gone to the Bronze. But I just didn't want to deal with that tonight…"

" That's cool, Red. Don't sweat the small stuff, " Faith leans in a little. She places her hand on Willow's free hand. " You ok? Feeling a little better?"

" Yes. No. I don't know," Willow sounds lost. " Tara… my Tara… would never do this," She touches her lip. " I've never seen her like that before…" she closes her eyes tightly, the memory hurting her still, " Who am I kidding? That's not my Tara. I don't know who that is…"

Faith doesn't say anything, only squeezes Willow's hand. The memory of Buffy looking straight through her, not seeing her, comes back to her. She shivers.

" When this first happened, I tried everything I could think of to reach her. Talking to her, reading to her. I tried spells, all kinds of spells. Nothing worked. I even went inside her, trying to find her, lead her back out…" Willow pales at the memory," … I never have to see hell now. I think it's in her mind." Willow sips her beer," I've been there for three years, hoping that something would happen. Something would bring her back out to me. The doctors warned me that any recovery was slim, and full recovery? Next to impossible. But I didn't want to believe that. I couldn't believe that. It meant she was gone, and I couldn't accept that." She looks up at Faith, her eyes overly bright, " We were supposed to be forever, Faith. She was the one for me, my one and only, my everything…" the tears start to spill down her cheeks," I know she's gone, she's been gone for more than 3 years. I just didn't… couldn't deal with it. I wanted to take care of her, Faith. Forever if I had to. But after today… I just don't know if I can do it anymore. Kid myself anymore." Willow lays her head on the table. Drained.

" Willow, if I say something, promise you won't get mad?"

" What?" Willow says, sounding hopeless.

"I know this might sound cold, but it's been way over three years now. Maybe it's time to let go, Red. Do you think Tara, if she knew, would want this? You feeling like this?"

Instead of anger, which she expected, Faith hears Willow chuckle. She looks up at Faith, a tight little grin on her face.

" That's kind of funny. Buffy said the same thing to me."

_Not sure the funny here,_ Faith thinks.

" Twice actually. Once in the garden at Giles', the other time in the club… when she kidnapped me." She smiles at Faith, "she said almost the exact same thing."

_Alright, funny isn't the word I'd use here, exactly._

"I hate to say it, Red, but maybe Buffy was right. Maybe it's time to consider life after Tara." Faith grimaces, " ok, that sounded awful, but what I meant was, I don't think she'd want you doing this. Not if she loved you like you said she did. She'd hate seeing you this way." _I know I do._

" Let me show you something, Faith, " Willow says. She gets up and goes into the other room. She's back in a few minutes, carrying a manila envelope. She hands it to Faith. "take a look."

Faith opens the envelope, and pulls out some papers. She glances over them briefly. She looks up at Willow.

"I'm not good with the Lawyer Speak, Red. What's this supposed to mean?"

" it's a legal petition to make Tara a ward of the court. Essentially that would make her care the responsibility of the state. Attached to it is the form, signed by her father, making me her legal guardian." Willow shakes her head in wonder." Can you believe that man actually thought she deserved what happened to her."

Faith is taken aback. " Her father thought she deserved scrambled brains?" She sees Willow wince." Sorry."

Willow briefly explains her short encounter with the Maclays, and what they told the females of the family. Faith looks at her with some bemusement.

" Geeze, isn't he Father of the year material?" Faith says sarcastically. " I didn't think those type of people existed outside of the Twilight Zone or the X-Files or something."

" Yeah, they're a real swell bunch, " Willow nods, " I had that document drawn up a while ago. I guess in one of those rare moments of clarity when I realized that there wasn't any hope here," she reaches over, and takes the document in her hands, looking at it. " I just have to sign it and submit it. Then it's just a formality, and she becomes a ward of the court." She stares at it. " I just… I haven't been able to do it. Its like I'm giving up on her. Saying I'm done, I'm walking away now. How could I do that, thinking she might come back?" She looks into Faith's eyes. "How could I abandon her?"

She grabs the folder, and slips the papers inside it.

" Red…" Faith begins.

" No, Faith, there's nothing to say. I know I have to do it, now. I have to do it, because she's really gone now. I see it," She walks out of the room, and returns empty handed." I just can't do it now." She sits down. She takes a long swig off her beer.

There's a silence between them. Faith reaches out, and squeezes her hand. Willow smiles at her.

" I guess I have to say thanks, again." Her eyes grow warm and soft. " Seems like when things get too bad, you're there to listen. I can't tell you what that means."

" It's not like you have listened to me go off or just been there, Red. I know I've popped off plenty to you."

" Have you heard anything about Buffy?"

Faith hesitates for the briefest second. " Not really. They say she'll be ready to come home soon. Maybe by the end of the year."

" Well, that's good news, right?" Willow smiles.

" Yeah."

" Isn't it?" She looks at Faith carefully. " Something up?"

" No… not really," Faith seems troubled." But… what if she's changed? No, that's stupid. Of course she's changed. What she's been through, what she's going through, how couldn't she be changed? I guess I mean, what if she's changed how she feels about me?" She looks down. " What is she doesn't feel the same way anymore?"

"I can't really answer that. I mean, not like for certain. But I don't think she would stop loving you, Faith. I think that's the one thing that made her pull back from the edge. I think she's going through this, because she loves you. I think that's what she's clinging to , trying to get through." Willow squeezes her hand. " Is that really what this is about, Faith?"

" Of course that's it, Red. I just don't know how she'll feel about me anymore."

" Or, how you'll feel about her?"

Faith pulls her hand away. " That's a crock, Red, " Faith sounds angry. She starts to stand. " That's just… I love her… I…" she seems to lose her energy, slumping back in her chair." This sucks. How can I even…?"

Willow stands and comes around her, putting her arms around her. She leans her head on her shoulder. " Listen to me, Faith. I don't have a clue how I'm gonna feel either. She's going to be different. That's just a fact. The only thing I can hope is that what we had will be strong enough to get us through. I know I want to still love her, be her friend. I just hope that's enough."

" Gawd, what kinda person am I? Even thinking this way? I love her Red, how can I think … why do I even have doubts?"

" Because you're human, honey, and you're scared. You don't know what Buffy's going to be like when she gets back, if she'll even be remotely the same woman you fell for." Willow hugs her. " I don't have any answers, Faith. You'd think I would, wouldn't you? I guess all you can do is just see if you see anything of that woman is still there, and reach out to her. Try, risk it. Then if it comes down that your feelings have changed? Then you've just gotta be honest with her, and yourself. Let go, and let her go," Willow chuckles ruefully," You'd think I could take my own advice, wouldn't you?"

" Buffy's right. You are really smart," Faith turns back towards her and smiles.

" Well, you know Buffy, cute, not too bright. Maybe a little insane," Willow tries to downplay the compliment. She sees Faith make a face. " Just kidding."

" Me, too." Faith smiles.

It grows quiet between them. Willow doesn't move, and Faith is very aware of her arms around her, and her breath lightly tickling her ear. She feels a familiar warmth growing in her tummy.

" Hey," Faith says softly, still looking at Willow.

" Hey," Willow whispers back. She adjusts just a little, and brings her lips into light and brief contact with Faith's. When the kiss breaks, she licks her lips.

" You know, every time I kiss you, I can't believe how sweet your lips taste, " Willow says. She smiles. Then she kisses Faith again, lingering awhile longer. " Mmmm, yummy," Willow says when the kiss breaks.

" You are something, " Faith says, smiling, " you know?"

" Oh, are you just noticing that?" Willow smiles back. Her hand slips down Faith's front, and she squeezes Faith's breast.

" You know," Willow continues, looking at Faith's lap, " that lap looks mighty empty, mister. Think there might be room for me on it?"

Faith just smiles, and slides her chair back a bit. Willow slides around her, sitting on her lap.

" Oh yes, " She says, bouncing just a little. " Much nicer. So comfy too."

" Nice to know my thighs make a nice seat cushion," Faith smirks.

" Oh, trust me honey, there are plenty of reasons I love those thighs of yours, " Willow giggles. She leans in for and gets a nice hot kiss.

" Mmmm," Willow purrs, when the kiss ends. " I just love the way you kiss. Did I mention you're at least a 10 on the kissing scale?" She arches a brow. She looks down at Faith, who looks up at her. _God, the girl is just sooo darned cute,_ she thinks. She musses Faith's hair, then pulls her head to her breast.

" Kind of wondering, honey, if you were in a great big hurry to get home tonight?" She slips her hand down and gently squeezes Faith's breast.

_God, if you looked up ' Sexy' in the dictionary, I know Red's picture's gotta be next to it. _Faith feels a massive surge of tingles running through her body. She feels her warmth growing in her tummy. And then, for some perverse reason, today comes crashing back into her brain, dousing the fire in her tummy with ice water. Sighing, she pulls back from Red's breast.

" Red, don't take this the wrong way. But do you really think we should be doing this tonight?"

Willow looked at her quizzically, a tiny smile bowing her lips.

" What's wrong, baby? A little performance anxiety?" Willow rubs Faith's neck.

Faith looks at her oddly, then bursts out laughing.

"You goof." She shakes her head, " no, baby" She sobers up somewhat. " You know I adore being with you. But I think tonight, It's just not a good idea."

Willow is all seriousness now. " Is something wrong, hon? Did I do something wrong?" Willow thinks a moment, then nods. " It's Buffy, isn't it? You're missing her, and feel uncomfortable about … well, you know." She smiles.

" No… I mean, yes, I miss her, but no, that's not it, " Faith says quietly. " It's you, Red."

Willow frowns. " Me? That's not good."

Faith realizes Willow took that way the wrong way. " No, no … believe me, you consistently amaze me in the evil creativity of that mind of yours. This idea that you're this sweet innocent little girl? Started by someone who never slept with you."

" Thank you, " Willow says, blushing modestly, " unless of course you're inferring I'm a slut?"

"Red, can we be serious. For just a moment?"

" Oh, serious," Willow bites her bottom lip. " ok, serious then."

"Look, Red, I hate to poop the party here, but I think you're trying to use sex tonight to avoid something, rather than a way to comfort after dealing with it." _How can she make even serious adorable? That lip biting thing? So damned cute!_

"Ok, Faith, really not following you're logic, " Willow looks at Faith, then sighs. " Oh, I guess I am. Busted, huh? "

" Do you really want to have sex tonight, Red? Or are you just hoping that you'll lose yourself in it, once it starts? And maybe forget about today for awhile?"

" And that would be terrible… why?"

" Because it won't work. And then you'll be upset and angry and frustrated, and try harder, and it still won't work. Then you'll just be miserable in the morning, and even more upset about things then you are now."

" You really are pooping the party, Faith, " Willow stands up, sounding irritated." You can go if you want."

" I don't want to go, Red, " Faith stands up, putting her hands on Willow's shoulders. She turns Willow to face her. " Just because I don't think sex is a good idea tonight, it doesn't mean I want to leave. You need a different kind of comfort tonight, and I want to give you that. So, " Faith shrugs, " I thought we could cuddle?"

Willow looks at her a moment, as if not understanding what she's saying. Then she really understands, and this small soft smile comes onto her face.

" You'd do that? For me?" Willow sounds incredulous. " I mean, I know you're not the touchy feely kind."

" Well, don't go spreading it around, Red, " Faith growls, just a little. " but I think this is a special circumstance."

Willow comes over, and puts her arms around Faith's neck. She stares deeply into her eyes.

" You know? I think I kinda love you, " She says softly. They share a warm kiss. Then Willow starts walking towards the bedroom, beckoning Faith to follow.

_Yeah, I get that, I think, _Faith thinks to herself as she follows Willow.

_I really do._

When Faith reaches the bedroom, she sees Willow standing, facing the door, waiting for her.

Almost as if cued, both women start to undress. They've found that each enjoys watching the other one undress. Never mind the sexy factor of it, that's important too. But it's the way that each reveals themselves to the other, as if they've nothing to hide from each other.

Willow smiles, and as her blouse comes off, turns around. She knows Faith loves watching her remove her skirt from the rear. That Faith is rather enamored with watching the curve of her ass appear as it molds into her back. And Willow loves the way she can feel Faith's eyes raking over her. As if each time is new. It gives Willow a major happy. And the plus? She can still watch Faith undress, because she's strategically placed her full length mirror so she can see the rest of the room in it.

After their clothing has piled on the floor, both women take a moment just to look at each other.

Willow just loves looking at Faith. _She acts all butch when the clothes are on, but she is 100 girl. _Willow loves to watch Faith walk, especially naked. She leads with her pelvis, which gives a cat like quality to her movements. Add to the fact that she has incredibly curvy curves, and also the way her breasts slightly bob when she walks, and Willow gets a major tingle watching her.

Faith for her part loves the boyish slimness to Willow's figure. Well, boyish until you hit the hips. Since she's matured, Willow's hips have taken on an appealing roundness, and her thighs and caves have filled out, giving her this incredibly sexy look. Her breasts are smallish, but she has these incredible pink lick me- suck me- bite me nipples that point up. Buffy's are very similar, and Faith thinks it's the sexiest thing going.

" Are we going to stand here staring at each other all night? " Willow smiles, loving the way Faith is looking at her.

" I could do that, " Faith says, without hesitation. She walks over, and slips into bed. " But it'd be nice to hold you, too." She opens her arms , inviting Willow in.

Willow slips into bed, and slides herself up next to Faith. Faith wraps her arms around her, resting her hands on Willow's tummy. Willow leans into her, sighing softly.

" I think you were right, Faith. I think this is exactly what I needed tonight," Willow says, turning her face. She kisses Faith softly on the lips. " This is incredibly sweet." She grins, " and don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Don't want to ruin your rep as a bad ass". Willow giggles, " though I think you have one incredible ass. Not a thing bad about it."

Faith gently pats Willow's tummy. " You are an incredibly bad girl, you know that?" She nuzzles Willow neck.

They settle into a comfortable silence, just enjoying the shared intimacy. Faith, however, can hear Willow's sighs, and senses a sadness in her.

" Are you ok, Red?" She asks, pulling Willow closer.

Willow's face is forlorn. " Am I bad?"

" What?" Faith asks, not really understanding.

" Am I terrible? For wanting my life back?" Willow looks at Faith. " I mean, I still love her, Faith. I miss her so much sometimes, I can't sleep, It aches so much. But when I go to see her, nothing's there. I think she recognizes me, sort of, as someone who comes around all the time. But she doesn't know it's me, I mean, me, do you get it?"

" I get it, Red, " Faith says, remembering Buffy staring right through her as if she didn't exist.

" I can't take it anymore, Faith. I can't take her looking at me like a stranger. Like I'm one of the nurses, " her voice gets angry, " it's not right, it's not fair! How could they do this to me? To us? We loved each other so much, Faith. And the Power that Be? Just took us away from each other. How can they do that?" She looks at Faith, her face flushed. " How could anything be so damned cruel?"

Faith rubs her arms and shoulder, silently, letting her vent.

" I am terrible, Faith. I'm awful. I'm thinking of just abandoning her there, leaving her behind. I promised her forever, but now I want to just run away. I'm bad, I'm very bad, Faith. I'm horrible!" Willow starts to cry, and turns to Faith. " I'm horrible, aren't I? I'm evil!"

" Shhh, no, Red, no. That's not even anywhere near close to true, " Faith says. She starts to rock Willow in her arms, " Honey, we talked about this. Wherever Tara is, it's not here. That's only her body in the home. Her mind, her spirit, all those things you loved so much about her? Is somewhere else. I'm personally hoping, in a happy place. Waiting for you to someday join her."

Willow continues to cry, her feelings of guilt and remorse overwhelming her. Faith continues to rock her, letting her know with her arms and body that she's not alone. Not so terribly alone.

It takes awhile, but Willow finally begins to settle down. She gets herself under control, and the shaking and sobbing cease.

Faith reaches over, and grabs the box of tissue off the nightstand. She gently daubs Willow's eyes, and then hands her the box. Willow blows her nose, and then tosses the tissue towards the closest trash can. She misses.

" Damn, I missed, " She starts to get up.

Faith holds her, however, and won't let her go. " Leave it , Red. It'll be there in the morning."

" But I should…" Willow starts. But feeling the warmth of Faith's arms and body next to her, she really doesn't want to leave. "… Ok" She settles back into Faith.

" Feeling a little better?" Faith asks. She leans her chin on Willow's shoulder

" God, I'm such a weepy baby. I'm sorry, Faith, " Willow says, feeling a whole lot better.

" Sometimes, Red, you just gotta cry."

Willow looks over at the brunette. "You know something? You're incredible. You keep showing me that, and I keep being surprised how incredible you are. Buffy is one lucky woman, " Willow sighs. " Sometimes, I envy her. Having you, " She almost whispers that. " I hope she realizes exactly how lucky she is."

Faith sighs impatiently, as if that's the dumbest thing she's ever heard.

" It's not dumb, Faith. It's not stupid. You are one incredible woman."

" Well, " Faith says, " this incredible woman is kinda tired, and would like to sleep now."

Willow smiles. She reaches and shuts off the lamp.

The two of them slide down in the bed, their bodies molding together in a tight spoon.

" G'night, Faith, " Willow says softly

" uh-huh," Faith murmurs, already falling asleep.

Willow feels her eyes close. She feels warm, and safe.

And a little scared about what she's beginning to feel.

5

Buffy stares out the window by her seat, the cabin lights half reflecting her image on the glass.

_Who are you?_ She asks silently, touching the glass with her hand.

The image in the glass stares back at her, silent.

Buffy leans back in her seat, resting her head and closing her eyes.

She feels very weary. It's been a long journey coming back to something that resembles normalcy. Or at least, she feels she can deal with things now without resorting to talking to the plants anymore. What's been harder is deciding what she's going to do now.

She opens her carryon, and pulls out a bunch of letters from Faith and Willow. The pages are worn and creased from the hundreds of times she read and re-read the letters. She smiles, a little sadly, and looks over them again. As she reads them, her vision blurs from the tears in her eyes. She knows these will be the only things she'll have from her old life. The old life she plans on leaving behind.

It took her awhile…_ Hey, I was crazy, you know!…_ but she finally figured out what was being said between the lines. Of course, nothing was written about it, but she definitely could see that Faith and Willow had moved beyond friendship. They obviously had developed feelings for each other. Strong feelings.

At first, Buffy had a visit from the green-eyed monster. It hurt to think that Faith was with someone else, even if that someone else was Willow. When it first hit her what was going on, she had a fit. That earned her a little time in the 'quiet' room. The one with padded walls and restraints.

She realized, however, after some careful thought, and a couple of visits to the 'quiet' room, that this was the right thing to happen. She'd told Faith to move on with her life, and she was. It still ached, even now, to think that she'd lost Faith. But it helped to think Faith could, would be happy._ It's a way to make it right, Buff. For all the crap you did, this is a way to make it right. For both of them._

She knew Faith would , if she returned to Sunnydale, insist on getting back together. She knew Faith was that way. She also knew she couldn't let it happen. She realized something while she was in Devon. She really loved Faith. Loved her enough to let her go. She wanted Faith to be happy, even if it broke her own heart._ Real noble Buffy, but lets try a little truth here too. You know it'd kill you if Faith stopped loving you, started hating you because you forced her to be with you. Better she still thinks of you fondly, rather than hating you._ Buffy knew she couldn't take that. So, she couldn't go back to Sunnydale. Ever. It would hurt too much to see them together, even if it was the right thing.

She had to make a new go of it. Make a new life for herself. That means a clean break. She has to cut her ties with the past. That meant all ties. Even her mom. If anyone knew where she was, they would tell the others. Then it'd all fall apart, and be right back to square one. No, it had to be clean, quick and final. Better for everyone that way. She had to disappear. As if she never existed in the first place.

She can't even read the pages anymore, her eyes are too blurry. She carefully puts the letters away, and takes out a handkerchief to dry the tears running down her cheeks. _Stop crying, Buffy. This was your choice. So be an adult, and get over it._

She looks out the window, and sees a large cluster of lights ahead. _That must be it. Cleveland. My new life. So, why aren't I excited? Oh yeah, because… ah, damn…_ She grabs the handkerchief again to stem the new flow of tears.

**_You're attention, Ladies and gentlemen. We'll be landing at Hopkins International Airport in 20 minutes. The captain requests that all passengers please return to their seats, and to apply their seat belts. Please put any fold down trays back in their places, and bring your seats to an upright position. We hope you've had a pleasant journey, and thank you for flying British Airways._**

****

Buffy belts herself in, and leans her head back on the seat, closing her eyes. She practices the exercise they taught her in the Devon house, to clear her mind, find her center, and prepare for another day. Slowly, all the garbage floating in her head drifted away, and she felt a small measure of peace. _This is it, Buffy. You're new life. A chance to start over. Make it count._

She must've dozed off, because she jolts awake when the jet touches down on the Hopkins International runway. As the plane taxies towards the terminal, she feels a small panic fluttering in her breast. Time all of a sudden seems to be too short, too compressed. _I'm not ready. I need more time!_ Time is up, break over. Time to get back to work.

She disembarks from the plane, and looks around the terminal. It all seems so unreal, somehow. So strange. This is the last time she'll be part of what she was. Once she goes, once she leaves the terminal, everything that she was is gone. History. No looking back, no regrets.

She traverses the concourse and arrives at the luggage carousel. She watches it go around and around, holding back, not retrieving her luggage. _This is it, Buff. No more delays_. _Just do it!_ She reaches out, and stops her bag, grabbing it off the carousel.

She heads for the nearest restroom. Once inside the stall, she sets her case on the toilet and opens it. She pulls out a large laundry bag she filched from Devon, and starts to put her belongings in it. Where she's going, carrying a suitcase just says, "Please rob me".

She takes off the skirt, blouse and heels she's been wearing, and changes into a pair of jeans, socks, boots, and long sleeved blouse. She throws on her heavy coat. Stuffing her old clothes in the laundry bag, she leaves the stall, and the suitcase, behind.

Stopping at the sink, she washes her hands and face. She pulls a stocking cap out of her pocket, and puts it on. She looks in the mirror, staring at the new person staring back at her.

_Who are you?_

_I'm Anne. Goodbye, Buffy_.

She walks out of the restroom, carrying the laundry bag over her shoulder. She looks around. It all looks new and strange to her. Nothing seems the same.

It isn't, it's all different now. She's different now.

She walks out of the terminal, into the night.

6

The sun caresses the sleeping Willow with a warm hand.

Willow stirs in the bed, and rolls over, pulling the sheet over her head.

" Go 'way, Mr. Sun. I'm not ready to wake up yet," She murmurs, trying to dig her way deeper into the bed. She smiles to herself, a mischievous thought taking over her mind. She slowly turns over, thinking she'll awaken Faith in a particularly special and sexy way. Which would be great, but there's no Faith there to waken.

" Huh?" Willow says, throwing the sheet off herself. She sees the depression where Faith slept, so she knows she was really here last night. But when she touches the spot, she feels it's cold.

" Damn, she must've…" then the scent of something wonderful hits her nose. _Bacon!_

Willow is a closet bacon addict. She knows it's bad for her, and limits herself on how much she'll eat. But the smell of it just makes her feel good.

Growing up in a semi-orthodox household( Ira is, Sheila is reform), she never tasted bacon as a child. Not until, that is, she spent the night over at Xander's house. ( No dirty looks, it was strictly innocent). For some reason. Xander's mother was in a domestic mood that day, and made bacon and eggs for breakfast.

"Mom, " young Xander complained, looking at Willow's plate, " Willow's Jewish. She can't eat bacon!"

" Oh, I forgot, " Mrs. Harris came over to retrieve Willow's plate, " Can I get you something else honey?"

" No, this is fine, Mrs. Harris. I'd kinda actually like to try it," young Willow was fascinated by the long strips of meat that supposedly was bad for you, but smelled very good.

'" Won't you like, go to hell or something if you eat that, Will?" Xander asked, robustly eating his own food.

" We don't have one of those, " Willow said, picking up the longish brown strip and looking at it.

" What?"

" Hell. Jews don't believe in a hell" Willow brought the strip close to her mouth, savoring the aroma.

" Really?" Xander turned to his mom. " Hey, mom, can I be a Jew, too?"Xander, who was always getting in trouble, figured he'd wind up in Hell someday. But this might be his out.

Willow bites into the brown strip, and is immediately in love. From then on, she cast aside that particular dietary law, at least outside her own household. It opened a whole new world for her. As a side note, she also discarded the meat and milk law pretty quickly, when she discovered Bacon cheeseburgers.

Smelling the bacon now brings back that sweet memory of her first taste of bacon. _But who's cooking?_ She sneaks out of bed, and being careful not to be seen, peers out the doorway towards the kitchen.

There she sees Faith moving around the kitchen like an old pro, various pans cooking on the stove. She actually flips the eggs in the air, and for a second Willow is afraid they're going to hit the floor. But Faith expertly catches them. To say Willow is amazed is an understatement.

_God, sexy, and she can cook. Damn._

Willow sneaks back in the bedroom, and goes to the closet. She pulls out a shorty robe, one that barely covers her ass. It's printed silk, with a red border. She slips into it, carefully tying the sash so it reveals just enough to hold interest. She slips into a pair of flat sandals, then walks over to the mirror to check herself out. _Hmmm… not bad, Rosenberg, not bad. Let's see if we can raise a little interest with this._ She giggles, and turns, checking out her rear. _Hmmm … well, if she's not dead, this should amuse her, I think._ She primps a little in the mirror, grabbing a brush and killing the bed hair. Sneaking into the bathroom, she gives her teeth a quick brush, then back in the bedroom, she applies a light layer of lipstick. Giggling a little, she walks out of her bedroom.

Faith is in her element. She moves around the kitchen like a pro. In the first pan on the stove she's cooking hash browns…from fresh potatoes, not frozen. The next pan has a couple of omelets almost perfectly done. The final pan contains the bacon that intrigued Willow. She has a small rack with already cooked bacon draining. In back, on the counter, she's taking care of toast.

She pulled a lot of Mess duty when she was in prison, and discovered she really loves to cook. It gave her a way to express herself in a semi-creative way( there's only so much you can do with prison food, she found.) As she became more skilled, she pulled increasing turns in the kitchen, and that made her happy.

She's having a little happy now, because it's been awhile since she's been able to cook for anyone. Mrs. Summers wouldn't let her work in her kitchen, so Faith pretty much has been cut off. But when she woke early, as was her habit, she decided she would cook for Willow. She had checked the refrigerator, and sighed. _God, imported beer, yogurt, is that goat cheese? Where's the food? No, this is just wrong._ She despaired a little, then reaching in her pants, pulled out a couple of 20's folded over. _Bless you, Mom!_

When Faith came back from her run, she was carrying a sackful of supplies. She set about her culinary tasks, feeling happy. She e hummed to herself as things progressed, running around and setting things up for her little surprise for Willow. She was just finishing up as a thought occurred to her.

_The way to her heart is through her tummy, I bet. _She pauses ._ Ummm… why did I just think that?_

" Hey, good lookin' Whatcha got cookin, " Willow interrupts her thoughts.

Faith, who just flipped the omelets expertly on the plates, looks up smiling… and almost drops the spatula.

_Wowee, _she gulps, seeing Willow in the slightly too short shorty wrap. _God, how does she do it? Last night, she was miserable and weepy. Yet, this morning, it's smiles and god, she is so sexy!_

Faith finds she has to admire Willow's spirit. She knows she would still probably be grumpy and a sourpuss if she was as upset as Willow was last night. But Willow seems to be almost glowing this morning.

" Well, look at you, " Faith says, giving out a low whistle, " Aren't we just lil Ms. Sexy this morning?"

" Little Ms. Piggy, you mean, " Willow says, looking at the food Faith's prepared. " You did all this?"

" Oh yeah. I pulled a lot of mess duty in prison," Faith, having regained a little equilibrium, smiles. " I used to cook for a few thousand. This is child's play. And If I mess up, I don't think you'll try to knife me later," She chuckles. She waves over towards the dining room . "Go, sit, sit , I'll bring it in." She orders.

Willow walks into the dining room, being followed by the appreciative eyes of Faith. She stops at the doorway, a little stunned.

Faith has pulled the leaves out of the dining room table, making it much smaller and more intimate. The additional chairs have been taken away, leaving only two. The table itself has been covered with a cloth, and linen napkins…_ I didn't know we had those…_ have been set in place, along with the silver place settings. China cups are on the table, with their saucers, and a vase filled with garden flowers makes up the centerpiece.

_My goodness how long has she been working at this? _Willow wonders, bending over to smell the flowers.

This of course is the moment Faith, carrying their plates of food, decides to enter. She almost drops the food when she sees Willow's bare butt peeking out from under her robe. _Get a grip, Faith,_ she scolds herself as she enters the dining room.

" Faith, this is just… fabulous, " Willow says, still bent over the flowers.

_Not as fabulous as the view, Red, _Faith chuckles to herself.

Willow out of the corner of her eye, notes where Faith's eyes seem to be glued, and she shifts just a little to give her a better perspective. She slowly rises, letting the robe just curtain her ass.

_Damn, that girl knows how to play it._ Faith shakes her head slightly in wonder. She carries the plates over, and sets them on the table.

Willow is smiling broadly, looking at everything. " This is just so wonderful, Faith. You did this all for me?" She blushes prettily.

" Not a big, Red. I just figured you could use a little something special this morning. After last night, that is." Faith sits down, and waves Willow down." Now, c'mon and eat before it gets cold… wait, the coffee…" Faith hops up and beelines for the kitchen.

Willow loosens the tie on her robe, allow a bit more freedom upstairs… and the possibility of some unexpected viewing for Faith. She looks at herself a little critically._ Damn, just wish sometimes there was a wee bit more upstairs. Oh well, we work with what we're given._

Faith returns, coffee pot in one hand, a plate of toast in the other. She smiles, a little embarrassed.

" Damn, I almost forgot the toast, too. I don't know where my mind went all of a sudden." She sets down the toast, then pours coffee for the both of them.

_I'm hoping, approaching where I'm trying to put it, _Willow giggles softly. Faith returns the coffee decanter to the kitchen, and finally sets herself down.

" You don't do like, a prayer or nothing, do you?"

" Nope."

" Then eat up, girl." Faith says, digging into her own food.

Willow looks at her plate a little nervously. While it all looks good, looks can be deceiving. _No matter what, pretend you like it, _she thinks to herself. She cuts a small bite out of her omelet, and puts it in her mouth, expecting the worst.

" Oh my god! Oh my god!" Willow exclaims, taking a much larger second bite. She chews her omelet , a very happy expression on her face. " This is just… superb, Faith. I've never tasted better!" She begins to eat in earnest.

Faith has to chuckle. She saw the expression on Willow's face when taking that first bite.

" Yeah, I haven't poisoned anyone yet," She grins, watching Willow eat.

" Mmmm," Willow makes a happy noise as she demolishes the omelet. _Buffy, you have NO idea what you've got. A beautiful woman that's an excellent lover and can cook. I swear, if you weren't my best friend… oh god this is totally fine!_

"Well, it's good to see you haven't lost your appetite, " Faith chuckles. She's getting a happy out of Willow's happy.

" Mmmm, from now on? You're definitely on breakfast duty, girl. This is… " She waves a forkful of omelet, " … just divine." The forkful disappears into her mouth.

Faith sits back, watching the show. She can't help grinning. Willow's obvious enjoyment after last night's tears just raises the respect bar way high in Faith's mind. _Gotta love someone that bounces back that well. Damn, I said the " L" word. A definite no-no… even in here._

Willow looks up, and stops eating. She frowns.

"What's wrong, Faith? You're not eating," She looks at Faith's nearly untouched omelet. " You didn't poison the food, did you?" She teases.

" No, dope. Just watching you eat."

" Oh, god, " Willow blushes." I'm totally making a piglet out of myself!"

" No way. I love to see a girl with a healthy appetite, " Faith grins and winks, " All sorts of healthy appetites."

" Oh, really?" Willow says. " I like to see a girl eat too, " she shoves the innuendo right back at Faith. " As a matter of fact…" She gets up, and walks over next to Faith. She picks up her fork, and cuts a bite of the omelet, "Open up" She says, waving the fork close to Faith's mouth.

" What am I ? Three?" Faith laughs. " I think I can feed myself."

" Aw, let me feed you, just a little. Please?" Willow bends over, making sure Faith can get a good view.

" Well…" Faith's eyes wander under Willow's robe. She shrugs. " If you insist…" She opens her mouth, and is rewarded by a bite of egg. She definitely is growing an appetite, just not necessarily for omelet.

" That's a good girl, " Willow coos, stroking Faith's neck.

_Do you want me to eat, or just melt?_

Willow cuts her a significantly larger bite. " Now another , baby." She pushes the fork to Faith's lips. Faith opens her mouth, but the bite is large, a little too large. She bites off most of it, but some falls out, and down onto her chest.

" Oh, my. Look what I've done!" Willow looks at the bit of egg. She leans over, and licks it off Faith's chest.

Faith has a major shiver. _God, are we even going to make it through breakfast? Not if she keeps this up!_

" Ummm… think I can handle it from here, " Faith says, a slight quaver in her voice. As gently as possible she retakes the fork from Willow. Willow, pouty and a little miffed from being foiled in her obvious seduction, walks back to her place, making sure a little extra bounce is evident in her walk. _Faith may be eating, but I know where her eyes are._

Willow sits primly in her chair, watching as Faith, with obvious enjoyment, makes good progress on her omelet. Taking a piece of toast, she chews on it thoughtfully.

Her whole body tells her that Faith is more than turned on by her sexy little outfit. Also, she caught Faith peeking when her butt was on display, and her eyes definitely wandered under her loosened robe. So, it wasn't a lack of interest that put her off. But what was it?

It's then that the piano drops on her head. She looks around at what Faith did this morning, what she did last night, and realizes how romantic and intimate it all was. Up to now, what they've had has been very casual; a mutual comfort society aimed at getting them both through a rough patch. But last night, Faith not asking for anything more than to comfort her, and this morning, with the obvious work she put into breakfast, it takes it to a different level. Maybe not consciously, but it definitely has signs of something more than either had been looking for or expected. More, herself coming out in the come hither robe, and putting on the seduction, is sending a very definite signal.

Willow had to think about that. _Up to now, things have been pretty safe. There were roadblocks in the way of anything serious happening here. One of those roadblocks is very much in the works of being… well, put aside, anyway._ Willow pauses thinking as an ache in her heart makes it hard to think. _What was I thinking? Oh yeah, roadblocks. Now there's another one, a significant one. It keeps things casual, but …_ Willow has to wonder if that's what she wants. Looking at Faith, who seems to be avoiding looking at her, she has to think if it's all just her, too. But there is definitely this 900 pound gorilla on the table, and it has blonde hair.

" Buffy, " Willow says out loud, without meaning to.

" Huh?" Faith looks up, at the mention of the name." What about Buffy?"

" I think she's the nine hundred pound gorilla sitting on the table at the moment, Faith."

Faith puts down her fork, a quizzical look on her face. " I'm sorry, when did we switch to the discovery channel?"

Willow smiles warmly. " Faith, what you did last night for me, and this morning? I know you were just doing it out a sweetness in your heart. But if you think about it, it has a very romantic edge to it."

" Whoa up, hey!" Faith protests." I wasn't like… scamming or anything here." Faith definitely has an offended tone in her voice.

" No, baby, that isn't what I meant. What you did by just holding me last night, was so utterly sweet and thoughtful, I can't tell you what it means to me. And then, going to all this work because you think it'll give me a happy? That's just so…" Willow shakes her head, biting her lip. She's afraid the waterworks will be coming on again soon. " But let's be real here too, Faith. Maybe not intentionally, or consciously, there is definitely a romantic feel to all this. And it didn't help I came out in the easy open, come take me packaging, either, " Willow blushes.

Faith smiles at Willow's sudden modesty, and reaches out, covering her hand with her own. " Believe me, I'm more than delighted with the packaging." She returns Willow's warms smile.

" I think we have to admit to some things here, Faith. First of all, there's the fact that something is going on here. Not consciously, or deliberately, but I think things have been changing, even before last night." Willow arches a brow.

Faith stirs the remains of her omelet in her plate, thinking. _Have I totally fucked up , or what? I don't want her thinking this Is moon- June kind of stuff._ She looks at Willow, and feels a definite heart-in-throat moment._ But is she right, in a way? Is there something more than two friends sharing something? I have to admit, I find myself thinking about her, maybe not all flowers and candy and kisses, but thinking about her more than before. And I do have to admit, the thought of something more? REAALLY SCARY… and not at all freaksome. Am I bad? Is this so wrong? God, why does it have to be something like this? What ever happened to get in, get some, get out? Why do I so not want to get out right now? No, no, I don't love Willow. Not like that. But I'm starting to think, it's not totally impossible, either. And I'd be lying if I said it was._

Faith looks up and sees Willow gazing at her expectantly.

" Did you mean it's my turn to say something?" She blushes, " Sorry." She furrows her brow." Look, Red, if I said I was having these candy and roses and moon-June feelings for you right now? That wouldn't be the truth." She sighs, " on the other hand, that it could happen? Also very much the truth. And it kinda scares me. I love Buffy, I do. But … this sounds really bad… you're here, looking like that, being who you are; and I'm here, and I can't help feeling some soft feelings for you; and she's not here. Except as that 900 pound blond gorilla sitting on the table. And that something else might be going on, where I'm not thinking about it but it's real? Also very true. It's confusing, and hey, I'm no expert on relationships that last more than a few hours with lots of sweating and grunting going on."

Willow giggles at the image… and gets a major tingle moment.

" But … I'm thinking that whatever's going on, we're not ready for more than what we've got going now."

" I agree, " Willow says firmly, much to Faith's wide eyed surprise. " Oh what? What?" Willow breaks out in a huge smile. She gets up, and walks over to Faith, plopping down in her lap. " You thought I was going to come over here, and grab you…" She takes Faith's head, pulling it to her chest," And say something like " Let me take you away from all this, sugar, and make you forget that Blond girl ever existed! I love you, I need you, and I want you, Faith!" Willow says in a mock romantic declamatory mode. She laughs, and pushes Faith's head away. " Get real!"

Faith sits there, her whole body tingly from top to toe. _Damn, how does she just do that?_

" Look, honey. We both love Buffy. A little differently, but she means a lot in both our lives. And there's no way either of us are going to do anything to hurt her, right?" She looks down at Faith, who is looking up at her.

" Yeah. I love B. Hurting her? Not an option," Faith says definitely.

" So, we're going to keep things casual between us, but acknowledge that something more, while it's not going to happen now, is definitely there. We're NOT going to push it, but we're not slamming doors, either."

" Uhhh… no, " Faith agrees. Finding it hard to think with Willow's chest scant inches from her face.

" Good girl, " Willow kisses the top of Faith's head.

"Ummm…does this mean we're sorta not…" Faith can't help letting her eyes stray towards the living room, and Willow's bedroom beyond it.

Willow looks at her like she's lost her mind. " ARE YOU NUTS!" She declares, half laughing. " You think I'm going to give up the best sex I've had in like…ever, just because of Buffy? Get real!" She wiggles her half naked ass in Faith's lap. " Is that what you _really_ want?"

_First word FUCK, second word NO._

" No," Faith says simply.

Willow hops off Faith's lap. " Glad to hear it. I love Buffy, but if she thinks I'm going to become a nun for her, she really is insane!' Willow stops, and thrusts out her hip, " Though you know? I think I'd make one hot little nun? What do you think?" She stares at Faith

Faith definitely has a sweaty moment. She grins, " You're just all about the bad, aren't you?"

" Hmmm… maybe. Though, with those dimples? I think you'd be adorable in a wimple" Willow starts moving around the table, collecting dishes. " Since you made this wonderful breakfast, I'm volunteering for dish duty. You just sit back and relax and be all pretty for me." Willow gives Faith the once over, noting that her bra is missing from under her wife beater, and she's already showing some signs of excitement. " Very pretty." She nods.

Willow bustles about the table, collecting up the plates and such. She makes sure every time she passes by Faith, she 'accidentally' brushes against her. Finally, dishes in hand, she sashays out of the dining room, her ass swaying sexily, not completely hidden by her wrapper. " Be done in a jiff, babe." She calls as she turns the corner.

Faith sits there, marveling. _That girl? Defines sexy._

" Oh, Faith?"

Faith looks up in time to have her head covered by Willow's robe, which seems to magically be floating down on her.

" Take care of that, please? It's silk, and I'd hate to ruin it doing the dishes." Willow giggles.

_What the fuck?_ Faith pulls Willow's wrapper off her, staring at it. The implications are clear. Standing up, she carefully folds the silky garment, and puts it over the back of her chair, She walks out of the dining room and into the kitchen.

There she finds Willow merrily humming to herself, doing the dishes. She of course is totally naked, and her ass swings jauntily in time to the little tune she's humming. Faith can't remember ever seeing anything so sexy.

She strides over, and puts her arms around Willow.

" Well, hello there, " Willow purrs, smiling and still washing dishes. " Miss me?"

" You, you, are a very, very naughty girl!" Faith growls softly.

" Oh, no, I disagree, " Willow says, wiggling her butt against Faith," I'm a very good girl."

" No, you're bad, very bad," Faith suddenly hauls Willow way from the sink, and flings her over her shoulder.

" FAITH!" Willow squeals, " What're you doing! The dishes…"

" Can wait, " Faith finishes, " But right now, I think one naughty young lady, " She slaps Willows naked butt, " Needs to get what's coming to her!"

" Oh, my," Willow says, loving the sting from Faith's little slaps. " Am I in trouble now?"

" You are indeed, girl. Have you been a bad girl?"

" Oh yes," Willow giggles," I've been a _very_ bad girl!"

Faith starts heading for Willow's bedroom. "You know what bad girls get, don't you?"

Willow smiles. " Mmmm- hmmm. " She licks her lips as she and Faith disappear through the doorway.

To be continued


	13. Chapter 13A

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 13a

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox own the right to the characters appearing in the TV show " BtVS". The other characters are the authors, as is the story. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is coincidental. Ok, Perry Mason. Happy?

1

Faith laughs as she throws Willow on the bed. Willow is giggling, and she raises her bottom up, wiggling it.

"You really are a bad girl, aren't ya, Red?" She gives Willow's bottom a light whack, then stands to start undressing.

" Yes, I'm so very bad. I need to be spanked, " Willow says, wiggling a little more." Come on baby, spank me!"

Faith laughs, and pulls off her wife beater. _God the girl is just so insane, I swear. Paddle that cute lil bottom? Sure… but the girl's about as vanilla as they come. _

Faith is pulling off her boot Willow speaks up again.

" Faith? Why'd you stop?" Her voice has a plaintive note in it. " I'm bad. I need to be punished!"

" Ok, Kinky Mistress of Pain. Jokes over, " Faith says, taking off the other boot.

" I'm not joking, " Willow's voice is insistent, almost demanding. " I want to be spanked! Do it, Faith!" She growls.

Faith looks at her, surprised. " You're serious." It's not a question.

" Yes, I want to be paddled. Do it" She thrusts her ass at Faith." Paddle me. Do it! Make my ass red! Do IT!"

Faith, still in her jeans and socks, leans over and gives Willow a medium whack on the butt. Willow cries out, then moans.

" Yes, just like that, Faith. Do it again. Please, baby, do it again!"

_Geeze!_

Faith whacks her again. Another cry and moan.

" YES!"

Faith starts paddling her. Willow's hips start to rock and she cries out and moans, wriggling her hips.

" Yes, baby, yes baby oh baby that's so hot- paddle me. Paddle the bad, bad girl!"

Willow feels the twin rivers of ice and fire in her groin and tummy as Faith gets serious about paddling her. Her emotions are all over the place. Remorse, guilt, desire, lust.

_I'm so bad, I'm so bad. Ooooh god, yes hurt me, I need to be hurt. Oh Tara baby I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry ohhh god YES do that… I'm a bad girl! So bad! Oh yes, baby hurt me more. Punish me, I'm evil I'm so bad…please, hit me again! Yes… GOD YESSS… oh god what'm I doing? Tara baby, please don't be mad at me. Don't hate me baby… Hit me Faith, harder, harder, make it HURT! Don't hate me Tara baby, please I love you but I just can't anymore daddy I'm a bad girl don't hate me Tara.. Oh yes DAMN IT HIT ME!_

" Harder Faith, do it HARDER!" Willow screams out, tears running down her eyes. Her cries and sobbing are hidden by her moans and groans. Her fire builds in her, wrapped in her remorse and guilt over Tara, her anger with her parents abandoning her, and her own feelings of abandoning Tara. The hurt in her ass makes her ache and feel good at the same time. So damned good.

Willow feels herself leaking as the first tendrils of her release start to knot around her stomach. Her ass is on fire, and so is her sweet, sweet sex.' YES BABY OH YESSS JUST DO IT ... IT FEELS SO GOOD FAITH I'M SO BAD I'M A BAD GIRL YES PUNISH ME BABY YEEESSSS! MORE, MORE! MORE! GOD YEEEESSS OOOHH BABBBEEE YEESSSSSSS!"

Willow grabs the bed and her whole body rocks as wave after wave of pure pain and pleasure overwhelm her. Her tears are streaming down her face, and she gives into her emotions, sobbing and crying, laughing and groaning as her body collapses on the bed.

Faith watches, her own emotions conflicting in her. She's never seen this side of Willow before, and she's not how she feels about it. She kneels on the bed, and starts to rub Willow's ass. Trying to take some of the sting out of it. She knows she didn't hurt her. Faith knows her strength, and she knows how to slap without doing any damage but stings. _God, I've never seen anyone cum from being whacked before. God, what kinds of kinks are hiding in all that vanilla?_

Faith is a little freaked out. Not so much about Willow having this intense orgasm after being paddled. _Whatever floats your boat, that's what I say. _But what's getting her is how damp she is, how much that just turned her on. She can feel the tingles and twitches down below, and her nipples are achingly hard. _God, what kind of kink do I got going?_

Faith is about to crawl on the bed when Willow pushes herself off the bed. Her head turns towards Faith.

_WHOA!_

Willow's expression is one of pure unrestrained lust. Her eyes seem to glitter, and her mouth is twisted into a sneer. She sees Faith, and before she can move, Willow is at her, pushing her back against the wall.

" Willow what the fuck? What's wrong with you?" Faith says as Willow starts fumbling with her belt.

" I'm a slut…. I'm Bad, and you're my bitch!" Willow growls at her. " Get 'em off, get 'em off I want you naked, bitch!" She almost rips the belt open, then rips the jeans down over Faith's hips. " I need you, bitch. I need you to make me feel good. Do it, get naked. DO IT!"

Faith feels tendrils of fear gripping her stomach._ What the fuck has happened to her? _As quickly as she can, she gets her clothes off herself.

Willow almost leaps on her, wrapping her legs around her hips, and pulling her face in for a hot passionate kiss. Willow is in control, Faith feels herself being dominated by this redheaded fury. This kiss isn't warm, it isn't gentle, it isn't loving. It's pure raw dominance, she overwhelms Faith's resistance by forcing her tongue in Faith's mouth, using it as a weapon to hurt and beat her down.

" I'm a bad girl. I'm a whore and a slut," Willow growls into Faith's ear after the kiss is ended. She rubs her body obscenely against Faith , " fuck me, Faith. I'm a slut and I need my bitch to fuck me!" When Faith doesn't respond, she squeezes her legs tighter around Faith and uses her heels to kick Faith in the ass. " Do it you little whore!"

Faith feels her own anger rising. She pushes off the wall, towards the bed. She throws Willow down on it. She jumps on her, and kisses her as fiercely and angrily as Willow has done. Willow rakes her nails over Faith's back, and Faith growls her own growing lust.

There is nothing gentle about what the two do next. The bite, scratch, slap each other, trying to hurt, trying to make it nasty and raw and painful. Faith moves down, and grabs Willow's hips.

" That's it you bitch, lick me, bite me, fuck me, do it. Make it good, make me hot, make me wet!"

Faith attacks her with her mouth, tongue and fingers, making it raw and violent and hurtful. Willow has awakened Faith's own darkness, barely simmering below the surface. Faith looks up, and feels as if a bucket of ice has been thrown on her.

Willow's face is red and her expression is one of pain and rage. Her eyes …_ god, her eyes look black_… are brimming with tears, and her cheeks are already wet from tears. It hits Faith like a freight train that Willow is not playing games. Something big is happening inside her, and she needs release, catharsis badly. Faith redoubles her efforts to bring her off, release her from the demons wrestling inside her.

Willow, caught in a whirlwind, feels the darkness rise up in her. She feels the fear and lust it brings, and for a tiny while gives into it, lets it out. Her hands grab Faith's hair, and shove her face deeper into her crotch.

" DO IT YOU FUCKING SLUT! MAKE ME COME! MAKE ME COME, BITCH! I NEED IT. HURT ME! I'M A WHORE, I'M A SLUT AND I NEED IT! HURT ME HURT ME GOD HURT ME ! YES, OH GOD YES DO THAT BITCH. DO IT…DEEPER… HARDER…FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME DO IT DO IT DO IT NOWWWWW GOOOOOODDDD … OHHHH FUCCCKKKKK!"

Willow feels as if her whole being shatters. Her guilt over Tara, and guilt over being with Faith while Buffy is recovering; her feelings of being abandoned, and abandoning her lover; her anger with her parents, especially her father for rejecting her being who she is; her darkness, the addiction monster that lurks within her: all of the bad stuff in her seems to fly away from her in a million pieces. A deep, warm light, one that encompasses the sweet and good things about her, seems to cleanse her deep within her soul. She feels limp and released and clean. For the first time in a long time, she feels clean.

Her body, sweaty, scratched, bitten, seemingly broken and remade, tired , lies panting on the bed. Her essence, the thing that makes Willow herself, seems to be lightly floating just underneath. She can't remember when she's felt like this.If ever.

Her eyes open, and she sees Faith looking at her from between her legs. She sees the concern and fear on her face. Willow's heart melts, and she holds out her arms.

" Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to freak you. I don't know what came over me… please, come here. Let me see you baby. Let me hold you." She sits up, putting weight on her butt. She winces." Ow, gosh, that really hurts!" She looks at her reddened butt.

Faith crawls up warily towards Willow. More afraid for her and her state, than herself. She comes near her, but doesn't touch her.

Willow, still inspecting her reddened ass , glances up and sees Faith. She looks her over, face full of concern and regret. " God, what did I do to you?" She asks, seeing the bite marks and scratches covering Faith. " I… god, Faith, I'm so sorry…"

" Aw, you should see the other guy," Faith cracks, not wanting Willow to feel so bad. _Not like I haven't had worse. Of course, that usually happens with a stake in my hand._

Willow smiles, the chuckles a little. " God you always do that. You always get me to laugh, even when I do something awful." She reaches for Faith, but Faith pulls back a little. " Please, honey, I promise, it's over. I won't… " she gets a look at Faith's back, that has her nail marks running down it. " Oh god!" She turns away.

" Hey, now. Enough with the waterworks, Red," Faith comes over and gently takes the girl in her arms. Willow is almost limp, her body shaking with remorse. " Hey, don't cry baby. It's fine, I'm fine. Shit, this was nothin'" Faith rocks her. " You just took me by surprise, is all. Damn, I really was only kidding about that Kinky Mistress of Pain crack. I didn't know she really lived here."

" I hurt you, " Willow mourns, looking at the bite marks and scratches on Faith. " You're being so sweet to me, and I hurt you. How can you being so sweet?"

" Gotta secret, Red," Faith leans close, and whispers." Hershey Kisses. I eat 'em by the bagful ." She rubs Willow's tummy. " You should try it."

Willow looks at her and starts giggling. " God, you're doing it again." She throws her arms around Faith's neck, and starts kissing her face madly.

" Hmmm. Willow kisses? Not so bad themselves, " Faith grins, laughing at her enthusiasm.

Willow stops kissing her, and just looks at her. " You're just something so special. This incredible person that just seems to know what to do to make it better. " Willow shakes her head. " God, how can you be so… so…" She touches Faith's face with her hand. " I just wish I could do something to …" She pauses. She gazes deeply into Faith's chocolate brown eyes. " I know." She says softly.

Willow scoots off the bed, making little whimpering noises as her butt rubs on the mattress. She walks over to her dresser, and fishes around in it. Finally, she comes back, carrying a small amulet.

" C'mere, honey," She says to Faith. Faith moves over, and Willow puts the amulet around her neck.

" Well, it's really nice, Red," Faith holds the amulet, looking at it. " But I don't think it's really me."

" Not the amulet, silly." Willow kneels down to get even with Faith's eyelevel." You love her a lot, don't you. Buffy makes your heart sing, doesn't she?"

Faith looks down, blushing a little.

" But you don't really know her, and that bothers you."

Faith nods.

" Let me give you something, Faith. You've given me so much lately, let me give you something back. Something personal and private, something I'd love to share with you."

" Uhhh… this doesn't involve me being whipped does it? Really not…" Willow shushes her with a finger.

" It's a little scary, at first. But I promise, it won't hurt you." Willow says softly, " Is it ok?"

" Red, you've already done scary. Don't see how it could be scarier." Faith says, " Ok, I guess."

Willow grips the amulet in her hand, and murmurs something under her breath. Then she looks at Faith, and touches her fingers to her forehead." Know" she says aloud.

For a second, Willow's fingertips glow, but it's quickly absorbed into Faith. Faith feels a glow suffuse her, as if she's basking in the warm sun of late afternoon. Then a brightness seems to suffuse the room, and it grows brighter and brighter until everything disappears into the bright light.

When she can ' see' again, she realizes she's seeing with her mind, not her eyes. She sees Buffy… but a Buffy she's never seen before. Buffy the way she appeared the fist day she came to Sunnydale high. Slowly, more and more images of Buffy flash through her mind, and Faith realizes she's seeing Buffy as Willow has seen her over the last 8 years.

Generous Buffy and mean Buffy, Sweet Buffy and catty Buffy. Buffy brave, and Buffy afraid. She not only 'sees' Buffy, but feels her too. The thousands of times Buffy has hugged Willow. The soft kiss on the cheek, and the one time they actually kissed on the lips. She feels Willow's emotions, all of them, about Buffy. She sees Buffy in love, and Buffy brokenhearted. Buffy dancing, and Buffy still. She sees Buffy grieving over Dawn, and feels the pain Willow felt seeing it. All of it, the enormous panorama of Buffy's life as Willow has seen it flows through her, seeming to bond to her at a her very core.

The feelings, the emotions, the sights and sounds overwhelm Faith, and by the end she is crying softly.

When she's back, aware of what's happening around her, she feels her head cradled by Willow's arm. She looks up, and Willow looks down on her.

" That was so… so intense," Faith wipes her eyes, " I've never … that was so personal. God, Willow, you really love her, don't you? God… why? Why'd you do that?"

" Because you're so incredibly sweet and thoughtful, and I wanted to give you something special. Something only I could give you. You love Buffy, and I wanted you to know her better, as I know her." Willow leans down and kisses Faith's lips. "Happy?"

Faith doesn't say anything. She just reaches for willow, and pulls her on top of herself, kissing her deeply. Her tongue makes love to Willow's; caressing and intertwining . It lasts for a long time, each sharing deep personal expressions of affection. Willow finally breaks the kiss, and begins to kiss Faith's face with small, soft wet kisses.

Faith, feeling full and incredibly peaceful, settles back as Willow kisses her. She feels Willows lips trail to her neck, and she sighs her appreciation. Then the lips move over onto her shoulders, and she feels Willow gently bite her. She giggles.

" That tickles, " She says, looking at Willow. Willow smiles, and love bites her again and again. Faith gets a serious case of the giggles.

They turn to soft gasps when Willow moves over and starts to lick her swollen nipples. She reaches up and pulls Willow's head closer, and Willow opens her mouth, taking Faith's nipple in her mouth. Faith feels small tendrils of icy fire move from her breasts through her body into her tummy and down deep in her groin, swirling and twirling inside her, starting up a tiny trickle of pleasure that grows and grows.

Willow moves to her other breast, gently flicking the nipple with her tongue, knowing Faith loves that. She looks up, and sees Faith looking down at her, her eyes half closed, shining with lust. Willow nips the nipple, and hears Faith moan softly, feeling her hips jerk. She does it again, getting the same effect. She grins evilly, and hoists herself up. She start moving from nipple to nipple, biting them and hearing Faith start to moan, her butt bouncing off the bed. She slips herself between Faith's thighs, so her groin is pressing Faiths. She begins to rub against her, and bites a nipple. Faith gasps loudly, and her hips begin to buck against Willow's mound.

Willow continues doing this, and soon Faith is humping and rubbing back against her, moaning loudly. Her moans are joined by Willow's , who is succumbing to the sweet friction herself. They wrap each other in their arms, and get serious about pounding their pelvises together. Their mouths join, and soon their bodies are rubbing together as their moans and cries are muffled inside each other's mouths. Faith rolls Willow over on her back, her hips seriously humping the smaller woman. Willow pounds in time with Faith, and soon they're both covered in an intense, enormous wave of pure release. Their lips part, and they scream out their shared joy.

They roll on their sides, each kissing and cuddling the other, cooing softly and looking into each other's eyes. Then Willow wriggles out of Faith's grip, and turns her over on her back.

She begins to lick's Faith's back, especially the marks she made there. Her warm wet tongue covers every inch. Faith sighs happily, then groans deeply when Willow's tongue takes a long slow journey down her spine from her neck to where her ass starts to swell out of her back. She pauses briefly, nibbling the swell; she then moves her tongue down between the crevice splitting her cheeks. Faith lets out another deep groan. She seriously loves that lick.

Willow moves down a little more, then lifts Faith's pelvis off the bed, and attacks her soft juicy lil peach. Faith pants and moans, her hips rocking gently as the little trickles of pleasure begin to build into torrents. Willow teases her madly, caressing her and then withdrawing her tongue, listening as Faith whimpers her need. She moves closer, burying her tongue in Faith, waggling it gently within her. Faith whimpers and moans, pants and groans, her hips swaying faster now. Willow dances her tongue within Faith, driving her nearer and nearer, relentlessly pushing her. Faith pushes back against Willow, raising her hips so she can get deeper within her. Her moans turn to groans and then to cries, soft cries moving up the scale as she is hit again and again by tidal waves of emotions and pleasure.

Willow is rewarded by a flood of Faith's sweet love, which she drinks greedily. She then slides up to Faith, cuddling her as she shivers and shakes through her sweet, sweet ride.

Faith is totally devastated. After what Willow shared with her, and the rides she took her on, she feels as if her insides have turned to glass, shattered, been re-smelted and reformed. Her emotions are running all over the place, and she can only stare at Willow as she cuddles her. She's wiped. Purely, completely obliterated.

She turns to Willow, and a very strong urge rises in her to blurt out the " L" word. She knows she can't, however. If she does, she'll totally freak Willow, and that's the last thing she wants to do. Faith knows the rules. This is supposed to be casual. No ties, not commitments, no tears.

She looks over at Willow, and sighs. She's just beginning to learn that she doesn't have a clue about who this woman is sleeping next to her. Today more than proved that when you peel back a layer on her, another layer is underneath. Each is fascinating, and special. _Who are you?_ Faith asks herself, watching Willow sleep. _Will I ever know?_

Somehow, she doesn't think she ever will.

2

Buffy stamps her feet and rubs her hands to keep warm.

_Damn, this city is cold!_ She thinks as she looks around for a mark. She blows her breath over her hands to keep them warm.

Buffy hasn't been in Kent long. She's wandered down from Cleveland, hoping to find better luck here. Finding a job has been next to impossible. _I guess not many jobs for an ex-slayer, ex-vampire from out of town with no real background. Damn._ If she could even find just a waitressing job somewhere, anything really, just something so she wouldn't have to sleep in shelters anymore… or worse, in the streets. She's done that a few too many times, and it's been more than a little scary. She's been assaulted too many times to count, and a couple of the guys tried to rape her. Fortunately, she was stronger than she looked, and knew more than a few moves. Still, one of these nights her luck might turn sour. She didn't want to think about that.

_Well, this is really going well, Buff. Isn't it? Loving your new life yet? Here's a tip, girl. Next time you run away from home? Take money!_ Her money had run out quickly, too quickly. She'd hoped to get some kind of job, but for some reason … _homeless, maybe? No address, maybe? No prior work history, maybe?_ … she hadn't had any luck. She was sleeping in shelters, when she could get a spot. Or on the streets, when she couldn't. She thought she was cruising one time when she found an abandoned building, but she was chased off by three rather burly looking guys who didn't want to share their digs. At least, not unless she put out. She didn't feel like become the disease carrier of the month, so she ran. After that, she decided she'd had more than enough of Cleveland.

She managed to hitchhike down to Kent, grabbing a ride from a commuting student. It had been nice to talk to someone her own age, and made up a story about having an aunt in Kent she was staying with. She'd gotten stuck in Cleveland when she got mugged, losing her purse. That sort of helped to explain her slightly beaten-up look, too. He was an Education major at Kent state, and she talked about Willow, how she was going for her degree in education. Then, despite the fact that she looked somewhat less than a fashion model, the boy had gotten a little grabby, and she'd had to remind him gently that what was hers was hers, and was going to pretty much stay that way. _God, boys, do they like never get not grabby?_ It had gotten somewhat quiet after that, and she found herself standing on the roadside as soon as they made Kent.

Slim as pickings had been in Cleveland, Kent turned out to be even worse. Pretty much a college town…_Kent State, DUH_… finding any kind of work meant having to compete with the college kids looking to work while going to school. She had really tried though. She even pulled out her dress and heels, trying to dress up a little when applying. But maybe it was the fact that she often had to clean up in gas station restrooms, or the look of desperation in her eyes, or just the neat little scar she picked up the time that wino hit her in the head with a bottle, whatever it was, she didn't get the job…any job.

So, here she is, standing out front of a convenience store, panhandling. She finds these places usually were the best, because most of the transactions, cash. And the customers usually have some change. But tonight so far hasn't been too good.

She sees a man heading for the convenience store. She moves in like a shark after chum.

" Mister, hey mister. Can you help me out here? I came over to Kent here to check out the school. And duh, dumb blonde…" She flips her hair, " I lost my purse. Man, totally stupid, right? But I don't have bus fare back home to Akron, and if you could help me out with some change…?"

The man stops, looking at her with some disdain.

" What's your problem, girl? Why don't you get a job?" He says with some disgust, disappearing through the Convenience Store's glass door.

_Love to, guy. Got one for me?_

" Miss, I'm sorry to disturb you. But I lost my purse, and I need bus fare home. Think you could spare a little …" _Crap, that one didn't even stop!_

" Mister! Sir, sorry to bug you, but I lost my purse, and I'm kinda stuck, you know? Need bus fare to get home. Think you can help me out?" Buffy smiles at him, turning on the puppy dog eyes.

The mans stops, sighs, and digs into his pocket. He pulls out some change, and hands it to her.

" Gee, thanks, Mister…" But he's gone already.

Buffy looks at her haul. _Well, not a fortune, but if I get a couple more tonight, I can afford the greasy dogs that place sells. Vomit worthy, but they fill you up._

Buffy spends another hour in front of the story, cadging for spare change. Most ignore her, but she manages to snag a few more marks, turning on the charm, using the puppy eyes, and the wistful lost waif look. Finally, she moves back, and counts her haul. And sighs. _Hot dogs it is. Man, getting a buck outta anyone these days? Hard as pulling hen's teeth._ She moves towards the door, ready to buy 'dinner' when she sees an older woman making her way towards the store. _Oooh, grandma at 6 o'clock, Buff. They usually are pushovers. Maybe I can get enough to…well, at least get dessert._

" Hi, ma'am? I'm sorry to bother you. But I'm kinda in a jam here? Dumb me, I lost my purse somewhere, and I'm stuck without any bus fare. Think you could spare a little change? So I can get home?"

Rose Weiss takes a good hard look at the young woman standing by the entrance to the convenience store. She quickly notes the scuffed boots, the tear in the jacket, and the slightly worn look on the girl's face. More, she sees the little scar on her forehead._ Wonder where home is exactly? Maybe behind back in the alleyway? Or over at the shelter on Main? Goodness, where do these poor kids come from, anyway?_

" How old are you?" Rose asks, not going for her purse.

" Excuse me?" Buffy asks. _What, I gotta take a test for spare change? Please!_

" I asked, how old you are."

" Yeah, I heard that. I just didn't understand how that's your business?"

"I'm just curious," Rose replies, looking her over again. " You're what? In your early 20's, maybe?"

" So?"

" Just I have a granddaughter about your age, I think…" she cocks her head. " Kind of surprised me, you don't look the type, really."

" Type? Look, I'm kind of confused here. What kind of type?"

" Oh, I mean a panhandler. Usually I can spot them. They eyes, mostly. Have a hard look to them. Or their mouths. Sometimes it's just the smell. " She gives Buffy another look. " So, why are you panhandling?

" Whoa, lady, I'm sorry. I lost my purse, just needed some money to get home. Forget it, sorry I bugged you." Buffy starts to take off.

Rose stops her, grabbing her arm. " Look, miss, I'm sorry. Just usually, the panhandlers? Using drugs, or alcoholics, or lazy. You don't hit me that way. I was just wondering why you're out here, in freezing weather, cadging change."

" Look, ma'am? I told you, I lost my purse, just need some money to get home. Believe me or whatever, not caring. Not up for twenty questions, so if you'd let go of my arm, I'll be on my way now." She pulls her arm away, and walks down the steps.

_Geeze, what's Nosey Parker's deal, anyway? What's with the third degree for asking for some change? She coulda just said no. Cripes, I swear the people around here? Weird!_ Buffy strides quickly down the street, figuring she'll come back later when Jessica Fletcher's gone.

" Miss! MISS! Please, wait. I'm sorry, " Rose says, trotting after her. " Could you slow down a little, please? I'm kinda old, and I don't run as well as I used to!"

Buffy stops, huffing to herself._ Crap, she'll have a coronary on me, then there be all sorts of shit to deal with. _She turns around, frowning.

Rose catches up, pausing a second to catch her breath.

" Ma'am? Look, I'm sorry I bothered you, but can't you just let me get on with my business, and you go home and have a cup of tea?"

" I'm sorry I offended you, Miss. I really didn't mean to. I just saw you, and I didn't get the panhandler vibe. So I was wondering why you were doing it. Do you have a name?"

Buffy sighs. " Again, with the questions, " She says impatiently. " Anne, my name's Anne, ok? Can I go now?"

" Hello, Anne, I'm Rose, " Rose offers her hand. Buffy stares at it. " Alright, then, " Rose says, " So, where's home, Anne? I mean, since you're so anxious to get back there."

Buffy gives her a hard look. " You know what? I've tried polite, and I'm tired of it. Go away , please. Not wanting to play this game." She turns on her heel, and strides away.

Rose watches her go, and sighs. _Nice one, Rose._ She turns, and starts back towards the store.

And runs right into a rather tall young man. He doesn't look very friendly.

" Hey, Lady, " the young man says, " that purse looks kind of heavy for you. Why don't you let me have it now?" He pulls out a knife.

Rose's eyes go wide, and she swallows hard. " My purse? Right. Is kind of heavy…" She swings it at the mugger, but misses. _Oh, very good Rose, so very good!_

The man grabs her, and takes her in a choke hold.

" Now, that wasn't very friendly, grandma," He holds the knife point under her chin. " Now, aren't you sorry you just didn't give me the purse?"

" Well, maybe because she thought you were just way too ugly, Moron," Buffy says, hands on hips.

The mugger looks at her, and starts laughing. He shoves away Rose, and raises his knife.

" And just who the hell are you? Tinker bell?" He lunges at he with the knife.

Instead of dodging away, however, Buffy steps to the side, grabs his forearm, and brings up her knee, hitting his wrist hard and causing him to lose his knife.

" Oh , oh, you dropped something," Buffy says, letting him go.

He lunges at her, but she just sidesteps him. With a swift kick to his rear, she sends him flying on his face. She recovers his knife, and backs away.

" Ummm.. Rose? Now would be a good time to run, " Buffy says. She tosses her the purse, " don't forget this."

The mugger has gotten up, and is back. He hits Buffy with a punch, and she goes staggering back. She wipes her mouth, which is bleeding.

" So, Tink, not so cocky now, huh?" The mugger comes up to her, but she ducks under his punch, and delivers one of her own, and kicks out, hitting him in the family jewels. He cries out, and grabs his crotch, bending over.

" You fucking bitch, " he snarls, " I'm so gonna…"

But he doesn't get to finish. Buffy comes up to him, and while holding his head in place, delivers a blow with her knee to his face. He drops to his knees, and she punches him twice. It's over when he hits the pavement, unconscious.

_Yeah, Buff, you still got it, girl. _She congratulates herself.

" That was amazing!"

Buffy almost jumps out of her skin. She turns, seeing Rose standing there, clutching her purse.

"Are you still here? Waiting for the next one to show up?" Buffy asks sarcastically." Please, just go home."

" Ok, I'm sorry. Just, that was pretty amazing, Anne," Rose turns around, and looks down the street. She hesitates.

" Lady? What're you waiting for?" Buffy asks impatiently. Seeing the mugger stirring, she walks over, and brings her boot down on his head. He groans, and passes out. " I don't think he's going to be sleeping forever."

" Right. Just remembered, I came to get something from the store." She starts towards the store, and stops,. She looks back at Buffy.

"What?" Buffy asks, clearly irritated by now.

" I'm rather afraid now to walk alone," She says, looking somewhat worried. She looks down the street, then back to Buffy.

_Oh, crap!_

" Ok, ok, go get what you were getting, and I'll walk you home." Buffy says, sighing heavily._ God, when did I become Mother Teresa, anyway?_

" Thank you, "Rose smiles, looking more confident. She starts towards the store, then stops. She turns to Buffy.

" Now what?" Buffy is passing irritation, quickly approaching angry.

" I was just wondering, Anne. When was the last time you had a decent meal?"

That does it. Buffy walks over to Rose, and even though the older woman is taller, tries her best to look down on her.

" Listen. I've just done you one favor, and going to do you another. I'm REAALLY tired of the questions. I eat fine, ok?" But Buffy's stomach betrays her, picking that moment to make a loud growling sound.

"Ok, dear, " Rose says, patting her arm, " It's just a shame, really." She turns to go into the store.

" What's a shame?" Buffy asks, suspiciously. Also, her tummy does an encore. _Shut up, dammit. I'll feed you soon enough!_

" Oh, just, I have this lovely pot roast I made. Silly me, I'm not eating like I used to, and I made way too much. I just hate to let it go to waste."

Buffy almost drools. She hasn't had anything decent to eat in …well, weeks. And of course, her tummy gives its opinion, loud and clear.

" Really wasteful, I don't know what I was thinking. Guess I'll have to toss it, along with the mashed potatoes and gravy, and the peas, and the corn muffins. Just a shame." Rose shakes her head, but looks at Buffy out of the corner of her eye.

Buffy is under torture. On the one hand, she'll be damned if she'll admit she's half… Ok, forget half, fully starved. Even if her traitor of a stomach won't shut up. On the other hand. Pot roast. Yummy. Mashed potatoes and gravy. Double yummy. Peas, Corn muffins…heaven. _Damn. It's just not fair! But I'm so damned hungry. And Pot Roast?_ She pretends to think about it.

" Well, I'm really not that hungry, "She finally says, patting her almost non-existent tummy, " Big lunch. But, it's really a shame to waste good food. I know mom always got after me about that." Buffy pauses a second, a little ache burning in her heart. "… I might be able to stuff something down… you know, to help out, of course."

" Well, Anne, isn't that just the nicest thing? I'll feel so much better that food isn't going to waste, " She gets a slightly winsome look on her face." I don't suppose there might be room for some chocolate cake?"

Buffy gets images of pieces of chocolate cake with legs, dancing on plates. She realizes she's drooling, and surreptitiously wipes her mouth.

" Dunno, we'll see, " She says. She can't get the image out of her mind, the cake having the cutest legs.

" Thanks , Anne. I really do appreciate this," Rose smiles, "I'll be right out."

Buffy goes down a few steps, and smells a small rat. _Ok, who makes chocolate cake by accident?_ But still, her whole body is having a major happy just thinking about food. _Oh, crap? What if she's a lousy cook?_ She thinks about her alternate dinner choice, and her stomach turns over. _Ok, anything's got to be better than that. And anyway, isn't there some rule that little old grandma ladies have to be good cooks or something?_ Though when she thinks of Rose, she doesn't see her as being particularly little, or really old, or frail. Actually, the thing that impressed itself on Buffy was the strength she seems to casually emanate from her._ I swear, if she was a little younger and faster, she'd probably have decked that mugger herself. _Thinking of that, she looks over where she left the mugger, and notices he's gone. _Off for easier pickings. Teach him to mess with an ex-slayer!_

Her mind wanders back to food, and she gets a down low warmth that she can't remember having in ages. Not since… and she gets a real big ache in her heart. _Damn, and I was doing so good today. I hadn't thought of her since this morning. Shit!_ Buffy feels the ache spread through her body, and her eyes start to burn and itch. _No, I won't, I won't! It's childish and stupid. This is what I chose, and I'll be damned if I'm going to be some weepy baby about it._ Then she sees Faith's dimply smile, her eyes warm and soft, she feels the way her hand feels on her, in hers, and almost smells her scent. The tear ducts rebel, and her cheeks are suddenly flooded._ Damn, stupid Damn!_

" Anne, are you alright, dear?" Buffy turns away from Rose, wiping her eyes. She feels a gentle but firm hand on her shoulder. "Anne?"

" I'm fine, ok? I'm fine, " Buffy almost snarls, wiping her cheek. She turns to Rose. " Can we just get this over with?"

Rose realizes that she's intruded on an important and private moment. She discreetly overlooks the tear stains on Anne's cheeks, and gently takes her arm. " This way, dear."

As they walk down the street towards their destination, Rose can't help but notice that Anne is consciously keeping her face turned from her. _Poor girl, too proud to let anyone see her suffer._

Rose has a small epiphany. She realizes that this isn't the normal street urchin she is in the habit of helping. This one doesn't appear addicted, or weak, or a fool. This one has some strength. She can sense it as automatically as she breathes. But then, Rose has always had the knack of noticing the special ones.

The Weiss family has a history of 'sensitives' in it. The women, particularly, had a … well, power might be too strong, but ability to sense other's emotions and thoughts. Her own grandmother, Esther, could seem to read your mind just by looking at you. It sometimes skipped a generation, like it had in her own daughter. But her granddaughter? A wholly different story._ That one is powerful. More powerful than any Weiss I know about. And that's not just Grandma's pride, either. She's going to do wonderful things, one day._

Rose looks over at Anne._ This one, too. This one is suffering deeply. Something bad has really happened to her. But she's strong. I can feel it. Not just physical strength, though my, she's strong for such a tiny thing. No, there's a core in there, burning bright but obscured. And some darkness. She has to be real careful about which way she goes. But I think, with a tiny bit of help, she'll be fine. Just fine._

" Are we ever going to get there?" Buffy says impatiently, noticing the older woman seems to be lost in her own little world.

" My, my, I seem to be gather wool, don't I? Sorry Anne." She looks at the houses in front of her, and points. " There, that one." She smiles.

" Finally," Buffy mutters a bit loudly.

" Anne, dear, if you're really in a hurry, I can just pack you a little something to go. You don't have to stay, you know." Rose says quietly. " Though of course, I'd love the company."

Buffy looks at the house, and at Rose. It's true, she hadn't planned on spending more than a moment with this woman when she was trying to beg spare change from her. And it's also true that she doesn't really want her to know anything about herself. On the other hand, she can't help wanting ,for once, not to have to eat dinner out in the open, or sneak it somewhere so no one will steal it from her. She'd love to sit at a table and eat like a human again. She's a street person, and she knows she looks like one, but that doesn't mean she likes it. And anyway, where exactly _did _she have to go in such a hurry? _The street? Gonna be there when I get back to it._

For the first time that evening, Buffy feels ashamed for being so rude.

" I'm sorry, " Buffy says, " I've just had a bad day." She smiles, and her face seems to light up. " I'm in no big hurry."

Rose notices the change, and it touches her heart. _Yes, I think she'll be just fine._

" Well then, Anne, " Rose says as she guides the young woman up the stairs to the front door, " Why don't we see if we can do something about that pot roast?"

3

Buffy demolishes the last bite of the chocolate cake, then sighing happily, sits back in her chair.

She's stuffed. Full beyond full, uncomfortably full. She can't remember when she felt so good. She takes her napkin, and wipes away evidence of the cake from her lips, and burps quietly. She blushes.

From her perspective at the other end of the table, Rose Weiss has been watching the spectacle of Buffy's battle with the meal with amusement and some amazement. She consumed half a pot roast, two mounds of potatoes, enough peas to fill a field, and 3, no… 4 corn muffins. That doesn't include the two pieces, large pieces, of chocolate cake she just vaporized. She looks at Buffy and shakes her head. _Where did she stuff all that in that tiny little body?_

But she really doesn't care. She just feels happy the girl actually ate something. It was obvious this has been the first good meal she's had in a long time.

" Can I get you some more cake, Anne?" Rose asks, when Buffy finishes the last little bit.

Buffy looks at her with wide eyes, and blushes.

" Oh my god, no! I've already made such a pig of myself," Buffy says, looking at the plate which she nearly licked clean. " but everything was so delicious. Thank you so much." Buffy pats her slightly swollen stomach. " I feel like a camel. Don't think I'll have to eat again for a week." She burps again, and turns red. " Sorry."

Rose chuckles. " Well, not sure it's a good idea for you to skip meals, but I'm happy you enjoyed everything. Good to see a young woman with a healthy appetite. Too many try to starve themselves these days."

Buffy hauls herself out of her chair, and starts to clear her place.

" What're you doing, Anne?" Rose asks.

Buffy looks up, a little embarrassed. " Well, I thought… you made such a nice dinner and all, and I can't really pay you for it, I thought I'd clear the table and wash the dishes… if that's ok?"

Rose is truly touched. She knows most wouldn't even think of offering to do the dishes for her. That the girl felt a need to pay for her meal by doing so said a lot about her. _Obviously somewhere there's a mom that would be proud of her daughter._

" Don't be silly, girl. You're a guest." Rose waves her down.

" Please. I don't want to sound rude. You've been very nice to me, " Buffy says, " but I can't accept the meal for nothing." She digs in her jeans, and pulls out her haul from the day: a collection of quarters mostly with a couple of bills and some dimes and nickels. " I can give you…" she quickly counts it up, " 5 dollars and 77 cents. The rest I'll need to get a room for the night." She looks up, " That really isn't enough, but it's yours" She puts the money on the table.

Rose makes an impatient face. "Put your money way, Anne." She says sternly. She catches Buffy's look. " Alright, very well. If you insist on being stubborn, you may wash the dishes. Just be careful. Those were a present from my late husband, Hank, and I really like them. Ok?"

" I'm sorry, I didn't know your husband had died, " Buffy says, feeling an empathetic pain.

"It was 20 years ago, Anne. I'm pretty much over it now." Rose smiles.

Buffy bustles about the table, picking up plates and glasses, handing them carefully as she carries them into the kitchen. Sipping her coffee, Rose watches her through the breakfast bar window as she fills the sink and starts to add water.

" Oh, cool. A radio. Do you mind if I listen to some tunes while I wash these?"

" No, that's fine. Just, nothing too loud and screechy, ok?" _Rose can't get over how polite she is._

" Oh no. That's definitely not dish washing music… I need something like…" She spins around the dial until a peppy Salsa number comes on. " perfect!"

Humming along with the tune, a little off key, she starts to wash the dishes, her hips swaying in rhythm with the music.

Rose is utterly delighted with sight. She loves having young people around, because it makes her feel younger, just watching them with all their energy and verve. She watches as Buffy putters round, dancing to the music, humming away, and feels a warm glow inside. Even if she breaks a plate, she figures she ahead of the game with the entertainment she's getting._ She's definitely a keeper. I wonder why she's so lost?_ Rose sighs. _Don't be a Nosey Parker, Rose. Whatever it is, It's private. It's just too bad she has to …_

She hears the radio snap off, and looks up to see Buffy draining the sink. The dishes are sitting in the drainer, drip drying.

" That was fast, " Rose says approvingly.

" Well, I don't like to mess around with dishes all night. I like to get it done, and move on." After she rinses the sink, Buffy goes for a dishtowel.

" Oh , that's ok. Let them air dry." Rose waves her away.

" Ok," Buffy says, just a little disappointed.

She's been stalling a little. She really isn't looking forward to going back out there. For a little while, anyway, it's been like being back home, and she misses being back home.

" Well, I guess I better be going. You know, busy, busy." Buffy shrugs." Thanks,… oh, well, aren't I the rude-o. I never got your name."

" Rose. Rose Weiss, but you can call me Rose."

" Thanks Mrs. Weiss, for the meal. Really good food." Buffy starts for the front door.

" Anne, could you wait a moment?"

Buffy stops, and sighs. " I really gotta get going. Or I'm not gonna have a place to sleep."

" Actually, this kind of concerns that. I was wondering if you could do me another favor?"

_Oh, boy, here it comes._

" What is it, Mrs. Weiss?"

" Well , first, call me Rose, ok?"

" Ok…er… Rose."

" Now, I was thinking. I've lived around here for nearly 40 years, and lately, the neighborhood has been getting really bad. Especially after dark. Really hard for a woman to be living alone and feel safe these days."

Buffy shrugs.

" Anyway, I've got this big old house to myself, and I don't mind that. I like my privacy. But…" She moves closer to Buffy." I've got this small guest house in back that's just standing empty." She's beside Buffy now, " I'd really feel safer if someone were living in it. Sort of like an extra pair of eyes and ears. Like I said, you don't know what can happen these days."

Buffy stands there for a moment, undecided. On one hand, she'd love a place to stay. No matter how bad the guest house would be, it can't be worse than those dives she rents by the night downtown. Or the shelter on Main, which is probably full anyway. But she's wary, and suspicious. Her trust is way low right now.

" No thanks, Mrs. Weiss. I appreciate it, but really… no," She goes to the door, then turns. " You should advertise it for rent. I'm sure you could get a couple hundred bucks a month for it, ya know?"

" Sure. But then you have to deal with renters, and they're strangers, and you never know what you're going to get."

" Well, Mrs. …"

" Rose, please?"

" Uhhh… Rose, frankly you don't know me either. I could be a druggie or a murderer or somethin' "

" I can read people pretty well, Anne," Rose says quietly, " I don't believe you're any of that. I think you're a decent young woman."

" Yeah, right, " Buffy says. _You don't have a clue… and you never will, I hope. _" G'night, Mrs. …er…Rose"

Buffy exits. Rose follows her , calling from the porch. " Anne, wait a moment!"

Buffy turns around. " Yeah?"

" Look, I know you're a busy girl, but if you happen back this way, feel free to stop by for a meal, ok?"

Buffy looks a little puzzled, but then smiles briefly. " Thanks, That's real nice." She turns, and walks off into the darkness.

Rose watches her until she can't see her anymore. Then she sighs, and shakes her head sadly.

She turns, and walks back into the house.

Continued in Part 13B


	14. Chapter 13B

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 13b

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox own the right to the characters appearing in the TV show " BtVS". The other characters are the authors, as is the story. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living or dead is coincidental. Ok, Perry Mason. Happy?

1

Buffy nods her head, looking at the doorway that was going to be her 'room' for the night.

Digging through her bag, she's kicking herself for being a total moron. She pulls out the blanket she wraps herself in, then digs to get the sweater and couple of blouses, and the sweat pants, to make herself warm enough to sleep.

"You're pretty much a dope, Buffy," She grumbles, donning her ' sleepwear'. " coulda had a cushy bunk. But no, not you. You're so smart, you're sleeping in a doorway…again. Dimwit."

She lays out the blanket, then using her bag as a pillow, settles down to try to get some sleep. Clutched in her hand is the mugger's knife she recovered earlier this evening. Something to keep another moron from trying to take her spot._ Yeah, really hate to give up the deluxe room with the ocean view, you know?_ She laughs, just a little bitterly.

_Not like you really deserve better, is it, moron?_

Wrapping the blanket around her, shifting around a little, she settles down to try to sleep.

But her rest, if that's what you can call it, is uneasy. She thrashes and moans during the night, as if fighting against someone or something. Something only she can see and hear.

Her eyes open just before dawn breaks. She lays there, staring into the lightening darkness. Her face is covered by a cold sweat. _God, they're happening again. It's beginning again. But why? I'm not a slayer anymore. This shouldn't be happening. Not now. God, not now!_

But she's having them again. The dreams. She's fighting them again: the demons, the monsters and the vampires. Not then, not as she was when she was the slayer. No, it seems so immediate, so close. As if it's happening now.

And she has those feelings again. The same she had in Sunnydale. That things aren't what they look like; if you scratch the surface, you'll see more. See things that will scare the hell out of you.

She's brought back to the here and now by the trash truck banging bins in the alley. Grabbing her stuff, she scurries away quickly before the business owner shows up. She really doesn't need that hassle. Moving down the alley a bit, she removes the extra clothing she's wearing, and stows it with the blanket in her bag. She takes a moment and stretches, feeling what must be 400 kinks in her back and legs." Hmmm. Beauty Rest stone steps. I gotta recommend them for that good night's sleep."

Grabbing up her bag, she throws it over her shoulder and strides down the alley towards her favorite hustle spot.

Trotting up the steps to the convenience store, she actually feels in the money. Not having to buy dinner last night, she actually has some money for breakfast this morning. She walks in, and stops at the hot counter, checking out the rather dubious breakfast burritos. Picking one up, she feels it's as hard as rock._ Probably older than Jesus' sandals, too._ Dropping it quickly, she heads for the back. Looking around, she grabs a bottle of orange juice. Then it's off to the bag o junk aisle, where she picks up a package of cookies and some Ho-Ho's . _Ah, the breakfast of champs and ex-slayers, _she grins as she heads for the cashier.

" Well, princess, you musta done pretty good last night, if you're actually buying breakfast today rather than sneak it out under your coat, " The cashier sort of half grins, half leers at her." So what? Get a little side action going?"

"Funny as a corpse as usual, dude," Buffy taunts him back, " and hey, baby, if I did? And you were shittin' hundreds? You'd still not be invited." She digs a couple of bills out of her jeans and slaps it on the counter. " So, dude, my money's still green, right? Ring me up so I can get out of here and get into a better smelling place, 'K?"

" Well, aren't we the touchy one this morning. What happened? That doorway not all nice and comfy last night?"

" Well, at least I'm not as touchy as you, perv. God, you really love copping a free feel every morning, don't ya? Too bad, outta luck today."

This is the typical routine, and Buffy rather enjoys needling Tim, the morning guy._ At least he has a sense of humor. God, John is such a stick._ Both get a little pleasure out of the banter.

" Ah well, what can I say, princess? I just adore street trash like you." Tim grins, " reminds me to get my shots every year."

" Ah, what's wrong, baby? You're blow up girl friend develop another hole? Well, if you weren't such a needle dick, " Buffy shrugs, " Oh well, with the fab wages you make here, I'm sure any day now you'll have money enough for Mistress Lola, the deluxe model."

" Yeah, well at least I got a place to sleep at night, " Tim leers, " Of course, I'd always share…if the price was right."

" Yeah, but you're mom would have a heart attack if you had a girlfriend that actually had a heartbeat." Buffy retorts, " and anyway, I'm not looking to catch dork disease."

Tim rings up her items. " Here ya go, princess." He gives her the change." Buy yourself a bar of soap. You might enjoy the change of scent."

" Bye pizza face, ya loser" Buffy says on her way out

" Bye, slutty." Tim calls after her._ She loves me. She just don't know it yet, _he chuckles, as he walks over to check the coffee beaker.

Buffy's next stop is the newspaper rack by the store. Even though so far, the classifieds had yielded nil in the way of jobs, still, hope springs eternal. Hope, and the strong desire not to have to dine on the crappy food at this place anymore. Or hustle a lot of strangers for loose change so she can afford it.

Walking to her favorite al fresco dining spot, also known as the bus bench, she opens the orange juice and takes a swig. She tears off the end of the Ho-Ho's, and shaking one out, takes a bite._ Yummy. Chocolaty goodness._

She turns to the back of the paper, planning on reading the want ads. But her eye strays over to the birth and death announcements, then to the obituaries. She notes there are a lot of deaths. More than would be normal in a smallish town like Kent.

She flips back through the paper, and checks out the crime pages. She reads the headline about murders being on the rise, and about the mysterious deaths. People found dead, no apparent motives. Blood loss, strange neck wounds. No blood found around the bodies, or at the crime scenes.

She sits on the bench for awhile, her face thoughtful. Her food forgotten, she just stares into the air, her mind going over and over what she's read.

_People found dead, no apparent motives. Blood loss, strange neck wounds. No blood found around the bodies, or at the crime scenes._

" It's just a coincidence, " She tells herself, " It doesn't mean anything. " She starts to turn back to the want ads, and stops. She reads over the page again.

_People found dead, no apparent motives. Blood loss, strange neck wounds. No blood found around the bodies, or at the crime scenes…_

_Damn. Vampires. Damn._

She sits on the bench a while longer, seeming to have an internal struggle going on. Finally, she comes to a decision. She gets up off the bench, and grabbing her bag and the newspaper, starts walking down the street.

She knows what she has to do, and isn't liking it much.

Rose Weiss just finishes vacuuming the front room carpet when she hears a knock at the door. She gets a slightly vexed expression on her face._ Why do these salespeople always call right when I'm in the middle of things.?_ Letting out an impatient sigh, she walks to the door. _I hope it isn't kids selling candy or subscriptions again. I'm already taking 3 papers, and I can't eat anymore candy. I know they're little sharks in kid's clothing ,probably conning me, but I can't seem to say no_.

" I already have 3 newspaper subscriptions, so if…" She starts talking before the door is fully open. Then the words die in her mouth.

Buffy, looking down at her feet, is standing at the door. She has her stocking cap in hand, twirling it nervously in her hands.

_My!_ Is all Rose can think seeing her.

" Well, Anne, this is a pleasant surprise, " Rose says, once she recovers from her surprise. " I must say I didn't expect to see you again so soon, but please, come in." Rose backs from the door, opening the screen. " I'm sure I can find something for breakfast…"

Buffy looks up, but not all the way up, avoiding eye contact. " Ummm…I'm not here to eat, Mrs. … er … Rose. I was wondering… Ah, this is a stupid idea, I'll go…" she turns away, starting down the porch.

_Dumb, Buffy. You think she'd want you around after you pretty much blew her off last night. You'll just have to…_

" Anne, dear? What is it? Where are you going?" Rose calls after her. " Is there something I can help you with?"

Buffy turns back, her expression reflecting the conflicting feelings inside. Buffy is not one to ask for help. Pride, pig-headedness, or whatever makes it extremely hard for her to say " I need some help here." So coming here and having to apologize about last night, and then ask if she can take Rose up on that offer from last night is extremely difficult. She's always been a take charge, get it done, kind of girl. Well, except in relationships, where that attitude pretty much just falls apart. It's always been one of her strengths, and also one of her weaknesses. For instance, right now; she needs help, but doesn't know how or want to ask for it.

" Look, ummm… Mrs. … Rose… Mrs. …Can I just call you Mrs. Weiss, please?" Buffy still avoids eye contact, " not used to calling someone like you by their first name."

" It's alright, Anne. I was just trying to make it less formal, but if it's more comfortable…" Rose can see the girl's really having a hard time of it here, though she suspects she knows what she's come for.

" I was really rude last night to you, Mrs. Weiss, and I wanted to apologize to you…" Buffy mumbles, " I know you were just trying to help me out, and I appreciate it and all, but I…"

" There's no need to apologize, dear. I know you're a young girl, independent and all, and want to be out on your own, " Rose can't help smiling, " I know for a fact that when I was you're age it certainly wasn't my dream to live with some old lady…"

" That's the deal, look, I was stupid, ok? I'm… wondering if … well… ah, this is just stupid. I'm sorry I bothered you again…"

"Anne, stop," Rose stops her before she can start to run away again," You're so close. Just a little more, and I promise, it won't hurt too much."

"Ok, I lied last night, " Buffy opens the gates, letting the flood rush out, " I didn't have anywhere to go, but I didn't want you to know that. I was ashamed, ok? And I didn't want charity…I don't want charity…but I really need a place to stay. I'll find a way to pay you, somehow. You tell me how much you want, and I'll get the money. I promise. Really."

" Why don't you come inside, Anne? I don't know about you, but I don't like to discuss financial matters in the front yard."

Buffy trudges up the steps of the porch, carrying her bag. Rose looks askance at the rather dirty, ratty looking luggage. " Dear, why don't you leave that out here? I just cleaned inside…" She sees Buffy's look. " Don't worry. No one will steal it during the daytime."

Buffy reluctantly drops the sack on the porch, and follows Rose inside.

" So dear," Rose says as they walk through the living room. " Are you hungry? Have you had anything to eat today?"

" Oh yeah, I had breakfast. No sweat." Buffy smiles.

" Really? What?" Rose asks innocently.

" Well, I had orange juice and.." _Crap! I left my food on the bench. I'm a moron!_" … stuff. I'm full." Buffy pats her tummy.

" Uh-huh," Rose says knowingly, " So I guess , if I just happened to have baked some fresh muffins, you wouldn't be interested then?"

Buffy remembers the corn muffins from last night. How sweet they tasted, how moist they were, how they seemed to melt in her mouth…

" Well, I guess I could eat one, I mean, to be polite, of course."

" Of course," Rose agrees. She brings the pan of muffins, along with two plates, and sets them on the table. " Would you like something to drink? Milk, coffee, juice?

" Juice, please?" Buffy asks, her eyes riveted on the muffins.

Rose goes to get the juice, and coffee for herself. She can barely hold back from laughing, seeing the way her guest is staring at the muffins. She shakes her head. _Poor dear, if she'd just learn to ask for help._ She returns to the table, giving Buffy her juice, and sitting opposite her.

" Well, Anne, please help yourself. They aren't going to leap out of the pan onto your plate." Rose takes a muffin, and cuts it in half, buttering it.

Three muffins later, Buffy looks up to see Rose looking at her, eyes wide. She blushes.

" I did it again, didn't I?" Buffy says, wiping the crumbs from her mouth, " I made a pig of myself again."

Rose can't hold back the laugh any longer," No dear, you didn't. It's ok to be hungry. Believe me, no one's enjoyed my cooking so much in years." She sobers up, and adds, " It's also alright to ask for help, if you need it."

Buffy looks at her plate, then up at Rose. " Look, Mrs. Weiss. I meant what I said in the yard. I'll find a way to pay for the backhouse. I will. I don't need charity."

" I'm not giving you charity, Anne. That's not what this is about. I'm just trying to give you a hand. I know you're proud, that's pretty obvious. And I'm not planning on supporting you. but you have to learn something. Giving help isn't just about the receiver, dear. Letting someone help gives them a feeling of worth. That they can give something back, having so much for themselves. You're kind of denying me that pleasure by refusing a little help."

" But I feel like a sponge, living here for free…"

" I didn't say it was free, dear," Rose says.

" Ah, ok. How much then?"_ Ah, man, I don't have a clue where I'm going to get the money._

"Well, as I said, I would like to have someone around. It gets kind of scary to live alone sometimes."

" That's not enough…"

" I'm not finished, dear. I'm getting up in years, and doing the yard work is not much fun anymore. So, part of your 'rent' would be keeping the yard up. And I might need help with other things around the house. Think you can do that?"

Buffy nods." I'm looking for a job. When I get one, I'll start paying money, too."

" Yes, well. About that. I have a friend who runs the Victim's shelter over on Hobart St. I sometimes volunteer there. She needs someone to do janitorial duties. It's not glamorous, and it doesn't pay much… now, dear, it's not that bad." Rose rises and goes to Buffy, who's started crying.

" Why're you being so nice to me?" Buffy gets out between quiet sobs, "I don't deserve it. I'm a bad person. I've done awful things. I've hurt lots of people. My friends, my family…. I don't deserve to be treated so…I'm… an awful person." She looks up at Rose. " I've got to make it up, make it right, don't you see? I can't go home 'til I've made it right."

" Don't you think they'll forgive you, Anne?" Rose asks gently. " Most families forgive. Did you give them a chance?"

" They forgave me, that's not it. _I'm_ not worthy to be around them, don't you get it? I've done so many bad things to them. How can I look at them, knowing what I've done… tried to do? How can they… I just can't … not until I can find a way to make it right again." Buffy sighs heavily," they're better off without me. All of them. You too," Buffy rises to leave. " You shouldn't be so nice to me. I'm an evil person. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve anything."

" Maybe not, Anne," Rose says, " but that's what forgiveness is about. Giving a chance to someone who probably doesn't deserve it. Frankly, dear, you've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to take a chance on someone who wants to help you. You have to earn you're spot back, and that's going to be hard. No shortcuts. But you won't, if you keep running away." She looks at Buffy," Do you want to work your way back?"

Buffy closes her eyes and nods.

" Good. If you didn't, you wouldn't be the person I believe you to be," Rose says firmly, " I think you're too harsh on yourself, Anne. I think you don't forgive yourself nearly enough. If you saw yourself through the eyes of your loved ones, I don't think you'd be so angry with yourself. You expect yourself to be perfect. Sorry honey, no ones perfect. Well, I am, but that's just our secret, ok?"

Buffy smiles.

" That's better, " Rose nods, " So, when was the last time you talked to your family, Anne?"

Buffy shrugs, a little embarrassed.

" I don't suppose there'd be any chance they live in Ohio?"

" No," Buffy says.

Rose sighs, " Of course not. Where do they live?"

" California," Buffy says quietly.

" Of course they do, " Rose says, " Even so, I think it's important that you call them. Let them know where you are, that you're safe…"

" No, I can't, " Buffy says, " I can't do that!"

" Don't you think they're worried about you?"

" No, they think I'm still in therapy… in England."

Rose eyes widen, " England? In therapy?" Rose cocks her head. " If you're supposed to be in therapy, why are you…?"

" I left early." Buffy puts up her hands. " Honest, I'm not crazy. I don't like talk to plants or hear voices or nothing. I'm better, but I left… I told the counselors I wanted to go home, I needed to. So they let me out…and…"

" You decided you couldn't go home," Rose finishes. " What happens when you're supposed to be back, and you don't show up? Did you think you're family's just wasn't going to notice?"

" I don't know what I thought, " Buffy says in a low voice, " I guess I hoped they'd just give up on me…"

" You're family sends you to England to have therapy…"

" It was… a special case. I really can't explain it."

" Nevertheless, they do that. I'm assuming you're family isn't rich…"

" Huh? No, not at all…"

" So, they go to the trouble and expense to send you to England, and you think they're just going to give up on you?" Rose looks at her sternly, " Not giving them much credit, are you?"

" I can't face them, I can't. I'm sorry, but you don't know what I've done. You just don't, and I can't tell you." Buffy moves away, heading for the front door. " I'm sorry to have wasted your time, again."

" Anne, stop!" Rose says, firmly," You can't keep running." She sighs, and walks to Buffy. " I understand it's hard, but you're going to have to tell them sometime. But maybe not today." She pauses, thinking for a second." Still, I think you should call you're folks. Let them know you're ok. I guess you can tell them you're still in therapy, and maybe say you'll be a little longer than you thought. I don't like to lie, but sometimes, I suppose, you have to."

Buffy starts to shake her head no.

" You'll feel better when you hear their voices, know they don't hate you, Anne." Rose sighs. " I'm sorry, but this will be a deal breaker. Part of you're rent is calling home every month. Of course, after this call, you'll be working and paying for it. If you don't call …" Rose shrugs, " I guess we don't have a deal."

"Alright," Buffy almost whispers.

" Ok, so let's make that call, then we can start getting you settled in…"

" Do I have to do it now? Can't it wait? Until I have the job and can pay for it?"

Rose gives her a stern look.

" I guess not, " Buffy swallows hard.

Rose leads her to the phone, and watches as she dials.

" All right, I'll give you some privacy. I'll be in the next room." Rose leaves.

2

Joyce Summers is just pouring her first cup of coffee when the phone rings. She looks at the kitchen clock and groans.

_Who is that this early? I hope it's not that agent for the Asian art collection again. I told him the pieces he had just weren't the type of work we sell. Some idiots never give up. And at 6 a.m. Ok, pal, I think the gloves are off now!_

Joyce walks over to the phone, and picks it up.

" Hello?" She says, impatiently.

" Mom?" a small sounding voice says, "It's me."

" Buffy? Buffy?" Joyce almost spills her coffee. It's been so long since she's heard her voice. Not since…" Baby? Are you ok? Is everything ok?"

" Everything's ok, mom, " Buffy says, " I… I just called because… I wanted to see how you are…"

" Buffy," Joyce starts breathing again. She closes her eyes to keep the tears back," I'm fine, honey. I … how are you? Are you… feeling better now…?"

" If you're asking if I still have a close personal relationship with the doorknobs? No, mom, I'm not talking to myself anymore. Or screaming… still having the dreams… and there are some bad days… but I'm getting there…"

"I'm sorry hon, I know I'm being all momish… I know that's gross… but I was worried about you… I am worried about you, honey… I mean… when you left…"

" I know, mom. I wish you hadn't seen that…" Buffy sighs, " I should've called sooner. I know. But I … after what happened… after what I did to you… I just…"

" Buffy, that doesn't matter. All that matters is that I love you, honey, and miss you. Are you coming home soon? They said maybe it wouldn't be too much longer…?"

" Actually, mom, I might be here awhile longer. I'm better, but I'm not really back to … me… yet. I still have a lot of stuff to work through…"

" It's your father, right? It's because he wasn't around, you didn't have a strong male role model. I should've been after him more to visit…"

" Mom, this has nothing to do with dad…or anything you think as guilty mom you might have done. It's just after all that's happened, I still need time to work out more stuff." Buffy pauses, " Anyway, I had a strong male role model. Giles."

" Giles is hardly you're father, Buffy…"

" I know mom," Buffy decides to redirect the topic. " How is he? How's he doing?"

" Your father? I don't know. I haven't heard from …"

" Giles, mom."

" Oh… he's ok, he's still running the Magic Box. He was upset when you…"

" Could you tell him I called, if you see him? Let him know I … miss you… I miss both of you." Buffy's voice gets quavery.

" Oh, honey, we miss you too."

" I… I love you, mom…" Buffy starts to cry.

Joyce starts to cry, too. " Oh, baby, I love you too. It's ok . Everything's ok, honey. Shhh… don't cry."

" It's not ok, mom… I did so many bad things… to you…to everyone… I'm sooo sorry…" Buffy struggles to get under control. " God, I'm being such a baby." She takes a deep breath, and exhales slowly. "Ok, better. That's better."

" Everything's ok here, honey. Don't worry about us… we'll be fine. You just take what time you need to get better."

" I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to be so… " Buffy sighs, again. " How's Faith? Is she ok? Is she there?"

Joyce hesitates._ How do I tell her? Ok, just do it. Best she just knows._ " Honey, Faith… well, Willow's been going through a bad time with Tara, and well…Faith's been staying there with her… to give her help and support."

" Oh." There's a long pause. " Oh, ok, that's good. Yes, that's what she should do. Willow's a friend. Yes, that's good".

" Are you alright, honey? " Joyce asks, hearing the weird tone in her voice.

" Oh, I'm ok, it's fine mom. Just didn't expect it, but it's cool, " Buffy recovers, " Tell Faith, when you see her? I miss her and love her."

" Ok, sweetheart," Joyce says, " are you sure you're ok?"

" Yes, I'm fine mom, really, " Buffy asserts. " Look, I better go. They're starting to give me dirty looks here. Phone charges, way high in England, you know."

" Alright, Buffy. Just don't worry, everything's ok, here. We're fine. You just get better. We'll see you soon?"

" It's going to be a while, mom."

" Ok, just concentrate on getting better, dear. I love you."

" I love you too, mom. Bye."

" Bye, honey."

Joyce sets down the phone. _Well, she sounded ok… but…well, I guess they know best. And she was a little upset about Faith. _Joyce shakes her head. _I'll never understand any of this, will I?_

Sighing, Joyce walks over to read the morning paper.

Buffy stares at the receiver for a moment, then hangs it up.

_It's for the best, Buffy. This is what you wanted. It's ok, it's ok. Just… chill. It's…gonna be ok now. She'll be happy, and that's what's important. Remember that. It's good. It's all good._

She walks into the next room, a smile plastered on her face.

" So, is everything ok? Everybody ok?"

" Yeah, it's all good. You were right, that helped." Buffy says.

" Good, I'm glad to hear it, Anne," Rose says, rising from her chair. " So, ready to go see the guest house?"

" Yes, please."

" Ok, well, it's out the back door to the left. I'll be right with you, Anne. I just need to get the key."

Buffy leaves, and Rose goes to retrieve the key from the drawer in the kitchen.

_I wonder why she's lying to me?_

She gets the key, and follows Buffy out the back door.

3

Willow hesitates at the entrance to the Bronze.

It had been a month or so since the little ' romantic' breakfast at Willow's, and the aftermath. Faith had decided to stay with her, help her get through the decision she had to make about Tara. That had helped, but it still had been a very difficult time for Willow. While they still shared a closeness , Willow had felt a slight withdrawal from Faith. Nothing specific, really, nothing she could point at and go " ah-HAH!". But she felt a definite nervousness between them, something that hadn't been there before. _Maybe I shouldn't have done the sharing thing. Maybe that wigged her out, just a little._

She couldn't just blame this on Faith. She knew, when she was being honest with herself, that she also felt a nervousness being with Faith these days. That was something they hadn't had before. The one really nice thing about the 'casual' in their relationship? It kept things lighter, easier. No messy deep feelings, no commitments to fulfill. It was, " Well, we're here, lets have a little fun together. What can it hurt?" And nobody wanted to talk about the 900 pound blond gorilla lurking in the corner.

Willow looks around the club, and spots Faith at a table. Their table._ Oh god that's not good. Not supposed to an ' our ' table. Not supposed to be an ' our ' anything. Ok, Will. Just do it. Let's get this done. _

Willow weaves her way through the crowd, heading for the table Faith is sitting at. She stops a couple of times to wait for couples who, for one reason or another, are blocking her path. She could've gone around them but for some reason … _Yeah, some reason … _isn't in a hurry to get to the table.

When she arrives at the table, she stops again, looking at Faith's back. _This is going to be harder than I thought. _She walks over and puts a hand on Faith's shoulder.

" Hey, " Willow leans over, kissing the top of Faith's head. She moves around and seats herself.

" Hey, there you are, " Faith smiles. She nods towards the half full beer bottle. " Sorry, you were kinda late, so I got a beer. Wasn't sure you were coming, " Faith is only half joking.

" Sorry," Willow smiles ruefully, " just seems like a million things hit last minute today. I got stuck at work an extra hour."

"Yeah, kinda figured. That seems to be happening a lot lately, " Faith cocks her head, " I'm thinking they take advantage of you… you know, you being so good and all ."

" It's not just me, Faith. Everybody works over some. They're not picking on me, or anything."

" Ok," Faith puts up her hands in surrender, " just seems they're taking a little advantage. Just my opinion. Not a big."

" Kind of needing the job, Faith, you know? I'm saving for school, remember?" Willow stands up. " Think I'll get a beer, be right back ok?" Before Faith can stop her she's headed towards the bar.

Faith watches her go, and frowns.

_Smooth, Faith, smooth. You know she's working hard, and it's been rough on her. Now you're playing brat. You sure you don't got some of Blondie in you? Maybe when you made love, she like passed it to you. Oh right, good. Blame Buffy now too. _

This last month hasn't been easy on her. She's felt all itchy and scratchy, and she knows why. But she can't tell Willow…you know, the one she talks to about these things. She can't tell mom… that would be mega-disaster. And Giles? Oh, please! Worst thing… one of the worst things, anyway, is that she has to hide it deep, pretend it isn't happening. Oh, and she knows it's affecting her relationship with Willow, even if she doesn't know about it. Because Faith's been all itchy and scratchy all month.

" You're kinda broody tonight," Willow says, returning to the table, beer in hand, " Everything alright?"

" Hmmm? Oh yeah, fine." Faith says. She points at her head, " just doin a little thinking. I'm not a big brain like you, Red. Takes me a little longer."

"Faith, stop that," Willow says, a little irritated. " I hate when you put yourself down like that. You're very smart, and you know you're very smart. All this " I'm dumb" stuff is really annoying, you know?" Willow takes a sip of her beer.

"Geeze, we're kinda touchy tonight, aren't we?" Faith asks, a little defensively, " I was only joking."

" I wish that were true, Faith, but we both know it's not. Everybody's told you all your life you're not smart, you're stupid, and you believe them. Well, I saw your ' light reading' Kierkegaard? Nietzche? Helvetius? Not exactly what I'd call romance novels."

" Yeah, well, I only look at 'em for the pictures. Never read the articles, you know?" Faith deadpans.

Willow snorts. " You nut, " She shakes her head, and can't help smiling. " How do you do that? always making me laugh. " Willow reaches out, touching Faith's hand. " Sorry for getting so bitchy. Just a weird day I guess."

" Oh?" Faith asks.

" Just… got this today in the mail, " Willow pulls an envelop out of her purse, and hands it to Faith. Faith opens it, starts to read the letter, and grimaces." More lawyer speak. What's it about, Red?"

Willow briefly rolls her eyes, " It's a letter confirming that Tara's been made a ward of the court." She frowns.

" You ok, Red?" Faith takes her hand and squeezes it. " I know that wasn't easy to do."

" No, it wasn't, " Willow sounds little distant, " but I had to do it. I know that. Things weren't going to change until I did."

Faith scoots her stool around closer to Willow. She puts her arm around her. " Still, that doesn't make it any less tough. Is there anything I can do? To help?"

Willow looks into Faith's deep brown eyes, and she feels herself become all jelly inside._ God, this is going to be murder. Damn!_ She reaches out , and touches Faith's face.

" You've already helped. A lot." She says softly. She smiles

Faith, however, can see the sadness behind the smile. " What? What aren't you telling me, Red? What else is bothering you?"

Willow scans Faith's face. " Kiss me?" She asks, almost a whisper. Faith leans in, and they kiss. It's a tender kiss, emotional but not passionate. It breaks quickly.

" I guess, I need to show you this, too, " Willow pulls out another envelope from her purse. She hands it to Faith.

Faith opens it, and pulls out a folder. Inside is a ticket to Cleveland, Ohio.

" Where's the other part?" Faith asks, looking in the folder.

" Other part?"

" The return ticket?"

Willow is silent. Faith looks at her, and feels a tiny stab of ice in her stomach.

" Willow? Where's the return ticket? There _is _a return ticket, isn't there?"

Willow shakes her head. She's afraid to speak.

" Willow, I don't get it. What's this mean? What's going on?" Faith looks like she wants to bolt.

" I'm leaving Sunnydale, Faith, " Willow says softly, " I'm going to Kent State to get my Master's in education. It's a good opportunity, and my grandmother lives close by. I can stay there while I complete my degree."

" I don't get it. Why now? Why're you leaving now?" Faith is stunned.

" Faith, I really have to. I need to get away from here. Too many bad things have happened in Sunnydale. Too many bad memories. Everything is still too close, too fresh. I need time to separate myself from what's happened here. Do you understand?"

" Yeah, " Faith says automatically, " no, wait…I don't. I don't understand. Is this about Tara?"

" Tara, "Willow nods, " and Buffy."

" Buffy?" Faith gets a strange look on her face.

" Yeah. Faith, honey, did you think like Buffy would come home, and we'd be all one big happy family, Three's Company style? Did you think we were going to keep doing what we do after she returned?" Willow frowns. " It's going to be awkward enough, between you two, her being gone so long, without what we're about being in the way." Willow smiles at her, patting her hand. She sees the look on Faith's face. " Don't worry, baby. I'm ok about it. I know I was just a placeholder. Buffy will be home soon, and you two will get together, and it's going to be all good, you'll see. It'll be easier if I'm not here."

Faith shakes her head, as if trying to clear out a bad dream.

" Buffy's not coming home, " Faith says simply.

" What?" Willow looks shocked.

" Not right away, anyway. She called mom, oh I guess it was a few weeks ago. I just ran into mom at the store the other day. She told me about the call. That Buffy told her she was extending her stay in England. No specific time frame as to when she's coming back. Or _IF_ she's coming back." Faith waves her hand, " ok, I think she's coming back. Just, the when? Real up in the air."

" Faith, there's got to be a mistake. Joyce must've made a mistake."

" No mistake, Red. She told mom she had things to ' work out' yet. I kinda thinking, I'm one of those things."

" That's crazy talk, Faith," Willow says, " Sorry. I mean, she loves you. She's not trying to dump you."

" Mom told her I was living at your place, Willow. She says she recovered quickly, but was rather surprised. I'm thinking mom left out the " upset as hell " part. Maybe."

" Oh," Willow says, then grimaces. " Oh. Not good." She drums her fingers on the table. " Do you think Buffy is really mad enough to leave you though, Faith? "

" With Buffy? God, I haven't a clue. Mom was saying after the first bit of shock, she was all " Well, that's good. She should be there, comforting Willow" Or something like that. On one hand, the girl shoves us together, then on the other, gets all bent when we're together. Or I sense she does. She never says it, but I can like feel it. Or felt it. Oh, I'm just so fucking confused!" Faith lifts her beer and takes a long swallow. " Now, I'm finding , instead of having a friend here, and a girlfriend there, I have a friend leaving, and looking like she's not coming back, and my girlfriend looks like she's not coming back. I think the 900 pound gorilla just punched me in the face."

"Faith, hon, " Willow reaches out to Faith, but Faith scoots away. " It's going to be better with me gone. Buffy' will cool off, and once you tell her that I'm gone, and we were only casual, it didn't mean anything, then… she'll come around."

" Like she came around for Riley?" Faith looks at her, " you forgot you gave me all those memories. She didn't exactly understand when she thought Riley was running around on her…"

" Is that what you think we did? Cheat on her?" Willow looks hurt.

" No, I know it wasn't like that. You know that. But is Buffy going to get that?"

" Buffy was kicking herself about 10 seconds after Riley left. She realized it was her fault, not his. I don't think she's going to be making that mistake again. Not with you."

" She might not see this the same way. This involves her best friend. She might… ahhh, I don't know." Faith looks away.

" Faith, it's going to be ok, I promise you… I'll talk to her, make her understand…"

" I gotta go, " Faith stands up suddenly.

" Faith, wait, " Willow stands up, " don't leave like this. Please."

" No, Red, vampire" Faith points towards the exit. " Gotta go dust him. I'll be back." She hurries away from the table.

_I don't see a vampire,_ Willow looks towards the exit. _Hold on, fake out. Oh no you don't, mister!_ Willow starts towards the exit after Faith.

The vampire has his victim pinned against the wall. She screams.

" Oh , c'mon, baby. Just hold still. It won't hurt a bit." The vampire morphs to his demon form.

" That's really romantic, guy. I know it made me all weak in the knees, " Faith says from behind the vamp. She grabs him, and turning him around, punches him. He falls back a ways.

" Slayer?" The vampire says, wiping his mouth.

" You can go now, " Faith says to the girl, who runs off. She turns just in time to see the vampire sneaking off himself. " Not you, moron." She grabs him and slams him against the wall. "We haven't even had our dance yet, baby." She throws a kick, but the vamp blocks it, scooting out of the way.

" Gee, Slayer, you seem a little distracted," the vampire mocks her, "course, I guess I can get that." He throws a punch, hitting Faith and knocking her back.

"What the hell are you talking about, blood brain?" Faith does a twirling kick, knocking the vampire into the wall.

" You're girlfriend there. Dumping you. Leaving town. Gotta smart, " The vampire blocks her next kick, then tries to grab her. Faith blocks his arm, and knees him in the stomach. " Ooof!" The vampire falls back, " I can see it pissed you off."

" You were listening to our conversation?" She sweep kicks him, but he jumps her leg, throwing a flying kick of his own. She falls back." What are you, a perv too?"

" You're the slayer. I'm a vampire. What you do interests me, you know? So I listened in. Gotta love the vamp hearing"

Faith does a combo kick punch, knocking him up against the wall. She drives her elbow into his chest.

" Gotta say, must be rough, two of 'em dumping you. One by phone yet. That's harsh. Ow!"

Faith punches him in the solar plexus. He staggers a little, then comes back, throwing a kick punch at her. She ducks it, and he goes flying.

" Nobody dumped me moron, get it? Anyway, we're just friends." She kicks him in the ribs. He grabs her foot, and shoves her up, back and off her feet. She lands on her butt. The vampire jumps up.

" Just friends? Really? I don't know. When Red there told you she was leaving, sure looked like you wanted to cry. Vamp sight? Pretty cool too. Anyway, I'm thinking there's more than friendship there. At least on your part." He tries to kick her head, but she grabs his foot and shoves him off… he staggers back and falls. Faith jumps up, and pulls her stake.

" Oh great. Who are you? Dr. Phil for the undead?" She jumps on him, straddling him.

" Look, Slayer, none of my biz, I know. Well, used to be. I was a therapist before I became undead and evil, but hey … did you talk to her about it?"

"Talk about what?" She punches him.

" Like, ow! That hurt!" The vampire pushes her off, and gets up, " Geeze, so angry. Anyway, did you tell her how you feel?"

Faith rushes him, driving him across the alley into the opposite building. She starts punching him.

"How I feel?" Punch. " She's my friend." Punch. " I feel friendly" Punch, punch.

" Uh-huh, " The vampire head butts her, then swing kicks her away. " Well, I think someone's in denial land, myself." He rushes her, and she steps out the way. He goes flying, landing on his face. He pushes up, and faces her. " Truth be told, I think you love her."

" Truth be told, " She mocks him, " I think you're a moron." She does a combo sweep kick, and knocks him against some trash cans. " I think you've been eating way too many diseased idiots. It's gone to your head, Dr. Phil" She kicks him in the chest.

" Really? Then why all the anger? I mean, you're the slayer. You could've finished me off by now" He grabs her leg, and tosses her aside, and stands. " But looks like you're taking your anger out on me. I saw how you looked when she told you. You looked like someone kicked you in the stomach. Ok, maybe, real off chance, that was surprise. But did you react like a friend? No, you got angry, and told her how you felt you were being abandoned. Well, not in so many words, but it was all there in the body language!"

" Body language, my ass," She drives him into the wall, arm across his neck. " Lets see how your body likes this language" She drives the stake into his chest.

" Aw… shi…" He says, before he crumbles to dust.

" Whatta dope," She says, dusting off her hands. She turns and sees Willow standing behind her, staring at her. She almost jumps out of her skin. " Red, what the hell are you doing here?"

" Is it true? What he said?" Willow stands staring at her.

" What? Oh please, you mean the Dr. Phil wannabe?" Faith looks disgusted. " Of course not. He's just trying blow smoke up my ass, distract me. I've heard lame stuff before, but…" She starts to move around Willow, but Willow gets aggressive, driving her back into the wall. " Hey, what the hell?"

" Is it true? What he said?" Willow uses her body to block Faith.

" Red, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I'd suggest you move." Faith tries to duck around her, but Willow moves with her. " I'm warning you. I don't want to hurt you." She tries a feint, then ducking the other way, but Willow doesn't fall for it. She pushes Faith back against the wall, using her arm across Faith's chest.

" You didn't answer me. Is what he said the truth?"

" What do you care?" Faith asks. Willow pushes harder against her chest. " Ok, of course not. It's a fairy tale, ok?" Faith, getting angry, picks up Willow, and moves her to the side, as gently as possible. " So who cares, anyway, right? You're outta here, so what's the deal?" Faith starts to walk away.

" You don't care that I'm leaving?" Willow calls after her.

Faith stops, and half turns around. Her face is set in a smirk. "What's your deal, Red? It was all casual, right? A nice slap and tickle. So what's the third degree about?" She turns, waves her hand dismissively, and starts away.

" Why're you dodging my questions? Why aren't you answering me straight?"

Faith stops dead. For a second, she just stands there, back to Willow. Then she turns, and starts striding towards her, fast. It looks as if she's going to run her over.

" So, you want straight answers, huh, Red?" Faith pushes Red up against the wall, holding her forearm across her neck. " This straight enough for ya? Fine. Ok. Question one. Do I love you? NO! Do I give a crap if you leave town? NO! That clear?" She leans in, her face inches from Willow's " Remember, Red, these were your rules. It's all casual. We're only comforting each other. It doesn't mean jack, and we part friends. No strings, no ties, no heartaches. Remember that?"

" Faith, please… you're hurting me." Willow chokes out.

Faith drops her arm, and backs away. Willow goes to her knees.

" I don't get you, Red. What did you expect me to say? " Hey, babe, lets blow this burg? I'll take you someplace far away. We'll forget everything but you and me. I'll make you so happy, so fucking horny, you'll pee your pants?" That what you want to hear? Faith notices Willow still on her knees. Concerned, she goes over and kneels by her. " You ok?"

"No," Willow moans." You hurt me." She touches her neck.

" Ah, man, Red, I got too rough. I'm sorry…" Faith reaches to help her up. " Let me get you to the doctor, have a look at that."

" No, Dumbass, not there!" Willow growls at her. " Here!" She hits her chest.

Faith looks confused.

Willow hauls herself up, then lashes out, knocking Faith over on her butt. She walks away

" Red, what the hell?" Faith calls out, angrily.

Willow whirls around, red faced. " Fuck you, Faith Lehane! I've seen lots of sides of you but never straight up cruel before." She starts to turn away again, but then is back around facing faith. She marches over, and slaps her face! " No, you don't just get to get away with it, screw that ! God, how can you be so fucking cold?" She stands over Faith, glowering down at her.

" I… I don't get it," Faith says, " This what you said you wanted. Casual, nothing more. Why're you getting so fucking nuclear?"

Willow shakes her head, as if she can't believe it.

" I was wrong before. You ARE stupid! Can't you put one and one together Faith, and come up with two? What do I have to do, spell it out for you? Fine. I will. Why do you think I want to get outta Sunnydale so badly? Why do you think I'm moving so far away? Why do you think I went to my Father, and lied to him, telling him I wasn't gay anymore, so he'd give me money for college? Think that was fun? Lying to him, watching him get all happy and sing praises to God that his daughter came to her senses. Did ya notice, I'm still gay? But I lied, so I could get the money to get away from here. Why do you think that?"

" Because of Tara?"

" EEEHHHHH ! Wrongo, so wrongo it's almost funny. No, it's not Tara, Faith. I still love her, and in some way, always will. But I know she's gone, she's not coming back, and I've accepted that. I've done the moving on. Real recently. Remember? You were there, holding my hand, holding me while I nearly broke apart. No, it's not Tara Faith. Try again."

Faith starts to get up. " I don't want to play this game anymore." Willow shoves her back down. " Hey!"

" I said, try again!"

Faith looks up and almost freaks. She would swear Willow's green eyes are totally black. _Gotta be the light._

" I don't get this, Red. Why're you being so damned angry? What the fuck did I do?"

" I said, TRY AGAIN!" Willow shout at her. She comes over and slaps Faith again, hard. " Quit stalling!"

" Jesus, damn, " Faith touches her reddening cheek." Quit the fuck with the hitting. Fine. I play your stupid game. Is it Buffy? Is that what's got you so pissed off?"

"You're half right, " Willow kneels down. " Buffy's part of it." Willow's voice is calmer. Almost coldly calm. " It's not just Buffy. It's you and Buffy."

" Me and Buffy?" Faith looks at her. " Me and Buffy?"

" Don't you understand? Can't you see? Are you really that blind, Faith?" Willow looks in her face, trying to get beneath the bravado. " You really don't, do you?" She stands up. She wonders if it's even worth saying. _I'll be gone, and she'll move on to Buffy. I'll just be a pleasant memory. Just leave it, just let it go._

She suddenly aware that Faith is standing next to her. She looks up.

" What about Me and Buffy? What does that mean?"

" Faith, just drop it, ok? It's not important. Let it go." Willow starts to walk away.

" No, dammit," Faith gets around her, blocking her. " You don't just start something, and then say, " forget it." What is this about? What about me and Buffy? What's that supposed to mean?"

Willow feels trapped. She looks this way and that, and can't find a way out.

" Don't, please Faith. Just don't"

" Answer me!" Faith growls at her.

" Fine!" Willow loses it. " I'm jealous, ok? I so fucking jealous I … "

" Of me and Buffy?"

" Of Buffy having you! I'm jealous of my best friend, because SHE HAS YOU!"

" What?" Faith steps back, shaking her head. " This… this isn't supposed… to …"

" No, it's not supposed to. It's never supposed to . Well, it did. I know I made the rules, Faith. I know that. I know I said, casual, no strings, it's all good. We're just supposed to get each other through the night. Well, fuck me, I fucked up. I didn't figure I'd fall head over heels in love with you!"

Faith feels like the wind's been knocked out of her. She staggers back and sits down on an overturned trash can. She puts her face in her hands.

" God, is it that awful for you?" Willow looks at her. " It's hell for me. I didn't want this, I didn't expect this. I figured I could just get some touch, be ok, and move on. Find someone who loves me, wants me, needs me. But damn you, Faith Lehane, what have you done to me? I can't stop thinking about you. I feel like a junkie needing her fix when you're not around. God, I've never felt like this before. Even with Tara. That was so different from this. I don't want you, I crave you. The way you hold me, touch me, make me feel so … so… goddamn good. You're kisses light fires in me. And if that isn't bad enough, you do these incredible things to me and for me. Without me even asking, you start coming with me to see Tara. When I'm losing it, because I know I have to let her go, you hold me til the tears stop. You take me dancing, you take me to dinner, you make me the most romantic breakfast , you do so many goddamn things I can't count them. And you do them like they're nothing. But they're something. All of it, every bit of it is something. Something special. And I look at you, and I see you, and I know you want Buffy. Not me, Buffy. And I think about that, you being with her, the both of you so cute and in love and doing couple-y things together, and loving together and eating together and fighting together and I want to just die. Because it's not me. I want to be her so bad right now , to have you look at me the way you look at her…" Willow catches her breath. " You made fun of me back there with the thing about running away. But If you asked me, really asked me that, I'd do it. I'd give up everything I am, everything I know, everything, to be with you. I wouldn't care about anything except being with you. I'd be your slave, anything to be with you." Willow shakes her head. " What does that mean, what kind of person am I? Fuck I don't care, if it's with you!"

She walks away, leaning against the wall. All her passion is drained. She says, quietly, " It doesn't matter, though. Because you don't feel that way about me. You love Buffy, and that's that. So, you see, I can't stay here. I can't watch you and Buffy be together. I can't do it, Faith. I can't die by inches. And that's what would happen. I'd die. I gotta go, I gotta get away from you. Try to forget you. Don't you see? Can't you understand that?"

She waits for an answer. Getting none, she pushes off the wall.

" I guess not." She starts to walk away. She stops. " Look, I can't be near you anymore, ok? I don't want you to come back to my place tonight. Come tomorrow, when I'm at work, get your stuff. Leave the key on the kitchen table. I can't … just don't let me see you." She starts to walk away, and stops when she hears laughter. It's a bitter laugh.

" What? She turns back, eyes brimming with tears. " This is funny? I amuse you? why're you laughing at me." She strides over to Faith, who's still has her face in her hands. " Look at me, damn you! How can you be so cruel to laugh at me?" She stares down at Faith.

When Faith looks up, Willow sees her eyes are wet with tears. Her face is so sad, it breaks Willow's heart.

" What?"

" It's true."

" I … what's true?" Willow looks confused.

" The vampire, what he said? What you asked? It's true." Faith looks forlorn. " It's not supposed to be like this. This isn't supposed to happen. It was all supposed to be casual, no one hurt. Well, guess what? You're not the only one hurting here. When you told me you were leaving, I thought a mule kicked me, it hurt so fucking bad." Faith stands up suddenly, almost ramming into Willow. She walks away from her, up the alley. She stops.

" I'm not like you, Red. Don't got the words to say what I'm feeling. All I know is what I'm feeling, and I hate it and love it at the same time. It's not supposed to be like this. Even a dummy like me knows I'm not supposed to feel like this about you, not when I feel like this about Buffy too." She turns to Willow. " You got it rough, sure, but what about me? I got two women I adore, and I can't have either of them. One wants to run away and leave me, and the other one probably will never come back to me. So, what the fuck do I get? Just twice the pain," Faith kicks a trash can, sending it flying into a wall.

" God, all I wanted was someone to love me. Love me so I could love them. Is that so fucking horrible? And then I fell for Buffy, and I'm hoping she fell for me, and I thought great, this is exactly what I want. And she's got to go nuts on me, right? Ok fuck me that's selfish, but it's what happened. I know she's suffering, but dammit so was I! So I took a little comfort from you thinking hey, what can it hurt? We give each other a happy . At the end, we walk away. Boom. Easy.

" But then you gotta be you, right? Amazing, wonderful, sexy god you make me crazy you! I'm with you, and each time it's like new. I keep peeling layers of you back and damn , there's more there to see. And I know I'm not supposed to, but I fall for you. Because … shit, how do you explain falling in love, for god's sake? I just did, dammit. And I hate it, because I love Buffy, and feel like a creep. And I love it, because … well, there you are!" Faith sits down heavily, as if her knees were cut out from under her. " I can't figure it, I don't know what to do. I only know, it's real, and I'm stuck. I'm in love with both of you. I love you, and I love her. This isn't supposed to happen. It's supposed to be ' get in, get some, and get out.' Damn it, now I don't want to get out! " She sits staring at her hands. " I don't know what to do. I'm so confused, and I'm in so much trouble."

Willow stands looking at her, tears rolling down her cheeks. She walks, she stumbles over to Faith, and sits next to her. She puts an arm around her, and leans her head on her shoulder.

" Not just you, honey, not just you, " Willow says, sounding hopeless.." It's we, we're both in trouble."

They sit there for awhile. Not speaking. Not having to.

"What do we do now?" Faith finally breaks the silence." You're the smart one. What happens now?"

Willow says the words that break both their hearts.

" I have to leave. And you have to let me go."

" I don't want to." Faith feels her heart start to crack.

" I don't want to, either, Faith, " Willow's heart cracks right along. " But you know we have to."

The look at each other, and kiss. It's a soft gentle touch of the lips. Nothing more.

Willow stands up, looking down at Faith. She has a thousand, no, a million things she wants to say to her. But finally, she just says the two cruelest words in the world.

" Goodbye, Faith." Willow says. She turns and walks away.

Faith is silent. She watches her go, until she can't see her anymore. Then she just hauls herself up, and walks.

_Goodbye, Red. _She thinks as she walks into the night.

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 14

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 14

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, Inc, and Fox own the characters that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Television show. Original characters, and the story, belong to the author. If any of this reminds you of anyone living or dead, it's just a coincidence. Deal with it.

1

Heartache does different things to different people.

Some, feeling shame, try to lose themselves. They get lost, try to disappear. If they're lucky, they meets someone who drags them back and sets them back on their path.

Some, feeling hopeless, walk away. They leave the place that gives them pain; the place that breaks their heart. They move on, trying to build a new life for themselves. They try to forget, push it away.

Some, feeling loss, feeling left behind, go within themselves. They seek the thing that makes them strong, makes them what they are, and when they find it, they become it again. Sometimes, the lose more than they gain.

Buffy hit the streets, tried to get lost. She was found, and is working her way back.

Willow walked away. She looks forward, not back, trying to put away the ache.

Faith? She went to war.

Faith stands looking down at the pile of dust that just moments earlier was a vampire. She smiles a tight little smirk.

_So that's what? 4… or 5 tonight?_ She shrugs. _Doesn't matter as long as it's dust._ She's about to leave when she notices something glittering on the ground, half covered by the ash . She stoops and picks up what looks like a collar of some sort.

She turns it around in her hands, noticing the intricate silver design on black, and the blood red rubies . Something looked familiar about it. _Where've I seen this before?_ She turns it around again. It seems so familiar to her. _Damn, I know this._ Finally, figuring that it'll come to her, she puts the collar in her coat pocket, to figure it out. _Maybe I'll show it to Giles. Maybe he'll know what it is._

She looks at the night sky, and notes that while it's not getting light yet, it's getting close to dawn. She looks at her watch. _Yup, nearly 5:40 … and dawn's at 6:05 this morning. No more hunting tonight. All the nice lil vamps will be snuggling in to beddy-bye by now. Guess it's time to get home and get ready for my run._

Faith isn't all that eager to get home now. Since Willow left a couple of months ago, she's radically changed her lifestyle. Pretty much, she's been living at night, sleeping during the day. _Hell, might as well be a vampire. I never see much of daylight these days. _

She's turned back to her slaying to get her through the days… or nights. It's been the only thing that seems simple, uncomplicated, and just plain understandable. _I got stake, they got fangs. We fight, I dust them. Simple. If only the rest made that kind of sense._

Of course, it didn't. Nothing made sense to her these days except the slaying.

When Willow left a week after that night at the Bronze, Faith felt like something broke inside her. Something huge. She'd stood there with Willow; neither wanting to talk, neither having a clue what to say. They were afraid to touch, because that would've been a disaster_. We probably would've done something stupid like cry, then run off to the ladies, and make crazy love til we were both tired and then Red would've missed her plane and then she'd have rebook and we'd go back to her place and make more with the hot and sweaty and then she'd miss the next booking and next and next and then she'd never have left and still be here and we'd be miserable with guilt but … she'd still be here. But we didn't touch._

They just stood there, trying to think of something to say. Trying to say something to make it easier for each other. That didn't work. Then something to make it easier for themselves, and that failed worse. So they stood there, looking and not looking at each other, until her plane was called. And they stood, not wanting to say goodbye, but having to say it. _Then suddenly she was in my arms, hugging me so tight, so tight. Crying, and dammit if I didn't start blubbering too, even though I swore a thousand times I wouldn't . Then we both said I love you. And I heard me say don't leave, please stay. And she cried harder, and said don't make it harder, god I don't want to leave but I gotta leave. And damn I felt like someone just drove a hot poker through my guts. And then ,too soon, way too soon she let go and was gone. Gone._

Faith disappeared for a few days after that. Going on a walkabout, she said, and boom, she was gone. She never said where she went or what she did during that time. When she did return, she was in control. She didn't cry, didn't talk about it. She just started concentrating on her training, and threw herself into slaying.

It wasn't as if she'd neglected her duties before. She'd patrol, but mostly it was single sweeps, and with the population seemingly to be on the down curve, it didn't matter too much how many she bagged. With Willow here, and missing Buffy, and all the other thousand details of life, she wasn't primarily focused on it.

Now she was. This was her life now. Her way to deal. She sleeps days, and hunts at night. No longer the casual sweeps, she often staked out known haunts. She'd track them, following them to nests. And the strange thing was the vamp population seemed to be on the upswing again. She hadn't noticed so many before. Or maybe, she hadn't really been looking that hard.

She knows Giles and Joyce are worried about her. Her change in habits, her focus on vampires, almost to the exclusion of anything else, her withdrawal from them. She didn't consciously withdraw. It's just how could she tell them about what was going on inside? Would they understand? Probably not. Could they help? Definitely not. She had them left, and bringing them too close? Well, she knew how that worked out. Look at Red. Look at Buffy. Too close, now gone.

She stops, mid stride, and looks around. _Oh good, moron. You nearly passed the house! _ She backtracks and walks up the walkway to the Summers house. _Where the hell is your brain, anyway? _ She makes an impatient noise directed at herself as she pulls out her key.

Letting herself in, she hears Joyce speaking to someone in the kitchen. She wanders over, curious, and sees her talking on the phone. _Who's calling at _ she looks at her watch _5:57 a.m. for god's sake?_

Joyce looks up, smiles and speaks into the phone. " She's here, right here. Yes, she just walked in. Wait a second." She calls out to Faith. " Faith, phone." She waves the receiver at her.

_What the fuck?_

" Hello?" Faith says, feeling very confused. _Who the hell would be calling me?_

" Faith?" the soft voice asks on the phone. " Is that you? It's me…"

_BUFFY!_

" Buffy!" Faith asks, suddenly feeling as if her heart has slipped into high gear. " Buffy?"

" That's my name, love. Don't wear it out, 'K?" Buffy teases her.

" Buffy, my god it's been so … how are you? When're you coming home? "

" I'm doing better, Faith," Buffy evades the second question," How're you doing?"

" I'm ok, baby. I… I'm fine. I just miss you so much!"

" Fine? Really? Mom's kind of worried about you." Buffy says, " She seems to think something's wrong."

" Mom worries about everything, Buff. You know that, " Faith does some evading of her own.

" She says you're sleeping all day and going out all night?"

" Well, I've been focusing more on the slaying, you know. The Slayer, my sacred duty, yada, yada, yada."

" Yeah, yeah I remember, remember?" Buffy says, " But this doesn't have anything to do with Willow leaving, then?"

" Willow?" Faith feels a tug at her heart, " She told you about that? I mean her leaving?"

" Well, yeah. I mean, I am Willow's best bud. Well, used to be. You seem to be that lately, " Buffy says, " Of course, that's good, really. Being there for her, about Tara and all. "

_You're lying to me, Buffy Summers. Don't think I can't hear it in your voice!_

" Look, Buffy. Willow's leaving had nothing to do with what I'm doing, ok? Just, now I have more time to really focus on who I am, the Slayer. That's what I'm supposed to do, right?" _Of course, it's ok for me to lie, just a little. Right?_

" Yeah, " Buffy says, sounding doubtful, " but it's not good ….look, Faith, I know you miss me. And don't tell me it didn't hurt a little when Willow left. She's a friend, a good friend, you know? I mean… I understand if you love her a little. Geeze, I love her a little, you know? How can you know Willow and not love her? Look up ' Lovable' in the dictionary, and her picture's right by it. So… I just don't want you being unhappy, honey. If you guys got a little close, that's cool too. It's good if you were there for each other. I know this has been hard on you."

_You don't even have a clue, Buff. Do you? Not really._

" I just miss you honey," Faith says, diverting the topic.

" I miss you too Faith, I really miss you," Buffy sounds plaintive.

"When're you coming home, Buff?" Faith puts it right out there. " You sound good. I miss you. When do I get to see you again?"

There's a silence on the phone. " I don't know, Faith, " Buffy finally speaks up, " I just don't know yet…"

" Buffy, please. I'm dying here without you. Whatever it is, can't we work it out … here, with you here?"

" Faith, don't you think it's killing me … being without you. Not able to see you? Touch you? Feel… oh god I miss you so much it hurts, it hurts bad. But I can't … not right now. Things are right. I haven't…I … don't you see? I can't come back til I've made it right?"

"Make it right? What the hell does that mean?" Faith loses patience." How're you going to ' make it right' from England? That's just crazy talk!"

" Well, I guess that fits," Buffy says, quietly, " me being crazy and all."

" God, I didn't mean that, Buffy. I just mean… I don't get it. Make what right? Please, just tell me."

" What I did. To you, mom, Giles…everyone… I can't… I just can't face you yet…"

"Buffy, god no one hates you or blames you. We love you. Just come home."

" No, I can't Faith. Not until I've made it right. Not until then."

" When?"

" What?"

"When? Give me some kind of idea when, Buffy. A week? A month? A year? 10 years? When?"

" I just don't know, Faith. I'm sorry, I just don't."

There's a silence.

" How long am I supposed to wait, Buffy? Until it's right?"

Another silence.

" Maybe you shouldn't wait. Maybe you should do what you promised, and move on."

" Just like that? Just 'move on' ? Just get over it? Doesn't work that way, Buffy, does it? Oh, you should know that. You've had nearly a year there to even try to get over it, and still I don't have a clue when you'll feel you can come back to me. But no, you don't have a clue, and I'm sitting here like a fool, waiting. And I don't want to stop waiting, because I love you, Buffy. It's not like I can just take you off and toss you in the closet like an old pair of shoes, and forget you. I need you, Buffy. I just want to know when I get to stop hurting here!"

There's a long silence on the other end.

" Maybe, Faith, you should forget about me. Move on… I was hoping you and Will… but… maybe you should just forget about me…"

" What? What's this? You're breaking up with me? Is that what this is? Breaking up with me? On the fucking phone!"

" No! no… god I don't know…I don't know what I'm doing… I can't do this… I can't talk anymore…"

" No…don't you hang up with me. Don't you DARE HANG UP ON ME!"

Click 

" SHIT!" She stares at the receiver in her hand. "Dammit!" She looks up, to see Joyce looking at her, worried. " Oh… sorry mom, really… I didn't mean to… " She hands the phone to Joyce, turns and runs up the stairs.

" Faith… honey…" Joyce hears a door slam upstairs. She sighs. Hanging up the phone, she looks at the coffeepot longingly. Then she starts up the stairs.

_Sometimes, it sucks to be mom._

Buffy hurls the disposable cell phone across the room, hitting the wall. She walks over and stamps on it until it's pieces. " Why, why, why, WHY?" Her voice rises up the scale. " Why don't you just forget me? I'm no good, don't you get that Faith? I'm no damned good. Why don't you just move on? Don't you see I'll just ruin your life, like I've ruined everything else in my life? Why don't you get smart and forget about me! Forget ABOUT ME! "

Buffy kicks the pieces of the phone, scattering them across the floor. She gets down on her hands and knees, picking up the pieces." I'm sorry, god I'm so sorry." She starts to cry as she picks up each piece carefully as if it's precious. " I didn't mean to hurt you anymore, baby. I 'm so bad. Why won't you see that? Why do you keep loving me? I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you. Please, baby… just… please." She stops, kneeling there, crying.

Willow, taking out some trash, hears some noises from the back house. _Mystery girl is at it again!_ She walks to the trash can, and drops the bag in. _Ok, that was just plain mean, Willow._ She looks at the backhouse. _Grandma said she's having a rough time of it. Think you could be a little less catty? I just wish she wouldn't be so… I dunno, I just wish …_ Willow starts towards the backhouse, intending to see if the girl's ok. She stops. _No, grandma said, don't bother her. She doesn't want to be bothered. Why the Garbo, anyway? What's she hiding? Gee, Will, you'd think you wanted to date her or something._ Willow shakes her head, laughing. _I just wish I knew._

Willow stands staring at the guest house for awhile longer, then turns and returns to the main house.

Joyce knocks softly on the shut door. " Faith, hon. Are you ok?"

"Sure, mom. I'm peaches, " Faith says, sarcastically, " Just peaches."

" Do you want to talk about it, Faith?" Joyce asks. _No, no, please no. I'm out of my depth here._

The door opens, and Faith looks out.

"What to talk about, mom? She's doing the famous " No dump-dump". She's trying to get me to break up with her, so she can feel all good about it. ' but she left me, you see.' It's a load mom, ok? Now, we done talking?"

" Faith, do you think perhaps you're being a little hard on her?" Joyce asks, " She's going through a lot right now…"

" Maybe, " Faith interrupts her, " but you know what? Going through a lot myself." Faith starts to close the door.

" Honey, maybe we should talk about it…the whole thing?"

" What're you talking about, Mom?"

" I think this might go beyond just Buffy and you. Maybe include a certain redhead that left town a little while ago…?"

"What're you asking here, Mom? Do I miss Red? Yeah, she was a friend. Good friend. Nice to have to talk to. Is there anything more going on? No."

Joyce switches tacks. " Honey, sometimes when two people get close, things… happen. You know? Not anyone's fault, just does. So, it's possible that maybe…?"

" Mom, I love Buffy. That hasn't changed, " Faith asserts. _Good on the half-truths there, Faithy._

Joyce scans her face.

" I really believe you do, dear, " Joyce thinks about it, " I guess I'm just being mom-ish. Kinda gross, I know, Buffy always tells me that. But… it's just when Willow left, you seem to take to take it so personally… then disappeared for days…"

" I just had things to work out, mom," Faith says. " I know, lot of that going around huh? But really, I'm ok…well, except maybe that Buffy's looking to dump me," Faith sighs.

" Honey, I'm sure she's just going through a difficult patch. Don't give up on her yet."

" Ok, mom," Faith hugs her. " Thanks" _You just don't get it, mom. I just don't get it, mom!_

" You're welcome, dear, " Joyce pats her back, then breaks the hug. She starts away.

" Oh, ummm… mom?"

" Yes, Faith?"

" Being mom-ish? Not gross. Not at all." Faith closes her door.

Joyce walks towards the stairs, smiling.

_Ok, doesn't always suck._

Faith leans against the door. She feels like yet another mule has kicked her.

_Well, what more do I need? God, why not just send the Dump-O-Gram, Buff? Shit!_

Impatiently, she pushes off the door . She starts to undress, getting ready for her run. She throws her jacket away, and hears a clattering sound as something hits the floor. She walks over, and sees the collar she recovered from this evening. She picks it up, and looks at it again.

_Damn, now I know where I've seen this. At the club that night. Willow was wearing one… but it had green stones. Whoa… _Faith twirls the collar in her hand. _Must be from the club… that vamp… maybe lots of them…_

Faith suddenly feels angry. Very angry.

_All this crap. All of it … leads back to that place. That place. Buffy going there, being part of that after she became human… that's what caused all this trouble. That fucking place…_

Faith crushes the collar in her hand.

_Maybe it's time to pay the club a little visit._

2

" … 29…. 30." She grunts, releasing the bar and dropping back to the floor.

Buffy stands under the makeshift pull-up bar she rigged up in the guest house, shaking her head. _Still need to get better. Gotta get better._ She puffs a little, her body covered with sweat. She looks around at the little homemade gym that she's created out of whatever she could find, beg, borrow or otherwise. An old set of weights, a really ratty looking speed bag and punching bag with lots of patches… still, it helped her train. That, and the fact she's taken up running in the mornings are helping her strength and speed.

_Yeah, be nice to have slayer powers back, though. _ She thought as she lay down to do sit ups. _Real nice._

After finishing her sit-ups, she moved over to the speed bag, for agility, and the heavy bag to do some upper body building. Finally, sweating profusely she hit the shower, stripping out of her sweats. She looks at herself critically in the full length mirror, wincing at the scarring, but noting she's beginning to tone a little. _Not enough, dammit, but better._

She hops in the shower, and lets the spray carry away some aches and pains. _Gotta work harder, Buffy. Gotta get buff. You're not going up against fluffy kitties here. God, why can't I find some evil fluffy kitties or cute puppies to go up against? No, I gotta pick the pointy tooth crowd._ She looks over her body at the collection of bruises she's acquired over the last few weeks. _Gotta get faster, Buff. Can't take the blows like you used to. Still, could be worse. _

She closes her eyes and lets the warm spray wash over her. Her mind goes back over the conversation this morning with Faith. Her heart aches over the outcome, how it ended. But hearing her voice again, just felt… so good. It was like a caress, soft and warm, until it went to shit, it gave her a major happy. She just realizes how much, again, she misses that voice, the smile, her eyes… _Oh, those sweet brown eyes… _the way her hair just sort of cascades down her head over her shoulders… _it sometimes is just right, and one of her cute ears peek out… and you just so want to nibble it…ok, this is so not helping…_ Buffy sighs, picking up the sponge and soap, lathering, washing herself. _What's it matter anyway? I can't go back to her. I can't ruin her life again. I got to put her out of my mind… but why did Willow leave? I mean… they must've… forget that one too, Buffy. She left. I don't get that. It doesn't make sense. Right, Buff, like you're the shining example of good sense, right? That's why they put you in the crazy place for 8 months. Because you're the cover girl for Sanity Faire. Maybe you should just do what you got to do, and let Faith figure out who she wants. Stop trying to force something…_

Buffy hops out of the shower, and dries off, again inspecting her body. _Idiot, you're like fooling yourself. First vamp that really fights back? You're toast._ She wraps herself in her towel, and grabbing another, dries her hair. She looks in the mirror and shakes her head. _Who're you fooling? You're hoping you get killed, so you can just be done. So it'll be right again._

Walking in the front room, she quickly dresses in jeans, boots, and pull over turtle neck sweater. All dark colors. She grabs her coat, and slipping into it, goes to a drawer in her makeshift dresser.

Inside are stakes, a large Bowie type knife, a stun gun, and other supplies. She straps the knife on her leg, the stakes and holy water and extra cross she puts in her jacket. She puts the stun gun in an exterior jacket pocket.

At the bottom of the drawer is a small silver cross with a script 'B' engraved on it. She picks it up, carefully hanging it on her neck. The rest she doesn't care if she loses; this is precious.

The last little bit: donning her knit cap and tucking the hair under it. _No reason to give 'em something to grab._

For a moment she stands. Like every night, she's undecided. _Is this what I really want to do?_ She fingers the cross around her neck. _No choice. I've got to._

Sighing, she leaves the guest house, dousing the lights as she goes.

" And she's off," Willow comments as she sees a shadowy form pass by down the unlit driveway.

" You seem to be awfully interested in my tenant, dear, " Rose Weiss says to her granddaughter. " Seems to me you'd want to be finishing that paper rather than staring out the window after her, don't you think?"

Willow sighs, and looks back at her laptop screen. " Well, you've got to admit, Gram, she seems rather to play up the ' mystery boarder' to the hilt. Never see her around, she's gone most of the time… where's she going every night, anyway? And then there's the occasional weird noises from the back at night… sounds like she's screaming…"

" She has nightmares. She told me that, and I told you, after the first time turned me out of bed to call the police."

" She sounded like she was being killed… " Willow adds ominously, " or killing someone."

" You're imagination, " Rose shakes her head, " I swear. We let you read way too many Nancy Drew novels when you were younger…"

" What do you know about her, Gram?" Willow says, " I mean, she could've told you a pack of lies…"

" …and she could've told me the truth, which I suspect is more likely, " Rose's expression is not too happy.

" What?" Willow catches her grandmother's look.

" Why are you so concerned about this girl, Willow. She's hardly a slip of a thing. What's bothering you?"

" Oh, well, I guess worrying about my Gram's safety… that's a bad thing, huh?"

"No, dear, of course not. But look, she's been here two months, and goodness, I'm still alive!" Rose can't help teasing her Willow sometimes. _She's so serious._" Dear, where's all this sudden concern coming from?"

"Well, you told me she was mental…"

" Operative word, _was_… troubled, dear, " Rose says, " but she's been in therapy…"

" Oh, and that means she could never, ever relapse."

" Which is why she's in the back house, dear, and not the main house. I'm old dear, not foolish. She would have a very hard time getting in here without me letting her in…"

" But you've let her in lots of times… and I'm not here to protect you!"

" Yes, like all those years you've been here to protect me up to now…" Rose smiles. " You know this isn't the first tenant I've had like this, dear. What about all of them?"

" Well, I'm here now, and she's here now, and she's so secretive about everything and I don't like it!"

" Hmmm… so this has nothing to do with you not being able to use the back house, then, dear?"

" NO!" Willow protests. " Well, maybe a little, but more I just don't trust her."

" I see," Rose says, " So, has she done something sneaky or underhanded to you, dear?"

" She hasn't done anything! I haven't seen her except her shadow passing in the night, sometimes."

" So… then, if you met her, would that alleviate your fears?"

" Yes! No… maybe, I don't know, " Willow says, pouting a little. " You think I'm being childish, don't you?"

" A little, dear, " Rose comes to her, putting her hands on her shoulders, " but it's nice you're concerned for your frail, doddering grandmother, too." She kisses the top of Willow's hair.

" You're not frail and doddering. But sometimes, maybe a little naïve."

" Indeed?"

" You don't know these people, Gram. They could be dangerous, they could hurt you. You're here by yourself, who'd help you?"

" Of course, dear, you're right. How ever have I managed for the last 67 years without you here to protect me?" Rose says, tongue planted firmly in cheek.

" Sarcasm doesn't suit you, Gram," Willow says petulantly, " I'm only trying to look out for you."

" I know, dear," Rose pats her shoulder," but you have to remember that Gram wasn't exactly born last night. I'm a pretty good judge of character, dear."

" I know Gram, but you also have this humungo heart, and are a sucker for someone in trouble." Willow says, patting Rose's hand. " I just don't want to see you get hurt. Who knows what the what is on this girl."

" Well, I'll tell you what, Willow. I'll invite Anne for dinner, and you can meet her, and give her the once over, and see if you're old Granny is in trouble, ok?"

" Anne?" Willow looks at Rose, " That's her name?"

" Yes, didn't I tell you?" Rose smiles at her. " Silly me. Anne Saunders. I think you'll like her. Sweet girl, a little too hard on herself…sort of like someone else I know…"

" I'm so not hard on myself!" Willow says defensively.

" Oh? So then, after three years of taking care of a friend…"

" Tara was more than a friend, Grams," Willow says quietly.

" Yes, dear. But after three years of devoting yourself to her, with the knowledge that she'd never be herself again, you finally decide to let go… and are still blaming yourself about it." Rose arches a brow." Or maybe that isn't you I hear crying late at night?"

" Gram!" Willow blushes. " I…" _Ah, if she knew ALL the reasons I'm crying…yikes…_

" Mmm-hmmm. Rather like Anne. She blames herself for the things that happened in her life, a lot like, well, you dear." Rose nods her head, " actually, it might be a good thing you two meet. You might be good for each other." She nods again. " Yes, I think so. I'll invite her to dinner one of these nights…"

" Gram," Willow cocks her head, " If I didn't know better, I'd say you're trying to fix me up here."

" Well, Willow, you could do worse than Anne. She's a pretty decent young lady…" She walks over to the sofa, and sits, " Pretty too, if she'd fix herself up a little."

" Gram. Didn't I mention? I'm not gay anymore? That… was just like a college thing. You know, kind of experimenting. Nope, not into that scene anymore."

" I know you told Ira that, dear." Rose smiles," But Grams isn't as easily fooled as your father." Rose stares at her. " I know they wanted to believe that. Rather full of themselves, but then they've always been that way." She sees Willow's expression. " Oh, don't worry Willow. I won't tell your father. He's a bit of a stick. Always has been."

" Gram!"

"Well, he is dear. You're mother too. I don't know where _she_ gets it. Certainly not from me or Hank, " Rose sighs." No, Ira's always been a little full of himself, " Rose smiles with just a hint of wickedness. " However, if he gives you any trouble? Just ask him about a certain College camping trip to the Poconos with some friends, and how he 'accidentally' wound up in his best friend's sleeping bag… which was a entirely different color from his?" She winks. " His best MALE friend."

" Gram! I can't believe…" Willow smiles just a tiny smile. " … really?"

" Just don't let him roll over you dear. He likes to do that, but Ira isn't all that tough." Rose smiles at her. " I don't care what your parents think, dear. You love who you want to."

" Thanks, Gram," Willow comes over and hugs her grandmother, " You're the best, you know."

" Of course I am, dear. I'm glad you're finally realizing that." She enjoys the hug for a moment, then stands up, breaking it. " Now , dear, you better get back to that paper, and I'm going up to bed."

" Aren't you going to wait up to be sure … er… Anne comes home safe?"

" No, dear. She usually doesn't come home til past midnight. Bit late for this old girl, " Rose sees Willow's expression." I stayed up a few nights when she first started going out at night."

" You really do worry about all you're lost puppies, don't you, Gram?"

" Somebody has to. G'night, Willow." She gives her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek. " Don't be up too late."

" Ok. Night, Gram." Willow calls to her retreating back.

Willow sits at her laptop, and begins typing. After awhile, she pauses, looking out the window.

_Well, mystery girl. Looks like we'll meet at last. Wonder if I'll like you? Gram seems to think so. Still… _ Willow shakes her head, _I just don't know. You seem a bit sneaky to me. _ Willow winces. _Remind you of someone, Willow? A certain redhead that would've moved in on her best friend's girlfriend, if she'd half a chance? Ouch. Ok, but I did the right thing, I moved away. Yeah, and if Faith had really insisted you stay? Ok, Ok. Geeze. Maybe I'll give her a chance. Well, isn't that just so big hearted of you! You're a regular Mother Teresa, aren't you?_ Willow sighs.

She types a little more, then realizes she's been typing the same line over and over for the last few minutes:

" You love who you want to."

_Sure, Gram. If only I could._

3

"Burn it down?" Giles repeats Faith's words.

" Yeah, I think that's about the only way to be sure it's really gone."

"Rather extreme, don't you think?"

" Ok, Giles. What's your suggestion? Send them an invitation for blood and cookies, and scold them for being bad little vampires when they show up?"

" I hardly think your sarcasm is appropriate, Faith, " Giles says, sounding a little wounded, " After all I've been fighting the forces of darkness for a lot longer than you. I'm just saying, perhaps you should think it through a little better before going in with a can of petrol and a match."

" What's to 'think about' Giles? Why do you think the vampire population is increasing? Not the Hellmouth. We know that's been inactive for awhile now. Is it the fresh salt air and sunshine? OOOPS! Vampires don't like sunshine, " Faith glares at him," It's that fucking club, Giles, and you know it. Some vampire is using it as a breeding ground. It's trying to build a power base, and frankly, I don't want to sit back and wait for the vampires to get way out of control, again. Maybe I'd like to keep any more innocent people from getting seriously dead."

" And that of course is your only reason for this rather sudden desire to destroy the club?" Giles asks, quietly, " there might not be other reasons? More personal reasons?"

" I personally hate vampires, " Faith mocks," I know that's not PC these days, but I do. Sue me!"

" So, the fact that Buffy tied you up, held you and Willow captive and threatened to turn you; at that club; that has nothing to do with this rather rash action? Nor the fact that you recently received a rather upsetting phone call isn't coloring your judgment?"

" Mom told you about that call?" Faith shakes her head and walks away. " That has nothing to do with it, Giles. This is a problem with vampires. I'm a slayer; I'm supposed to deal with those problems. Sitting on our hands and watching? Not going to help get the problem fixed. Doing something will. This is going to happen. So make a choice. With me or not? I'll do it alone, if I gotta, but it's gonna happen. So choose."

" Faith, I'm on your side. I know something has to be done. I just don't want you rushing in and getting yourself or others hurt. The fire could spread to other buildings around it."

" I'm not an idiot, Giles. I've checked it out. The buildings around it? Deserted. No one to see us go in, no one to get caught in any fire. I'm thinking, we do a daylight raid. No humans inside the club. We strike quick, get in and dump enough gas around to burn it down, and get the hell out." Faith pats his hand. " I'll even let you call 911 and report it once we're away. So, happy?"

" If you want my opinion…" Amy, who's been listening but quiet up to now, interrupts.

Giles and Faith look at her, not particularly wanting it.

"What? I want to help!"

" Amy, I don't think having a civilian along on this raid would be …"

" I can cast a spell. To keep the vampires down." She gets stern looks from the both of them. " Ok, how bout a fireball? Real easy to do, no need for matches." She sighs when she sees them not softening up. " I can help carry gas, ok? I just want to help!"

"Oh let her come Giles. Better that than she gets some idea to do it herself. She just stays outside and out of the way… agreed?" Faith looks at Amy, who nods. " So, Amy, what was your opinion, anyway?"

" Hmmm? Oh, just that Giles should let you do it, seeing how you'll be leaving soon and this might be your only chance and …" Amy ignores Giles' frantic gestures to be quiet.

Faith turns to Giles.

" Going away?" She asks quietly. Hiding the anger building up in her.

"Amy!" Giles looks uncharacteristically upset.

" You haven't told her?" She sees Giles' expression. " I'm going, I'm going" She moves to another part of the shop.

" Haven't told me what?" Faith looks at Giles. She isn't happy.

" The council has decided, " Giles goes into his official watcher voice, " That since, as you pointed out, the Hellmouth in Sunnydale appears to be inactive, the slayer's abilities are being wasted staying here. So, they've decided to move you to a location where you're special gifts can be more effectively put to use."

" Just like that?" Faith looks at him.

" Just like that, " Giles concurs." I'm sorry, Faith, but I…"

" So, what about Buffy? What happens when she comes home, and I'm in oh… Outer Mongolia?" Faith walks away, trying to keep her temper, but feeling it slipping. " What do I do THEN, GILES?" This last is punctuated by her knocking something off a table, causing it to break. " What THEN?"

" I'm sorry, Faith, but you're the slayer, " Giles hides behind his officiousness to cover the pain he's feeling with her hurt, " you must have been aware that with the Hellmouth ceasing to be active, you would be re-assigned to somewhere you'd be more useful. "

" I suppose you'll be coming with?" Faith looks at him. When he doesn't immediately respond, she asks him again. " Giles, you'll be going with me, right?"

" No, Faith. You'll be reassigned to another watcher. One … let me see…" he opens the secret drawer behind the counter and pulls out a letter"… Helen Stone… she will be your new watcher."

"And, if I don't want this?" Faith asks very quietly.

" Faith, you're the slayer. You don't have…"

" A choice. Right, got it. You guys got me by the short hairs. You can always send me back to prison. I mean you got me out, surely they have a way to slam me back in. Maybe they can get it right this time, get me dead so they can have a new, improved slayer that isn't so much trouble. " Faith loses her temper, kicking over the table. " Fuck me, why'd this ever have to happen to me?" She looks at the heap on the floor. " All I wanted…"

"Faith," Giles comes over, trying to reach out to her.

" Don't" She puts up a hand. " I'm the Slayer. I get it. I'm just a tool in the war. Got it." She walks around the pile of merchandise on the floor, aiming for the door. " Let's just get this done, so I can pound sand somewhere else, ok?" She looks back at Giles. " You might want to clean that up." She walks to the door, and stops. " Tomorrow." She says.

" Tomorrow?" Giles asks, looking at the pile.

" We do this tomorrow. Get the stuff together. You can do that, right? I'm going home to bed." She walks out.

Giles uprights the table Faith kicked over, and starts putting the merchandise back on it. He stops, and looks out the glass front of his shop.

_Some days, I really hate this job._

4

Buffy hears a scream coming from the alley up ahead.

_There's my cue, _She thinks, as she takes off running. She gets down the alley and realizes that there are two of them attacking. _Great, which one first?_

She heads for the bigger of the two, pulling the stun gun and hitting him in the back. She kicks out, kicking the smaller vamp in the side, causing him to stagger back.

The first one starts wiggling like a fish on a hook. She quickly stakes him, but is blindsided by the second vampire. She goes flying into the wall. She hits hard, and slips down, stunned.

" Who the hell are you?" The second vamp walks over to her, kicking at her. The victim, seeing an opening, runs for her life. "Ah, crap, you made me lose my meal. Guess I'll have to settle for a snack." He jumps on her, leaning over to bite.

Buffy recovers enough to bring the stun gun up to his neck. He jerks backwards, and Buffy brings up her knee, hitting him in the gut. She rolls to the left, and gets on her feet. She applies another hit to him, and watches as he starts to jerk around.

" Who am I?" She says, kicking him in the ribs. He fall over on his side, still twitching from the jolt." Bad news for you." She pushes him over, and brings the stake down on his chest. Dust.

She brushes herself off, and groans a little from the hit she took. She carefully checks herself, and finds nothing permanently damaged. _Just bruises. That's going to smart tomorrow. _She looks around and sees the victim has taken off.

" Gee, what?" she says softly. " No thanks?"

She starts down the alley, already feeling a little pain from her contact with the wall. She hits the street, and turns right, looking for the next vampire.

_I gotta get an easier night job._

5

Willow sits looking out at the night.

She can't sleep. Sleeping is a luxury these days. _Thank god for No Doze and caffeine. Otherwise, I'd probably be snoozing in my classes. If I don't start getting with it, getting my masters is going to take forever._

She's all right when she's with other people. Pretty much, anyway. She forces herself to concentrate on what's happening around her. Studying too. She usually does ok studying. Pretty much. Except when she gets to one of those sentences that she reads over 5 times, because her mind has wandered off somewhere. Somewhere west. Somewhere brunette.

_Why can't I stop thinking about her?_ Willow sighs, looking out the window at the night. _This is so much worse than I thought it'd be, and I was expecting pure hell. I can't keep this up. I've got to face it; I've got to let her go. But I can't. She won't let me. It's like she's in my blood. I'm so gonna mess this up. I'm going to flunk out, and everybody's going to wanna know why… and what can I tell them? I'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend, and no matter how I try I can't stop it? I can't forget her? I lay in bed at night, and my mind goes 1000 miles a second, all about her? I think about every damn minute we were together but not together? That I see her face everywhere? That I've made a fool out of myself how many times because I'll see a woman I think is her. I know it's not her, she's in Sunnydale, but I can't help it. I think it's her, and then it's not her, and I want to cry!_

Willow feels the tears coming, and she bites on her hand, so her grandmother won't hear her again. _God, that was so embarrassing. Thank god she only thought it was for Tara. Oh, God Tara. I'm so fucking bad. How can I be such a slut to … damn me, I'm not doing anything right. I shouldn't have listened. I should've just gone on with Tara. Then I'd be unhappy, but not miserable. I could deal. Sometimes it was killer, but God, not like this. Shit! I deserve this. I should feel this rotten. I'm a slut. What about Buffy? Think it's a good thing to want her to just disappear, so I can have her girlfriend? Oh, I'm just so sweet and pure. My ass! I'm nothing but… damn…_

_I've got to stop this. I've got to get myself together. I can't keep this up. I've got to be stronger. But I can't… I just can't. God, every day I just want to take a plane back, get on my knees. Grovel in front of her, beg her to take me back. Use me, hurt me , ignore me, but let me be there with you. NO! This is so wrong on so many levels. I'm not a dog, and she wouldn't do that. No, she'd make me feel special… again. God, I want to feel special again. I want her to look at me with that look she had at the airport. God, I'm so bad. I'm so bad! I thought being away, getting away, it'd get better. It's only worse, God, it only gets worse._

_STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP! Get a hold of yourself. You can't do this. You've no right to feel sorry for yourself. You did this to yourself. You knew, you knew this could happen, and you ignored it. Pretended to yourself that you wouldn't be stupid. Oh, no, you're too smart to fall in love with her. Too damned smart. You'd just warm yourself in the fire, not fall in and get consumed. DAMN STOP IT! Pull yourself together. Stop being a child and grow up. Whatever happened, it's over, and get on with your life. Stop this. Stop doing this!_

Willow hears a noise, or something makes her look out the window. She sees the shadowy form of her grandmother's tenant.

_Who are you, Anne? What's your life been like? My grandmother says you're carrying this big load of guilt. What'd you do, Anne? Who'd you hurt? Who'd you … God, is she limping?_ Willow notices that Anne seems to be favoring her right leg. She stops for a moment, rubbing her leg. _What is it, Anne? What drives you out every night? What demons are you fighting?_ Anne starts off again, towards the backhouse. _Can I help you Anne? Do you really want any help? Maybe if I can help you, what I'm feeling won't hurt so much. Can I be you for awhile, and you can be me, ok? Maybe you can deal with my stuff better, and I can deal with your stuff. What do you think?_

She watches as Anne disappears into the back house. Sighing, she gets up, going to the bed to lay down. Staring at the ceiling, she knows she's in for another long night.

_Maybe not. _

To be continued


	16. Chapter 15

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 15

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, Inc, and Fox own the characters that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Television show. Original characters, and the story, belong to the author. Any resemblance to any people living or dead is coincidental. That means, it's an accident. Ooops!

1

" I don't know about this," Faith looks skeptical.

Giles, Amy and Faith are at the entrance door to the club. Sitting near the door are two 5-gallon cans of gasoline. Giles and Amy are right by the door, Amy starting to mutter a spell under her breath.

" I don't see why you don't let me just bust the lock open," Faith says, looking at them from just a little bit back." It'd be faster."

" And noisier, " Giles says, " We have no idea what we're walking into. I'd prefer not to send out a klaxon call telling them we're here."

" Don't worry, Faith. This is an easy spell," Amy says, completing the incantation. " Open," she says, as she touches the knob.

A small click is heard, as if a bolt is thrown. Then Giles tries the door. It's open.

"See? Told you!" Amy smiles. She reaches in her purse, and pulls out two scrolls wrapped in red ribbon tied onto leather strings. She hands one to each of them.

Faith arches a brow, looking at the scroll. " Ok, what's this?"

" Protection charm. Wear it on your neck. It'll protect you from bad mojo and evil energy." She pulls hers out to show the others. " See?"

" Uh-huh, " Faith looks at the charm dubiously. " Ok, Glinda. We're not going against the Wicked Witch of the West. Thanks but no thanks." She hands it back to Amy.

Giles however, puts his on. " Thank you, Amy, " He catches Faith's look. " We're not all slayers here, Faith."

" Please Faith. I mean, what harm is there in wearing it, right?" Amy says. " It might help, right?"

" It's…" She stops, seeing Amy's face. _Aw, what the fuck. _" Ok, Amy, thanks." She ties it around her neck. " Great, now I feel like Lassie." She turns to Giles. " You got the crossbows?"

Giles hands her one, keeping one for himself.

" Don't I get one?" Amy asks. " I mean, for protection?"

Giles and Faith look at each other.

" No! Here, " Faith reaches in her jacket, and pulls out a bottle of holy water. " _IF_ they come at you, throw it at 'em" She turns to Giles. " Ok, you ready? You know what to do?"

Giles nods.

" Tell me," Faith insists.

" We go in, we pour the petrol. We make a trail back to the door. We light it, we run. If any vamps come at us, shoot them." Giles looks a bit annoyed. "I think I can remember that…after repeating it ten times or so."

" Good. Let's do it."

"Faith, what if there are humans inside?" Giles asks.

" We went over this, Giles. Not likely anything living in there. Any humans are dead bodies, or being turned. Sorry, not stopping to try to drag out bodies."

" How can you be sure of that?" Giles insists.

" I can't, Ok? But anything in that club during the day? EVIL, Giles. Now, if you want, you can go in there and get killed trying to save idiots that want to be there. Fine. If you're getting squeamish, stay out here with Amy, and I'll do it myself. But don't get in my way." She glares at him. " Well?"

Giles sighs. " All right, very well. " He grabs a can of gasoline. " Let's just get this over with."

" That's the idea," Faith says, grabbing a can.

They move carefully down the entryway to the club Gallery. At first it seemed like they weren't going to meet any resistance.

" See? You were getting all nervy for nothing, Giles. No one's here."

" I don't know. I wouldn't call us no one," The vampire who seemed to float out of the shadows said. " What do say guys? We no one?" About 4 more vamps emerged from the shadows.

" So, what? They like take out?" One of them says, " don't remember ordering…oh…shit…" He crumbles to dust when the crossbow bolt hits him.

" Uh… get 'em" the first vampire shouts.

Which was the last thing he says, because another bolt from Giles' crossbow dusted him

" Nice, G, " Faith says, doing a twirl kick and knocking back one of the remaining vamps. She brings up an arm, stake in hand when one of the others grabs her arm, swinging her around. " What're doin' bitch? This is our club!" He hits her.

"Whoa. Now, that was just rude. No introductions, even. I'm Faith, " Faith does a kick-punch combo on the vamp, " and you're… ?" She brings the stake around, hitting him the heart. He crumbles to dust. " Well, gee, still rude."

The two remaining vamps converge on her. Giles hits one with a crossbow bolt in the shoulder. " Missed, Pops," He says. Then he looks down at the second bolt in his chest. " Whoa…dam…".

Faith in the meantime grabs the last vamp, and tosses him over her shoulder and on his back. She stakes him quickly.

" Did you see that?" Giles is all smiles. He comes over to Faith. " I got three of them!"

" Ya sure did, Giles. But…ummm…how 'bout those guys?" She points behind him.

He turns, and sees 4 more vamps approaching. " Damn."

Faith tears into the crowd of vamps while Giles reloads. She does a cross sweep kick, knocking back two. She looks down and sees the can of gas. She grabs it quickly, and pulling out the plug, soaks the other two with some gas. They back away, and she puts the gas down. She pulls out her lighter. " You know, the one thing I hated giving up smoking? Never getting to use my Zippo again. " She flicks it, and tosses it to one of the gas soaked vamps. " Here ya go. You boy's don't have to worry about the big C."

The flame catches the fumes rising off the two, and they become torches. They turn in panic, and run into the two behind them, setting their clothes on fire. The first two go crumble to dust. The other two run in a panic towards Faith, who just gets out of their way. They turn to dust before they can reach the door.

" They just get stupider, and stupider." She chuckles. She turns to Giles. " Well? C'mon guy, lets do this."

Giles come over to Faith, and she hands him a gas can. " You splash up the Gallery. I'm going down to get the main club." She starts towards the stairs. " When you're done, get outta here, got it?"

" What about you?"

" If I'm not out in 10, light it up." Faith says simply.

" Faith!"

" Not an option. If I'm not out in ten, I'm probably dead. So, just do it. I really don't need an argument. Go!" Faith, can in hand, trots down the stairs.

Giles starts to walk around the Gallery, splashing gas as he goes. He makes the circle, and returns to the stairs.

" Faith, are you almost finished?" He calls down. She doesn't answer. " FAITH!" He yells louder.

"Don't be such a granny, Giles. I'm just spreading the love down here. Get by the door. Don't want to wait to torch this place!" Faith calls up.

Giles, somewhat relieved, retreats to the entrance.

Downstairs, Faith splashes gas around, over the bar, on the dance floor, on some of the tables. Getting close to the end, she starts to pour a trail from below up the stairs. She gets about halfway up the stairs when something hits her hard in the back. She takes a tumble down the stairs, but manages to flip and land on her feet… then go down when she hits a puddle.

"What the fuck?" She looks up the stairs.

Linda, with the frizzy red hair, is looking down her. She's frowning , her hands on her hips.

" What the hell do you think you're doing to my club?"

" I dunno. Thought it kinda was stinky. So, I brought in some air freshener, you know?" Faith grins.

Suddenly, Linda's eyes go wide. " YOU!" She leaps off the stairs, landing close to Faith. She grabs Faith by the hair." You BITCH!"

She throws Faith against the bar. Faith bounces off, and groans. " Gee, baby, what's your deal?" She shakes it off. " Getting kinda cranky, aren't ya?" She runs at Linda, delivering a kick to her stomach. Linda falls back, and Faith just falls. She hit more gas. " Damn, this really sucks." She pushes off the floor.

Immediately, Linda is on her, punching, slapping and clawing at her.

" You fucking bitch. You ruined everything. She wanted to make you a god, and you … you stole her! You took her away from us… from ME!" She starts punching Faith.

" SHIT!" Faith yells. She grabs Linda, and hurls her off her. She slips slides her way back to her feet. " You crazy vamp. What the hell are you talking about?"

" Buffy, you whore!" Linda screams at her. She runs at Faith, who dodges her. " You took her from me. My queen. My mistress. What did you do to her? Where is she? I'm gonna kill you, you … " She grabs Faith by the arm, and tosses her into some tables. " I'm gonna rip your throat out and bathe in your blood!"

Faith gets up, and is chuckling. She grabs a table, and hurls it at Linda, hitting her square on. She's driven back into the bar.

" You crazy fucking blood brain," Faith laughs at her. " God, with toadies like you, no wonder B wanted to get her ass outta here. Take a whiff, moron, " Faith starts for the stairs. " That's Eau d' Texaco you smelling. In a minute, this place is gonna be a fireball, and you're getting all bent because I 'stole' your girlfriend." Faith starts running up the stairs.

But Linda leaps at her, smashing her into the steps. " You're gonna die. No! Better, I'm gonna turn you , and make you my bitch" Linda vamps out. She grabs Faith by the hair, and pulls her head back, exposing her neck. She goes for the bite.

And meets Faith's fist nose on. Faith scrambles up, and kicks her down the stairs. Without looking, she turns and runs up the remaining stairs.

" Light it up, Giles. Light the fucking thing up!" She gets a couple of more steps.

Linda appears at the top of the stairs behind her, vamped out. She throws herself at Faith, knocking her down. The two of them roll on the floor, fighting.

Giles hesitates, seeing Faith down and fighting. He grabs up his crossbow, and tries to aim it at the red headed vampire. He fires, and misses, nearly hitting Faith.

" DAMMIT , GILES, You nearly hit ME with that!" Faith yells at him. She manages to throw Linda off her, kicking her as she goes. She scrambles up, and runs for the exit. " LIGHT IT THE FUCK UP NOW!"

Giles takes a match, and drops it on the trail of gas he laid down. It catches and burns.

Linda in the meantime , manages to grab the railing. She rights herself, and starts after Faith.

Starts, but never gets there. The trail of fire hits her, and with the gasoline on her, she starts to burn. She screams.

Faith is running towards the exit, and suddenly smells burning flesh… _Oh… SHIT! _

She bursts out of the club, her clothing on fire. Giles thinking quickly knocks her down and using his coat, manages to put out the fire burning her.

" FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" Faith cries out, rolling on the ground. " Am I burning? SHIT!"

She stops when she realizes she's out… and not burnt. " What the…?" She inspects herself. " I'm not burning up? I swore I smelled myself burning."

" The vampire torched, Faith, " Giles says, coming to her. " I think that's… oh dear."

" Oh dear? What's with the ' oh , dear' ? What's wrong?"

" Faith… you're hair… " Giles says, backing away.

" My …" She touches her hair, and then reaches around back…and realizes that it's hot and smoky. Worse, her long locks in back have burned up to her collar. " DAMN!"

Amy approaches her, taking a look. " It's … ummm… not that bad. I'm pretty sure it can be… fixed."

Faith looks distressed. " How bad? How short?"

Amy hesitates. " Well… it's kind of at the collar." She winces.

" DAMN!" Faith shouts. " It took me forever to get it just right… now it's…" She reaches around and touches it. " Shit!"

" There, there," Amy rubs her back, " It'll be fine.. with the right cut? Perfect!"

" No it won't, it'll look dorky!"

" Faith, you're lucky to be alive. You nearly burned up. And you're mourning over some hair?"

Faith and Amy both glare at him. He backs off.

They look at each other, and shrug.

" Men, they just don't get it, " Amy says, taking Faith by the arm. " Don't worry; I've got this great stylist! She can fix that, no prob!"

" I dunno, " Faith says, as the two of them start down the alley. " I like it long. Kind of frames the face right, you know?"

" You got a great face, Faith. God, I have such trouble with mine. Always too angular, you know? Hard to get my hair to look right with it. But , cut yours right… maybe leave it longer in front? Still get the same effect. Don't worry, Sami's a genius. She can do anything with a head of hair!"

" Really? It won't look dorky?" Faith sounds worried.

" Trust me, you'll love it!"

" So, what do you think? I was thinking, getting some highlights?"

" Naw, your hair's got great tone… I wouldn't…"

Giles brings up the rear. He collects up what he can of the supplies he brought along. His face is completely puzzled.

_I wonder if I'll ever understand the female sense of priorities?_ He turns, trudging towards his car.

_I seriously doubt it._

2

Buffy looks at herself in the mirror, a small grimace on her face. She turns this way, then that, then frowns. _Why am I doing this again?_

She turns again, looking over her shoulder at her back . _Well, at least it isn't too low cut. Won't show much of the scarring._ She sighs, wondering if she's really wanting to do this. _Want or not, I gotta. _

It seems like forever since she's worn a dress. Not since before… _Ok, let's NOT think about that._ She didn't even have a dress until she picked this one up at a discount store down by where she worked. The single dress she had with her had been ruined.

She looks at the dress critically. It's a simple white dress with a floral print to it. It has spaghetti straps and a slight scoop to the neckline. She adjusts herself so she'll fit the bodice better. _Still, it looks… oh well, it'll do._ She shrugs. _I don't even know why I gotta dress up. I mean, what's the big? Never dressed for dinner before. Not here, anyway. Why the sudden 'let's be pretty' party? Well…_ she turns again … _that's not gonna be an issue here. I really look sucky in this._ She sighs, walking away from the mirror.

All this was weird anyway. Rose just showed up at her door a couple of days back.

Buffy had been working out, just finishing with the punching back when a knock came at her door.

_Damn, what? I thought we agreed. I respect her privacy, she respects mine. Oh chill, Buffy. She's been really nice to you. I think you can be nice back, don't you?_

Buffy comes to the door, wearing sweats and a wife beater; with her wrists taped.

" Hey, Mrs. Weiss. What can I do you for?" Buffy asks. She blocks the doorway.

" May I come in, Anne? I'd like to talk to you, " Rose says.

_Uh-oh, what'd I do?_

" Uh… sure, " Buffy moves back. _She's gonna have a Guernsey when she sees this place,_ Buffy groans internally.

Rose walks into the room, and indeed, she's taken by surprise. But she recovers quickly, and finds a chair that doesn't have a pile of stuff on it. She looks around, seeing the weights and boxing equipment, and the chin up bar.

" Well, hmmm… made yourself comfy, I see," Rose is still trying to figure it out. " So, should I call you Anne or Rocky?"

" Huh?"

Rose waves around at the equipment.

" Oh," Buffy says, quietly. " Ummm… I can get rid of it… "

" No honey, it's ok. Just, never figured you for a flyweight."

" I'm sorry?"

" Boxer, dear. You don't look… well, frankly, I just don't see it. You, in the ring boxing…?"

" No, no… no boxing, " Buffy waves her taped hand. " it's just to keep me fit." _Maybe keep me from getting totally creamed on patrol…_

" Fit? I see…" Rose didn't but decided her reticent tenant wasn't going to be forthcoming. " Actually I do have a reason to be here, other than snoop, of course, " She smiles.

" Mrs. Weiss, honestly, I meant to get the lawn last week. But the mower broke down…"

" Hmmm? No, dear that's not it. Though I'm glad you told me. I'll see it gets fixed." Rose hesitates, realizing how much Buffy doesn't like being around people. " I wanted to ask you to do me a favor."

Buffy pauses. Rose asking for a favor could go either way. Good, as in finishing left-overs( which strangely seem to be freshly made) or, on the other hand, about something Buffy really doesn't want to do… like cleaning the rain gutters or writing home, or some such. _But, really, can I say no? I owe her… well, everything._

" Uh… sure, Mrs. Weiss," Buffy replies, smiling a small smile.

" Well, first, I suppose if I ask you yet again, you wouldn't call me Rose? Every time you call me Mrs. Weiss, I keep looking around for my mother-in-law… God rest her soul."

" Uh… ok, I'll try. Rose." Buffy smiles ruefully, " it's just, I wasn't taught that way. Supposed to use surnames on well… older people?" Buffy doesn't want to insult, either.

" Don't worry, dear. I know I'm older. My mirror reminds me every day," Rose chuckles," No, it's just… well, we're sort of friends now. I mean, do you want me to call you Ms. Saunders?"

" Of course not, that'd be silly…" Buffy gets a little pink. " I see. Got it. Ok, Rose, it is."

" Thank you, dear."

" But that's that not the favor, is it?" Buffy asks, hoping it might be.

" No, dear. I was wondering, are you busy say… this Sunday?"

" No," Buffy thinks quickly. _Ok, can't be church. She goes to temple on Saturday… and not into conversion… so…Sunday… what does she do Sunday? Maybe it's safe, then? Unless… she's been looking at the shutters. Maybe she wants me to paint them? I suck at painting._

" I should tell you, I suck at painting." Buffy says out loud.

" I'm sorry?" Rose asks, confused." Painting?"

" Well, I noticed you noticing the shutters, and I thought…"

" No… no dear, not about the shutters. Actually, was thinking of getting locks installed on them. No, nothing like that, dear."

" Ah, ok, then," Buffy says relieved.

" Actually, if you're not busy, I'd appreciate it if you'd have dinner with me on Sunday."

" Aw, well… gee, Mrs. … Rose… see, I thought we agreed we…well… I'm not trying to be rude here, but you know, I like my…"

" Yes, Anne, I know. You like you're privacy. I understand. But do you think you could make an exception? This once?"

_She's good. Real good. I should get mom with her… they'd be the guilt twins._

" Ok, I'm being like totally selfish here, right?" Buffy admit. " Sure, Rose, it'd be a pleasure." She smiles brightly.

" Oh, good, " Rose returns the smile, "It'll be nice to have you at the table again. I do so enjoy that you enjoy my cooking so much. Gives the old lady a nice feeling to be appreciated."

" I really do appreciate everything you've done for me, Mrs. … Rose. I hope you know that?"

" Yes, dear, I know. I really wasn't fishing there … well, maybe a little," Rose hesitates. " But I have to admit, there's a catch. About dinner, I mean."

_Oh, boy._

" Catch?" Buffy asks, all innocence, wondering if she can suddenly find a way out of this.

" Two actually," Rose says, quietly. " First, well , my granddaughter is visiting me, and I love her to death, but she's got this idea in mind that you're possibly the next female Ted Bundy in training, so actually this dinner is show you off, let her know you're normal, not an axe murderer or anything…" She trails off and looks around the room.

" Don't worry, not doing a Travis Bickle, honest," Buffy says." Honestly."

" I'm sorry?" Rose looks at her.

" From ' Taxi Driver' … you know, the nutty taxi driver that starts pumping up and goes vigilante."

" Oh!" Rose says. " I wasn't worried." _Much._" Anyway, I guess that leads to my next request. It'd help if maybe you'd dress up a little bit for dinner. You know, I mean I'm ok with the jeans…" Rose hesitates, " But I'd prefer my granddaughter saw you in a dress. It'd put her at ease… and maybe she'd stop nagging me about you."

Buffy makes a face. " I'll wear my good jeans… the ones with no holes and not faded to white, but …" She shrugs. " Don't really have anything else."

" No dresses at all?" Rose looks at her. " Really?"

" Not much use for dresses living on the street… or in the nuthouse…"

" I really wish you wouldn't use that term, Anne. You were just troubled."

" I was a fruit loop, Mrs. … Rose, " Buffy smiles. " Not now, honest. But…ok… in the place where they pad the walls… better?"

"Not really… lets go on… ok, no dress. None?"

Buffy shakes her head sadly. " Guess I'll just have to skip dinner, " Buffy says, feeling a little relief. _Not really feeling like meeting the fam, anyway._

" I sort of suspected that, never seeing you wear one, " Rose sighs. " But this is really important to me." She takes her purse, and opens it. She takes out some twenties." You take this, honey, and get something…"

Buffy stands up, backing away." No, I can't do that!" She says firmly." You've done enough for me already."

" But dear, with you paying me rent and all, I know you don't have much left over…"

" I've been saving… was going to get something else…_A crossbow, but I can't exactly tell her that…_ I'm sure I have enough to get a dress…"

" No, dear. I insist," Rose says firmly, pressing the bills firmly in her hand. " I mean, you're doing this as a favor to me." She looks at Buffy. " Is that enough?"

Buffy counts out 6 twenty dollar bills. " Whew. Too much." She presses four back on Rose. " I'm sure I can get something decent for this." She looks at the money again." Two somethings if I shop carefully."

" Now, don't be silly, Anne, " Rose looks a little perturbed." A girl needs more than a dress. Shoes, nylons, a few other things… and wouldn't hurt if you picked up some make-up. Not saying you're not pretty dear, but … be nicer with a little lipstick and eye shadow…" She gives Buffy the money back." Maybe get your hair done?"

" I really can't…"

" Don't be silly, girl. You're doing me a favor. Anyway, I'd rather like to see you fixed up a little. You're such a pretty little thing. Shame to hide it under jeans and loose sweaters all the time. "

Buffy blushes. " Thank you," She says quietly. " Ummm…what time Sunday?"

" 5 p.m. sharp. Don't be late. We're having roast, and I hate to eat it cold."

" I'll be there," Buffy promises.

She looks at herself in the mirror again, sighing. " Well, it'll do. I just didn't want to spend a fortune," Buffy mutters. She looks again, and shrugs." It's not so bad, really."

She walks to her dresser, pulling out the money she has left over. She plans on leaving it at the house, somewhere.

She walks over, and hikes up her dress, pulling on a pair of thigh highs. She slips into some inexpensive flat sandals. She walks over and looks one more time in the mirror. Grabbing her brush, she gives her hair a couple of strokes. She checks her makeup.

_Well, hi. Long time no see, _She thinks to herself. _I just hope her granddaughter isn't too much of a biotch. Oh well, it's only a couple of hours. Be on your best behavior, Buffy. Lay on the charm. Ok, lets do this._

Buffy does one final check, nods, then walks to the door of the backhouse and exits.

3

Willow stands in the living room, addressing her grandmother, in the kitchen. She looks down at the skirt and blouse she's wearing. _So not what I wanted to wear today._

" Why're we getting all dressed up again, Gram?" Willow says, tugging on her skirt.

" We're having company for dinner, dear. It's rather expected to be a bit more dressy when having company, " Rose says, walking into the dining room. She's wearing a blue dress, currently covered by an apron, low heels and pearls. She looks up and smiles. " You look very nice, Willow."

" But it's just Anne. Sheesh. She'll probably come over in a pair of jeans and t-shirt."

" Now, that's unfair, Willow. And just a little catty, dear. I do expect you'll be on better manners when she's actually here!" Rose sets down the roast. " I know for a fact that she'll be dressed up, so let's not be judgmental, shall we?"

" I'm sorry, Gram." Willow blushes. " When is she getting here, anyway?" _Not that she's coming any great distance._

" Soon… I told her 5 p.m."

" It's almost that now," Willow says, just as the front doorbell rings. " Well, I guess that must be her now."

Rose comes in from the dining room." I'll get that, Willow. Would you get the vegetables, please?"

" But I'm right here, Gram," Willow says, almost to the door.

" Yes, and you'll probably scare her off. Just do as I ask, please?"

Willow sighs," Ok, Gram, " She retreats from the door towards the kitchen. _God, this is silly. I'm not going to bite her._

Rose answers the door, and smiles.

" Hello, Anne. You look lovely, dear," She nods approvingly. She moves back. " Please come in."

" This old thing?" Buffy teases her, " I just threw it on." She smiles at Rose. " So, do you think she'll be convinced I'm not carrying a chainsaw in my purse?" She says sotto voce to Rose.

Rose chuckles." I'm sure she'll see you as I do, a decent young lady. Are you ready?"

" Are you kidding? I'll be ready in about a decade or so…"

Rose shakes her head in sympathy. " Don't worry, she won't bite."

Buffy sighs. " Ok, let's do this."

Rose walks further into the living room. " Willow honey, come on out and greet our guest."

Buffy suddenly gets a cold chill in her chest. _Willow? No, it couldn't be. It's just a coincidence._

Willow enters the living room, smiling broadly. _I'll show Gram I'm the better one here._

" Hello, you must be the infamous Anne I've heard…" the words die in her mouth, as she stands still in shock, her mouth open

_Buffy? BUFFY? BUFFY!_

" BUFFEEE!" Willow almost screams, running at her. She grabs Buffy into a huge hug.

_Oh, no! No! No! NO! This isn't happening, this can't be happening._

Willow pushes her away. "Wait a minute, Buffy. What're you doing here?"

Buffy backs towards the front door. She has a frightened shocked look on her face.

" I'm confused," Rose looks at Willow, then at Buffy. " You know each other? You know Anne?"

" I… I can't… I'm sorry, I can't do this!" She turns, and runs out the front door.

" Anne?" Willow looks at her grandmother." That's not 'Anne', that's Buffy!"

" Buffy. Where've I heard that name…wait, you don't mean the Buffy you used to talk about all the time. THAT Buffy?"

" Yes… Buffy Summers…" Willow stops. Something clicks in her brain. Then another thing, and another. " That… that's Anne? Anne Saunders?" Willow hits her forehead. " God, why didn't I see it?"

" I best retrieve her. She seemed… startled."

" No, Gram. I'll get her, " Willow smiles. It's a fixed smile.

" I don't understand… why would your friend tell me she's…"

" Anne's her middle name, Gram. Wait here. I'll take care of this."

Before her grandmother can say anything else, Willow is out the door after Buffy.

Rose moves to the front door, and watches as Willow rounds the corner of the house.

_What was that all about, anyway?_

_And why did Buffy call herself Anne?_

_Maybe I should go after them?_ She remembers the expressions on each girl's face. _Maybe not._

She smells something burning in the kitchen. _The rolls._ She runs to the kitchen, and opens the oven door. The rolls are burned. She sighs. _Well, those are history._

As she's pulling the pan out of the oven, she thinks to herself. _Probably doesn't matter._

_I don't think anyone's going to be eating dinner soon tonight._

4

Willow is knocking loudly on the backhouse door.

" Buffy! Buffy! Open up, c'mon… open up!"

Silence. Not a sound from the inside.

" Buffy, I know you're in there. Open up."

More silence.

" Buffy. I'm not upset," Willow lies a little, " I'm just surprised. C'mon now, open please."

" Go 'way" A voice is heard from within.

" Buffy, don't do this. Don't act like a child. Let's talk about this."

" There's nothing to talk about, Will." Buffy says through the door, " Just go back inside."

" Buffy, " Willow swallows her impatience, " you're here, not where you're supposed to be. I'm wondering why."

The door opens. Buffy's head pops out.

" Why can't you just go away, Will," Buffy says, sounding tired. " Never mind, I'll just go, ok?"

She pops her head back in, but before she can close the door, Willow forces her way in. She stands in the entryway.

" Buffy, I'm just trying to understand. Why're you here? Why aren't you in England?"

Buffy moves over to her bed, appearing to be putting stuff into a sack. She mumbles something.

" I didn't hear that, Buffy," Willow says, feeling her impatience rise.

" What does it really matter?" Buffy repeats.

"What does it really matter?" Willow repeats her words. " Well, everyone expects you to be there, getting well. You're mom thinks you're there. So does Giles and Faith. Until tonight, so did I!" Willow can feel her temper starting to rise. " It matters, because you've run out on treatment." She notices Buffy putting stuff in the bag. " What's this about?"

" I'm leaving. Can't stay here now." Buffy says, pushing whatever she can fit in the bag.

" Leaving? Wait a minute. Leaving?" Willow's voice rises." What's that about? First you leave therapy, now you're leaving my grandmother's house? After all she's done for you? How grateful is that?"

" I'm very grateful to your grandmother, Will. I'm very fond of her. She's great."

" Well, this is a great way to show it, Buffy. Just ducking out. Don't suppose you were going to tell her, either."

" I can't stay here. Not now." Buffy turns towards the dresser.

Willow notices that Buffy hasn't looked at her once since she came in. " Buffy… what's up? What's going on…" She walks over, and gets in Buffy's way. " Look at me, Buffy Summers. Don't you turn your back on me when I'm talking to you."

" Will, just get out of my way. Why're you doing this? Just let me go!" Buffy tries to duck around Willow, but Willow grabs her arms, forcing Buffy to face her.

" I want some answers, Buffy. I think I deserve that, " Willow says, tightly, " Why're you here? Why aren't you in England where you're supposed to be?" Buffy struggles against her, turning her face this way and that way not to look at her. " Don't do that, Buffy. Look at me. Answer me!"

"Why won't you leave me alone?" Buffy cries at her, " All I want is to be left alone."

" No, I won't leave you alone. According to Gram, you've been here nearly 3 months… and you're supposed to be getting help. So, what's the deal, Buff?"

" Dammit, what can they do, anyway? There's nothing they could do. So I left."

" You left," Willow tries to hold onto her temper." You just up and left? What then? How'd you get here, then?"

" I told them I wanted to go home. So they put me on a plane."

" And… then you didn't bother to go home. You just…disappeared?" Willow shakes her head, then pushes Buffy away." I can't believe you! You… just take off. What about us, Buffy? Didn't you kind of figure we'd notice?"

" No one know so far, do they?" Buffy says, petulantly.

" Because you've been lying to them. THEY THINK YOU'RE IN ENGLAND!" Willow loses it. " What the HELL are you doing? Don't you get it? We're all worried about you, thinking you're going through hell… and you're here. Having a great old time while we don't know what's happening with you. Think that's fair?" Willow shakes her head. " I don't get you. When were you planning on … oh… coming home?"

Buffy stands there, staring at her. But no answer.

" When, Buffy? When were you planning on coming back?"

Still nothing. Willow frowns more.

" Were you planning on coming back?"

Buffy still doesn't say anything. Willow comes over and grabs her again. " Were you ever coming back, Buffy?"

" No," Buffy almost whispers." I can't. I can't ever go back, Will."

"What the hell do you mean, you can't go home? That's … stupid talk! Of course you can go home. They WANT you to come home, Buffy. They're WAITING for you to come home. " Willow throws up her hands, walking away again." That's not making any sense at all."

" How can I face them… you? ANYONE, after what I did? Don't you see that? I can't… I just can't."

" So, what? Is this just another summer run away, Buffy? Like you did before? Oh, yeah, I remember. No one would've understood you then, either. Right, Buffy? Isn't that what you told us? We didn't know what you've gone through? Well, boo hoo, Buffy! We've all been through hell, one way or another, lately. You can't face it? Well, Buffy, that's life. You face the hard stuff and deal. You don't just run away." Willow shakes her head. " I'm just talking to the wall, aren't I? You're not going to listen. You're just going to do whatever you're going to do. No matter who you hurt, right Buffy?" She gets in Buffy's face. " So what happens this time, Buffy? You just do your own thing until you miss your family and friends, then show up one day? That the plan?"

" No."

" Then what, Buffy? What's the plan?"

" I'm not going back, Will. Didn't you listen? I'm not… all I want to do is disappear. Why can't you let me do that?"

" I see. So, then what about us, Buffy? Did you even consider us? What about your mom, Buffy? What happens when she finds out you're not coming back? What do you think she's going to feel? Think she's going to be happy? Do you even care?"

" Yes, I care!"

" Oh, really?" Willow's tone is sarcastic, " I'm kind of surprised. I am. I mean, doesn't sound like it. Sounds like you're afraid to face us, god knows WHY, but you're afraid, and you're just taking a powder so it's easier on YOU!"

" That's not true, " Buffy retorts, " You think this is easy for me?"

" Well, frankly? Yeah!"

" It's not, damn you, Will. It's killing me. I can't ever see anyone I love again. Think that's easy? Try it! I was separated from you guys for nearly a year, and all I have to look forward is not ever seeing you again. Oh yeah, I'm loving that, Will."

" Well, then WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? NO ONE, no one, wants you to do this. Except you."

" I can't go back, Willow. I screwed everything up, and I can't ever make it right. It's better I go, disappear. Everybody's gonna be better off!"

" Oh? Well, I'll be sure to tell you're mom that. I'm sure she'll just be so glad you're NEVER COMING BACK. OH, SHE'S JUST GONNA BE DANCING THROUGH THE FIELDS, TOSSING FLOWERS. Yeah, Buffy, she's gonna be doing cartwheels. And what about Giles, Buffy? Think he's going to be doing dances when he finds out you're just turning your back on us?"

" I'm not …."

" THE HELL YOU'RE NOT!" Willow yells at her. " WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK IT IS? Never mind, I don't want to hear what you think. You listen to ME, Buffy Summers. You listen!" Willow starts to wind up. " You're mom's been a wreck since you've been gone. She gets through the days, but you can see it's wearing on her. And Giles? You think this has been easy for him? You know how he feels about you, and it's killing him to know how much you've been suffering. Well, _IF you've been suffering!_ Oh… and Faith. What about her? Just going to forget about her? Think she's just going to go skipping along la. la. la .la . la? Do you have any idea how this has hurt her? How miserable she's been without you? Do you even give a damn, Buffy?"

Buffy is silent.

" Do you have any ideas how many nights she cried over you? You know, Faith? The one who never cries? How many nights I've held her while she cried, broken hearted? Afraid she was going to lose you? Do you think she's just going to forget you, Buffy? Do you?"

" I wish she would. She should. Forget me, move on." Buffy says, quietly.

" Right, she's just going to turn off her feelings, just like that, huh? Maybe YOU can do that, but the rest of us? Not so easy." Willow paces. " So, Buffy, if that's really how you feel, tell her. Don't keep her hanging. Tell her to move on!"

" I did… just a few days ago, when I talked to her. I told her she should move on."

" On the phone. While she's thinking your in England, getting help. Smooth, Buffy, and real easy. How 'bout having some guts, girl, and actually facing her and telling her?" She notes Buffy looking away. " Yeah, didn't think so!" Willow turns to her. " Do you even give a damn about her? I'm thinking… no."

" Don't tell me what I'm feeling. What I care about, Willow. You've got no idea what I feel, what I've been through. You don't know, so don't you tell me what I'm feeling!"

" If you cared, would you even think of doing what you're planning on doing? Just up and leaving her, dumping her by default, just walking away, without a word?" She looks at Buffy, then turns her back." I never thought I'd hear myself say this. But you disgust me, Buffy Summers. God, how can you be such a cold, selfish bitch?" She turns back. "How can you treat her that way?"

" Me?" Buffy looks at Willow, " what about you? If you're such a good friend. If you know she needs support, why aren't you there, Willow? Why aren't YOU in Sunnydale? With her?"

" Don't even try to divert this on me, Buffy. You're her supposed love, her supposed girlfriend. But you're just walking away from her, when she needs you most. Yeah, I'd love to be there for her, Buffy. But I can't. Remember Tara? I spent nearly the last year trying to separate myself from her. With help from Faith. Because I needed to. I had to get away, it was too damned painful, being there. So, don't try to make this about me. You don't know. You just don't know, or don't care!"

" Don't know huh?" Buffy moves towards her. " don't care, huh? Think I don't know what was going on? How you and she were living together. Think I'm stupid, Will? Do you? You're sitting here lecturing me about doing the right thing. Well, gee… that's real nice, considering what you were doing. Real nice."

" What the hell are you talking about, Buffy?"

" I'm talking about you… how do you want to euphemize it, Willow? … comforting her… while I was away."

" God, Faith was right about you. How the hell can we tell what you want, Buffy? On one hand, you're pushing us together. Then, IF we do take some comfort in each other, you get all bent. What's that about, Buffy? God, how dare you insinuate that what we did was … god…you're one piece of work, Buffy. You're rare. You get all out of shape because of something YOU DID YOURSELF! I doubt we would've gotten together, if you hadn't pushed it. YOU did that Buffy. And when we get together one time, you're nuts. You go crazy. Shit."

" One time? Is that your story, Will? You got together once?" Buffy cocks her head.

" Before you went over the deep end, Yeah, Buffy. ONCE!"

" Really. And after. How 'bout that. You know…after I went… off the deep end, as you put it. Which by the way? Had a lot to your spell giving me back my soul. So, while I'm talking to the plants., or doing time in the rubber room . How many times then?" She waits, but Willow doesn't respond. "What's wrong, Ms. Moral high ground? Cat got your tongue? Or, maybe it's another name for cat eh?" She sneers.

" You make it sound dirty. It wasn't dirty, damn you!" Willow shoves her. " Yeah, we slept together, Buffy. Because we both were hurting. She was dying because of what was happening to you, and I was dead because of Tara. We comforted each other, Buffy, because we needed it. We're not all cold, selfish heartless bitches like you!"

" Really?" Buffy says," that why you left her, then? I mean, if everything was so good, why'd you leave? If it was comfort, why'd you leave her to twist, Will? Tell me, huh? Cold? I'm cold? Give me a break. That's ice, baby, what you did. Just walk out on her!"

" It wasn't like that! You have no idea what it was about!"

" Then inform me, Will. Why'd you leave her? Get tired of her? Like you did Tara? Was that it?"

" I LOVE HER!" Willow screamed " I LOVE HER. Happy? I fell for her, hard. And you know what? She fell for me too. How's that, Buffy? That what you wanted to hear? No? Too fucking bad, you bitch! Because, it's because of YOU I left. Because of you. Even when we were together, you were there , the 900 pound gorilla lurking in the corner, sitting on the table. Between us. She loves you, Buffy. She does. And she can't give that up. Even though I'd walk through hell to make her happy. And the only thing YOU want to do is shit on her!" Willow turns red with anger. " I wish you would disappear. I wish you'd just vanish. Maybe then we could be happy, if you were gone!"

" YOU FUCKING WHORE!" Buffy screams at her

SLAP!

Willow reels back from Buffy's slap, holding her face. She stares at her with wide, hurt eyes.

" Oh… oh God, Will.. shit… Will…I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

But Willow is gone. She turns and runs back toward the main house. Buffy runs after her.

" Will… god, Willow, please, stop. Please I'm sorry… please…"

Willow disappears through the back door. Buffy tries to follow, but Rose stops her.

" Please. Mrs. Weiss. I've got to talk to her. Please!" Buffy tries to duck around her, but Rose isn't having any of it.

" Stop! Right there… Anne…or Buffy… or whatever the hell your name is. STOP!"

Buffy stops.

" All right, what happened?" Rose asks, tone neutral. " I hear shouting all the way in here, Willow comes in her, holding her face and crying, and you're chasing her. What happened?"

Buffy briefly explains what occurred in the backhouse. Rose's face goes grim.

" You hit my granddaughter?" Rose asks, sternly.

Buffy nods. "But, I … I just lost my temper…I didn't mean to…I've got to …"

" I think you better stay out, Ms. Summers." Rose says angrily." I don't like people hitting my family. I think you better go back to the guest house." Buffy doesn't move. " Now would be good, Ms. Summers."

Buffy backs off, and starts towards the guest house.

" Oh, and Ms. Summers?"

Buffy turns back towards Rose.

" You might want to look for another place to live." Rose closes the door on her.

Buffy seems to collapse. Her whole body seems to lose any energy. She turns, and walks back towards the guest house.

Rose turns around, and Willow is standing there, looking at her.

" Are you all right, Willow ?" She asks." Let me see your face."

Willow moves her hand. There's a red mark where Buffy slapped her. Gingerly, Rose inspects Willow's cheek and jaw. She sighs. "Well, she didn't break skin. I don't think you'll bruise. You'll probably want some ice for that, though."

" I'm ok, Gram," Willow says. " What did you say to her?"

" Who? Ms. Summers?"

" Yeah, Buffy. What did you say to her?"

" Just that she wasn't welcome in here. That she should go back to the guest house, " Rose said, quietly, " and I guess you're right. I asked her to leave. I'm sorry. I never should've…"

" No, Gram, don't. Don't kick her out. Please?"

" Willow, I can't have her here. Not if she's going to be beating up on my granddaughter. You're family, honey. I can't risk you getting hurt."

" It's not all her fault, Gram. We said some pretty terrible things to each other…"

" I know, dear. I could hear you up here…"

" Oh, god," Willow blanches. " I'm… so sorry, Gram…"

" I don't understand this, Willow. I'm not going to pretend I do," Rose looks at her." I'm not really happy that she hit you."

" I said something…I wish I hadn't… please, Gram. She doesn't have anywhere to go… not now, anyway."

" Seems like you don't exactly hate her." Rose closes her eyes. She shakes her head. " Ok, if you don't want me to, I won't ask her to leave. But, I don't think she should come to the main house anymore."

" Thank you, Gram, " Willow says quietly

" I'm really confused, Willow. I remember how you used to talk about her. I used to think you had a crush on her. The way you described her, she could do no wrong. Now…? What happened between you two?"

" I… really don't want to talk about it Gram."

Rose sighs. " Ok, dear. I can't force you. I think you should go to bed. Well… maybe get something to eat first, then bed." She shakes her head.

Willow leaves the kitchen.

_I don't even want to know what happened. I'll never understand this._ She walks towards the back door. _I'm too old for this._

Buffy carefully hangs up her dress. _Maybe I can return it. Get her money back._ She removes the sandals, and starts to put on jeans and a top when a knock comes at her door. She walks over, and opens the door.

" Ummm… I know I can't say anything to change what happened, Mrs. Weiss, " Buffy says, seeing who it is, " But I do want you to know that I'm very sorry. As soon as I can find a place, I'll be out. I promise." Buffy reaches into her jeans, pulling out some money. " I meant to give this to you earlier. The money I had left over… wait." She goes to her dresser, opens a drawer, and lifts out a small box. She opens it. It's her cache of savings. She pulls it out, and counts it. She walks back to the front door. " Sorry, I don't have quite enough, but I'll get the rest to you as soon as I can."

Rose puts up her hand, refusing the money. " I don't want the money, Anne… Buffy… what do I call you now?"

" Anne is fine, Mrs. Weiss." Buffy hands her the money. " I can't keep this."

" Look Anne. Willow doesn't want you to move. So, you can stay if you wish. I just think that maybe it best you don't come to the main house anymore, and at least for awhile, stay away from my granddaughter. OK?"

" No. I can't live here anymore, Mrs. Weiss. Thank you, but I can't." Buffy looks around. "I'll find somewhere to go…and I'll get rid of the stuff before I leave." Buffy puts the cash in Rose's hand." Now , please take this. I'll see if I can return the dress tomorrow, and I'll give you the rest then."

" Anne, please? Don't go. I was just upset. I'd like you to stay."

" Thanks, but I really do have to go. I … lost my best friend tonight. I can't really live here anymore. Not while she's living here. Anyway, I should've gone a while ago." Buffy pauses, feeling drained. " Thank you for giving me a chance. Good night, Mrs. Weiss."

" I wish you'd think about it, Anne."

" Good night, Mrs. Weiss, " Buffy shuts the door on her.

Rose stands for a few moments, looking at the door. Then she turns back to the main house.

She's at a loss, out of her depth here. She can't really understand how two friends as close as these were could get so … separated. But she has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with someone else. Someone neither is mentioning.

_I think I'd like to meet this person. Maybe give them a piece of my mind._

Tired from the day's drama, she walks towards her home.

To be continued.


	17. Chapter 16

Mirror

By Norwalker

Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Joss, Fox, Mutant Enemy, Inc. They own the rights to the characters appearing on the TV show " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel". Any of those characters appearing here? They belong to them, and I'm not making a dime writing about them. So, that's that. Now, if by some weird chance, any person in this fiction happens to resemble any person, living or dead, it's really just a coincidence. Oh, and you have a _really strange_ life. We done now? Legal speak really feels like swearing sometimes.

1

Willow stares at the phone in front of her, caught on the horns of a dilemma.

_Ok, exactly what kind of beast is a dilemma, anyway? Maybe it's a demon. I don't know, but it's got horns, and it's really jabbing me right now. Ok, Will, this so isn't getting it done._

Willow picks up the phone, starts to dial, and then stops. _Maybe I should wait til later. Til it's later out there. Yeah, that's a better idea._ She puts down the phone, starts to get up; then she sits back down. _You're stalling. You know you're stalling. You really got to do this._

Resolved, she picks up the receiver. She hears the dial tone. Her finger goes for the first digit. And…she stops. She puts down the receiver, looking at it. _Damn._

_This is so much harder than I thought it'd be, _Willow thinks, looking at the phone in front of her. _I know it's the right thing to do. Joyce deserves to know where Buffy really is. It's not right that Buffy should keep tricking her into thinking she's still in recovery in England. She should know that Buffy bailed. That she's hiding out. It's the right thing to do._

_Yeah, so noble, Will. Doing the right thing. You're just sooo good at that, aren't you? This of course wouldn't have a thing to do at getting back at Buffy, would it? Heavens, no. You just have to let Joyce know the score. Joyce has always been good to you… even when your own parents didn't give a rat's patootie about you, she did. She always made you welcome and feel a part. You owe her, right? Right!_

_Sure, and the fact that Buffy'll get her ass spanked, doesn't mean a thing, does it Will? Or getting her in trouble? That isn't part of it, is it Will? No, of course not. This will be _best _for her, won't it? Sure, it's best. She'll see they love her, and want her… and Faith'll come for her and … oh sure, that's not holding you back, is it? That Faith will come for her, and take her home, and be all happy, and lovey dovey with the blonde bitch, and forget all about you and she'll be happy and Buffy will be happy and you'll be miserable… that isn't stopping you, is it?_

_No, it's right. Faith should be happy. If it's Buffy she wants… I guess, then … oh FUCK ME! It's not FAIR! Why should Buffy get her, anyway? What's so special about Buffy? That she's a slayer? Not a slayer anymore! That she's so blond and cute and all cheerleader-y? That she knows how to shake those pom-poms of her and have 'em all come running? Sure, why shouldn't SHE win, right? Cuz, that's what FAITH wants, right? Because it's right, RIGHT? Sure, why not? Because Buffy's so pretty, and blond, and tiny and sweet. God, if they only knew her like I know her… oh, wait, Faith does know her like I know her. But I mean, really know her. Know what a catty, mean petty little bitch she can be! " But, Buffy's so sweet!' My ass! " Buffy's so pretty" Well, ok, but she can't be all pretty forever, can she? Then what? She's just another … ahh, crap. Catty much, Will? You know Buffy's not just another… damn, why'd she have to call me a WHORE? Shit, that really hurt. That really hurt._

Willow's face starts to screw up like she's going to cry. " no, I won't, I won't cry… no I won't!" She bites her lip, hard. _I'm not a whore. God, I just fell in love…again… with the wrong girl. Damn me, I'm an idiot, I'm a fool…ok, I'm even a slut… but I'm not a whore! I didn't mean it, Buffy, honest I didn't mean it. I didn't want to fall for Faith. Think I wanted to hurt you? Think I'm a bitch? Geeze, Buffy… Ah, damn. Why am I apologizing to her, anyway? She doesn't care. She doesn't care about anyone. Only herself. It's always Buffy, Buffy, Buffy, and then… more Buffy! God, she's so self centered she can't pass a mirror without looking in it. Oh, and how's it fair that she should be able to wear anything, and look good in it? Shit, you could dress her in old bags and she'd look hot! Last night, that dress. Looked like she picked it up at Wal-Mart. And damn, if she didn't look cute in it. Not Fair! God, it's so not Fair. What's so special about BUFFY?_

_How 'bout, just about everything? Like the…oh… million times she's pulled your ass out of the fire? Saved your life without thinking about it? Or hung around with you, not cuz she 'had' to, but really wanted to just hang with you? Oh, and how she casually invite you over for dinner, knowing your parents were gone… again… and otherwise you'd eat alone, on crappy left overs or junk food? Oh, and when Cordelia made you a special target of her venom, who was it stuck up for you? Then when you felt like crap, she'd make it a project to cheer you up? Who stuck up for Tara, after she cast a spell that nearly got you all killed, who stuck up for her against her own family, calling her family? Made her a part of things… even though she didn't have to? Who'd stuck with you when you were so shaky from the magic, held you, cuddled you because she knew you were so bad off you might slip away… and wouldn't let you? Even though she was dying inside from losing Dawn? Who was that again? Shit!_

Willow picks up the receiver. _Sorry, Buffy. I know you want to disappear. And you know what? I wouldn't mind if you just never existed, because then Faith would love me like she loves you. And I that would be…shit, it'd be better than heaven. But she loves you, and … oh fuck me, I don't even want to think about that or I'll chicken out. I can't let you just disappear, Buffy. I can't be the consolation prize, when I know she'd rather have you. I gotta do this, because you need to be back with your family, with Faith. That's the right thing, right? The right thing to do. I gotta do this, cuz if it were reversed? You'd do it. I know you would. DAMN YOU!_

Willow dials the number.

2

Faith leans against the porch post, staring at the pack of Marlboros she bought.

_Shouldn't. You're bad for me. Was fucking hell giving you up. It's nice not smelling like an ashtray anymore. Should just put you away, again. Go run another mile. Yeah. _ She slips the cigs back in her coat. _Aw, fuck me, who wants to live forever? Who cares?_ She takes them out, and opening the box, tamps out a cig. _Look at you, all long and round and cylindrically and … naw… geeze, who designed these fuckers, anyway? I mean, the tip? Looks just like a nipple…sorta… geeze, mommy complex much guys? Pervs! _ She sticks the cig between her lips. _Aw well, back to hell again. _ She pulls out the cheap bic lighter she also bought. _Another reason to hate vamps. My lighter… lost it on those creeps in that club. I loved that bitch. Had her forever. Now… just this piece of crap lighter._ She lights the cigarette, and takes a deep draw. _Oh yeah, I gotta say, missed that. Welcome home, baby. Time for some lung rot._

As she's taking her second drag, she hears the phone ring inside. _Mom'll get it. Not for me, anyway. Never is. _ She leans back, enjoying the nicotine buzz. She hears the phone ring again, and again. _Mom? You gonna get that? _When it rings again, she tosses the cig. _Shit, howdy. Can't even enjoy a smoke around this place. So glad to say bye-bye Sunnyhell._ Cursing just a little, she runs up the steps.

But she's lying to herself. She really is going to miss it here, especially being here… feeling at home. Joyce made her feel for the first time that she really belonged somewhere. Here. Now, she's got to tell her that she's going away, and she's not looking forward to that. _It's been bad enough on mom, losing one daughter. Ok, I'm not her daughter. I didn't do the slip slidey down her chute. But … she's mom to me… and I think she's gonna miss me… shit, I hate this!_

" Oh chill, phone, " She growls, reaching the phone. " I'm here!" That's when she sees the note on the counter.

**_Faith,_**

_**Sorry. Had to go out early to meet a buyer. There's milk and cereal , sorry couldn't meet you for breakfast. See you tonight? Maybe have dinner before you go save the world? Ha. Ha.**_

_**Love, **_

_**mom.**_

_Shit!_

" Yeah, hello? What?" Faith barks in the phone, feeling upset about all that's going down. " Sorry, hello?"

There's a silence on the phone. Faith looks angry.

" Hello? Is anyone there?"

She just hears soft breathing on the phone.

" Great. A perv. Just what I need. Look , guy, if you're just gonna breathe all day, just go bother someone else. "k?"

Another long silence.

" Oh well, fuck you too…" Faith starts to hang up the phone.

" Faith?"

Faith nearly drops the receiver. As is, she juggles it around to get it back up to her ear.

" Red?" Faith feels her whole body go nuts on her. " Red?"

" Faith, " Willow almost drops the phone. _Crap, this is so not what I wanted! Oh damn, why'd she have to answer, anyway? Damn!_

" Red. Hi. God, sorry… just we get a lot of perv calls here, kinda… sorry, hey." Faith finds all of a sudden, she doesn't remember English very well. Talking is becoming rather hard, too. Standing, breathing… not easy.

" Faith… Hey, " Willow feels her heart start to hammer in her chest. " Ummm… how are you?" _OH, that's so clever, Will. " How are you?" Shit! Why not just " How's the weather?"_

" I'm… uhhh… I'm…." _Why the hell is my hand shaking?_" I'm… fine. You know? Great. Yeah. Just doin' my thing, you know. " _Shit, just lie some more, right? Fine my ass. Shit, why does her voice make me all …shit…_

" Good, glad to hear it, " Willow almost chokes on the words. _What did you expect? Her to say " I miss you, come back to me so I can fuck your brains out?" Only in my dreams._ " So, doing the slayer thing? Now? I mean, what time is it there?" _Oh good, now it's a time check. You're so smart, Will. Get an 'A' in " Conversations with people 101"?_

" Huh? What? Oh, no, I didn't mean right now. I'm talking on the phone with you right now, " Faith nearly dies. _God, are you a moron, Faith or what? Restate the obvious. You're a total dope. _" I just meant…that's what I'm doing… the slayer thing… you know?" _Smooth, Faith, really smooth. God, I need a cig. A cig and a bottle of Jack. Shit, now I get why dear old mom loved her Crack n' Jack. _" So…college girl. How's it hangin'?" _Shit, she doesn't…crap.._ " I mean… how's college going?"

" Hmmm…College?" Willow's mind is 3 thousand miles away. " Oh, yeah…it's great, really great" _Finally, something safe to talk about._ " Doing really good, you know? Love the classes. That's me, loving the learning, you know. Ha. Ha." _Can you sound more geeky, Will?_ " Anyway, got great Professors. Working on a paper on teaching special needs children…" _Yeah, what about my special needs? Oh damn…don't go there…god, too late. Nipples hard! _" And …lets see…I take my first Orals in about two months …" _Shit! Did I just say that? Orals? God! GOD!_

" Orals?" Faith is confused…and suddenly all tingly. _Orals…mmm…love to take some orals with you baby. Hmmm…you do orals…shit… Damn… god I gotta think of something else or I'm gonna…shit… too late. I think I wet myself…Damn!_

" Oral examinations. Er… not written. To test my knowledge on the subject." _Hmmm… love to give you an oral exam, lover. Get down and exam that sweet… oh shit. STOP THIS!_" Uhhh… anyway, college is good, real good!" _Shit, is nothing safe? I gotta end this…can't keep talking to her… bad, real bad. Shit…._" Hey, ummm…was calling for Joyce… is she there?"

" Joyce?" Faith forgets who Joyce is for a moment. Her mind is still on Orals. " Oh… Duh…right…oh…no she's out…" Faith picks up the note. She's forgotten everything but Orals." She had to meet a buyer…I'm guessing, she won't be back 'til tonight." _God, are you a tard, or what?_

" Oh, " Willow is feeling extremely conflicted. _Ok, should tell her. About Buffy. Remember, right thing to do. Right thing to do! Wrong that I want to forget Buffy right now. Wrong I want to hurl myself over this line and start stripping her naked. Wrong so wrong image in my head of Faith naked. Bad. No, gotta tell her. Gotta tell her. Buffy…is here, Faith. See? Like that. Now…just do it… Faith, Buffy is here. In Ohio. Living at my grandmother's. She's trying to disappear and you need to come get her…yes, perfect. No. Why should I help her? Why should I tell Faith, get her hopes up, and then when she comes, Buffy's like gone? No, I'll call back Joyce. I will… Not telling her now. No._ Willow swallows." Oh, ok, well, it wasn't important. Just wanted to see how she was doing. Ummm… guess I'll call back. Later. When she's there, you know?"

" Right," Faith says, feeling her stomach turn over." Later." _But, you don't give a fuck how I'm doin' , right? Not really, do ya? I mean so the fuck what you left me. So who cares, right? Meant nothin, right? Why am I even doing this, anyway? Well, let's see how you like it._" Well, guessin' I got news, too, Red. I'm leavin…"

"What?" Willow feels like someone just punched a hole in her heart. " Leaving? When? Where?" Her voice cracks. " Why?"

" The Watcher's council. They decided that I'm needed elsewhere. Sunnydale is a big zero on the Hellmouth scale now. So they're moving me… to somewhere else."

" Where? Where you going?"

"I dunno. They won't tell me. Only I'm going. Real soon." Faith exhales. " I haven't told Joyce yet."

" But… what about Buffy?" _I've got to tell her. Now! Before it's too late. _´Faith, listen to me. I've got to tell you…"

" No, don't. Please, " Faith's voice goes flat. " Buffy…yeah, well, whatever. I mean, what am I supposed to do when she pretty much dumps me on the phone, huh? Give you props, Red, at least you did it to my face." _Shit, I hate this. God, I hate this. What'm I doin here?_

" Faith, " Willow's voice is soft. _God, I never should've left her. I should've stuck it out. Even if I got hurt, so what? At least she would've… God, I'm such a…Damn._" Why're you saying this? Are you trying to hurt me?" _If you are? It's working._" Faith, I don't want to lose contact. Please, let me give you my number, ok? We can talk…"

Faith looks at the phone like it wants to bite her. She shakes her head. _What, so we can keep doing this to each other?_

"What's the point, Red?" Faith's tone goes flat. " So we can torture each other some more? Sorry, don't think so. I used to be into torture, and I never made it this bad," Faith feels like her lungs are on fire" Buffy pretty much dumps me. You walk out on me. And I want to keep talking? That's good, real good, ya know? I don't get the point of all this, you know? Being in love? I'm only seeing what? Pain? No… pretty much you both said, bye. Fine, maybe that's best. Maybe this was all fucked up in the first place. I can't see it, Red. Really can't. Sorry." Faith's tone grows colder. " You two should go on the road together. You know? You're better at torture than I ever thought of being. No. Sorry. Done. " _You're a fucking liar, Faith. You'd do anything to have her back. But ya can't resist stickin it to her, can you. Oh, you're so good. So fucking good!_

" Faith, I only left because I thought that would be best for you and Buffy."

" Sure. Nice, sounds real nice. All noble and crap. But, if you loved me so much, Red, why'd you throw me away like that? I've been through hell here because you weren't here. I needed you so badly…and you left." Faith sighs. " Sorry, Red. Figure it's over, keeping in contact? Really not needing this. Not needing this at all. Goodbye , Red…"

" Faith wait, " Willow decides she's lost, but there's still Buffy." Please listen to me. It's about Buffy…"

" Oh, well. If you see her? Tell her I said goodbye to her, too. I'm done."

" Faith, no…."

Click

Willow stares at the phone, the throws it as hard as she can. It hits the wall, and bounces off, apparently unharmed. She sits there, staring at it. For some reason, she starts to laugh.

" Can't even… do that right, " She laughs almost hysterically, " …can't even… break a stupid…phone… god I'm so good…" she keeps on laughing and laughing until the tears start to fall. " So smart… threw away the best thing I ever had… so damned smart…"

Willow gets up, walking over and picking up the phone. She puts it back on the table. She looks around. She feels like the walls are closing in on her. She runs out of the room, and out of the house. She needs to be elsewhere. Anywhere but here right now.

Buffy watches as Willow disappears down the driveway. She moves away from the window, and goes over to the punching bag. She starts hitting it, one blow after another after another.

_I've ruined her life now too_(bam) _Everything I touch, I destroy_(bam) _I'm no good, I don't deserve anything_(bam) _I'm worthless, I'm useless, I'm nothing_(bam) (bam)_Nothing_(bam) (bam) (bam)_It be better if I were just gone_(bam) (bam) _Then no one would be hurting anymore_(bam) (bam) (bam)

She steps away from the bag. She stares at her fists. _You know what you gotta do. _

Faith stares at the receiver, then carefully hangs it up. She grabs the note, and crumples it up.

_Wonder if she bought that shit? Who cares, right? I'll be gone soon. Won't make a diff._

She starts towards the stairs, thinking she'll get ready for her run. She stops at the bottom, looking up. _What the fuck for? What do I give a shit, anyway?_

_I need a drink. _

_Fuck that. I need a lot of drinks._

She storms out the front door.

3

Buffy stops dressing and watches as the last little bit of the sun disappears on the horizon. She walks to the window, watching the sky as it darkens into night.

She feels the night call out to her. She reaches out and touches the pane, her hand glowing in the dying sun. She smiles.

_Soon, real soon. _

She moves away, and finishes dressing, pulling on her cap. She reaches into the drawer, and pulls out the cross. She brings it to her lips, and kisses it.

" I'll make it right, baby. I promise," she whispers as she hangs the cross over her neck." It's all gonna be better now."

Feeling a little flushed, Buffy walks into the bathroom to splash cool water on her face. As she dries it off, she sees herself in the mirror.

_Well, loser, out to try to do it right this time? You know it won't work. It'll never be right. You can't do what you need to do to make it right, can you?_

_I can, I will do it. I can._

_Yeah, sure you can. Keep telling yourself that. It's a nice little fairy tale. Maybe someday you'll actually buy that. But, you can't fool me. You can't do it. You don't got the guts._

_Fuck you, I can do it, and I will. I'll show you. I'll show 'em all. I'll make this right. It's all gonna be right again._

_Yeah, well, we'll see. But, hopin' you don't mind if I don't hold my breath waiting? Blue? Not my color!_

_Shut UP! I'm gonna do it, Shut UP!_

Buffy rushes out of the bathroom, hearing the laughter following her. She rushes to the door, and exits,

_It's gonna be right again. I'm gonna make it happen FUCK YOU ALL IT'S GONNA HAPPEN!_

She strides quickly into the gloom of the night.

Willow watches Buffy disappear up the street from her bedroom window. She casts a small protection spell over her, hoping it will help keep her safe. _Yeah, that's so gonna help. She's out going up against vampires and monsters, and I'm sitting her casting spells. _ Willow sighs. _This all sucks. I don't want to be mad anymore. And I'm still mad. Damn._

Willow feels the tears of anger and hurt come. The whole day has been bad, really bad. Faith, Buffy. It's like she's on some crazy carnival ride she can't get off, it just keeps spinning out of control. _Damn. What'm I gonna do? What am I gonna do?_

She looks over, and sees her laptop, and sighs. _Paper. Get back to the paper. Forget this. Can't think about this anymore. Gotta work. Get done. Then maybe I can turn it in, get my grade, dive under a bus and just DIE!_

Willow leans heavily over the laptop, putting her head in her hands, covering her face. _Dammit, just stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself._

She looks at the screen, starting to read over the paper. It's kind of hard, because her eyes are still teary. After awhile, she shakes her head in disgust.

_I wrote this garbage? I can't believe this? What was I thinking! God, ok, I can fix this. This is school. I'm good at this. Damn, I gotta be good at something, right?_

Willow pulls up her notes, and starts going over them. She looks up at the light knocking on her door. _Shit, Gram. I've hid out so far, but if she sees I've been crying…I don't have time for this_

" What Gram? I'm really busy in here" Willow calls out. " Mega behind!"

" You weren't home for dinner, honey," Rose calls through the door, " I just wanted to be sure you got something to eat."

" Oh yeah, great, Gram. Stuffed! Thanks!"

" Willow, can I come in? Just for a minute?"

_Oh, man. Don't need this._

" Can't it wait, Gram? Really, really busy here. I gotta get this done."

" It'll just take a minute, dear. "

_Sigh_

" Ok, just a sec, Gram." Willow quickly checks her face in the mirror, wiping her eyes best she can. She runs back to her laptop, and pretends to be reading something. " Ok, Gram."

Rose walks in the room, and knows in about 2 second that Willow's been crying, and that she's using the laptop as cover.

" Sorry to disturb you dear. Know you're busy, but I was wondering if you knew what happened to the phone?"

" The phone?" Willow asks, innocently.

" Yes, dear. Funny, I know it was working last night. But for some reason, it seems to have stopped today sometime. I only found out because Mrs. Geshel came over, worried about me. She'd been trying to call me all morning. I tried it, and there was no dial tone. Strange. The other phone in my bedroom seems to be working, but not the one downstairs."

"Oh, gosh. That's my fault. Sorry Grams," Willow blushes. " I was using it this morning, and I was in a rush and I didn't set it back right and it fell on the floor. It looked ok, but I didn't check it. My bad."

" Oh." Rose looks at Willow," Ok dear. Just wish I'd known. I would've switched it with the one upstairs. Just poor Mrs. Geshel was so worried, took a half an hour and a couple of cups of tea to calm her down. Poor lady." Rose smiles." Of course, she did want to bend my ear with the latest gossip too. "

" I'm sorry, Gram," Willow says. " I'll get you a new one tomorrow, ok?"'

" Don't be silly, dear. It was an accident." Rose turns to leave, and stops " Ok, honey. Do I really have to ask you what the matter is?"

" Hmmm? Nothing, Gram." Willow fakes a yawn. " Just got lots to do, and hey, major sleepy." She grins at her Gram.

" Uh-huh. Come now, Willow. Your eyes are puffy, your nose is red , and it's not allergy season. Oh, and you don't have any allergies that I know of. So, dear, you've been crying. So, what's up?"

_Damn, why couldn't I have a no see, no hear, frail old doddering grandma ?… you know, the normal kind!_

" So, the phone was just a trick to get in to see me?"

" Well, dear, you're gone all day, you miss dinner, and sneak upstairs… I'm going to get suspicious. What happened? Is it still about Anne, dear? Sorry, Buffy, I mean. Is that it?" Rose comes and sits on the edge of Willow's bed.

" Kinda…" Willow stalls, hoping still to find a way to divert this topic.

" Kind of…ok, " Rose isn't happy with that answer." You're still upset about last night and angry with her, then? Is that why you're crying?"

" Well… yeah, that's it, Gram," Willow lies.

" Willow Danielle Rosenberg, I thought we…you're parents and I… taught you better than to lie to us." Rose arches a brow.

_Damn, how does she do that? I never get away with it with her!_

Willow sits, lips locked stubbornly, face looking resolved.

" Oh… right, the famous resolve face. Mmm-hmmm, I remember this. The one you put on when you've made your mind up about something. Well, I see," Rose nods. " So, I'm guessing this has something to do with the other girl. The one I don't know the name of, but I suspect is the cause of the problem between you and Anne… er…. Buffy."

Willow's cheeks color.

" Yes so I see." Rose looks at her calmly, " So, dear, would you like to talk about it now?"

" Uh…no," Willow says quietly. She waves at the laptop. " Busy"

" Ok, " Rose says calmly, " you do realize we are going to have to talk about this eventually?"

" Huh?" Willow asks, " Why?"

" Oh… well, you see. You're old fuddy of a grandmother gets rather upset when her granddaughter is upset, and mopes around, and sneaks around trying to avoid me. Never mind she's arguing with I think is her best friend in the world, over some other woman I … All right, this all just seems silly to me, and frankly, I don't get it. But you need to talk, and I'm here to listen. Even if I don't get it."

Willow is dying to talk to her Gram about this. Gram always knows how to fix the boo-boos. But pride and stubbornness is stopping her. _Hey, adult here. I can handle this. Yeah, sure, look how good you're doing so far. She's not gonna get it. Maybe she doesn't NEED to get it. Maybe she can just listen. And maybe, Gram isn't as dumb as you're making her out to be, you know?_

Do you really want to hear all this stuff, Grams? I mean, it's gonna sound so stupid to you." Willow gives her an out. _Please don't take it. Please, please, please!_

" Perhaps so, dear. But it's not silly or stupid to you, and that's what counts, isn't it?" Rose looks at her. " Now, we could talk up here. But I think we'd be more comfortable in the living room. Neutral territory. I won't be … how do you kids put it? … invading your space then. So, meet me downstairs?"

About an hour later, giving her Gram the reader's digest version, Willow has explained exactly( well, with some careful editing. _She doesn't need to know _everything_, does she? Don't think she's going to get the whole slayer, sacred duty, Hellmouth thing. I wouldn't, except I lived it!_) what life in Sunnydale has been like in the last year . Willow watches her grandmother carefully for her reaction.

Rose sits on the sofa for a few minutes, attempting to digest and make sense of what her granddaughter has just told her. She gazes at her granddaughter, and sighs. With a slightly odd expression on her face, she gets up and walks to the kitchen. She returns a few minutes later, with a wine bottle and two glasses. Willow looks somewhat surprised.

" Gram, I didn't think you…" She waves at the wine bottle and glasses.

" I don't, really. Very rarely. But tonight, what you told me? I suspect if there's any reason to have a glass of wine… this is it." She pours two glasses of a red wine, handing one to Willow.

Rose sits down, and sits sipping her wine for a while, trying to collect her thoughts. This has proven indeed to be an interesting evening for her. Interesting and informative. She looks at Willow again. Her expression isn't approving.

" You know what you did, was wrong, don't you Willow?" Gram asks, sipping her wine.

Willow is crushed. She's rarely earned her Gram's disapproval.

" I know, " Willow whispers, voice choked.

" I'm not angry at you, dear. More surprised, is all. I thought you knew better," Rose smiles a little smile. " I can't come down too hard on you. When my Hank died, I have to admit, there were times when I wanted to 'take comfort' in the wrong place. There was this one man…"

" GRAM!" Willow is a little shocked. A touch grossed, too.

" Oh, goodness, honey. I was in my forties. Still young, vital, still got those urges…" _Does this girl thin it all stops at 30? I can't even tell her I still get the urge now and then. She'd faint!_" Anyway, this isn't about me, now is it, dear? The point is, I can understand how it can happen. But that doesn't make it right, does it?"

" No…" Willow says softly, " But Gram, it wasn't like … I mean, I wouldn't have done it, if Buffy hadn't tried to shove us together all the time."

" Hmmm," Rose says, just looking at her.

" But it was…wrong," Willow blushes.

"Good, I wanted you to see that, " Rose says, " But it's done, and you can't exactly un-ring that bell. You've fallen for this… what did you say her name was again?"

" Faith," Willow says softly. _God, even saying her name gives me tingles. I'm so bad!_

" Yes, this Faith character. Can't say I approve much of what she did, either. She was supposed to love Anne…er…Sorry, Buffy. That is such an odd name. Whatever possessed her parents to call her that? Never mind, she was supposed to love Buffy, and then seduces you?"

" It wasn't that way at all, Gram!" Willow protests. " She didn't seduce me, I …" Willow blushes. " I came on to her."

" Yes, " Rose shakes her head slowly, " I'm still dealing with that. My granddaughter, the seductress."

" It wasn't like _that_, Gram. You make it sound…dirty!"

" Well, whatever it was, your Faith allowed herself to be seduced. She knew she had a woman she already loved, or said she did, and she goes and well, sleeps with you. Can't say that exactly speaks well of her."

" You don't know her!" Willow protests angrily, " You don't know her at all, but you're condemning her. That's not fair, Gram. She's a wonderful woman," Willow gets up, " If you're just going to pick on me and Faith, then I don't even know why were talking! I'll just leave!"

" You really do love her, don't you?" Rose can't help smiling. " I don't see it, but then it's not me. Sit down, dear, so we can discuss this rationally."

Willow keeps standing, arms crossed.

" Willow? SIT!"

Willow sits.

" That's better. I'm sorry dear, if you don't like my opinion. But you, and Anne, have brought this into my house. And it is _my _ house, and I will express my opinion."

" Fine," Willow says quietly, and peevishly.

" Being cranky won't change my mind, Willow. I don't approve of what you and Faith did."

" Well, what about her?" Willow exclaims." Buffy. She tried to push us together from day one. It wasn't just us, Grams. She does this whole thing to bring us together, what about that? Oh, and she loves Faith? Why is she always running away from her? It's come here, no, go away. Come here, no, go away. Back and forth. What do you expect any of us to feel? She's _not_ little miss innocent here, Gram. Don't care what you say. She has a part in this too. If she loved Faith so much, then quit pushing her away!"

" I'm not excusing Anne… Buffy… goodness. She plays a part in this too. However, dear, it might do to remember what she's been through. This boyfriend of hers. What he did to her was unconscionable. From what you tell me, she went through hell, and then gave a lot back. She hurt all of you, and believe you me, she's paying for that. Her conscience is her own worst enemy right now, dear. Maybe she's having a hard time accepting being loved. Maybe that's why she kept pushing Faith away, did you consider that?

" Yes, I did. I'm not a child, Gram. I figured that. But you didn't see what it was doing to Faith. I did. _I was there._ Not you, not Buffy. The girl was miserable, and I'm sorry, it touched me. I wanted to make her feel better, and that's ALL it was meant to be. To help her get through. She wasn't designing to cheat on Buffy, and NEITHER WAS I! I hadn't planned on falling for her, and I know she didn't plan on it for me. And Buffy isn't exactly guiltless Gram. She could've come home when she told them she was coming, and this probably wouldn't have happened. None of it. So don't you lay all the blame on me or Faith. Buffy is guilty too!"

Rose sighs, and sits back on the couch. She takes a generous swallow of her wine, and thinks for a moment.

" This is a rather large mess. And all of you, Buffy, Faith and yourself, have a part in making it. Who's more or less guilty? We can do this all night, and we're not going to agree. But here's the important thing, Willow. From what you've told me, you and Buffy go way back. Much longer than either of you and this Faith person. You've shared a lot, been there for each other, and helped each other through bad times. You've shared a lot in that 8 years; more than some people who live together for 50 years."

" Gram! I don't think… I mean… her and I? We don't feel…"

" Oh goodness, no! I'm not even suggesting something like that! You want to ruin what you have? No, Willow. What I'm saying…god…there's an old expression… I think it goes something like " Lovers come and go, but friends remain forever." Rose waves her hand. " Doesn't matter. What matters is you have something special, something precious with Buffy. True friendship. And you're going to throw it away, it looks like, over this other woman. Is that really what you want?"

"No," Willow says quietly. " I don't want to lose Buffy. I can't help how I feel, Gram."

"Well, this thing with you and Faith and Buffy? That you're going to have to figure out. I don't have that kind of experience. I met your grandfather and that was it for me. I made sure he wasn't looking for comfort anywhere else." Rose sighs, " What you have to do is figure out how you and Buffy can get past this. Find a way to fix it."

" I don't know if we can, Gram," Willow says , " Not that simple. With all that's happened, not sure we can just glue together and have it hold. Might be …just too broken."

" I didn't say it was going to be easy, dear. It probably will take more than one try at it," Rose looks at Willow,' but, considering what you told me, isn't it worth it?"

" I don't know who she is, Gram," Willow says, touching her cheek." She hit me. Buffy would never hit me. Not the Buffy I knew. Or thought I knew. It didn't hurt that bad, and I wasn't angry. Just shocked. Who is that?"

" Sweetheart. You told me what she went through. She's had what? A year to adjust? Some people never adjust honey. She may never be the same woman you remember, Willow. But does that mean you should give up on her? You have to ask yourself: Is she worth keeping?"

" Yeah," Willow whispers, her voice cracking, " but what if she doesn't want me anymore, Gram? What if she gives up on me?"

Rose sighs. " I don't know her mind. No one knows what she's thinking or feeling, except her. But I know she needs someone now. She needs something to hold onto. Something real. I think she's in trouble, and she doesn't know how to ask for help."

" She's always the one who protects everyone, Gram," Willow feels her throat constrict, " She's never asked for help. I don't know if she can."

" You have to let her know it's there, honey, if she needs it. You have to throw the rope this time."

" I don't know if I can," Willow says softly, " I don't know how."

" You do honey. You know how. You might be the only one who does."

Willow feels her hand shaking, and puts down her wine before she drops the glass.

" I've never seen her like that, Gram," Willow's voice quavers, " it was like she was afraid of me. She wouldn't even look at me. I forced her to look at me, and then she became so angry, so cold and angry… and said such mean things. And hit me. Like…she was afraid if I got too close, I'd see something worse." She looks up at Rose." I'm really scared, Gram." She sighs. " I called her mom. I got Faith on the phone. That's why the phone's busted, I … it didn't go well. I got angry." She confesses.

Rose sighs heavily, gets up and goes to stand by her granddaughter. " I wish I had some neat little answer for you honey. But frankly, I'm way out of my depth here. You're going to have to figure it out the best you can. You're going to have to decide what's important to you. I can't do that for you." She starts towards the stairs. She stops and turns. " Oh, I'd like one of those new cordless phones with an answering machine built in, when you get around to it." She smiles.

Willow turns pink. " 'K Grams. Pick it up tomorrow."

" No hurry dear. White would be nice, " Rose turns, " Put away the wine when you're finished, please. Goodnight, dear."

She goes upstairs.

Willow sits still for a moment, staring into space. Then seemingly on autopilot, she pours herself another glass of wine, wishing it were something stronger. Tequila might be nice. She downs the glass in one, and stands up, a little woozy from the sudden alcohol intake. She grabs the wine and glasses, and heads for the kitchen. While in there, she glances out the window, and sees Buffy standing at the edge of the drive, lighted by the streetlight. She just stares at the house, not moving. As if she recognizes it, but can't place it. Willow watches her, feeling an urge to go out and just hug her. But something in Buffy's expression gives her pause; she feels tiny ice knives poking her heart. She turns away for a moment to put the wine away. When she looks up, Buffy's gone.

_Who are you, Buffy? How can I help you?_

Willow feels more confused than ever.

4

"I'm telling you, I'll never get 'em. I'll never understand women, long as I live" Faith nods, taking another pull on her beer.

"Faith?" Amy looks at her, half amused. " You _are_ a woman!"

" Huh?" Faith looks at her slightly out of focus. " Oh…yeah. Well, I don't get me, either, 'K?"

Amy and Faith have been sitting at the Bronze for awhile. Faith much longer than Amy, however, and much farther along in the drinking department.

" Faith, I think maybe you've had enough?" Amy looks a little worried. _What would an out of control Faith be like? Do I really want to know? _"Maybe we should call it a night?"

" Huh? What? What're you talking about? We're celebrating! I've got a new town to conquer, fight the bad guys, and hey, I'm finally done with the Misery Sisters. I think that calls for another drink!" She looks at Amy, seeing her look. " Oh, for god's sake, Amy. I'm not drunk! I'm fine! Geeze, what is it about this town? Can't you be a little buzzed and happy? Is there like a law against it?"

" No, I guess not, " Amy smiles. " I'll get us another beer." Amy stands up. Faith catches her hand.

" See? You're cool. Why couldn't they just be cool?" Faith shakes her head." I don't get them. I just don't." She looks at Amy. " You're a good friend, Amy. You know that?"

" Thanks Faith, " Amy smiles her crooked little smile. " I believed you the other 5 times you told me that."

" Oh." Faith pauses. " Well, you are."

" Thanks, Faith," Amy extracts herself from Faith, " I'll be right back."

" 'K"

Faith takes two of the beer bottles and puts them in front of her.

Let's see. Blondie, " She taps one of the bottles, " and Red." She taps the other. " You two… you don't play fair, you know? You both get me to love you, then you walk away. Not fair, you know? And I suppose you want me to choose between you now. How'm I supposed to do that, huh?" She picks up the bottles, and puts them over towards the edge of the table. " I don't want to look at you anymore. Buncha buzz kills. Nope, me and Amy? We're celebrating. I'm outta this dump, and hey, I couldn't be happier!"

" Who're you talking to, Faith?" Amy sits down, giving Faith a beer.

" The gloomy twins," She points at the bottles. " Buffy and Willow…what a set of buzz kills, you know?" She leans into Amy, " I moved them so they wouldn't ruin the party, ok?"

" Sure, Faith, " Amy says, taking a drink of her beer. _Ok, gotta get her home. Now probably would be good._

" Yeah, we don't need any party poops here." She smiles at Amy. " you know what? I wanted to thank you."

" Huh?" Amy's surprised. " For what?"

" Well, first of all, for Sami. You were right, she's a genius. She saved my hair. That was sooo cool!"

" Hey, no prob. I like your hair, looks like a mane now. Fits you."

" Thanks." Faith smiles. " Also for this." Faith pulls out the charm Amy gave her. " Really nice to do that for me."

" It was no big. Thought it might help." Amy shrugs off the compliment. " Glad you liked it."

" Just wish I'd had one of these when I came to Sunnyhell, " Faith says, fingering the charm.

" Why?" Amy doesn't get it.

" Cuz, then, I wouldn't of been descended on by Buffy and Willow, and I'd be a whole lot better off," Faith says. She sees Amy's look. " Well, B, she was evil, hell we know that. and Willow? Oh, she's trickier. But Evil. Oh yeah. Pretends to be all nice and caring and shit, then laughs when she … aw, fuck it. Maybe you're right. Maybe I've had too much to drink."

_Whew!_

" Let's go, I'll getcha home safe," Faith says, getting up. Then grabbing the table to keep from losing balance. " Hey, who's screwin' with the room?"

" Faith, maybe I should get you home?" Amy says, coming over to her.

" That's silly. I'm the slayer, I'll escort you. I'm not drunk, I told you!" Faith says, " just, someone's screwin' with the room."

" Ok, take me home," Amy smiles. _We'll just swing by your place first._

Amy and Faith are walking down Revello drive towards Faith. Amy has put Faith's arm over her shoulder, just to keep her on track. _She keeps wandering off. Hard to get her to go straight._

"It's a nice night, " Faith comments. She looks over at Amy. " Did I say thanks, by the way? Hate to drink alone… well, I don't, really, but it's nice to have someone to celebrate with, you know?"

" Well, thanks for the invite to your little party, " Amy says, a little dubiously, " It was… interesting" _if a bit obsessive._

" You know something?" Faith says, looking at Amy.

"Hmmm?" Amy says, thinking more how she's going to get home, away from Faith.

" I don't think you realize it, but you're really quite pretty, " Faith says.

" Oh. Well, thank you, Faith, " Amy smiles, " You're quite … well, I don't need to tell you. I'm sure you know you're what they call a hottie."

" A girl never gets tired of hearing it, you know, " Faith says, softly.

" Well, I think this is you're stop, " Amy tries to divert the conversation. " Thank you for a nice time."

" Amy?"

" Yes… oomph!" Amy suddenly finds herself in Faith's arms, being kissed rather warmly. _Oh god!_ She gently pushes Faith away. She backs away a step or two.

" Oh…God, I'm sorry, Amy. I…" Faith looks stricken.

" Oh…no, Faith, " Amy approaches her cautiously, " Ummm… that was very nice. If I swung that way, I'd be quite… weak kneed. But, I drive strictly stick." She pats Faith on the shoulder.

" I'm just so… god, look, please, I've had a bit too much. I…God," Faith runs up the stairs.

Amy looks at her, watches to be sure she gets inside.

_Poor girl. She's got it bad._

_But Damn, quite a kisser!_

5

Faith lets herself into the house very, very quietly.

She's doing everything with a very, very… sort of the exaggerated caution one uses when trying to sneak in, or very drunk. Both true in this case.

" Joyce," Faith calls out very, very softly, " Are you home?" She looks at her watch, with intense seriousness. _Of course she's home, goofy. It's…ummm… very late. All good people are home way before now. Well, no good people here then! Yup!_

She giggles softly, and heads for the kitchen. _Hungry. Way wicked hungry. Totally, awesomely hungry. Wonder if there's something left over from dinner. Ooops. I was supposed to be here for dinner. Bad me. Tsk, tsk, You're the naughty one, Faithy!_

Faith finds her stride has become rather weave-y in the last few minutes, and her hips keep seeming to direct her into tables and things. " Oops, sorry," She holds a table she runs into, keeping it from falling over and crashing. " Why don't you be more careful, little table? You might run into somebody!" She giggles. She stands for a moment, looking confused. _What was I doing again? Oh yeah, food. Yummy! And watch out for those crazy tables. They seem to be all over the place tonight!_

She makes her way into the kitchen, only knocking into one chair before getting there. _I am so not drunk! How dare you say I'm drunk. You ran into me, chair. I think it's been YOU that's been drinking, you naughty!_ She walks over to the fridge, and opens it, bending over to survey the goodies.

_Hmmm…let's see…oooo. Roast beast! I want that!_ She pulls out the platter with the Chicken on it, putting it on the counter. _Let's see… potatoes. Oh definitely. … Ummm… cauliflower? Geeze…no way. Icky! Should have a veggie… hmmm… corn…ok, that's good. Like corn. Ok… oooo…pie! I love pie! Gotta have that!_

Giggling, she looks at food, mouth starting to water. She pulls off a leg from the chicken, and starts munching on it. _Mmmm… mom makes the best roast beast. Now…where is a plate. _ " Plate… oh plate!" She calls out in a soft, sing song voice. " Where are you hiding?" She spots the dish drainer, seeing a washed plate sitting in it. " There you are, you silly!" She weaves over to the plate, crashing her hip into the counter. She slaps the counter. " Bad, bad counter. Where'd _you _ come from?" She grabs the plate, and heads back to the food.

She pulls off some chicken, and puts it on the plate. " Oh damn, I need a spoon…for the potatoes…hmmm." She looks at the potatoes seriously. " Why didn't you remind me about a spoon, goofy potatoes?" She turns around, but doesn't see a spoon in the drainer. " Well, that sucks!" she turns back to the potatoes. " Well, I guess we gotta get creative, huh?" She reaches in the bowl, and scoops out some potatoes with her hand, plopping them on the plate. " Shhh… don't tell anyone, 'k?" She looks at her potato covered hand. " Darn, that's no good." She looks at the sink, and smiles. She turns on the tap, rinsing off her hand. " See, easy as cake. Piece of pie!" she looks at the pie. " Ah HAH! Thought I'd forgotten about you, didn't you!" She looks at the drainer, seeing a knife. " Yes!" She starts over, then remembers her hand is wet. " Towel…where's the towel? Oh, screw it!" She wipes her hand on her jeans. She gets the knife, then sees a spoon and fork. " Well, there you are! Hiding from me, bad spoon!"

She walks back over, and after cutting off a big piece of pie, she looks at the plate. " Cold. No good cold. Damn." She stands thinking about it a minute, then her face lights up. "Microwave!" _I'm so smart,_ she thinks as she carries the plate over to the micro. She opens the door, and shoves the plate in. She closes the door, and presses the button.

Nothing happens.

Faith frowns.

" Hey, what's wrong with you?" She jabs at the button. Nothing happens. " C'mon, work ,you stupid." She jabs it again.

A flashlight beam crosses her face, and she shuts her eyes tightly. " What the…?" She puts up her hands. " I didn't do it, Officer, honest. It was her!" She points at the air next to her.

" Faith?" Joyce asks, " is that you?"

" Joyce!" Faith smiles broadly. " Hi, Joyce!"

" Faith? You can put your hands down now," Joyce says, sounding a little worried. _What's wrong with her?_

" Oh. Yeah. Heh, " Faith lowers her arms. " Hey, Joyce, how are ya?"

" I'm fine, dear. A little startled to find someone in my kitchen at 2:30 in the morning. Are you ok?"

" Fine. Peaches, Joyce, Georgia peaches, you know? Finest kind!" She frowns." I think the microwave is busted. It won't nuke my food!"

Joyce approaches Faith warily, and entering the kitchen flips on the light.

" Whoa! Light. Wow! " Faith says, still grinning.

Joyce comes over to the microwave, and looks at it. " You didn't enter a time, honey."

" I didn't?" Faith looks at the display. " Gee, I guess I didn't, did I?" She punches in some numbers, and hits the start button. It starts working. " Well, who woulda thought it!"

" Faith, why aren't you out on patrol?" Joyce is growing more concerned by the minute.

Faith leans over, putting an arm around Joyce's shoulders. She puts her finger up to her lips. " Shhh… playin' hooky!" She giggles." Don't tell Giles. He'll get all stern and watchery!"

Joyce waves the air in front of her face. _80 proof breath. Not good._ " Faith, hon. Have you been drinking?"

" Huh? No! er… well, ok, maybe a little. But, I so am not drunk. I don't care WHAT the table tells you!" She finds this funny, and bursts out laughing. The timer goes off on the microwave. " Cool. Foods done!" She reaches for the microwave's handle.

" Honey, go sit at the table. I'll bring this in to you. Ok?" Joyce gently pushes Faith towards the dining room table.

" You will? You'd do that for me?" Faith gets a big smile on her face. " You're the best Joyce!" She hugs her. Then giggles. " Joyce. Heh." She walks towards the dining room table. Well, weaves might be a better description.

_Oh boy. What happened now?_

Joyce looks at the mess on the counter, and closes her eyes, as if in pain. She then retrieves the plate from the microwave. The pie, a chocolate cream pie, has melted over the other food. _Oh, dear._ She carefully carries the plate over to the sink, and rinses the mess down into the garbage disposal. She gets another plate, and cuts some chicken, and getting a spoon from the drawers, scoops some potatoes on the plate, along with the corn. She puts it in the microwave, and turns it on.

" Where's my food, Joyce? I'm starved!"

" Ummm… I'm making you another. There was an accident with the first plate."

" Really…" Faith gets up, and walks to the kitchen doorway. " Hey, Joyce. I think something's up. I think the house is possessed by a demon or somethin."

" I'm sorry?"

" Well, everything's acting all weird. The tables come out and run into you, and the chairs are all funkly. Now the plates are being bad. Yup. Sounds like a possession," Faith sighs. " Wish Red was here. She could do that hocus pocus stuff and scare away the bad old ghosty." She gets a serious look on her face. " Where'd Red go again? Oh yeah… Ohio… yeah… why'd she leave again?" She thinks some more. " Oh. I remember. Never mind." She wanders back into the dining room.

Joyce retrieves the plate from the microwave, and carries into Faith, who seems to have become quiet.

" Can I get you something to drink, honey? Juice, milk, extra strong black coffee?"

" Huh? Why'd I want coffee? Want me to be up all night…oh, I mean all day?" She looks at Joyce and cocks her head. " You think I'm drunk! I told you, I so am not drunk. Just a little buzzed, maybe. Maybe!" She looks at Joyce hopefully. " Gotta beer?" She sees Joyce's expression. " Ok, ok, I guess water. Whatta party poop!" Faith starts digging into her food.

Joyce gets the water, and returns.

" I mean. We're celebrating, right? Shouldn't we have a drink or two…or whatever?"

" Celebrating?" Joyce asks, confused.

" Yeah, I'm going on a trip. Don't you celebrate when you go on a trip?"

" Trip? I don't understand."

" The council. The old fuddys. They think I'm not needed here. They think I'm needed somewhere else. Sooo, they're sending me away. Far, far away!" She frowns. " Well, they didn't say where, actually, but I bet it's far!"

" The Watcher's council is sending you away?" Joyce shakes her head. " When did this happen."

" Oh…ummm… not sure. G just tole me couple days ago…I think… I meant to tell you. Didn't I tell you?"

" No, Faith. You didn't."

" Oh." Faith frowns. " That's the shits, you know? I mean… JOYCE!"

" What?"

" You just swore!"

" I didn't swear!"

" I heard you. You said shits. Naughty, naughty Joyce!" She waggles her finger at Joyce.

" Honey, you said shits, not me."

" Ah, got you to say it!" Faith giggles. Then frowns." It's totally the shits." She looks up at Joyce, sad faced. " Why're they sending me away? Was I bad?"

" Bad? No, sweetheart, you weren't bad," Joyce is still trying to process her going away. " Maybe they just needed you somewhere else."

" No! I was bad. Because I… I was bad!" Faith stops eating." I was really bad. I feel for Buffy, then I fell for Willow, and I … bad, really bad… and Buffy told me to get lost, and Willow left me, and now they're sending me away. I was a bad, bad girl!"

" Faith, I don't understand. You fell for Willow?" Joyce looks confused.

" Willow? Oh yeah, she called today, here, you know. Wanted to talk to you…didn't I leave a note?" Faith looks upset. " God, I'm totally bad! No wonder they're sending me away!"

" Faith, honey, it's ok, " Joyce reassures her. " Willow called?"

" Yeah… she wanted to see how you were doing, " Faith stops. " How are ya, Joyce?"

_Confused. Worried. Surprised. Oh, and what the hell's going on with you and Willow and Buffy?_

" Faith, dear, none of this is making sense." She looks at her carefully. " Why're you calling me Joyce all of a sudden?"

" Don't matter, cuz I gotta go." Faith suddenly gets a sick looking expression on her face. She stands up suddenly, knocking over her chair. " Oh… I gotta…go!'

" Faith!"

Faith runs out like her butt's on fire. Her boots are heard on the stairs. Then there's the sound of a door, and the sounds of retching.

" Oh goodness," Joyce says, getting up. She looks at the ceiling. " Ok you up there laughing at me. Are you trying to make me prematurely gray?"

She rushes out and up the stairs. She finds a very sick looking Faith holding onto the toilet bowl. Faith looks up, her face pale, her eyes red and puffy. She looks at Joyce.

" What's wrong with me? Why don't the want me anymore? Don't you want me anymore? Am I really that bad? I … oh crap…" She leans over the bowl, and retches again.

Joyce comes over, holding Faith's head as she brings up everything she's been drinking over the last day. Faith lifts her head, groaning a little.

" I've been really bad, haven't I?" She leans back over for another volley.

" No, honey, no. Not bad. Not at all."

Joyce holds her, rubbing her back.

_Just sad, dear. Just really sad._

5

Helen Stone looks around the club, feeling rather out of place and more than a little nervous.

_Why did she insist on meeting here? _ Helen thought to herself as once again some large fellow brushes against her, almost making her spill her tonic water. _This is highly unusual and most inappropriate!_

Helen is Faith's new watcher. Dressed conservatively in a knee length gray skirt, white collared blouse and gray sweater held on to her shoulders by a chain guard, she was rather out of place in the club.

Helen is young for a watcher. 25, she's one of the youngest members of the council. She dresses in a manner to appear older, her makeup is minimal, and her hair, a deep red color, is tied up in a tight bun on her head. Perhaps her best feature are her eyes; large, startlingly sky blue.

She was quite surprised when she was given this assignment: to be watcher to the current slayer. This was the ultimate job for a watcher: The Slayer's watcher.

It wasn't until she read Faith's file that she began to get a glimmer of why she was given the job. Faith has been a rebellious slayer since the beginning of her career. Once termed rogue, she now was the only slayer left after Buffy Summers died. She noticed an addendum: That Ms. Summers had been restored to life, but lost her slayer powers. _Restored to life? That doesn't happen… ever._

She knew now they'd set her up to fail. No one wanted to deal with this slayer. Stick her on the new girl, let her get it when Faith goes bad again. _Well, I might just surprise those pompous asses on the council_

Despite her colorful record, the thing that stood out most about Faith was that she was a concurrent slayer. _She was the slayer at the time that another active slayer was alive. That's never happened before. Ever. I wonder if that might have something to do with her spotty history?_

Helen sighs impatiently, looking at her watch. _Where is she? She told me to meet her here at 8:00 sharp, and it's … 8:33. This is highly rude. I'm going to have to speak to her about manners. You don't set an appointment, then just break it without any ..._

" Excuse me" A voice , low and a little sultry, brings her back to reality. She looks up and is somewhat taken aback.

Standing before her is a rather startlingly dressed young woman, around her age. She has a mane of dark brown hair, and the eyes to match. Her face is made up rather boldly, emphasizing her eyes and lips.

Her costume is rather on the daring side. A black push up bustier( _Doesn't appear she needs it, however,_ Helen noted) is covered by a black leather bomber jacket. The sleeves have been pushed up her arms, revealing silver tooled black leather gauntlets on each wrist. Her hands are covered in black fingerless gloves, and all her fingers, . including her thumbs, have silver rings.

The woman looks like she's been poured into her black leather pants. She can't see them, but she imagines the girl is wearing boots to match. The only jewelry she has on, besides the rings, is a small silver cross hanging on her neck.

" May I help you?" Helen asks.

" I dunno. You Helen Stone?" Faith asks, smirking at her. _In this joint, who the hell else could she be?_

" Yes, I am... are you Faith Lehane?"

" That's me, " Faith nods.

_Oh, dear. She seems to be rather… worse than I expected._

" Well, do be seated, please. We have much to discuss." Helen indicates the vacant seat across from her.

Faith sits, watching the watcher rather warily. She doesn't look overjoyed to see her.

" You're my new watcher. What do we got to talk about?" Faith asks, her tone slightly edgy.

" Well, for one thing, you have a rather … colorful history, Faith. I think we need to discuss exactly what the council's expectations of you are."

_Expectations? Oh, this should be fun!_

" Please, go ahead. Don't let me get in the way of your little spiel, lady." Faith holds up a hand. " Actually, wait. I could use a beer. Might make this go down easier. What you drinking?"

" Faith, I hardly feel this is the time to be imbibing in alcoholic spirits. We have a lot to discuss, and I prefer both our heads be clear when we do so."

" Ok, you don't want anything to drink. I'm still getting the beer." Faith gets up.

" Uhhh… could I have a tonic water? I suspect they don't have tea here."

" Good guess. Tonic water? Oh, you mean…got it." Faith walks to the bar.

_Hmmm… cheeky little tart. I think we're going to have to put things in order right away._

Faith returns , setting a glass of seltzer in front of Helen. She takes a seat across from her, and takes a pull on her longneck.

" There you go, get wild, " Faith says, smirking.

" Faith, I really believe we need to discuss first of all what is expected of you as a slayer," Helen sips the seltzer, and makes a face. She puts it down." As your watcher, I am your direct link to the council . All your assignments as a slayer will come through me, based upon the situation at hand. Is that clear so far?"

" I got it. You're boss of me, and you give the orders. "

" Yes, I guess that's one way to put it. But we're a team, Faith. I'm here to work with you. Mold you into a better slayer. Supervise you're training, and test you on your knowledge. There are many new, and exciting things I can show you Faith."

Faith nods. _She's kidding me, right?_

" The point I'm making Faith, is I'm not here to just ' boss you around.' I'm here to work with you."

" Ah, so you wanna go with and kill vamps then?" Faith grins. " I think you'll need something a little less… watchery… to do that."

" No, of course not! I'm your watcher. The slayer slays, and the watcher…"

" Watches. Kinky."

Helen sighs." Faith, are you deliberately obtuse? Or is it genetic?"

" I bet you think I don't know what obtuse means, don't ya? No, I'm not stupid. If I were stupid, I'd be dead. Usually, arranged by the very same council you represent. So, no, I'm not stupid. Suspicious, yes."

" I'm sorry, I'm not understanding you. Are you accusing the council of attempting to murder you?"

" You followed along real good there, sister. Yeah, pretty much. They had more than one of my fellow… guests… come at me. Several times. But that's old news, right? We're all buddy buddy now. So, continue. Please. I'm fascinated."

" I'm sorry, Faith. I simply don't believe you. I work for the Watcher's Council. Not … what… Murder, Inc."

"There's a diff? Oh, there I go again, being all… what? Paranoid? Gee, guess after getting almost stabbed a few times, you get a little paranoid."

" You know, " Helen says, showing some annoyance. " You could at least give me a chance. You're upset by perceived slights. But you yourself seem to be slighting me before you even give me an opportunity to work with you."

Faith leans back in her chair, gazing at the woman across from her. She frowns slightly.

" You gotta point. I dissed you before letting you have your say. Ok. But I'm tellin' you now, because I respect you for having the guts to come in here looking like that, that I don't trust you. You or your council. We clear?"

" Perfectly," Helen nods.

" Then, go for it. I'm listening."

Helen thinks for a moment. " Actually, that's pretty much it. I want to work with you, Faith, to make you a better slayer. That'll keep you alive. I do expect that you give me a daily report of your slayer activities, and of course, any assignment I give you, I expect you to carry out. That's pretty much it. Any questions?"

" Not really. Couple of comments."

" Ok, please."

" Ok, I told you about the trust thing, so I'm not gonna pretend like you're a moron and repeat it, " Faith can't help getting in the dig. " Now, as for this daily report crap? Well, princess, here's the deal. You want a daily report, you come by my place. I work all night, and I take a run in the morning, sleep and then get up and eat and work out, then go to work again. So, either get to my place around 6 a.m., or after 3 p.m. if you want this report of yours. I'm not comin' to you. As I said, not big on the trust, and I'm not going anywhere were I might find some friendly council folks pointing AK-47's at me."

" Faith, I told you, nothing like that…"

" Ok, Hell, I've shown you respect enough to acknowledge maybe you're on the level with me and that you're not stupid. I'm gonna play you straight, so don't make me remind you, I'm not stupid. I don't trust you, I don't trust that bunch of fat-asses you work for. You come to me. At least, until you show me you're gonna play me straight. Am I clear? This isn't negotiable."

Helen considers it a moment. " All right, that's acceptable. However I'll need your address…"

" Nope. I'll meet you somewhere. For now, I really don't want visitors. Specially of the council kind."

" You really don't trust me, do you?"

" You're smart. You catch on fast. I like that," Faith smirks.

" Well, I'm hardly meeting you here, " Helen looks around at the club.

" What's wrong? Don't like the ambience, Hell?"

" Helen. My name is Helen. Or Ms. Stone. Not Hell"

" Fine, whatever… Helen." But Faith smiles. She appreciates someone standing up for themselves." Ok, not here. I know a little coffee shop not too far from here. Got a pen, _Helen_?"

" I guess," She digs through her purse, producing a pen.

Faith snatches it, and before she can do anything, snatches her hand, She turns it over, and acts as if she's going to write on it.

" What are you doing! Stop that!" Helen says, trying to pull her hand away.

Faith laughs, and lets her go.

" Just messin' with ya, Helen, " She digs around in her pocket and produces a scrap of paper. She writes an address on it. " This is the place. Meet me there around… oh, 4:30 p.m. or so. Then we can chat while I'm eating breakfast. 'K?"

" Breakfast? At 4:30? "

" I work nights, remember? I sleep all day."

" Right. Very well. 4:30 then, " Helen says, putting the piece of paper in her purse.

They sit silently for a few moments.

" So, we done here?" Faith asks.

" I suppose we are, Faith," Helen says. " Was there anything else you wanted to know?"

" Not really…" Faith pauses. " Ok, look. We're not friends. Not looking for a friend. All I want is to be able to trust you. Don't screw with me, and we'll get along peaches, ok?"

" Very well, and as you would say, ditto."

" Yeah, well anyway. I'm gone. Got stuff to do. Places to be, monsters to kill. Later." Faith stands up. She takes on last look at Helen, shakes her head, and leaves.

Helen watches her leave, then reaches into her purse. She pulls out a cell phone. She dials a number and waits for an answer.

" Hello, yes this is Helen. Yes, I've made contact with her." She listens to the other end. " Yes, well… I have to admit, it's a little disturbing. She's dressing like she used to. Yes leather and … right." She pauses to listen. " Her attitude? Definitely paranoid, and I sense some anger. Hmmm? Considering what she's been through, I think it's more than justified. No, no… I don't think she's ready to ' go off' again. I think it's more like a statement than… yes, she was suspicious… but of the council's motives. She doesn't like the council very much. Oh, yes, I'm sure you were aware of that… what? No, actually, all considered, she behaved very well. Yes… no, I told you, she doesn't suspect you're involvement. No, I'm sure of it. " Helen sighs. " Look, Mr. Giles, I know you think I'm a ' child', but I'm very capable, and discreet. Yes. I'll keep you informed. Very good. Well, good night then."

Helen closes the phone, and sits for awhile , thinking. A small smile comes to her face.

She stashes the phone in her purse, and standing up, makes her way to the exit.

To be continued.


	18. Chapter 17

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 17

Disclaimer: Joss, Mutant Enemy, Inc. and Fox own the characters that appeared on the TV Shows " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Ok, we knew that. Original characters and the story belong to the author's. Who else would want them, huh? And this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone living, dead or living in Poughkeepsie, is a coincidence. Really. Just a coincidence. I swear.

1

Faith surveyed the area with a small frown. She'd been here before, way too many times. She always got the same feeling in her gut.

_Figures. Full of vamps, monsters, losers and rejects. Welcome to clubbing on the Hellmouth. God how I missed it… Not!_

She walked into the club, and was hit by the odor of too many bodies combined with too much perfume, and the particular stinky odor of desperation. _Doesn't change, no matter where you go. People hanging around, all trying to be cool while hoping Joe or Jane Normal will notice them. Lookin' for somethin they don't even know they want. A little touch, a little caring, someone to see them and not think they losers. They're losers, but for a moment, they so want to be somethin' else. At least to someone, they want to be somebody. Have somebody to give a fuck about 'em. Yeah, that's gonna happen._

Faith weaves her way through the overcrowded dance floor, and makes it to the bar. _Yeah, and this is three deep with more of the cattle, tryin' to blast their minds away hoping that'll make 'em forget how lonely they are. _

_You're a good one to talk, Faithy. Whatcha doin' here, if not tryin' to forget how … aw, fuck the self pity crap._

" Hey, you… the one with the crappy shirt… can I get a beer here?" Faith calls out.

The bartender turns to Faith, and half grins. " Oh, swell, my nights complete. Leather girl's here to insult me… again."

" Yeah, well, if you let your mommy dress you, expect the worst, pal." She smirks, " So, where's my beer?"

" Exactly how many cows you have to kill to get that outfit, again?" The bartender takes a mug and starts to draw down a draft.

" Aw, baby, don't ya like?" Faith does a little shrug, " We can't all wear polyester so good as you do."

The bartender puts the beer on the bar, " Hey, not polyester. Cotton. 100 percent"

" Ya huh. That's cotton spelled " R-A-Y-O-N" huh?" Faith grins, putting a bill on the bar.

" Yeah, well, at least I don't wear the barnyard on me. God, doesn't that like ever get hot?" The bartender hands her some change.

" Mmmm, you'd love that, wouldn't ya, baby? Me all hot and sweaty ?" Faith arches a brow. " Not gonna happen, with you anyway. But you'd love it."

" Oh yeah, that'd make my night. Stinky animal skins adding to the already crappy air in this place. I'm getting hot thinking about it, " The bartender waves her off. " No, wait. I'm not, actually."

" Aw, what's wrong, sugar? Don't you like girls?" Faith pouts her lip. " Gee, I thought we had somethin' special here."

"We do, babe," He leans over, " You payin' me. I know I treasure it."

" What can I say?" Faith winks at him," I'm a sucker for a pretty face. Pimples and all."

" Gotta go. Some of us work for a living. On our feet, anyway." He moves down the bar, chuckling.

Faith grins, and leans back against the bar. She looks around for a table, and spots an empty one. _Well, gotta be my lucky night._ She slips through the crowd, carefully carrying her mug so not to spill. She finally makes it, and is just sitting down when another girl slips into the seat next to hers.

" Excuse me, baby, but this table's taken, " Faith says, looking a little annoyed.

The girl doesn't move, except to look over her shoulder. She looks back at Faith and smiles, then looks over her shoulder again.

" Princess? You deaf? I said, this table's occupado. Maybe you should move on now?" Faith puts a little growl in her voice.

The girl turns back, and smiles, a little embarrassedly, " Hey, I'm really sorry. But I kinda saw you sit down, and hopin' you could do me a favor, you know, woman to woman? I got this creep that's been following me all night, and I can't shake him. Hoping maybe if he sees I'm with a 'friend' he'll back off."

" Uh-huh… and I should do this… why?" Faith asks," Why don't you just tell him to back off?"

" I did. He didn't" She says, looking a little desperate. She looks over her shoulder again.

" Well, you could leave."

" Why should I have to leave because of some jerk-o? All I want to do is have a little fun, dance a little. Didn't plan on some asshole getting puppy dog on me, " She looks at Faith, " C'mon, just til he gets the idea I'm not interested. Then I'll get gone. Ok?"

" What makes you think the jerk's not gonna come over here and give me a hard time?"

" Oh, please. He'll take one look at you and turn tail. You look kinda…"

" Butch, " Faith says flatly.

" Was gonna say dangerous…" She shrugs.

" So, you're choosing dangerous over annoying? Did you really think about this real close like?"

" Well, I said looked dangerous. Didn't think you were dangerous, " She looks a little nervous. " Are you?"

" Heck no, I'm a regular fluffy kitten, " Faith sneers. " Maybe annoying isn't lookin' so bad now?"

Annoying shows at the table. He looks a little perturbed. " Hey, Jen. Why'd you take off? I thought we were having a good time. " He looks at Faith. " Who's this?"

" Uh…uh…uh…" Jen stutters, a little out to sea.

" Honey, again?" Faith sounds hurt and annoyed. " God, I can't take you anywhere you don't go messing around on me."

" huh?" The guy looks confused.

" Girlfriends? Can you believe them? I take her out, buy her dinner, take her dancing, and she's always going around makin' time with the guys. " Faith reaches over and cups Jen's head with her hand. " Gee, baby, I thought you liked the new toy I bought for ya. Aren't I enough, baby?"

" Bu…bu…but…" Jen stutters.

" You… you're like… a lesbo?" The guy looks a little shocked. Then amused. Then interested. " I don't suppose…"

" Sorry, baby. Strictly drive auto. No stick shiftin' here, " Faith says. " Anyway, this bitch has a lot to answer for. Don't ya, Jen honey?" Faith growls at Jen." C'mon, bitch, I'm tired of you fuckin' around on me. What you got to say to me?"

" I'm… I'm sorry?" Jen looks confused and a little scared.

" Not good enough, girl" Faith reaches down to her leg , and pulls out a wicked looking knife. " Not near good enough". She lays it on the table , her hand on the hilt.

The guy's eyes go wide. He starts to back off. Jen looks at the knife, and she goes white.

" M-Maybe I should leave you two alone," He says, voice quavering. " I … can see you got a lot to talk about."

" Yeah, maybe, " Faith nods. " Maybe go back to your buddies, and try hittin' on someone else's girlfriend, 'K?" She stares at him.

" Yeah…good idea. Bye" He takes off without looking back.

Jen is still staring at the knife.

" Would ya look at him go, " Faith starts to laugh. " Haven't had that much fun…shit, can't remember when."

" Uh… thanks…" Jen can't take her eyes off the knife." Really… but maybe I should go now…" She starts to get up.

" What? You scared? Oh…is it this?" Faith picks up the knife, twirling it. " It's just a prop, Jen. Did you see his face when I pulled it out?"

" Looks kinda real, " Jen says, watching the knife carefully.

"Well, duh, it is. What good's a fake knife, huh?" She sees Jen's expression." Shit girl, I wasn't gonna use it. Just pulled it to scare him. Worked too." She puts the knife back in its sheath. " Didn't you say you had to go?"

" Ok…well, thanks again, " Jen says, getting up. " I owe you."

" Whatever, " Faith waves it off. " Kinda fun."

Jen hesitates. " Ummm…well, thanks." She turns and starts away. Then stops. " Hey, can I like, buy you a beer or something? I mean… you did get that creep off my back."

" Gotta beer, thanks," Faith says, lifting the beer and taking a swallow. She makes a face. " Ummm… well, now that you mention it… kinda warm." She smiles at Jen, " Ok, sold. You can buy me a beer."

Jen smiles back at her. " What kind? What do you like?"

" Whatever's on tap," Faith says.

" Ok, great," Jen says. She stands for a moment, looking at Faith.

" Did I grow a third eye or somethin'?"

" No, sorry…" Jen smiles nervously." Beer, right." She turns and walks towards the bar.

Faith watches her go, shaking her head and chuckling. _Space cadet. Man, why do I attract the nut jobs?_

Jen returns after a few, carrying two beers. She sets one down for Faith, and starts to sit down herself.

" Ummm… whatcha doin'?" Faith asks, staring at Jen.

" Sitting down? I thought…"

" Thought wrong, sis. I got rid of Bozo for ya, Now, scoot. "

"… you might want some company?"

" No. Not really. Bye." Faith takes a sip of her beer. " Thanks again for the beer." She turns away from Jen, looking at the dance floor.

Jen stands there, looking a little puzzled and somewhat put out. She's not used to being ignored. Or dismissed, for that matter.

Jen is petite, with strawberry blonde hair, dark blue eyes, and a perky little nose. She has a nice figure, and dresses to advantage, tonight in light blue dress and sandals. Usually, she's rather the center of attention.

Now she's being ignored, and she's not all that happy about it.

" Excuse me, " She says.

" You still here? " Faith looks at her. " What's the deal? Thought you wanted to have fun. Lots o' guys probably drool all over you , if you go away and find them. So, go away." Faith turns away.

" Why're you being so hostile? All I wanted…"

" Really not looking to know what you want, princess. Really just looking to enjoy my beer. So, go, 'K?"

"No. Not until you tell me why you're being so rude."

" Rude?" Faith looks surprised, " What, because I'm not what, fawning over you, girlfriend? Well, here's the deal. This is my night off. Came in to have a beer , maybe dance a little later. Not lookin' for anything more. Really not looking to waste my time stroking your ego, listening to your sorority stories, 'k? So, be nice, and go find some hormonal boy that'll follow you around tell you you're special. Bye -bye."

" All I want to do is be friendly. Why're you being so…"

" What? Bitchy? " Faith smirks. " Look, I didn't invite you here. Don't wanna play with you, princess. I don't get chosen, I choose. Not looking to choose you, for any reason. So, go away. Before I start getting pissed." She reaches for her beer, takes a drink, makes a face. " ok, now I'm pissed, that's the second beer you've fucked up for me. Tell you what. You take the table, I'll go." Faith gets up. Jen steps in her way. " Wouldn't do that." she doesn't move. " Move." She still doesn't move. Faith lifts her, puts her out of the way. " Bye now." Faith walks away.

She gets about 5 feet when something hits her in the back. Hard. She turns around, and sees a beer mug, now shattered, on the floor. And a very scared looking Jen, looking at her.

" Well, ok, princess. Now you got me pissed. Really pissed" Faith growls at her. She starts back towards her.

" Wait… I was just trying to get your attention…" She backs away.

" Oh, you got it, all right," Faith says, grapping her and slinging her over her shoulder. " I think you need to be put out… like a dog."

Faith starts going through the crowd, Jen over her shoulder.

" No…please…don't… stop her, someone… she's going to…"

" Shit, not gonna do nothin but throw you outta here. Think I got that comin', seeing how you tried to clobber me…"

A couple of guys step in the way, to stop her. Faith just glares at them.

" Put the girl down," the taller of the two says." She doesn't want to go with you."

" Oh? Really? And who's gonna stop me?" She gives him a disparaging look." You?" She laughs.

He takes a swing, but she blocks it. Her foot comes up, kicking him where it hurts most. He grabs himself, and goes down on his knees. Her toe connects with his face, finishing him off.

His friend comes at her, and she twirls around, using Jen's legs like a stick, knocking him back. She sets Jen on the bar.

" Stay, or it's gonna be a whole lot worse for you."

" OK," Jen says, in a frightened little girl voice.

Faith turns around just in time to block a punch. But another Galahad gets into the fight, and his punch lands square on her cheek. Her head snaps sideways, and she reels back. She shakes it off, and touches her mouth. A little blood comes off on her fingers where he cut her lip.

" Nice one, dude. First blood. Let's see how you like this," She kicks him in the stomach, then brings her fists together on his head when he bends over,

Someone jumps on her back, and she flips him over and off, into the crowd that's gathered to watch.

That does it. The brawl takes on a new dimension as everyone starts to join in. Some don't even know what the hell the fight's about; they just want to fight.

Pretty soon the whole club's involved. Chairs are flying this way and that. Faith is moving around, punching here, kicking there, and fighting a couple of guys at a time. She's having a blast.

Everybody's having a blast, matter of fact, until the sound of a double barreled shot gun going off brings things to a speedy halt.

Jen is cowering on the bar, as the bartender brings the gun down and aims it straight at Faith.

" You, leather girl. Get your ass over here, now." The bartender shouts. He pumps the gun.

Faith raises her hands slowly, and walks towards the bar. " Honest, Pizza face, he started it" She points somewhere into the crowd. " Well, one of them did."

The bartender points the gun at Faith's chest. " Yeah, well I'm ending it. God, shoulda known you'd be trouble, dyke, when you came in. Get your ass outta here, less you want a double load in it." He nods towards Jen. " And take your trash out with you."

Jen turns to the bartender, pleading." Please, please don't make me go. She's nuts. She'll kill me!"

The bartender looks around his club, lips tight. " And I should care… why?"

" Hey pal!" Faith says.

" What?" He looks back at her.

Faith grabs the shot gun barrel, pointing it up and grabbing it away from the bartender. She points it back at him. He backs off, starting to sweat.

" These things? Never helpful." She cracks the gun, emptying the load. " Well, guess I'll be on my way now." She goes over and grabs Jen, flinging her over her shoulder. She waves the gun around like a club. " Any objections?"

There's a large silence in the club that speaks volumes.

" Didn't think so."

Faith strides quickly towards the exit, Jen over her shoulder.

" Please, someone … help! She's going to kill me… she's nuts! Help!" Jen calls out to the crowd, waving her hands frantically as she and Faith disappear through the doorway. A second later, the shotgun flies back in the door, which then slams shut.

Faith carries her a little down the back alley, Jen still calling for help. Faith heaves her off her shoulder, and puts her on the ground.

For a second they stare at each other, then they burst out laughing.

" I gotta admit, that was a hoot," Faith laughs. " You're evil, you know that?"

" Oh yeah… did you catch that guy's face when you pulled the knife? I thought he was going to shit his pants," Jen laughs.

" That was so fucking funny," Faith laughs. Then winces. " but shit, girl, couldn't you have found something a little softer to throw at me than the beer mug?" She shakes her head, laughing " Did you catch the bartender's face when I pointed that gun at him? Thought he was gonna have an Angus right there . "

" Oh yeah, " Jen giggles," Please, please save me! The big bad girl's going to hurt me," Jen mocks," Whatta bunch of dorks!"

" Yeah well, booze and guys. What do you expect, huh?" Faith chuckles. " Not working with loads of brainpower to begin with."

Jen moves closer, putting her hand on Faith's arm. " Thanks again for being a sport, Faith. Just get so tired of going in that club and every creep thinking he owns me, you know? That creep tonight's always putting the moves on me. When I saw you outside the club, and talked to you, didn't expect you to play along. Thanks." She squeezes Faith's arm

" Yeah, well, no big. I was bored, anyway. I mean, that club's really getting stale. Figured I was about done there… and shit, haven't had that much fun since…forever."

" So, ummm… what now?" Jen says, running a finger along Faith's arm. " I mean, kinda nice to find a good playmate… you know?" She moves a little closer" … we could go to another club… haves some more fun…" She moves in front of Faith.

" Whoa, princess, I mean, that place had it comin'…sorta… but I'd like to be able to get into some clubs still…"

" Oh, thought we'd be lot more friendly now." She moves in on Faith. " I won't run around anymore, I promise," Jen teases, " I been a bad girl, but I can be sweet, too." She leans in a little. " So, wanna be friendly?"

Faith pushes Jen up against the alley wall. She moves in a lot closer.

" Friendly could be good." She runs a finger up Jen's front, from her tummy to her neck. " Exactly how friendly we thinkin'?"

Jen's arm finds it way underneath Faith's jacket. She encircles Faith's waist, and pulls her closer yet. " Thinking, maybe we don't really need another smoky, hot and sweaty club. I'm thinking we could make our own hot and sweaty… back at my place, maybe?" Her other arm slides up and around Faith's neck. Their mouths are an inch apart. " What do you think?"

Faith pushes her body on Jen's, then kisses her. It's a hot and passionate kiss, her tongue sliding easily into Jen's open mouth. Jen sucks on Faith's tongue like a lollipop, and both women's hands seem to find the other's ass. Some squeezing and rubbing happens. When the kiss breaks, both are a little flushed and panting.

"I'm thinkin' the princess has an itch, " Faith says, her hand sliding under Jen's skirt, and around to her ass again. Faith slides a finger between her ass cheeks, and draws a slow line from her sweet peach to her back. Jen gasps and pants a little. " Wanna scratch that itch, princess?"

" Mmmm, what do you think?" Jen wraps her leg around Faith's and pulls her in for another kiss. Her tongue invades Faith's mouth, and she slides it over Faith's tongue. Faith sucks on it ,liking her taste. Jen rubs herself up against Faith.

" I think we better find our way to your place, or we might get busted for public nudity, " Faith breathes, her hand sliding under Jen's dress again. She squeezes her ass cheek, and they share another kiss. Jen slides her hand up onto Faith's bustier, and squeezes her breast.

" I think you might be right, " Jen giggles.

They walk out of the alley, arms around each other, groping each other, and disappear into the night.

2

Almost as soon as they are through Jen's door, clothes start to disappear off their bodies. Faith shrugs off her jacket, and Jen starts to fumble with Faith's bustier. Faith bats away her hand.

" I got it, " She says huskily, expertly undoing the stays. She shrugs off the bustier, and stands naked in front of Jen from the waist up. Except for the little silver cross on her neck.

" Hmmm… wouldn't have thought you as religious, honey, " Jen says, fingering the cross.

" Don't touch, " Faith growls , " that's kind of special to me."

" Sorry," Jen says, letting go of the cross. " Gift from a friend?"

" Kinda," Faith murmurs." I think we're talking way too much." She diverts the subject. She reaches around and unzips Jen's dress. " More naked, less chatter."

" Sounds good to me," Jen whispers. She shakes a little, and the dress drops off her, revealing a slim body with soft, girlish curves. She turns around. " Undo me?" she indicates her bra.

Faith unhooks her, and then slides the straps off Jen's shoulders. Jen pulls it off, tossing it somewhere, and turns. " Like anything you see?"

Jen has small, hard ball sized breasts with large brown nipples. Faith licks her lips. _What is it with me and women with small breasts. _ She wonders as her mouth descends onto Jen's breasts.

" mmmm," Jen sighs softly, cupping the back of Faith's head as Faith suckles her nipple. " This is much nicer than some club, don't you think?" She begins to feel some soft warm tingles in her groin. " So much nicer, " She sighs.

She brings Faith's face up, and they kiss, bodies mashing together as they exchange tongues mouth to mouth. Jen rubs up against Faith, enjoying the way Faiths breast feel pressed against her own. She hops up and encircles her legs around Faith's leather clad hips. She pushes her groin into Faith's tummy. The kiss breaks.

" What do you want to do now?" Jen asks, rubbing herself against Faith. She giggles as Faith starts to walk towards what she thinks is Jen's bedroom.

Jen looks over her shoulder. " No baby, to the left. Unless you wanna shower first?"

Faith stops and grins." Shower might be nice." She looks at Jen, who giggles.

" Can't shower in these, " She chides her. She loosens Faith's belt, then unzips her leather pants. Faith wiggles a bit as Jen peels the tight pants off her hips and down . " Mmmm… pretty." She says, kneeling. She puts her hands on Faith's hips, and leans in, giving Faith a long slow lick on her now rather dampened panties. " Tasty." She repeats.

Faith shivers a little , enjoying the feel of Jen's warm tongue.

" Step up," Jen taps her leg, and then pulls off Faith's boot. Then the sock. It gets tossed. " Other leg." Faith complies, and the boot and sock joins the first. Faith steps back, and kicks her pants and underwear away.

Jen gives her an appreciative stare. " Yummy, " She says, appreciating Faith's sensuous curves. " Very yummy." She pulls down her own panties and steps out of them. She kicks them away.

"Wanna get wet?" Jen asks, pulling Faith along with her into the bathroom.

2 minutes later, they're under a warm spray of water. Giggling like kids, the dispense with the sponge and just start using their hands to lather each other with the gel body soap. It gets a little less giggly when they start washing each other breasts, then the giggling stops as they start to kiss lustily under the tingly spray.

Jen pushes Faith up against the shower wall, and starts kissing her way down. She uses her tongue to flick at Faith's erect nipples, then moves lower until she's face to hip with Faith's lil peach. She buries her head between Faith's thighs, using her tongue to explore her sweetest part.

Faith leans back, sighing softly as the water and tongue work their magic. It feels like tiny fingers are playing with her body while Jen plays nasty with her sex. Her sighs turn to moans when Jen finds her bud, and her legs begin to feel weak and jelly like. It takes all her strength not to slide down the wall, but she manages to hold on.

Jen, sensing Faith might be getting a little wobbly, presses against her to support her. She really gets into Faith, dancing her tongue along her peach, sliding it in and out where it opens. She hears loud moans, and knows the end is near. She gently flicks Faith's swollen bud, and the moans become deep groans. She inserts two fingers, and licks and fingers Faith to her first orgasm of the night.

Faith feels her whole body shudder as wave after pleasurable wave hits her. _Damn, she's a nasty little girl_ she thinks as she feels another wave hit. She feels somewhat tired, and a whole lot happy.

Jen slip slides her way up Faith's body, and they embrace, kissing madly, tongues darting in and out of each other's mouth. Faith slides her fingers down, and slipping them between Jen's thighs, invades her little delta. Jen's eyes grow large, then as Faith manipulates her fingers, go to half mast as warm icy fires swirl in her groin. She leans in, and they share a fiery kiss as the fires grow in her tummy.

When the kiss breaks, Faith holds Jen close as her fingers move faster within the other girl. Jen leans her head on Faith's shoulder, her hips starting to hump against Faith's fingers.

" C'mon bitch fuck me harder oh yeah that's it slut make me cum I love that fuck me fuck me fuck ME!"

" Hmmm… seems princess has a dirty mouth," Faith laughs, working her fingers harder.

" Yeah like that oh fuck that's good do it YAH do it like that harder bitch I need to cum harder fuck me GOD YESSSS!"

Jen shivers in Faith's arm as her pleasure hits her in strong, brain destroying waves. She lets out a scream that nearly has Faith dropping her, it's so close to her ear. They both scream in a minute when the hot water gives out, and they're suddenly blasted by icy cold water.

" SHIT" They both yell as the icy fingers hit them, and Faith reaches around and shuts off the water, while Jen clings to her, still feeling the effects of Faith's fingers.

" Fuck me, that's cold," Faith shivers, the women clinging together for warmth. Somehow they manage, while clinging, to get out of the shower. Faith grabs a couple of towels, and they dry each other off. But they're still cold, teeth chattering.

" Need to get warm, now," Jen complains, her body covered in chill bumps

Faith, doing a little better starts rubbing her all over with her hands. She lifts the other girl, and starts out of the bathroom.

" I got ideas how we can fix that," She grins, carrying Jen towards the bedroom.

3

" Oh yeah, baby, yeah like that!" Faith moans, loving what's happening to her between her thighs. " Do it baby. Willow lover do it yeah Willow oh fuck yah WILLOW!"

Jen, her mouth slick from Faith's juice, looks up with a puzzled expression.

" Uhhh… who's Willow?" She asks, looking at Faith.

" Huh? What the fuck are you talking about?" Faith growls. She reaches down and pushes Jen's head back towards her thighs. " Don't stop now for god's sake."

" Who's Willow," Jen resists, sitting up. " You just called that out like 3 times. Please don't tell me you have a sick , twisted fantasy about some little trees…" Jen shakes her head. " Who is that?"

" Ah, fuck, " Faith closes her wet thighs like a door, and sits up. " Nothing, it's nothing." She slides her legs over the edge of the bed, and sits with her back to Jen.

Jen crawls over, leaning in Faith's shoulders. " Hey, it's no big, really. Just got curious," She fingers the chain on Faith's neck." She the one that gave you the cross?"

" Huh? No, nothing like that," Faith growls, pulling away a little. " Thinkin' maybe I should leave."

" Why?" Jen sounds surprised. She reaches her arm around, cupping Faith's breast. " Weren't we having fun?" She flicks Faith's nipple with her thumb. " Come on, sugar. Lay back and I'll make you forget all about that girl, 'K? Let me take care of it for you." She leans in, kissing Faith on the neck.

Faith shivers, but not in pleasure. She stands up, and moves away. " Look, I'm sorry, but kinda lost the mood, you know? Gotta get home anyway, getting late."

" Aw, c'mon, Faith. Don't be that way. Lay back down. " Jen pats the bed, " Nice and warm here, really cold out there. We don't have to do nothin. Really. We can just sleep, and I'll fix you breakfast in the morning." She lays back on the bed.

Faith looks at the girl lying on the bed. _Fuck, just what I need._ She walks over, and sits on the edge of the bed.

" Look, Jen. You seem like a nice girl. I'm not. I'm not into nice girls anymore. They're just trouble, and then things get weird. So, best I get my ass out now." She stands, heading for the door.

" Thing's aren't gonna get weird, Faith," Jen says, sitting up." Just lookin' for fun, nothin' else. Don't wanna marry you or nothin."

" Yeah, I've heard that before," Faith mutters to herself. She says out loud." It's been great, let's leave it that way."

" Whatever," Jen says, put out. " You're clothes are out there somewhere. Don't let the door hit you on the ass leavin'." She slips under the covers and turns over. " bye."

_Yeah, things won't get weird ,right? Yeah, sure._ Faith walks out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

She starts collecting up her clothes, dressing as she goes. The expression on her face is disgusted. With herself.

_Well, that was real sweet, Faith. What the fuck were you doing, anyway? Callin out Red's name. God._

She finishes dressing, and looks back at the bedroom. _Shit, and she was pretty fucking hot too. Ah, fuck me._ She slips out the front door.

Faith closes the jacket around her, crossing her arms to keep warm. Nothing can warm the chill in her heart, however.

_Fuck, what the hell do I want, anyway? Not lookin' for anything real. Just a little slap and tickle. So, why do I feel like crap now? This blows. I can't even have a nice sweaty grunty time without the misery twins invading it and ruining things!_

_Yeah, but be honest, Faith. You know, maybe stop lying to yourself? This really what you want? Fucking one- nighters all the time… then off to bed to sleep alone? I think you've been ruined for it, babe. You've gotten used to waking up and feelin' something warm and soft all tangled up with you. Fuck me, Fuck me, I'm so fucking whipped. Shit, shit, and shit!_

_So now what, Faith? Gonna become a nun or somethin'? I mean, what? You're supposed to give up sex because those two fucked with your brains? Damn, why's it gotta be like this, anyway? Why can't I fucking get a good screw in without one of those bitches poppin' in my mind, ruining the whole thing. And shit, if I don't keep going back for the same type. Small slim girls that turn out to be really sweet, even if they act all bad. I hate this crap. Fuck sex, All it is …is fucking trouble._

_I've had enough fucking trouble, thanks. Don't need no more fucking trouble._

Faith stamps away into the night, pissed.

_Stupid bitches._

_And damn, I'm still horny!_

4

Willow is just finishing her breakfast when she hears the lawn mower roar to life. She groans internally.

Willow has been doing her best to avoid Buffy since the night she and her Gram had that talk. _Hey, can't help it if she's never around when I'm around, right?_ But she's just run out of excuses, and she can almost feel Gram's gaze burning a hole in the top of her head.

" Willow, dear, why don't you go out and see if Buffy would like a juice or something?" Rose corners her, not letting her wiggle free.

That doesn't mean she won't try, however.

" Ah, Gram, I'm sure Buffy's fine. Probably won't want me disturbing her."

" Still haven't tried to make it up, have you dear?" Rose looks at Willow with askance. " Do you think you're going to have forever to work this out?"

" Geeze," Willow sighs. _Not fair. _" Why doesn't she have to try?"

" Because you're my granddaughter, and I expect you to try." Rose says simply," And, it's been a few weeks and she hasn't moved yet. I'm pretty sure if she were desperate to get away, she could've found something. Maybe she's trying in her own way, by being here? Maybe like a certain redheaded granddaughter of mine who will remain nameless, maybe she's a bit stubborn, too."

" Not stubborn," Willow says petulantly, " just not fair that I've got to be the one who has to make the effort."

" Ok, dear. You don't have to," Rose says." I suppose, if you want to lose your friend of …how long?… nine years, that's ok. You're going to find replacing her is next to impossible. But, it's up to you."

" I hate you, Gram," Willow says, getting up and going to the refrigerator to get a juice. " You know that, right."

" Of course, dear," Rose says, picking up the paper.

Willow exits the kitchen.

Buffy moves along the yard, keeping the grass mowed as she agreed. She's been ducking Willow, because she knows that if she sees her, she's going to have to apologize, like she told Mrs. Weiss she would. _Why'd I ever agree to that anyway? Oh yeah, because I can't find anywhere that isn't falling down for what I can afford to pay. She didn't exactly_ say _I had to apologize to Will, but damned if she didn't like hint at it like crazy. Damn, why do I have to be the one who reaches out, anyway? I didn't go around stealing _her _girlfriend, did I? Ok, I called her some nasty things, but hey…_

" Here, you want this?" Willow's voice interrupts her thoughts. She looks up, and her face matches her tone. Unfriendly.

" No," Buffy replies, equally unfriendly. _Buffy, you promised._ " Wait!"

" Fine by me," Willow says, turning to go back inside. _Willow, you promised! Damn!_ She turns back around. " You sure?" She asks, a little less unfriendly. " What?"

" What- what?" Buffy asks, a little confused.

" You said wait. Wait …what?"

" Maybe I do want it," Buffy stands, looking at Willow from a distance. _This is stupid!_

" Well, come get it, " Willow says. " I'm not like your maid, you know." _This is bogus._

" You bring it here. I'm working here." Buffy stands her ground.

" Hey, you come here if you want it. " Willow stands her ground. Or porch.

" No!" Buffy says, adamant

" No!" Willow says, unwavering.

They stare at each other for a minute.

" I swear. Along with everything else, you're the most stubborn person in the world, Elizabeth Anne Summers, " Willow says, not moving an inch.

" Second most stubborn, I'd say, Willow Danielle Rosenberg," Buffy looks pointedly at Willow. And doesn't move an inch.

Another minute passes; more glaring.

"Well, do you want this or not?" Willow shakes the bottle at her.

" Not if you're going to be a poop about it," Buffy replies.

" I'm not a poop!" Willow declares, crossing her arms.

" Oh, you're the biggest poop going." Buffy crosses her arms.

" Second biggest, Poop, " Willow says triumphantly. _Teach her to call me a poop!_

" Fine," Buffy says, stubbornly

" Fine!" Willow echoes, resolutely.

_This is going nowhere, Buffy,_ Buffy thinks as she stares at Willow, _you promised you'd try. So try._

_This is so going badly,_ Willow thinks, _Why is she being such a mule? Why am I being such a mule? Try harder, Willow!_

" Ok, I'll be the bigger person, and meet you halfway, " Buffy says, feeling magnanimous. " Say at the tree?" She points at the tree.

" No, I'll be the bigger person, and meet you halfway," Willow insists. " Tree is fine."

Buffy stomps over to the tree, about the same time Willow tromps over to the tree. Both stand, two feet apart, staring at each other.

" Here," Willow holds out the bottle of juice.

" Thanks" Buffy takes it. She doesn't open it.

Willow looks down. " You missed a spot."

" Where?"

" There" Willow points.

" Where?" Buffy looks down.

WHACK!

" Hey!" Buffy, wide eyed and surprised, grabs her cheek. " What was THAT for?"

" Don't you ever, EVER, hit me again, Buffy Summers!" Willow frowns at her. " That really hurt, Buffy. You've never hit me before, and that really hurt. Even more than what you said!""

"What you said hurt me too, Willow!" Buffy rubs her cheek. " Feel better now?"

" No," Willow says, " I don't like hitting you!"

" Well, I didn't mean to hit you, either. I …lost my temper. I'm sorry. I hated what I did."

" I hated what you did too. And what I did. And I'm sorry, too." Willow says. She sighs." It's scared me, Buffy. Because you've never done anything like that to me before. I didn't know what to think."

" God, hitting you? Like hitting a puppy. God, I didn't know I could be such a fuck-up," Buffy says. Then she frowns. " Who am I kidding. Of course I'm a fuck-up. One of the few good things I had left going for me was you, Willow. You being my friend. And I screwed that up too. I'm a total fuck up!"

" Buffy! Don't!" Willow grabs her by the arms, " don't say that. You're not a fuck up. You've made mistakes, sure. So have I. So has everybody. But whatever you've done, that doesn't mean I've stopped caring about you!"

" You should Will, " Buffy shakes her off. " Everybody should." Buffy walks back towards the mower. " I've done nothing but screw up my life, and hurt everybody… including you… with what I've done."

" Buffy!" Willow follows her, " I'm still your friend. That hasn't changed."

" I'm not yours, Will, " Buffy says. She catches Willow's expression. " That doesn't mean I don't care about you, I do. I love you, more than a sister. But I'm not your friend. I don't deserve it. I'm sorry, but I don't think we can be friends anymore."

" Buffy, don't do this. Don't shut me out. Please,' Willow says, coming around front of her. "Look at me Buffy. Look at me." She waits for Buffy to look up. But Buffy won't. " Dammit, Buffy, is this about Faith? "

" No, it's not about Faith. Faith… you and Faith should be together. I know that now. Just… what I feel? It hurts to… I just can't hear it, ok?" She stares at the grass.

" Buffy, Faith and I aren't together. She pretty much told me we're done. There is no " Faith and me" anymore, Buffy." She doesn't mention the other part of Faith's message.

" No, that's wrong… that's just wrong," Buffy shakes her head. " Well, once I get things right, it won't matter. Things will work out. Yeah, it'll be better. Trust me." Buffy nods. " She's better off without me."

" I don't get you Buffy. I really don't. Faith loves you; Hell, I love you too. Why do you keep doing this? Why do you keep shoving us away?"

" You think this is easy for me?" Buffy's voice sounds odd. She finally looks up, and Willow sees tears brimming in her eyes, threatening to spill. " Think I like this? I don't. I hate it! I want my best friend back. I want Faith back. But I can't. I just can't til I make it right."

"Make it right? Make WHAT right? I don't understand Buffy, make what right?"

Buffy looks at her sadly, genuine affection and caring in her face. " God, Will. I hope you never do understand." She bends over, and starts up the mower. " Now let me get this done like I promised, Ok? Just let me do what I gotta do." Buffy pushes the mower forward, not looking back.

Willow watches her, and suddenly has this awful feeling. _No, that's just insane, Willow. That's crazy thinking. We'll work this out. I know we will. We've got to._

But as she's walking to back to the house, she feels a shiver run through her.

_That's just nuts!_

5

Faith is just finishing her cup of coffee, an empty plate before her, when Helen Stone slips into the seat across from her.

" Hello, Faith. " Helen smiles. " Did you find that nest last night?"

Helen notes a change in Faith's wear. _Hmmm… denim instead of leather. Interesting._

" Yup. Piece of cake. Got 'em good…though I might've let one or two slip out. But no big, I'll get 'em" Faith says.

" Ah, so I see you aren't perfect after all, " Helen says briskly.

" It was just a couple. I got most of them. Geeze." Faith frowns. " What's the deal?"

" The deal is Faith, we're a team. We work as a unit, and while of course perfection might be an unattainable goal, it doesn't mean we can't strive for it. Therefore, I would like to schedule a time to review your training, and see if I can spot any weaknesses."

" Listen here, Hel …" Faith bites back what she was going to say. _Try to make it work, Faith._ " Ok, we'll do that, real soon."

" Yes, I think right after you return would be suitable," Helen nods.

" After I return?" Faith looks at Helen warily. " After I return? Exactly _where_ am I going. _If_ I might ask, of course." Her tone is bordering on sarcastic. _I knew it. I knew I couldn't trust these guys. Damn!_ She looks around to see if Helen might have 'help' waiting around.

" The council has detected an increase of suspicious activity in the city of Kent, Ohio. There's no positive proof that it's supernatural in nature, but the council wants you to investigate the matter, and report back to me. We'll decide then about any further action that might be necessary. Of course, if you run into any vampires or other such creatures, you're free to use your discretion whether to engage them or not. However, before any large scale action is taken, we need to coordinate with the Watcher's council. So you won't be there that long. Possibly a week. "

" Gee and I was just getting so cozy in Akron, too, " Faith says, " Now I'm commuting to work. Sweet." She turns to Helen. " So, when do we return, then?" _Kent. Why does that name ring a bell?_

" We? Oh…no, you'll be going by yourself."

" Gee, Helen. Sure you can trust me that far off the leash?" Faith mocks. _Kent…what the hell is it?_

" That far? Kent is approximately 10 miles from here. Normally, if you had a car, you could just drive there. But I'd like you to take a lay of the area, patrol different parts of the town. Oh, and don't forget the school, either."

" School?"

" Yes, the University. Kent State? Surely you've heard of it. I mean, it was a focus of student protests at one time."

_Kent State University? Wait… oh no… Oh NO!_

" Is something wrong, Faith?" Helen notes the sour look that comes to Faith's face. _Is something going on here? Or there, rather?_

" Huh? Uhhh… no. I was just thinking, though. It being so close to Akron and all, it probably …just a few pesky vampires branching out. Probably nothing more than that. No need to investigate, probably."

" I agree with you…"

_Thank god!_

" … however, the council doesn't. And we are after all , answerable to the council's wishes." _No matter how asinine._" Anyway, you will be going to Kent for a week. The council will cover all your normal and necessary expenses." Helen pauses. "I do hope you realize, that does NOT mean barroom brawling."

_Oh, crap!_

" Yes, Faith, I did hear about it. Imagine my surprise when I learned that my Slayer had been involved in a rather crude and vulgar display of fisticuffs." Helen's tone has a slight tinge of acid to it.

Faith flushes. _Geeze, I mean, it was just a little fight._

" Look, I'm sorry, I was just blowing off some steam." She sees Helen's look." I suppose the council wants you to spank me?" Faith says, slightly chastened. " Is that why I'm going to Podunk? As a punishment?"

" No, Faith. That's a legitimate mission. Fortunately, I was able to prevent the council from hearing about the incident. Though, I must say it rather depleted my contingency fund."

Faith looks at her, surprised. Maybe flabbergasted would be a better description.

" You didn't rat me to the council?" Faith says, somewhat amazed. _I can't believe it. She didn't nark me out?_

" No. I told you, Faith. We're a team. Your behavior, positive or negative, reflects on me. And visa versa. You're little stunt could've saddled us both with some rather unpleasant consequences. I managed to cover it up this time; but that won't be possible again," Helen says, her tone quiet but an undercurrent of anger is there." I realize you don't have much respect for me, or the job I perform. But I do expect you to act like an adult. Show some judgment. Or perhaps, I'm asking too much?"

" I'm sorry, " Faith blushes, " I really am, ok?"

" Hmmm, " Helen looks at her. " Listen to me, Faith. I'm on probation here, same as you. There are members of the council that would _love_ for me to fail. They can't wait for it, as I am, as you noted, the youngest member of the council. When you do something like this, it shows I'm not in charge here, and that makes me look bad. This assignment is important to me, Faith. So I'm going to make it simple for you." Helen leans in, and Faith sees a change in her expression." _Now, listen up you barmy twunt, if you cock up this for me, I'm going to paddle that bum of yours until it glows a bright rosy. Don't bleedin' care how strong you are." _ She catches Faith's surprised expression." _What? Did you think I was born shittin' silver out me bum? I worked me arse off makin' it, and I'm not letting some twat like you bollix it up fer me. Got it?"_ She smiles a hard smile at Faith. " Is that clear to you now, Faith?"

Faith is still a little taken aback. " Look, I'm really sorry, honestly. I was just blowin' off some steam. I didn't think about it," She grimaces. " I'll find a way to get your money back to you, ok?"

" Don't worry about it, Faith," Helen says, " just don't do it again. Next time, it won't be me bailing you out, but rather the council… from jail." She sees Faith's deflated expression. " Look, other for this little…adventure… you've been doing very well, and I'm pleased with you're performance to date. I just want to see if there's anything I can help you improve."

" Ok," Faith says. She decides now is a good time to change the subject. " So, when am I going to Kent?"

" Tomorrow, actually. I'd like you to be packed and ready tomorrow about this time. I've booked you a place to stay, so you won't have to worry about that. It's paid up for the week. How're you doing for cash?"

" I'm ok, " Faith says, shrugging. _Lots of Top Ramen next week._

" Well…hmmm," Helen digs in her purse. She pulls out some cash, handing it to Faith. It's 5 twenties. " This should cover meals and other incidentals."

" I … can't take your money."

" Believe me, I'm expensing it to the council. A starving slayer doesn't do me any good," Helen smiles. " And, if you get a beer or two after 'work' I don't mind, either. Just, no more tearing up clubs, we're agreed, right?"

Faith blushes. " Never going to let that slide, are you?"

" Would you, Faith?"

" Good point." Faith nods.

" Very well, I'm off. Good hunting tonight. See you tomorrow, and be ready and packed. Ta." Helen slides out of the booth, but Faith catches her hand before she can go. " Something else?"

" Thanks." Faith says, quietly.

" Forget it."

Helen walks out, feeling rather pleased with herself.

Faith sits, looking into her empty cup.

_Damn. Kent. Had to be there. Damn._

_Ok, I can do this. I mean, if I'm careful, I won't run into her. And I'm not going looking for her. I'll get through this, and then it'll be done. Easy as pie._

_Yeah, I can do this. No sweat._

_So how come I'm sweating?_

6

" GUUUUGGHHHH"

Buffy starts to slide down the wall yet again. Her insides are beginning to feel like what one of those old Kaleidoscopes … those cardboard tubes that you twisted to make different weird shapes… looked like when you look into them. _Damn, this thing just won't die!_ Her lungs feel like they've been torched, and her muscles ache… even the ones she never knew she had.

Buffy has bitten off more than she can chew. Instead of the usual fang gang, she's come up against a demon. A big one. An angry one. This thing stands at least six and one half feet tall, and probably weighs close to 300 pounds. And is strong. And… angry.

_Ok, Buff. You can do this. Just find your stun gun…no… wait…bozo the demon …broke that … ok…knife…where's my knife? I know it's here somewhere._ Buffy scrambles up, and tries to find her knife in the darkness of the alley. She just feels the hasp of the knife with her hand when she hears the beast roar again… and narrowly ducks being sideswiped by his claws. She runs back up the alley a bit, and turns to face the beast.

It was three nights past the time she had the little talk with Willow on Rose's front lawn. She'd been hunting vamps, as was her usual, when she heard screams coming from the alley up ahead. As soon as she turned down the alley, she knew something was wrong. Very wrong. She couldn't quite make out what was ahead, but she sensed it was large. Larger than the typical vampire. _Super vamp, maybe?_ Then she heard a noise resembling a cross between a wounded water buffalo and an enraged elephant. And she knew that was no vampire. Then she saw it, and her guts turned to ice.

Her first instinct. Run like hell. _No, can't run. People trapped. Gotta try to fight it._ Trying to quell her fears, she ran up to it and literally climbed up it's back. Throwing her arm around its neck, she hit it with the stun gun, holding it for 10 seconds.

Nothing. _Shit. That shoulda had it dancing like a break dancer on speed. _ Instead, the demon tried to shake her off like a mosquito. She held on, so it backed up, going to slam her into the wall.

" Run, DAMMIT, RUN!" She screamed to the people, who now had a clear shot. They ran.

Buffy seeing them run, managed to drop off the beast. But it still slammed into her, knocking her into the wall. Her stun gun went flying.

She got up, aching, but still pretty mobile. She ran over to where she saw the stun gun fly, and cursed. The thing was broken. Useless. _Shit, I'm in fucking trouble now!_ Worse, the beast had her trapped. She couldn't really get around it, because it would rake her with those claws… and they looked pretty deadly. And, having lost it's other victims, it was all about her now.

The beast came at her. At the last second, she did a dive and roll… _Shit, that hurts on pavement…_ and got around back of it. Again, she climbed up it's back, this time with her knife out. She started stabbing it, but she wasn't getting much penetration. _Did I say sounded like an elephant? Hide like one, too_. She couldn't get enough force behind the knife. The demon shrugged her off, and she hit the ground , hard.

The beast turned around, and came at her again. _Shit that thing moves fast for being so big._ Buffy barely had time to get her legs up, and managed somehow… _Shit, that thing weighs a ton!_… to flip it over her, using it's own weight to carry it. She pushes herself up, and manages to beat it up. She runs and jumps on it, trying again to get the knife to do some damage. She manages to get a few wounds on it's back, but the demon roars, and flings her off, into the wall.

_Ah crap, that hurts,_ She complains as again she finds herself sliding down the wall. She gets her feet under her, feeling a whole lot achier.

The demon has his back to her, and she notices a hole she can run through. Escape.

_So, gonna run? That's it? Leave this thing to get someone else. Yeah, I can believe that. I knew it. I knew you didn't have the guts. You can't do what you gotta do. So go ahead, run little girl._

And she knew then and there, she couldn't run. This was it. Her test. She had to do it, there was no running, no hiding. Not anymore. This was her time to make things right.

Suddenly, she felt a weight seem to lift off her. She felt a calm run through her, as if she knew this was it. It was over now, she didn't have to worry anymore, hide anymore. She tasted freedom. It was right here, right now.

She saw the demon start at her, aware she was there again. Raising her knife, yelling, she ran at it. She got close, but it back handed her, raking it with her claws. She slammed into the wall, stunned and bleeding. Her knife flew out of her hand.

And now, here she is, backed into the corner of the alley. She's bleeding, and hurting, but strangely, she's smiling. She has the knife, and the beast is coming at her.

_Ok, so far, been pretty much Beast 12, Buffy 0. But maybe, if I can slip in and get a good neck or eye shot. Damn, I just wish it didn't hurt so much._

Faith was patrolling when she heard the yelling in the alley up ahead. _Well, looks like this isn't going to be a bust after all!_ She takes off running, turning the corner of the alley. And stopping cold.

_Hot damn, that' s no fucking vampire. That's the biggest damned demon I've seen in while. Maybe I can back out and… oh shit…someone's trapped in there. Fuck me!_

She pulls off the crossbow she has slung over her back. _Shit, ok. Keep cool. _ She pulls out a special quiver of bolts provided by Helen, just the other day. She hasn't had a real field test on them… _This might just be the beastie to try them on. God I hope they work._

The look like a normal cross bow bolt, except they're a bit thicker than normal. Also they have a pull pin on them. Sort of like a hand grenade. Essentially, they're titanium bolts encasing a payload of C-4 and a delay timer fuse. Once you pull the pin, you have about 15 seconds to hit the target, before they blow. If you haven't shot in that time, you blow. Big time. She loads one of the bolts in her crossbow, and puts the other two in the built on quiver below.

" Ok, dammit, work. Or I gotta feeling we're gonna be in big trouble," Faith mutters. She moves in a little closer, to get a better shot. The beast so far hasn't detected her. She kneels, and aiming a little up, she pulls the pin. She does a 5 count, then fires the bolt.

Buffy, crouching, gets ready to attack the demon. She has her knife out, and weaves back and forth. Partly to confuse it, and partly because she's dizzy.

_Ok, Buffy! Let's do this!_

She feels the adrenaline rush, and she yells, rushing at the beast, looking for an opening to get the neck or eyes.

" YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY" She rushes at it, startling the beast. It reacts by lashing out, knocking her back into the back wall.

" Aw, fu…." Buffy groans, just before the lights go out.

The beast, curious about the mosquito that's been buzzing around it, starts towards it. It gets a few steps, then straightens up suddenly, roaring in rage. It turns just in time to see another bolt hit it, directly in the chest.

It screams, and then suddenly, it screams louder as the first bolt in its back blows. It's arms flailing, it starts to stumble towards Faith.

Faith, not particularly wanting the beast to claw her, pedals back from it. She gets ready with the third and last explosive bolt she has. She waits to see what happens.

2 seconds later, the second bolt blows. It rips a hole in the beast's chest the size of a watermelon. Still enraged, going on momentum, it stumbles a few more steps, then falls flat on its face, dead.

Faith, still wary, pulls the third pin, fires the final bolt directly into the beast's head, then runs back to get out of range.

"…. 4….. 3….2…1…." Faith counts to herself. She looks over, expecting a blast.

Nothing.

She waits a little longer. Still nothing. _Damn, must've been a dud. Well, just glad the other two worked._

She gets up, and decides to pull out her long knife. She warily approaches the dead demon. _Is the fucker really dead? Or just playing with me? She takes another step… and another…and then…._

**BOOOOOM!**

The final arrow goes off, blasting Faith back on her butt. The demon's head goes flying in about 20 directions.

_Shit, 15 seconds my ass!_ She grumbles , getting up and wiping herself off. She walks over to the remains of the demon, and grins.

_Well, you aint comin' back from that, Boyo!_ She chuckles, kicking the demon. She gets demon goo on her boot.

_GROSS!_ She tries to wipe it off. _Damn, who'd figure it would start getting gooey so soon_?

As she scraping demon off her boot, a faint groaning brings her back to reality. _Shit… the victim. I forgot!_

She runs up to the end of the alley, and sees an outline laying in prone in the darkness. _God, can't even make out if it's male or female. _ She walks over, and gently kneels down by the victim. _Shit, pretty banged up._ She reaches out, taking the victim in her arms. It's too dark to make out any details, but from the size and weight, it's either a young boy, or a short woman.

_Either way, I'm going to have to get …him/her to the hospital. Looks pretty banged up._

She walks out into the light, and at first just concentrates on getting back to the street. _No need to wait around to see if demon boy has friends hanging around._ She gets to the street, and takes her first good look at the victim.

And almost drops her.

_BUFFY! _

_What the fuck is Buffy doing here? What the hell is going on? Am I like having Buffy on the brain fever?_

Faith , not believing her eyes, looks again. She gently pulls off the victims cap, and a cascade of blonde hair falls out.

" Buffy!"

Buffy's eyes flutter, and she looks at Faith, her eyes unfocused.

" Huh?" She whispers huskily, her voice almost inaudible. " Am… I … dead? Are you … ?" Her eyes focus, and she shakes her head….

" Faith?"

She faints.

To be continued


	19. Chapter 18

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 18

Disclaimer: Under advice of counsel, I must advise you that the characters appearing in this story that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" Television shows don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy , Inc. and Fox.( No kidding, is that a fact? Wow, and here we thought _you_ owned them. We're shocked. Shocked I tell you!). Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.( Gosh, and I really thought you looked up my life, just to put it in this story. Now, I'm crushed!). Yeah. By the way? The author owns any original characters and the story. Yeah, as if _anyone _ wants them. Hah!

1

Faith lays Buffy down on the lawn. Not that's she's heavy, probably weighs 110 pounds soaking wet. It's just that she doesn't trust herself not to drop her. It's too much of a surprise seeing her here, now.

And all those silly, soft feelings that seem to have started forever ago, the ones she's been working so hard to put away, come fluttering up in her heart. Faith sighs, and wonders if the PtB are really the good guys, or just a bunch of exceedingly perverse Gods who get a kick out of making her life hard. Really hard.

Faith kneels by Buffy, checking her pulse point, just looking at her. Almost devouring her with her eyes. _Damn, why the hell did she show up here. Why the hell IS she here? Fuck that. Plenty of time for that later. Get her to a hospital, now._

Faith starts to lift her , and Buffy's eyes flutter open again. She smiles, and Faith almost loses it right there.

" Hey, you," Buffy says softly. " What're you doing here?"

" Was gonna ask you the same thing, Buff." Faith says, picking her up off the ground. " Aren't you supposed to be in like Devon, getting better?"

" Long story. Reader's Digest version. I ran away." Buffy says. " You know something?"

" Ran away?"

" Yeah. Look, feeling kinda crappy. Can we talk about this later?" Buffy asks. " You know something?"

" Yeah, ok, " Faith carries her in her arms. " What?"

" You're kinda beautiful, " Buffy says softly. " Got a girlfriend? I'll be your girlfriend."

" You goof."

" Oh, no. I'll be a great girlfriend. I'll love you, and I'll kiss you, and I'll loooove you, and then you know what?" She smiles.

Faith can't help chuckling. " What?" She asks, half laughing.

" Well, I'll betray you, and kidnap you, and tie you up, and try to make you into a monster like me. Now, wouldn't I be a great girlfriend?" Buffy frowns. " You think I don't remember what I did, Faith?" Buffy sighs, " Why're you here? Why aren't you in Sunnydale?" She glares at Faith. " Was it Will? Did she tell you? Did you come to find me?"

" What? Shit, no. I thought you were still in England. I was … transferred."

" Huh? Transferred?"

" Oh yeah. Hellmouth in Sunnydale? Pretty much sputtered out. So, ummm… the council moved me to here… well, Akron, actually. New Hellmouth. No waiting, you know?" _Thought maybe, I'd get a new start. Sunnydale free. Looks like that's not happening._

" Is that why you left Willow? To come here?" Buffy almost laughs. _If so, that sure didn't work._

" You got it wrong, Buff. I didn't leave Willow, she left first. And, oh, remember. She's not my girlfriend. You are… well, were, til you pretty much told me to blow."

" Ummm. I told you to get on with your life. which you should, right?"

" Yeah, it's that easy…" _Why is she doing this? What's going on in that swamp in her head?_

" Will could've made it easier…"

" Do we have to do this? Let me just get you to the hospital…"

" No… no hospital." Buffy says, sounding upset. " I don't need a hospital."

"You're pretty racked up, B." Faith insists.

" I'm fine. I'm FINE!" Buffy protests, " let me down." She hits Faith on the shoulder." Let me DOWN!"

Buffy starts to wriggle in Faith's arms; afraid she'll wriggle out and drop, Faith lets her down.

" Buffy, you look pretty wrecked, " Faith says," We should just go get checked out."

" Dammit, Faith, I know my body. I'm ok, " Buffy sounds pissed." Look, I'm fine. I can make it from here."

" I'll just walk with you, " Faith says, quietly.

" I don't need you're help Faith, I'm good, ok?"

Buffy walks a couple of yards, stops, and leans against a tree.

Faith walks up to her, nodding her head. " Fine, huh?"

" I'm good… just taking a rest. A little pooped is all."

" Why're you being so stubborn, Buffy?" Faith shakes her head. " I'm just trying to help you."

" I DON'T NEED A FUCKING HOSPITAL!" Buffy yells. " Now, go away." She says, in a quieter tone.

" I don't get you, Buffy. I'm just trying to help. But ok, Fine, whatever," Faith throws up her hands. " Next time, I won't save your life, ok?"

" Didn't ask you to, did I? I had it handled."

" Yeah, right. I saw how you had it handled!" Faith retorts. "unconscious, beast coming to make you dinner. Nice job," Faith shakes her head. " Why'd you take it on, anyway? Thing was nearly twice your size."

" Had to. People were trapped." Buffy says simply.

" Shit, Buffy. So you decided to get yourself killed, instead. Smooth moves." She walks over and taps Buffy on the head. " Hello! Not a slayer anymore, remember?"

" Thanks for the reminder, Faith," Buffy says, sarcastically. " I almost forgot that!"

" Well, that's pretty damned clear!"

" Oh, just go the hell away!"

" Great, I will, " Faith turns and starts to walk off.

Buffy leans against the tree, and groans a little. " Faith, wait, WAIT!". She pushes off the tree, and starts to follow. But her legs give out, and she goes down on the sidewalk. " Ow!"

Faith turns around just in time to see Buffy go down. " Damn, Buffy." She quickly goes to her, kneeling. " Are you ok?"

" No," Buffy pouts. " Yes, … oh hell, I don't know. I'm ok, I mean… a little weak… but ok… just…I don't want to be a bitch, Faith. I really, really don't." She looks at Faith, her expression softening. " I miss you so much," She almost cries it out. " But things aren't right. I don't know if I … I can't be with you Faith. Not til I've made it right."

" Buffy, there's nothing to ' make right'. Everyone realizes that wasn't you. Not really. No one holds it against you, " Faith touches her shoulder. " Believe me, all's forgiven."

Buffy doesn't look up, but rather down." Some things can't be forgiven," Buffy says, remorsefully, " you just don't get it."

Faith lifts her chin, gently." Buffy, if anyone should ' get it' , it'd be me; don't you think?"

Buffy looks into Faith's chocolate brown eyes, and her heart melts. " Faith, I love you so much. I just want…" but she finishes not with words, but a soft, tender kiss. The two feel each other's emotions through their lips. When it breaks, Buffy pulls back." I can't… I won't let you … you can't waste your life on me, honey." Buffy says softly and sadly. She gets up, still shaky. Faith comes over to support her.

" Isn't that my choice, B? How I want to live my life? Don't I get a say?"

Buffy has a thousand things she wants to say, and can't. She wants to convince Faith of the futility, and can't. All she can do is look at her, drink her in one last time.

" Just take me home, Faith, please. I'm tired and I hurt."

" Buffy, I should take you…."

" Home, baby, just take me home please?" Buffy's eyes plead with her.

Faith knows she should take her to a hospital. She knows that she should just grab her and not listen to her. But she can't; not and face those eyes.

"Ok," Faith almost whispers.

She goes to pick up Buffy, but she refuses. She slings an arm over Faith's shoulder, and leaning heavily on her, starts to walk with Faith's support. _I always seem to be needing Faith's support. But I gotta do this myself._

Silently, they walk into the night.

2

"Hey," Willow says, snuggling closer to Faith. " That was nice." She leans up and kisses Faith softly on the lips. " And me? I'm totally sweaty." She giggles.

" Well, Will, if you didn't get so crazy with your toys," Buffy says, raising her head up from the other side of Faith. " I'm still sore from that … monster thing of yours. Ouch!" She makes a pouty face.

" Oh, well, do you want me to kiss the boo-boo then?" Willow giggles.

" Are you two nuts? I mean, don't you ever run out of energy?" Faith looks at the two women lying next to her. " You're fucking killing me here. Or, you're fucking is killing me here. One of the two." She chuckles.

" Oh, oh, we wore her out, " Buffy says, giggling. " Where's all that famed slayer endurance, huh?"

" We're bad, Buffy. Bad, bad girls. We should be punished."

" God, not again!" Buffy says, " Don't think my bottom can take another round. How do you even sit down, Will?"

" Mmmm…. well, Faith here rubs out the nasty sting… then she starts kissing the boo-boo…"

Faith rolls her eyes. " You know, I'm surprised I still have a tongue, after taking care of the two of you. Then you go after each other. I swear, sometimes, you guys need like Anti-Viagra for women or something. Shit. I can't even FEEL below my tummy."

" We broke her. Damn!" Buffy says.

" You broke her, Buffy. I merely…" Willow giggles.

" ENOUGH! SLEEP! I NEED SLEEP!" Faith yells.

" Now she's pissed, " Willow says, sadly.

" Well," Buffy sticks out her tongue, waggling it. " I can think of ways to relax her."

Faith pulls the two of them to her, holding them tight. " No more. Please. If you want me to walk in the morning. No more!"

" 'K" Buffy and Willow say in unison, each snuggling under one of Faith's arms. Faith caresses both their heads, and they lay, each with their head on Faith's breast.

" Hey, guys, " Willow says sleepily." Think it'll always be like this. I mean, all of us together?"

She gets no answer. She looks up, and sees Buffy slipping from under Faith's arm.

" Where you going, Buff?" Willow asks.

" Hey, B, c'mon, get your butt back here." Faith says.

She looks at them smiling, but there's a hint of sadness in her smile. You can tell she loves them both from her expression.

" Sorry, guys. Gotta go. Not done yet. It's not right yet." She starts to walk to the door. She turns back around, her body covered in bruises and wounds. " Man, I wish I could just get it done."

" Buffy!"

" B, God what happened to you?"

" Oh this?" She waves at herself." Nothin'. Don't sweat it. It doesn't really hurt anymore."

Blood starts to drip out of her wounds.

" Buffy, you're bleeding. Stop!" Willow tries to get up, but she can't. She looks at Faith, but Faith's gone.

" Buffy. Don't leave!" But Buffy's already turned, going out the door. A trail of blood follows her. " Buffy! Buffy! BUFFEE!"

Willow's eyes open, and she sits up, covered in sweat. " God…" .

She gets up, and walks over to window, looking out. It's dark, and the street is empty. She looks towards the back house, but there's no activity, no signs of life.

She walks over, and looks at the clock on her nightstand. It's midnight. She frowns, her brow furrowed.

_Where are you? Damn, Buffy, where the hell are you?_

3

" Here, " Buffy says, softly, breathily.

Faith starts to approach the front door, but Buffy stops her. " No, baby, in back." She waves down the driveway. " Back house."

Her movements seem tired, moving slowly and with effort, as if swimming through molasses. As they walk towards the back, she stumbles a little, whimpering.

" Buffy, dammit. That's it. We're taking you to the hospital." Faith lifts her, and starts up the driveway.

" No, baby, please. So close. So very close. Don't…" Buffy protests.

Faith misunderstands her meaning; she looks at Buffy who is cradled in her arms. Buffy looks at her and smiles softly.

" I'm ok, really. Just fighting that thing really took it out of me… be better, lots, after I rest." She snuggles closer to Faith. " Please, baby, I just need you…nothing else." She lays her head on Faith's shoulder. " love you so much." She murmurs.

Faith is torn. _Dammit, dammit, dammit!_ She looks at Buffy carefully, who seems to be so quiet, so peaceful. _Maybe she's right, maybe it's just exhaustion. I'll take her back, and look her over. Decide then._

She walks down towards the backhouse. Buffy wiggles around in her arms.

" Buffy, careful. I don't want to drop you, " Faith chides her gently.

" You'll need this…or you'll have to break the lock… and I don't have the cash to fix it." Buffy smiles, producing the key. She hands it to Faith. " You're so beautiful, Faith, " Buffy sighs, snuggling closer. " I love you."

" I love you too, Buffy, " Faith says softly. And means it.

She shifts around a little to unlock the door, then carries Buffy inside. She carries her to the bed, almost tripping over the weights on the floor.

" Geeze Buff, " Faith says, " Once a slob…and I thought I was bad." Faith chuckles. She lays Buffy on the bed, then flips on the light.

Faith feels her stomach turn over. Buffy looks awful. She's pale, eyes look puffy and red. There are abrasions and bruising on her face, and her lip is bleeding a little. Her clothing has blood on it… her blood.

Hiding her reaction, she moves to Buffy, and carefully peels off her clothing. Buffy whimpers a little when the dried blood pulls away from her wounds.

Across her chest and tummy are the demon's claw marks. Red, angry looking and long, they stretch from side to side. There are bruises all over her. She carefully presses on Buffy's ribs. Buffy moans a little. _Doesn't feel broken. Thank god for that._

" I'll be right back… just need to get some soap and water."

Buffy looks at her. She tries to smile, but her lip is quivering. She bites it, and quips, " Hurry back, sexy. I'm missing that hot body already." She manages a smile.

" Sure, gorgeous. Back in a flash, " Faith says, turning away so Buffy can't see her face.

Buffy seems to fall into a brown study. Her look is far away.

_Hi, Buffy!_

Buffy turns her head, and smiles. _There you are._

_I'm so proud of you. You did really good._

_Really? _ Buffy's eyes tear up. _You don't hate me?_

_Oh no… I miss you, Buffy._

_I miss you, too baby. Lots._

_Soon, Buffy, it'll be done. You'll be done. It'll be alright again._

Buffy smiles.

_I gotta go now. She's coming back. But I'm here._

" Don't. Don't go!" Buffy cries out.

" I'm here, Buffy. Don't worry, " Faith smiles. " Sorry I took so long."

" Hey," Buffy smiles at Faith. " I kinda love you, you know?"

Faith doesn't say anything. She just smiles. Everything she has to say, she says with her eyes.

She starts to gently sponge Buffy down, removing blood and dirt. She has to return with fresh water a few times. Finally, she gets some antiseptic and gently tends to the wounds. Buffy cries out a few times, and she whimpers some. But she doesn't cry. Faith then gently uses a soft towel to dry the wounds.

" I really wish you'd let me take you to be checked out, " Faith says, not sounding pleased.

" Oh, baby, we've both had worse before," Buffy dismisses the wounds. " I'm gonna be fine now. Just sit with me awhile, ok?"

" Ok, Buff," Faith takes the bowl and other stuff and returns it to the bathroom. She comes back, and grabbing a chair from the corner, brings it over and sits by Buffy. She takes Buffy's hand.

For awhile, they don't speak. Buffy seems to drift in and out of sleep. Finally, she opens her eyes, seeing Faith looking down at her. She waves Faith closer.

" I can't believe you're still here," Buffy smiles, eyes lidded. " You're not a dream?"

" No, Buff. I'm real."

" I used to see you a lot. When I was there. In England." She reaches up and touches Faith's cheek, " But I never could touch you…"

Faith shivers a little internally. She remembers how Buffy would look right through her that first month in Devon. Faith looks away

" Faith, look at me. Please, baby, " Buffy pleads with her.

Faith looks over at Buffy, smiling. Buffy gazes back at her, eyes concerned.

" I know I've been a lousy girlfriend. I do."

" Shhh. Buffy, don't be silly," Faith sounds a little wistful." I know you've had a bad time of it, baby." She strokes Buffy's hair.

"Faith, honey. I'm insane, not stupid, " Buffy giggles at her joke, then winces and moans. " Ok, maybe no laughing. Ummm…thing is Faith, I know it's been mega hard on you, too," Buffy reaches out, touching Faith's face, turning it towards her. " Do you love me, Faith?"

Faith snorts, as if that's the silliest thing she's ever heard. " Yeah Buffy, I love you."

"You're not just saying that, to make me feel better, are you?" She looks at her wounds and winces," Not sure that's going to make me feel better."

" No, Buffy. I'm not just saying it. I love you."

" Faith, I'd really get it if you had a change of heart," Her mouth says, here eyes calling her a liar." I've told you lots of time to move on…"

_Yeah, that's gonna happen while there's this 900 pound blonde gorilla hanging in the corner._ Faith blows out air. _God, she makes me crazy! Why doesn't she just get a little greedy for once and really want me without this nobility crapolla?_ But that isn't what Faith says.

" Buffy, I don't know how many times I gotta say it. I love you. Would you like that signed in blood?" Faith half grins.

" I love you too, Faith. That'll never change. But this _is _ important," Buffy squeezes Faith's hand. " Gosh, I missed that. Just having your hand," She shakes her head. " I just want you to be happy, honey. Whatever it takes. I need for that to work out right." She looks at Faith intently. " You don't look happy, honey."

_Duh. Well… you dump me, Willow walks out on me. I'm back to doing the get in, get some and get out. And I'm finding I hate it now. Oh, and you suddenly reappear just when I'm thinking maybe I can move on, and I've got all the feelings just going crazy in me. Why shouldn't I be happy?_

"I'm just worried about you, Baby. You don't look good. I really think I should get you to the hospital…"

" Silly Billy. I'm gonna be fine, " Buffy winces, " Once I rest. Gonna sleep now cuz, " Buffy forces a yawn." I'm kinda bushed."

" Ok, gorgeous, " Faith says, leaning over and kissing her forehead, " Sleep. I'll be here."

Buffy reaches up, and again touches her face. " Be happy Faith, ok? For me?"

" 'K" Faith forces a smile, " Now rest."

Buffy let's her eyes drift closed.

_Gotta figure a way to get them together, _Buffy thinks behind her closed eyes. _Get Faith to the front house. Then just take off. Tired now, god I… just rest a minute… then I'll figure it… promise…_

Faith sits with Buffy while she sleeps. She keeps looking at her, not getting her. _How can she just give someone away who wants to love her? I just don't get that._ Sighing, figuring Buffy's asleep, she gets up to rummage up some bandages. _Those wounds look nasty. Not good leaving them uncovered._ She goes into Buffy's bathroom, and starts looking around.

" Damn, " She mutters after a fruitless search." How the hell can she just not have even a band-aid around?" She shakes her head." I gotta get her something." She searches her pockets, " shit, forgot my money at home… and what'd be open at this hour in Mayberry anyway?"

She walks back into the other room, and sees Buffy is still sleeping. _I should just take her to the hospital. Screw it. No, cuz she'll just wake up, and make a fuss, and maybe make it worse. Crap. I need a smoke, gotta think…_

Faith watches carefully, and moving quietly, eases herself out the door.

Buffy's eyes flutter open, and she starts to sit up. _Crap, that hurts. _ She gets halfway up, and a wall of dizziness hits her. _Ok, not good _She thinks as she falls back on the bed.

_It's ok, Buffy. It's all good. It's going to be fine._

Buffy smiles. She can almost feel a hand brush against her face.

_Really?_

_Yes, I promise._

_They'll be together and happy?_

_Yes. Just lie still, it's ok. It's almost done._

_I love you._

_I love you too. Shhh._

The solution hits Faith as soon as she steps out of the backhouse. " Well, duh," She mutters, looking at the main house." They gotta have something in there. Or maybe they know somewhere I can get something for her…". She starts walking towards the main house. _I just hope someone's up._

Willow takes her glass of water and sits at the kitchen table, still puzzling and somewhat wigged over that dream. _What did it mean? Why was Buffy all wounded like that? Where did Faith go. Ok, maybe I can get _that _one, but the rest was… well, weird._

The imagery was all so weird to her. The three of them, in bed? All of them obviously very comfortable together. _Exactly what is that with Buffy making fun of me and my toys? Am I a sick girl, or what?_ The idea of being with Buffy, in bed, and doing anything but sleeping had never occurred to her. Of course, before Faith, Buffy had never really made any signs of being interested in women on a different level than friendship. Willow thought it a bit freaksome…though not exactly unappealing. _Oh, c'mon, Buffy's a little hottie in her own right. Wasn't like I never wondered what it would be like… but it never went beyond the ' wonder what…' stage. Til now. And ALL of us together… ok, now we're bordering on some very awful porno here. And why'd it turn so dark…? Oh, for heaven's sake. This is stupid… just go back to bed._

Willow gets up, planning to put the glass away when there's a knock at the back door. _Ok, who…Buffy? Why would she be knocking now? Maybe she's … just go answer it!_

Willow goes and opens the door, talking before she sees who it is.

" Buffy, are you…." and she stands there stunned.

Almost as stunned as Faith, who looks up into the last face she expected ever to see again.

" YOU!" They say simultaneously

4

_Ok, I'm Alice. I've just popped through the looking glass, and damned if everything isn't upside down. First Buffy, now Red?_

" Uhhhh…" is all Faith gets out before she feels herself being hauled physically inside the kitchen door. Then she feels herself being shoved into the wall, and a pair of familiar, soft lips attack her face and lips. Her arms are held to the wall, and a very warm, soft body presses up against her. _What the fuck? How did she… oh my…_

Faith's mouth is captured by a pair of eager lips, and hands seem to be wandering all over her. She is too stunned and surprised to resist and when Willow's insistent tongue pushes against her lips, she opens her mouth.

The kiss itself is slightly wild, very passionate, and very possessing. Faith's mind seems to clear out as all she becomes aware of is this tongue sliding in and out of her mouth, and these hands grabbing and caressing her everywhere they can reach. Her own arms, now freed, go around Willow, pulling her closer.

The kiss breaks, but then wet warm kisses are being placed all over her face.

" How(kiss) did you( kiss, kiss) find me( kiss, kiss, kiss)? I don't( kiss, kiss) care, just god, I so missed( kiss, kiss, kiss) you!" Willow breathes, then her lips are back of Faith's. She draws in Faith's tongue, and sucks on it. Her hands slide under Faith's t-shirt, and she starts to rub Faith's breasts through her bra.

Willow truly never expected to see Faith again. She figured after that phone call, it was more than over. To see her on the doorstep, standing there, was like a gift from the powers. Now she wanted to unwrap her gift. Taste her gift. Lick and kiss and make her gift moan and gurgle and scream.

" Faith, Faith, Faith," Willow moans into Faith's mouth, her body starting to rub against Faith." Don't know why you're here, how you're here, and I don't give a damn. I just need you so much."

Faith for her part was in a whirl of confusion and emotion. She, like Willow, thought that they were over, and seeing her again? No way that was going to happen. _She's here. She's all over me, attacking me. Oh god…_ Faith's mind goes blank, just feeling, not thinking…

" Ahem" A voice and light seems to interrupt the body to body activity. Willow almost jumps away, and Faith, rather over stimulated and feeling a little weak kneed, almost falls.

Rose Weiss takes a look at her granddaughter, looking somewhat flushed and disheveled, and at the strange woman against the wall, also looking flushed and disheveled, and sees the way her granddaughter won't look her in the eye, yet somehow keeps stealing glances at the dark haired woman, and things fall into place.

" Well, exactly what was I interrupting?" Rose is not smiling. " I'm going out on a limb and guess that you're the infamous Faith I've heard about."

Faith looks at Willow, who goes even redder and looks away, and then back to Rose, who stands with hands on her hips.

_Oh, this doesn't look good. Not good at all._

" Uhhh… yes ma'am I'm Faith." Faith says. _And that was a brilliant comeback, Faith!_

" Well, it seems my granddaughter was rather pleased to see you. I can't say I am, after what you've done to her." Rose sounds upset, " So, Faith. Exactly why ARE you here, anyway?"

Faith, a little intimidated by the unexpected hostility… _what did she tell her grandmother, anyway?_… is for a moment at a loss. Then it all hits back home like a freight train. _Buffy!_

" Oh… god. Buffy!" Faith exclaims.

Both women look at her, surprised.

" She's in the back house. She's hurt… she was attacked. I brought her home. I need bandages…"

" Buffy? Hurt?" Willow looks guilty. _God, she must've come to get … shit_. " I'll get some stuff. Wait here." She almost runs over her grandmother in the doorway, running towards the upstairs bathroom.

" I'll just wait…" Faith starts towards the back door.

" Right there, young lady," Rose stops her with her voice. " I want to have a talk with you."

" But, Buffy…"

" Will be taken care of by my granddaughter. You, on the other hand," She comes over and takes Faith's wrist, " Are going to have a little chat with me." Rose starts towards the dining room, pulling Faith behind her.

Rose waves for Faith to sit down, but Faith declines. Rose gets a perturbed look on her face.

" I don't sit in places I'm not welcome, ma'am" Faith says simply.

" What have I done to make you feel unwelcome, child?" Rose asks, a little surprised.

" You think I haven't seen that look before? You think I'm dumb? Please, gimme a break, ok? You don't want me here, isn't that pretty much what you want to say?"

" Well, I'm so glad you made up my mind for me, " Rose says, with a touch of sarcasm, " it's so much easier when I don't have to do my own thinking. However," She frowns, " I usually prefer to."

" I think you've pretty much made up you're mind about me, " Faith says, defensively. " I'm bad news, right? I'm not good enough for your granddaughter. Well, thing is? I wasn't here for your granddaughter. I was here because Buffy got hurt, and I was looking for something to bandage her up. I didn't have a clue Willow lived here." She leans on the table. " Another tip? I didn't start what you saw in the kitchen, ok?"

" Oh, I was pretty sure you didn't. I know my granddaughter, better than she thinks I know her, anyway," Rose almost smiles, " She can be pretty passionate about what she wants, and when she wants it, and how she wants it. Thing is, I just want some answers. Think you can do that?"

Faith shrugs." Go ahead. Not like you can hate me much worse, can you?"

" There you go, answering for me again. I don't hate you, Faith. I don't know you. I don't like what's happened. I really wish you'd let me make up my own mind."

" I'm sorry."

" Look, Faith. I don't know you well enough to make a decision about you. All I know is what my granddaughter told me about what happened. And how it's affected her and Buffy. And somehow, you seem to have come out clean here. So, you have to forgive me if I'm taking a hard line on you. I don't like seeing Willow hurt. And I've grown rather fond of Anne… Damn, Buffy. It's so hard to keep that straight. I know they've been friends forever, until you showed up. See my point?"

" Yeah, I do . You think I'm coming between them. Let me tell ya something. Last thing I want is to come between them. Last thing I want in this world is what happened. It wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with Red… er… Willow. I didn't want to , but I did. " She looks at Rose with a rather hard expression. " I came out of this clean? I got to have my heart broken twice, lady. I can't have either of them. It's not right, is it?" Faith paces. " Doesn't mean I stopped loving them. But It means I have to stay away. I didn't want this. I've lost a lot here, too. Sorry if that doesn't fit in your neat little picture of me as the bitch from hell that broke your granddaughter's heart."

Rose doesn't sense a lie out of Faith. She can see that same special quality she saw earlier in Anne/Buffy. Also a lot of confusion and heartache.

"So, what're you going to do, Faith?" Rose looks at her calmly.

" What can I do? I can't love one and hurt the other; I love them both. Pretty sucky, huh? I thought coming to Ohio would keep me far enough away so they could get over me, and I could try to get over them, and damn, if we're not just back to it again. But as far as I'm concerned, once I know Buffy's going to be ok, I'm gone. I'll just have to tell them both it's not gonna work, I can't choose, so I gotta go. Yeah, I break their hearts, so sue me. But better than just string them along, don't you think?" She sighs, " I tried that on the phone with Willow. It didn't work too good."

" Well, that explains why my phone got broken. She wasn't all that clear about it." Rose nods. She looks at Faith, and can't help but feel some small measure of sympathy. " I wish I could help you, somehow. I wish I had a neat answer. But you've gotten yourself in an impossible situation. Now you've got to do what's right, easy or not. I wouldn't want to be you. Before you break up with anyone, I think you need to think about this, though. You're giving up two pretty extraordinary women. I don't think you'll find their kind again. So, maybe you need to make a choice. Decide who you really love, and let the other one go. I hate to see you hurt them both. And yourself."

" Not that easy. No matter who I choose, as you say, everyone loses. They lose a best friend, and I lose one of them. And that's just a recipe for disaster, because I made them lose something precious to both of them. Each other, and their friendship. If I walk away, choose neither, at least they still have each other. Not what I want, but I can live with that a whole lot better." She nods her head, and faces Rose." See? I can be the cold heartless bitch when I need to be." She turns towards the kitchen. " We're done now?"

At that moment, Willow bursts in the room, heading for the phone.

"What?" Faith is almost knocked over by Willow. Her grandmother rises from the table. "What the hell, Red?"

" It's Buffy, Faith, " Willow reaches the phone, picking it up, " I can't wake her." She dials a number.

" Shit!" Faith takes off out the back door.

Rose sits down, the air knocked out of her. She leans her head in her hands.

" Yes," Willow says, almost losing her patience. " It's an emergency. We need an ambulance at 215 Elm St. Yes, she's breathing. I just can't wake her up. Why're you asking all these questions. Just send the damned ambulance!" She bites her lip to get control. " I'm sorry, I'm just… ok, ok. I'll meet them out front. Yes."

Willow put down the phone, turning to go out front. She sees her grandmother, who looks almost white.

" Gram, are you ok?" Willow says, going to her. " God, I don't need two in the hospital. Gram?"

" I'm ok, I'm ok… just a shock. I'll go back and help Faith." She stands up, drawing up her will. " Go out and meet the ambulance, honey."

Rose walks toward the kitchen.

" Gram, are you sure?" Willow asks worriedly. For the first time in her life, she's seen her grandmother look… drained.

" I'm fine, dear. Now go."

Rose walks to the backhouse, feeling the chill of the night air. _I try not to ask for too much, God. But please, don't take her yet. She's too young. She has a lot of living to do. Please, let her stay with us._

She looks in the door to the front house, watching as Faith checks Buffy for vital signs. She decides not to interfere.

Faith touches her pulse point, then leans her head on her chest to listen for her breathing. She starts talking to Buffy, not realizing Rose is there.

" C'mon baby, don't do this. Don't do this. Hold on, helps coming. Just hold on. God, I'm so fucking stupid. I should've taken you to the hospital. Why didn't I? Why'd I listen to you? Damn you B, always doing this. Always trying to make it easier on everyone, and making it just so much harder. We can't lose you, dammit. You don't get to get out that easy. You don't leave me, you hear me? YOU HEAR ME! Get back here. Don't you check out on me now… don't do this… please, Buffy… don't do this…" She kneels down by Buffy, her tears starting to flow. ' Goddamn you, you aren't done fucking up my life yet, Buffy. Dammit, just don't die. Please, baby, don't die." She holds Buffy's hand, rubbing it . " Please, don't do this. You'll break my heart dammit. What about Will? You'll break her heart. You listen to me, Blondie you hold on. You stay here and keep making me miserable. You hear me? YOU HEAR ME?"

Rose, teary eyed herself, walks in and goes over to Faith, putting her hands on the young woman's shoulders." It's ok, Faith. Ambulance is on the way. It's going to be ok."

Faith looks up at Rose, cheeks wet. She turns back to Buffy, her tone soft and soothing. " Hear that, babe? Ambulance is almost here. Just hang in there, baby. Stay with us. We love you. We won't leave you. I promise. Just hang in there."

Flashing lights appear in the driveway, along with the sound of a vehicle backing towards the backhouse. Rose looks out and sees her granddaughter directing the ambulance down the driveway.

Two EMTs jump out of the ambulance, and come coming to the rear, open the doors. They pull out the rolling stretcher, and Willow directs them to the back house.

They come in and look at Buffy, one starting to question Faith.

" What happened to her?"

" She was attacked tonight. She fought them off, but she's been badly wounded."

" She should've been in the hospital, " The EMT shakes his head. He moves over, and takes her vitals. " Breathing shallow, pulse normal, BP 110/80. " He looks up, and signals his partner over. They begin trying revive her, without success. " Ok, we better get her to County Memorial now." Coming around, they carefully lift her out of her bed, using the sheets to keep her even and balanced. They bring her to the stretcher, and strap her down. " Let's go." He looks at the three women." Are any of you related to the patient?"

" No, " Rose speaks up. " She doesn't have any relatives in town."

" Do you know how to get in contact with her relatives? County can only provide emergency care until we have permission to treat."

" I'll call her mom. I have her number," Willow says, going towards the house.

" No, give me the number. I'll call. You ride along with Buffy, " Rose says. She looks at Faith. " Both of you. I'll get there as soon as I can."

Willow pulls out her cell phone." It's number one on my cell, Gram. Just push 1 and then Send. Her mom's name is Joyce." She hugs her grandmother. " Thank you."

Willow and Faith pile into the back of the Ambulance, and it speeds off, sirens wailing. Rose watches it go, a sinking feeling in her heart.

She remembers the last ambulance to speed out of her driveway. 20 years ago, when her Hank was so ill. A sudden and deep sadness almost overwhelms her.

" No time for that now, Rose," She mutters.

She pushes the 1 and then Send, and waits for a response.

" Hello, is this Joyce Summers?" she waits for the reply. " Yes, this is Rose Weiss. You don't know me. I'm Willow Rosenberg's grandmother. I'm sorry to call you so late, but I have news…"

5

Faith and Willow stand looking in the small glass partition separating them from Buffy.

Neither is aware of the passing time; they know they're allowed 10 minutes per hour to look at her, and they've been here a number of times now. She's the same; no change. Any doctors they've seen keep telling them it's too early to make any judgments.

They know time has passed. Joyce Summers and Giles showed up some time ago. Joyce is in there now, sitting quietly with her daughter. Holding her hand, rubbing it, talking to her sometimes; Faith and Willow see that when they're allowed back in. She looks up occasionally, and nods, indicating she knows they're there. Then she turns back to Buffy. Her whole focus on her child.

Joyce didn't have any questions when she came in. she just immediately went to her daughter. Faith and Willow knew that questions were coming; they weren't sure how they were going to answer them.

" You'll have to leave now," The nurse says to them. They've heard it so many times; it doesn't get easier for either of them.

They make their way back to the waiting room; waiting for the next time they can go in. They sit together, but don't interact. They might as well be sitting miles from each other. Guilt does that.

Faith feels guilt for not bringing her in right away. _I shoulda done it. I shoulda just brought her in. I shouldn't have listened to her. I know better._ She just stares into space.

Willow feels guilt for not calling Joyce back. Not letting her know Buffy was here. _Even if Buffy hated me for the rest of my life, at least she'd be safe. Not here._ And then there was what happened in the kitchen. _Maybe if I hadn't been trying to get Faith naked, Buffy wouldn't have… damn._ She also stares into space, with side glances at Faith.

Willow had sent Rose home hours ago. She saw how the strain was getting to her, and assured her there was nothing she could do here, not now. She'd call her with any change. _I'm doing so good. I thought she was going to have a heart attack last evening. Great. Kill my grandmother and my best friend on the same day. Shit, don't think that way, Will. She's going to be ok. She has to be ok._

Two cups of steaming chocolate seem to appear magically in front of them. They look up and see the worried face of Giles looking back down at them.

" I figured perhaps you could use this," He says to both.

They accept the cups, but neither really looks at them. They just hold them like actors holding props in a play.

Giles looks into their worried faces. He can read the guilt and anguish they feel, and he knows nothing he can say will make it better. _As if that would really stop you from trying anyway, Rupert, you old fraud._

" How're you holding up?" He asks solicitously.

" Just swell, Giles, considering I nearly killed B tonight. I'm doin' peaches," Faith mutters, staring at the chocolate.

" Faith, it wasn't your fault," Willow reaches over to touch her, but stops. " You couldn't have known how bad it was…"

" Yeah, well, I coulda just brought her anyway, couldn't I? No, I didn't though, did I? Now she's…"

" Faith, you can't do this to yourself, " Giles reaches over, patting her arm. " You didn't put her out there, fighting a demon. She chose that. And after? There was no way of telling how badly she'd been injured."

" I should've known, Giles. We can't sugar coat this. I didn't do what I knew I shoulda done, and now she's there…" Faith waves over towards the ICU unit, " And it's my fault. No one else to blame here."

" Really, Faith? Why didn't I call Joyce back? Why didn't I make sure she came and got her? Then she wouldn't have even been here to get hurt. But I was so afraid of losing her friendship, so afraid she'd hate me, I kept quiet. And now… might not matter, right? So stop blaming yourself, it's my fault, dammit." Willow rises suddenly, needing to get away. She spills chocolate on herself. " Damn… shit…" She wipes at herself. Seeing it's useless, she runs towards the bathrooms.

" Maybe I should…" Giles gets up.

" Naw, G. Don't think we want to bail you out on a Perv charge. I'll get her, " handing her chocolate to Giles, Faith takes off after Willow.

Giles watches her go, and sighs. He has his own guilt about Buffy. He'd stopped calling Devon, because it'd become too painful to here the non-progress reports on her condition. He hadn't checked up on her in months, and now this.

When Joyce had called, telling him about Buffy, he'd called Devon immediately, and found she'd left nearly six months prior. After nearly tearing Pamela Woodbury's head off as to why he hadn't been informed, he found that Buffy had requested they not call them. He still let it be known he as very upset. _Since when does a patient make policy?_ But after talking with them awhile, he just got more stonewalls than answers, and hung up. _Why didn't I check on her? Why …because, Rupert, you're somewhat a coward, all in all. Always have been. That's why you failed with Faith, because you didn't stand up to the Council, and now you've failed Buffy also._ He felt a lot of bitterness towards the council; almost as much as he felt towards himself.

Willow stands, wet paper towel in hand, trying to rub out the stain on her blouse." Stupid, stupid, stupid Willow. Always doing the smart thing, huh, you dummy. Damn, this is never coming out." Still, almost compulsively, she rubs at the stain. Growing more and more frustrated, she keeps rubbing harder and hard, and then leans against the sink. Her emotions take over, and she starts crying.

Faith walks in and seeing Willow leaning against the sink, crying, goes to her. She wraps her arms around her, and holds her.

" It's going to be alright. She'll be alright. Buffy's tough, she's a fighter. She won't go down without a fight. Trust me on that," Faith remembers the many times Buffy's fist has hit her, especially in the face. _Why does she always do that? Go for my face?_

" It's… my fault, Faith…" Willow gets in between sobs," I … should've gotten Joyce on the phone. I …should've made her… go back… or something… but I didn't… and I knew she was going out and fighting. I saw her … leave at night… I used spells to protect her… but I … and then what she said… and what … god…this didn't have to …"

" Shhh," Faith holds her, rubbing her back." It's my fault too, Red. I should've brought her here, before … I shouldn't have let myself listen to her." Faith pulls away a little, looking at Willow's tear stained cheeks. " But Giles is right. We didn't drive her to do what she was doing. Something in her is making her take these chances. I just can't figure it out."

" I can," Willow says softly,' it's the soul. She can't deal with all her guilt. That's why she's doing it. Trying to deal with the guilt. She's hoping she'll die, so it'll go away,'" Red looks in the mirror. " I did that to her. I screwed it up."

" Red, stop that. You had to give her a soul back. She couldn't remain the way she was. Even she knew that," Faith holds her closer. " She just is having a tough time adjusting. She probably thinks going out, killing monsters, helps. She still thinks like a slayer, even if she doesn't have the powers anymore." She looks at Willow's reflection in the mirror. " We have to face the fact that maybe, she's never going to get adjusted, Red. She might never forgive herself."

" So, that's it? I just have to watch my best friend kill herself, because she can't deal? I can't do that, Faith. I can't just sit back and let her throw her life away." Willow shuts her eyes." I won't. I can't. If she did that, it'd be because…of what I did… because I didn't… oh, god I'm so…" She looks at Faith, and can't say more. Not now. She can't let her know the real reason she didn't help Buffy more. Not now. " I just… I just don't know what to do!" Fresh tears start down her cheeks.

Faith goes to her, gathering her in her arms. " It's going to be ok. I promise, " She says softly. " We'll find a way."

Faith holds her, letting her cry it out. Willow finally recovers herself, and breaks from Faith's embrace.

" I'm such a baby sometimes," She splashes her face with water. " Sorry for getting you soaked there."

Faith puts her hands on Willow's shoulders. Both look at their reflections in the mirror.

" Sometimes you gotta lean," Faith smiles at her. Willow turns, and covering her hand, squeezes it.

They leave the restroom to face what's coming next.

To be continued.


	20. Chapter 19

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 19

Disclaimer: Under advice of counsel, I must advise you that the characters appearing in this story that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" Television shows don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy , Inc. and Fox.( No kidding, is that a fact? Wow, and here we thought _you_ owned them. We're shocked. Shocked I tell you!). Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.( Gosh, and I really thought you looked up my life, just to put it in this story. Now, I'm crushed!). Yeah. By the way? The author owns any original characters and the story. Yeah, as if _anyone _ wants them. Hah!

1

"Good Morning!" Rose says, seeing Joyce appear in the kitchen. " You're up early."

" Sorry, can't really sleep much, " Joyce smiles apologetically. " I mean, everything is wonderful, and thanks for putting me up while…" Joyce trails off. Even after a week, it's hard to admit Buffy's still in the hospital, and still hasn't woken up.

_Coma! _ She sighs. She's still having a hard time accepting all that's happened to her daughter. _Why are you guys up there punishing her like this? It wasn't her fault. None of this was!_

" Don't be silly, Joyce…it's ok if I call you Joyce?" Rose says.

" Of course, Mrs. Weiss. Please!" Joyce insists.

" And you'll call me Rose then?" She smiles. " I had the hardest time getting Buffy to… Oh, dear, I'm so sorry." She comes to Joyce, who's tearing up. " This has been so hard on you, dear. I couldn't see you staying at some impersonal hotel, worrying about Buffy. Anyway, there's plenty of room here."

" We descended on you like locusts, though, " Joyce says, " You've been very kind. I can't say how much I appreciate you looking after Buffy." Joyce shakes her head, " All this is just so hard to believe. You've been more than kind."

" Don't be foolish, Joyce. I love having a houseful of people around. It's nice to have someone to talk to in the mornings again," She sighs." Been a long time, my Hank passing 20 years back."

" Oh, I know what you mean. That's why I liked it when Buffy brought her friends around. It was nice having them around; made the house seem alive. When my husband left me… I know that was hard on Buffy and Dawn, too…"

" Dawn. Yes, her sister. The child you lost to the freak accident?"

" Freak accident?" Joyce looks at Rose with an odd expression." What has Willow told you about her and Buffy and life in Sunnydale, exactly?"

" Well, that she and Buffy are like best friends. Have been for…oh, goodness, nine years now, I guess. And that they've been through a lot together. Though, I have to admit, she hasn't been very clear on the details. And that a lot of times you've acted like a 'second' mother to her, which, considering my own daughter…" Rose makes an impatient noise, " I'm very glad you were there to help her, when she needed it. After Dawn died, Buffy was pretty broken up. Dropped out of school, and such…"

Joyce pours herself a cup of coffee. " So, I don't suppose she told you about the other thing ,then."

" Other thing?" Rose looks puzzled, and a little suspicious. " What other thing?"

Joyce looks at her, and nods. " I think we need to have a little talk, Rose. I need to catch you up on what's actually been happening to my daughter and you're granddaughter… and how Faith fits into all of this."

" Somehow, I think I'm going to be surprised, " Rose looks at Joyce. " Am I going to be surprised?"

" That may be an understatement," Joyce says, somewhat cautiously.

Rose moves to the stove, moving pans off the burners and turning them off. She turns to Joyce.

" I believe breakfast will be late this morning." She says, leading Joyce into the dining room to talk.

2

Faith slows to a walk as she approaches the Weiss house. She's just finished a 5 mile run, and is giving her muscles some cool down time before she hits the shower. She stops for a moment, at the driveway, just looking in.

This last week has been a strain on Faith. Every passing day that Buffy's in the hospital, and not waking up, only increases the guilt she feels. _If only I'd listened to my gut, she'd probably be awake and ok now._ She feels bad every time she sees Joyce, because though she says she doesn't blame her, Faith can't help but feel Joyce must be at the least disappointed in her. Something she never wanted to happen.

Willow's been a little remote. Faith chalks that up to Willow's feelings of guilt, which she's been trying her best to alleviate for Willow. _How was she supposed to know what was going to happen? And there was the good chance that Buffy would've just bolted… making it worse. No, she did the right thing._ Faith knows that isn't the only thing Willow feels guilty, about, however. She shares that guilt.

_I know I shouldn't have let it happen. As soon as we started … I dunno, being together, I should've stopped it. And I'm thinking, Willow feels the same. But how can I feel it's wrong? Especially since Buffy was cheering us on from England… if she was even _in _England then. That doesn't make it right, however. Nor is finding comfort now from each other? Really an option. Not with Buffy lying… just say it… comatose in the hospital._

Also freaksome to her is the fact that Rose insisted she stay in the back house while Buffy was in the hospital. _Ok, why is she doing that? I don't think she's suddenly come to the conclusion that I'm a pretty swell chick. So, why is she having me stay here?_ She can't help but think it's partly Willow's doing. _Which, again, strange. Since Willow seems to want to keep away from me._

She's notice a shift in Rose's attitude towards her too. While not exactly asking her to join the family, she isn't treating her like something you pick up on your shoe unexpectedly, either. Faith can't figure the change out. It doesn't play; not with her past experience of how people react to her. _Usually, it's all nice at first, then they get to know her, and boom! Get lost. I don't get why she's suddenly being nice. _Faith shrugs, figuring it's one of those mysteries surrounding the scoobies that she'll never get.

Faith starts down the driveway, making it halfway before she spots someone waiting at her door. A red-headed someone that can make her heart start to pound faster and harder in her chest. _Ok, she hasn't seen me yet. Maybe if I just turn around and … damn. _ Willow turns her head, and raises her arm in a small wave at Faith. Faith doesn't return the wave; she nods quickly to acknowledge it. _Ok, why is she here now? I thought we were playing avoid each other. At least, that's what it's seemed like to me. _

" Hey," Willow says, when Faith approaches the door.

" Hey, Red," Faith responds, taking out the key to open the door." What's up?"

Willow senses Faith's unease at her being here; but she just couldn't stay away anymore. _She's been stand offish since we took Buffy to the hospital. As if…ok, no as if. We're ashamed of …shoot, I don't like this feeling of being ashamed of how I feel about her. No, I hate it, actually. And because she's been so … distant, I've played along. But damn… she's right here, and I see her come and go, and I want to… shoot, just chill._

"So, what's up, Red?" Faith asks a second time, since Willow didn't respond to the first query.

" Huh? Oh, sorry." Willow smiles a little, " guess my mind was a million miles away. Gram and Joyce are in the house, talking, and that's always worrisome," She shrugs. " Anyway, I just wanted to see how you're doing."

" I don't think that's all of it, is it? " Faith half smiles. " You're worried about Buffy. I get that. Me, too." She walks into the little house. " I guess I'm doing peaches, all considered." She turns, and looks at Willow. " Did you want to come in, Red?"

_Shit. Buffy. Damn, I'm good… she's in the hospital, maybe never waking up again, and I'm all worried about my feelings. Darn. What kind of friend am I?_

" May I? Should I? I mean… would it be right?" Willow looks conflicted.

" I'm not going to attack you, Red. And you can leave the door open, so everyone knows nothing's going on, ok?" Faith sounds a little impatient. " I know… never mind, don't want to go there. But aren't we friends? Or did we give that one up, too?" Faith sits on the bed, turning to look up at Willow in the doorway.

" Faith, that's really not fair," Willow says, coming over and grabbing a chair. Placing it away from the bed. " You think I wanted to leave? I hated it; I've hated it for every minute we've been apart. But what choice did I have, really? Hang around, wait for Buffy to come back? Have a messy breakup where you're all emotionally torn up? Me too. And what about Buffy? She'd be hurt and confused and not getting it."

" Buffy knew pretty much what the what was, Red. She pretty much told me it before she… " Faith shakes her head. " She said we belong together. Imagine that? She wanted me to 'find' you, make it up with you. Funny, huh? Little did I know she knew exactly where you were…" Faith gets a tight, funny little grin on her face. " A girl eight thousand miles away knew what was going on, and we didn't even really know what was going on. Now, you've got to admit, there's a laugh in there somewhere." Faith isn't laughing.

Neither is Willow. " Wish I could get the yuks, cuz I'm not seeing it, " Willow says. " Look, Faith, I came to say that maybe you should just concentrate on Buffy, and … well, we just got to forget an us ever really existed. I think it's best you're with Buffy… what's so funny?"

Faith is laughing bitterly. " You sound just like her. She said almost the same thing. " Forget me, Faith, go with Willow" … well, essentially. She's telling me how she missed me, and loved me, then drops that on me. Sorry, I just find it… actually, " Faith's face grows a little bleak, " I don't find it funny. Not a bit funny." She looks pointedly at Willow. " Sound kinda familiar?"

Willow stands looking at her, blushing. " It's not right, us… you and me."

" Yeah, it just keeps getting to be more like that Buffy conversation." Faith frowns. " I'm beginning to see the problem here."

_Me too, _ Willow thinks. _I love you, and I shouldn't love you, and it's wrong, and I still love you._ "What… what's the problem."

" Me, " Faith says simply, " I'm the problem."

" Wait… no, that's … ok, that's just insane-o talk, " Willow says, standing up. She walks over to Faith. " How can you think _you're_ the problem?" She sits next to her.

"How can I not think I'm the problem, Red?" Faith looks at her. " I have two girls who say they love me. I know I love both of them. Now, what's the deal here? How can I love you both? And, why do you keep trying to do ' the right thing' by shoving me back and forth towards each other. It's so noble, I want to puke. It sounds like a badly written story. I can't make up my mind with you two, and you two shoving me in opposite directions, not helping one bitty bit."

" Faith, I'm only trying to do the right thing here. Believe me, It's not matter of not wanting you. It's what's right. You and Buffy, you …"

" STOP! Right there, it's the same thing Buffy said. Almost. And I can't take it. Because, frankly, I guess I'm just too selfish. If I want something, I want it. I want it so much, it aches til I get it. But with you two, it's I want you, but go with her. And it's crazy. Don't you see that?" She looks at Willow, and sighs, " No, you don't see that. God, YOU two belong together. Of course, that could never happen, cuz you'd take 20 years to figure out if it was right or not! But you both care so much about each other, how the other feels, how can I come between that. And face it, no matter which I chose, that's what'd happen. Because there would be hurt feelings. Ok, and that sounds terribly conceited, but dammit, it's also true. Isn't it?"

Willow sits stunned under the tirade. She looks at Faith, and then away. _That's crazy talk. Of course it's not true! How could that be… _ then the truth hits her, and she just shakes her head. _Damn, it's true. It's really true!_

" Faith," Willow almost whispers, " I don't know what to say…"

" There's nothing to say, Red. That's the point, and the problem," Faith turns away. " I'm the problem. I can't chose between you, because I love you both and don't want to hurt either of you. And you both don't want to hurt each other. So… no matter what, no matter who I chose, there'd always be a 900 pound gorilla in the corner. One blonde, one red-headed."

" I don't want to be a gorilla," Willow declares, " I mean, I don't want to … you know what I mean." She runs out of steam.

" Pretty sure, that's what Buffy would say, if she were talking."

That brings down the curtain of silence. Guilt is good for that.

Faith puts a hand on Willow's thigh. " Is there even a little jealousy in you over Buffy? She admitted she was a little jealous over you…"

Willow looks at her, and chuckles. Then it breaks into a laugh, and then she's falling over, laughing. Faith is looking at her like she's gone 'round the bend.

" What's so funny?" Faith isn't upset, more curious.

" A little jealous? Me? A little jealous? Over Buffy?" Willow keeps laughing, almost hysterically. She goes on for a couple more minutes, then finally gets it back in control. "you weren't here for the great Buffy-Willow fight. When I found out it was her living back here, we got into it. I told her she was treating you like crap, stringing you around, making you crazy, and that I wished she just really _would_ disappear, so we could be happy. And she pretty much called me a slutty, backstabbing, girl-friend stealing whore of a friend. Oh, and then she slapped me!"

Faith misses the humor in it. " That's exactly what I _don't_ want to cause between you two. See, I'm jealous too. I'd give my eyeteeth… shit, all my teeth, to have what you and B have."

" Huh? Did I miss something?" Willow looks bewildered. " Nothing going on between Buffy and me!"

" The hell there isn't. It's not moon, June and crooning romantic sweep you off your feet love, but Willow… it's love. Not sexual, not romantic, but it's deep and abiding. Hell, you two would probably still love each other when you're blue haired old ladies in adjoining rooms at the nursing home. You guys have got something so… rare and special, I'm so jealous I could spit. I'd love to have what you guys have. You just… mesh. You guys are so close, you can't see it. But it's so damned real. And you think I could break that up?" Faith smiles, sadly. " I'm the problem, Will. I love you both, and I can't have either of you without killing something precious."

Willow gets this cold feeling. It starts in her stomach, and works it's way up into her heart.

" What're you saying, Faith?" Willow looks at her, " what're you trying to tell me?"

" I can't do it. I can't break you guys up," Faith says, quietly, " it'd be like… hell, I don't have a clever phrase for it, I just know it'd be wrong. Way more wrong than anything else. No matter how it went down, all three of us would be miserable. Me and you, or Buffy and me, doesn't matter. Someone's hurt, and the other two? Living with the gorilla. Eventually, it'd tear us apart. And that'd be way worse than me… just leaving." She shrugs." Soon as I know B's back on track, I'm leaving. I've got to."

" What if Buffy never gets ' back on track'?"

" Still doesn't work. Because the guilt? Would kill us."

" No. no. no. no." Willow shakes her head, not accepting this. " No. You're wrong. I know you're wrong. You cant' just… no, I don't accept it. I won't accept it. There's got to be a way… I just need to think. Think about it, figure it out. And I will. I won't accept this." She looks at Faith." You're precious to us, too. There's no way we want… either of us would want… you gone. I know if Buffy were here, she'd say the same damned thing. NO!" She shoots up off the bed, turning on Faith, " how can you be so cold? How can you just walk away from us? Don't' we mean anything to you?"

Suddenly, Willow's on Faith's lap, She pushes her back on the bed. " Don't you love us?" She starts covering her face with kisses. " Don't we make you happy?" More kisses. She crawls up on Faith, straddling her hips. " I don't care, Faith. I love you, I adore you! I don't need you all the time. I don't need to be selfish. I can share. Be with Buffy. Love Buffy. Be her girlfriend. Just sometimes, be with me. Love me. Care about me a little. Is that asking too damned much?" She starts pulling up Faith's sweatshirt." I love you, don't you see? That's why I didn't call Joyce back. Because then she'd come, and you with, and Buffy would go home with you…and I'd be left out… and I couldn't take that… not having you…even a little… It was wrong, I know that. I want you to have Buffy. But please, just love me a little… just a little bit. Please?"

"Stop it!" Faith grabs her wrists. As gently as she can, she moves Willow off of her, and sets her on the bed. " God, Willow, you're better than this. You don't need to do this. Not for me. I'm not worth it. Believe me, you can find better than me. You're young, attractive, sexy… " She stands up, going to a corner where she feel safer. " Why couldn't you two be like… one girl? Billow, or Wuffy… or something like that? This is killing me, because I love you both so damned much. But we just can't do this. You two have something too special together, and now I'm causing you to betray her this way? I can't do that; and I won't let you do this to yourself."

Faith goes over, and pulls Willow up. She turns her, and pushes her to the door. " Go back to the other house, Willow. This is over."

" You're so cold," Willow says, softly. Her eyes are sad beyond words. " You're so mean. How can you do this? All I want to do is love you. I don't want anything else." She turns, and walks out the door. " Why do I feel this way about you, and you… don't feel anything for me?" She walks away, not crying, just slumped.

Faith watches her go, and turns. She walks to where the speed bag is mounted on its stand. She hits it hard, once, sending it flying.

_Because I'm so damned cold, Red._

She walks to the bathroom to shower.

3

Rose sits silently across from Joyce, a small frown on her face.

Joyce has just spent the last 2 hours telling her about life in Sunnydale. Her daughter's calling as a slayer. Willow being a very powerful Wicca, and Faith also being a slayer. What actually happened to Buffy.

Rose blinks, rises, then sits back down. She looks at Joyce, then cocks her head to the side.

" What you told me? Is rather fantastic. All right, beyond that. Almost unbelievable. " She gets a worried look on her face, " and disturbing."

" I know, " Joyce says, reaching out and patting the older woman's hand. " It's how I felt the first time I learned about it. Believe me, Buffy kept me in the dark over 2 years before I knew what was happening. I don't think she would've told me then, but she staked a vampire on my front porch that was trying to attack me."

" So, your daughter's this mystical warrior that fights the forces of evil? Vampires, demons, and things like that?" She looks at Joyce. " And Faith is one, too? Except she went bad, and they had her in prison?" Rose turns towards the back house. " Do you think it's safe for her to… I mean, be living here?" Rose looks worried.

" Faith's changed. Believe me, I knew her when she had problems, and now, after being in prison. She's changed a lot. A little rough, a little loud sometimes; getting her in a dress? Rather hard. But she's got a good heart. I trust her with my life. She lived with me for more than a year."

" Yes, I sensed she was… ok," Rose nods.

" Sensed?"

" Well, the Weiss family, especially the females, have always had an ability to … I don't know, sense the emotions and , well, I guess, character of others. I don't know how we got it, but my grandmother could tell what you were thinking just by looking at you." Rose chuckles. " That was scary, at times."

" I bet. Willow's very…gifted, you know, " Joyce says.

Rose's brow furrows, and she frowns.

" Is there something wrong?" Joyce asks.

" I'm not sure I'm happy about her being…so involved with Wicca," Rose says, " I mean, when she first started, I supported her. I knew her parents, Ira and my daughter, Sheila… were against it. But I thought it was harmless, and a good way to break from them. Willow's always been rather shy. But I had no idea she was so … advanced." Rose nods her head. " We're Jewish, you know. And while I'm not a fanatical orthodox like Ira, I'm still somewhat religious. Not sure that witchcraft and Judaism mixes very well. A lot of Jews got persecuted by early Christians because they were thought to be practicing the black arts." Rose shakes her head slowly. " No, I'm not sure I'm happy about this at all. I'm going to have to have a little talk to Willow about this."

" Please, don't be too hard on her, " Joyce says. " I know part of the reason she became involved with witchcraft was to help out Buffy fighting the bad things. She really has a good heart, Rose. You'd really be proud of her."

" Oh, I'm very proud of my granddaughter, Joyce," Rose smiles. " She's smart, funny, she's grown up a lot; she's a lot more confident about herself than she used to be. I attribute at least part of that to your daughter," She looks at Joyce and smiles, "and even when I didn't know who she was, I could tell her mother took good care in raising her."

Joyce blushes. " Thank you."

" And I'm not mad at Willow. I just…well, I'm concerned. She's dabbling in things that could be very harmful to her. I don't want her to get hurt."

" Might be a little late for that, Gram, " Willow says, walking into the room.

" Willow Danielle Rosenberg! Exactly how long have you been listening?" Rose asks, not all that proud of her granddaughter, the snoop.

" Just for a little bit, Gram," She turns to Joyce, " You didn't tell her about the addiction, did you?"

" I thought it best you told her that, honey." Joyce says.

" Wait? Addiction? You were doing drugs?" Rose looks shocked and upset.

" No, no Grams. Nothing like that. Magic addiction. Unfortunately, seeking a way to destroy Glory, and well, cure Tara? I played with things I shouldn't have…" She looks down. " I know I disappointed you, and I'm very sorry, Gram."

" Yes, I'm very disappointed, Willow," Rose sighs. " I thought at least I taught you better, even if your parents were less than there. I just thought I knew you better than I do." Rose sits silently, gazing at her.

" Gram, please, don't be angry with me. That's…over… I don't do dark arts … I worked hard, and with Buffy's help, I've managed to put it behind me. I'm hoping you can forgive me."

" Willow? What can I forgive? You made a choice. A bad choice, in my judgment, but you did it. You paid the price. I'm sure it wasn't easy, what you had to go through," Rose smiles sadly, " It's just it points out that I don't know you as well as I thought I did. That happens, I suppose, when you grow up Change is going to happen." Rose nods slowly," I think you're very lucky you had a friend like Buffy to be there when you needed her."

" I know, Gram," Willow's voice breaks. " I know." She squeezes her eyes tight to hold back the tears. " I've got to help her Gram… anyway I can."

" Willow," Rose says, giving her a sidelong glance, " I'm sure the doctors are doing all they can for her."

" I don't think the doctor's know what's causing her condition, Gram," Willow says simply. " they did an MRI on her, and found nothing? Is that right, Mrs. Summers?"

Joyce nods." They could find none of the physical trauma that usually indicates a coma, that's true, " Joyce agrees." They want to run further tests, but I'm not sure they'll find anything."

" I know you don't like… what I do, Gram," Willow says quietly. " But I have to do anything I can to help her. She's saved me too many times to not try everything I know."

" I really don't feel good about this, Willow," Rose says, " Magic can be dangerous. Do you have any idea what you might try?"

" Not yet, Gram," Willow lies, " I want to talk to Mr. Giles about it. And do some research. I want to do it right, Gram."

" I know I can't forbid you to do this, Willow. You're an adult. But I do think you need to think carefully about this. This could be dangerous for you, and your friend Buffy," Rose says firmly.

" Do you really think I'd do anything to hurt Buffy?" Willow snaps, everything piling up on her. " Buffy's my best friend. I'd rather hurt myself," She turns to Joyce, " I promise you, I'll be very careful with Buffy. I promise" She walks out of the room, not saying another word.

" Excuse me," Rose says, getting up.

" Don't be hard on her, please Rose. I know this has been very trying on her," Joyce says.

" It's been no picnic for you either, Joyce. I don't believe she has to be rude to make her point."

At that moment, Willow returns to the room. She walks back to the table. "I'm sorry. I lost my temper and shouldn't have. I know this is terrible for you, Mrs. Summers. I'm sorry if I was rude to you." She goes to her, giving her a hug. " I'm just worried about Buffy. "

_Sometimes, they can still surprise you, _ Rose thinks. She walks to Willow, " Are you ok, honey?"

For a moment, Willow wants to just fall into her Gram's arms and pour out her heart. But she can't. She knows Gram wouldn't understand.

" I'm fine Gram, " Willow says softly. " I just need to do something upstairs. I'm sorry I was rude." She leaves again, and goes upstairs.

Rose follows her with her eyes. She realizes that something's happened, and can't help but regret that a small wall has come between her and Willow. She knew it had to happen someday; she just had hoped not today.

She walks back to the table.

" Can I get you another coffee, Joyce?"

" Actually, I need to be getting dressed. I need to get to the hospital as soon as possible. Giles has been there with Buffy all night, and I want to relieve him. Thank you, Rose, for the talk. I think it helped."

Joyce rises, returning her cup to the kitchen. She then heads upstairs to dress.

Rose picks up her cup, and heads towards the kitchen.

She can't remember when she's felt so alone.

4

Rupert Giles looks over at Buffy while she sleeps. He shakes his head.

_She looks so young. Too young to be doing this. God, why is she doing this? She's not a slayer any longer. Why'd she risk her life to take on that demon? _

" Buffy, this was your chance to be a normal girl; just like you always said you wanted," He murmurs softly. " Why don't you take it and run? Why're you still fighting."

He remembers all the times Buffy complained how she just wanted to do … _how'd she put it, again? … _ _Oh yes, girly stuff._ He sighs. _Now that you can be just a normal girl, you seem to be driven to be what you were. Why, Buffy? Why not relax now, find out what life has to offer. Instead of almost…_ He leans into his hand, feeling his eyes tearing up. _It's Faith's turn now… let her have her turn._

He frowns, thinking how that's his biggest failure: Faith. He could've done so much more for her, and didn't. _She needed me, like Buffy needed me, but I wasn't there for her like she needed. I should've done more. Should've stood up to Wes when he was being such a prig to her. She needed so much, I didn't know how to deal with it. Or, maybe Giles, you didn't want to take the time to deal with it? You were a bit of a fool, and a bit of a prig yourself, Rupert. Too little, and too late, Giles. Crying over spilt milk doesn't get it back in the carton, does it?_

He just hopes that Helen will work out for Faith. He pulled a lot of strings to get her assigned to Faith. But he knew Helen. Knew her parents before they were killed so young, and followed her career. He encouraged her to join the Watcher's Council, and did his best to see she wasn't shunted into a corner to rot, like so many had.

_I think Helen can be a good friend to Faith, if she lets her be. Helen's a little stuffy at times, but she's got a good heart. I just hope Faith will let her in._

He reaches over, and strokes Buffy's hair. " And what are we going to do with you, Buffy? How are we going to help you?"

Giles leans back, and watches over her, like he's done for years.

5

"You ok?" Faith asks, coming over and sitting next to Willow. " You look stressed."

Everyone is at Rose's house, in the living room. Evening has fallen. Willow has called them together, saying she wanted to talk about Buffy. She hadn't been clear as to what this was about, and she was starting to think this might not go over well.

" Huh?" Willow looks up from nervously playing with her glass of water. " Oh yeah, I'm fine."

Willow looks around the room, at the expectant faces. _Oh, there gonna hate this. This is a dumb idea. I know they're gonna think that. But what else can we do? _

"Red, what's going on? You didn't say what you wanted to talk about. I think everyone's getting a little restless. You might want to say something." Faith whispers to Willow. She pats Willow's knee." It's gonna be ok, whatever it is, ok?" Faith smiles at her.

_Easy for you to say. You don't have to try to convince them to let me do this. Damn._

" Hi, everybody. Glad you could come, " Willow stands up. " Yeah, ok, of course you're going to come. Where else you going to be, huh?" _Oh, this is not good. Look at them. Yikes. _" I wanted to talk about Buffy, and what we're going to do about her."

" Willow, I don't understand." Rose speaks up." Do about her? She's in a coma, dear. What can we do about her."

" That's just it, Gram. Giles has talked to the doctors, and so have Joyce and I." She paces around a little, nervously. " None of the doctors can find a physical cause for her being in a coma. There's no head trauma, no swelling. As far as they can tell, she shouldn't be asleep. She should've woken up already,"

"Well, they did say it could be some other reason they haven't discovered," Joyce says, " but it's true. So far, the doctors seem to be puzzled by her being unconscious. "

" I still don't understand, Willow. What can we do?" Rose asks.

" The thing is, " Willow leaps in with both feet, " I don't think it's a coma at all. I think Buffy's hiding out. She doesn't want to wake up."

" What?"

" That's rather absurd, Willow."

" Where did you get that idea?"

" Red, color me stupid, but I'm not getting that."

" I've seen her do something like this before…" Willow says, quietly.

" When?" Joyce asks, confused.

" You mean, when we were fighting Glory," Giles nods." Yes, I remember that."

" I'm sorry. No one told me about this?" Joyce looks at Willow and Giles. " When did this happen?"

" It was when Glory found out Dawn was the Key. We were going to make a run for it. We'd picked up a motor home, and were coming to get you when we were attacked. We ran, and holed up in an old abandoned service station on the outskirts of Sunnydale. Glory found us, and snatched Dawn. It was too much for Buffy. She … well, she went catatonic."

" But you…you told me … Buffy told me that Glory snatched Dawn, and you were going to get her back. But she was fine."

" That was later Joyce. After we brought her back."

" We didn't tell you Joyce, because we thought you had enough to worry about, " Giles adds in. " We thought it would be better…"

" Well, you thought wrong, Rupert," Joyce looks upset, " I'm not a child. If my … if Buffy is hurt, I want to know about it." That last remark is slightly pointed in Faith's direction. " Or if she's run away, I'd like to know." At Willow.

Both look a little crestfallen.

" I'm not angry," Joyce smoothes it over," I just wish I'd known."

" I know. I'm sorry, Mrs. Summers. I… look, the point is, I think after what's happened to Buffy, and everything, she might be hiding out again. She can't deal, and she felt she needed to withdraw." She looks at them all, " I'm not sure she'll wake up unless we find a way to get to her, bring her back out."

" All right, let's say you're right, Willow," Rose says, " I still don't understand what we can do. It's not as if we can go inside her head ."

" Well, actually, Gram…" Willow trails off.

" I'm sorry, I'm lost. Are you saying you can get inside Buffy's head?" Joyce asks, looking puzzled. " How?"

" Magic," Rose says, a note of disapproval in her voice.

" I go into her mind, Joyce. I try to find out why she's hiding. Hopefully, I can convince her to come back out," Willow says, ignoring her grandmother's somewhat disparaging remark.

" Sounds rather dangerous," Joyce doesn't sound convinced.

" It is dangerous," Giles says, not at all happy with this idea. " There's no telling where Willow will wind up. You might tap into a nightmare, or worse, Willow."

" This isn't right. Using magic like this," Rose shakes her head, " There's no telling what might happen. " She sees Willow's frown. " I'm sorry, but I don't think you've thought this through, Willow. I think you're being careless."

" I have to agree with you're grandmother, Willow. There are inherent risks in what you're proposing. To Buffy, and especially, to yourself." Giles leans back, " It's very possible you could become trapped in Buffy's mind. You very nearly did the last time you did this."

" That was the first time I'd ever done it, Giles, " Willow says, feeling herself being flanked, " I've done it since. I know how to be careful."

" Do you indeed?" Rose asks, taking a glance over at Faith. " It seems to me some of your recent choices have been a little impulsive." Rose sighs," I'm not saying you don't want to help your friend, Willow. I know you do. But I still believe that you're being somewhat rash about this. We're not even sure that Buffy isn't seriously ill. There _is_ still that possibility. I don't think you playing about in her mind will help that."

Faith rises. " I'm sorry, Mrs. Weiss. You've been very nice to me, allowing me to stay in the back house and all. But I can't stand by and watch you put down Willow like this, " Faith moves over to Willow. "I've known Willow for awhile now, and I know the one thing she _doesn't_ do anything unless she's done a lot of thinking about it. God, she even organizes her coupons for expiration date and value. What does that tell you?" She looks at Rose," my point is, Willow wouldn't just rush in and do something that might harm Buffy. And Giles, Joyce and Willow have checked with the doctors. NO reason Buffy shouldn't be awake, but she isn't . She's done this before, and I know for one, I trust her to do it right." She looks at the others. " Matter of fact, I want to go with. I think me being there? I can be like a backup, in case anything goes wrong. So, I trust her completely. And I think you should too."

" Faith, you don't have to do that. I can do this, no need for you to take the risk. I admit, there is some risk. But, I can handle it. I'll be fine." Willow says, looking at her.

" Nuh-uh. I don't think it's gonna be easy to get B to come out, and I figure, both of us doin' it? Be better than just you." She looks intently at Willow." If there's a risk, I'm not letting you take it alone, got it?"

The one getting it is Rose. She looks at Faith differently. _Maybe I misjudged her. I saw how broken up she was about Buffy… and now she's running to Willow's defense._ A very tiny smile breaks across her face.

" I still believe this is somewhat dangerous, " Giles says, " and I'm not convinced you should be putting yourself at such risk. Either of you."

" What then, Giles?" Faith looks at him. " I see everyone trying to shoot down Red's idea… but I'm not seeing much in the way of other ideas. Except to sit and wait. Well, I'm no doc, but I don't think Buffy hanging around in a coma is helping her any. I think she's pulling away farther every day. So, who's got another idea?"

No one says anything.

" Uh huh, kinda thought so, " Faith nods. She turns to Joyce, who's been silent. " I haven't heard from you, Joyce. What do you think?"

Joyce takes a second to answer. " I don't like the idea of putting you and Willow at risk," Joyce admits, " I'm fond of both of you." She turns to Willow. " Do you think this will really work?"

" I really do, Mrs. Summers."

" And you want to take the risk?"

" I've got to, Mrs. Summers. It's Buffy. How many times has she risked her life to save me?" She walks over to Joyce, and leans over. " I can't do nothing, Mrs. Summers. I have to try." _Or I'll never be able to live with myself. Not after what I've done._

Joyce takes a second, and looks deeply into Willow's eyes. Willow feels uncomfortable about it, but doesn't flinch.

" Ok, Willow, I trust you. If you think it'll help, I'm behind you," Joyce nods.

" I think that settles it. I think Joyce has the biggest vote here, " Faith says. She smiles at Willow, " anyway, it's 3 to 2 now."

" I still think you're playing with fire, Willow," Rose says, " I don't want to see any of you hurt. Please, really think about this, dear. Don't rush into it."

" Gram, I love you," Willow comes over, and kneels by her side. " I know you're just trying to protect me. I love you for that. But you've gotta trust me. I know what I'm doing here. I'm going to be very careful. Believe me, the last thing I want is Buffy or myself harmed."

" I'm hoping you're including me in that no harm stuff?" Faith arches a brow.

" Faith, I can't let you do this. It's risky enough for me. I don't want…"

" Forget it, Red. You don't let me go, I'm pulling my vote," Faith walks close to, but not next to Willow. " Look, kiddo, I'm just there to provide the muscle, ok? I'm not gonna interfere unless it gets dicey. I just want to help. I really need to, Red."

" I'd feel a lot better if you included Faith in this, Willow," Rose says. " I think she'd provide good backup for you." She smiles a small but warm smile at Faith. " I can see she cares about you."

" Ok, ok, I get it, " Willow sighs. " If you really want to, you can go with. Just, let me be in charge, ok?"

" Deal, Red"

" I suppose that makes me the last hold out, then, " Giles sighs. " Willow, I'm not trying to be an obstructionist. I just fear for your safety. I don't want anyone else to get hurt."

" I'd like you to be onboard with this, Giles, " Willow says, her tone resolved. " but with you, or without you, this is going to happen."

" I know," Giles says quietly, " and despite my reservations, I'm onboard."

Willow gets up, and walks over to Giles, encircling his neck with her arms. " Thank you, it really means a lot." She hugs him.

" Yes, well, " Giles says, a little embarrassed by the display of affection, " I best return to the hospital. I'm sure there are things you wish to prepare before you performing this ritual." He stands up, and walks towards the front door.

" I think I'll join you, Rupert," Joyce says, grabbing her purse and coat, " I'd like a spend a little time with Buffy tonight."

The two of them exit out the front door.

" Well, I better get the stuff I need together, and I think it's important we be rested before we start. We'll do this tomorrow. That ok with you, Faith?"

" That's peaches here, Red," Faith nods, " I'm gonna do a patrol, check how things are. I'll seeya guys later, " Faith walks out the front door.

Willow begins to gather up the cups and glasses silently. Rose watches, noting that Willow seems to be avoiding talking to her. She frowns, realizing that by the day, they seem to be pulling apart.

" Willow, dear, are you upset with me?" Rose asks, joining her in the kitchen.

" No, Gram," Willow says quietly, setting the dishes in the sink. She looks out the window rather than at her grandmother. " I just wish you trusted me more." She starts to run water in the sink.

" Willow, it's not that I don't trust you, dear. I know you'll do your best. You always do. It's just that what I've learned about your life is rather surprising to me. I had no idea you were so advanced into witchcraft, nor did I know about Buffy and Faith. It's a lot to take in over a day or two. You have to give me some time to sort it all out."

" Aw, Gram. I probably should've told you about everything," Willow turns to her, her expression soft, " I wasn't trying to lie to you so much, as protect you. I didn't want you to worry about me. You do enough of that already, just me being Willow. I think you're the only one in the fam that does," Willow comes over to her, hands still wet, and hugs her. She chuckles. " Sorry, should've dried off first." She starts to break the hug, but Rose pulls her back into it.

" I very proud of you, Willow. I am. " Rose hugs her tightly. " I just want you to know that. I might not agree with what you're doing, but I know you have a good heart, dear. And that's more important than anything else. You're very special to me, and I'm sorry I'm such a worry wart, sometimes. I just want you to be safe."

" Aw, Gram," Willow sounds impatient, but the smile and her eyes belie her tone of voice. She pulls away from Rose a little. " I love you too, " She kisses her Gram on the cheek. " Now, let me get this done before it turns midnight, ok?" She grins, and turns back to the sink.

" Ok, sweetie, " Rose says, " but you will have a piece of apple pie with me after, right?"

" As if you could stop me, " Willow giggles, " you know I love your apple pie, Gram."

Rose walks into the living room, and retrieves the last of the glasses. She stands still for a moment, looking out through the curtains into the night.

_Please, God. If you can, watch over her. Keep her from harm. She's very special to me._

She picks up the glasses and heads for the kitchen.

6

Faith returns from her morning run the next day to find Willow standing at her door, waiting. She sees a bag sitting on the ground next to her. With a questioning look, she unlocks the door to the back house and enters, waving Willow to follow her in.

" Hey, " Faith says, " you're kinda early, aren't you? I was hoping to shower and have breakfast before we left."

" Oh… yeah, well, I do want to get going early, but I just came to thank you. You know, about last night. The support and stuff."

" No, don't. I mean, I gotta admit, I think the whole thing you're planning? A little on the screwball side. But if anyone can pull it off, it's you."

"Wait, wait a minute, " Willow says, " You think it's screwball? I don't get that. Why'd you volunteer to … well, go along, then?"

" Cuz, you needed the support. I mean, would look kinda bad if I said, " Hey, let her do it, " Then chicken out doing it myself, " Faith goes to the dresser, getting some underwear and other clothing. " But frankly, Red, all this hocus-pocus abracadabra stuff? Gives me a major case of the wigs." She walks to the bathroom. " Beside which, I gotta wonder, are we doing the right thing?" With that, she enters the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

" Whoa! Hold on, " Willow follows her into the bathroom.

" HEY! Red! A little privacy?" The half dressed Faith makes moves to cover herself.

" Oh, for Goddesses sake, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before, Faith!"

" Yeah, and we know how that works out, " Faith says, ruefully. " Could you turn around, please?"

Willow sighs, and complies. " Ok, you're modesty is safe!"

Faith finishes undressing, and hops in the shower, " So, ok, what was so important you had to follow me in here?"

_Beside the chance to see you naked? Ok, bad thoughts Not the day for Bad thoughts. _

" It's just what you said outside. About this being the right thing to do," Willow says, raising her voice to be heard over the water from the shower spray. " Why'd you say that?"

" Huh?"

" RIGHT THING TO DO? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?" Willow shouts.

" OH… look… you gotta understand about slayers. We're kind of fatalistic in our outlook on life. Hell, we gotta be, Red, " Faith shouts over the shower, " Thing is? We know we're not going to live forever. Me and Buff? Had a pretty long run on it. Hardly any slayer survives to her 25th birthday. They're rare as hens teeth. " The shower goes off, and an arm sticks out. " Gimme a towel, please?"

Willow walks over, and grabs a towel. She hands it to the arm.

" Ok, I know about that, " Willow says, " But you and Buffy are … well, special, you know? I mean, first of all… just the two of you existing as slayer at the same time. Well, Buffy's not a real slayer anymore, I guess, but you know what I mean. It's just the rules are already broken. Why shouldn't you both live past 25?"

Faith steps out of the shower, wrapped in the towel, much to Willow's secret regret.

" Look, thing is, our destiny is to fight. We do that, cuz we're warriors. I don't expect to live much longer, and B's already on borrowed time ever since she died fighting the master. She's had a better run that most," Faith walks to the sink, grabbing a brush and starting on her hair. " Did you ever think maybe this is just her time, Red?" She turns around, and looks at Willow. " Maybe she's not supposed to come out of this."

" I can't believe this, Faith!" Willow sounds angry, " I can't believe you're even thinking we should just leave her like that. God, I thought you loved her!"

Faith turns fully around, staring at Willow. " I do love her, Red. I love her enough not to try to bring her back if she's going to be like Tara. Think she'd love that, Red? Not knowing you, me, her mom… anyone? Being trapped in some hell of insanity, never getting out? Or worse, being brain dead, lying there, her body breathing, her mind nothing? I love Buffy for who she is, and who she can be. And, I love her enough to let her go."

" No, no, " Willow shakes her head, backing out of the bathroom. " No I won't buy that. You've got no way of knowing what's happening to her. What if she's stuck in a nightmare, reliving something awful from her past, never able to break free. Is that what you want? To condemn her to that? How could you?"

" And what's to say we could even pull her out? What if we get trapped right along with her?"

" That's it, isn't it?" Willow says, " It's scaring you, the idea of being in Buffy's mind. You're afraid something's going to go wrong, and you're going to be trapped, aren't you?"

" Well, have you even thought of that? That we could get stuck, and not get out? I know this sounds selfish. Ok, it _is_ selfish, but I'm really not ready to have my brain permanently linked with Buffy's, living in her nightmare."

" Faith, I told you, you don't have to do this," Willow looks at her, and feels massive guilt that right now she wants to forget Buffy, and just rip the towel off of Faith. " But I've got to. I've got to try to bring her out." _Otherwise, how could I even think of being with you?_ Willow thinks, _It'd never be right, she'd always be right there!_ " I've got to do this, Faith. She's my best friend, and I won't just let her slip away from me. I do, you don't. So why don't you just stay here?"

" No," Faith says, " not happening. I'm not going to let you go in to her mind, and be trapped forever, not alone. I'm not gonna let you get into some permanent mind fuck she might do to you, and not be there to pull you back."

" Faith…" Willow reaches out to her.

" Go on, go on. Let me get dressed so we can do this, if we're going to do this," Faith says, anger born from fear, " Just go in the other room, ok?"

Willow doesn't speak a word, she just goes into the front room, hearing the bathroom door shut behind her.

She walks over to the punching bag, and gives it a punch. She pulls back her hand, and waves it. " Ow, that hurts" She mutters.

_Damn. Buffy is always going to be there, no matter what,. No matter what happens, Even if she were to… god, don't think that, Will. But even if, she'd be there, haunting us, sitting looking at us. There can't be an _us_, because … forget it. I'll get her out, somehow, then I'm backing off. This will be my gift to Buffy, to make up for what I did with Faith. Give her Faith back. Move on, find someone for myself. Yeah, settle for a Ford when I've had a Mercedes. That's so gonna be easy. Uhhh. Just lets get this done…_

" Well, ok, " Faith says, walking out of the bathroom, " just let me throw on some shoes, and we're outta here," Faith wanders around the room, looking for her boots.

" Look, Faith, I'd just as soon as you don't come along. Really. I can handle this without you."

Faith looks up, holding one of her boots in her hand. " Get real, Red. Not going to happen. I said I was going with you, and that hasn't changed. So, knock it off, and help me find my other boot, ok?"

"Faith, I appreciate what you did. Supporting me in there. But if you're not onboard with this? … you're only going to get in my way. So, I'd rather you didn't go with me."

" I'm. Not. Going. To. Get. In. Your. Way." Faith says, irritation growing," And if you think you're doing it without me, you got another think comin', girl. Now, quit acting like a dope, and help me find my shoe."

" I'm not acting like a dope, " Willow bends over, seeing Faith's boot. She picks it up, and throws it at her. " You're acting like a moron."

" Hey!" Faith catches the boot, and looks at Willow angrily. " Are you trying to bean me?" She shakes her head, and sits on the bed, putting on her boot.

"God, you're always like this, " Willow says, her own temper rising. " Always thinking you know everything. You've got all the answers. Well, Faith, if you've got all the answers, tell me, please. Just give it to me, and we'll forget the whole thing."

" And you're being an idiot, not even being a little afraid, " Faith says, standing up. " I remember what happened when you ' accessed' Buffy the last time. Gave me your memories, remember? You almost didn't get out. But you're acting like it's a walk in the park. What the hell is wrong with you? Why aren't you even a little bit afraid?"

" Maybe I _am_ afraid, Faith. Maybe I am. But there's someone I care about, in trouble, and I'm gonna damn well do everything I can to help her," Willow comes over to Faith, getting in her face. " Do you _even_ give a damn about her?"

" How can you even…" Faith trails off, anger building. " Yes, if you need an answer to that stupid question, yes, Yes, YES! I care about Buffy. But she might be brain dead for all we know, and going in might just get you killed, or worse, you're in a permanent brain swamp with Buffy. Then what? Then what do I do?"

" Leave us, just like you're going to anyway!" Willow yells at her.

Faith feels an urge to slap her, but holds it back.

" You think I _WANT _ to leave? You think it's not killing me, knowing I have to give you _both_ up? Shit, you must think I'm a fucking ice cube. But tell me, Willow, you're so damned smart. I mean, you know every goddamn thing, including what I feel. Tell me Oh Ms. Smarty pants I know every goddamn thing worth knowing, tell me, who do I chose? Who do I chose, without all three of winding up miserable? Goddamn you!" Faith storms away. " I can't … I can't be with you right now. I meet you at the hospital. " Faith turns, and storms out the door.

" No you don't, goddamn you. No you don't!" Willow runs to the door. Seeing Faith nearing the end of the driveway, she casts a quick spell, ending by pointing at Faith and saying " Thicken!"

Fait stops suddenly, as if crashing into a wall.

"What the hell?" She touches the air in front of her…and can't push her hand forward. She turns and sees Willow standing there. " You. Figured it had to be you!" She storms back towards Willow and hits another invisible wall. " Oh great, what? What's your problem, Red? Drop this shit…NOW!"

Willow is up by her now, and she raises her hand, mumbling some phrases under her breath.

Faith reaches out, and touches the air. No wall.

" Good. Now, can I go?"

" NO!" Willow says. She gets right up into Faith, and stares at her. " Not 'til I've had my say!"

" Fine," Faith crosses her arms. She waits. Willow just stares at her. " Well, what?"

And suddenly as that, Willow just grabs her and puts her in a major lip lock. Faith is taken by surprise, and doesn't react for a second. Then she pushes Willow away.

" What the hell?" She's angry and confused. More confused than angry. Ok, maybe just confused.

" There, that's why. Now I've said it. I'll see you at the hospital!" Willow says, going around her, walking away.

Faith stands there, watching her go.

_Crazy, they're all fucking insane! _

She makes an impatiently angry noise, and follows Willow.

7 

_What the hell is she doing? Is she pulling another spell on me?_

Faith is almost running, yet for some reason can't seem to catch up with the red-headed Wiccan. Somehow, she manages to keep a block or two ahead, and is even now widening the gap between them. Faith kicks in some speed when she sees her turn a corner, but only finds her even further along when she gets there.

" Well, screw this then," Faith mutters, slowing down. _Let her have her goddamn 'alone time' then. _Faith starts to saunter towards the hospital, in no real hurry to get there. _Not like B's going anywhere._

Faith is in no big hurry to get to this particular ' battle'. In her own mind, her feelings about bringing back Buffy are conflicted. _Yeah, I love her. There's something about her that just does that to me._ But on the other hand, there's Willow. _How can I just turn my back on her? I've had a lot more time with her. What I've seen? I like. A lot. I haven't had that time with Buffy. If it really came to a choice, how would I choose? I can't, really. That's why, no matter how this turns out, I lose. I can't be with either. Not and have it turn out happy ever after. Someone loses, someone's hurt, and in the end, we all lose. Sucky to the max._

Faith reaches the hospital. First surprise. Willow isn't already inside, but waiting for her at the front entrance. Second surprise? She doesn't look mad; more sad and regretful.

" So, what? Re-thinking the whole mind walk thing, Red?" Faith asks as she approaches her.

" No, just… I really hate this being mad at each other. Can't we not not do this?" Willow moves closer to Faith, laying her hand on her arm. Faith doesn't try to remove it. " I'm scared too, Faith. When I was up there, telling the others what I wanted to do, I was scared silly. I know things can go wrong. That's why I didn't want you along. I don't want anything to happen to you. but you being here, doing this? Makes it better, easier for me. I feel braver with you with. Does that make sense? All I want to say is… I'm glad you're here. "

" Yeah, well, we better just get up there. Sooner we do this, sooner it's over, " Faith says, a little brusquely, to hide her own conflicting feelings and worry. Then she blows it all out of the water. "I'm sorry, I'm scared too. I'm glad you're here with. " _How can you be mad at her? It's like tossing kittens. It's just wrong. Oh, shit. Now I'm channeling B. That's never good!_

They go inside, go up the elevators, and walk down the hall to Buffy's private room, all in silence, each lost in their thoughts. The enter the room, and see Joyce and Giles already there with Buffy.

" Hi, guys. Sorry to be rude, but get out, " Faith says.

" I'm sorry?" Giles says a little affronted.

" She just means, we're going to do something that requires intense concentration. You being here?… not helpful." Willow smiles apologetically, " Sorry."

" You'll be careful?" Joyce says, looking at the two women.

" Oh yeah, Joyce. Not gonna get myself brain fried."

" That's comforting, " Joyce half smiles. " We'll be outside."

Taking Rupert by the arm, she walks out of the private room.

Willow puts down the bag, taking out some candles and putting them around them in a circular fashion. She lights the candles, saying a small prayer each time. Finally, she pulls out a small incense burner, and puts something in it, lighting it. It has a pleasant scent, not too heavy.

She grabs two chairs, and places them close to Buffy's bed, but not too close. She hands something to Faith.

" What's this? Oooo… a necklace!" Faith smiles. " And I didn't get you anything!" Faith needles Willow a little.

Willow is all business." Put it on , Faith. It's important. If for some reason we get lost from each other, hold onto the amulet, and think of me. I'll be able to find you that way." She puts one on herself.

" And visa versa" Faith says, putting hers on.

Willow nods, and takes Faith's hand. She laces her fingers with Faith's.

" Geeze, Red, I didn't know you wanted to get personal," Faith cracks, obviously nervous.

" We need to be in contact, so I can lead you in," Willow says, ignoring the joke. " Close you're eyes, and think about Buffy. Try to clear your mind of other thoughts."

_Yeah, and holding your hand? That's making it sooo easy._ Faith closes her eyes, and concentrates on the blonde one.

She hears Willow murmuring something in some foreign language under her breath. The image in her mind starts to waver, so she concentrates harder. Images float by her, and swirl around and around, almost as if caught in a whirlpool. In the center of the whirlpool is a small bright light. It grows brighter, and larger, soon drowning out everything else. She begins to feel uncomfortable, as if the light is making her nervous.

" You can open your eyes now, " She hears Willow say softly. Faith does.

" WHOA!"

They're standing in front of Buffy's house on Revello drive. It's a warm sunny California day, the sun caressing her skin. The street around them, everything seems perfect…except, nothings going on. There's no traffic, no people, nothing. Everything is still and calm.

" How the hell…?"

" We're in Buffy's mind. This is a gateway." Willow nods towards the house.

" Swell," Faith says, still awed, bewildered and feeling a little uneasy. " Now what?"

" I guess we go into the house," Willow says, pulling her along after. Their hands are still linked together.

" You guess?" Faith holds up the parade, digging in. " You GUESS? You don't KNOW?"

" Faith, it's different each time. Depending on what the person's thinking and feeling. Last time I entered Buffy's mind, I was inside her home in L.A. and Buffy was 6 years old, playing with a doll. I'm hoping this will be a bit different."

_Oh, it's different, all right. What the hell have I gotten myself into? MOMMY!I_

The two girls, one very reluctantly, climb the steps to the porch, and opening the door, enter the house.

" HOLY SHIT!"

To be continued


	21. Chapter 20

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 20

Disclaimer: Under advice of counsel, I must advise you that the characters appearing in this story that appeared on " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and " Angel" Television shows don't belong to me. They belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy , Inc. and Fox.( No kidding, is that a fact? Wow, and here we thought _you_ owned them. We're shocked. Shocked I tell you!). Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.( Gosh, and I really thought you looked up my life, just to put it in this story. Now, I'm crushed!). Yeah. By the way? The author owns any original characters and the story. Yeah, as if _anyone _ wants them. Hah!

A/N: Just to be clear as mud, we're walking around in Buffy's memory. Things may not make logical sense. It _IS _Buffy, after all.

13

Faith walks through the doorway, not sure exactly what to expect.

This wasn't even close.

They're on a beach, somewhere on the California coast. The day is perfect: bright and warm without being killer hot. The beach isn't overcrowded, the sand is clean and a light tan color, turning white at places. There are some pretty cliffs up ahead. And the water is a deep blue color. There's not a cloud in the sky. The only thing in the sky is a flock of seagulls, dive bombing for scraps.

" HOLY SHIT!" Faith exclaims, looking around. " Where the hell are we?"

" In Buffy's mind, Silly, " Willow shakes her head. " Obviously in a memory she wants us to see… and somewhere special to her, I'm guessing."

" Yeah, ok, but I can hear the ocean, smell the salt air, " Faith bends down, and touches the sand." It's gritty, it's sand."

" Yes, well, memories are made up of lots of things, you know. Not just sight, " Willow answers, distractedly. " I know this place. I've been here… no… I've seen it. But where?"

" Well, hot damn. If I'd know we were going to the beach, I would've brought a bikini and suntan lotion, " Faith says, looking around. " It's pretty nice here."

" Shhh. I'm trying to place this. I know this place," Willow chides her. _And thinking of you in a bikini, and oiled up? So not helping. Damn, mind on business, Willow!_ " I know this place from somewhere…" Willow trails off, looking around. She sees a sign, and wanders over to it. She looks, and then looks around, and looks at the sign again. She starts to get excited, jumping up and down, waving her hands to Faith. " I know it, I know it now. Yes, Ok! I knew I knew this place, " She says excitedly.

" What?" Faith is amused and puzzled at the same time.

" This place. I remember it now. It's the place where Hank Summers took Dawn and Buffy that first summer they were in Sunnydale. I knew it!" She almost starts to dance around. " I knew it, I knew it!"

" Hey, slow down," Faith chuckles." What's the big?"

" Don't you get it? Don't you know what this means?"

" Ummm… no," Faith says, more puzzled than ever.

" This must be where she's hiding out. This is… At her 20th birthday party, Dawn gave Buffy a picture. It was of them, here, and she made the frame herself, decorating it with shells she'd picked up from …" She points at the beach. " That time, at the party? It was just before Dawn learned what she was… and it must be the absolute last perfect unblemished memory Buffy has of Dawn… but… why here?" Willow sits down by the sign, face bewildered. " Why here?" She puzzles it a little more, and then slowly a large smile breaks out on her face." Of course, I get it… Oh god, I so get it now!"

" Ok, well, I'm still wandering around in the dark. Want to give me the Cliff Notes version?"

" The last thing, before everything sort of started spiraling for Buffy, the last pure, unadulterated memory Buffy has of being with Dawn, is at her 20th birthday party, and Dawn giving her the gift of the picture of them at this beach. Right after that, Dawn learned about what she was, and events started to take on their own direction. God, I've been a fool. All this time, I didn't get it. I just didn't get it!"

"Ok, and…I'm still NOT!" Faith says, starting to get irritated. " What the hell are you talking about?"

" This whole thing… it's about Dawn! Everything she's been about, since she's come back from being undead… it's about Dawn. Her guilt feelings over Dawn and her dying… oh god, even more… it's… all about her life after Dawn died… everything that happened… Oh…"

" Huh?"

" Don't you see? It all links together. After Dawn died, she was devastated. I just didn't know how much. It all tracks back to that night when she couldn't save Dawn. When Dawn leaped into the mystical portal to stop the destruction of our reality. She's blaming herself for what happened, and everything that happened after? She relates back to that. That's why she's here, now. A time before, way before, that happened. A time when she and Dawn were together, happy!"

" You mean everything she's been doing is kinda a big old guilt trip? That seems a little …."

" WILL! WILLOW! THERE YOU ARE!"

The two of them turn to the voice.

It's a very young Buffy running towards them. A Buffy that can't be much more than 12 years old. Behind her is Dawn… but Dawn is like 10… not 6…

" Ok, not getting this, Red. You said this happened, what? The first summer she was in Sunnydale… that should make her 16… but she's like 12… doesn't make sense."

" I think she's pulled up a younger version of herself, to be closer to Dawn's age. It's her memory; she can do whatever she wants with it."

" Hey, Red, what's wrong with your voice. You sound kinda funny."

Faith turns towards Willow, and does a double take.

Willow has regressed in age. She's not longer a young woman, or even a teenager. She's about 12, like Buffy.

" Holy… Red, you're… a kid!"

" Willow! Where've you been?" Buffy runs up, hugging her tightly. She ignores Faith. " I've been looking all over for you!" She flings an arm around her shoulders, and starts walking, as if leading her away. " Gosh, I thought you got lost or something. Dawn's been worried, too. Why'd you take so long?"

" Buffy?" Willow says, looking at her. " I don't belong here. I've never been here!"

" Don't be a silly, Willie, of course you belong here, " Buffy smiles brightly," You came along with when we came down to Solana beach with my dad. Don't tell me you forgot permanently bruising me on a totally intense game of license plates. Now, c'mon, we're just about to start on the sandcastle, and Dawn is totally being a brat about it, and I neeed you to help me get her under control cuz you know she'll start ratting out to him if she doesn't so get her way… and then it'll totally a dork-o trip," Buffy starts to trot, pulling on Willow's arm. " C'mon!"

" Faith, help…" Willow calls out as Buffy pulls her towards the beach.

" Hey…let her alone," Faith takes off after them. She grabs Willow and pulls her away from Buffy. " She doesn't want to go."

Buffy, red faced and angry, turns on Faith. Though she's even smaller, she starts pushing on the older, taller slayer. " You! You don't belong here! You're a bad girl!" She shoves against Faith with surprising strength. " Get out, get OUT OF HERE!" She shoves her hard…

And suddenly, Faith is being shoved into a cell. She looks around, and she's in Los Angeles… almost 5 years ago… when she gave herself up.

" What the hell…?" She sees Buffy and Angel above, arguing, away from her; and younger Buffy appears at the cell door.

" And stay there, bitch!" Young Buffy sticks out her tongue, and disappears.

_Crap, what the hell is going on here?_

She pulls out the amulet Willow gave her, and thinks about Willow. The door to her cell clangs shut….

And she's back at the beach, alone.

" Ok, now this is Twilight Zone stuff," Faith thinks, looking around. _Where the hell is Willow? I thought this was supposed to …_

" Help… Faith, please help, " Willow calls out to her.

" Red, where are you?" Faith looks around, not seeing Willow, young or older, anywhere.

" Here… down here, " Willow says.

Faith looks down, and almost bursts out laughing. Willow is buried up to her neck in the sand.

" What the heck happened to you?" Faith kneels down, starting to unbury her.

" Dawn and Buffy happened, " Willow says, peeved. " Their 'sandcastle' turned out to be a big hole they dug. They shoved me in, and buried me here." Faith can't get over twelve year old Willow's voice, which is even higher than her older voice, almost on the squeaky side." I'm so mad at them…"

I'm sure it was only a joke, Red," Faith digs, sand flying everywhere. " Don't have a Guernsey."

" They're always doing this, ganging up on me, shoving me around. Gosh, they're mean!" Willow pouts, " it was like that all the way down in the car. Her dad finally had to stop them from doing it."

" Willow… " Faith feels a small chill, " What're you talking about? We're here to rescue Buffy, remember?"

" Huh? What're you talking about? Rescue her? From what? Acne? She's starting to get pimples, and boy is she…" Willow blinks, then her eyes go wide. " Oh god, they're pulling me in, Faith. I'm beginning to get sucked into their … her… fantasy. Damn!"

Faith, having cleared the sand, offers her a hand. Willow grabs it, and Faith pulls her up.

" Gotta say, love the bathing suit, Red," Faith winks.

Willow looks down and groans. " Cripes, when did this happen?" She looks at herself critically. " Damn, wasn't bad enough. Now I'm flat as a board, and nothin' " She pouts.

" Aw, you're kinda cute, for a 12 year old," Faith chuckles.

" Funny, really funny, Faith, " Willow frowns. She looks around, and frowns deeper. " Oh, this isn't good."

" What?" Faith looks around, and gets disoriented.

They're back in Sunnydale, at the park. They're by the merry-go-round. Buffy, Dawn and her mom are riding it. They're the only riders.

" What the hell? Were did the beach go?" Faith says. She turns to Willow, who's now around 16 or so. " Well, you grew up a little."

" Aw, Gee," Willow says. " Still a teenager, for god's sake," She mourns. She looks at her dress. It's the exact jumper she wore the first day she met Buffy. " At least she could've let me wear something a little less geeky."

One of the riders dismounts from the carousel, and holding a pole, goes around once and leaps off… right next to Faith and Willow.

" Geeze, get killed much, B?" Faith says, backing up.

" What's wrong with you guys? Why can't you just leave me alone?" Buffy say, petulantly. " I'm happy here."

" Where's here?" Faith says, confused.

" Dawn's birthday. Her first in Sunnydale. Evidently, Joyce rented the carousel for an hour, so all her friends could ride on it. Problem, at least according to Dawn, was that she didn't have any friends at the time. She hadn't been here long enough to make friends. So she and her mom and Buffy rode the thing alone for an hour. To get her money's worth, " Willow shrugs.

" Why don't you guys go away? I'm fine here. I…" the scene shifts again. They're suddenly in a dark space, the only light pooling just around them. " I don't want to go back, don't you get it? I want to be here…" The lights come up, and they're in a long room, the walls covered by mirrors. Some are bright, some are dark. Buffy moves to a mirror, and looks in. " I don't belong out here anymore. She starts to move into a mirror, but Faith grabs her. " HEY!"

" Nuh-uh, " Faith says, pulling her back towards Willow. "we're not even started here yet."

" Hey, back off, Faith!" Buffy, at full strength, shoves her away, " I didn't ask you to be here. " She turns to Willow. " You either!"

" Yeah, I see that, Buffy," Willow says, " Yet, you keep changing me … to your age."

" I'm not doing that!" Buffy denies.

" It's your mind, Buffy," Willow declares, " you're in charge."

" I wish you hadn't said that…" Faith says, seeing the look on Buffy's face.

Suddenly, they're in Sunnydale again, in Willow's bedroom. Faith and Willow are naked, laying in her bed. They're back to their current ages, all of them. Buffy's at the window, looking in.

" Well then, both of you, stay right here. This is what you want anyway, isn't it Will? To have her all to yourself!"

Faith and Willow cover up quickly, looking at Buffy.

" You spied on us?" Willow says, flushing angrily, " you watched us? What's that about, Buffy? You a perv?"

Buffy comes into the room through the window.

" No, I didn't ' watch' you… I just… you didn't come home that night," Buffy seems to lose confidence, " And I went looking for you, and thought you might be here, and oh I was so right. You were in bed… with her!" Buffy points at Willow.

" It wasn't … geeze, Buffy, " Willow protests," You were always shoving us together. What did you expect to happen?"

" You knew. You knew how I felt about her, but you just had to have her, didn't you Will? Didn't you?"

" This was a test?" Faith puts in, getting angry. " Some kind of sick-o test? See what we'd do? Is that it?" She gets up, moving towards Buffy.

" NO!" Buffy cries, backing up. " I … " she looks around for an escape, " I didn't … think I was enough for you, " She gets on her knees. " I worshipped you, I wanted you to be happy, that's all."

"What about you, Buffy?" Faith comes to her. She's dressed again, " Don't you want to be happy?" She takes Buffy's hand. She pulls Buffy up, and the scene changes. They're in a mall, near the movie theater. Buffy's fighting Angel, the sprinklers are going off. Both are soaked. Buffy has a broken piece of wood she's using as a stake.

" C'mon, Buff. You can't even do it, can you? You can't kill me," Angel sneers at her.

Buffy walks over, and kicks him, in the place it hurts worse. His face goes slack, and he groans, falling to his knees.

" Not yet," She says, turning away. " Give me time."

"Yeah, time, " Buffy says, walking over to Faith. " That's what I needed, right? While my friends were terrorized… or died…"

They're at a graveyard. She's with Rupert Giles. They're both standing by the grave of Jenny Calendar. She looks at Faith.

" I did good, didn't I? Because I couldn't kill him back there, she had to die," Buffy points at the gravestone. " Jenny died because I didn't have it in me to kill him."

" Look at him, Faith, " She points at Giles. The scene's changed to the old factory. Giles is on his knees, brought there by Buffy as the building burns. She's hugging him, trying to give him some comfort. " I did really good, didn't I?"

The scene shifts, and its in the hospital. Willow is bandaged and bruised by the fight in the library. " She almost died, because of me…" The scene shifts, and Kendra lies , throat cut and lifeless on the library floor, " … and she did, again, because of me…"

" This is someone you want to save, Faith?" Buffy looks at her, the question written all over her face. "I was too worried about getting my boyfriend back. Isn't that what Xander said? Maybe it was true. Whatever it was, I couldn't do it . I didn't have the guts to do what needs to get done?"

" You forgot this one, B," Faith controls the scene, and they're in the Mansion on Crawford street. Angel is on his knees. He rises. They talk for awhile, and Buffy kisses him. Then she tells him to close his eyes. He does. She kisses him again, the runs him through with the sword… sending him to hell.

" Yeah, you fucked up. Bad, even. But in the end, Buffy, even though it cost you everything? You did the right thing… didn't you?" Faith sees her trying to turn away, and won't let her. " Look at it, Buffy. You did what you had to, even though it hurt."

" Why're you doing this?" Buffy turns on her, her hazel eyes frosty with cold anger. " What does that mean? I did what I had to? I ran away after that, letting my friends twist, because I couldn't deal. I tried to be nothing…"

Scene shifts to Buffy fighting the demons in the hell dimension. She's on the platform, fighting for her life and the others she's helping escape.

" Yeah, and look, even when you try, you can't be 'nothing' can you, B?"

" What the hell does it matter? What good did it do? I fought some demons. So what? Not like they're running out of them."

Scene shifts again, to Buffy's studio apartment in L.A. She's talking to a young blonde girl, showing her the apartment.

" hey," Lilly says, looking at the name tag on the uniform. " Can I be Anne?"

" You saved her, didn't you?"

Buffy walks out of the scene. " Yeah, so? Lilly? So what?"

" I guess you don't know. She stayed Anne. Made something of herself. Runs a Youth shelter downtown now, saving a whole lotta other kids. Wouldn't have happened, except she was saved by you. Wanted to do something, because of it… of course, what's one more youth shelter, huh?"

Buffy shakes her head, " doesn't mean a thing, Faith." She turns on her, anger showing clearly on her face. " Let's see something a little more recent, shall we?"

The scene shifts to a park setting. There are crowds everywhere, some kind of Festival is going on. Banners declare it " Multicultural day."

" No… Buffy… please… not here…" Willow backs up, her eyes going wide.

" Why not, Will? This is someone I didn't save, Faith!" Buffy turns on Faith.

A lone woman is sitting on a bench. She's joined by another woman… or a hell goddess disguised as a woman. She tries to get away, but the Goddess has her tight. She puts her hands to her head…

"Noooo… God, Buffy, " Willow turns away. The tears start rolling down her face.

" If I'm so fucking good, Faith, why didn't I figure it sooner? Why didn't I stop her sooner? Tara…" Buffy looks back at the scene. Willow is running to Tara, who is just sitting there, slack jawed."… might never have …." She trails off, hurt and anger raging in her. " … why didn't I save her?"

" Buffy?" Willow comes back, looking at Buffy. " You… it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself for what happened to Tara!" Willow goes to her. " How can you think that? I should've been with her that day, Buffy. If I'd been there…"

" What, Will? What would you have done? Be dead , or as good as dead, too? Have your brain sucked out too?" She grips Willow by the shoulders. "If I'd been stronger, or smarter, I would've figured it out sooner, Will. I would've stopped her sooner… it didn't…that…" she points at the scene, where Willow is crying, holding an unresponsive Tara tightly," … wouldn't have happened."

" Buffy, there was nothing…"

Willow is cut off when a voice, very loud, interrupts.

" Buffy! Where are you?" Dawn's voice seems to come from everywhere. " I'm lonely, Buffy. Come play with me, please!"

" Dawnie?" Buffy's voice is low, soft. " I'm coming honey." Buffy starts off in a direction. Faith grabs her.

" We're not done!"

" We are so done!" Buffy slams her fist into Faith's face. " God, just leave me alone!"

Faith reels back from the blow.

Willow holds up her hands. " Thicken" is all she says.

Buffy bounces off an invisible wall. She tries again, and bounces back again. She turns on Willow. " Stop it! STOP IT! Let me GO! JUST LET ME GO!" She turns, and runs at Willow, knocking her off her feet. " You've got what you want! You've got Faith. Take her and go! Let me alone! LET ME ALONE!"

Her hands close around Willow's throat. She starts to choke her.

" Buufffy… please… you're… hurting… me…" Willow gasps out, trying to break her grip.

Faith blindsides Buffy, knocking her off of Willow, and holding her down. " Stop it. You wanna fight, you fight me, Buffy. Leave her alone!"

" Sure, sure, go ahead, Faith. Save your whore, see if I give a fuck," Buffy spits at her.

Faith slaps her hard. Something seems to break in Buffy, and for the moment, she seems to be herself. She looks over at Willow, who's sitting up, rubbing her neck.

" Oh, god, I didn't … did I hurt her?" She looks at Faith.

" You ok, Red?"

" I'll live," Willow rasps out, " Be sore awhile. God, Why choke me, Buffy?" She gets up.

" Why won't you let me go?" Buffy asks, plaintively. " I don't want to hurt anyone. Just let me go."

" No, dammit. Not until I know why you're doing this to me!" Faith says. She gets up, hauling Buffy with her.

" Doing what to you? I'm not doing anything to you!" Buffy grumbles.

" You're breaking my heart, Buffy. Isn't that enough?" Faith looks at her. " What else do you want to do to me? Why not…"

The scene shifts. They're on the roof. Faith is at the edge, struggling with Buffy. Buffy's arm swings up, and then down, the knife sinking into Faith's gut.

" You did it," Faith looks at Buffy amazed and a little afraid. She grabs her gut where the knife wound is. She brings up her hand. It's covered in blood. " You killed me…" She teeters back towards the edge.

" Why?" She turns to Faith, who's still standing on the edge. " Why here?"

" Think what you're doing hurts any less, B?" Faith says, jumping down. She grabs Buffy by the shoulders. " Think it hurts less because the knife isn't visible this time?"

" Faith, baby, " Buffy breaks Faith's grip, taking her hands in her own. " I don't want to hurt you. That's not what this is about…"

" Well, it's hurting, Buffy, it's hurting real bad," Faith shakes her off. " you're throwing me away…for what? Think that doesn't hurt? I love you, Buffy, why're you throwing me away?"

Buffy looks at her strangely. The scene fades, and becomes dark. Willow joins them.

" Love me?" Buffy asks, her tone sepulchral. " How can you love me?"

The scene around them starts to resolve. It's Buffy and Spike, they're on his crypt. Both are naked, and Buffy is riding him like a stallion. Her hair is flying as her head moves side to side. Her face leans back, full of lust.

" Do it Spike, fuck me harder. God do it … fuck me…"

" That's all I am, a fucking whore. Look at me…" Buffy looks angry and revolted and strangely excited. " Even now, I can feel him in me…and I want it….look… take a good look…"

" Baby, you know what I want. Do it , Spike. Bite me… do it, I need it!"

Spike sneers, and his face vamps out. He leans over, and bites Buffy on the shoulder. She screams in ecstasy.

" Yes, GOD yes, Spike. Bite me! I love it god I love it!"

Looking closer, you can see Buffy's shoulders are covered by bite marks.

She wriggles on Spikes hips, driving him deeper as he sucks on her shoulder. Her head tosses back, and her eyes look dead and lust filled at the same time.

" Look at me, " Buffy says, her tone revolted and wistful. " I wanted it even then… I loved it, and I told him to do it. I invited him to do what he did to me. How…" She turns to Faith, as the scene fades, " how could you love that?"

Willow has gone white, her stomach churning. " you weren't you," She rasps, her throat sore, " you were grieving, Buff. We do weird things when we grieve…"

" Weird thing?" Buffy laughs, unpleasantly.

She starts showing memory after memory of sexual depravity she performed with Spike. Scenes of things he did to her, and things she did to him. Willow and Faith watch, disgusted and fascinated at the same time.

"That's what you love?" Buffy looks at Faith. She turns to Willow. " That's your friend, Will? Your best bud? That's what you love about me?"

" Buffy! Where are you, Buffy?" Dawn's voice booms through the scene.

" Dawn… I'm here… I'm here…"

The scene changes again. They're on a narrow platform, looking down from a high, crazily built tower in the middle of the commercial district of Sunnydale. Buffy moves into a position half way out on the tower. Dawn appears at the end of the platform. She's chained to it."

" I'm here Dawn, " Buffy says, moving to dawn to free her from the restraints. " It's ok. Everything's going to be ok now."

Buffy frees her, and starts to drag her towards Willow and Faith. Dawn stops them, halfway.

" No Buffy… I can't… I have to…" She starts to pull away from Buffy, going back towards the portal. " I have to jump, Buffy. That's the only way."

" No, Dawnie…" Buffy struggles with her.

" We know how that turned out, don't we?" A voice behind them makes Willow and Faith jump. Buffy, another Buffy is behind them. It's the Buffy from a week ago, dressed as she was in dark clothing and stocking cap. She looks out over the platform.

" This is it, guys, " Buffy says, quietly. " This is the night my sister died. For me."

" Buffy, that's ridiculous!" Willow cries, " You didn't kill Dawnie!"

" Oh?" The scene shifts. They're at a graveyard. Sunny Hills. They're standing by a grave marker. Dawn's name is on it. " Here she is, guys. My sister. My dead sister. My sister, who should've grown up, had kids. Been something. She was smart and funny, sweet and a pain in the ass. But she was real… and she died. For me. And for what?"

The scene shifts again. They're in an alley. A woman is being attacked by a vampire. Buffy runs up, and grabs the vampire. They fight briefly, and Buffy finally stakes it.

" Thank you, god, thank you, " The woman comes to Buffy, who has her back to her." He…he was going to kill me."

" Yup. Nasty thing. I really hate that," Buffy turns around. She's vamped out. " Hate when those blood brains try to steal my prey." She grabs the woman, and bites her, drinking from her. The woman screams, then swoons while Buffy continues to drink. She continues to drink while the woman becomes motionless. She raises up, her mouth, lips and chin covered in blood. She throws the corpse away. " Stupid cow. Though I was going to save her."

Buffy leaps on the wall, skittering away, laughing.

" Isn't she something guys? Really a special girl, don't you think?" Her voice is full of sarcasm. " Wouldn't you want _her_ as you're best friend?" She turns to Willow. " Oh, wait! Somebody did!"

The scene shifts to Willow's house, in the rear. Anya and Xander are talking in the yard.

" Oh god, no, " Willow goes white. She knows what's coming. " Not this…"

" Hi guys!" Buffy calls out from the rooftop. She jumps down on the lawn.

" Anya, run!" Xander tries to place himself between Anya and Buffy.

" Oh, give it up, Xander. You have the fighting skills of a 12 year old girl, " Buffy knocks him in the head, knocking him out. She turns to Anya. Anya is near the porch, when Buffy grabs her back, covering her mouth to keep her from crying out.

" Hey, Anya, how ya been?" Buffy says, pulling her back into the yard. She licks Anya's neck" Hmmm… tasty. There's a little something extra? Maybe, Xander jr.?" She narrows her eyes. " That should be special, you know? All those hormones running through your blood…"

Buffy goes flying when Xander hits her with the piece of scrap wood in laying near the house. She's up in a second, and on him in another.

" Well, maybe I underestimated you!" She grabs his head, and gives his neck a twist. A crackling sound is heard, and Xander falls dead to the ground.

" Oh, no you don't, Missy," Buffy says, grabbing Anya, who's been sneaking away." I didn't forget you, sweetie. You're gonna be a nummy treat."

Buffy tears her head back, exposing her neck. She vamps out, and sinks her teeth into Anya's neck. Anya's eyes go wide, then gradually the lids lower and shut as her life is drained from her body. Finally, she ceases moving, and breathing, lying limp in Buffy's arms.

Buffy licks her lips, and looks at Anya. " That was nice, babe. Real nice," Buffy holds her. " Hmmm… we gotta do something special with you two. Seeing how this is so special."

She carries Anya over to the porch swing, and puts her in it. She then grabs Xander, and after taking a taste, bring him and puts him by her. She hums a little tune as she poses the bodies together.

" Ahh… how sweet. I don't think Rodin could've done better," Buffy smiles at her creation. She walks out of the porch, and leaps on the roof, waiting for the fun to begin.

Buffy looks at the scene, then turns back to the others.

Willow is standing alone, arms crossed as if to protect herself. Her body is shaking.

Buffy looks at Faith. "There you go, Faith. That's what Dawnie died for. That…thing."

" That's just so you, Buff," A voice comes from behind her. She whirls around, and is confronted by dead Xander.

" Xander… " Buffy backs away, "god I'm so sorry…"

" Sorry Buff ? Sorry isn't going to un-break my neck, you know, " Xander frowns. He moves closer to her. " Not gonna bring Anya back, is it? Or the baby? You kinda ended that, that night."

Faith inserts herself between Xander and Buffy. " Xander, leave her alone…"

" Oh get real, Faith. Not going to touch her," Xander says, " Wouldn't if I could." He turns to Buffy. " Know what I really hate though, Buff? Never mind the killing of me and Anya, oh, and that little mocking love pose of us making out? Really tacky… but I really hate that you're still making everybody feel sorry for you. Feel bad for you. Well, boo hoo, Buff. At least, you're still alive. You still have a chance to live. You kinda did that in for me and Anya… thanks bunches," Xander smirks at her. " Thing is, lot's of people put everything on the line for you… so, really…tired of hearing this crap. Get real, ok?" He turns to Faith, who's still between them. " Down, Lassie. We're done now." Xander fades out.

" Oh, God, " Buffy starts to back away.

" Don't listen to that, Buffy. It's just your mind playing tricks," Willow says," It wasn't really real."

" Maybe not," Faith says," but you know? Has a point."

" W-Wha-at?" Buffy looks at Faith.

" He's right, even if it's only a figment, Buff. Why're we here, Buffy? Time and time again, you keep pushing us away. You don't want our help. You don't want to try. I think… you're too scared to try." She turns on Buffy. " I think it's easier to wallow."

" Faith, what're you doing?" Willow asks, not liking this. "We're here to help her… not criticize her."

" Really, Red? What the hell does it matter, if she doesn't want our help. I'm thinking, she doesn't." She moves in on Buffy. " So, what is it Buff? What're you hiding? What's your dirty little secret?" Hmmm?"

" Hiding? I'm not hiding anything," Buffy gets a little belligerent. " I've shown you everything."

" Really? That's weird," Faith says, " Thing is, Buffy I remember… she was a fighter. She'd get in your face if you crossed her. Only time I seem to remember her getting all hidey and secretive?" She turns to Willow. " You remember when?"

Willow starts to shake her head. " No, I don't… wait…" She turns to Buffy." I remember now. When Angel came back. And she didn't want anybody to know. She got all avoid-y and… she started disappearing, and lying to people where she was…" She looks at Faith." You're right. She's hiding something. What is it Buff?" She looks at Buffy. " What're you hiding?"

" Nothing. You two are nuts. I'm not …" the scene changes, and they're back on the tower again. " No… not here… not again…"

Buffy, at the time of Glory, and Dawn, reappear on the end of the platform.

" No, Dawn, I won't let you. You can't …" Buffy says, trying to hold onto her sister.

" Buffy, I've got to. It's the only way… It wants my blood."

_Blood. It's all about the blood. What did Spike say? Blood is the life… blood is the everything… My blood…it's the same as her blood. I could…_

Buffy looks down at the portal, and hesitates…

" NO!" Buffy, the Buffy with Faith and Willow, changes the scene. They're back at the graveside. She watches as another Buffy puts a rose on her grave.

" I promise, Dawn, " The other Buffy says, kneeling by the grave. " I'll make it right. You're death will mean something."

" Sure kept your promise, didn't you Buffy?" Dawn appears out of the mists around the grave." You sure made my death mean something, didn't you? Meant you could go whoring with Spike, didn't it? Or, you could let him catch you, and torture you, and turn you. Make you a monster.

The scene changes. They're back in the club. Buffy is naked except for a thong and a whip. On a table is her latest ' pet'. One of the vampires she sired. She's training it, with the help of her other pets.

But it's not in the playroom upstairs. It's downstairs, in the main club. The dance floor is being used like a stage, and Buffy is making Marie, her latest trainee, suffer. She's lashing her with a cat-o-nine tails while Zoë and Linda hold her.

She rears back her arm, and lets the whip fly. It hits Marie across the back, and she screams out.

" Who's your mistress, bitch?"

" You are."

LASH!

" Who?"

" You are, Buffy!"

The lash strikes twice again, drawing blood.

" WHO?"

" You are, Mistress Buffy!" Marie cries, cringing.

"Uh-huh," Dawn says, as the scene fades away. " Makes me proud, Buffy. Proud that I gave my life to save your miserable, worthless skin." Dawn comes to her, grabbing her. " You come with me now. You don't deserve to live. You can't EVER make it right."

" What is it, Buffy?" Faith asks." What happened on that Tower? Why're you so afraid of her?" She nods at Dawn. " What did you do?"

" I didn't… I …"

Dawn smiles an unnaturally wide smile. " My sister, Ladies and… oops… wait…" out of the mists, Xander and Anya appear. Both appear to have been dead for awhile. They move next to Dawn. " … Ladies and Gentleman," Dawn nods at Xander. " … Buffy, the Vampire Whore!" She raises Buffy's limp arm like she's announcing the winner in a boxing match.

" Buffy, look at me, " Faith goes to her. She cups Buffy's head in her hands. " Look at me, baby. What is it? What happened? Why're you letting her…" She nods a Dawn,"… do this to you."

" Shut up, Faith, you murdering bitch," Dawn says, sneering, " When we want the loser opinion, we'll call you, ok?" She shoves Faith away.

Willow comes up, and slaps Dawn, hard.

" Hey…" Dawn rubs her face with her free hand. " Why'd you do that?"

" Because, you're not Dawn. Let go of Buffy!"

" Well, look who's all Rambo," Dawn laughs, dropping Buffy's arm. " Don't worry, I'll be back. You know that, Buffy." Dawn smiles at her, and fades back in the mist.

" She's right, " Buffy says, her voice flat and dull, " I'm nothing but a whore, one way or another. And I can't make it right… ever…" she pulls away from Faith. " I don't deserve …" She goes to turn, but Faith, angry, shoves her.

" That's IT?" Faith feels her anger rising. " You're quitting? Just like that?" She turns to Willow. " Xander was right. All she wants to do is whine and moan about her 'fucked-up' life. God, what a waste of time." She turns back to Buffy. " You know, I'm really tired of wasting my time on you." She shoves her again. " What's your problem loser?" She shoves her again. "C'mon, do something besides stand there like a wet rag." She shoves her again.

" Faith, leave her alone," Willow says, grabbing Faith's arm. " She feels bad enough!"

" The hell she does, Red," Faith goes around behind Buffy. " She doesn't feel jack." She grabs Buffy's arms, and starts waving them around. " I'm Buffy, and I'm the Slayer, and I'm better than all you people cuz I never, ever make a mistake. No, not me, not Buffy" Faith says, mocking her voice, " I'm pure, and I'm clean, and when I take a poop, it smells like roses."

" Stop it, " Buffy says, quietly. " Leave me alone."

" Why, Buffy?" Faith asks, waving her arms. " I'm gonna kick your ass, " Faith says in her Buffy voice, " Cuz your mean!" Faith pushes her away, the kicks her… in the ass. " C'mon, Buffy, what's wrong?"

" Faith…" Willow's voice rises, reflecting her anger.

" Shut up, Red," Faith says, " Stay out of it."

" Leave me alone, Faith, " Buffy says, just a hint of irritation in her voice, " Go away."

" Why, you big worthless piece of crap?" Faith comes up to her, and shoves her from the back. Buffy stumbles forward, going to her knees. Faith gets down with her. " What's your problem, Buffy? Afraid everybody'll know what a fraud you are?"

" Leave me alone," Buffy's tone gets angrier. " I'm not a fraud."

" I'm so sorry, everybody, " Faith does her Buffy voice, " I was bad, but I'm good again. See? I'm so good, I'll run away and make everybody upset and miserable. But I don't care, because I'm Buffy. I only care about me!"

" Stop it, Faith," Willow comes over to Faith, shoving her. " Let her alone!"

" Go play with Dawn, Willow," Faith shoves her back, hard, knocking her off her feet and onto her butt. " c'mon you fraud," She goes around Buffy, and starts bitch slapping her face. " C'mon, Fess up. This is all just a big show, isn't it?"

The scene changes, and their back in the hall of mirrors. Faith grabs Buffy by the neck, and shoves her face close to a mirror." Look at yourself, Buffy. You're nothing but a fraud." She gets behind her. " You're milking this for all it's worth, cuz everybody should feel bad for ' poor Buffy!" Faith pulls her away, holding her up and staring into her eyes. " That's it, isn't it. You don't feel a goddamn thing. You're worse than the monster Buffy. You're so self centered, so selfish, you pretend to care…and you don't … do you?"

" I said, leave me alone!" Buffy slaps Faith. " you don't know jack about it."

" There's my girl, " Faith smirks, " So, not a dishrag after all. But, I'm still not convinced. I'm thinking, you're faking it." She shoves Buffy again. " I mean, why not. You got 'em wrapped, don't ya?" Faith shoves her again. " You kill Xander, and who's Willow defending? You. You're mom, Giles, everybody… they'll buy any crap you feed them. So, why not lie? Pretend you're feeling guilty? I know you, B. I know you, cuz I was you… I lied any chance I got to save my skin. Same for you. You can't face the heat, so you're makin' everybody but you get burned." She shoves her again. " Loser… coward… killer!"

" Shut up! Shut UP!" Buffy yells at her. She slugs her on the face. " I'm not… I didn't…"

The scene changes back to the tower. Again, they're at the back of the tower, watching Buffy and Dawn at the edge of the platform.

" We're here again, " Willow says, " You keep bringing us back here, Buffy. Why do we keep coming to this place? Where Glory killed Dawn? Why?"

" This is where it happened," Buffy says, the Buffy standing with them. " This is where I killed her." She turns to Faith. " I killed my sister right here…"

" That's …nuts, Buffy. You didn't kill Dawnie. She jumped…to close the portal."

Buffy looks at Willow sadly. " She didn't have to die." She walks out on the platform. The other Buffy, and Dawn freeze in position. " She didn't have to die, Will." She moves over to the other Buffy, and touches her. " Tell them"

_**" Blood. It's all about the blood. What did Spike say? Blood is the life… blood is the everything… My blood…it's the same as her blood. It doesn't have to be her blood. My blood would stop it…"**_

" She didn't have to die that night," Buffy repeats. The scene fades, and they're in the desert. It's night, and a large bonfire is burning.

The first slayer is on the other side of the fire from them.

" Whoa… who the hell is that?" Faith looks taken aback. " And someone? Call her a dentist, fast."

" It's the first slayer, Faith. The original slayer." Willow informs her. " Buffy went on … I don't know… a quest just before she tackled Glory. I think this is it."

Buffy addresses the First Slayer. " Tell them. Go ahead, tell them."

The first slayer weaves with the flames. " Death is your gift"

" Ok, huh?" Faith looks at Willow, who shrugs. " What does that mean?"

The first slayer repeats herself. " Death is your gift."

Then, the fire and the slayer fade away, and they're back on the platform.

" Death was my gift, " Buffy, both Buffy's repeat the first slayer's words. The other Buffy, the one with Dawn, turns towards her.

Buffy moves to Willow and Faith. " Don't you see? Don't you understand now? My blood would've closed the portal. If I'd jumped that night…" She turns back to the players at the end of the platform.

Unlike what really happened, Buffy runs and jumps into the energy. Dawn screams.

" NO… BUFFEEE … NOOOOOOO" She reaches out, trying to stop her sister. Too late.

" That's what should've happened that night, " The Buffy on the platform says. " I shouldn't have hesitated. I should've done it. It was my time. Death was my gift. Dawnie? Didn't have to die," She turns to Faith and Willow. " She would've lived. She would've grown up… she could've been someone, maybe who knows? Cured cancer. We'll never know… because that isn't what happens." Buffy waves for them to look again.

Buffy and Dawn are talking. Buffy is trying to pull Dawn away, but Dawn pushes her back. She falls down, and Dawn turns and leaps into the portal. Buffy is up in a second, but too late. She runs to the edge, and watches as Dawn is consumed by the energy.

She staggers back, and a loud keening wail is heard coming from her. She bends over, nearly falling off the platform herself, as her legs give out.

" NO! DAWNIE NO! DON'T … GOD … DAWNIE…. NOOO … NOOOOO …. NOOOOOOOO!"

The Buffy in front of them collapses into a ball, rocking back and forth. " Dawnie, no baby come back… you're not supposed to die… you're not supposed to die!"

The scene shifts suddenly. They're in a dark place, only one small light throwing a pool of light about them. Buffy stands facing them, the tears starting to flow.

" You see, she wasn't supposed to die then. " She looks up at Willow and Faith. " I was… but I was too scared. I hesitated. I… didn't give her my gift… my death, so she could live…"

The scene changes again.

They're back at the graveyard. Another Buffy is kneeling by the grave. She places a flower at the stone. " I promise, Dawn. I'll make it right. I'll make your death mean something."

" And how did I keep that promise?" Buffy stands before them, " I whored with Spike. I turned into a vampire, and killed hundreds of people," She looks at the two women in front of her. " I betrayed everyone I loved, when I was changed back. I betrayed you two… tried to make you monsters like me…" She turns, and kneels by the grave. " I betrayed her, just like everyone else." Her fist pounds the ground. " I know why you're here. You're going to try some platitudes on me, to keep me here…" She shakes her head. " But that's wrong. She shouldn't have died. She died, because I was a coward. It should've been me that night. Me, don't you get it?"

" Don't you remember?" She goes to Willow, taking her by the arms. " Death was my gift. That's what the spirit guide told me. Death was my gift. I know what it meant; I figured it out…."

The scene changes, to the tower platform again. It's empty now.

" … it meant I was supposed to die. She was supposed to live. To grow up, be something. Not like her sister. Not a whore and a monster. Something good. Something wonderful. I knew it was my time…and I got scared. I looked, and I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready. I knew I was supposed to, it was my destiny. And I turned my back on it. I hesitated, and that's all it took. The pendulum swung, and it pointed to her… and she didn't hesitate. She was the brave one. She did what she was called to do… "

Buffy goes down on her knees, facing the end of the platform. Her body starts to shake. " … she died… so I might go on…" She looks around, her eyes shiny, her cheeks wet with tears." … me, who was afraid to live… who walked around dead, fucking the dead… she died so I could…exist… because I was too scared…" Buffy starts to crawl along the platform, oblivious to the other two with her. " I'm not too scared now Dawnie. Let me die now, please…so I can make it right… please…."

" Buffy, no!" Faith runs after her… and they're back in the cemetery. Buffy is leaning against the headstone, hugging it. " Please, Dawn… I'm sorry, but I'll make it right! I'll make it right!"

" Buffy," Willow says, reaching for her.

Buffy erupts from the gravestone, shoving Willow down. She turns, and leaps on Faith, knocking her back.

" Why? Why won't you let me make it right?" She starts punching on Faith, " Why won't you let me alone? I have to die! I have to DIE!" She keeps punching Faith. Faith doesn't fight back, she just covers her head. Buffy keeps pounding on her, punching her, " Why can't you let me be brave, this once? Let me die… just let me die… god, please…." She runs out of steam, her punches becoming weaker, missing their mark, she starts to cry harder. " I've got to die. I've got to… to make it right…" She looks down at Faith. " I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" She crawls off Faith, and towards the grave. " I'm weak… I'm so fucking weak…" She lowers herself onto the grave, laying there, sobbing. " I don't want to hurt you, I love you both. I'm just so weak…"She sniffles, and looks at them. " Please, just this once… let me be strong…"

Faith sits up, a little battered from Buffy's blows. She pushes up, and walks over to Buffy, kneeling by her.

" Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together."

She leans over Buffy." Remember those words, Buffy? You said them to Angel…when he wanted to die. Because he felt it was too hard to live. Remember that?" She puts her hands on Buffy, "He told me those words, when it was too hard for me. When I wanted to kill myself in Prison, because I couldn't deal with my monsters. He told me what you did for him. "

She lies down next to Buffy, looking into her face. " I don't have any platitudes for you Buff. I don't have fancy words. I just know I need you… we need you Buffy."

Willow comes over, and crawls next to Buffy. She lays beside her on the other side. " You said ' Death is your gift.' You said the spirit guide told you that."

" Yeah, " Buffy sobs, " and look at what I did! I let her die, instead of me…"

" Buffy, no, you got it wrong. Her death was your gift. To her," Willow says gently." Dawn didn't belong here…she wasn't part of this reality. The monks made her from you, and she knew that when her time came, she had to give it back. She did. She knew you belonged here. You had things to do yet," Willow moves closer.

The scene changes, and their in an empty place. It's dark except for a light immediately around the three of them.

" She died so you could live, yes. But she also died, to save the world. You gave her the greatest gift of all, Buffy. You let her existence mean something. She wasn't meant to be human; that wasn't what she was created for. By letting her die, to save us, she will always be alive, Buffy. She'll always be special. Because you let her be special. You gave her the moment, and she took it, and ran with it." Willow rubs her back.

Buffy lies there, her tears running down her cheeks. " it's so hard…"

" Like you said, Buffy. It's hard," Faith says. She moves closer to Buffy. " But you gotta do it. If you die, who remembers, Buffy? Who remembers what Dawn did? Who can feel it like you do? Who can tell it like you can?" Faith looks into her eyes. " Believe me, Buff. I know it's hard. Every minute hurts, when you think of the crap you did. You hate it, and a lot of times, yourself… but you gotta just fight. Like you said. Fight to make yourself worth saving. Fight to make each moment count. So you can be witness to your sister's courage. She needs ya to be brave, Buff. You gotta keep fighting."

" We need you, Buffy," Willow says softly. " We love you, and we need you here, with us. Please stay with us. Don't go, please."

" I don't want to die," Buffy says, almost inaudibly. " I don't want to die," louder this time. " I thought… the only way I could make it right…was to die…but I don't want to die… I'm so scared… I don't know if I can do it… it's so hard…"

The scene changes again. They're back on the shore where it all began. Buffy , Faith and Willow are all sitting on the sand. Dawn runs up to them. She grabs Buffy's hand.

" C'mon, Buffy. We're late. Dad's gonna have a fit." She looks at the others, then at Buffy. " You're all grown up, Buffy." She looks at Buffy, and she frowns. " don't you want to play no more?"

Buffy opens her arms, and the younger girl slips into them. She hugs Dawn tightly, holding her close.

" I love you, Dawnie. I always will honey." She kisses her cheek. " but I gotta go now. I got to make things right, like I promised."

Dawn looks at her, with a slightly disgusted expression. " God, Buffy. You're talking all weird. Just like mom!"

Her face falls, and she starts to back up. " I guess, you're not gonna come play with me then, huh?"

" Not now honey. But I will again sometime. I promise, " Buffy smiles at her.

" 'K," Dawn says, turning around. She starts to run off, then stops. She calls out. " I love you too, Buffy!" She waves, and turning, runs off.

As she runs, her body changes. She's surrounded by a green glow. It seems to consume her, and all that's left is the glow… it grows, getting larger, and larger, until the whole scene is covered by it…

Suddenly, Willow and Faith are sitting in their chairs, hands clasped together. They're back in the hospital room again. They start, then turn and look at each other.

They look at Buffy, and tears are rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes open, and she looks at them.

" I'm so scared," She says hoarsely, the tube down her throat making her dry and sore, " Help me? Please?"

They go to her, each taking a hand.

" We're right here, Buffy, Willow says softly. " We won't leave you."

" We're here, Buff. We're here."

To be continued.


	22. Chapter 21

Mirror

By Norwalker

Part 21

Disclaimer: The characters appearing on the show " Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel" TV Shows belong to Joss. That's right. Joss. And Mutant Enemy, Inc. And don't forget Fox( yeah, as if we could.)

Original Characters and the story belong to the author. And _this isn't real life_, so if you think I'm writing about you? Just a coincidence. Really. I don't know you. Really. I know you _think_ I know you, but I don't. We never met. Ok?

Really. We never met. I promise. It didn't happen.

We never met. Get over it. Please.

Thank you.

1

" Hey Faith, Mrs. Weiss wanted to know if you… " Buffy's words trail off when she opens the door and sees Faith packing her duffle bag.

" Buffy, " Faith looks up, and walks over to Buffy. " hey."

" What's going on?" Buffy's gaze is locked on the bag." What're you doing?"

" Buffy, I gotta get back to Akron. I was only supposed to be here a week, and It's been nearly two months now. I've got to get back to work…"

" You're leaving?" Buffy moves into the room, and looks into the bag. " Were you planning on telling us ? Or just going to sneak away?"

" I was gonna tell you," Faith says, a little defensively, " I wasn't just going to up and disappear like…" She bites her words off.

" Like I do? Was that what you were going to say?" Buffy says, " So, it was gonna be " Goodbye, seeya?" and then you're gone?" Buffy sits on the bed, next to the bag. " What happened to ' We're here for you, Buffy' ? Or, was there an expiration date on that?"

" Buffy, I'm only gonna be in Akron. It's like 10 miles away. If you need me, I can be here in an hour or so…"

" What if I need you at 4 a.m.? What if I need to be held? What if I need to snuggle up to you, to feel real!0 miles might as well be a million miles, if you're not here… " Buffy stands up, walking over to the window. " Why? Why now? I don't get it, Faith. Why're you leaving now?"

" Because it's time, Buffy. You're better, you're doing good, now I've gotta go back and be the slayer again. I'm sorry, but you know I have to," Faith says, lying through her teeth, " don't make this harder than it is…"

" Hey, what's going on? Gram is… HEY! What's going on!" Willow, at the door, sees the duffel bag.

" She's leaving, " Buffy says, glumly.

" Leaving?" She goes to Faith, her face losing color, " What's this about? I thought we talked about this, Why're you leaving now?" She sits down next to the bag. " What about Buffy? She needs you here!" She nods at Buffy.

" Yeah, what about… wait, you talked about this? When? Why wasn't I clued in? "

" While you were in the coma, Buffy, " Willow says, " I thought…"

" Things haven't changed, Willow. It's still not going to work."

" What? Ok, I'm lost. I don't have the souvenir program. I don't know what's going on. Someone want to let me in on it?" Buffy turns to Faith. " What did you talk about? What hasn't changed? What's not going to work?"

Faith doesn't respond.

" Ok, nothing there, next witness," Buffy walks over to Willow. " What's the what, Will? What don't I know? What's she talking about?"

Willow looks at Buffy, seems as if she's going to speak, then stops. She looks at Faith. Faith looks at her. Both look away.

None of this is lost on Buffy. She backs up towards the window.

" Oh. I get it. This isn't about you and me, " She addresses Faith, " this is about you and her." She points at Willow.

Willow, angry that Faith is still leaving, despite Buffy being back, stares at Faith.

" Well, Faith, you wanna get that one?" She says, her tone a little on the sarcastic side.

Faith isn't exactly loving being put on the spot.

" Well, not just about me and Red, Buffy, " Faith says," or me and you, or you and Red, I guess. It's kinda all of it, mixed together."

" Oh… ok, It's so much clearer now," Buffy says, fully sarcastic. " What's that crap supposed to mean?"

" It means…" Faith begins

" It means, Faith can't choose, Buffy," Willow cuts in. Her tone is softer, more sympathetic. " She loves us both…"

" Oh, well, glad we finally got that one out in the open, then," Buffy says, " way you two been acting, like nothing happened between you…" she makes an impatient noise, " … don't look so surprised. I'd have to be blind not to see the way you two look at each other when you think I don't see." She sighs, and walks over to the bed, sitting down. " I'm not angry about it. What right would I have? I caused it, pretty much, didn't I?" Buffy leans her face on her hands. " pretty much, I've fucked up everything, haven't I?"

" Buffy, don't say that. This isn't your fault…" Willow turns to her, " it didn't have to…"

" Oh, c'mon Will, Of course it's my fault," Buffy says. She catches both their glances. " No, I'm not slipping back into … look, I get it … I didn't kill Dawn. Ok, I get that. I got that. But this… _is_ my fault. I pushed you two together. I encouraged you to be together, all for my own selfish reasons. And I got …ok, still get to a degree… jealous of you when you're together. You can't lessen my guilt on this one, guys. "

" Buffy, doesn't matter how it happened. It happened," Faith says," Thing is, I love you both. I shouldn't feel that way, but I do. As you'd say, Buffy. It's just wrong. And, even _if_ I could chose between you, what happens? The other's left out, hurt. That hurts me, because I'm hurting one of you. That hurts both of you, because you lose this fantastic friendship you've got. Only way I see to fix it? Get out. I go, you guys are still good, and well… eventually, we all manage to find someone else…"

For what seems like hours, but is really only seconds, silence descends on the three. Then Buffy makes a rude noise.

" You buying that crap Will?" Buffy turns to the redhead.

Willow makes a small shrug as if to say ' what choice have I got?'.

Buffy turns back to Faith. " Naw, I don't believe it at all. Oh, the loving both of us? Yeah, Ok, I'll buy that one." She stands up and walks over to Faith. She cups her face in her hands. " I can feel you love me, and I know you love Will. So, I'll buy loving the both of us. But the rest?" Buffy shakes her head. " No. Can't choose? Life's all about choices. The ones we make, the ones we don't make. But that's the deal, Faith. You gotta choose." Buffy moves back to the bed, sitting next to Willow. " So, here's the deal. We both love you back. Choose one."

" Geeze, what the hell are you playing at here, Buffy? You're guys aren't like competing brands of beer or something. I can't just choose one, and forget the other. It's not like that. No matter who I choose, everybody gets hurt. I figure it's better I just don't come between you two. You guys got somethin' special, and I'm not breaking that up."

" Not come between us? Way too late for that, Faith. You think if you just ' walk away' , it's not gonna affect us?" She turns to Willow again, " Did she give you the same speech?"

Willow nods.

" Thought so," Buffy turns back to Faith. " If you walk out on us now, how you think we're gonna feel? ' Oh, well, she's gone. Well, at least we still got each other.' Umm… sorry, but WRONG! We'll both be blaming ourselves, and probably each other, for this. Your not choosing isn't going to change that, girlfriend. All that'll do is tell us is that we weren't good enough for you to make a choice. Oh yeah, that's gonna really make the bond between us strong." She drapes an arm over Willow's shoulders. " Sorry, Faith. No clean getaway. Choose one of us."

" I can't… " Faith feels trapped. _Shit, what the hell is she doing?_ " I'm sorry, I just…can't."

" Fine, " Buffy says," Then I'll choose for ya. Let's see, what'll be fair?" She thinks a second. " Ok, got it… Eeny meanie miney moe…Oh, screw that. I choose…." She pauses, " Willow."

" What?"

" What?"

Buffy gets up, and shakes her head. " Face it, Faith, that's what the what is. If you really were into me, it wouldn't be a hard choice. It's hard, because you two…" she sighs, "… look, Faith, what did we have together, really? A couple of nights together, maybe. And hey, I was crazy then, right? You've got some history with Willow. I mean, I was gone what? A year from SunnyD? More? Geeze, and even if you waited 6 months, that still lots longer than you and I had. You two… just got the idea what you did was wrong. I can't see it that way, not since I was like…encouraging it… oh, what the hell am I justifying it for? I lost for Christ's sake. Not my job to justify it, just accept it. So, I'm out."

" Buffy, nooo…" Willow says, getting up, " You and Faith… you…"

" This is nuts, Buffy. I'm not letting you choose for me…"

" Too late. I gave you a chance… two chances, Faith. And you didn't. So I did." Buffy turns to Willow. " Will, don't be an idiot. It's written all over your face what you feel. God, " She hugs her, " Just be a gracious winner, ok? Don't make me go on and on about this…"

Buffy walks to the door. " I'm going home. Back to SunnyD. I figure, I still got stuff I gotta do there. Things to fix, bridges to un-burn. So ummm… that's what I'm gonna do. Try to get my life back on track or somethin'. Ok, shit, I'm outta brave, I gotta go now," Buffy turns and walks out the door.

Willow is up and out the door, running after her. Buffy turns around.

" No, don't" She puts up a hand. " Don't try to ' fix' it, Will. And don't put up some magic barrier. This isn't fixable. Not that way. I don't hate you, I don't hate her, but right now? I'm real short on gracious. So just leave me the fuck alone!"

" Buffy, please, " Willow cries out to her, " I don't want it like this!"

" Yeah, well… we don't always get what we want, do we, Will?"

Buffy turns, and walks away.

2

Buffy sighs heavily, and starts dressing for work. She looks in the mirror on her vanity in her bedroom and leans in. " Well, happy now, Buff?" She asks herself. The mirror doesn't reply. _Well, you're no help!_

_This getting life back on track? Not going so well._ Buffy leans in, applying lipstick. _Thought I'd come back here, try to forget them. Everything. Just throw myself into it, get a new life. Ha. Doesn't work that way, does it?_

Buffy's been back in Sunnydale for 6 months, and it doesn't seem anything's really getting easier. One day follows on another which follows another, and she gets through it. But it's like swimming through molasses in winter; it's all slow, tedious, and really takes an effort to keep moving forward.

There have been some bright spots. The Dawn Summers Foundation, for one.

Buffy discovered on her return that she had been smart enough to insure the club to the max. She found out that she had a lot of money waiting for her . A lot of money. Like, a lot a lot. Over a million dollars. The Insurance company tried to wiggle out of the claim, saying it was an ' arson' fire, and suspicious in origin. But for once, the Council, being pushed by a certain British shopkeeper who will remain nameless but has a penchant for tweed, actually leaned on the insurance company and got her claim paid in full. With the double indemnity clause being honored, to boot.

Buffy couldn't keep the money. Her conscience, how she came by it, just wouldn't let her. So, after giving her mom some, she used the rest to set up The Dawn Summer's Foundation. It's a foundation to promote young women in the sciences, giving out scholarships and grants to deserving and needy students. Dawn had always been good in science, and Buffy felt this was a way to honor her sister. It gave her a major happy that she could finally do something to earn what she felt was Dawn's sacrifice for her.

Also, she found out that Giles and Joyce had grown … closer. A lot closer. _Well, ok, not really sure how that's going down quite yet, but I can't remember when either of them have been happier. And hey, they're adults. Just as long as I don't get psychic again and see into their minds about the sex part. Ewww._ Secretly, however, she really was pleased. Both had been alone a long time, and she loved them both. _Kinda nice when the oldsters find somebody, you know? Just, god, don't ever let me walk in on them accidentally when they're like… ok, double ewww._

Giles and her mom getting together actually brought about another decision.

" Buffy, honey, I don't get it. There's no reason for you to leave," Joyce says at the dining room table the evening Buffy told her about her decision. " There's lots of room here."

" Mom, I'm pushing 25 years old, you know? … and still living at home. If I don't move soon, I'm going to be taking in stray cats and Oprah's going to be the center of my universe. It's time I'm on my own… without running away and begging on the streets."

" What about school? I thought you wanted to go back to school. That'll be hard to do while working and paying for an apartment…"

" I'm still planning on school, mom. But right now? Brain…" She points at her head,"… really full of rust. Not in school mode. Not going back to UC Sunnydale… not right away, anyway. Figured I'd try some night classes at the community college first. Kinda put my toe in the water before just jumping in again."

" I guess that's smart," Joyce admits," But I still don't see why you can't do that while living here. I like having you around, honey. This house gets kind of lonely with only me in it…"

" Mom, isn't it time you came out of the closet?"

" What? What're you talking about? I'm not gay…"

Buffy laughs.

" No, I mean about Giles, mom. You think I don't know about you and him?" Buffy gives her an amused look.

" I don't know what you mean, " Joyce tries the denial route.

" Oh, c'mon, mom. Since when have you been interested in the supernatural?"

" Oh, since my daughter's been all tied up in it for … god, going on 10 years now…"

" Uhhh… ok, but you've never been one to like visit magic shops before…until rather recently. I notice you hang out there, a lot, when you're not working. "

" Well, I've found I like talking to Rupert… Mr. Giles… he can be…"

" MOM! Not dumb, ok? I mean, you think I don't know where you're going on those mysterious overnight buying trips? Please! You're not even that clever about it. I mean, really. If you didn't want me to have a clue, it might be smart _not_ to park your car on the street near his place. You know?"

Joyce goes a little pink in the cheeks." Buffy, really, it's …"

Buffy throws her hands up in mock horror. " Mom, please, DON'T go into it. I don't want even the barest details, ok?"

" Buffy?" Joyce gets a wicked grin.

" What?"

" SEX! Sex, sex, sex!"

Buffy rolls her eyes. " Oh god, well, thanks for ruining dinner, mom" Buffy laughs. Then she gets serious. " So, is it like, serious?"

" I don't know, Buffy," Joyce looks a little uncomfortable. " Really haven't thought of it that way. I mean, I like being with Rupert, and he's really a lot more fun once you get past the stuffiness. Now, if I can only get him out of tweed and into something a little less… formal sometimes…"

" Oh god, it's serious. She wants to dress him now. It's definitely going in the serious direction," Buffy teases her. " Well, just don't forget my invitation to the wedding, ok?"

" Buffy!" Joyce frowns." We have even thought about that kind of step…" But there's a little glint in Joyce's eye.

" Uh-huh." Buffy says, nodding." Sure."

" But anyway, that still doesn't mean you have to move out…"

"Mom? Love you, but not planning on learning to sleep with earplugs, you know?" She smiles at Joyce, " anyway, you should have some privacy here… and it's got to be more comfy being here… than there. Been to Giles' apartment. It's ok, but not all that roomy…" She catches Joyce's look. " No, not in THERE. I haven't been in THERE! Geeze, gross mom!"

" Right. Mom and sex, gross. " Joyce nods." Guess I didn't think of the noise. Been a little deaf ever since I had to turn up the TV to drown out certain noises I wasn't wanting to listen to…"

" When did that happen…?" Buffy trails off… then gets it. And goes red." Geeze, mom…"

Joyce smirks. Then her smirk fades, and she sighs." Ok, Buffy. I get it. You need ' your space'. I just hope you don't forget all about your dear old mom and become one of those daughters who never call, never write…"

"Nice try with the guilt card, mom, " Buffy grins, " Might work better if I were moving out of Sunnydale." She arches a brow, " Anyway, I'm going to cadge as many meals as I can from you, you know. I mean, I learned that while panhandling. Never turn down a free meal."

" Just thank goodness it was Mrs. Weiss doing the offering, " Joyce says, " God, Buffy. How could you do that? Not exactly the proudest moment of my momhood realizing my daughter's on the street, begging change from people."

" It was a bad time, mom, and I was in a bad place. That's over, ok?"

" I hope so, Buffy, " Joyce says, " I'm not sure I can take many more of these adventures of yours…"

" I'm sorry, mom," Buffy comes over and hugs her.

" I know, dear." Joyce says," Just do me a favor. If you must run away from home again, just tell me first, ok? Let me know where you are? That way, I won't worry quite so much."

" You're the best mom, you know that?" Buffy hugs her again, and kisses her cheek.

" You just figuring that out?"

Things otherwise weren't going so great, however. She did have a job, as a receptionist at a small local firm. Not great pay, most of the people were ok, if a bit stand offish. The worst were some of the guys, who figured her shoulders and/or ass were new forms of hand rests. Buffy just smiled, and removed the offending hand off herself, and if they guy didn't get the hint? She used her slayer experience to make it very uncomfortable to do it again. Nothing overt, just a night little pinch to the wrist nerves usually got the message home.

Her apartment was small… but it did its job. Provided a place to eat and sleep. And hide from the world when she needed it. She grabbed some unused furniture from her mom's to furnish it, and basically it was homey, if lacking in personality. There wasn't much in it to say it was ' her place' except for the bed and vanity, which she snagged from home.

Then there was school. Sunnydale community college. Not high school, not college. It was just… there. She enrolled in a couple of classes, but she found that her brain rust was deeper than she thought. Buffy wasn't dumb, just that her mind wasn't in learn/ study mode. Took awhile to get the swing of it, and even then, the motivation to actually get to it was weak at best. The worst part though was when she couldn't figure something out, or needed a push to study, there was no Willow there to help her. _Damn, just one more reason to miss her._

That was the worst part of everything. No Willow, no Faith. _Burned that bridge pretty good, Buff. Burned? I'd say burned, then dynamited, and for giggles? Stomped on the rubble after._ She missed Willow in about a million and one ways, and she just missed Faith, period. All the time. _The big sucky._

Of course, everywhere in Sunnydale she went, she was reminded of Willow, or Faith, or both. So letting go of them was made about 1000 times harder. _Well, what did you expect, anyway? You'd just forget everything? You chose this, moron, so don't go crying about it now._

That worked most of the time. Except late at night, when she felt particularly lonely. Then pretty much nothing worked.

_So, this is normal life huh? Highly overrated. Should come with a warning label. _

_" Danger. Excessive normality? Sucks!"_

3

" Faith! Watch out, there' s another one coming up behind you!" Helen shouts out, " Oh, for goodness sakes!" She mutters, when Faith seems to ignore her.

She grabs the crossbow she's been keeping at the ready lately, and raises it to dust the other vampire sneaking up on Faith. At that moment, Faith jumps off the vampire she's been using as a punching bag, and swings around, stake in hand, dusting the upcoming vampire. Once that's done, she returns to her recreational drubbing of the first vamp.

Helen feels a strong pair of hands lift her off the bench she's been sitting on, and she feels the cold embrace of the vampire that snuck up behind her. She struggles against him, but he has her firm in his grip.

" FAITH! A LITTLE HELP HERE, IF YOU WILL!" Helen shouts out, as the vampire leans in for the bite.

Faith looks up, and rolling her eyes, stakes the vampire she's been beating on. She rushes over, and grabs the vampire clutching Helen, pushing him back and away. They fight briefly, kicks and punches, a few tosses around until Faith finally brings up her stake, dusting him.

Helen, shaken by nearly being a meal, stands by the bench, flustered and wound tight. She looks down at her notepad, trying to bring her heart and adrenaline back under control.

" You ok?" Faith asks, coming up behind her. Helen nearly jumps.

" I'd be better," Helen says, straightening her clothing to hide her shaking, " If you were doing your job properly."

" Hey, I'm getting it done," Faith protests. " Sorry if it isn't exactly a by the book slaying, but … vamp's still dead."

" Yes, and so nearly was I" Helen says, irritation showing in her voice. " You seemed obsessed with turning that one vampire you attacked initially into a bloody pulp, rather than staking it and moving on. That second vampire might have gotten you, if I hadn't warned you. And the third very well might have gotten me. This is absolutely unacceptable."

" Hey look, you Rex Reed wanna be, " Faith says, her own irritation rising, " I didn't ask you to come along on my patrols. That was _your _ idea, remember? If you're not comfortable coming, then stay home. Ok?" Faith turns, starting to walk off.

" Stop right there, Faith, " Helen says. She takes off running when Faith seems to ignore her. She gets in front of Faith, and plants herself. " I said, stop!"

" Hey, Helen. If you hadn't noticed? Not wearing a dog collar. I'm not Lassie, and I don't stop on command," Faith says, starting to go around her.

Helen puts out her foot, and Faith, not paying attention, trips over it.

"HEY!" Faith growls from the ground.

" I asked you to stop, and you ignored me, " Helen explains as she kneels down by Faith." I had something to say, and I'm your Watcher, Faith, like it or don't." Faith starts to get up, but Helen puts a restraining hand on her shoulder. " Stay. We're not finished here."

Faith shakes off her hand. She gets up, and Helen grabs her by the arm. " I said, we're not finished here," Helen insists.

" Get your hand off me," Faith mutters softly, her voice edgy.

" Not until I've had my say, " Helen insists.

" Really _not _ interested in what you've got to say, Hell," Faith uses the nickname she knows Helen hates, to irritate her, " I'm doing a job. That doesn't include babysitting watchers." She shakes off Helen's hand, and starts to walk away.

Helen, frustrated , shaken, and angry, hits her upside the head with her notebook. Faith whirls around, face angry and flushed.

_Oh, so very brilliant, Helen. Now you've pissed her off._ Helen starts to backpedal, to get away from the angry Faith.

Faith grabs her notebook, tears out some pages, and tosses it away. She tears the sheets to bits. She then tosses the bits into Helen's face. " I told you, I've got stuff to do. Quit bugging me."

" What is wrong with you?" Helen says, walking after Faith, who once again has started to leave. " you've been… bizarre since you returned from Kent. At first, I thought it was the stress of your friend being injured. But I'm beginning to wonder exactly what's eating at you. You're performance is abysmal. You get worse and worse, despite my notes and attempts to help you. Any suggestion is greeted by churlish remarks or worse, complete indifference. It's almost as if you're trying to get yourself killed. You slaying has gone from indifferent to downright sloppy. I can't have this. Unless you can explain you're behavior, I'll have no choice but to report my findings to the council. I can't just let this slide."

" You know what? Go tell the council. Do whatever you gotta do. I am. I'm doing my job. You don't like that? Tough. You don't like the way I do it? Tough. Frankly, not gonna lose any sleep over it." Faith shoves her away, and stalks off. " Who the crap gives a shit, anyway?"

Helen sighs, and decides to try another tack. " Faith please, I don't want to tell the council. I'm just worried about you. You're mind isn't on your slaying," She says, trotting along side Faith, " I want to be your partner here, Faith. I want to help if I can, if you'll only let me." Faith keeps moving, not talking. " Is it your friend? Is she still ill? Are you worried about her? Come on, Faith, please. Talk to me. Don't shut me out."

Faith stops so quickly, that Helen overshoots her. She turns around, and notices the change in Faith. She's no longer angry, she just looks sad… and a little lost.

" Is that it, Faith? You're friend? You're worried about her?"

" I'm sorry about earlier, ok?" Faith says, letting out a tired sigh. " I'll try… no, I'll do better. But frankly, I don't feel like ' talking about it'. I don't do that touchy-feely share your feelings crap, ok? So, just let it drop."

Helen, if she only looked at Faith's face, might believe her. But she takes in all of Faith's body, and notices her hands shaking. Instinctively, she grabs Faith's hands, and holds them firmly.

" Faith, let me help you, all right? You can tell me what it is, " Helen looks into her eyes, " You can trust me. I won't tell anyone else. I care about you, Faith. And not just as a watcher. I'd like to be your friend, if you let me. Sometimes it just helps to say it out loud. Did something happen to your friend? Something else? Do you need to go see her? I can cover for you, if you…"

" Don't you listen at all?" Faith says, shaking off Helen," God, I told you, I don't do that…" but something inside breaks, and her emotions well up, betraying her. She turns, trying to hide the tears coming to her eyes. " Just go, ok?" She says quietly, trying to hold it in. " I just need to… go now." Faith starts to walk off hurriedly.

Helen, however, intuits she needs to talk, and follows her after.

" Faith, wait," She says softly, putting a hand on the slayer' shoulder. " Just talk to me. It's ok."

Faith doesn't shrug her off. She just stands there, seeming to hold herself remote from her. She doesn't speak, only looks away. Then she turns, and Helen can see the tears leaking down her cheeks. Faith is biting her lip not to let out a sob.

Helen just gathers her in her arms, and holds Faith as the dam breaks. She gather's Faith closer, and strokes her hair.

" I think we've had enough patrolling for this evening," Helen says softly. " I suspect you could use a drink."

An hour later finds them in some small bar, sharing a table. A few empty beer bottles are scattered about on it, and both are tossing back another longneck. Helen has a sympathetic look on her face as she listens to Faith pour out her heart.

"… god, I don't know what those two have done to me. I never used to be this much of a wuss. Shit, throw a big old demon at me, and baby, I'm prime. I'm ready for a good fight. But those two? Shit, they don't play fair, and they scare the shit outta me… what they do to me, how they make me feel. God, two little women bring me to my fucking knees. I'm such a wuss." She looks up into Helen's blue eyes. " I'm totally fucked, aren't I?"

Helen looks at Faith. She's beginning to feel the effects of the three beers she's had, but no where nearly as strongly as Faith." Well Faith, you've certainly gotten yourself into a sodding mess, I've got to say, " Helen looks at her sympathetically. " Frankly? I don't think this ' walking away and forgetting them' scenario's working too well. Seems to me you're actin' like a bloody arse over them. And it's really screwing up you're slaying, " Helen belches a little, and colors, " ' cuse me. Guess the beer's getting to me."

" Three beers and you're blotto, Hell? Geeze, you're a cheap date, " Faith chuckles. " Shit, I think you're right… I do feel a little better saying it… though frankly, it's still the shits, you know? You know somethin?"

" What?" Helen takes another swallow of beer.

" I'm thinkin' this love crap is way overrated. Who needs this heartache and angsty crapolla? Can't tell me this is good for me. I say fuck it. Kill the little guy with the wings and bow, and hey, just forget the whole damn thing." Faith looks at her beer. " Empty. Screw it. " She pushes it with the others. " This sucks, you know?"

" I guess," Helen says, " never been there, myself."

" Huh? What? No like boyfriends, no nothing?"

" Hey, I've been busy. No time for … relationships, you know? I've been working my arse off just makin' a place for myself, you know? I had to work hard to be a watcher. Wasn't like handed to me…"

Faith cocks her head, " Well, gee, excuse ME, Hell. Not like I wanted this. I didn't choose it, ya know. I got stuck with it. So, screw you," Faith gets up, digging in her pockets for some money. She drops a bill on the table. " Thanks for the beer, but from now on, just butt out, ok?"

" Hey, sorry, " Helen gets up. " I just meant, I haven't like had it easy. I know you haven't either. I wasn't talking about you, Faith," Helen puts her hand on Faith's arm. " Come on, sit back down, all right?"

" Naw, I think I better get home. Gotta run in the morning… sitting here, getting blotto, only … aw fuck, what's another beer gonna hurt?" Faith sits down. " Look , sorry I've been a fuck up, ok? Another reason to really hate those two. They're screwin' up the one thing I do do right… shit, now I'm sounding like her… you say you've never been in love, Hell?"

" No. Never had the time, never met anyone made me want to take it, either."

" Here's a tip. You meet that person? Turn around, run like hell. Get as far away as you can, and thank whatever's lookin' over you that you got smart enough not to get stuck. All love does is make you dumb, and hurt," Faith says, emphatically. " It's a fact, Hell. I used to be way smarter ' bout this stuff. Get in, get some, get the fuck out. That was my credo. And why I ever broke it…" Faith shrugs.

" Maybe you don't get a choice in the matter, Faith, " Helen shrugs." What do I know, though? Never been there. Never been anywhere, actually…"

" What you mean, you've never been anywhere?" Faith looks at her with a strange expression. " Whoa…wait… you mean… never?"

" I told you, Faith, I was focused on my career. Never had time for romance or anything, " Helen says, blushing just a little. " Never had a real interest, you understand?"

" Yeah, ok, I get the no having a relationship… but never even with the humpity bumpity? No horizontal tango? Nothin?"

" If you're asking with all those euphemisms, if I've ever had sex? No, I haven't."

Faith looks flabbergasted. " Shit, girl. Are all the guys in England like, blind?"

"Faith, I hardly think discussing my sex life, or lack thereof, is appropriate. We're not talking about me, anyway!" Her blush is getting deeper.

" Well, we are now girlfriend. What? It's ok to talk about my romantic fuck ups, but you get a free pass? Don't think so!" Faith says," Like I said… they guys in England, they all blind? You're like model tall, and you got that freakin' hot red hair… of course, maybe if you…" Faith gets up, and goes behind Helen. She starts pulling out pins.

" Faith, what're you doing? Let my hair alone!" Helen reaches up to bat away her hands. Instead, Faith bats her hands away, and finishes the job.

" Now, shake your hair out." Faith says.

" I will not!" Helen looks offended. " What do you think you're doing?"

" Oh chill, Hell. We're off the clock, just do it!"

"Well, you've pretty much ruined it now anyway," Helen complains. But she complies, and shakes out her hair. _So, that's how you want to play it, eh Faith?_

" Yeah, much better, " Faith nods, returning to her seat. " Where was I? Oh yeah, you got great hair, and intense blue eyes… and legs that don't quit. I'm not seeing why you haven't been hit on majorly by those British dudes."

Helen gives Faith a strange look. " Did I ever say I was into…how'd you put it? … dudes?" She deadpans.

" Huh? You mean… oh," Faith smiles, and blushes. " Sorry, my bad." She feels suddenly very nervous and exposed. " Well, ok, then… still, why not with any … chicks?"

" I don't know, Faith," Helen has noted Faith's sudden discomfort, and is enjoying it thoroughly, " Maybe I have found the right one…" she gazes directly and Faith, and smiles, "… yet."

" Right!" Faith says, suddenly realizing that she feels like that fly in the spider's web. " Well, Hell, been swell, you know? But it's getting late, you know?" she stands up. " Gotta do this again soon. And hey? I'll work on not … _Oh, crap, just go!_ … bye now!"

_Shit, this is all I need. More women! _ Faith almost runs like her ass is on fire.

Helen, for her part, is desperately trying to keep from bursting out laughing. " Bye Faith. See you soon." She calls out after the retreating slayer. _And she's off. Look at her go!_

_Nice ass, by the way. _ She starts to laugh as soon as Faith is out of range. She picks up her beer, and finishes it in another swallow. _Geeze, do I scare them, or what?_

_Run all you want girl. Run, run , run._

_You can run, but you can't hide!_

_Teach you to try to mess with me, Girl. _She laughs and looks around a bit.

_Hmmm… look at him. Isn't _he _just Smashing! Yummy treats._ She licks her lips.

Laughing, Helen makes her way to the bar to settle their tab.

4

Buffy stands in front of Willow's house, a little puzzled.

Lately, she's been finding her way back to this house. A lot. It doesn't make much sense, really. Since she moved to her apartment, this really isn't on her way to or from work or school. There was no real reason she should keep coming by here; yet her feet seem to somehow bring her back again and again to this spot.

Today is different, however. There's some activity in the house. People moving around, packing up the furniture. And there's something new on the front lawn.

A " For Sale" sign.

Buffy walks up the sidewalk, and touches to sign, as if to reaffirm it's real. She stands staring at it, a small frown on her face.

_Well, I guess this pretty much tells it. The house is being sold. Gotta mean, she's decided not to come back._ Buffy feels a sudden hole open in her heart. Somewhere edging along at the back of her mind was the hope that maybe Willow would come back to Sunnydale someday. They'd be together like old times. But this pretty much puts the kibosh on that idea.

" Guess I should've expected this," She mutters to herself, kind of lost in herself. _I mean, after the way I left? Smooth, Buff. You could've handled that better. Not much the gracious loser, girl. What were you thinking, anyway? What's she got to come back here for? No Family, no real ties; Faith is in Ohio, and probably will be staying there. What's here for her? Me? Well, that's pretty lame… Damn, still… I guess she couldn't…_

" … see a reason to keep it anymore," A voice behind her startles her out of her reverie. She turns, and standing behind her, a little off, is Willow. Buffy feels frozen to the spot. " I mean, what's to come back to in Sunnydale, huh, Buff?"

For one of the few times in her life, Buffy is utterly, totally speechless.

" Not even going to say " Hey", Buffy?" Willow looks at her, a touch of sadness in her expression.

" Will.. I… " Then Buffy's feet kick in, and she's running towards Willow.

Willow, a little surprised, still manages to duck Buffy, and Buffy runs right on past, and almost falls on the ground when she grabs thin air.

" Umm… I'm assuming that was going to be a hug, Buffy. And, all considered, I don't think so, " Willow says, a little to the left of where she'd been standing previously. " I'm rather upset with you." She stands, arms folded over her chest.

Buffy looks at the air she's clutching in front of her, then over where Willow's voice is coming from. _How'd she do that?_ She approaches Willow slowly and cautiously. " Will? Is that really you?" She reaches out and touches Willow's shoulder.

" Of course it's me, Buffy!" Willow shakes her head. " Cute isn't going to do it, Buffy, " Though cute does touch her a little. _God, how can she be so … we're mad at her, remember, Will?_ " How could you do that, Buffy?"

" What?" Buffy looks confused, " Try to hug you?"

" Are you being deliberately dense, Buffy?" Willow sighs. " You know what I mean! How could you just walk out that way?"

" What did you want me to do, Willow? Hang around and looks miserable while you two made nice? Geeze, Will. Don't you think that's a little on the cruel side. Of course, I played pretty nasty with you… guess I had that coming…"

" God, Buffy!" Willow nearly explodes. As is, she throws her hands up and walks away before she wants to punch her. She turns back to Buffy. " You're pushing this blonde thing way too far. Do I have to draw a picture for you, or what? You just decided for me and Faith how things were going to be, and then you ran out. You didn't even ask what we wanted, or anything. Just " Here, you take her. I'm gone," and you were gone. Shit, Buffy, I don't get you sometimes. Do I know you, even?"

"Ok, big brained Willow. You tell me what I _should've _done. I mean, everyone was standing around, and Faith was about to bolt. Would you have preferred that? Faith just going? No one would make a decision, certainly not _her or you_. So I had to make some decision. Think it was easy to take?" Buffy turns away from Willow, muttering.

" What?"

" I said, Nosey, that you got the girl, and you're still bitching how you got her!" Buffy growls at her.

" Well, Dopey Blond, I didn't ' get the girl'. She left, anyway. I found myself going from having you and Faith there to pretty much … alone. Nice work, Buff!"

" I didn't know that, Willow, " Buffy says, tone softening.

" Yeah, well, no kidding. You didn't bother to hang around to see how your little bomb went over, did you? You just dropped it on us, then left before you could see the damage. Typical, Buffy. Drop a bomb, then run away. You're very good at that, Buffy. Real good."

" Will… I'm really sorry… I didn't mean…"

" Oh crap, Buffy. Don't do that. You know very well you meant…" Willow sighs. " No, I know you didn't mean anything bad, not really. But darn it, Buffy. You do more unintentionally than most do on purpose." Willow looks at her, frowning. " Do you know how frustrating it is to deal with you? How can I be mad at you, even though what you did hurt me terribly?"

" I didn't want to hurt you, Will. But she was leaving. Going to walk out. What was I supposed to do? No one was doing anything… I had to make a choice, and I made it. Not a good choice, I know, but I figured it was the best one I could make. It was logical, all considered. I think. Shoot, I don't know. I did my best, and I didn't do so good. " Buffy turns to her, face sad." I really didn't mean to hurt you, Will. And I'm sorry I rushed out, but it hurt too much to stay. I… what happened. Why didn't you and Faith…?"

" Buffy, I know what you were trying to do. Hell, even Faith got it. You were back in Buffy mode, trying to make things right. Buffy, some things? You can't fix. You told me not to fix it; but baby, that's exactly what you do. Try to fix things that maybe you just can't fix." Willow stands there, looking at her." The thing is? Much as it makes me mad, frustrates me to hell, and makes me want to hit you, it makes me love you all the more. Damn you, Buffy. It's not fair that I can't stay mad at you!"

" You're not mad at me?" Buffy asks hopefully.

" Oh, come here, dummy, " Willow says.

Buffy goes to Willow, and they hug. Willow whispers in her ear. " I've missed you, stupid!"

" I've missed you too, Will," Buffy hugs her tightly, " you don't know how much I missed you!"

" Missed you more!" Willow says, hugging her again

" Missed you most!" Buffy says, hugging her tighter. Willow gasps a little. " Oh, sorry."

" Kidding," Willow says, " but If you were still slayer strong, I'd probably have a broken rib." She teases.

" Can I mention… er… _F_… without upsetting you?" Buffy asks.

" I guess," Willow shrugs.

" I still don't get what happened, Will. Why didn't you and Faith just… you know, I was going to deal, why didn't you guys get together?"

" Buffy, think it's that easy? That's the problem. I don't even know if there is a solution to this. It was the same problem as before, Buffy, " Willow explains," We can't get together because this 900 pound blond gorilla keeps lurking in the corner. Even if it says. " Go ahead." It's still sits there, watching. I guess it's a guilty conscious thing that gets in the way, because of how it came about. But you leaving, saying " I'm out, I give you permission" isn't any different than you pushing us together before. You're still there between us. Maybe it's just never going to happen, for any of us."

" Then we're just giving up? Let her walk out of our lives? Like that?" Buffy looks at Willow, surprised." I can't believe we're just going to let her go."

" Oh, really? You did a pretty good job of doing that not all that long ago, " Willow says, pointedly.

" That was different, Will," Buffy protests.

" Didn't seem like it, seemed like walking away to me, rather like giving up. " Willow counters.

" That was different, because I thought you and she would be together. She wouldn't be out of our lives."

" What our, Buffy? " Willow shakes her head, " You walked away from Faith and me. There was no 'our'."

" Willow," Buffy looks at Willow, shocked. " We've been together for nearly 10 years. Except for mom, you've been in my life the longest. I can't imagine not having you in my life, somehow, no matter how mad we get at each other. It'd be like losing my heart, Will. Don't know if I could go on without you."

Willow just stares at her for a moment. _Goddess, how does she do that? know exactly the right thing to say to melt me like a marshmallow in hot chocolate?_" Gaaah, Buffy, there you go again. Making it impossible to be angry at you!" Willow cries out, frustrated and melty all at the same time.

" I thought you sorta felt the same way," Buffy says, quietly, " don't you?"

" You gotta ask that, Dopey Summers?" Willow shoves her." Of course I do." She sighs." I wish we could convince Faith of that." She looks at Buffy. " I think, honey, we're going to have to accept the fact that maybe, she wants to walk away. Maybe she can't deal with loving us both. Maybe she just can't choose."

They both go silent on that one. Buffy looks over at the " For Sale " sign and frowns.

" I hate this. You're going away." Buffy looks sadly at Willow.

" Buffy, there's just nothing here for me anymore," Willow says, " And there's just too many bad memories for me in Sunnydale. I can't live here without it all crowding up on me." She looks at Buffy, frowning. " I'm sorry, Buff. I just really can't be here anymore."

" I know. But what am I gonna do without my Willow?"

" Why do you have to be without your Willow?" Willow asks gently.

" Ummm…well, you're moving away! Pretty good reason, I think."

" Why can't you go with?" Willow asks her.

"Willow, my mom's here. And Giles. And I've…"

" Isn't your mom with Giles yet? I thought for sure they'd be together by now." Willow sounds genuinely surprised.

Not as much as Buffy, however.

" How'd you know that?" Buffy says, surprised.

" Well, for goodness sake Buffy. We're not all blind. I mean, when they were together in Ohio when you were there, it was pretty clear that they were together… if you get my drift."

" Ok, well, at least this time I have an excuse for not being percepto-girl. I was in a coma."

" Yeah. So, that takes care of mom. And Giles. What else? "

Buffy thinks about it… and thinks about it… and thinks about it.

" Nothing. Really… nothing." _Job? Please, mega crappy. School? Like, they don't have those …_ " Where would we be going, again?"

" Well, I'm still finishing my masters at Kent State. So, Kent, for now, anyway."

" Conveniently close to Akron, too, " Buffy grins. " what a coincidence."

" I said we _might_ have to accept her leaving us, Buffy." Willow says, quietly," I didn't say I'd accepted it yet."

" Ok, what's going on up in that head of yours?" Buffy ruffles Willow's hair, which causes Willow to giggle. " This sounds like another one of your crazy schemes, Lucy!"

Willow smiles enigmatically. " So, you never said. What's your answer, Buffy? For now, we'd live with Gram… but I'm sure we could afford an apartment or something later on…?"

Buffy just smiles, " What would I do without my Will, huh?"

" YES" Willow pumps her fist in triumph. She grins broadly.

" You little schemer… you had this planned all the time, didn't you?"

" YES!" Willow crows. She starts to dance around happily. Buffy starts to laugh. _God, how could I…?_ She doesn't get to complete her thought, because Willow in her excitement grabs her and kisses her. Smack on the lips.

" Whoa!" Buffy says, breaking the kiss. " Where'd that come from?" She unconsciously licks her lips.

" Oh, just a lil something I've been jonesing to do every since I knew you didn't drive stick exclusively anymore," Willow says, smiling. " That was kinda nice."

" Oh," Buffy says, a little bewildered. It hadn't occurred to her before.

Willow, seeing her confusion, backs off a little.

" Was it … bad?"

" Mmmm… no," Buffy says. She goes over to Willow, and returns the kiss… with a little extra warmth. When they break the kiss, they just look at each other.

" This isn't going to complicate things, is it?" Buffy asks.

" You're kidding, right?" Willow looks at her, surprised. " Exactly how much more complicated can things get?"

Buffy doesn't have the answer to that one. Instead, she just kisses her again.

After it breaks, they look at each other again. Willow breaks the silence.

" So, " She says, panting just a little, " no matter how it shakes out, we're good. You and me?"

" Yup," Buffy nods. " I know no matter what, I need my dose of Willowosity on a regular schedule." She winks.

" That's my Buffy," Willow grins, " Cute, not too bright."

" HEY!"

" Hey, yourself," She smiles as she leads Buffy up her walk. " Just kidding."

" If you weren't so lovable, " Buffy grouses, " I'd have to spank you."

" Oh, no! That'd be terrible Buffy, " Willow puts on an anxious face, " Simply awful."

The reach the door, and Willow opens it, inviting Buffy in.

" So, you never told me… what's going on in that head of yours, " Buffy says, as she enters the house.

" Oh, well, " Willow says, " I've got this crazy idea…"

The door shuts behind her.

5

"Are you sure about this?"

Faith looks around the cemetery, then back at Helen.

" I'm absolutely positive, Faith. My source said the Glendale Cemetery. I'm certain there's a nest in here somewhere."

" Well, I think you're intel was wonky, Hell, " Faith says, starting to walk down the rows. " I'm sensing zilch in here. I'm thinking someone was pulling your leg. You should be familiar with leg pulling," Faith's tone is a little acidy.

Helen smiles slightly, but overlooks the remark. " There's a lot of cemetery here. Maybe the nest if farther in."

" You're sure this isn't another one of your little pranks?" Faith says. She gives Helen a look. " Maybe you've paid some guys to jump out at me with chopsticks stuck in their mouths." Faith grins wryly.

"Well, are you going to be crabby all night, or look for the nest, Faith?" Helen needles her, " It's not like you didn't have that coming."

" I was hurtin' there, kiddo," Faith grouses, walking farther up the yard. " You knew I was havin' some issues, and you do that." She shakes her head. " Got a bit of mean streak under all that British reserve, don't ya?"

" Well, it wasn't nice what you did to me, was it, Faith?" Helen snaps. " I didn't like being made to feel like some kind of…"

" Shhh, would ya?" Faith hisses, " want to broadcast to the vamps we're comin'?" She starts striding quicker, putting some distance between them.

" Oh, sod off, you great prat, " Helen mutters, hurrying to catch up.

She sees Faith crouching by a tombstone, and moves to join her. Faith waves her down.

"What?" Helen whispers.

" Over there, by the mausoleum. I saw two figures. Maybe that's where the nest is," Faith whispers back. She pulls out a stake, and waves behind her. " Maybe you should move back a bit. Might get a bit rough."

" Why'd you pull your stake, Faith? I thought we were going to recon the nest, then plan a strategy of attack."

" Screw that, " Faith says, moving around the tombstone, " I'm a slayer. My job is to slay." She starts running in a crouch towards the mausoleum.

" Faith, wait!" Helen, a little perturbed, follows her." You should really stick to the original plan. Taking out a nest without some planning is rather foolish." _Don't you ever listen to anyone?_

" I told you to get back, " Faith whispers. " anyway, I've done this before. Strike quick before they have a chance to get ready, you know?" She looks around the corner of the mausoleum. " Oh, great, they've moved off. They've probably heard us. Damn, why can't you do what I say?"

_My thoughts, exactly._" Maybe we should back off a bit and wait…"

" I can't believe it, " Faith says, looking around the corner. " They came back out. Whatta bunch of… " She turns to Helen," Now, go wait and be quiet." Faith moves around the corner.

" Faith, wait… there's something you should…" She hears the noise of a scuffle, and a thud. Followed by a groan. " …know."

Faith quietly sneaks up on the figure before her. _Kinda of a shrimp of a vampire. Well, with them, size doesn't matter. Why aren't I getting any vibes though? Screw it._ She gets within two yards, and leaps out, going to knock down the vampire. Then she finds herself flying through the air, landing hard on her stomach, knocking the wind out of her. " Uhhhh." She groans, pushing up off the turf. A foot comes down on her back.

" On the quiet-sneak –up-on-the-vampire attack?" a familiar voice says, slightly amused, " That was pretty lame. You guys made enough noise to wake the dead."

Faith, pissed and somewhat surprised, reaches back and grabs the leg holding her down, she flips her attacker over, and jumps on her, raising her stake high.

" Well, well. Buffy," Faith growls, not at all amused. "What the hell are you doing here?"

" Gee, Faith, it's good to see you too, " Buffy smiles up at her. " Well, isn't this interesting? Me on my back on the ground, you straddling me. This could be fun, " She chuckles, then sees the stake. " Well, maybe not so much fun with that!"

"Faith, no. Don't!"

Faith is blindsided, and knocked off Buffy. Her stake goes flying.

" What the …" Faith rolls over, knocking her next attacker to the side. She looks down. " Oh for …" She pushes up, stands, and reaches down." Red? What the hell is going on here?" She pulls Willow to her feet. " What the hell is going on here?"

A laugh from the direction of the mausoleum grabs her attention. She whirls around to see Helen, leaning against the edifice, laughing loudly.

" You!" Faith's anger grows. She strides over the mausoleum, and confronts Helen. " This is your doing! What the hell are you pulling on me?"

Helen continues to laugh at her, as Faith grows redder and redder.

" Stop laughing at me!" Faith says, shoving her.

Helen, surprised, flies away from the wall of the mausoleum, and lands on her butt. For a second she's silent. Then she starts laughing again.

" You… are… so funny…" Helen laughs, pointing at Faith. "… I guess the world…is safe from … the vampire threat now…" She continues to laugh. She finally gets herself under control, and stands up, brushing herself off.

" Very funny, " She turns around, glaring at Buffy and Willow, who are standing a little off, smiling. " You two get a nice chuckle out of it too?" She turns back to Helen. " What's your problem?"

" My problem, Faith, " Helen says, suddenly serious, " is you go off half cocked, acting like a fool. I told you this was reconnaissance, but no, you fly into staking action. What if that had been a real nest? You could've gotten yourself seriously hurt, or killed. I'm you're watcher, and I expect you to listen to me." She walks over to Faith, and lays a hand on her shoulder. " And for some reason I can't puzzle out, I like you. I don't want to break in another slayer."

Faith just looks at her angrily, " I'm the slayer. I do things my way. Works out better that way, mostly."

" Not lately, Faith. You've been distracted and frankly, sloppy and careless. I think we both know why, " Helen turns to Buffy and Willow. " I suspect those two have something to do with it. So, when they came to me to get in contact with you, I set this up. I figured, being the stubborn burke you can be, If I just told you they wanted to see you, you'd refuse. So…"

" … you set me up, right?" Faith growls." Real great way to build up the trust, Hell, " She turns to Buffy and Willow." What're you two grinning at?" She walks towards the pair. " You think this is funny? Did you get a good chuckle laughing at me, making a fool outta myself?" Her temper rises, "Well, morons, you could've gotten seriously dead. You know what can happen on patrol, " She turns on Buffy particularly, " And you… you know how something like this can go down!" She gets right into Buffy's face. " Or did you forget Alan Finch, Buffy? I sure haven't!" Frustrated, angry, confused and a little scared, she shoves Buffy, who loses balance and hits the ground.

" Faith!" Willow says, coming over to help Buffy up. "What the heck…"

" Don't start on me, Red!" Faith points at her, " You know better than to pulls something like that. You … If I'd… oh shit, screw you both!" She turns and strides back to Helen, who is standing watching the tableau. " Listen to me, Hell. Don't you ever… EVER … pull something like this on me again! Do you realize how close you came to getting them killed?" She stands toe to toe with Helen, "What if I'd decided to dust them with this?" She pulls out her crossbow." Think of that?"

" Faith, leave her alone," Buffy, on her feet, walks over to Helen and Faith. " We talked her into it. Don't get down on her."

" Why the hell not, Buffy. She's my watcher, " she turns and looks pointedly at Helen. " She's supposed to know better." She turns back to Buffy, " but don't worry, B. Lots of anger to go around. She's a novice, Buffy. This is her first assignment. Think of how she would've felt if she got you two morons killed! But you didn't think of that, did you?"

" Look who's talking!" Buffy says, her anger starting to rise. " Ms. Run-into-battle-without-thinking. You haven't changed a bit, have you? Always thinking you know it all. Never listening to nobody but yourself," Buffy shoves Faith, " Maybe if you'd listened, for once, and did what she asked, you wouldn't have come so close to….Aw, forget it, " She storms off.

" That's right, B. When things get tough, you just run away. Don't you?"

" Maybe we should…" Willow starts towards Faith and Buffy. Helen restrains her.

" Maybe we should have a little chat," Helen says, pulling Willow with her.

"But… But… Faith will …or Buffy will…" She points at the duo.

" No, they need this, and we need to talk."

" I need to …" Willow looks at Helen, still pointing at Faith and Buffy.

" Come on," Helen pulls her away.

" That's not true," Buffy stops, back to Faith.

" Really? From what I've seen, every time something becomes too tough for you to handle," Faith stares at her back," you bail."

"That's not so. I've handled lots of tough stuff, "Buffy says, " more than you."

" Oh, I think you do pretty good with the big stuff, Buff," Faith says, " but the normal stuff, the human size stuff? It scares you. And you run."

" Not running now, " Buffy says. " I didn't come here to fight, Faith."

" Yeah, why _are_ you here, Buffy?" Faith's tone is cynical," last time I saw you, I was watching you walk away."

" I want to talk, Faith," Buffy turns around, " just talk. Can't we do that, and not fight?"

" Don't know why, Buffy," Faith says, " you seem so good at it. Fighting with me."

" I hate fighting with you, " Buffy says, her voice low, " every time I hear that tone in your voice, that angry, harsh tone, my stomach hurts." She moves closer to Faith. " I hate when you're mad at me."

" And yet, you keep doing things to make me upset Buffy. What's it about now?" Faith asks, stepping back a step, "Why're you even here? Last time I looked, you seemed to want to be away from me."

Over by the mausoleum entrance, Willow is talking to Helen. Her attention, however, is on Faith and Buffy.

" What do you want to talk about?" Willow asks distractedly.

" This was your plan, right? You seem to be the planner between you and Buffy. Is that right?"

" Yeah," Willow looks at her, " look, I didn't know Faith would react so… so…"

"I think it's more she's afraid, than anything," Helen says," for some reason, you two scare her."

" I don't mean to!" Willow declares.

" Hmmm…" Helen doesn't look convinced. " All I know is that she's not at her best. She's distracted, she's not concentrating on her job. That could get her killed. I don't want her killed. Do you?"

" Of course I don't want her killed, " Willow looks at Helen angrily, " that's a stupid question."

" I don't know what's going on with you three, " Helen holds up her hand when Willow starts to explain, " and I don't want to know. It's not my business. Faith is my business. Her staying alive, being the slayer. That's my business. Whatever's going on, fix it."

" That's why I'm here. That's what I want to try to do," Willow says, " Buffy too."

" I don't mean to be harsh," Helen says, " but I rather like Faith. I want her to be slayer until she doesn't want to be… then I want her to have a nice long life after that. I don't think… no, I know she's not happy, " Helen says, " that's the only reason I consented to help you meet with her. I'm hoping that somehow, you can make her feel happier. I want her to want something, something real, and here and now, so she has ties to here…and will be more careful."

" You care about her, don't you?" Willow says, " beyond just being her watcher. You care about her."

" Does that matter, really?" Helen asks, " I suspect under that rough tough as nails exterior is a soft, sweet heart. If that's what you're asking. One that's vulnerable, and easily broken. Do me a favor? Don't break it."

" I don't want to, " Willow says, " I want to make her happy. We both do."

" I hope so. But if you can't, then walk away, all right? Don't string her along, and don't intrude on her life anymore. Let her get over it." Helen looks at her with a firm expression. " Don't hurt her anymore."

" I won't," Willow starts towards the other two, " I won't."

" I thought I could make it better, Faith. You were leaving, and I thought it was because I made it hard for you guys again. I thought it would be better if I cleared out, " Buffy looks up at her, " I was wrong, wasn't I?"

" Oh yeah. I know you think you were helping, Buffy, but you were way wrong. It doesn't matter if you… what did you say that day? Dammit, I know this… accept it. That's it, accept it. That's not the point. I can't let me come between you and Willow. It doesn't matter if it's you, or Willow, either way, it ruins something really special. I don't know how many times I got to say this until you guys get it. I can't choose either of you. I wish you'd just accept _that_ , and let it alone." Faith , feeling drained, sits on a grave marker. " Every time we do this, I just feel bad all over again." Faith sighs heavily. " I just wish you two would just let it alone."

Buffy doesn't say anything more. She just walks over to Faith, and sits next to her. She puts her hand over Faith's hand.

"Faith?" Willow says walking up, " I know this is hard on you. And I heard you say leave me alone, pretty much. But you're important to us. We want you as part of our lives, " Willow comes to the other side of Faith, laying her hand on her shoulder, " All I'm asking is an hour. Will you talk to us for an hour. Then, if you say it, we'll go… right Buffy?"

" Hmmm? Oh… right," Buffy says, " sorry, got lost in my thoughts."

Faith looks warily at Buffy and Willow. " You promise? I listen to you guys for an hour, and if I say blow, you're gone."

"I promise Faith, " Willow says.

" Yeah, me too, " Buffy adds.

" Fine, " Faith says, sounding doubtful," so where? I mean, not wanting to talk here, are ya?"

" No, " Willow looks around and shivers. The symbolism's too obvious." Is there somewhere we can go and talk?"

6

Not too much later, they find themselves in a small coffee shop sitting around in a back booth. Helen is standing talking to Faith.

" Since this is private, I'll take my leave now. I'll see you tomorrow at the usual time?"

"Yeah, sure, " Faith says, then she looks up at Helen. " Not sure if I should thank you or what. But I guess thanks."

" Just get it worked out, " This last directed at the whole table. She turns and leaves.

For a few minutes, no one says anything. They stare at a menu as a way to avoid looking at each other or talk to each other. Faith finally slams down her menu, startling the others and ending the silence.

" All right, what's the deal? You got me here, " Faith says, looking at the other two, " though I can't see jack comin' out of this. Pretty much a waste of time. But tick-tock, clock's ticking. So…?"

" Are you ready to order?" The waitress comes up, looking at the three of them. " Oh, hi Faith, how's it goin?"

" Doin' fine, Sheryl. This here's…" she waves at Willow and Buffy,"… some friends, Willow and Buffy. I'll have a burger, extra cheese, fries, coffee… they got the cheesecake?"

" Sorry hon, ran out about an hour ago."

" Damn… ok, gimme an apple pie, ok? Wait, make that a double piece." She sees the expression on the other's face. "What? I'm hungry." She gives them a shrug.

" How 'bout you two?"

" Coffee"

" Coffee"

" Don't your friends eat?" Sheryl asks Faith. Faith gives the other two a look, and then looks back to Sheryl.

" Naw, I think they pretty much lost their appetites." She smirks.

Sheryl shrugs and moves off.

" So, what's the deal?" Faith looks at the two of them.

Willow looks at Buffy, who shakes her head and nods at her, indicating she should start. Willow makes a face at her, then turns and grabs the water, gulping some down. She puts it down, and looks at Faith.

More silence, as neither Willow nor Buffy seems comfortable starting the conversation.

Faith signs impatiently. " Look, this was _your_ idea, guys. Not waiting around all night to listen to you breathe. If ya don't start talking by the time the food arrives, just forget it."

" This is kind of hard Faith; and you're not making it any easier, " Buffy says, drumming her fingers on the table, " you seem to have already made up your mind about anything we got to say."

" Well, not seeing anything that you or Red can say that'll change things. I don't see the point." She almost glares at Buffy, " And I'm still trying to figure out why _you're_ even here, you know? I thought pretty much you said ' Adios, chica' couple of months ago. Now you wanna talk. Time for talkin' was back then, Blondie."

" I want another chance, Faith, " Buffy says, quietly, " I want be part of your life, if you'll let me."

" Me, too, " Willow finds her voice, " I want to try to make us work."

" Ummm… see, that's where it starts to fall apart. There's no us, Red, " Faith says, and then to Buffy, " And no us, either, B. And I can't see there being one, cuz it just leads back to everything being all fucked up again. Someone gets hurt, the other two are screwed because of big fat daddy guilt. So, what's the point?"

" No, not talking about you and Buffy, or you and me, Faith," Willows says., " I'm talking about us… all of us."

Faith gets a cynical smile on her face." A ménage a trios, eh?"

Sheryl comes back with Faith's food, setting it down in front of her. She places Buffy's and Willow's coffees in front of them.

" Anything else hon?" She addresses Faith, figuring the other two are lost causes.

" I don't suppose you guys got straight jackets in the back for my friends here," Faith says, tongue in cheek. " They seem to have lost their minds somewhere."

Sheryl just smiles tightly, and puts the check down on the table.

" Well, why not, Red?" Faith starts in on her food, " I mean, last time we did it, it wasn't so bad. Of course, not saying I liked being tied down and all…" She stops, looking at them. " Ok, I can't do this. This is just plain nuts. " she shakes her head, " What makes you think I'd go along with a crazy idea like that?"

" Look, Faith, I wasn't suggesting like we all share a great big bed like a cheap porno movie, " Willow says. She turns to Buffy. " Was I?"

Buffy shakes her head no, no and no.

" Then what the hell _ARE_ you talking about?"

" Look, Faith, Buffy and I talked about it, ok? We figure that losing you, really isn't an option. You mean a lot, a whole lot to the both of us. So, after some discussion…" She looks at Buffy, who nods, but tight lipped, " We share you, you know? I mean …"

" Whoa, share me? What am I? Some kinda toy for you guys to pass back and forth?" She puts on a mocking tone, " 'Gee, Buffy, I'm kinda of tired of her tonight. Why don't you take her?' ' Man, again? I had her the last 2 nights, Willow. Why can't you take her tonight?' . Yeah, that sounds peaches."

" God, not like that at all," Buffy says. She turns to Willow, " I told you she's be a stubborn ass about it, didn't I?"

" Buffy, give her a chance, ok?" Willow says. She turns to Faith. " Look , think you could treat this a little more seriously? I don't know about you, but I really don't like the way things are now. You wanna keep doing what we're doing, or not doing I mean?"

"What I want, " Faith says, putting down her burger, " is to go to sleep at night and not dream about you… or you" She nods at Buffy." I want not to think about either of you all the time. I want my life back. I want not to have ever met either of you. That's what I want!" she reaches for her coffee, but her hand is shaking. She withdraws it. " I guess, though, I'm not gonna get what I want. So, I guess I just don't want to do this merry-go-round no more."

" So, you don't want us, then? You don't want to be with us then?" Willow looks at Faith intently. " You're happier without us?" Her voice grows soft.

"Yes!" Faith says, pushing her food away. She's suddenly lost her appetite, too. " I'm way better off without you two messing up my life. At least, I can try to make a life for myself now. Not feel like I'm bouncing between to nut jobs who make me crazy!" She looks at them, an angry expression on her face, " What did you two expect from me? Some happy crap how this is perfect, why didn't I think of it? Well, dumb asses, here's the deal. It still doesn't change squat. All the jealousies and whatnot? Still there. Just now, there's the big tension in the air when someone gets hurt. And someone would wind up hurt, you know that. Cuz it just wouldn't … it can't be equal. Somebody gets hurt, and we're back at the same old thing, aren't we? What's different? Except the walking wounded is right there, rather than somewhere else. Yeah, great idea. Swell idea… if you're lookin' for a disaster!" she leans back in the booth, her stomach churning, " Why don't you two just get the hell out of my life?"

Willow looks close to tears. She turns to Buffy and tries to hide it, shrugging.

" OK, well, she's pretty much said it, hasn't she?" She starts to get up, " Let's go, Buffy."

" No, " Buffy says, her voice quiet, steely. "Not until I have my fucking say."

Faith smirks, " Sure, Blondie, why not? Let's hear from the runaway girl."

" No, Buffy, just let it alone. She's not interested…" Willow says.

" No, she doesn't just get off, " Buffy turns to her. " You know somethin, Faith? You're a real piece of work. You think you've got all the answers, but you know something? You're pretty damned stupid!"

" Well, I love you too, B," Faith mocks, " C'mon baby, don't sugar coat it. Give it to me straight."

" Glad to, _F,_" Buffy snaps at her, " you come off as the wounded victim here, but you're not the only one hurting. And the thing is, you're not afraid of hurting me or Willow. You're just afraid for yourself. You're a big old coward, Faith, can't take the heat, so you decide everyone else should be on fire."

" That's a hoot comin' from you, B!" Faith jeers, " considering you're record of running out any time the heat even comes close to you."

" Yeah, I've run. But not because I'm afraid I'd be hurt. Well not like you anyway. Thing is, Faith, you run without even moving. You run because you won't even TAKE any chances. You're great as long as everything's easy-peasy, but let something go wrong, and it's ' Well, gotta move on now.' And you try to wrap it in some noble crap about it being the right thing. Hell, we're all guilty of it, but you're the worst!"

" Well, aren't you the Brainiac all of a sudden, B?" Faith sneers at her. " You know what I'm thinkin and feelin without me even having to do it. " Cool beans. Nice to know why I walked away. But guess what, you're so wrong-o its almost sad. I love the both of you so much, I really can't choose between you… and you guys, you guys got this thing that's so great, I don't want to hurt it? Why? Because it's part of you. You guys are stronger together, better together. It's like I told Red. Why couldn't you guys like be one together, that would be … but it aint. And shit if I'm going to ruin that, or yeah, hurt myself and whoever I chose, because there's no way it'd last. Not with that between us…so fuck you, B! You don't know crap!"

" I know you didn't give us half a chance to explain what we meant. But even beyond that, you're a coward, Faith, know why?"

" Buffy, let's go. She's not interested in hearing it, and I don't want to be here anymore," Willow says, " Let it go."

" No, Willow, she's got to hear this."

" Yeah, let her speak, Red. Let her get it all out. That way she can't whine that I didn't listen, ya know?"

" You're a coward, Faith, because you want some kind of guarantee that everything's going to just be perfect. No problems, no anger, no hurt… everything's just gotta be perfect, or hey, you don't want it," Buffy leans over, " Know how I know that? Cuz I'm a big fat coward too. I'm scared to death this is going to blow up in our faces. I'd like a guarantee that it's gonna all be great. I'm almost as big a coward as you. Surprised I admitted it? Thought you'd be able to throw it back in my face, didn't ya?"

" Not looking for no guarantee, Buffy, " Faith says," just don't want any more hurt goin' around. Not if I can help it."

" Shit, what do you think that is?" Buffy comes over to her side of the booth, and shoves herself in. " move over…"

" Hey, go back on your side of the table. I'm eating here!"

" Move!" Buffy says. Faith grumbles, but moves. Buffy sits next to her, and leans in. " Tell you something. When Will first told me this idea? I thought it was nuts too."

" HEY!" Willow says, from the other side of the booth, " you never said that!"

" I just got you back to not being angry at me? I'm going to tell you you're idea is nutso? Please Will." She turns to Faith, " I thought for sure, Will had lost it."

" Yeah?" She looks at Buffy suspiciously. " What changed your mind?"

" I haven't… entirely. There's times when I thinking, ' what the hell am I doing? This'll never work'. "

" Gee, Buffy… thanks for helping sell the idea," Willow says, sarcastically.

" Will, please, most of the time, I know you're right, ok?"

Willow's only partially mollified.

" Faith, the thing is? Life's got no guarantees. I want them, you want them. But not gonna happen. But think, and I mean really think, about the alternative, ok? You really want to be alone? Cuz, baby, if you look for guarantees, that's what you're gonna be. Alone. I don't care if you find someone solo, so to speak. Who's to say that won't blow up in your face? Especially when they find out what you do for a living? C'mon, who's gonna deal with that like we could? No, baby, you want guarantees, get the cats right now. Cuz it won't happen. You'll wind up alone. Relationships messy and nasty and lots of hurting. I know, I've been through enough to know how bad it can be. And my track record really sucks. But I'm willing to try again. Know why?"

" Why?" Faith's curiosity's been piqued.

" You're looking at her right there, " Buffy points at Willow.

" ME?" Willow looks flustered, and pleased." You didn't say that either!"

" Ok, Buffy, what? You got a thing for Willow?"

" Oh yeah. It's called a relationship we've had nearly 10 years, and still going strong. Hell, Will and I have fought like cats at time, we've yelled and screamed. We've broken up, and come back together. Know why?"

Faith shrugs.

" Because," Willow takes it up, " no matter how much Buffy irritates me, or makes me want to hit her, or just never see her again? I know that I have to see her again, because I know I'm better because she's in my life. At the end of the day, we're better together than not together."

" And if you think someone even as sexy and hot as you can come between that, Faith, you're pretty damned stupid!" Buffy adds.

" Yeah, you see?" Faith looks at Buffy, then across to Willow, " That's what's so special about you two. I'd love to have something like that with someone…"

" Then, dope, why won't you let us give it to you?" Willow asks, gently. She reaches over, and cover's Faith's hand with her own. " That's what we want to share with you."

" I don't get it," Faith says, " Why?"

" Faith, we're not total greedy guts," Buffy says," We've got to know you over the last couple of years. We like what we see."

" A lot!" Willow adds in, enthusiastically. " We both love you, and we want you to be part of our life. Because with or without you, Buffy and I are going to have a life together. We want it with, though."

She looks at the both of them. " You two?"

" Faith, we've been together for a lot longer than most couples. We've been through a lot together. More than most couples ever go through, " Willow reaches over, and squeezes Buffy's hand. " I can't think of being without her, and visa versa… right?"

" Oh yeah. What'd I do without my daily dose of Willowosity?" Buffy says." I learned that way too much the hard way when I went back to SunnyD without her. I need her in my life."

" Well, that's just great, guys, " Faith says, an edge to her voice, " but I don't know why you couldn't have told me that in 5 minutes, and not waste my time sitting here listening to the rest of this crap." She turns to Buffy. " Think you can move so I can go now?"

" She's not getting it, Will, " Buffy says.

" Faith, wait. You didn't let us finish. Give me a chance to finish, ok?"

" Anyway, I'm not moving, Faith. So unless you want to shove me out on the floor, and make a big scene, and not be able to come here again, sit your ass down!" Buffy barks.

_Why did I let myself get bamboozled by the Terrible Twins? Shit and damn, won't I ever learn when it comes to them?_

" Ok, fine, say your piece so I can get my ass outta here."

" Faith, all I'm saying is that, like it or not, you've been a big part of our lives too. Not always a happy part, but you've been a big part. And we've been pretty much a big part of yours. Wouldn't you agree with that?"

" Yeah, not by choice, " Faith says, tartly.

" Well, maybe this is the part you get to choose, Faith, if you'd listen to Will." Buffy says, a little impatiently.

" Faith, I know a lot of it's been unpleasant for you, and you've been through a lot. We have too. And we've both grown to care a great deal for you. Is that one way? You don't care about us, too?"

Faith feels boxed in, on more than one level.

" Yeah, so? What if I do?" Faith admits, " what's that got to do with it?"

" I remember you telling me once that if you ever found someone to love, who loved and wanted and needed you, you'd pretty much stick to them like glue. Pretty much like that, right?"

_Shit!_

" Yeah, ok, yeah I said that." Faith half grins.

" So, dumb ass " Buffy leans up next to her, " You've got two women who want and love and need you. Bonus. What more do you want?"

Faith looks at Willow. Then at Buffy. Then she thinks about it.

And thinks about it.

And thinks about it.

" This is nuts!" Faith finally declares. " You're both nuts."

" Maybe, " Buffy says, " but when has that stopped you before?"

" This can't work. It's just too…"

" You'll never know if you don't try, Faith," Willow says, " I can't promise you anything. Sure there's gonna be lots of bad times, probably. But I'm thinking, there'll be lots of good times, too. Lots and lots. I'm not talking about some weird porno sex thing either. It's about the three of us living together, caring and loving each other, and sharing a life. Where's the rule that it can only happen with two? Show me it."

" I can't make a decision like this on the spot," Faith squirms a little. " this is… I need time to think."

" That's fair, I guess, "Willow says, " What do you think, Buffy?"

" I think we should tie her up, lock her in the closet, and keep there until she has to pee so bad she'll agree to anything," Buffy deadpans.

Willow and Faith look at her like she's nuts.

" Oh, I must be channeling my dark side," Buffy chuckles. "I'm kidding Faith, don't bust a gut. Yeah, ok, it's fair. She can think about it… for awhile, anyway."

" Buffy, be fair! Give her the time she needs."

" Yeah, ok, " Buffy grumbles a little, " Geeze, what are we, like ugly? God, two hot women comes on to me, think I'm gonna sit there and contemplate my navel? " She looks at Willow, grinning. " But if that doesn't work, I'm all for my closet plan."

" Don't listen to her. I think being a vampire? Way over stimulated her hormones. She's always like that." Willow says.

" She's worse. She thinks I don't know about her little toy collection, " Buffy smirks. " Whirr, whirr, Will."

Willow turns bright pink.

Faith looks at Willow, then at Buffy. _Ok, what happened to these two, anyway? Red at least, used to be sane. God, Buffy must be catching!_ " Ok, I've had enough chat for tonight. Like I said, I'll think about it. Get back to you, ok?" She turns to Buffy, " Move your ass, Buffy, I wanna go."

" Ok," Buffy shrugs. She gets up, and lets Faith out. She slides back in the seat after Faith is standing. " Nice. Still warm."

Faith rolls her eyes. " Later."

She starts to walk away, but Willow grabs her sleeve. " Really, Faith. Think about it, ok?"

" I will."

" We're at my Gram's house still. You can call us there, ok?"

" Sure," Faith says, grabbing the check, " Whatever."

She hurries away.

" What do you think?" Willow watches Faith hurrying away. " I think we scared her."

" Maybe, a little," Buffy says. " She'll be ok once she calms down and thinks about it a little. Stops thinking it'll be like a porno movie."

" I didn't explain it right, did I?" Willow says, a little worried.

" You did ok, Will. I mean, it's a pretty radical concept, " Buffy reaches for her hand. " She's just gotta get her mind wrapped around it." She catches Willow's expression. " Don't worry, she'll come around."

Faith hits the sidewalk and stops. It's a cold night, and she pulls her jacket tighter. The street looks somewhat dark and deserted.

She looks around, and thinks. Thinks about her room, and being alone again, and the fact that the two women she loves are sitting in the coffee shop behind her, and that she's standing out here like an idiot.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

She turns and goes back inside.

" I don't know, Buffy, " Willow says, " She didn't look too happy."

" She's just … " Buffy looks up, and sees Faith fast approaching the table. "… here"

" Huh?" Willow sees Buffy staring, and turns around. Faith is standing there. Looking at them.

" Move over Buffy, " Faith says.

" Huh?"

" I said, move over. I didn't finish my dinner." Faith points at her plates.

Buffy slides over, letting Faith in. Faith pulls over her plates, and starts on what's left of her hamburger.

The two of them stare at her.

" What? I paid for it, and I'm hungry." Faith says, eating heartily.

Buffy smiles.

Willow smiles.

Faith smiles.

* * *

Fin. 


End file.
